All language subtitles for benson_s05e03_god_i_need_this_job

Come in.

Governor, do you have an aspirin?

Uh, no, I don't think so, Benson. Why
don't you try Miss Krause?

No, I've got a headache. I don't need an
upset stomach, too.

As your head aches, they kind of go...
Governor,

Governor, don't do that.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You seem a little irritable. I certainly
am. I just wasted an entire afternoon

with the Public Utilities Committee.

I gave an opening statement covering
everything from economic impact on low

-income households to corporate
responsibility, and the only thing they

think they asked me was, where'd you get
your tie?

the rate hike passed. Of course it
passed.

The rich guy gets richer and the little
guy gets littler.

I'm fed up.

Come in.

I'm sorry to interrupt, sir, but I have
a doctor's appointment.

You're in the wrong office.

How's the arm, Clayton?

Oh, in a couple of weeks I should be
back to normal.

Back to normal? You've never even been
close to normal.

He's a little irritable.

Public Utilities Commission shot you
down, eh, buddy?

No, they didn't shoot me down. In fact,
it was a very friendly meeting. They

even asked me, where'd you get your toy?

Well, I'm afraid I've got some more bad
news for you, Benson. You know that

health care bill you're so fond of?

Yeah, what about it? Well, the Finance
Committee stuck a rider on it, a salary

raise for the legislature.

Oh, those bunch of creeps. It's Chapman,
isn't it? Well, I'll veto it.

We can resubmit it next session. Next
session is nine months from now,

There are senior citizens waiting for
that money today.

Benson, Benson, calm down.

It's just politics.

It's not just politics, Clayton. It's
people suffering.

That's what politics is.

Clayton, would you leave me and Benson
alone?

Sir, I thought we were going to
discuss... All right, sir.

If that's the way you want it, that's
just fine.

Benson's in a bad mood.

and I get blamed for it. That's just
fine.

What is it?

Well, it's more bad news, Benson. It's
about Jessica. Jessica Tate? Did they

find her? No, no. She's still missing.

It's just they're going to petition the
court to declare her legally dead.

Isn't that a little drastic?

Well, I'm just a cousin.

The family isn't asking my opinion.
They're just informing me.

Well, this really makes my day.

The Public Utilities Commission sticks
it to the poor, the legislature sticks

to the elderly, and the Tates are trying
to stick Jessica in the family plot.

What in the world is wrong with people?

Well, I'm sorry, Dunson. I know it's
depressing trying not to let it get you

down. I'm afraid it's too late for that.
It already has gotten me down.

I'm afraid I just don't feel like
getting up again.

I'll see you later.

Poor Jessica.

Why poor Jessica?

Oh,

Benson, I've never been poor in my life.

What? Jessica, what are you doing? here.
We were just talking about you. Where'd

you come from?

You won't believe where I came from.

First of all, you see, I was kidnapped
by revolutionaries and taken to South

America, and then I went to Connecticut,
and then I was kidnapped again and

taken to South America.

Then I went to heaven, then I came here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. When you say
heaven, do you mean heaven or some

town in Georgia?

Oh, heaven. You know, the real thing.
God, angels, the whole ball of wax.

Oh, Benson, you should see heaven.

It's really a lovely place.

Jessica, you haven't changed a bit.

Benson, did Denise go home yet?

Uh, yes, Cross. I'm afraid you missed
it. Come on in. Come on in.

Look who's here.

Yeah.

Look at that.

It's your chair.

my chair across, but look who's in the
chair.

Is this some kind of joke?

She can't see me.

Only you can see me, Benson.

Is this some kind of joke?

Who are you talking to?

You mean to tell me you don't see
anybody in that chair?

Do you?

and I'm tired of playing games.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, Kraus, wait,
wait.

What?

Come here, I want to show you something.

What now?

I just want to show you something. Just
stand still.

Oh.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Five. It's not such a great trick.

Uh, don't you have something to do in
the kitchen?

You just asked me to stay.

Maybe we should talk about this in the
morning. Where are you going to spend

this evening?

The same place I always spend it.

I just thought I'd hang around.

Why don't you come to my place?

When will you get it through your head?
You don't turn me on.

I can see you, but she can't.

Because those are the rules.

Isn't that neat?

Hell no, it's not neat.

Wait a minute. I'm talking to myself.
She's not here.

She's a figment of my imagination.

Well, maybe I should explain.

This is terrific. A figment with an
explanation.

See, it's all because of heaven.

Well, I mean, not actually heaven,
because I was in a waiting area outside

heaven. You were in heaven's lobby?

But I have seen heaven, and it's
stunning.

It looks a lot like the MGM Grand.

