Original subtitles

♪ One fine day with a question on their mind ♪

♪ CatDog left old Nearburg behind ♪

♪ Tired of wondering, tired of feeling bad ♪

♪ Set off searching for their mom and their dad ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... CatDog... CatDog ♪

♪ Out on the road went little CatDog ♪

♪ They're gonna find weirdos, gonna find nuts ♪

♪ Pussycats, goofballs, hillbilly mutts ♪

♪ They look real high and they look real low ♪

♪ They look in places where the sun don't go ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... CatDog... CatDog ♪

♪ What are you gonna find, you little CatDog? ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... CatDog... CatDog ♪

♪ What are you gonna find, you little CatDog? ♪

[Captioning sponsored by The U.S. Department of Education

and Nickelodeon]

[ door slams, clattering]

Dog: Parents' Day, Parents' Day!

[ Cat yelling...]

Rancid: Step right up for Parents' Day.

[ cash register rings]

You must be accompanied by a parent.

20 bucks to share in the joy and majesty of Parents' Day.

Dog: Happy Parents' Day!

Dog: Whoo! Parents' Day!

Oh, look how much fun they're having, Cat.

Playing leap-parent...

Pin the child on the parent....

Hot potato parent...

Ah, isn't Parents' Day magical?

[ crying]

Make it stop!

Isn't this great, kiddo?!

Your first roller-coaster ride!

But I'm scared!

Of course you are, sweetie.

That's what makes roller coasters so much fun.

[ all screaming...]

Cliff: Hey, CatDog!

Why don't you come on in and join the fun?

Ooh, I forgot, you ain't got no parents.

[ all laughing...]

We do too have parents!

You'll see.

Thank you, keep the line moving... come on...

Hello.

Hello, nice to see you.

[ bird chirps]

[ alarm buzzes]

[ siren wailing...]

[ bell dings]

[ bird squawks]

Duh, I love Parrots' Day, heh-heh.

Not Parrots' Day, you simpleton.

It's Parents' Day, as in the people who raised you

fed you, took care of you and made you what you are today.

Duh, right-- parrots.

This explains so much.

Now go on, shoo!

You're holding up the line.

[ parrots squawking]

Hey... uh... hey...

Sing along with Rancid.

♪ Parents

♪ That right, parents

♪ Tall... short... wacky...

♪ wiggly parents

♪ We're parental through and through ♪

♪ Raising kids is what we do

♪ Feed 'em, wash 'em, dry 'em, too ♪

♪ We are parents

♪ Oh, parents

♪ You heard me-- parents ♪

♪ Up, down, sideways, backwards-- parents, ay,yi♪

♪ Sometimes happy, sometimes not ♪

♪ Some run cold, some run hot

♪ We're the only ones you've got ♪

♪ We're your parents

♪ Bandage boo-boos, scrapes and cuts ♪

♪ Wiping noses drives them nuts ♪

♪ We are parents, we are parents, we are parents ♪

[ bowling pins crash]

♪ Oh, what a happy sound

♪ Parents falling on the ground ♪

♪ And they'd rather save their pennies... parents ♪

♪ Moody, nutty, fancy, cruddy, we're your parents. ♪

[ roller coaster stops]

Whoo! Thanks, Mom and Dad, you're the best.

I couldn't have done it without you.

Let's go again and again and again.

♪ Oh, parents, da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

♪ Where's our parents?

Kid: It's so good to have parents. [ laughs]

Dog: Ah, isn't Parents' Day magical?

Cat: Yeah.

Now, if we could only make it disappear.

Remember how we used to curl up on Mom's nose

and Dad would sing us to sleep?

Rock-a-bye CatDog, on Mommy's nose...

[ burps]

♪ With two tiny heads and four sets of toes. ♪

[ burps]

The only thing I remember

is that we're on our own and we always have been.

This is the day, Cat--

the day we finally reunite with our long-lost parents.

Dog, they're not long-lost.

They're long gone.

Attention CatDog's parents.

Hello, 10-4.

Please report to CatDog.

I'm announcing! Paging Mom and Dad.

We're not going anywhere, we'll be here until further notice.

Come get us!

Why do you embarrass us like this every year?

Don't you get it?

Our parents aren't coming.

Not today, not tomorrow.

What about the day after tomorrow?

Not ever!

Lube:Hey!

Hey...!

[ groaning]

Cat: Oh, I'm not having fun.

[ groaning continues]

Duh, has anyone seen my parrots?

[ Dog grunting]

Don't be disappointed, Cat.

There's always next year.

Hmm...

[ growling impatiently]

Ding-ding.

[ Cat screaming]

[ crashing and beeping]

[ Cat groaning]

I hate this room.

Oh, I feel a lot of love in my parents theory room.

Love, love, love.

Mm-hmm.

Love? [ scoffs]

If our parents love us so much

why haven't they tried to find us?

Ah, but Cat...

they are trying to find us.

But they're being stopped

by mysterious forces beyond they're control.

For example, theory number 47:

Mom and Dad were looking for us at the North Pole

and got frozen in an icy iceberg.

Or theory number 119:

Mom and Dad are stranded on a deserted island

inhabited by rabid weasels.

[ weasels barking and growling]

Or theory number 78:

Mom and Dad are trapped in a revolving door.

