All language subtitles for benson_s05e17_take_my_life_please

Oh, Cross, you shouldn't have. I've only
been gone three days.

Benson, this could be the most exciting
day of our lives.

I want to, Gretchen, but I must save
myself for the woman I marry.

Benson, I am not interested in you. I
never was, and I never will be. Then I

can't accept these flowers.

Didn't get them for you. I got them for
the President of the United States.

Shame on you, Krauss. He's a married
man.

Chaplain Sergeant Hawthorne, Sergeant
Tyler.

I'm in the kitchen.

I'm lost.

Oh, Miss Krauss. Oh, hi, Branson.

Hi. Krauss, I'm Sergeant Tyler.

Oh, big day, huh?

He's inviting senators?

He didn't say anything about senators to
me.

Inviting them to what?

I just got off the phone with
Washington. Yeah, yeah. Chicken is good,

good, fish is bad.

That's it?

You didn't find out anything about
vegetables?

Vegetables? I forgot the darn
vegetables.

I'll get back to you.

What's everybody running around about?

Well, because the president is coming to
dinner, dummy.

Oh, tonight?

Yeah. Now, what am I going to fix?
Should it be leg of lamb or chicken?

Send out for pizza.

That would be an insult to the President
of the United States, a man with the

most difficult job in the world.

Excluding your beautician.

That does it. I'm fixing leg of lamb.

And you get the hoof.

Agent Bartlett and I appreciate your
cooperation.

Now, let me just go over this list and
put faces with names.

Catherine Olivia Gatling.

That's me.

Benson Dubois.

Present. Denise Florence Downey.

Denise Downey.

That's you.

I forgot.

I just changed my name.

Oh, no, no, it's my real name. I just
got married to him.

She's nervous.

She's never been in trouble with the law
before.

Nobody's in trouble. This is just
standard procedure.

See, we run a check on everybody who
will have access to the president.

Gretchen Wilhelmina Krauss?

Ja. I am a citizen, and I have the
papers to prove it.

We like to call them the funny papers.

We prefer you don't joke about security.

John Downey? Yo!

Clayton Runnymede Endicott III.

I am he.

Runnymede.

Is that what the R stands for?
Runnymede?

I'm warning you, Benson, many a fourth
grader got his nose punched for making

fun of my name.

Make a note of that. He beats up on
fourth graders.

Mr. Dubois.

The president's security is not a
laughing matter.

I hope I don't have to remind you of
that again.

Sorry, I'll keep my mouth shut.

I'd pay good money to see that.

Was you going to say anything to her?

You had it coming.

All right, are there any questions?

I have one. You didn't call my name.

That's right, Governor.

You've already been cleared.

We're going to be setting up some
communications equipment now.

We'll be around for the rest of the day,
but we'll try and stay out of your way.

Thank you all again for your
cooperation.

Daddy? Yes? What happens if I don't pass
the security check? Does that mean I

can't have dinner with the president?

Honey, I don't think you have a thing to
worry about.

That depends.

Do they check your grades?

No, I don't think so.

That's good.

You a security resident? Nothing to
worry about.

Unless, of course, she shows up with a
blackjack in her book bag.

You're so strange.

What did I do? I was just trying to be
nice.

Well, you shouldn't try things you're
not familiar with.

Ja, und weil wir at it, don't act like a
jerk tonight in front of the president.

I hardly need your advice. I'll have you
know the Endicotts have graced many a

presidential meal.

Oh, really?

Yeah, turkeys are always popular at
these affairs.

I can see I'm no longer needed here.

Yeah, well, at least he's gonna get to
meet the president. I probably won't get

anywhere near him. Why not?

Well, I've got a criminal record.

In college, I was arrested at a
demonstration.

An anti -war protest?

No, no, they were gonna raise the prices
in the cafeteria.

I'm sure J. Edgar Hoover put that in his
files. Pete Downey, ringleader of the

meatloaf conspiracy.

Oh, yeah? I was in jail for almost four
hours.

Did you ever do anything bad, Denise?

Once. But the football team promised not
to tell.

never want to do those kind of things
with me.

Oh, do you think they check your records
in the old country? Because, see, I was

once arrested for skinny dipping in the
Burgermeister's fish pond.

What was the charge?

Impersonating a carp?

Forget it. I'd better go and start our
meal.

Oh, I'm preparing a delicious leg of
lamb.

But it'll turn out the same old way.

Your brain needs basting.

Oh, this is exciting. Did you ever have
dinner with the president before?

Sort of.

Yeah, once about three years ago when I
was in Hawaii, Jerry Ford came into a

restaurant where I was eating.

And you asked him to join you? No, he
bumped into my table and spilled a bowl

soup in my lap.

What did you do?

Something resembling the limbo.

Good. We were waiting for you guys.

The governor wants to try out some toast
on you.

I kind of like number three.

You're not supposed to tell him, Pete.
Well, I'll shift him around so you won't

know which is which.

Oh, okay. Now, what do you think of
this? To the president who is forthright

courageous.

Sir, it doesn't say anything.

I mean, anybody can be forthright and
courageous.

