Original subtitles

This is Otis O, and you're listening to Smooth Jazz, making your afternoon

relaxing and smooth.

You got that right, Otis.

They're coming!

Oh, you doofus! You crunched my lunch!

Don't worry.

My board is not scratched.

Whew, man.

You are so in trouble.

Serious trouble. You are so going down.

Wait. Hold on. Hold that tirade.

What up, Luce? Zeke, get down here right now. It is horrible.

What is it? It's horrible, okay? Horrible.

What? Look, they're... Hang on, Luce. I got another call.

Hello? Chump, you better get your arm down here. It is ugly.

What's ugly? It is.

Prud, hang on.

Hello? Zeke, this is Ozzy, a nightmare of epic proportions is unfolding as

Please hold. I have another call.

Greetings. Get off the phone, auntie. I'm talking to Zeke. Get off the phone.

I'm talking to Zeke. Hey, relax.

I'm not relaxed. I'm completely relaxed.

Hey, I'm heading to ramps. Bring him on, buddy boy. You think you can just skip

through life without consequences?

Get in the house and make me another lunch.

Go. March.

You are hilarious.

It's so going down.

All right.

What's so stinkin' horrible?

The roller door.

They're back.

Wait, don't tell me, dude, you won't believe what...

We'll be right back. We'll be right

back.

We've had a turf battle with the roller dorks as far back as I can remember. It

seems like every six months they show up and think they can take over ramps. You

know what? They're not only dorky, they're clueless.

Now, if you're going to rank dorkiness, you've got your pace eater, you've got

your people that say any who, mouth breathers, nose breathers, kids who eat

ice cream cone with two hands.

What's up with that?

And top dorky?

Roller skaters.

On a side note.

Don't you just love Velcro?

All right, Ramon, we've been over this before.

This is our hangout. So take your little circus elsewhere.

I do not think so, my little state friend.

This is a free country.

If we wish to boogie here, then boogie we will do.

Excuse us.

So what now, tear gas?

I know a guy.

No, tear gas. We planned for this day. Remember?

Oh, right.

The emergency box.

Fail waffle.

Yeah!

Okay,

Roland Dope.

Breakfast is served.

Her name?

Charlene. She wrote her name on the back of this taffy.

And her number.

I can't stop thinking about her.

That's why I made a picture of her at a elbow macaroni.

I can't call her. I mean, what would the guys think?

Who cares what the guys think?

Be cool.

Hello?

Charlene? Hey. Who is this?

This is Luther.

I once drank a jar of pickle juice.

What?

Hello? Luther?

Yeah. So you want to do something?

We could meet up.

Yeah. Really? Yeah, give me about an hour. Cool.

This is my first date with a roller dork. I mean a roller dumpling.

Okay, see ya.

This is my first date.

I should probably shower and shave, even though I've never done that before.

I mean shave. I shower eight times a day.

Hey, Charlene.

You got a little... Oh, yeah.

Got myself shaven.

Pick a number.

Huh? What's your favorite number in the whole wide world?

186 ,256.

110, silly goose.

Four. Okay.

One, two, three, four. Your favorite color?

Lava.

The big red bunny.

Wait, who's this big red bunny jerk? I thought you liked me.

It is you, silly.

It's your new pet name.

Oh, yikes. We gotta hide.

Oh, hello. Goodbye. You're walking away.

Don, soy donut. Hold the sprinkles.

The truth is, Charlene, I can't be seen with you, okay? Because you're a roller.

Hush. Don't say it.

I know what you call us.

Fingers smell like tape.

I have a stage five foot fungus. I gotta air it out. Doctor's orders.

Why are you putting hot mustard in your toothpaste?

It's not my toothpaste. It's my lame brother's. And I'm trying to get even

him for being an obnoxious jerk.

when he has to go potty. Well, he ain't using my bathroom.

No need.

I have him trained.

He only goes on a bullseye.

Here you go, Vern.

Have at it.

Nice job, Vern. You hit the center dot.

Poochie, I have a radical idea, and I'm going to need to borrow Vern.

What's that noise you hear?

This meeting is about retaliation.

Ozzie Kephart, I say we rent a helicopter and drop a vat of boiling

on them. That sounds a smidge expensive, Ozzie.

But I like that you're thinking big. I can go big. Big and nasty.

Hey, wait. I got an idea.

We could, uh, be nice to him and take him out for Chinese food.

You talking about Luth Goof?

You like them or something?

You getting soft?

Something!

Relax, guys.

Luther hates the roller dorks as much as the rest of us do.

Right, Luther?

We filled up balloons with corn syrup and my personal favorite, chili con

All right, we're cool.

The roller dorks at ramps right now.

Where's Ozzie and Luth?

Ozzy had to powder his feet, and Luther, um... I don't know where Luther is, but

he knows about the big attack, so I'm sure he'll meet us there.

Ozzy, what in the world is that?

Well, let's see.

The sign says, Roller Dork Crusher, so I guess it's a roller dork.

Crusher. Men,

let's roll out.

Oh, yeah,

baby. Bombs away.

Yay, bombs away.

Look,

I have to talk to you again.

Go back to your sewers for that. That's where State Director lives.

In the source. Wait.