[ gasps]

But Dog, you're forgetting theory numero uno!

I am? What is theory numbero uno?

Our parents haven't found us yet because...

they're not looking for us!

Then we shall be looking for them.

We are not going to waste our time

looking for parents

who obviously don't care about us

and that's final!

Don't worry, Mom and Dad.

I haven't lost hope.

[ snoring and mumbling...]

Mom... Dad...

Mom, hi.

We turned out pretty good, huh?

[ snoring and whimpering]

[ sighs]

Well, who knows?

May be they are out there looking for us.

[ groans]

Who am I trying to kid?

Dog: Mom... Dad...

Dad... Mom...

Coming up next

on the Whitefish Chub Channel

Chub Chat,with your host Chet Chubberton.

[ barking and laughing]

Dog, do you mind?

[ Winslow laughing]

No, he don't mind at all.

[ laughs]

He can do this for hours.

And so could I.

[ laughs]

Nothing like quality time with my CatDog.

[ rumbling]

What, what is that?

Winslow: Hey, hey...

Eek...

This is Randolph, your roving reporter

coming to you live from the far regions of Yonder Land

where the giant whirlywind geyser Old Uppenchuck

is due to erupt within the next 24 hours.

Ooh, a sneak preview...

and I love it!

And his dad loves it, too.

Jeez-Louise, the last time Old Uppenchuck blew

was around the same time youse two showed up.

Ah, seems like yesterday.

Hey, nice shoes, funny boy.

Ah, too easy, I need a challenge.

[ rumbling]

Whoa... [ screams]

[ wailing]

Whoa!

Sheesh... look at that.

A cute dog attached to an ugly, disgusting cat.

[ laughing]

Thank you...

That was the best day of my life.

Why didn't you tell us this before?

You never asked me.

[ laughs]

If that's true, then we must come from Yonder Land.

Which means our parents might be...

Parents?

Don't even think about it, Dog.

Think about what?

We're not going.

Going where?

Don't say it, Dog.

Say what?

Don't say, "We're going to Yonder Land

to look for our parents?".

We're going to Yonder Land to look for our parents?

Oh, all right, we'll go.

But I'm only doing this for you, now stop hounding me.

Hi-ho diggity!

Cat, are we there yet?

Are we there? Are we there yet?

Now are we there?

Yes, oh, yes, Dog, we're there, we are so there.

Yonder Land has always been right next door.

I can hardly wait to see Mom's smiling eyes

and Dad's slimy green skin again.

Now pay attention.

This is map of Yonder Land.

We are here.

Old Uppenchuck is here.

Now, according to my calculations

we should arrive there

at exactly 11:35 tomorrow morning.

Maybe we can stop and buy a present...

No, Dog, no, no, no.

No stops, no presents, no detours.

We're going straight through.

Dog: "You are now leaving Nearburg."

Hmm, good-bye, Nearburg.

Cat?

Yes, Dog?

Are we there yet?

[ disco music playing]

♪ La-la-la, no CatDog in the house ♪

♪ I'm here in my favorite house, me ♪

♪ Got the place all to myself

♪ La, la, la, la, la-la-la

♪ La, la, la...

Hey, CatDog!

We got a special delivery thrashing for you!

Poundage due!

I... ooh...

[ music continues]

Ta-da!

[ grumbling]

Don't you jokers ever knock?

Duh, I think next time we should.

If you're looking for CatDog, they ain't here.

They're looking for their parents in Yonder Land.

Huh?

Well, if we can find CatDog

we can pound them andtheir lousy parents.

[ all laughing]

I wouldn't mind meeting Dog's parents...

Hmm?

So, so... so I could pound them, too!

Cliff: Pound the whole family tree!

[ Greasers laughing]

Ah! Time for a little tanning.

♪ I'm so pretty

♪ Tanning pretty

♪ Pretty and tan...

[ tires squealing]

[ excited panting]

Hello, Son.

Hiya, Cat, old boy.

[ gasps] What the...

Oh, look, Cat...

it's Mommy and Daddy.

Dog, what are you doing?

I can't see the road.

Sorry, Cat.

Oh, hello, Mommy and Daddy.

I missed you so much.

We missed you, too.

Oh, you haven't changed a bit, Dog. [ laughs]

Still as cute as a button.

Oh, and look over there-- it's Cat.

Dog! Do you mind?!

I'm trying to drive here!

Oh, do you boys want to get

some ice cream?

Ice cream, ice cream, I want ice cream!

No, no, Cat's palate is far too discerning.

He'd prefer tuna mousse or a whitefish scone.

Why, thank you very much, Father.

Finally someone in this family

who understands my sophisticated pal...

[ growls]

I'm talking to a sock!

Dog, get those stinking socks out of my face!

[ truck horn honks]

[ screams]

It's okay, Mommy and Daddy.

We can still have ice cream.

Oh, you Mom and Dad, you're incorrigible.

Dog!

[ whispering...]

Cat: Why didn't you do that before we left?

[ toilet flushing]

So that's how those rascals do it.

Oh, that's got to hurt.

I found it riveting.

I hate public restrooms.

Mmm, but the mints are good.

That's not a mint!

Oh, we've wasted enough time here.

We've need to get back on the schedule.

Terrific... a freak parade.

