Original subtitles

Big news in Gilroy. Two awesome local skaters were written up in Skater Today

magazine. Wait, really?

That's weird, because we were written up in there, too.

I was talking about us, Luke.

Yeah, sure you were.

Anyway, it was a big deal, so Luke went ahead and framed the cover.

Luke,

why does the frame say, Dave and Judy and eternal love?

I got the frame for my mom's wedding.

That works. So, since we've been racking up so much hardware lately...

We thought it deserved its own space.

Behold, the wall of butt -kickery.

Hey, fig licker! You forgot to pick me up after my writing lesson!

Oh. Was that today?

I had to walk home three miles.

Through the cemetery, around the cannery, and past both dumps. Knock me

can break your face.

Don't worry.

Shatterproof glass, steel -reinforced door.

This place is totally ginger -proof.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, you forgot one thing.

I still have the garage door opener.

Oh, no! The wall of my jiggery!

Oh, I'm going to enjoy this.

Told you it was Ginger Prince.

Stop by anytime.

Wait, don't tell me. Dude, you won't believe what happened. Yes, no, maybe.

Don't forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy? Someone could be listening to us.

Wait, don't tell me. Not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a problem?

Let's get a pizza.

We'll act like nothing ever happened. Calm down. It's only Tuesday. We'll get

pizza. And hope that no one over...

Luke, who's that?

We have a meeting with our skate rep in three minutes.

No good.

No.

And what's your brother Roy doing here?

Oh, well, my parents went to the water park for the day, so I got to watch Roy.

He's got his mashed potatoes in his video game, so he's fine. You've got an

neck. Yeah, well, you're my brother, so you've got the same ugly neck.

Ha! Hey, Luke, just chill out, okay? We can't look like Jack Nozzles in front of

Eddie. Okay.

What's shaking? It's the faces of riot skates!

What's up?

What's up?

Ew, his pits are leaking.

Can it?

Sorry, can't hear you. I don't speak butt mouth.

What's with the little kid in the cage there?

Supposed to be having a meeting. Yeah, let's just ignore him and get our meat

on. Okay, meat on!

Now, I got some big news for you. Remember how I told you I would get you

on TV?

Well, Skate TV saw your magazine spread and they want you guys on one of their

new shows.

What?

I got a meeting with you guys set up with Desi McCarthy this afternoon. So I

need you guys to make a good impression.

Not a bad impression, but a good impression.

Don't blow it.

Eddie, we're pros now. We'll be totally chill.

I'll give you a mashed potato fight. Miss me, ugly Nick!

It's on!

Will is the kid for the meeting.

What up, D &L?

What's up, Desi? Come on in, guys. Come on in. Take a seat.

Listen, I am so psyched to finally meet you guys. I'm seeing your names

everywhere. You two can do no wrong.

Sit on the lamp.

Uh, well, Desi, we just have to say we are huge fans of Skate TV.

Rock on!

Listen, I have a new show that you two would be killer for. It's called Skate

Crypt. We'll follow you to your bedrooms, your favorite spots, all your

hangouts. It is totes cool.

Anyway, here's the question. You guys have siblings, right? Because it would

rock to have them on the show, too.

But she wants Ginger and Roy on the show?

That's a bad idea. We're like sharks and zebras, okay? We just don't get along.

Which is why we had to shut this down quick.

Nope, no siblings. Not at all.

Weird sauce. I thought you had a brother and sister.

Flying solo, Des.

Yeah,

it says right here, Ginger and Roy, so... Oh, them.

Them.

Listen, we can't wait to get them on camera and hear what they have to say

you guys. I mean, they must, like, super love you.

This is unbelievable.

Ginger and Roy are going to ruin our shot at being on Skate TV. What are we

going to do?

I hate to say this, but we're going to have to start doing some serious sucking

up.

Hey, Ginge.

Let's bake some pies downstairs and have space to bake an extra one.

Blueberry, I don't know if you like...

Wait. Blueberry is your favorite.

What's in here? A rat trap?

What's your angle?

Angle? What kind of brother do you think I am? Just enjoy your pie.

Okay, you're not buying it. So some Skate TV people are coming down

It's not a big deal. They may ask a few questions about me. But to help you out,

I wrote up a few things for you to say.

I have several heroes.

Gandhi. Lincoln.

And my brother, Zeke.

