Original subtitles

On the last episode of Benson, if you really want to be governor again, run as

an independent.

Do we have enough time to organize a campaign?

The question is, do we have the money?

Sir, when we lost the party's support, we lost all our campaign funds.

Well, we're back in business, gang.

I'm running for governor.

For a million dollars, I mortgage the mill.

So the governor has decided to enter the race as an independent candidate.

He faces two tough opponents, ex -gridiron hero Bud Resnick and the

leader in the polls, Senator Ernest Chapman. And now we're doing everything

can to get the campaign rolling.

So there you are. Well, how does it feel to be a movie star?

This isn't a movie, Krauss. This is a commercial for the governor's campaign.

Are those tissues coming out of your collar?

No, my undershirt exploded.

They put this in there to keep makeup off your collar.

You know, when I was a teenager in Bavaria, I was in a movie once.

I think I saw it. You were the blob, right?

I was only in one scene.

I was in love with a German boy who tended his sheep.

You played a love scene with a German shepherd?

Oh, Miss Cross, I'd like you to meet the director of our commercial, Wayne

Franklin. How do you do?

You know, I was in some movies once.

Not now, honey. Just get me some coffee, okay?

Okay,

Governor, can I see you in your chair, please? And Benson, stand where you're

going to stand. And let's hurry. Time is money.

Come on, Clayton. The makeup man was just making conversation.

He insulted me. He said I have a big nose.

He took it the wrong way.

Peter, the man said, let me powder your beak.

Governor, this commercial is about you. Is there any reason why Clayton and I

have to be in it? Look, I put you guys in it because it gives the governor a

dynamic action, working with his staff.

And subliminally, it says that he interacts with all kinds of people.

Well, I heard that.

Well, I guess we're all here.

Well, except my cameraman. Excuse me, gentlemen.

Jimmy, get...

Look, guys, I know this isn't a lot of fun, but it's only four weeks to the

election. We need the TV exposure, so hang in there, okay?

Okay, let's get this turkey on the road.

Now, Governor, I want you to take your opening greeting from there, then stand,

cross over there, sit on the desk, and take the rest of the spiel from there.

Now, any questions?

Benson, can we change places? This isn't my best side.

You don't have a best side.

Okay, can we make one?

You mean without a rehearsal?

Well, why waste it? Are we rolling, Jimmy?

Yep. Okay.

Commercial, take one.

Action.

Good evening.

Thank you for letting me come into your homes.

Which way do I go?

Cut. Look, Governor, just move it on over there and sit on the end of the

okay? Okay, here we go.

Gatling commercial, take two.

Action.

Good evening.

Thank you for letting...

Take 14.

Action.

Good evening.

Thank you for letting me come into my home.

Take

31.

Action.

Good evening.

Thank you.

for letting me come into your homes.

Can Benson go to the bathroom?

Take 49.

Action.

Good evening.

Thank you for letting me come into your homes.

I have to say.

We won't have to wait much longer, sir. You're speaking in ten minutes.

I'm going to go check and see if that auditorium is full yet.

According to this thermometer, it's cold enough to hang beef in here.

Judging from the smell, I'd say they have hung beef in here.

Wow, you should see the snow now.

Covering the campaign bus.

Sir, that auditorium is really freezing.

Maybe we'd better move on to another town before it gets dark. Oh, no, Pete.

don't want to disappoint that crowd.

Well, actually, sir, there isn't that much of a crowd. How many are there?

It's hard to say.

Could you give us an estimate?

Well, I estimate one.

A crowd of one?

Farmer. Came on a snowmobile.

What? all this way to see me, I owe him a speech.

Governor, why don't we invite him in here? We could use his body heat.

And in conclusion, let me say a vote for Gene Gatling is a vote for

independence.

Well, Mr. Jurgensen, what did you think of the speech? Oh, wonderful.

Just wonderful.

Does that mean we can count on your vote?

Yeah, you can count on my vote.

If I was a citizen.

Ah, Governor. I'm Martin Rand. I'll be moderating tonight's debate. I just

wanted you to know that Senator Chapman's office just called and he's

coming. But Senator Resnick is on his way. Good. Then I'll only have to debate

Resnick. What do you mean you debate Resnick? The Governor has laryngitis.

It must be the cold weather and all the speeches he's been giving.

So I just tried to do too much.

to do. Well, Mr.

Dubois will be filling in. He's the state budget director. Oh, that's great.

have one no -show and one second stringer.