Let's get out of here, Dog.

Stay close.

Hey, you're going the wrong way, man.

The mother ship is this way.

The aliens are bringing back

everyone they've ever abducted.

Cat!

It's theory 421:

Mom and Dad were abducted by aliens

and forced to build lunar igloos

out of bars of intergalactic soap.

Oh, Dog, don't start.

I told you no detours, no sto...

Hey, ow, ow...

Dog: Mother ship, here we come!

Cat: Somebody... stop...

Dog: Hi-ho diggity!

Cat: Dog, this is not

on the itinerary.

Besides, there's no such thing as...

[ zapping and beeping...]

[ all gasp]

[ all gasp]

[ slurping]

[ gulps]

[ bland instrumental music playing]

[ buzzer sounding]

[ all exclaim]

Male airline pilot-like voice: Uh, welcome back to Earth.

Please exit the craft in an orderly manner

and thank you for choosing us for your alien abduction needs.

Daddy! Daddy!

There's Grandma!

Ah, there's my lovin' mama!

How was space?

Oh my gosh, I missed you so much.

How was it? Did they feed you? Are you all right?

Dog: Yoo-hoo, over here.

Mom and Dada CatDog.

Cat, do you see Mom and Dad?

Huh, do you, do you?

Uh, I don't know why we keep coming to earth.

We never find anything unusual.

I told you we're wasting our time.

Maybe they're still inside watching the end of the in-flight movie.

Or having trouble with their seat belts.

Cat: Aah...!

Open up! Help!

Let us out of here!

Dog, we're trapped!

[ gasps]

[ slurping...]

[ laughs]

Oh, that was close.

Maybe they know where Mom and Dad are.

No, Dog, they'll see us!

Whoa, go, go...!

[ Cat yelling...]

Mom!

Dad!

Your little prides and joys are here.

Your cute progenies.

[ whimpering]

This place is giving me the creeps.

[ screams] What, what?!

Hello, Mom, Dad.

Where are you?

Oh, parents?

Parents...

[ Cat groaning and gibbering...]

Gee, Cat, why are you playing around

with the extra-ter-alien spaceman stuff?

We're supposed to be looking for our parents.

I am not playing around, you ninny.

Alien: There's the intruders.

Capture them!

Run, Dog, run!

[ panting and whimpering...]

Surrender, Earth creatures.

Resistance is fuble, fugle... a waste of time.

Get them.

Do something, Dog.

What are you doing?

I'm doing something.

No, no, Dog.

Do something, something!

Uh...

Whoa!

Whoa...

[ beeping]

[ whimpering]

[ Cat and Dog yelling]

[ both groaning]

Um...

[ all yelling...]

Give me that, you ninny!

[ growling]

Zoom... zoom!

Uh, this doesn't look good, Tim.

You're right, Tim, all is lost.

We must abandon ship.

Uh... to the escape pods!

Hey, Cat, looks like your parents search is having a few ups and downs.

[ laughs]

Winslow, thank goodness!

We need your help!

Don't listen to them, little blue friend.

It's an Earth creature trick.

Don't worry, you'll be safe with us.

What are you, nuts?

[ Winslow screams]

Aah...

[ both grunting and groaning]

[ groaning]

Cliff: CatDog?

[ tires squeal, crash]

Where are the brakes on this thing?

[ Dog grunting]

Cat: Terrific.

You just had to get on the ship, didn't you?

Oh, Cat, look at the little fish.

Hello, little fishy.

Forget about the stupid fish.

Get out of here, you little pipsqueak.

Huh?

[ screams]

[ roaring]

[ both scream]

[ electrical crackling]

[ both whimpering]

What is that thing? It's horrible!

Cat, it's theory number 37!

Aah!

Mom and Dad got swallowed

by Bessie, the mysterious lake monster.

We're about to be eaten by theory 37!

Oh, great idea, Cat.

Mom and Dad, here we come.

[ whirring]

Cat: No!

Dog: Whoa!

Open wide, Bessie.

[ gurgling yell]

Wrong way, wrong way!

[ snarls]

We're about to be swallowed!

Whoa...

Duh...

Huh?

Dog: This reminds me of how Dad

used to bounce us around on his tongue.

Duh!

Ow, duh...

This finally explains

why Catdog are so freaky-looking.

Those guys are space aliens from another planet.

We're on another planet?

I wish I had a camera.

Oh, I always knew that pooch was out of this world.

Through the lips and over the gums!

Fear not, Mom and Dad, here we comes!

[ screaming...]

[ Cat groaning, Dog laughing]

Belly slide to the belly!

Hi-ho, Mom and Dad!

[ Cat groaning]

Why me...?

Dog: Why not...?

Why not?

[ coughing and spitting]

Wow...

The majestic abdominal cavity

of Bessie the mysterious lake monster.

Spacious, yet homey.

Mom? Dad? We're here to rescue you

from theory number 37 and take you home!

Huh?

Hmm?

Aha!

I think I hear something.

[ rumbling, squirting loudly]

[ growls]

Dog...

[ sputtering]

Huh?

Mom? Dad?

Oh, there you are!

I have found you at last.

Uh, sorry, Cat.

[ coughing and spitting]

This goes right to the top of my list

of the worst things that have ever happened to me.