You've got to be kidding me.

I'm not reading this garbage.

Beat it.

Oh, and by the way, this just happened.

Ginger?

Yeah. How do you think with Roy go?

Well, my bribe, it really didn't work.

Hey, Roy, buddy!

Get lost!

Oh, come on, Roy. Can you put the video game down for a second?

Get lost!

You're funny. Okay.

Give me the controller.

Do not mess with that kid's video games, okay? He gets

freaky strong.

We're hosed.

Ron and Ginger are going to make us look like idiots on national TV.

Too bad we can't pick our own brother and sister.

Maybe we can, Luth.

Maybe we can.

Where is everybody?

We put up flyers all over town.

Hey, Grubner, what are you doing with all our flyers? Ripping them down? I can

let any other girls audition with my little leaky poop. No, no, no, no.

there's no way you can be my sister. You're not even legally allowed to call

house anymore. That's just a speed bump on the highway to love.

Wait a minute.

You need a sister who's nuts about you, right?

And Grubner?

He's as nutty as they come.

All right, Grubner.

You got the part.

I'm gonna go shave my leg.

Oh, unless you want me au naturel.

Just be here at 3 .30.

We've got a ginger. Now we just need a really good actor for Roy.

I'm about to say actor.

Cornelius Jonesworth, Master Thespian at your service.

Coach, are you an actor?

Three years training at the Gilroy Academy of Performing Arts. Thank you

much. Okay.

You might recognize this scene from Death of a Skateboarder.

You may take my wheels, my

trucks, my sticky tape, but you will never...

Take my soul, for I am danger.

Watch out!

Whoa, he's good.

Yeah, but he's supposed to play your little brother.

Oh, we could be half -brothers. Got the same chin.

Fine. Tojo, you're in.

Come here.

Ready, Kojo?

You gotta do my vocal exercises.

Me, me, me, me, me!

Hello.

My name is Roy Waffles.

And I do adore my big brother, Luter.

It was great. It's just, uh, it's Luter, not Luter.

My script says Luter.

And as a serious actor, I never go off script.

You know, bro, this plan may be a little off the wall, but with a little luck, I

think we can pull it off. Oh, yeah.

Just as long as Ginger and Roy don't find me.

Out.

Oh, it is not what it looks like. Really?

Because it looks like you're trying to replace us on your skate show.

Oh.

Yeah, well, then it's exactly what it looks like.

Oh, I can't wait. I'm going to take you down in front of millions of people.

Game over.

Bro, bro, I'm scared, okay? Ginger and Roy are in there plotting against us

right now. Don't worry, bro. It's going to work.

What?

Okay, so we messed up yesterday.

We didn't want you guys to embarrass us on Skate Crib, so we tried to replace

you.

I know, it was dumb. Yeah, welcome to Dumbsville, population two.

So we talked it over, and if you guys still want to be on the show, you can.

Really?

Oh, I'm going to show them your ugly naked baby photos.

And I'm telling them you sleep with a nightlight to keep away the boogeyman.

Look, okay, go ahead.

All right, Weenis, there's nothing wrong with going 16 years without a boogeyman

attack.

Oh, look, we got to go. Oh.

We're setting up in the driveway.

Showtime, baby.

You're getting slammed.

Interview trailer.

I'm first.

Will you turn, shorty?

Here's a few things you're going to need for the next couple hours.

Water.

Video game. You bozos are making a huge mistake.

Sorry, Shrimpsicle.

Couldn't let you guys ruin this for us. We'll swing back around after the shoot.

Welcome to Skate Cribs. I'm your host, Desi McCarthy, coming at you from

California. What up, G -Town?

Today we are kicking it with the hottest new skaters at NorCal. Give it up for

Zeke and Luther.

Just chilling and grilling, Desi. G -Town!

Now, before we see their rockin' dig, let's meet their rockin' sis.

Hey, everyone.

This is my half -brother, Roy.

As you can tell, we have similar tins.

Yeah, uh -huh, you guys are practically twins.

Skaters, TV hosts, lend me your ears and I will tell you the story of a man

whose greatness cannot be measured by mere earthly devices.

I'm speaking, of course, of my brother, Loomer. Luther.

Luther. Luther.

Not going down the way it was supposed to, Roy. We've got to get out of here.