Oh, well, I guess we'll have to live with it. Come on, let's go into the set.

It's almost air time.

Mr. Dubois, you'll be sitting right there.

Benson, Benson, we'll be watching from the green room. Good luck.

Good luck. Oh, the microphone.

Eddie Martin!

Yes, sir. When he was the college football star, I was the head

Oh, really?

Did he take you to the prom?

Marty, could you get me a cup of coffee? These old football knees are acting up.

Oh, we'd be glad to get it for you, bud. You sit down.

What are you doing here at Dubois?

Well, the governor has laryngitis. I'll be debating you.

Is that a look of fear that crossed your face?

Here's your coffee, bud.

Thank you.

Marty, I don't like question number nine. Can we drop that? Oh, sure thing,

Anything for you. This guy already knows the questions.

I'm quiet. These are always on.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the gubernatorial debate.

I'm your moderator, Martin Rand.

Senator Chapman is unable to be with us tonight, and speaking for Governor

Gatling is Benson Dubois, the state budget director.

And, of course, we are joined by that gridiron great, that esteemed member of

the state senate, a man whose slogan is, this Bud's for you, Bullet Bud Resnick.

She scored while I was in the locker room.

Our first question is, are you in favor of a state minimum wage?

Mr. Dubois?

Well, first of all, let me say that the only reason I'm up here is because the

governor has come down with a case of laryngitis.

Now, insofar as the question, do I favor a state minimum wage, that is, does the

governor, I would say on that.

The sound of that horn means your time is up.

Would you care to answer that question, bud?

Well, Marty, folks, I look at it this way.

You need 11 men.

to play football.

That's the minimum number.

Without 11, you aren't playing football.

Baseball, maybe.

Basketball. But not football.

You've got to have the minimum if you want to play the game.

This guy's got bad knees all the way up to his ears.

I might caution you, Mr. Dubois, that your microphone is on.

And now, for our second question.

From a viewer in the northern part of the state, why should I vote for you,

Dubois? Well, you shouldn't vote for me. Thank you very much.

The question is, Bud, why should I vote for you?

I think the viewer knows the answer to that.

I'm sure they do.

And very nicely stated.

Now, for our third question. Wait a minute, wait a minute. This debate's a

You haven't let me answer any questions.

All right, Mr. Dubois, I'll let you answer this one.

Isn't it true that the governor was very angry at losing the nomination from his

party? And didn't he join his campaign as an independent for the sole purpose

ruining Senator Resnick's chance?

Now, that's not fair.

Well, admit it. He's a spoiler.

Governor Gatling has no ulterior motive.

He only wants to serve the people another four years.

Now, the other candidates are committed to serving special interest groups.

The people know that Gene Gatling is an honest man, and when it comes down to

election day, I'm sure that they'll make the right choice.

That's all I have to say. Back to you, Bud, for sports highlights. Good night.

Oh, I don't know about this, but it's driving me crazy.

Sure you knew it was going to be a close election.

Oh, yeah, not this close. This is damn near a freeway tie.

Hey, guys.

Hi, everybody. We brought a couple of bottles of champagne from the party.

How are things going over at the hotel?

At 11 .30, when you were leading, everybody was drinking to celebrate your

victory. Then at midnight, when Chapman took the lead, everybody started

drinking because you were losing. And by 1 o 'clock, when you all tied again,

everybody was drinking because you still had a chance.

If you do win this thing, sir, you may be the first governor to get a crawling

ovation.

Sir, sir, the computers are back online again. What about Daly County?

Well, we should be getting some results shortly.

Well, that's where we're going to win it or lose it, in Daly County.

Wonderful! We did it! What?

The Philadelphia Flyers won their game tonight.

Well, that saddles it. We can all go home now.

I'm sorry. I just switched over to get to hockey school.

Hey, hey, hey, you guys better watch this.

Governor Gene Gatling's independent bid for a second term has failed.

Well, might as well go home. Now, sir, it's not official yet. They said

apparently.

And in that tight three -way race, Senator Bud Resnick has narrowly

Senator Ernest Chaplin.

Well, this didn't turn out exactly the way we expected, did it?

Pete, I'll need a confession speech.

Yes, sir.

I'd better call Bresnik and congratulate him.

I'm sorry this happened, sir.

We're all sorry, Governor.

Well, we did our best.

We've got that to be proud of.

You know, I never thought I would lose.

Excuse me, Governor.

Yeah. What the hell are you doing here?