[ coughing]

Hmm... I guess they aren't here.

Hey, Cat, it's like a big bubble bath.

Whoa! [ laughing]

[ sizzling]

It's not a bubble bath.

Dog, we're being digested!

It that bad?

Both: Aah!

[ both yelling]

Both: Aah...!

[ sizzling]

[ Cat whimpering...]

Mom?

Dad?

And on the starboard side

you will see Catdog in a demonstration

of the digestion process! [ laughs]

Winslow, you got to get us out of here.

Sorry, the tour is full.

Why don't you try going out the back door?

[ laughs]

What the...

Winslow: Aah! Help, Mommy!

Cat, how are we going to get out of here?

[ retching]

Hairball!

No, had one for breakfast.

No, no, no.

We can make a giant hairball, get inside

and Bessie will hack us out to freedom.

Start shedding!

Grr...

Anchors away!

Hmm?

Come on, Dog.

Let's do it.

[ both grunting...]

[ gags]

[ retching]

Lube: Duh...

I hereby dub this planet, uh...

Planet.

Whoa...!

[ gagging]

[ retching]

[ spits]

[ Cat screaming]

Hey, look...

it's a shooting hairball.

Uh, make a wish.

Hey, that hairball's got CatDog inside.

Let us pursue them with vigor!

Cat: Whoa...!

Cliff: Vigor!

Reminds me how Mom used to wrap us up in hairballs and throw us in the air.

Enough of your silly memories!

How are we going to land this thing?!

[ roaring]

She's... she's breaking up!

She's bre... [ garbled]

[ screams]

Whoa, oh...

Ouch!

[ laughing]

Oh, that was fun!

Are you okay, Cat?

No, I'm not okay.

I just landed on a very sharp rock and...

Aah...!

Dog: Mm-hmm... [ sniffing]

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm...

Yeah, I got something.

Yes... uh-huh...

Effluvium...

Mm-hmm...

[ sniffing]

Mm-hmm... Mm-hmm...

[ sniffing...]

Yes, yes...

[ sniffing...]

No, no... oh.

[ sniffing]

Dog, get away from there!

You don't know what that is!

Sure I do, Cat.

It's theory number 2,001.

Our parents fell down a tree hole

and were captured by a tribe of evil mutant wood-nymphs.

Well, I guess I was wrong.

Nothing in there but red-hot Peruvian fire ants.

[ Cat screaming]

Ow, ow, ow...!

Okay, Dog, that's it!

No more spaceships.

No more lake monsters.

No more evil mutant fire ants!

We are going straight to Yonder Land.

Do you understand?

Okay, Cat.

Stop it! We're going!

Got ya.

Promise me, Dog, no matter what.

No more silly side trips.

No ridiculous detours.

I promise.

Fine. Onward.

Next stop Yonder Land.

Yonder Land here we come.

We are on the road to Yo...

What's this?

"Welcome to Yokelburg.

"The home of happy cats and dogs

living together in peace for 50 years!"

Dog, look at this.

Read it yourself, Bro.

I'm making for Yonder Land.

No, no, Dog, stop, this is amazing.

Cat said no stops.

No amazing detours.

No matter what!

Forget what I said...

Stop!

Whoa...

Whoa...!

[ gasps]

What is it, Cat?

Cat: It's Yokelburg, the home of happy dogs and cats.

Our parents could be here!

No kidding.

Let's go...!

Dog: Yes, it's the only theory that makes sense.

They've got to be here.

Look at that, Cat.

[ Cat yelling...]

[ panting]

Dog: Getting closer.

[ gasps]

[ sighs]

[ voices cheering]

[ laughing]

[ burping]

[ gasp]

[ chuckling]

[ purrs]

Cat, it's the happiest place on Earth.

It's...

It's beyond belief.

Yokelburger: Well, howdy, friend.

[ laughing]

Welcome to Yokelburg.

We all celebrating 50 years of peace and harmony.

Yokelburg dog: You joining the festivivities?

[ spits]

Well, shut my mouth and grease me up.

[ in hillbilly accent]: I sure love going to want to join the whoop-si-do.

[ grunts]

[ chuckling]: If you'll excuse us, uh... gentlemen

we're here looking for our par...

[ bell rings]

The music's starting.

Music?

Well, don't commence the twangings without us 'uns.

Cat [ grunting]: Let them commence.

I mean, co...

Cat: Please, I don't do-si-do, remember?

[ crowd cheering]

Cat, do you see a mom and dad catdog?

[ spits]

I sees it, but I don't believes it.

♪ Well, we used to cuss and fight, but ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more. ♪

♪ We used to scratch and bite, but ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more. ♪

♪ We loved to chase you all about. ♪

♪ We lived to claw your eyeballs out. ♪

♪ We used to cuss and fight, but ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more. ♪

♪ We used to hate cat guts, but ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more. ♪

♪ We used to whoop dog butts, but ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more. ♪

♪ We loved to make you whine and cry. ♪

♪ We longed to see you up and die. ♪

♪ We used to cuss and fight, but ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more.

♪ Ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more.

