Original subtitles

It's okay, Cross. I'll come back when you're through shedding your skin.

I am exercising, dummy.

I want to lose ten pounds. Have you weighed your tongue?

Good morning.

Oh, good morning.

Hey, Mr. Krause, I brought you some nice fresh vegetables.

You better not track mud from that garden. You're going to have nice fresh

boozes. Oh, Mr. Krause, I take the mud off of my shoes. Good morning, Ben.

Good morning, Charlie. How's it going?

Oh, it's a beautiful day.

The sun is up, the sky is blue, and the squash is ripe. What could be better

than that?

Well, the moon is up, the stars are out, and I'm in the arms of Lola Falana.

Fat chance.

No, say that across there. Better she see him, she go crazy.

Oh, that'll remind me. I brought you something.

You brought me Lola Valana?

No.

Zucchini. Not even close.

Good morning, everybody.

Good morning.

Katie's just been showing me her little garden.

Charlie, well, thank you for all your help. Oh, no, sir. She do all by

I grew this.

It's a carrot.

George, you'll be concealed there, can't we, Benson?

Yeah, that's a fine carrot, a splendid carrot, about a one -carrot carrot.

Miss Krause, do you think we could have it for dinner tonight?

Oh, sure. How do you want it, baked or glazed?

Can you cook it till the wrinkles come out?

You've got to be on your way to school.

Sometimes it feels like I've spent my entire life in school.

See you guys later. Okay, bye.

I wonder why kids hate school.

Probably, because they're the only ones who have to go.

That's a good point.

Well, I'd better get back to work. I've got to sing it to my garden, otherwise

nothing should grow. Well, enjoy your vegetables.

Oh, Charlie, you're always bringing us vegetables. What can I do to thank you?

Stand in the garden and scare the crows away.

Mr. Krause, you want to do something nice for Charlie?

Next week is my birthday.

How about you make me a little cake?

Oh, your birthday. Congratulations, Charlie. How old are you going to be?

How tall are you? 62.

Like an estimate.

Ben, how many times I gotta tell you, you just as old as you feel.

And me, I feel like 39.

40 tops.

Ah, men are so lucky. They never show their age.

Hey, Benson, what would you guess my age to be?

Krause said two topics I never discuss with women. That's my income and their

age. Come on, Benson, guess.

You won't offend me.

What's the point in guessing?

Denise, do you have the housing report?

No, Benson.

Oh, by the way, I wanted to say... Thank you for the zucchini.

My pleasure.

What'd you do with it? Gave it to my mother.

The housing report?

The zucchini. My mom cooked it. But she did finish the housing report.

Yeah, boy, what do you think she can do with a zucchini?

She bakes it. She fries it. Where is it now?

We ate it.

I meant the housing report.

Is this going to be one of those...

He fakes left. He drives towards the basket.

Passes to Dubois. Dubois spins.

Drives forward.

Bams Downey by the tire and says, what in the hell are you doing in my office?

You're so foul. Two shots.

Says, when did my office become Dubois Club?

Actually, we came in to see if we could help you.

Well, you can help me.

Take Magic Downey back to the locker room and close the door behind you.

to see what sort of progress you're making on this land development bill.

Clayton, I know you've looked through everything on my desk, so you tell me. I

resent the implication, but from what I can see, you're a little behind.

And your little behind is in my chair. Now, will you get out of here? I got

to do.

Tell him about the three -day weekend.

Benson,

there are only two weeks left to the legislative session. If you get that

out today, we can all take a three -day weekend.

Benson.

Don't disappoint us. I want a three -day weekend as much as you guys do, but I

can't do it if you're going to sit here in my office. So please.

There, everybody is listening. I was just looking at the calendar.

Yes, sir, we know.

You do?

Yep, we're going to try for a three -day weekend.

We are?

You think the legislature will pass it?

Governor, he means if we get caught up in our work, we can all take a three

weekend. Oh!

Oh, what's that got to do with the calendar?

I think I'll work at home this afternoon.

You said you were looking at the calendar. Oh, I was.

25 years ago today, I got out of the Navy.

This makes today my silver naval anniversary.

Congratulations.

Boy, that is a day I will never forget. Of course, I would have if I hadn't

looked at the calendar.

The stories I could tell.

Well, I gotta run.

Characters I met during the war.

You're not going to try to name them all now, are you, sir? Oh, I think I could.

Thank you.

The sad part is remembering all my buddies that died over there.

What would ever happen to them?