I can prove you're not here. If you were
here, you'd have a good reason for

being here. Oh, I do have a reason.

Why couldn't I have ulcers like
everybody else?

It all started when I filled out this
application for heaven. Application?

I suppose there's a written exam, too.

And a credit check.

I need a vacation.

A long vacation.

You see, I applied to be an angel
because I look wonderful in chiffon.

They said to me, of course, that I was
no angel, and they were right. I mean,

the things I've done.

Not to mention the things I've thought.

First off, you don't have a reason.

Oh, yes, I do. You see, I have to do a
good deed on Earth so that I can qualify

for my wings.

Qualify for your wings? I'm listening to
this. I'm sick.

Either that or I'm having a conversation
with a dead person.

I don't think that I'm dead.

Then you're alive, but invisible.

That doesn't sound right either. There
are only two choices.

I think that I am somewhere in between.

Yeah.

I think I'm somewhere in between, too.

In between one oar in the water and no
oars in the water.

I'm going to go home and get a good
night's sleep, and when I return, this

all be over. Good night, Jessica. It was
wonderful seeing you again. Lock up

before you vanish.

Oh, good morning, Ben.

Good morning, Cross.

Look who's here.

Who, who, who?

All the kitchen chairs.

Perhaps you'd like to introduce them to
your office chairs.

Yeah, I'm sure they'd like that.

About last night, Krause. No need to
explain, Benson. So you talk to your

You're not the first middle -aged man to
go cuckoo.

I am not cuckoo.

That's your opinion. In my opinion,
you're Dipsy Doodle.

Benson? Oh,

Benson, I've got good news. I vetoed
that health care bill this morning. Good

idea. Old sick people don't vote anyway.

Benson! Just a minute, Benson. We're all
on the same side.

I am not on your side, Clayton. You've
been against this bill from the

beginning. I was trying to be pragmatic.
I was playing devil's advocate.

We know. He's had you on retainer for
quite some time.

Benson, if you'd just listen, you'd find
out that I resubmitted the bill.

In its original form, at my suggestion.

It won't pass, but we'll make our point.

Did he come drunk?

I'm sorry I brought the whole matter up.
I'm going back to my office, if that's

all right with you.

Did you want some coffee, sir? Oh, I
don't need any coffee. My adrenaline's

already pumping.

But thank you for asking anyhow,
Clayton. What are you still doing here?

Benson, most of the time, I like your
direct approach. I'm not...

lay this one off on me. You got yourself
into this all by yourself.

I don't think I've ever seen him this
angry. What a glorious day.

I've never seen Gene lose his temper
before.

You really ought to be careful what you
say, Benson.

Okay, I've got to face some facts. Fact
one, she's here. Fact two, no one can

see her but me. Fact three, I'm not
confident to be listing facts.

Oh, Benson, why can't you just accept
the fact that there are certain things

don't understand?

That there are bonds of friendship that
are so strong that their energy can send

a message out through time and space.

Next time, send a postcard.

Anyway, I just dropped by to say good
morning before I take off.

You're leaving?

Yes. I'm going to be out all day today
looking for a good deed.

Will I see you this evening?

That depends on whether I'll be seeing
you.

I was afraid of that.

Hi, Benson.

What? Oh, yeah, hi.

You okay?

Some say yes, some say no.

Anything you want to talk about?

No. No, thanks for asking.

Well, you never know. I might be able to
help.

Okay.

What do you know about angels?

Are we talking baseball or theology?

I'm talking about angels with wings and
a halo. Too bad.

I could have told you about baseball.

Everybody else gets a visit from their
relatives.

I get a visit from an angel.

Dipsy doodle.

ready to price padded wallpaper.

Did you say something?

Oh, me? Oh, no.

I, uh, just, uh, thinking, uh, out loud.

This is going to be much more difficult
than I thought, Benson.

I need your help. What do you need my
help for?

You're the one with friends in that big
casino in the sky.

What can I do for a good deed?

How about feeding all the hungry
children of the world?

See, you think you're so smart. I'm not
allowed to do that because that would be

considered divine intervention, and man
is supposed to solve that problem.

Hmm, fat chance.

How about world peace?

Man?

Racial harmony.

Definitely man.

Well, what in the world do they handle?
Lost luggage?

What do you want, Clayton?

At three o 'clock this afternoon, the
Finance Committee will rehear your

testimony on the health care bill.

I am not going to testify again. Let him
read the transcript from the last

meeting. He's kind of cute.

When are you going to realize that you

can't do things like this?

Yes, I can.

If you insist on maintaining this
childish attitude, you're going to wind

with nothing.

If you don't get out of my office,
you're going to wind up with a mass set

arms.

