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He got the looks and I got the donuts.
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This is local cable news award
-nominated reporter Dale Davis coming to
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from the Gilroy Pier.
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With me is Mayor Ron Donaldson with an
earth -shattering announcement. Mr.
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Mayor. For years, this pier has been an
eyesore, a gathering place for low
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-life, disease -carrying rodents and
skateboarders.
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That's why next week when I'm re
-elected as mayor, I'm going to bulldoze
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pier and replace it with condos for the
city's elite.
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Like me.
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Yeah, tear it down.
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Don, don't you get it? Ron is going to
bulldoze the pier.
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Yeah, it's about time.
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Your donut shop is on the pier.
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Darn right it is.
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Don, your brother is going to tear down
your donut shop.
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Oh, crab cakes, you froze again.
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Thanks, guys. What happened?
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You froze when we told you that your
brother was going to tear down your
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shop.
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Wait.
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Don't tell me, dude, you won't believe
what happened. Yes, no, maybe. Don't
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forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy?
Someone could be listening to us. Wait,
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don't tell me. Not again.
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Would you just calm down? Is there a
problem?
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Let's get a pizza.
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And then we'll act like nothing ever
happened. Calm down. It's only Tuesday.
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We'll get a pizza.
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And hope that no one overheard us
talking. Calm down. Cause I'm a genius.
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It's only Thursday.
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And by tomorrow, we'll have everything
just fine.
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I can't believe they're going to tear
down Don's donut.
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Yeah, I'm so mad I could kick something.
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I mean, we've had a million great
memories there. Great people, good
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Spanx! Okay, Don's is like a second home
to me.
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Interesting fact, I was actually born
there.
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Sure he was.
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Another interesting fact, I was born in
a restaurant too.
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A sushi place while my parents were
vacationing in Japan.
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Check it out.
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You don't feel Japanese.
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Luth, that doesn't even make any sense.
Besides, I'm not Japanese. I was just
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born there.
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Point is, Don's means a lot to us, so we
gotta do something.
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Because if that stinking mayor thinks
he's gonna tear down our hangout, he's
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gonna have to tear me down with it.
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I admire the passion.
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Long live Don!
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That's right, man! You sure about this,
Luth?
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Yeah, bro, definitely, okay? I've seen
some hippies do it in a movie one time.
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They chained themselves to a tree to
save some dumb old rainforest.
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Long live God!
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I don't think you thought this one
through.
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Hey, I'm Ron Donaldson.
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Don't forget to vote.
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Donaldson for mayor. Appreciate your
support.
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Hey, Ron Donaldson, how you doing? Hey,
pass these out to your friends, would
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ya?
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Hello. Donald. Hello, Ronald.
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Saw your announcement on the TV box.
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You think you can tear down my shop and
do whatever you want just because you're
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smart and good -looking?
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Well, I can't help it if I'm photogenic.
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Um, Mr. Mayor, with all due respect,
nobody is going to vote for a guy who's
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going to tear down the pier.
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Yeah, of course they will.
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I'm the only one running.
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You,
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sir, are a butt -swagger.
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You guys gotta help me out!
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What do you want us to do, Don?
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00:04:04,740 --> 00:04:08,520
Well, I thought since you're the most
popular skaters in town, maybe one of
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could run for mayor.
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Don's idea was nuts, but it was
possible. In Gilroy, there's a law that
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16 -year -old kid can run for mayor.
We've got all sorts of crazy laws.
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For instance, it is illegal to eat corn
on Sundays.
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You're not allowed to swear at a fish.
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Clowns are forbidden from playing the
violin.
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Point is, someone needed to save Don's
donuts, and I was just the guy for the
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job.
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Don, your troubles are over, because I'm
running for mayor!
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No offense, but I was kind of hoping
it'd be him.
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Yeah, bro, let me take this one.
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This whole chaining yourself to the
garbage can was great and all, but you
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always think things through all the way.
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What are you talking about, Cap? Always
think things through.
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Okay, point taken.
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00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:05,880
Attention, everyone.
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Zeke has an announcement to make.
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That's right, everybody. I'm going to
run for mayor and save Don.
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00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:21,440
Hey, I'm Zeke. Vote for me. Hey, I'm
Zeke. Vote for me.
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Here you go, ladies.
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Don't forget to vote on Tuesday, and my
number is on the back.
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What? Just in case you want to talk
politics.