Well, not just anybody, Clayton. I mean,
Benedict Arnold, for example.

He wasn't forthright and courageous.

Well, why don't we just say that to the
president?

He's no Benedict Arnold.

Well, maybe I better stick to something
traditional.

Sir, I've taken the liberty of making a
list of topics for dinner conversation.

Clayton, I'm perfectly capable of
carrying on a conversation by myself.

Yes, I'm very well aware of that, sir.

But you shouldn't miss the opportunity
to demonstrate your knowledge of

affairs, perhaps a touch of foreign
policy.

You think I'm going to impress the
president by reading off cue cards?

No, a politician who can read is always
impressive.

Governor.

Governor? Yes.

May I take a minute of your time?

Yes, of course. What is it?

I'm afraid there's going to be one less
person at your dinner party this

evening. Well, I hope you don't mean the
president. No, no, no, sir.

We have found a possible security risk
on your staff.

What? Who?

Well, the person in question is Benson
Dubois.

Me? You've got to be kidding. There must
be some mistake. I'm afraid not, sir.

What's the problem?

Problem is, we are trying to determine
who you are.

Well, as far as I know, I'm Benson
Dubois.

Oh? Army records indicate that Benson
Dubois died in Korea in 1952.

Agent

McMullen,

what you're telling us can't possibly be
true.

It's ridiculous.

There's got to be a screw -up somewhere
in Army records. That is one

possibility. But for the time being, we
have to assume that Benson Dubois is

dead. Well, for a dead man, I'd pay an
awful lot of taxes.

Listen, I can vouch for this man. I've
known him for over six years, and during

all that time, he's always been a living
Benson Dubois.

If he's not Benson Dubois...

Who is he?

That's what we hope to discover.

Oh, come on. I can't believe this is
happening.

You guys are acting like Benson's a spy
or something. I'm afraid I can't comment

on that, sir.

No comment.

You're in big trouble, Benson.

I'm not in big trouble. The guy who
screwed up my army records is in big

trouble. Now, now, now, let's calm down.

Agent McMullen, uh, Tom, is merely doing
his duty.

Well, I'm tired of everyone doing their
duty on me.

I'm sorry, sir. I'm simply following
procedure.

Listen, uh, Agent McMullen, Tom,
whatever your name is, why don't we just

the FBI records for my fingerprints and
settle this entire mess?

You have an FBI record?

My military records. Oh, right. We
intend to run a fingerprint check, but

meantime, we have to isolate you from
the president.

Now, we're going to have to confine you
to your office. It's merely routine.

Agent Bartlett will remain there with
you.

Oh, so I'm being sent to my room without
dinner?

If you'll come with me, sir. Now, wait a
minute.

Why would Benson pretend to be somebody
else for 30 years?

People have gone to greater lengths to
topple the government.

This is stupid. You don't actually want
me to believe that this man died in

Korea. Again, no comment, sir.

Ah, well.

Don't worry about it, Governor.

I'll go on to my room without my dinner.
But I can tell you one thing. If I died

in Korea and this is the afterlife, it's
damn disappointing.

Now, listen, I think we can convince the
Secret Service that Benson DuBois is

Benson DuBois.

Now, let's list what we know about him.

He's very intelligent.

Right, right.

I'm not to put too fine a point on it,
sir, but he would have to be intelligent

to be a spy.

Okay,

so I'll put it on the other side, too.

And I'll tell you one thing. When
everyone else has gone home for the

Benson is still here working. You have
to give him that.

What? Hard working.

Of course, on the other hand, that does
leave him alone here with access to a

great deal of very sophisticated
communications equipment.

I'll tell you what.

I think you're just looking in the wrong
area. Now, let's talk about some of his

more personal qualities, like for his
hobbies.

Oh, he loves to travel and take
pictures.

What am I saying?

Benson is an all -around guy.

He's got a nice job, fancy car, plenty
of girlfriends.

You just described James Bond.

All right, now, come on.

Nobody has said that the man we know as
Benson DuBois is a spy.

Well, sir, that's obviously what they
suspect.

Yeah, otherwise, why would they put an
armed guard on him?

Benson, a Russian spy.

No wonder he doesn't like me.

Miss Cross, that's ridiculous. There are
a hundred reasons not to like you.

Oh,

that didn't come out right.

Let's not turn against each other.

You know, this is dumb. We haven't
proven anything.

Yeah, we have proven one thing. We have
proven that none of us know Benson as

well as we thought we did.

You haven't proved anything to me.

I'm going to find Agent McMullen and
tell him I think the whole thing stinks.

Haven't they heard anything yet? Sorry.

You know, this whole thing is a big
mistake.

Maybe.

You think it'll get cleared up by the
time the president gets here?

Possibly.

You ever say more than one word?

Rarely.

You must be great at parties.

Master of small talk.

Funny.

Listen, I'm getting cooped up in here.

Aren't you?

Can I go down and get a cup of coffee?

Sure.

Kitchen.

Proceed.

Do you guys ever work with Gladys
Knight?

