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♪ And I need you today
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♪ Oh, Mandy. ♪
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This programme contains some strong
language and adult humour
4
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Hiya. I'm from Scrubbers,
I'm here to do your downstairs.
5
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,920
Right, I'm just off out for a bit.
I'll leave you to it. OK, yeah.
6
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,520
Is there any specific areas you want
me to clean? All over, really.
7
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,640
Actually, you can start with
the front door.
8
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:25,800
OK. Thank you. See you.
9
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,120
The Sheik Cha Cha
by Enoch Light
10
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:04,040
Alexa, how can I heat up
my steak bake?
11
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Alexa,
play Like A Virgin by Madonna.
12
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Waste of money.
13
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,600
Ooh, look, a hot tub.
14
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79 Pritchard Avenue, here we are.
15
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,160
I have always wanted to do
Who Do You Think You Are?
16
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Oh, this is different. This is
Who Are You, Do You Think?
17
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A programme in no way affiliated
to the long-running
18
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:24,160
and successful genealogy show,
Who Do You Think You Are?
19
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I'd quite like to be Irish.
I always think they seem nice.
20
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Is this the house? Yeah.
21
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Claire Ashbourne.
22
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:34,120
So all you have to do is, you know,
say a few words about
23
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,080
how moved you are to be tracing
your family tree,
24
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:41,000
deeply humbled, blah blah blah,
and then knock on the door, OK?
25
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,720
In your own time. And if you feel
like crying at any point,
26
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don't hold back, OK? Action.
27
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,880
I suppose I've always
had an affinity with the north.
28
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,680
They're simple folk,
a bit rough and tumble,
29
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,400
but with an honest kindness.
30
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,920
So to discover I've got relatives
here is really exciting.
31
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A cousin I've never met lives right
here in this house, and she holds
32
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,680
the clue to what I'll be doing next.
33
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,480
So let's go and meet her.
34
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,720
Who the fucking hell's that?
35
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What do you want?
36
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Oh, hello, it's Deborah Meaden.
37
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,960
Who? Deborah Meaden.
I'm with the BBC.
38
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,720
Oh, I only watch ITV.
39
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,280
It's Deborah Meaden. I'm a Dragon.
40
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,000
You having a breakdown?
41
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We rang you up last week. Look.
42
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,720
Happens all the time.
43
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Oils the wheels.
44
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,280
OK, let's go again, Deborah.
45
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,000
And, remember, if you want to cry
at any point, just go for it, OK?
46
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,080
Hello, it's Deborah Meaden.
I believe we're cousins.
47
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,000
All right,
you'd better come through.
48
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,840
Yeah, go through.
49
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,120
This is my house. I live here.
50
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,680
What happened to your arm?
51
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,280
Well, let's say never get involved
in an arm wrestling match
52
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,240
with Hilary Devey.
53
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,400
So I gather we share a great
grandmother. Oh, right.
54
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,840
Yeah. So I've never actually seen
a picture of her.
55
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:24,440
So I was wondering if you had any
photos tucked away anywhere?
56
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,200
No, no, not on me, no.
57
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,320
Erm, when we spoke over the phone
last week, you said
58
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,440
that you did have some photos,
so it'd be really good
59
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,040
if you could find them.
60
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,800
I'll go and have a look.
61
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,480
Filastrocca Per Cretini
by Ennio Morricone
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Shite on house.
63
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,400
That's her. That's our nan.
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I-I don't know what to say. Aw.
65
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,680
Makes you think, doesn't it.
66
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,040
Ooh, does this mean
we'll be filming in India?
67
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,600
Oh, no, I'm afraid not.
68
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,400
We already blew the travel budget
flying Sheena Easton to Sri Lanka.
69
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,320
Sheena Easton? Bloody Sheena Easton.
70
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,040
But, look, erm, the two of you,
what you've got here, I mean,
71
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,960
it's really good. It's lovely stuff.
72
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,920
Erm, have you got anything else
of your nan's?
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No.
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00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:50,840
Are you sure?