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Now, a message from your mayor.
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John, Ron's got a commercial.
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Hi, I'm Mayor Ron Donaldson with an
important message for you, the Gilroy
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public. Now, I'm not one to badmouth my
opponent, but Zeke Falcone is a
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despicable person. Just ask one of his
closest friends.
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In third grade, Zeke Falcone stole my
fish sticks.
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You hear that? My opponent is a thief.
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00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:03,280
Sure, yeah, it's true. I mean, he... He
traded me half of his sandwich, but he
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00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,600
didn't even bother to cut the crust off.
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That bus waxer's lying. I did cut the
crust off.
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Gilroy, do you want a monster like Zeke
as your mayor?
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I don't think so.
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I'm Ron Donaldson, and I approve this
message.
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He's Kojo against us? He's fighting
dirty.
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And I say we fight filthy.
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No shadows for a week?
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Actually, I was just thinking we'd make
our own ad.
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All right, I'll work.
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Hello. I'm Zeke Falcone, and I'm running
for mayor.
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Leave now, kid.
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Anyway, a lot of nasty things have been
said about me lately. But now, after a
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nice talk with his mom, Kojo's ready to
set the record straight.
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I'm not saying anything.
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Oh, Mom!
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Okay, okay.
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After further consideration, I lied.
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Zeke traded me fair for my fish sticks.
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And he did cut the crust off.
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There you have it. So cast your vote
tomorrow for Zeke Falcone.
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00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,160
Now, since we still have some time left
in our commercial, my associate will
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smash some things with a sledgehammer.
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I'm Zeke Falcone, and you better believe
I approve this mess.
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Well, everybody, the results are almost
in. I just want to say we did some good
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campaigning. We worked hard, had some
fun, and hopefully we'll pull out a win
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and save Don's.
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Bro, so I was wondering, you know, if
you win this thing, if you can put me in
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charge of something.
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Yeah, you name it, bro.
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Wow. Director of bulldozers.
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Well, it's just because you have a
license to drive heavy machinery doesn't
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it's a good idea. Do you remember what
happened last time?
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00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:01,590
Yeah, my bad.
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00:08:01,790 --> 00:08:05,810
Sorry, Luth, no bulldozers, but I'll
tell you what. If I win, I'll make you
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deputy mayor.
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00:08:07,810 --> 00:08:09,490
That sounds important.
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00:08:09,850 --> 00:08:14,190
Hey, everyone, they're announcing the
results on the TV box. And in a record
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turnout for Gilroy, dozens of voters
cast their ballots for your new mayor,
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Falcone. Oh, you did it, you're better.
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You're better.
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More important.
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Holy crap, Case, I'm the mayor.
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I even get to wear the mayor's hat.
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And, as promised, I made Luther my
deputy mayor.
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Why? Do I get a hat?
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No. You get a sash.
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Oh, there you go. Sweet.
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00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,460
Do you know what deputy mayors get to
do?
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00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,480
Diddly. No, no, seriously, it actually
says that.
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I didn't even know that was a real word.
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Bang.
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I know what Mayor Zeke said.
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Oh, Luther, don't touch the bulldozers,
okay? You never think things through. Go
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ahead and do diddly.
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00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:50,110
Well, now, I am thinking things through.
And that bulldozer is a safety hazard.
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Someone needs to move it off the pier.
And I nominate me.
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00:10:01,270 --> 00:10:07,270
As mayor, I'm making a few new laws for
our great city.
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00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:11,850
First, I'm adding a new day to the
weekend called Smatter Day.
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00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:16,910
Second, bus waxers are forbidden within
city limits.
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00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:24,090
And finally, my most important new law.
I'm declaring Don's Donut a place of
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00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:25,230
historic awesomeness.
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00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:32,490
If anyone lays a finger on this place,
they will get ten years in jail.
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00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:36,730
And now, I will sign it into law.
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so that Don's will stand forever.
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00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,540
Wow. Luther's done some knuckle -headed
things, but this takes the cake.
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I run for mayor so I can save Don's from
being destroyed, and Luther plows into
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00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,120
it with a bulldozer.
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00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,560
Everybody remain calm.
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00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,640
Chrissy, help me get Don out of the
rubble.
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00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:35,280
I'm not doing that job.
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00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:36,920
It's rude.
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00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,420
Okay, Don, I promise I'll find a way to
fix this.
