Original subtitles

We're here.

The enemy is there.

We're going to surprise attack their flank and then cut off their supply

I'm scared.

We're both scared, Luke.

We're both scared.

Let's do it!

So

we

got summer jobs plucking chickens at Kentucky's farm. Why, you ask?

Yeah, we need big money. See, I was making my famous helium pancakes for my

and Carl when I sort of ruined their summer cabin.

So with the money we make, we want to help them rebuild it. Yeah, and Liz is

best friend, so we're in this together.

All for one, one for all. We're a team, baby.

The job stinks, but it gave me a chance to dust off my old driver's license.

I used to drive all the time, but for some reason my parents don't want me

the family ride anymore, and I don't understand why.

He's a sweet driver.

Sometimes I get an itchy foot.

Oh, shoot, here comes Kentucky.

Waffles, how many chickens have you plucked since you've been here? Well,

about... Squat.

Look, they're just so darn cute.

Especially Herman.

Don't you want to smooch him?

You're fired, Waffles.

Now, hold on, Mr. Tucky.

Luce and I are a team.

All for one, one for all. And if you're going to fire him, you're going to have

to fire me, too.

Zeke, you're fired.

Kind of saw that coming. Yeah, me too.

Wait, don't tell me...

Dude, you won't believe what happened. Yes, no, maybe. Don't forget that I'm a

genius. Are you crazy? Someone could be listening to us. Wait, don't tell me.

Not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a problem?

Let's get a pizza.

This will act like nothing ever happened. Calm down. It's only Tuesday.

We'll get a pizza.

And hope that no one will hear us talking. Calm down. Cause I'm a genius.

It's only Thursday.

And by tomorrow we'll have everything just fine.

There's a job.

Organ donor.

What are you talking about? We don't even own a piano.

What kind of job do I want?

What kind of job do I want?

Do you want a job where you skate all day and get paid tons of money?

Now you're talking to me? Well, I might just have the job for you.

What is it?

It's not me. It's Garm Garush.

Hi, everybody.

Garm Garush. Coming to you live from Garush TV.

in garuta vision if you're a great skater then you listen up because i'm

for the best of the best to test out my new high -tech skating equipment so if

you think that you've got what it takes buddy then garm wants you yeah garm out

send all applications to garm industries peel box 101 hidden palms california

weenies whiners and whack jobs may not apply i gotta admit when i was a kid

Garm was my favorite skater.

Groosh, swoosh, groosh, swoosh.

Until he ate it big time at the X Games.

Z and I were sitting right in the front. It was nasty.

Garm never skated again.

Now he just invents cool, weird skate gear like this.

The world's tiniest skateboard.

It's like the size of a rice kernel.

This is a rice kernel.

Where'd my teensy skateboard go?

Anyway, jobs with Garm are paying big cannolis, and if he hires us, I can help

Nana and Carl rebuild their summer cabin.

Who are you talking to, you ham bone? We're trying to sleep.

Carl. Be nice to little Lucy.

He's letting us stay here for our summer vacation.

Sorry, cookie buns.

Why do old people go to sleep so early?

Since Luke and I are a team, I'm filling out our application together just so

that we have the best shot of Garm picking us. This is so great. Skating

and getting paid for it. Woo!

Hold up, C. We don't have the job yet.

All right, let's make sure we have everything we need.

Picture, bio, self -addressed envelope.

Yep, got everything.

Oh, I got a little present for Garm.

Tap.

It's the best bribing candy.

Every purchase comes with free nasal spray.

Oh, load me up, miniature lady.

I'll need a week's worth of wedges going on a top -secret gathering of like

-minded individuals.

No top secret. Even if you tickled my tummy, I wouldn't tell.

No taker?

Hmm, a portable potato wedger. Perhaps I might just purchase your little

invention. You want to buy my machine?

Precisely. Crisp.

Brown wedges at my fingertips.

No fucked cleanup.

It would make wedging a breeze.

Sorry, but I have other plans for my... Wedge -o -matics.

I suppose you foolios think you're gonna be the new test skaters. Well,

newsflash, God wants the real deal. Watch out!

Kojo, dream on. Luth and I are gonna get the job because we're the best skaters

around and because we're gonna get our application delivered first.

How do you know that?

