Original subtitles

Move it, move it, move it, move it, move it.

Mrs. Cassidy, where is my cake? I don't see my cake anywhere.

It's in the kitchen. It'll be out in a minute.

And what about these sandwiches? Why do they have crusts on them?

Because they're on bread.

Well, the crusts should have been removed.

Well, I'll just apologize for your incompetence at the press conference.

Well, I'm getting out of here. If you suddenly get murdered, I don't want to

a suspect.

Thank you, thank you. That's very gracious.

Thank you, thank you. What are you doing?

I'm having a press conference.

How's it going?

It hasn't started. There's no one here yet.

Oh, you noticed that?

What is this press conference about, anyway?

You'll just have to wait and read the headlines like everyone else. Clayton, I

don't want to pull rank on you.

rank. You're only the acting governor.

Be that as it may, I think you'd better tell me what this press conference is

all about.

You know, I know what you're trying to do. You want to come in at the last

moment and hog all the credit.

Credit for what? Credit for... You honestly believe I'm so naive that

I'd fall for that?

Yes.

What is the press conference about?

More crusty sandwiches.

think it's appropriate to discuss government business in front of the

Well, maybe you think it's appropriate to discuss your resignation in front of

the help.

Then when the people of this state find out that I am responsible for an $8

million surplus, I am going to be a hero.

What $8 million surplus?

In the state budget, and I am the budget director.

Temporary budget director.

No, no, no, no. Not after I announce the $8 million surplus. And I did it. Me,

me, me.

Well, I see you've gotten over the fear of blowing your own horn.

Me? Honk. Me?

Honk. Me, me.

Honk, honk.

Benson, pull over. I need to talk to you.

There is a federal auditor from the general accounting department here to

you. What does he want to see me about?

It's me, but you can be sure it's bad news.

Oh, not necessarily.

Oh, you often was the last time anyone from the federal government showed up

with good news.

Congratulations, you have not been drafted.

Good news, we have enough money. Don't send any more taxes.

Immigration.

Not funny, Benson.

Where are your papers?

Oh, you know I'm a citizen now.

What did you do during the war?

It's Mr.

Berger. Well, how do you do, Mr. Berger? I'm Lieutenant Governor Benson Dubois.

Mr. Dubois? Yes. Have a seat.

Thank you.

Now, how can I help you?

Kind of serious.

Seems you people have an $8 million surplus.

Well, yes, yes, we do, yes.

I hope that's not a federal offense.

that when the federal government sends you money for certain expenditures, we

expect you to expend it. Well, I can certainly understand that.

I guess some good budget management this year allowed us to save a few bucks. I

don't care who's at fault.

I'm here to help you solve the problem.

Well, I didn't realize there was a problem.

The problem is this.

If you don't spend the money this year... Next year, we'll be forced to

your funding by $8 million.

Oh, I see.

If I don't spend it, I don't get it. You got it.

Well, that's pretty chintzy.

The federal government is not chintzy.

Maybe this will help you understand.

If I give you eight apples and you don't eat eight apples... then why should I

give you eight more apples?

Simple enough?

Don't talk down to me, Buster. You'll be eating apples.

Oh,

Kraus, Kraus, Kraus.

Behave yourself.

Why don't you get Mr.

Burger a cup of coffee?

No.

I don't like him.

Mind her, Mr. Berger. She's not really housebroken yet.

Please, have a seat again. Here.

Now, insofar as this $8 million surplus is concerned, I don't really think we'll

have a problem spending it. I'll do it all according to Rule 72A. Good. There

a current supplement to Rule 72A.

This is the supplement? The original rule was only one paragraph.

I'd read it if I were you. Sure, I'll curl up with it tonight.

It's your budget.

Well, I've done my job.

One word of advice.

I wouldn't let any of this get out to the press.

Boy, Clayton's really going to make a fool of himself.

I'll stop him as soon as I've read the supplement.

Nah.

Where is Clayton? Oh, he'll be right back. He's in the bathroom rehearsing

speech in front of the mirror.

Well, that's good. You can't get a tougher audience than that.

Well, I better go get his stupid cake.

Boss, why are you here?