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00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:46,040
Well, Mayor Zeke, if I'd known this was
how you were going to save Don, I would
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00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,040
have voted for you myself.
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00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,820
Let me know when you're ready to resign.
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00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:52,740
Bro!
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00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,180
Bro!
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00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,780
Oh, come on, bro, they're locking me up!
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I'm too pretty for jail!
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00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,240
Rolling a bulldozer down the pier.
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00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:10,460
Didn't see how that might be a problem.
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00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,500
Maybe I didn't think things all the way
through.
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00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:18,780
Exactly. You never do, which is why I
said absolutely no bulldozers.
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00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,500
But I remember that sort of being like a
gray area.
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00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,640
It was never a gray area.
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00:12:23,860 --> 00:12:24,860
All right, fine.
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00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,680
We'll say it's both our faults.
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00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,080
Good thing I got a best bro as a mayor
and get me out of here, right?
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00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,720
I'm sorry. I just passed a lot of
things.
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00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:36,360
If someone wrecks Don's, they go to
jail. I don't know if I can undo this.
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00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,320
Come on, bro. There's got to be some
loophole.
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00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,580
Well, you find one.
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00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:42,800
I'm all for it.
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00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,460
Look, here's some jerky. I'll be back.
I've got to go deal with this Don
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00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:47,460
situation.
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00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:50,900
But how long is that going to take?
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00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:57,680
Great, so I wreck one historic landmark,
and you leave me in jail to rot.
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00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:01,180
Okay, well, I'm going to be fine in here
all by myself.
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00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:03,630
No.
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00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:05,950
All right, fish.
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00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:08,030
I like to keep this place tidy.
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00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:13,190
So you drag any dirt on my side of the
cell, and I'm going to use your face to
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00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:14,190
clean it up.
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00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:20,970
What if I have to use the potty on your
side?
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00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:22,310
You got your own.
208
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,600
This is bad. All right, I got to find a
way out of here.
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00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,860
Who are you talking to? I'll tell one.
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00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:43,980
Hey,
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00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:48,620
I don't get it.
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00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,980
There's never been a toll booth in this
parking lot before?
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00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,660
Exactly. Everybody shops at the Gilroy
Galleria, and we're going to charge them
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00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:57,720
two bucks to park here in order to raise
enough money to rebuild your shop.
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00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:02,280
Wow. We can do that? Why not? I'm the
mayor. I can do anything.
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00:14:03,699 --> 00:14:04,860
Okay, here comes a car.
217
00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:06,340
Let me show you how it's done.
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00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:12,180
That'll be two bucks.
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00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,460
See? See if you got it.
220
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:17,900
Two dollars a car?
221
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,300
Yeah, two dollars a car.
222
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:20,619
Got it.
223
00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:23,880
Okay, good luck. I'm going to go up the
late feet of the library to 50 bucks a
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00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:24,880
day.
225
00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:31,180
That'll be two dollars.
226
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:32,460
Two dollars?
227
00:14:32,730 --> 00:14:35,430
That's ridiculous, Julio. Sorry. New
city policy.
228
00:14:35,650 --> 00:14:37,850
And don't think you're getting away
without taking your money.
229
00:14:39,070 --> 00:14:40,070
Huh?
230
00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:43,130
Hey, I'm not the bad guy here. I'm just
doing my job.
231
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:48,290
And you are doing a mighty fine job at
that.
232
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:52,170
Thank you.
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00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:09,590
Fucker, are you fish?
234
00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:13,110
Stop conversating!
235
00:15:15,690 --> 00:15:16,690
Sorry.
236
00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:22,010
So, uh... What'd you do wrong?
237
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:25,510
Nothing. I was at my job waxing butts.
238
00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:28,870
You're a butt waxer? Yeah.
239
00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:30,270
Over at the high school.
240
00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:33,190
I was arrested under one of the new
mayor's stupid laws.
241
00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:37,170
So you got thrown in jail for being an
actual...
242
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,440
Bus waxing.
243
00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:42,500
You think that's funny? No, sir.
244
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:46,380
You wanted to see me, Luther?
245
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:52,200
Oh, look, I will do anything to get out
of here, okay? Look, he won't help me.
246
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:53,880
I'm listening.
247
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:57,620
You again?
248
00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:59,700
You've been through here 20 times today.
249
00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:05,200
Oh, yeah. I was just hitting up the day
-old cell at Cheese Depot.
