All language subtitles for zeke_and_luther_s03e03_two_guys

Is there anything you want to tell our
friends today?

Funny.

It's like you put tape over his mouth so
that he wouldn't spill the beans about

a little something that just happened.
Ow!

Chihuahua! Wait, did you say that this
thing is perhaps on the huge side? Oh,

is huge -antic times a million.

What's this?

Why would Riot Skates, our sponsor, give
us a keychain? That's odd.

They bought us a brand -stinking nuke!

Ask what I'm talking about.

I love you.

Don't tell me, dude, you won't believe
what happened. Yes, no, maybe. Don't

forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy?
Someone could be listening to us. Wait,

don't tell me. Not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a
problem?

Let's get a pizza.

And then we'll act like nothing ever
happened. Calm down. It's only Tuesday.

We'll get a pizza.

And hope that no one overheard us
talking. Calm down. Cause I'm a genius.

It's only Thursday.

And by tomorrow we'll have everything
just fine.

Okay. Now, before we take our sweet new
ride for a spin, I think we should set

some rules.

What do you mean?

Well, this is obviously the coolest
thing we've ever owned, so I think we

set some rules like, I don't know, no
eating in the car.

Oh, no crumb -free when we ride? I love
it.

Exactly. So there's absolutely no food
in the car.

Except for turkey jerky, of course. Oh,
then I've got to have my cheese

squiggles and ranch -flavored dipping
sauce, yeah?

Okay. So let's simplify rule number one.
No eating vegetables in the car.

And rule number two, no muddy shoes.

I'm on it.

From now on, we can wear these shoe
closers, yeah? Okay.

Oh, and hey, I got another rule. What
about on Tuesdays, we drive around with

our shirts off? Call it Topless Tuesday,
yeah?

Okay, there's a reason I'm the idea guy
in our friendship.

Topless Tuesday just wasn't doing it for
me.

Let's put a pin in that one. What about
No Ending Sunday?

I'll try first.

Can't cruise without some tunage. Oh, I
got your major tunage right here.

Now,

Luke, I'm talking about major tunage.

Yeah, you're right.

Next stop, Stereo C's.

Need a lift, Minnie Munch?

Yeah, right.

What's the catch? I climb in and the
back seat explodes?

Ooh, we should have thought of that.

No pranks, Ginge. We're just looking for
any place to take the new wheels.

Fine. Take them to my school and step on
it. Whoa!

You gotta bag your dog.

I'll bag your dog.

Good afternoon, Coach Karp. Sorry to
bother you.

Look, school's over and I'm watering my
baby.

Virginia.

So scram.

Yeah, whatever.

I noticed you made a mistake with my
grade in gym class. You gave me a B

of the A that I deserve.

So you can go ahead and change that.

Thanks.

Not ice, Ginger. That's no mistake. You
gotta be in my class to deal with it. My

push -ups were clean and you know it.

Sorry, but on your 17th push -up, your
nose didn't touch the mat.

So there.

You lose.

I've never gotten a B in my life.

Gym class is a joke.

No, Ginger, gym class is not a joke.

I want you to sit down and we can
discuss it.

Now that's a joke!

You have got to be kidding me. It's a
farting bag prank. It's a carb classic.

Oh, yeah?

Well, this is a ginger classic.

Come to me.

My sunflower.

My sunny baby.

All right.

All right, it's my turn. Come on.

Let's go.

It's time to bring the heat.

It is going down.

Take it easy, okay? Oh, bro, you never
seen me dry before?

I'm like poetry.

Like a Lopthorne four -wheel.

Oh, yeah, buddy.

Good! What the heck?

Oh, bro, cool.

This car's got some pep.

Whoa! Luke, you were out of control.
What, you got a lead foot or something?

Yeah. Yeah, I do. I was born with it.

A limp foot isn't real. It's an
expression for someone who drives too

Oh, no, no, no. I actually have a heavy
foot. You can ask my doctor.

That's bizarre.

Your right foot is nine pounds heavier
than your left.

I told you.

Look, I don't care if your foot weighs a
ton. We don't want anything happening

to this killer car, so just take it easy
and don't be a bus waxer.