Because there's Mike right there.

Ornelius Jonesworth.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

30 ,000 applications, and I still haven't found him. Theo, enough with the

crow. Because at this point, really just kind of getting creepy.

What kind of pinhead would mail taffy?

Oh, yeah.

I think I finally found what I'm looking for.

We haven't heard anything from Grouch Industries.

Waiting for Mike the mailman has become all that Luth and I can think about.

Luth, I told you, moving the hands forward isn't going to make time go

Put it back.

Oh, there he is! There he is!

Dear sir, big word, big word.

Welcome to the team of Luther and Zeke as the new escape testers of Jerusalem!

We got the job! We got the job!

Sorry, guys.

We don't usually get jiggy with postal workers.

Oh, no.

It says we have to be at a skate lab in Hidden Palms, California.

This Friday at noon sharp. The day after tomorrow.

Hidden palms?

That's forever away. How are we going to get there?

There's only one way.

It's hers.

No lie.

Eleven -year -old Minnie Munch sold 65 ,000 boxes of Junior Scout cookies. Most

of them to the Chinese government.

That's not the point. The point is that she won the top prize, which is a cool

car. Whatever. It's not like I'm bitter.

Anyhow, it's not like I'm going to beg.

Come on, Ginger, please.

So, do you want me to let you borrow my car so you can see some crazy

billionaires? You know what? I don't even know why I ask.

You're such a selfish little butt munch. Sure, you can borrow it. You have a

heart of stone. A heart of stone.

Wait.

Was that a yes?

Don't scratch it.

How am I supposed to enjoy my summer vacation when I can't even figure out

to work a cockamamie remote?

Look, first off, Carl, it's not a remote, okay?

It's not a curling iron. Oh, Carl, you're such a lovable dunderhead.

Everything but the lovable part.

Okay, look, simple.

First press power, okay? Then auxiliary A. Then menu. Then info. Then matrix.

And then you press 01 .1 and boom, you're done.

Anna.

Try to enjoy yourself when I'm gone. I will, sweetie.

Carl.

Try not to get any balder. Try not to get any dumber.

Bye.

Bang. Read the word.

We're having a hoot, Nanny.

Bam! Woo -hoo!

Chips in the net.

Look.

Cool, Dave.

Fake leather gloves.

37 bags of turkey jerky.

Let's roll.

What are you doing here, Peanut Teeth?

Oh, no, you're not coming with us.

Oh, yeah, I am.

Why do you think I'd let you borrow my sweet ride?

I have a little business with Mr.

Garmgaroosh. We're going to be partners and sell my Wedge -O -Matic to millions

of skaters everywhere.

No skater would ever want to buy that dumb machine.

Put me down for two.

Before we hit the road, I say we do one thing first.

Hey,

Kojo. Do us a favor while we're up at Garb's Fat. Yeah, why don't you look

the place for us, huh? We'll put you in charge.

Yeah? Well, why you gone?

Moms and I are making homemade jerky.

Uh -huh.

Full -on teriyaki flavor.

Hate to be you guys.

Whatever you say, sucker.

Because we're on the road to greatness.

Thanks to be you.

Yeah!

Hello.

A little help?

Just six hours to get to Groucho Industries?

Start a drinking.

I have to tinkle.

Let's just go back and relax.

Got to use the restroom.

Enjoy the ride.

Can I go to the bathroom, Luth? I told you we're not going to stop at the

bathroom. Everybody.

I love Luth, but the guy's got a tiny bladder, like a baby hamster. It's not

true.

Really? Then what was that noise?

It's my ringtone.

It makes me want to tinkle.

You can touch the sky in the summertime.

Yo, you can send them with that feeling in their mind.

Hey, hey, hey. Yo, we just hang with the truth, man. You know how we do in

summertime. Hey, hey, hey.

Okay, it's the summertime, and I'm going to let you know the plan. I'm just

kicking it with my toes in the sand. See, the wintertime really had my nose

my hands, sneezing all over my shirt. I'm like, I'm cold, y 'all, but man,

summertime, okay.

Screaming, everybody blow up like the sun. The day won't even start unless I

show up. And it's eight to the key in the summertime, baby.

We'll be right back.

And yet we ain't giving it back.

Okay, Garm said to be in his place by noon sharp.