The big red bunny comes in peace. Yeah.

What she said.

Charlie, you have to get out of here. There's a big attack coming. Chili

balloons, everything.

But whatever you do, do not...

You said they were here.

They were.

Yo, some freaky's going on.

Super freaky.

Hark, I hear something.

Hark? Who says hark?

Yes, yes.

The repulsive thumping of a disco beat. It's not too far away.

Let's follow the beat.

Hark! I also hear the squawking of a yellow -tailed cockatoo.

It's coming right at us.

Luther! Luther!

What the heck?

Hey, guys.

Guys.

How would you think?

Well, what do you think we think it is? That I'm crushing on a roller dork and I

warned her about your guys' attack?

Got caught up in the music and started roller dancing?

Is that what happened?

No. Look, I don't care what anybody thinks.

I like my big red bun. Oh, no, don't tell me she already has a nickname for

Yeah, it's pretty cute, huh?

No, pretty lame.

And, Ramon, just so you know, next time you hang out at Ramps, you're going to

get one of these.

Chili balloon.

It ain't no waffle.

You think you are so macho? Yeah.

Tell me this.

Macho man, can you do this?

No,

I can't.

And I'm not going to try. I'll try. You can't dance, Ozzy.

I'll try.

No one's going to try the goofy move.

Let's get out of here, guys.

This ain't over.

Luther.

Come on, let's go. I'll be back.

Okay, Ginger, since you've gotten back at your brother, I guess I'll take my

bird back.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I've got ten years of bad behavior to avenge.

Eat, Fern.

Eat.

Okay, in all fairness to Luther, I say we give him one minute to defend

And then we'll vote on whether or not his butt is banned from Rams. Okay.

That seems a little harsh.

It's in the rule book.

All right, whatever.

Friend, may I interject for a moment?

He's a traitor! He should be stripped naked and left in the jungle!

Down, down, down, down.

My apologies. Go ahead, Luther.

Guys, I didn't know I'd fall for a roller dumpling.

I mean, a roller dork.

Look, let me just add before you guys vote.

She's a wonderful girl.

She made this portrait of me out of elbow macaroni.

She even got the headband.

And Luther.

It's my name.

Anyway, if you guys were to meet her, then you would think she's a wonderful

girl.

Well, Luther, thanks.

I think that Luther really gave us something to think about, right, guys?

So before we decide whether or not to ban Luther from ramps,

We should vote with our hearts.

Banned.

Banned.

Banned.

Naked in jungle.

That's unexpected.

Not banned.

Sorry, Luce. Six to one, and I only get one vote.

Bro, it's only a year, and we'll still hang out.

Hey, guys.

What if Luther breaks up with Charlene? What?

Well, then we could forget about the whole band thing, right?

Okay.

I'll break up with her.

I'll go with him.

I've broken up with hundreds of female ladies.

Gotta make sure he does it right.

For you.

Meet me at Ramp Ramon.

I got your rock.

What up?

The time to settle the turf for is now.

You and me are going to have a contest.

Mano a mano.

I am the one mano, you are the other.

Winner of the contest gets to keep this place.

Any event, you name it. The slalom course.

I knew Ramon was going to say slalom course. A few months ago, we won a

Whatever. And FYI, no skateboarder would ever blow kisses.

You're on.

Be prepared to look ridiculous.

FYI, no one makes me look ridiculous.

Ever.

Hey, Charlene.

Thanks for, uh, meeting me.

Anytime, BRB.

That short for Big Red Bunny? No one cares.

So, uh, do you want a Danish?

Never buy them food, man.

And be quick.

Charlene, there's something I have to tell you.

Okay.

You know your name rhymes with Marlene.

I got this.

Look, it's over between us.

Welcome to Dumpsville.

Are you breaking up with me?

Charlene, it's just that I... You'll find someone else, baby.

I don't want someone else. I know I'm the greatest guy ever, but I gotta

my wings.

Toast, just one.

Waffle.

I understand.

And I don't know who you are, but toast this.

She loves her spunkiness.

I need to win this contest, and I need every advantage.

Even if it means looking like a complete tool.

hits the pavement, so begins the race.

Are you super mad at me?

You did what you had to do.

As I watched Luther say goodbye to what's -her -face, it hit me. If they

get along so well, then why couldn't all roller dorks and skaters get along?

Seriously, I mean, why not?

Everyone, as the winner, I would like to suggest something.

That we all share ramps.

foolishly stupid suggestion.

Look, there's six billion people on this little blue ball we call Earth, and

we're all stuck here together.

So why can't a skater date a roller dork?

Or a golfer date a frisbee golfer? Or a mailman date a dog?

You all get my point.

I agree.

You are a strange and wonderful man.

Let us both fool them.

Oh, okay.

Let's pace ourselves.

This is a beautiful moment, BRB.

Nothing can mess this up.

Not this time. Keep moving.

Ginge, I know it was you who sent Poochie's bird on those business trips.

What bird?

You know, it doesn't matter.

In the spirit of the truce we have with the roller dorks, why don't we just call

it even?

Eh, why not?

I guess we should hug?

You know, that's what normal families do.

Okay.

Well, see you around the old homestead. You too, buddy.