You see, Zeke and I, we've been best
friends forever, so it doesn't really

bother me when he calls me names like
Bus Waxer or Pretzel Picker or Fish

Slapper. You see, names, they just roll
off my back like bacon bits.

Mom, we need more bacon bits!

There's only one name that I can't
stand.

But he'd never call me that.

Watch out, you jackbar!

That's it, okay? That's the name. That
horrible, horrible name.

It all started a long time ago.

On St. Patrick's Day, we were having a
huge party, and my big uncle Jackie was

going to town on the green tuna balls.

No,

I can still feel the green tuna chunks
in my hair, okay?

Zeke, he knows better than to call me a
jackpot.

What? Now you're mad?

Oh, no,

no, no. I'm not mad that you reminded me
that my uncle threw up in my face.

Sorry to know you're still wigged out
about that. Well, I guess I am.

Craig, we're out of gas.

Yeah. Oh, we don't have any money
either.

Because of your genius idea to spend it
all on speakers.

Don't get uppity. No one's getting
uppity.

Hey, why don't we fill the gas tank with
jackfarm, huh? Ten gallons of green

nasty jackfarm. Look,

now you're just full

on uppity.

I'm glad you finally came to your senses
and you're ready to change my grade.

You were right about your push -ups. I
was being unreasonable.

So, if you just sign this change of
grade form... Oh, I think your pen

is leaking.

That's right!

A boom!

Nobody outfranks me!

Hey, everybody, check out old Inkfingers
here!

Okay, you want a prank war?

It's on.

Bring it on, sister.

When you mess with the car, you get the
game.

Thanks,

Betty. Okay.

Since I spent all our money on speakers,
I came up with a genius idea to get

free gas.

That's right. One day it's going to be
in the Genius Idea Hall of Fame.

My neighbor helped me convert the car to
run on a restaurant.

As a bonus, the car smells like day -old
onion rings.

Who's maybe mad at me now? I'll wait
till he gets a load of this.

He's gonna love it.

Dude, I hate it.

Bro, why are you ragging on my idea?
It's great.

No, it's not, okay? It smells like a
dumpster. Well, we're gonna attract wild

animals. There are no wild animals in
Gilroy. Just relax.

What?

Whatever you do, don't look behind you.

Is it a raccoon?

Bigger. Coyote?

Bigger. Elephant?

Smaller. Bear?

Bingo.

That is the biggest bear I've ever seen.
What are we gonna do?

Huh? Okay, I've got an idea. Let's,
um... No, that's bad.

I haven't even said anything yet. Yeah,
I know, but all your ideas have been bad

lately. No, they haven't. Okay, spending
our money on speakers?

Bad. Okay, grease gas? Bad.

All right, condiment helmet?

Ain't bad.

Okay, well, if you want to walk to the
fridge every time you get mustard or

relish, go ahead. Okay, fine, I will.

Hey.

Where's the bear?

Let me check. Oh, lilacs. Probably from
that cute new Spanish teacher.

Looks like someone's trying to catch
them a car.

La la la!

Ah, the old pie in the face.

Ah, the old cake in the kisser.

Well done.

Now that's a practical joke.

Don't you think it's a...

I'll trade you my noodle for your mop.

No trades.

There's no one in here.

That is it. I'm calling animal control.

They'll know what to do.

I need to go.

Yeah, well, why don't you say, way to
go, Jackbar?

Huh? Huh? Just let me have it, all
right? Rip it into old loose. I can take

bro. I'm made of steel, man.

This should have been the greatest few
days of our lives, getting our own car,

but instead we spent the whole time
griping at each other.

It had to end.

Luke, this is messed up.

Tell me about it.

We're stuck in a bathroom, okay, with a
six -foot bear in your heart. and all we

have to eat is fancy soap.

It's not that bad, actually.

I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about us fighting all the
time. I mean, we have rules for our car.

We need rules for our friendship.

Okay. Well, here's rule number one.
Okay, no more calling me names, like Bus

Waxer, Nozzle Jockey, Rumpel Dorkskin,
and especially not Jack Barf. Okay,

that's fair. Rule number two?