Well, I'd love to discuss theology with you, sir, but I have a lot of work to

do. Oh.

It's almost lunchtime, anyhow.

You know, Benson, I think I'll have a bowl of navy bean soup.

What's wrong, Charlie?

I can't understand you.

Subtitles, Charlie, subtitles.

Read the debt.

You know what that is? That's a notice from the state of my retirement. My

retirement. You don't got to read the debt.

Who does it matter?

I'm too young to retire.

Too young, Charlie? You're at least 72 years old. Uh -huh. See? Even I fool

I summon a tree.

The mandatory retirement age in this state is 70. You've already beat the

by three years.

I beat?

Oh, excuse me. I don't know. Life is one big game show.

Be timed out. You lose next day.

Some people would consider retirement a happy occasion. Some people don't love

their job.

I love my job, and I do very good. You couldn't find nobody to bear.

I got a 50 -year knowledge.

You want to waste that?

Waste that.

Wait a minute. Come on, Charlie. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Sit down.

Calm down.

Relax.

Why'd you come in here with this?

Because you big shot and you could fix it. Charlie, believe me, I am not a big

shot. No, told me. I got the ear. You big shot. And you could do something for

your friend.

Okay, okay. I'll make some calls. See what I can do.

God bless you, Benz. You know, I got a cousin and he's a priest in the Vatican.

I'm going to have him make a nice interview.

Something special you want?

Two tickets to Rome.

You know, Benz, You're a wonderful human being.

A little bit greedy, but a wonderful human being.

I'm going to make you a nice special zucchini.

Charlie, I don't really like zucchini.

Hey, zucchini, good for your brain. That's fish.

Good for your eyes. That's carrots. How about your sex life? I'll have it for

lunch.

Oh, come on, Jennifer. You know I like your mother.

What does she mean, it's time I met the family?

People don't say things like that unless they've been led to believe something

that we both agree is too soon to even talk about.

Okay, well, let's talk about it tonight. Then we can talk about me not talking

about it then.

I'll see you later, okay? Bye -bye.

Jennifer, huh?

Huh, Gina?

Use that cute little voice with her.

So what is it you want?

it's fair for people to turn their backs on Charlie after all these years?

Katie, I have already discussed this with Mrs. Alvarez.

Who's that?

She's the head of the state personnel board. If anybody can help, she can.

But if she can't? Well, he'll... Get the ax.

Why would they pass the law to hurt people like Charlie?

Well, they thought they were passing a law that would be good for people like

Charlie. It's funny how old people are treated like children sometimes.

I don't get you.

They're always being told what's good for them instead of being asked.

So, how come you're growing up so fast?

Hormones, I guess.

Excuse me, Benson. Mrs. Alvarez is on line one. Thank you, Denise.

Hello, Mrs. Alvarez.

Were you able to come up with anything?

Wait a minute now. Wait, wait now. Don't start quoting me facts and figures.

This is a human being we're talking about, not a statistic.

Oh, yes, he is old, but he still qualifies as a human being.

No exceptions?

Well... Thank you very much, Mrs. Alvarez. It's nice to know that in our

years, we'll all be ignored equally.

Bye -bye.

Well, Benson, he did your best. I'm sure Charles will understand.

I hope so.

I'm just glad I'm not the one who has to tell him.

Oh,

Benson! Charlie is worried because he hasn't heard anything about his job.

Excuse me, Benson. I don't mean it to bother you. You're no bother. He said

he'll help you. He'll help you. Right, Benson?

Thank you, Benson. Thank you. Charlie, I talked to Mrs. Alvarez. You see? He

talked to Mrs. Alvarez. Oh, that's nice.

Nice. She said there's nothing she can do.

You see? She said there's nothing she... You call that helping?

I'm sorry, Charlie.

You mean that's it?

I'm a finish?

No, well, maybe not. You know, maybe there's a loophole.

Okay, a loophole.

All of my life, I never have a one loophole.

I go through the depression.

I go through the two walls and the three kids, and I lose my beautiful wife, and

I never see no loophole.

Well, I don't blame you for being angry.

I'm no angry, Ben.

Tell you the truth, I'm scared.

I never was so damn scared in my whole life.

Well, I did what I could do.

It wasn't good enough.

Krauss, it's the law.

It's a stupid law.

Well, I agree.

Then do something about it. I'm only one man. The man Charlie counted on. Well,

I haven't quit yet. Good. Then get on it. Right. Today. Right. And let me know

when you've made progress.

