Original subtitles

On April 23rd, former employee Josh Mullen

snuck into the SCI offices to finish his action series.

These episodes are the evidence.

- My God, it's an asteroid the size of Washington, DC.

- Where's it headed?

- Washington, DC.

As you can see,

I let everyone from the Super CIA go home early.

It's important to be with family at a time like this.

Oh, I'm sorry, Jack.

I forgot that your only family, your sister, is dead.

Avenge your dead sister, Jack.

- She probably wouldn't have been much comfort anyway,

since she was evil.

- Whatever.

- Three, two, one- - It's time to shuttle up.

And liftoff!

I'm Jack Maxwell, decorated war hero,

elite special ops agent,

and I'm one credit away from an astrophysics degree.

If you're a rock that's 40% nickel, 60% magnesium,

and 100% headed towards Earth,

you've made a "Fatal Decision."

- Oh, no, we hit a space cage.

- Who'd put one of those up here?

Me.

I also put a bomb on your ship.

I'm taking control of this country,

and you would get in the way, Jack.

See, I'm using a magnet to pull that asteroid towards DC,

and once it hits, all the senators and bureaucrats will die.

And guess who's 127th in line to be president?

- Oh wait, no, hold on, I know this, I know this.

It was, it's the guy, it's the guy,

it's the wife of the guy-

- Me, you soon-to-be-dead idiot!

- Okay, hold on, there are different kinds

of intelligence, all right. - Whoa!

- Oh, we're allowed to be here,

'cause Mitchell said we could film in here.

- None of my business.

But wait, the commander is like, a bad guy now?

Crazy.

- That's crazy! - Uh, crazy!

- I knew you'd think that.

I had the same problem with your sister,

that's why I had to

Kill her.

- No, I love living! - Hey, Jack, boom!

- Oh no, Jack.

Man, I don't think we're gonna get out of this,

but look, if this is how we go out,

I just wanna say that it's been great working with you

and we've had some really great memories.

You know, I mean?

There was the time that we went to the Banana Island

and talked to all those little bananas, man.

And then there was- - Here's a new memory.

The time I built you an escape pod

and saved your life one last time.

Wow.

Wait, you're not coming with?

- Sorry. - Ooh!

- There's a big asteroid out there

that needs to get blown into smaller asteroids.

- Jack, no, I don't think you can breathe out there.

Airlock open.

- Taylor, it's up to you now.

Tell everyone on Earth I'll miss them, except Commander,

we are not cool.

- Hip, hip, hurray!

Jack saved the day. - Woo hoo!

Thanks, Jack. - Woo! Woo!

- Thank you.

Time for plan B.

Why, Jack?

Why?

Alright, let's get cooking on the next one.

- Yeah.