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00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,360
I'll go and have a look.
76
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,800
Are we going to be able
to use any of this?
77
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,920
I mean, she's so...
78
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,080
..normal. Oh, Deborah,
she's fantastic.
79
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,840
I mean, the viewers
are going to love her.
80
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,080
I'm just wondering, actually,
if it might be an idea
81
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,040
to take her with us for the rest
of the journey. Really?
82
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,960
Yeah. I mean, the two of you work
really well together.
83
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,320
Be a shame to leave it like this.
84
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,840
I'm not sure.
85
00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,360
I mean, you've seen what she's like.
86
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,000
Yeah, no, she's fantastic,
isn't she?
87
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,160
She's TV gold.
88
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,520
OK, let's just crack on
and get this over and done with.
89
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,640
Filastrocca Per Cretini
by Ennio Morricone
90
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,840
Is that what I think it is?
91
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,040
Her earthly remains.
92
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:03,040
And cut there. Erm, er, basically,
we were wondering
93
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,920
if you'd like to join us
for the rest of Deborah's journey.
94
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,800
Where are you going? Oldham.
95
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,120
We've got some information there
on a relative of yours.
96
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,520
Christ, I hope it's not
a Nazi sympathiser.
97
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,760
No, it's a...it's a local historian.
98
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,080
You'll be meeting with him
in a records office.
99
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:23,120
Oh, right. Local historian.
I suppose all historians are local
100
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,800
when you think about it.
101
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,680
They say you're never more than
three feet from a local historian.
102
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:28,880
Or is that rats?
103
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,560
Er, so, erm, are you up for it?
104
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,760
Yeah. Just let me put
some knickers on.
105
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,360
And action.
106
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,320
So, Jeffery, you're a local
historian and you've got some
107
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:47,480
information on a relative who used
to work in a cotton factory?
108
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:52,160
Er, Lizzie Haworth, your great great
grandmother, used to work here
109
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,680
as a cotton piercer, repairing
broken lengths of cotton.
110
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,640
A very dangerous job,
and many people had accidents.
111
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:02,640
And, unfortunately, your great great
grandmother was one of them.
112
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,040
Her fingers got caught up
in the machinery
113
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,920
and she lost six of her fingers.
114
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,440
So she'd have been unable to work.
115
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,680
That's right. Result!
116
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:17,000
Actually, in those days, of course,
there was no benefit system, so not
117
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,080
working meant life could be very
difficult indeed, especially
118
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,080
if you didn't have any well-off
relatives to help you out.
119
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:27,040
And I found this in the local paper
from the time.
120
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,920
So February the 8th, 1902.
121
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,600
Miss Lizzie Haworth
has been taken to court
122
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,480
and charged with soliciting.
123
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,000
She was a prostitute!
124
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,240
Wasn't there some other kind
of work she could have done?
125
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,080
Well, she could have taken
in washing, as other women did,
126
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,000
but that was long hours
for very little money. Mm.
127
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,560
And whacking off some chap
would only take a few minutes.
128
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,000
{\an8}Harder work, though,
with less fingers, so.
129
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,200
And cut.
130
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,160
Thanks, Jeffery, that was wonderful.
Exactly what we're looking for.
131
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:03,160
Don't you want to see some
of the old factory records?
132
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,800
Er, no, that's great. We've got
everything we need. Thank you.
133
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,480
Do you have any other relatives
who might be able
134
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,400
to bring Deborah's story to life?
135
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,640
Ooh, there's my Uncle Charlie,
but he's a bit...
136
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,440
He's a bit what?
137
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,320
Well, you'll see.
138
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,600
Nature breedin' 'ell.
139
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,760
What do you want?
140
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,080
Th-this is Deborah.
141
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,800
She works at the BBC.
142
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,560
She reckons she's related to us.
143
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:46,600
Deborah. Deborah, my little
flowerpot petal face.
144
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:47,840
Me baby!
145
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,240
Come in, sparrow.
146
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:56,280
Come in, cock.