Agent McMullen, I've got a word with
you. Yes, sir? I want to register a

protest against your treatment of my
budget director, Benson DuBois.

I hope you people have made some
progress in clearing up this

Actually, I was looking for you, sir.

We just received the results of the
fingerprint check.

Good! I'm sure Benson will be happy to
hear that.

I don't think so.

The prints we sent to Washington don't
match those on file of Benson Dubois.

Now, if you'll excuse me, the
president's due in 20 minutes, and I

secure the grounds.

This can't be happening. I can't accept
it.

What's going to happen to Benson now?

Sir, I am afraid it's time that we start
thinking about protecting our own

interests.

I don't care what you say, Pete, and I
don't want to hear any more. In my

I know he's Benson.

Denise, the feds are not going to make a
big stink about this unless they have

some facts. Well, even if he turns out
to be a Russian spy, I still like him.

This is very upsetting.

Well, it could be more than upsetting.
If it turns out that Benson is not who

says he is, then, sir, I am afraid you
can kiss any further hopes for a

political career goodbye.

Clayton Benson is Benson.

Sir, I'm sorry. That is simply not
clear. It is not...

I just

came down to get a cup of coffee.

Hello.

Benson.

Benson, right? I knew that.

Hi, Benson.

Hi.

Hi.

Sir.

What matters now is that that man,
whoever he is, is under a cloud of

and we must figure out a way to distance
this administration from that cloud.

Clayton. Yes, Benson. I can hear you.

Benson, what are you doing here?

I'm getting a cup of coffee. What's the
matter with you people acting so

strange? Benson, I hate to be the one to
tell you, but your fingerprints didn't

check out.

What?

Can you believe that?

How many times can those bird brains in
Washington screw up?

This is a screw -up, you know.

Benson, whether or not...

We believe it. The fact of the matter is
milk has been spilled and we have to

avoid getting any of it on us.

Hmm.

Is that the general opinion held in this
room?

Benson, you're my friend.

No matter who you are.

Pete?

I'm basically a journalist. I try to
remain neutral.

Governor?

Benson, this is very...

Difficult and confusing.

Well, I'll tell you what's difficult and
confusing.

Standing here watching you people
conduct a witch hunt.

Methinks he doth protest too much.

Clayton, I'm in a foul mood and I'd be
perfectly happy to take it out on you.

It's hard to believe Benson is a
Russian... spy.

Is that what they found out? No, not
yet. But believe me, it's always the guy

you least suspect.

Well, I never suspected Benson.

See? Wait a minute. You guys are talking
like Benson's guilty.

Well, honey, let's just say that right
now it doesn't look good.

But there's no way.

Benson's our friend.

Think of all the things he's done for
us.

He sure has gotten me out of a lot of
jams. He was best man at our wedding.

Helped me get my citizenship papers.

Without him, I'd never gotten reelected.

I do have to admit he's come to my
rescue on several occasions.

Right. So, what it boils down to is
Benson is a very, very good man.

Right. Or he is the most devious spy
that ever lived.

This is incredible.

Even my own friends don't believe me. As
Nietzsche once said, Out of chaos comes

order.

Blow it out of your flannels, Dan.

Can we come in?

Sure. You three lost?

Vincent, I just want you to know that
from now on, I'll be standing behind

Don't say things like that, Krause. It
gives me bad dreams.

Sorry, we're late. Denise can't walk
very fast.

Hey, that's not fair. I'm walking for
two.

So, what's this all about?

Well, I just didn't want you to think
that...

We thought that what they thought would
change the way we think about you.

I can see a lot of thinking went into
that thought.

Benson? Leighton?

I just want to go on record concerning
your questionable status that I

wholeheartedly support whatever the
governor's position is.

Leighton, if you're going to be two
-faced, why do you wear the ugly one to

work?

Governor? Yes.

The president will be here any minute.

And I have some news for you. Now, just
hold your horses, Agent McMullen. I've

got some news for you.

I want you to tell the president that if
he wants to meet with me, I will be

here in Benson's office with Benson.

In that case, so will I.

I'm staying, too, Benson.

Yeah, right.

Yeah. We're all staying.

Put that in your free ear, Tom.

Bunsen, we're with you all the way. Now,
that won't be necessary.

My news is that Mr.

Dubois has been cleared.

It seems you were the victim of a
computer error at the Army Records

Well, that's a modern army.

Used to be they blamed everything on the
enlisted man.

Ben, let's get to our posts.

Well, I guess we owe you an apology,
Bunsen.

Not me. I always believed in you.

The rest of us owe you an apology,
Benson.

I feel pretty ashamed of the way I
acted.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

I suppose I would have acted the same
way in a similar situation.

That's the terrible thing about
suspicion.

Yeah, we just gave in to it.

I guess what really matters is that when
the chips were down, you all stood by

me.

And that took a lot of courage.

Well, let's not stand here bumping our
gums. We got a president to meet.

I can't believe it. He downy meets the
president.

Benson, I am so nervous. I'm afraid I'm
going to do something stupid in front of

the president. Do you have any advice?

Here, go to your room and stay there.

Very funny.

Well, it was worth a try.