♪ We used to cuss and fight, but ain't no more. ♪

♪ We used to chomp you on your tail. ♪

♪ We yanked them whiskers till you ailed. ♪

♪ We used to cuss and fight, but ain't no more. ♪

♪ Ain't no more. ♪

♪ We used to cuss and fight, but ain't no more. ♪

[ music ends]

[ crowd cheering]

[ gasps]

It's Mom and Dad.

We've found them at last.

But it, it can't be.

They're, they're country-western singers.

I reckon it's theory number 76.

Dog: One day, Momma and Daddy were a-wandering through the forest.

What an absolutely splendid day.

Right you are, Darling.

Mother: Perfect in every way.

Dog: And they got hit on the head by a big old jaw-rattling tree.

[ father grunts]

Dog: And gosh darn it.

When they woke, they thought they was country singers.

Yee-haw.

That is the silliest thing I've ever heard.

But I have to admit

the eyes don't lie.

I always thought they'd be rich, though.

At least upper-middle-class.

[ sighs]

I guess hillbilly parents are better than none.

[ all spit]

How do I look?

Are my whiskers straight?

I want to make a good impression.

[ chuckling]

Let's a-go tell them their babies are back.

Cat: Say, we could always hit them on the head with another tree

and they might think they were something else.

[ giggling]

It's worth a try.

[ wolf howling in distance]

[ grunts]

Next time we get swallowed, we're going out the front door.

Hey, get a load of this.

Cats and dogs living together?

What's this country coming to?

Lube: Yeah.

Duh... if only there was a clue

to where CatDog might be.

Ah.

[ cheering in distance]

[ bluegrass music playing]

[ crowd chattering and laughing]

Have some home-brewed catnip-arilla, cuz.

Cat: Hmm, now, that's my kind of game.

[ burps]

[ giggles sheepishly]: Oh.

Excuse me.

[ burps loudly]

[ chuckles]

[ clicking]

Cliff: Huh, CatDog's parents, I presume.

[ bottle hitting bridge and rolling]

Shriek, you pound the mom.

I'll pound the dad.

[ moaning]

I will pound the cake.

Ooh, I hope his mother likes me.

I mean, I hope she likes the pounding I give her.

[ cheering]

Well, thank you, friends and neighbors.

Thank you very much.

We appreciate it.

Thank you very much... and thank you.

[ whoops]

[ whistles]

Dog: Oh, Ma, Pa!

Sooey!

Over here, it's us-- look!

Son!

Son, it's you.

You've finally come back.

Yes, Dad, it's me.

I've found you.

[ crowd cheering]

Yeah-hoo!

See, Dog, I told you we'd find them.

And you doubted me, Dog.

Uh, no, I didn't.

But I never gave up hope, like you did.

Cat, I never, uh...

Daddy!

Cat: Give y'all's long-lost boy a big old hug.

Welcome back.

[ giggling]

Dog: Hurry up.

[ laughing]

Father: Lube!

Lube, oh, Lube, you're back.

My baby's come back-- my son, my child, my boy...

My chip off the old block.

Duh... what are you trying to say, Mister?

I'm your daddy!

And you're my little boy.

Huh?

Ladies and gentlemen...

this here's my boy, Lube.

[ cheering]

All right.

Dog, tell me he didn't run... past us.

He ran past us.

Tell me he's not... hugging Lube.

He's hugging Lube.

[ weeping]: But I was so sure it was them.

Does that mean Lube is our brother?

Oh, yeah.

Lube is our brother, uh-huh.

And he's our uncle.

And she's our cousin.

And he's our grandmother.

Really?

No, you numskull.

We're not related to any of these people.

Why did I let you talk me into coming to this place?

I told you we wouldn't find them here.

Imagine me, related to hillbillies.

[ shuddering]

Okay, so much for theory 76.

But there's more where that came from.

Let's put them back where they came from

so they'll be safe.

Ooh, that tickles.

Gee, Pooch, that's too bad.

Yeah, too bad.

We was looking forward to pulverizing you and them

in a double-hitter.

Cat: Well, we're sorry to disappoint you.

That's the one, Pa.

Him-- he burped right up in my little old face.

Lube's father: Hang on a minute.

Did you burp in my pretty little girl's face, boy?

Well, of course I didn't.

Dog: Yes, you did, I even smelled it.

Dog.

[ laughs] Well, hot dog.

Well, you know what that means.

Oh, uh... actually, I'm unfamiliar

with your quaint little customs.

In these here parts, darling, if y'all burp in somebody's face

that means you got marriage on your mind.

[ burps]

Aw, gee, Cat.

I didn't know y'all wanted to get married.

I sure do wish our parents was here.

[ gasps]

Get married?

[ echoing]: Get married?

They's a-going to be a wedding.

Now you gone and did it.

Hey, Brown Eyes, maybe this could be a double wedding.

That's a great idea, Shriek.

Hey, who wants to marry Shriek?

I will.

Marry me.

I'll take her.

I'll split her with you.

[ growling and roaring]

[ giggling]: Aren't you as happy as me, Honey Pie?

[ giggling]

[ gasps]

Let the hitching begin.

Yee-haw.

[ Cat moaning]

[ shrieking]

[ panting]

[ grunts]

Cliff: Psst.

Hey, Cat.

Give her a big smooch for me.

[ laughing]

[ makes kissing noises]

[ Cliff laughing]

Ahh, that reminds me of Dad.

He didn't have any teeth, either.