Right.

I hate it when she's right.

You want to send a bill to the legislature now?

Well, it's the last chance we have before they make Charlie retire.

If we work through the weekend, we can ram it through.

One more hour, and I'd have been on a plane to Rosarito Beach.

This bill is important, Pete. One of these days, you're going to be old.

and I won't have any memories of Rosarito Beach.

Vincent, aren't you going a wee bit overboard? I mean, most people want to

retire when they reach Charlie's age.

Yeah, but those who don't shouldn't be forced to.

Charlie should bow out gracefully. He has passed his point of usefulness.

his point of usefulness? Have you seen his zucchini?

Sir, it's irrelevant remarks like that that add nothing to the conversation.

Now, Clayton, when I'm talking to you, it is a nothing conversation.

All right, all right, we've gone far enough. No, sir, I can go a lot farther.

But you won't. Well, no.

You know what? You guys really don't need me for a bill. Oh, yes, we do,

With this kind of deadline, we need all the PR we can get in newspapers,

television, radio.

Right.

I think it's a waste of time.

Clayton, we know what you think. I'm through as long as I've made myself

That's a bell, Clayton. But I agree with Benton. It's time we stopped

discriminating against people because of their age. Here are the notes. Get your

staff to work on it. Yes, sir.

It's a waste of time.

I'm going to get busy too, Pete.

Okay, who's going to be the spokesman on this thing? Oh, this is Benson's baby.

So you'll do interviews?

Anything. Okay, I'll get back to you.

Come on, Benson. Don't be so upset. We're going to go for it.

Well, going for it and getting it are two different things, sir. Oh, that's

true. This reminds me of the fox and the chickens.

Oh, when did you start doing fables?

Well, once over I was staying with Uncle Eddie and Aunt Flo and they had a

chicken ranch.

That's when you started doing fables?

Anyway, they had these chickens. And presumably a fox.

Have I told you that? Sounds familiar.

Well, I wrote myself a chicken fat and get feathers stuck all over me.

We're in virgin territory.

It was my plan to catch the fox that had been stealing Uncle Eddie's chickens.

Uncle Eddie said it could not be done that the fox would smell me. So that's

when you decided to take a bath in chicken fat.

Right, right.

And I'm closer it couldn't be done because the fox would hear me. So you

what I did? I tied pillows to my feet.

Now, if you try to picture this, Benson, I'm sneaking along, you see, very

slowly. Governor, Governor, Governor, I'm not going to be actually trying to

catch a fox, so I don't need the entire procedure.

You don't want to hear it? All right. The point of the story is that there

always be people who tell you it can't be done, so it's up to people like us to

just go ahead and try it anyway.

That low -pressure system is just going to be there the rest of the week.

Oh, Patty, you remember yesterday I said we were going to have clear skies and

sunny weather?

Well, I was wrong.

Okay, all you hot dogs.

Take your best shot.

You know, Benzer, I don't think I'm going to do this. I'm too nervous.

Just calm down, Charlie. You'll do fine. Yeah, but this is St. Paul. Then what

if I say something dumb?

Don't worry about it. They'll think you're the weatherman.

So, what's the forecast?

It's for rain, rain, and more rain.

Bad news for all you solar energy folks, but good news for all you gardeners,

huh? And speaking of gardens, look what I grew for you, Patty.

How about that?

A tomato for a tomato.

Oh, thank you, Jerry.

In the studio with us today is Vincent Dubois.

State budget director and a leading proponent of a bill designed to repeal

mandatory retirement age in the state.

Mr. Dubois, why do you want to see the age limit removed?

Well, Patty, because this is an outdated law.

You tell him about it. How would your change affect the people who want to

retire? Well, it wouldn't actually affect them at all. As a matter of fact,

would have a choice, and that's what we're talking about. Every citizen

be free to compete in the marketplace.

That's why I come into this country.

This is Charlie Rosano, and he's a perfect example of what I'm talking

Here's a man with 40 years of experience. 50.

50 years experience, and he's still a gunner strong.

50 years of experience, and now the law... He's telling him he's through.

Well, Mr. Rosano, what do you have to say about this?

Me?

I don't got nothing to say.

You had a lot to say when I was talking.

I don't know nothing about the politics.

But anything what they grow in the soil, I could tell you everything about.

You see that tomato there? Let me show you something.

You see that green stuff on the top?

That's no good.

I prove it to you. Here, you take a bite.

You see that face?