I want to be here when Clayton hits the fan.

You have a real mean streak, you know that?

Yeah. So?

So, it's your most endearing quality.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention.

As you know, I have a major announcement to make, so if I may have your

attention. Uh, Mr.

Endercott, before you get their attention, could I get your attention?

What are you doing trying to get into my limelight?

I'm not trying to get in your limelight. I'm trying to keep you from getting

your butt burned. Get down.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Some annoying government business has just

up. I'll be right back with my major announcement. What is it? There is a

federal auditor in my office.

Auditor? Yes, yes.

He has a problem with the surplus.

A problem?

That's right.

You cannot announce it to the press.

Cannot? But I have to say something. I've alerted the networks. I have hors d

'oeuvres. I have a cake. I have crusty sandwiches.

What is this major announcement? What are we waiting for here?

Krauss, give the guy a break, huh?

Benson, what am I going to do?

Do what you usually do. Weasel out of it.

So lonely in middle management.

Ladies and gentlemen, concerning that major announcement, I... No, no, no, no,

no, not the cake, not the cake.

Help me!

I'm ruined.

What is so funny?

What is this political cartoon?

You are on a little ship labeled career and it is sinking in a sea of surplus.

What are we going to do about some money? Well, I was just looking at this

supplement here, and I think if we can find an appropriate way to spend the

money... What was that?

Oh, sorry, Dad.

Was that the governor?

Quick, hide the newspapers.

Governor. Governor.

Sunburned. Fell asleep on the beach.

What happened to his hair?

He couldn't sit down in a limo, so I had to stand up to the sunroof.

Like being in a parade.

55 miles an hour.

You scared me there for a moment.

I thought Don King had lost his tan.

Laugh, Benson.

Well, you won't be laughing long.

Benson, don't bother the governor. Can't you see he's in pain?

What do you want me to do, wait until he starts peeling?

Just about the eight million dollars.

He knows.

It was on the radio.

Every five minutes.

Well, everything's under control here.

Well, definitely everything's under control here.

And we can spend the money. We can definitely spend the money.

So, what's the plan?

Take it, Benson.

Thank you, Clayton.

Well, Governor, what we need to do is investigate ways in which we can spend

money, do some committee reports, get some studies.

Excuse my interrupting.

One thing I think you're overlooking.

What's that?

We have to spend the money by the end of the fiscal year.

Oh.

And that is?

Tomorrow. So, we have by the end of business tomorrow to spend the money.

Eight million dollars in eight hours.

Well, that's a million dollars an hour.

Well, I think we can spend it.

We can definitely spend it.

You sure?

Positive. Definitely.

So, what's the plan?

Take it, Clayton.

There's got to be a way to spend this money.

I've got it.

Potholes.

We got enough potholes.

No, we fill them up.

With the money?

Oh, forget the potholes.

Ta -da!

Good news.

I hope so.

Two words.

They better be pips. Rapid transit.

Now, hear me out. Picture this.

A bullet train shooting through downtown capital city at 250 miles an hour. We

can start building it tomorrow at a cost of $2 million per city block.

Clayton, that would only cover four blocks.

Yeah, but it'll be a ride they'll never forget.

Hello?

Oh, hey, babe. What's happening?

the concert, yes.

Uh -huh. Hold on just a minute. Uh, Governor, it's for you.

Hello?

Oh,

all right. I'll be right there.

Senator Tyler wants to see me right away in my office, Mr.

Temporary Budget Director.

He's really steamed up about that secret surplus.

Mr. Tyler, the governor hates him.

It's all my fault.

He's going to blame me.

Clayton, will you stop whining? I've got work to do here.

Whining is my release.

Whining is your religion.

I've got it. I've got it.

Space!

This will be good.

phone with a guy from NASA, and he is willing to sell us an old satellite.

See? Why didn't I tell you?

Krauss, what on earth would we do with a used satellite?

We're going to explore space!

Let's start by exploring the space between your ears.

Just forget it, Krauss. We're spending the money on a bullet train.

A bullet train?

Let's put the satellite on the bullet train and shoot it four blocks into

Yes.

Oh, yes, Governor.