Just admit it, pea brain. We're lost.

No, we are not lost. I know exactly where we're going. We are lost. Look,

there's a shortcut right there.

Okay, now we're lost.

We're going to be late, man.

That's your fault, Mr. 50 Tinkle Break.

It's really your fault because you're so short. Everyone, just chill.

Now, it looks like we're at some place called Area 57.

Yeah. Area 57. Why?

Area 57 is where the government hides things they don't want the public to

about. Okay, I'm talking... Aliens live here.

Okay, it's a known fact.

Happened to be an expert on this subject.

This is coming from a guy who can't tie his shoelaces.

I figured if he can't tie a knot, die a lot.

What's that noise?

Probably... Herman, getting hungry.

Why in the world would you bring a chicken along?

Hey, it's his first road trip, okay?

Luce, we are not going to Garmsbad with a stupid chicken.

It's not stupid.

Are you too happy? Wait, wait.

Herman! Luce, we don't have time for this.

Okay, Cookie Buns, now no peeking.

It's been a while since I've done it. This bat is so heavy.

Oh, come on, Trigger Dumpling. You can do it.

All right. Now crack that donkey.

This is a special moment. Maybe you should stay here.

Because the egg's gonna need a father, and if you...

Okay,

they had me, all right? And since aliens are superior to us in every way, I had

to fight dirty.

Because fighting dirty is what humans do best.

Look, guys! Alien cheerleaders!

No such thing as alien.

Except for those two.

And the big one behind us.

All right, alien.

I know how you operate.

You're here to take someone back to your planet.

And since Luke and I have this dream gig going on and we do it together, you

should take my sister.

Don't go.

Wait,

what did he say?

Must take.

To our leader.

Bow to me.

This is sacred land. You boys and your miniature lady have soiled it with your

stupidity. Wait.

Miniature lady?

Your voice sounds familiar.

Bless your name, Gingotar.

Voila!

Ozzy, you butt brain, what are you doing here? We are on our yearly trip to Area

57 where we, the cream of the human crop, gather to welcome aliens.

Gingotar, I got a rock in my shoe again.

Oh, young Spordak.

Approach. Hold on.

Oz, we need your help.

We need to get to Hidden Palms in less than an hour. Is there anything you can

do? Zoco!

Get them food and water.

Spordak, plot them, of course.

Munkatar.

Give me my ointment, please.

Got a tanker sore from kissing a Valkron.

Not really.

Well, thanks, Oz. Is there anything we can do to return the favor?

Oh, can I borrow your world a Battlecraft video game when I get back?

Yeah. Really? No.

Yeah, you can. Let's go.

May the traffic be light, fellow travelers.

Yo,

I gotta do this, babes.

When I get to Gorm's crib and show him my skill set, he's going to say, you

freaking loser, get your sorry buns back to Gilroy. Watch out.

So don't wait up, homie.

Man's got to deal with a man's got to deal.

Kojo, sweetie, did you pack your footie pajamas?

Quit joking around, moms.

I don't own no footie PJs. I'm not joking around. You always complaining

your chilly toes.

She's always getting me mixed up with my nerdy little brother.

As my only baby child, I'm...

about your feet.

I don't know.

Check this place out.

There they are, Theo.

Right on time, huh?

Impressive.

This place is awesome.

Look out!

Holy crap, take Mr. Groose.

We are so sorry.

No, I'm good, dude.

I'm good.

Well, we're a flea consumer.

I mean, geek and loser.

I mean, Clark and Hootcher. I know exactly who you are. I have no idea who

are. I'm Ginger. I have a business proposition that's going to blow your

off. Splendid. But for now.

Welcome to Garouche Industries, where imagination meets the extreme.

I love you, Garouche.

Luke,

Luke, Luke, easy, easy.

Mr. Garouche, this is just the greatest moment of our lives.

My staff is at your disposal.

Enjoy your visit. Have a great time, for it shall be

your last.

All right, that's enough.

Next time on Zeke and Luther, I turn the guys into official test skaters. Ginger

gets the green light to sell her potato thingy on my Garm TV channel.

And the guys get a look at the future of skateboarding.

But which one of them will ride it?

If they knew what I had in store for them, they'd wish they'd never learned

skateboard at all.

See you.