You know why?

He pick it too soon.

They don't use enough fertilizer either. I couldn't understand the gods and the

people why they don't use the fertilizer.

After all, the cow give it for free.

Johnny, get back on the subject or the fertilizer is going to hit the fan.

Let me tell you people something. Look at this corner.

When you go to the market, don't be ashamed. Pull the bag. Pull the bag.

look. If it's currently not soft and plump and good and yellow, no take. You

could holler at the producer man, but don't take that junk to your family.

Thanks for that tip, Charlie.

Hey, let me tell you something else. You got a garden?

You got a vine borer in your garden?

You got a leaf hopper?

Onion and maggie?

I told you, the best pesticide. You mix up some jalapeno juice, black pepper,

and talcum powder.

Yeah, it kills your bugs and your corn won't have diaper rash.

With time running out, do either of you have any final comments?

Well, Patty, if we could get back to the retirement bill for just a moment here.

I'd like to say that it is easy to ignore the problems of the other fellow,

when it comes to age discrimination, someday each of us will be the other

fellow. Thank you, Mr.

Dubois. Charlie?

I'll tell you something, kiddo.

You've got a nice alignment.

You're pretty cute yourself.

Well, thank you both for being with us.

We'll be right back with a report on health club rip -offs.

You know something, Benz? You don't come off too good in television.

You should relax.

Charlie, we went in there to talk about the retirement bill, and you spent the

entire time talking about vegetables.

I did?

I'm sorry.

But you know something, Benz? The vegetable, she excited me.

Well, that's one the moral majority never heard of.

you are, Bunsen. I'm afraid I have some bad news.

What, the retirement bill?

It didn't pass.

I was sure we could get it through. You did a fine job. We lost by four votes.

Well, we'll try again next session.

That'll be too late to help Charlie.

You mean that's it? Goodbye, Charlie?

I'm afraid so, Miss Cross.

Do you want me to tell him, Bunsen?

No, sir.

I'm the one who got his hopes up. All right.

Tell him for me, I'm sorry.

It's a tough one to lose.

Don't worry, Benson.

I'll stay with you. We'll both tell Charlie. No, that's all right, Gretchen.

can handle it. No, no, I want to help.

What are friends for?

Thanks. I appreciate it.

Hello, anybody home?

Ah.

Eh.

Eh.

Do it out.

Sit down, Charlie. Hmm?

I don't know quite how to tell you this.

Thanks, folks.

Why'd you long to say?

Well, let me begin by saying that this is not a reflection on you.

You know, we all like you very much, and we think you're doing an excellent job.

As you know, we're not dealing with an individual. We're dealing with the law.

Thanks, Krause.

You don't mean that... Just let me finish, Charlie.

Laws are not made to hurt people. They're made to help.

Help?

So, what do you say that the bill for the older people, she don't pass, huh?

Right, right. And that means that we can't do anything about your job.

I'm so sad for you. No, Mr. Krause, you no be sad.

Don't worry about it, Charlie.

Well, Charlie, we gotta worry about you.

Two weeks ago, you were so upset about this that you couldn't talk in English.

Not two weeks ago.

I wasn't a big star on the TV.

No, Mr.

Krause. No, the man from the Channel Assembly called. He said, Charlie, how

like to be the garden expert on the 5 o 'clock news?

And I say my shows.

So I'm going to be like my paisano, Joe, the greener grocer.

Charlie, listen. You know all this. Why don't you let me get myself all worked

up over this?

Why stop you with such a nice moment?

You mean I got all upset over nothing?

See, for nothing, Mr. Krause, there's lots of older people out there. Somebody

got to care for them.

And it's up to you, Benz. You got to work hard and push it out the retire

through. We will, Charlie.

After all, not everybody you raise gets to be a TV personality.

I'm locked.

I'm Italian.

Like they say, I see you under the tube.

Oh,

Charlie Rosano on TV.

Some people got all the luck.

Well, you know, I thought for years that you should be on TV.

Oh, like a Julia Child?

No, like Wild Kingdom.

Hey, Benson, did you catch Charlie on TV last night?

No, for some reason I missed him. He did the history of the zucchini.

Every reason.

You know something, Vincent?

Charlie's got the right idea. I'm never going to retire.

They'll have to carry me out of here in a box.

Isn't that how they brought you in?

I had an Uncle Klaus who lived to be 106. He worked until the day he died.

What did he do?

He raised angora cats.

What did he die of?

Hairballs.