147
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,560
Deborah, this is our Uncle Charlie.
148
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,640
He were a stonemason.
149
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:07,880
I'm not a mason, but I know a good
bit of stonework when I see it.
150
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:11,760
He went to jail for killing
a man stone dead.
151
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,960
These are your cousins.
152
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,520
They're both grown up now.
153
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,880
Han Solo's a roofer,
and Obi-Wan's a barrister.
154
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,440
A barrister.
155
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,040
What does he specialise in?
156
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,400
Oat-milk lattes, I think.
157
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,760
That's Mick the fitter.
158
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,560
He fits kitchens.
159
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,720
When he were 15 years old,
he had a wood round
160
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:36,000
and he used to sell chips for
half a crown and logs for two bob
161
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,200
and take 'em round on pram wheels.
162
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:42,520
He had a try-out with Manchester
City, but they didn't take him on.
163
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:43,920
And how's he related to us?
164
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,120
He's not.
165
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:59,240
It's, er, finally time to scatter
your grandmother's ashes.
166
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,840
Er, so just say a few words, have
a little cry if you want to, OK?
167
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,120
Erm, in your own time. Action.
168
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:09,280
So it's...it's strange,
because in many ways
169
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,760
I feel like I've come home,
170
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,440
but, then, in other ways,
I can't wait to get back to London.
171
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:19,240
But it's so moving to be scattering
the ashes of a member of the family
172
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:23,720
who I'd never met, but in so many
ways feel very connected to.
173
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,520
She would have been so chuffed
to be on the telly.
174
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:54,360
Well, it's been lovely, but I really
do need to get back to London.
175
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,400
Maybe we can watch the show
together when it goes out.
176
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,160
That'd be lovely.
177
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,400
You will let us know when it's on,
won't you?
178
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,560
Of course, Deborah. Great.
179
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,520
You must pop round sometime.
180
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,600
Yeah, well, thanks.
181
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,760
Filastrocca Per Cretini
by Ennio Morricone
182
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:17,920
Ooh.
183
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,600
Mind if I unplug your phone?
184
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,200
I just need to plug
my slow cooker in.
185
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,360
That'll be done by Reading.
186
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,040
Oh, it's you.
187
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,680
Our show's on today.
188
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,800
You said we could watch it together,
but they never told me it was on.
189
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,880
Yeah, but... Just come through.
190
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,920
Ooh, look, you've got a chandelier.
191
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:57,720
It's been a really moving
and sometimes baffling experience,
192
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,440
but I think I can safely
say that I now know
193
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,360
who I think I am.
194
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,400
Not as good as Danny Dyer's,
but still all right.
195
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,640
Well, thanks, Claire,
196
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,840
I have to say I genuinely couldn't
have done it without you.
197
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,280
Claire? Who's Claire?
198
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,320
I'm Mandy.
199
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,280
Mandy? You're not Claire Ashbourne?
200
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,440
No. So we're not related?
201
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,360
This whole show's been a lie.
202
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:22,960
I thought it were weird.
203
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,920
You didn't think to question
why a TV producer was talking about
204
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,760
all the telephone calls
he had with you?
205
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,320
Well, no matter, who's to know.
206
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,960
As long as I get invited
on Taskmaster, I don't care.
207
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,600
Ooh, that might be Taskmaster now.
208
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,200
What? 37 missed calls
from Meera Syal.
209
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,040
Do you want some stew, Deborah?
210
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,080
Oh, Mandy...
211
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,120
..I'm out.
212
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,640
I'll have some.
213
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,560
Is it beef?
214
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:58,600
♪ Oh!
215
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,520
♪ Papa loves mambo
216
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:04,400
♪ Mama loves mambo
217
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:05,760
♪ Papa does great with it
218
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,320
♪ Swings like a gate with it
219
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,200
♪ Evens his weight with it, now
220
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,240
♪ He goes to
221
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,080
♪ She goes fro
222
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,680
♪ He goes fast
223
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,160
♪ She goes slow. ♪
17182
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