The committee meets at three o 'clock.
Be there.

Oh, Benson, that's a wonderful idea.

I'll fix Clayton's arm. Make one arm
like the other.

No, wait!

Clayton, are you all right?

This is not going to count as your good
deed, you know.

in, got his coffee, said some nasty
things to me, and left.

There's nothing strange about that.

He seemed normal to me.

Well, Governor, he's been sitting in his
office talking to himself all day.

The health care bill was the third bill
in a row he's lost.

Maybe the pressure's getting to him.

Well, so we are all agreed.

Benson is Looney Tunes.

Maybe I should talk to him.

Aaron!

Hudson, you have a minute?

Sure. Come on in.

What's up?

Bunsen?

Ah, I beat around the bush.

I'm worried about you, Bunsen. Well,
you're not half as worried as I am.

Just a minute.

I need to talk to you.

Now we're alone.

That makes two of us.

That's right.

You and me.

Nobody else need ever know anything
about this conversation. Now, tell me

wrong.

Well, I don't know. I just feel like
I'm... Don't stop, Hudson.

Banging my head against a brick wall
here. That's right. Get it off your

You win one, you lose two. What's the
point?

Now, go on.

Think I've got snagged you?

Oh, it's big luck, not you.

See how he's looking at you?

He thinks you're a seven -layered
fruitcake.

You're not helping any.

Would you like to speak to a
professional? They're going to come and

away, Benson.

What was that all about?

Aerobics.

Governor,

thank you for stopping by. I appreciate
all you've done, but I...

I don't want to dance.

Oh, well, listen, me either.

Take my advice. Get some professional
help.

Good. Now we can talk about my problem.

Your problem?

My co -workers and my boss think that
I've gone into the cuckoo closet.

I'm not sure they're wrong.

I adore you, and I always have, but when
you're in this kind of a mood, you're

no good to anybody.

I'll come back later when we can talk.

I don't think so.

Could you leave me alone for a while?

Okay, sure.

Come in.

Governor, you got a minute?

Sure.

About this afternoon, I just didn't want
you to think that I

had...

Slipped off your pulley?

Yeah.

It's just that I don't think I'm cut out
for this kind of work.

Maybe it's selfish, but I need to feel
like, you know, I'm doing some good.

You are, Benson.

You are a little good here, a little
good there, and all that's up.

Go there, Benson!

Goodness!

The health care bill passed the finance
committee without the rider.

What? What happened?

Well, Chapman wasn't there, so Rigetti
ran it through based on Benson's earlier

testimony. Chapman wasn't at his own
committee meeting? Why?

Sir, I think you're going to love this
story.

After working out at his health club, he
got dressed, put on his toupee, and

headed for the Capitol. Well, apparently
the glue wasn't dry because the wind

blew the toupee off his head and into
the park. And while he was searching for

it, a kitten jumped out of a tree onto
his head and got stuck on the glue.

Chapman and the kitten were rushed to
the emergency ward, and by the time they

pried the kitten off of Chapman's head,
the meeting was over and the bill had

passed.

Could you repeat that?

I can't. So,

Rigetti rammed it through, huh? Well,
maybe I should get with him and we can

work on some strategy for the general
session.

Oh, Benson, it's good to have you back.

The press is waiting for a statement.

Come on, let's gloat a little bit.

Oh, sir.

Congratulate me.

I did my good deed.

Congratulations.

Well, it seems like things worked out
for the best for both of us.

What was your good deed?

Amazingly enough, something very small.

You see, I was in a park, and I helped
this little kitten out of a tree.

You know, that's the first time I've
laughed in weeks.

Thank you, Jessica.

Well, what are friends for?

Oh, I've got to fly.

Fly? Yes.

This is goodbye, Benson.

Already?

Seems you just got here. I still don't
understand any of this. You know, you're

being here, you're not being here.

I don't understand it myself, but I did
learn one thing.

I am positively not dead.

I'm in a coma somewhere in South
America.

But don't worry, I'll get out of it all
right.

I always knew you'd find a loophole.

I've missed you, Benson.

I wish we didn't have to say goodbye.

Will I ever see you again?

Oh, sure.

It's a small cosmos.

We'll have lunch.

Then let us not say goodbye.

Okay.

I love you.

And I love you.

Take me with you, cowboy.

I've outgrown Abilene. I'm not a cow
-town girl anymore.

That's no good. I should be more
forceful.

Take me with you, cowboy.

I've outgrown Abilene. I'm not a cow
-town girl anymore.

Out it takes.

Who are you talking to?

I'm speaking to your gentleman caller.

Do you see anybody in that chair?

Do you?

Of course not.

Gipsy doodle.