Minister: Is there's anybody here

who knows a reason why

these here critters should not be hitching?

Dog.

Nope, can't think of a thing.

Dog!

All righty, then.

That's good enough for me.

I now pronounce you cat and...

Winslow: Wait a minute!

I know why these two can't get married.

Oh, thank you.

Winslow, I love you.

They ain't got no ring.

That little blue fellow's right.

Yokelburger: Can't get hitched without a ring.

[ chuckles]: Well, can't have a wedding without a ring.

That's what I... always say.

Maybe some other time.

Besides, we all need to get back on that parent search.

Winslow: However, I just happen to have a few rings right here.

I'll take thisone.

Nice choice.

Winslow: Don't worry, Cat.

I'll bill you.

[ cackles "Here Comes the Bride"]

[ growls]

[ cheering]

Winslow saved the wedding.

Well, all right, Winslow.

Dog, you yapping flea bag.

I don't want to get married, especially to some lousy dog.

[ crowd gasps]

Hey, Cat.

I'ma lousy dog.

Exactly.

And that's why I'm in this mess.

Well, ain't that just like a finicky, fishing

fur-licking feline?

It sure is.

Well, at least we clean ourselves.

Hear, hear-- good point.

Are you a-saying we're dirty?

We don't have to say it.

We can smellit.

[ crowd murmuring and growling]

Yeah, dogs stink.

Cats are lazy.

Mangy mutt.

You hairball-hackers.

Well, you gosh darned cat.

I'm a-restarting this here feud.

[ moans]

No, you ain't, you low-down dirty dog.

Because I'ma-restarting this feud.

[ yells][ growls]

[ snarling]

[ crowd shouting angrily]

You're coming with us!

We claim the cat part!

It's feudin' time again!

[ cheering excitedly]

Yahoo!

[ shouting and cheering]

[ cheering and applause]

We used to get along, but ain't no more.

That's right, you mangy mutt

and we ain't gonna get along ever again!

[ squeals]

Everybody load up your weapons

and wait for my signal.

Yokelburger: Yahoo!

It's feudin' time again!

[ all grumbling excitedly]

[ footsteps thundering]

Pasters aplenty!

Come and get it!

[ slurping loudly]

[ growling]

Stop, boys.

Steady.

Not just yet.

Lousy, trouble-making dog!

Ah, you grumpy, mean old...

dung cat!

[ slurp]

[ gulp]

[ gag]

[ screeching]: Fire!

What in tarnation?!

What is it, Pa?

Hairballs!

[ screaming]

Look out!Look out!

[ whistling]

[ yelling]

[ yelling]

[ chuckles]

Front-row seats!

Ready... aim... hack!

[ all hawking]

Huh? Huh? Huh?

They're coming!

[ crunching]

[ swallowing]

It's a little scratchy at first

but it hits the spot.

[ belches loudly]

Duh... save some for me.

[ grunting and groaning]

[ groaning and grunting]

Hey, boys, we need them spitballs!

Heavy on the spit!

Yes, sir!

[ spits]

[ clangs]

[ spits]

[ all spitting]

Here are your balls, sir.

Thanks, kid.

Better open 'er up a bit.

[ laughing][ laughing]

Grab your balls, boys!

[ gasps]

[ whistles]

[ breaking wind]

[ loud creaking]

Catapult ready!

[ yowling]

[ growling]

Fire!

[ missile whistling]

[ shouting]

[ thunderous crash]

What?!

[ whirring]

[ growling]

[ yowling]

[ angry shouting outside]

[ cats slurping loudly]

I'm all out of ammo!

I'm naked as a jay bird!

Ammo's gone!

I got nothing!

Huh?Huh?

[ belching emptily]

Help.

Well, if'n you want something done right

you gotta go do it yourself!

Chorus: ♪ Well, we used to get along, but ain't no more ♪

♪ Ain't no more

♪ We sang that sappy song

♪ But ain't no more

♪ Ain't no more

♪ We used to smile and be polite ♪

♪ But now we'd really rather fight ♪

♪ We used to get along but ain't no more. ♪

Well, I'll be darned if he gets the jump on me!

♪ The bestest friends you'd ever find ♪

♪ But now I'm whooping your behind ♪

♪ We used to get along, but ain't no more ♪

♪ Ain't no more

♪ Ain't no more

♪ Ain't no more

♪ Ain't no more

♪ Ain't no more

♪ We used to act like friends, but ain't no more ♪

♪ You must have had me hypnotized ♪

♪ But now I'm scratching out your eyes ♪

♪ We used to get along, but ain't no more ♪

♪ Ain't no more

♪ You must have had me hypnotized ♪

♪ But now I'm scratching out your eyes ♪

♪ We used to get along, but ain't no more ♪

♪ Ain't no more

♪ We used to get along

♪ But ain't no more

♪ And we'll fight like cats and dogs forevermore. ♪

[ all yelling]

[ stretchy squeaking]

[ yelling]

Yeow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

[ loud creaking]

[ crash]

[ stringy pinging]

[ all yelling]

Whoa!

Yeow!

Yeow!

[ CatDog yelling]

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, that was bracing!

[ panting]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[ loud cracking]

Ouch.

[ rumbling and cracking]

[ all yelling]

Yar dingers!