If someone has an idea, the other person
has to be supportive of that idea.

Okay, that's fair.

In fact, it wouldn't even hurt if the
other person said, good idea, buddy.

Deal.

Want a slow butter?

I'm downtown.

I should have known that if there was a
wild bear running around, it had to

involve you two clowns.

Do y 'all smell something?

The bear is still camping

out by the car.

Now he's eating a jerky.

Now he's trying to fold our mats. Good
luck.

He actually did it. It says here that
this is the time of year that bears

down from the forest looking for food
and a mate.

We just need to get him back where he
belongs.

Excuse me.

Were you going to take the bear doo -doo
to the trash or just leave it in my

room?

Your room.

Almost done.

All right. So tell me how this works.

Simple. The bear sees his hot bear babe,
sniffs her, likes what he smells, and

says, hey, let's go back to my den.

Meanwhile, we distracted him long enough
to move the car. And with no car to

lick, he'll eventually wander back to
the forest.

What do you think? That is ridiculously
awesome.

Good idea, buddy.

Thanks, man.

All right, now take cover in the house.

It's working.

I think he likes her.

Get rid of both of the cars.

Oh, no, she's headless. That's bad, bro.

Bears, they don't like that. That's a
major turnoff.

What's he doing?

Oh, no, don't go to the garage.

You're supposed to go back to the
forest.

Don't! And he does.

Oh, dude, he's on your bed destroying
your pillow.

Okay, I've got another idea.

Once he falls asleep in the bed, we flip
the garage door open, we grab a chain,

hook one end of the car, the other end
of the bedpost, and we, you know, we

him to the forest. What do you think?

Is it just me, or are Zeke's ideas
getting worse?

I mean, the guy's in a major slump. But
we have these new friendship rules.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea, buddy.

Thanks, bro. I wasn't feeling too sure
about that one.

Well, if it isn't Coach Karp. I guess
you're here to tell me I won that prank

war? And you'd like to give me my A now?

No.

I'm here for a parent -teacher
conference.

They're at home.

Sounds like someone's here.

I'm telling you, my parents aren't here.

Aha!

No, no, no, no, don't go in there. Yeah,
there's a wild bear in there.

The old wild bear in the garage prank.

You pull that off, you got your egg.

That was a bear.

It sure was.

Can you make that an A -plus?

That was a real bear.

Okay, here's a good spot to hook up the
chain.

Yep. It's taken care of, bro.

Hey, who's... Who's you?

In the past, that's why I might have
called Luther a tire sniffer for that.

rules are rules.

You are a great friend in accident town.

I'm going to hook this end up to the
frame. You attach the other part to the

bed. Yep.

Okay, we're good to go.

Holy crap,

Kingston. Hurry, bro. You've got bad
bear breath.

Just hang in there, bro.

I think he likes me.

I think the dude bearing me might be a
lady bear.

Okay, just go with it.

Just go with it.

So, in the end, we did it. We got our
furry friend back to the forest where

belonged.

Best of all, we still had the coolest
car on the planet.

Hey, Luth.

I was thinking about our friendship
rules.

You don't have to like every one of my
ideas. I mean, shoot one down every once

in a while just to keep me on my toes.

Yeah, I like that idea.

And, you know, feel free to call me a
crab stacker every now and then.

Especially if I deserve it.

You got it.

Hey, do you think this grease smell is
going to attract any more wild animals?

I think we're good, dude.

All right. Good night, bro.

Night.

Hey, Ginger!

I'm glad you could come by.

Listen, I just wanted to say your A has
been submitted. No hard feelings.

So what do you say we share a can of
mixed nuts?

Merrick Nuts from the Acme Joe Company.

Oh, yeah.

They make the best nuts.

I'm not really in a nut mood.

Sure you are. Open it.

Oh, look.

Fake snake.

Yeah!

Got you again, Ginger.

When you mess with a carp, sometimes you
get the gills.

Good one, Carl.

Thank you.

Hand buzzer, that's a clap.

Okay.