250
00:16:06,830 --> 00:16:08,030
Just give me my two bucks.
251
00:16:16,890 --> 00:16:18,910
So, Don, how we doing? Good.
252
00:16:19,130 --> 00:16:20,130
Almost out of money.
253
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:22,290
What?
254
00:16:22,790 --> 00:16:26,090
You've been giving the money away? Don,
you're supposed to be collecting it.
255
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:32,010
Dale Davis, coming at you live from the
slightly terrifying Gilroy County Jail
256
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:33,490
with some important breaking news.
257
00:16:33,690 --> 00:16:34,750
Former Mayor Ron.
258
00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:40,020
I have it on good authority that Zeke
Falcone was never eligible to be mayor
259
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:41,440
Gilroy. It's true, Dale.
260
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:47,020
See, there's a law that says our mayor
must be a Gilroy -born citizen.
261
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,900
And what's your point, disgraced Deputy
Mayor Waffles?
262
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:52,760
Well, Zeke wasn't born in Gilroy. He was
born in Japan.
263
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,960
Consider this reporter shocked.
264
00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:56,940
What are you doing?
265
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:01,160
You heard it here first, folks. Zeke
Falcone must step down as mayor, and all
266
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,460
his laws are hereby revoked.
267
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:05,040
I, for one, will miss Smatterdays.
268
00:17:05,530 --> 00:17:08,750
This also means I can continue my plan
of tearing down the pier.
269
00:17:10,069 --> 00:17:10,550
You
270
00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:18,910
did
271
00:17:18,910 --> 00:17:19,910
good, kid.
272
00:17:22,550 --> 00:17:23,550
Here's your money.
273
00:17:29,230 --> 00:17:32,510
Well, guess I'm out of here, you lousy
bus waxer.
274
00:17:35,509 --> 00:17:36,930
Have a nice life.
275
00:17:37,150 --> 00:17:38,150
Hey!
276
00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:39,870
All the laws changed.
277
00:17:40,870 --> 00:17:41,890
I'm out of here, too.
278
00:17:43,590 --> 00:17:44,590
Alrighty,
279
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:49,910
we'll start by bulldozing the rest of
this place.
280
00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:53,510
I want my condo to have a nice, clean
view of the ocean.
281
00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:57,050
Ron, dude, you are out of control.
282
00:17:57,570 --> 00:18:00,730
You know, it's one thing to mess with
your brother, but to turn my best friend
283
00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:01,750
against me, that's low.
284
00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:06,490
Yeah. You really crossed the line this
time. For your next birthday, don't
285
00:18:06,490 --> 00:18:07,670
expect any donut cologne.
286
00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:09,970
Or the donut on a rope.
287
00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:11,610
That's good.
288
00:18:11,770 --> 00:18:12,770
Whatever.
289
00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:19,550
Oh. And since you're not the mayor
anymore, I guess this puppy belongs to
290
00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:24,050
Not so fast!
291
00:18:25,490 --> 00:18:29,170
Article 37B of the Gilroy Bylaws states
that if a mayor is kicked out of office,
292
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,910
his deputy mayor takes over.
293
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:34,660
with the sash, suckers.
294
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,840
I'm mayor, baby! Yeah!
295
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,280
Woo!
296
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,520
Wait, wait. You did all this just so you
could be mayor?
297
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:47,760
Oh, no, of course not.
298
00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:49,020
Get it saved on.
299
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:50,720
Check this out.
300
00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:53,640
Should be enough money to fix this place
up, yeah?
301
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:55,020
Where'd you get all that?
302
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,580
Your brother Ron paid me top dollar to
rat out V.
303
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,120
What? Wait.
304
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,160
Thanks for the money.
305
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,620
Brother! Bro, you did it.
306
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,100
Awesome, man!
307
00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:13,420
Now aren't we tossing through?
308
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:15,300
Mayor Butter?
309
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,320
You may.
310
00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:18,580
So,
311
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:25,400
in the end, I was mayor for five hours
and twelve minutes. And it turns out
312
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,520
Luther's parents won't let him be mayor
at all. But, until he names a
313
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,060
replacement, he's having fun messing
with some heavy machinery.
314
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:32,480
Okay, bro.
315
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:33,940
I'm ready to get down now.
316
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:45,580
All right, bro.
317
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:46,880
Take a pizza break.
318
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:48,500
Okay, I'll get it.
25077
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