[ confused voices shouting]

You d-d-dang dog!

Downright loony, what they is!

Now look what you've done!

Yeah, you!

It's all your fault.

Hey, youse guys shouldn't be fighting yourselves.

It was that freak of nature, CatDog, what caused all this.

Well, I'll be dad-blamed

if the city feller ain't right.

Yeah, let's quit our quibbling and a-quarreling

and get to pounding us some CatDog!

[ all yelling angrily]

[ creature growling]

Well, we got out of that in one piece, hey, buddy?

Doggy?

Old pal?

[ laughs nervously]

Pardon?

Oh, are you talking to me--

the lousy dog that always gets you into trouble?

Now, don't be so hard on yourself, Dog.

Even though everything that has happened to us

was entirely your fault

I... I still blame myself.

Okay, Cat, I forgive you.

Forgive me?!

Oh, so you're blaming menow?

[ laughing]

And I suppose it's my fault

that we're stuck on this log

in the middle of this river?!

Cat, for this I forgive you also.

G...!

Forgive me also?!

You can't...!

Shh, shh, shh, shh!

[ water rushing]

What? What is it? What?!

[ weakly]: Waterfall.

Oh, a waterfall.

Well, who cares ABOUT A WATERFALL!!!!

[ both yelling]

[ sputtering and shouting]

[ giant toilet flushing]

[ metallic clanging and banging]

[ voices babbling]

[ metallic clanging]

[ rumbling]

CatDog: Whoa...!

[ Cat coughing dramatically]

Buddy!

[ gasps]

Cat, look!

It's that place we saw on the news!

What?!

Our parents live here.

Ahh...

Ahh... again.

All right, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

We have to proceed

in a cautious and orderly fash...

Hi ho diggity!

Oh, wow!

Oh, Mom! Dad!

Oh, Mom! Dad!

We're here! We're here![ yipping excitedly]

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Mommy and Daddy!

Ow! Stop it! Please! Please!

[ screeching]

"Old Uppenchuck."

Ah, we've stopped.

Good!

Look, look, Cat!

I bet they're waiting for us

right behind those rocks

with a big "Welcome Home" party

with ice cream cake and balloon animals

and "pin-the-tail- on-the-Mama-Papa"

and mimes!

What are you talk...

Hi, ho, mimes!

What are you talking...?!

Mom and Dad, yay, yay!

Mom, Dad...!

Ta-dah!

Your boys are finally...

here.

[ disappointedly]: Oh...

Cat, they're not here.

For once, I think you're right.

Cat...

Oh, let me guess.

It's on to theory number 6 billion and 52.

No.

Well, no more theories, dog.

Okay.

Don't argue with me!

I won't.

Looking for our parents was a dumb idea.

Right.

Let's just go home.

Go home?!

Did you say "go home"?

But, but, but, but...

what about the rest of your theories?

Theories, theories.

My theories are stupid.

Don't say that, dog.

No!

I mean, well, they aren't all stupid.

Here, like this one, for example

with the Jell-O and the flamingo...

flamingo dancers?

Okay, maybe not that one

but I'm sure there's something here.

Here, let's find one.

Cat, forget it.

I don't want to look anymore.

You mean quit?

You can't quit!

I'm the quitter.

I know.

I wish I was more like you.

No, you don't.

The truth is...

I wish I was more like you.

[ growls]

I wish I had your dogged determination

to chase after something you believe in.

Oh, like garbage trucks?

No, Dog.

I'm talking about...

our parents.

You never gave up hope

that they were out there

and that they do care about us.

Until now.

But I won't let you give up.

Now, we... we may not find them today;

we may not find them tomorrow

or the next day...

What about the day after the next day?

Any day, dog... it doesn't matter.

The point is, someday

we are going to find them...

But no matter what, we are brothers

and we'll always have each other.

[ sniveling]

Oh, cat!

Come here, you!

[ whining and moaning]

But... let's just keep

this little moment of sappiness

to ourselves, okay?

[ loud rumbling]

Sounds like this place is getting ready to blow.

Let's get out of here.

Right behind you, brother who I'll always have

no matter what.

Today, tomorrow, the next day

the day after the next day!

[ panting]

[ screaming]

Cat: Help, help, help!

Stop it!

Let us go, let us go!

At least, let mego.

Oh, please, let any dogs out first!

Help!

Do something, Dog.

Sic him, sic him, sic him.

[ sweetly]: Hi-ho diggity!

Mommy, Daddy!

I finally found my boys.

Oh, what's for dinner?

Are you insane?

It's got four eyes!

Male voice: Well, actually

two of them are mine.

[ gasps]

Slimy, green skin.

Frog: Oh, so I suppose you're too grown up now

to give your old man a hug, huh?

Dog: I'm not, Dad.

Mom's four eyes...

Dad's slimy green skin.

Wait a minute!

You're our parents?

but you're a...

and you, you're a...

not a CatDog.

Dad: Nothing gets past you, does it, genius?

We found you

when you were just a little baby CatDog

right out on that ledge.

Then you're not our parents?

Dad: Well, let's see...

we raised you, fed you, loved you

and made you who you are today.

Dog: Oh, that sounds

like parents to me, Cat.

Then where did we come from?

Well, dear, we really don't know.