Yes, I'll tell him. Oh, sir, I would like to just take this opportunity to

out that technically this surplus occurred during Benson's term as

budget director.

It's a problem which I inherited from Benson, and Benson created the problem.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'll tell him. Yes, sir.

Governor wants to see you in his office pronto.

You are good, Clayton.

You're extraordinary. This is the first time I've ever seen anyone stabbed in

the back right in front of their face.

You wanted to see me? I asked nothing. Come in.

Sit down.

Senator Tyler just made it very clear to me that if I want to maintain my good

relations with the state legislature, I must distance myself from this $8

million.

Distance yourself from the $8 million?

Is that your euphemistic way of easing my head onto the chopping block?

No, Benson, no, no, of course not. Are you sure you're not trying to get me to

take the rap?

No, Benson, I wouldn't do that. Of course, if you want to volunteer, I'd

consider it.

Does that mean you'll do it? No, no.

I think I'll pass.

Benson, my old friend Benson.

Ah.

You were always the one to...

Volunteer for these suicide missions?

Not this time, Kimo Sabe.

You should be the one to do this. You caused the problem. No, no, no, wait a

minute. You were the budget director. You were the governor.

You saved the money. And you passed the law.

I remember telling you last year that we were going to have a problem with this

surplus, but you said, no, no, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

here we are, and you want Benny to jump in the river.

Oh, I think I see your point, Benson.

I was using you, wasn't I, to further my own programs.

And that is wrong.

I'm sorry, Benson. I am sorry. It's my responsibility.

I'll do it.

I'll jump in the river.

No, you don't have to do that. No, no, no.

My responsibility.

Look, I told you, I'll take the heat. No, I don't want you to now, Benson.

Oh, for goodness sake, don't pout.

I told you, I'll do it.

Thank you, Benson.

I knew I could count on you.

Good luck on your press conference.

Oh, thanks.

What press conference?

It was the one you called for 5 o 'clock today.

I didn't call any press conference.

Okay, never mind.

i've already volunteered you got your way give yourself a pat on the back

But I see this as an opportunity to buy some new school buses.

No, I told you that's Section 2200 money.

But we need new school buses. We're not talking need. We're talking rules.

I'm simply trying to find a way to spend the money responsibly. You don't have

to be responsible.

That's why we've given you guidelines.

But I've read your guidelines.

This state doesn't need a new Senate commissary. And we don't need to

The executive golf course. And we certainly don't need new gold leaf on

Capitol Dome.

It's too bad. All of those would be acceptable.

Why do I get the feeling that you guys would be happier if we spent the money

$500 toilet seats?

That was a low blow.

We didn't do that.

The Pentagon did that.

We sent them hundreds of memos in triplicate concerning that subject.

Oh, good for you. That must have stopped them gold.

You don't want my help?

I'll just be on my way.

That's what I need, a sensitive accountant.

Benson? Yeah.

The governor has informed me of your courageous decision to take the fall for

the surplus.

Politically, I think it's an incredible blunder, but personally, I want you to

know from the bottom of my heart how much I appreciate it.

Thank you, Clayton.

That speech made me queasy.

That's a... Yeah.

Oh.

I just wanted you to know that I put on this suit and I came down here to this

press conference to give you moral support.

Dumbest thing I ever did.

Well, thank you very much for your support, Governor.

It's perfectly all right. I'll be over there supporting you. Okay, thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, please.

Now, as most of you must know by now, I suppose, we have $8 million

left over in the budget this year.

Now, the federal government wants us to spend that money on things we don't

really...

they can give us another eight million dollars next year now if you ask me

that's pretty damn silly but more importantly it's weightful and you know

pays for that waste not the federal government not the state government but

the taxpayers pay for that now the point is it's our money government's got to

learn to stop spending money just for the sake of spending money somebody's

to start putting the brakes on

And this is as good a place as any to start.

So we're going to do something that's a little off the beaten track.

A little revolutionary.

We're going to put the money in the bank.

The federal government can keep its $8 million.

Maybe you'll be able to keep a little money in your pocket, too, huh?

Well, I'm sure we can all use it. That's my decision.