Bam, bam, die, fuck, I'm zombie, die! Oh, I can't think.

Shut that thing off.

Give me...

That!

You want it?

Go get it.

My ring!

Now, Zeke, let me meet your sister, Ginger.

Oh, Desi, I love my brother. I love, love, love, love, love him.

All right, all right. Thanks.

Yeah, I can tell these two are close.

Very. I don't even know where his single spot is.

Okay, that's enough family time.

And here we are at Casa J. Luther.

Let me tell you a little bit about how I roll.

First stop, my very own gravy fountain.

And turkey legs.

Salty. What is this?

Hot shot young skater Luther Waffles still plays with baby dolls?

No, I don't.

It's not mine.

I don't play with dolls.

Oh, I beg to differ.

Dude, what's going on?

I have no idea.

Hey, Skate TV, this is Ramps, the sweetest spot in town. This is where we

hard and we chill hard.

I love a deep couch.

Yeah, and after we relax on the couch, you like to go over to the fridge and

a nice, refreshing clam juice.

You guys know how to party.

I smell a ginger.

You know what? Forget this stuff. You want to know something about Zeke and

Luther? We're going to show you guys some skating.

All right, hot shot.

Camera's rolling.

That's it.

Oh,

wipe out city. Do not try that at home.

I knew it. All right, Luther. So listen, this is a show about pro skaters. I'm

hoping that you can break us off something a little bit better.

Let's see it.

Bro, be careful.

Cut. Okay, guys, I don't know what is going on, but could you try to stay on

your boards, please? Come on. All right, guys, you're killing me out here.

People.

Look, maybe we should call it a day, okay? There's no telling what she's

to do next. That's why we have to get into my room. It's the only place that's

ginger -proof.

And I have the remote this time.

Look, I still have a bad feeling about this.

Like that time I ate that cottage cheese I found under my couch?

Welcome, Vig.

Come on in.

Hey, Skate TV. This is my new pad.

After a long day of skating, it's a great place to hang and relax and know

you're free from annoying little pets.

We got a lot of great stuff, like the monkey.

Check this out.

The wall of butt kickery.

Ooh, nice.

Oh, you haven't even seen the best part.

Ginger, how did you do this? I have the remote.

They sell them at the store, genius.

That, and a couple hours with a screwdriver, voila.

Hey, ugly neck, I'm going to need some new batteries soon.

Hey, who are you two, and how do you know Zeke and Luther?

Desi, let me introduce myself.

I'm Ginger Falcone, Zeke's real sister. And you don't know that because I've

been trapped in the cage with Luther's real brother.

They hired phonies to make themselves look cool.

That is totes uncool.

We're not the bad guys. They're bad.

Okay, they make us do bad things. Guys.

Not a good day for riot skates, Eddie. What is going on here? Your poser skater

friends over here have totes embarrassed themselves.

Oh, guys.

If we can't count on you for a simple TV fluff piece, then I'm afraid we're

going to have to pull your sponsorship.

No, no, no.

Yes. We're totes uncool. I'm going to faint. What do we do?

What do we do?

Yeah, and guys, one more thing.

You've been got!

That's right, boys.

You're on State TV's hidden camera show, You've Been Got.

What?

Wait, so you guys set all this up so we could look like jerks on national

TV?

Yeah. That?

We made it on a You've Been Got. It's one of our favorite shows.

All the best skaters have been on it, okay? Like Tony Hawk, P -Rod. They even

got Tiki Delgado to punch a clown. And the craziest part about being on the

show, everybody was in on it. Even I was in on it.

No, you weren't. Okay, I wasn't.

Oh, congrats, Baskin and Young Man Baskin.

Oh, my God.

Now that we're not brother and sister anymore, we don't have to hide our true

feelings. Goodbye, brother.

Thanks for doing the show, Rensicle. Are you kidding?

Punking my brother on national TV?

It was a no -brainer.

I did get a little worried when he locked us in the cage, but it all worked

Well, you guys got us good.

The clam juice, the tripwire.

So, did you ever have any idea something was up?

I knew something wasn't right when I saw those dolls in Luther's room.

Um, we didn't put any dolls in Luther's room.

I was just holding him for a friend.

I'm going to go home now. I've already beaten this game

twice. All right, let me just find my board.

Ah, ham cakes. My board's under the car.

Thanks, Bill, bro.