Heck, we don't know

where your mother came from, either

but that doesn't matter

because she's your mother

and you're our boys.

And you always

have been.

Mom: Those were such happy times.

[ baby CatDog squawking]

Dad: Okay

uh... let's see...

Oh, forget it.

Dad: ♪ Rock-a-bye, CatDog, on top of mommy's nose. ♪

♪ Two tiny heads, and four sets of toes... ♪

Whee!

Whee!

[ laughing]

Mom: And then came that horrible day...

[ rumbling]

[ screaming]

Hang on, baby cakes.

[ gagging]

Hold on, hold on.

[ screaming]

[ echoing]: No!

And we've been searching all over the world

for you boys ever since.

See, Cat, I told you.

But the strangest things kept happening to us.

We was frozen in an Arctic glacier;

marooned on an island of rabid weasels;

abducted by aliens;

swallowed by a giant lake monster;

captured by a tribe of evil mutant wood nymphs;

and we even thought

we was country and western singers for a while.

♪ Oh, we used to fuss and fight ♪

♪ but ain't no more

Both: ♪ We used to scratch and fight, but ain't no more. ♪

I'm going to scratch you.

Mom: Oh, Dog.

Oh, for the love of chub. Oh, for the love of chub.

Daddy!

Son!

You kept it!

Terrific!

Break out the tissues.

This is going to be a wet one.

Cat: Oh, hi-ho, parents.

Oh, CatDog, I found you-- what the...

[ screams]

A little help here.

Dog: Winslow, we'd like you to meet

our mom and dad.

Pleased to meet you.

Charmed, I am sure.

Your parents?

You mean, youse actually found them?

[ sarcastically]: That's just great!

Now I suppose you're going to be one big, happy family

living in your cozy little cave.

What about me?

What about Winslow?

My life is nothing

without a CatDog to harass.

Don't worry, Winslow

you can move in with us.

What are you, nuts?

Me live in a stinkin' cave?

I don't need CatDog that bad.

I'm out of here.

Oh, and by the way, I found some friends of yours

that were looking for youse.

See you!

[ cackling]

Lookee what we found here.

Now you're all going to pay

for starting us to feuding

and wrecking our town.

Yeah, yeah!

[ all grumbling]

Yeah, and where's your parents?

I been waitin' a long time to meet them.

Mom: Boys, aren't you going to introduce us

to your little friends?

[ stuttering]

[ screaming]

Dog: Hey, everybody, this is our mom and dad.

Hello.

Dad: Hiya.

I wish that someday

I too will be reunited with my parents.

My goodness gracious at the ignorance.

Hello, Mrs. CatDog.

I'm Shriek, but I suppose

Dog's already told you all about me.

No, never mentioned you.

What are you waiting for?!

Let's pound them.

Yeah, we got them outnumbered.

Mom: Oh, my.

[ gasps]

[ Cliff laughing evilly]

Looks like youse got nowhere to go.

Lube: Yeah, you're at the end

of the finish.

Dad: Come on, you want a piece of me?

Don't worry, Mom and Dad

we'll protect you.

We sure will.

Go get them, Dog.

I'll wait here.

Good boy.

[ Dog snarling]

[ rumbling]

Trapped like a family of rats.

Mom: Oh, what do we do now?

Yeah, what are you going to do now?

I think I know.

All right, everybody hold on.

All right!

What a guy won't do for his family.

That about wraps it up, folks.

[ gasping]

[ roaring]

Cat: Well, Dog, there's one thing that's apparent.

Dog: No, two.

♪ Parents...

♪ oh, we've got parents

♪ Small, slimy, big and grimy parents. ♪

Dad: ♪ Though we might seem strange to you... ♪

Mom: ♪ We are parents through and through... ♪

Dog: ♪ I bet yours are weirdoes, too... ♪

Cat: ♪ Because they're parents.

♪ Parents... oh, we're just parents ♪

Mom: ♪ Proud, loving, nagging, hugging parents ♪

♪ First I cook them up some grub ♪

♪ Climb those stairs and in the tub! ♪

♪ Hurry up, for the love of Chub ♪

♪ We're your parents!

Dog: Hi-ho diggity!

Cat: What a dream!

Mom: ♪ I've got big feet...

Dad: ♪ And I'm green, we're your parents ♪

♪ Simply parents

♪ We've got parents!

Oh, Mama!

Oh, Pop!

♪ Will this love fest never stop? ♪

♪ Did I mention we're your ever-loving parents? ♪

♪ Crazy, folly, goofy laughy, wiggly parents. ♪

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

♪ They found some weirdoes, found some nuts ♪

♪ Pussycats, goofballs, hillbilly mutts ♪

♪ They looked real high and they looked real low ♪

♪ and they looked in places

♪ where the sun don't go

♪ CatDog

♪ CatDog♪

♪ CatDog

♪ CatDog♪

♪ It's been a long road

♪ for the little CatDog

♪ One fine day, with a splash and a smack ♪

♪ CatDog finally did come back

♪ Thankful for everything that they had ♪

♪ A huge, hairy mom, and a little green dad ♪

♪ CatDog

♪ CatDog♪

♪ CatDog

♪ CatDog♪

♪ Alone no more is the little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog

♪ CatDog♪

♪ CatDog...

[Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]