I just dropped by to thank Gene for the real nice telegram he sent me.

You know, he even offered to go over the playbook with me.

After all, I am going to be starting quarterback in a few months.

Let me ask you something.

How long have you been playing without a helmet?

Bud, here's that farm subsidy program we've been proposing. I'd appreciate it

you'd try to keep it alive.

All right, Gene, but no promises.

They're going to have to call this play from the sidelines.

See you.

Do you get the feeling that he's blocked one too many punts?

Batson, I don't much like losing, but especially not to that tackling dummy.

Chapman doesn't like it either.

He's demanded a recount in Daly County.

Ah. Senator Chapman's always been a sore loser.

What do you want to see me about?

Well, I got the figures back on that gasoline tax revenue.

Yeah? Seems like we're going to take in 5 % more than we expected.

Oh, that's terrific. That means that next year we could... Oh, what am I

There's no next year.

You gave them a run for their money, sir.

Yeah, that's right.

I got nothing to be ashamed of.

Besides that, I can always go back to running my lumber mill.

You're lucky, sir.

You get to go back to a place you love.

Of course, when I can't pay off the mortgage, the bank will take it away

me. Then where am I?

Now, now, no self -pity, sir. Oh, that's right. No self -pity. Stand up.

What have I lost? An election, huh?

Another chance to serve the people.

And my business, my home, job, everything three generations of my

so hard to get.

See, isn't it better than self -pity?

Oh, God, I wanted to win.

It's only natural, sir. Everybody wants to win. But by definition, whenever

there's a winner, there's got to be a loser.

And in this case, you're the... Not the winner.

That certainly makes me feel a lot better.

Maybe you'd rather be alone. No, no, Hudson.

Maybe I'd rather be alone.

I'm just in a crummy mood.

Ignore me.

It'll go away in three or four years.

I tell you what, it's almost lunchtime. Why don't we go out to a fancy

restaurant? We've never done that. That's a good idea. Let's go to

That'll cheer us up. There'll be people laughing, having a good time.

That's Gene Gatlin. He just lost the election.

Poor Gene, laughing on the outside.

On the other hand, maybe we should send out for deli.

I'm trying to find an apartment, and I don't understand all these

Like what?

Like this one.

1BD, 1B, SMKT, PVTPL, CLOP.

Oh, that's easy.

One bedroom, one bath, small kitchen, private pool, clothing optional.

Clothing optional? You mean for $2 .80 a month, I get clothes, too?

Krause, it means that the people in your apartment complex are allowed to go

around naked.

Me? When people rent these places?

Not as fast as they rent the places next door.

Well, I'm glad I checked with you. I had an appointment to see these people this

afternoon. What were you going to wear?

Pins, darling.

So, Krause, you're really moving out, huh? You're not going to stay for the

administration? No way. I'm not working for some dumb jock.

Then what are you going to do?

You know what I'd really like to do?

What? Take one of those three -month train trips across America. Really get

know this country.

Oh, sounds like a great idea. Why don't you do it? I get train sick.

So, I guess it's just another crazy dream.

Oh, Kraus, we all have crazy dreams.

Oh, yeah? What's yours?

Well, I've always wanted to play jazz piano in a smoky little nightclub.

I didn't know you played piano.

I don't, Kraus. That's why it's a dream.

It's a pretty dumb dream if you don't have any chance of doing it. Well, it's

better than throwing up on the Amtrak.

What a dumb dream.

What's a dumb dream?

Oh, Vincent wants to play jazz piano.

I don't think that's dumb. I always wanted to be a rock and roll drummer.

See?

You play drums, Denise?

Of course.

It would be a pretty dumb dream if I didn't.

But my ultimate fantasy was to be an astronaut.

See, Vincent, Denise has wonderful dreams. She wanted to be the first woman

the moon.

All you wanted was to be a dumb lounge act.

How would you like to be the first woman on the moon?

Hey, guys.

Oh, hi, Pete, Clayton. We were just talking about our dream.

Oh, yeah, that was a terrific one.

I'm on an island all alone with this Vegas showgirl who can't keep her hands

me. No, no, no. We're talking about the way you want to spend the rest of your

life. On an island with a Vegas showgirl who can't keep her hands off me.

Well, at least my dream is attainable. I've always wanted to be a poet.

I was once compared to Milton.

Burrow?

Hardly. Actually, I once received a literary merit award for this piece of

verse. I ask myself, if every night begets the dawn, who is the father to

day? But no one answers when I ask.

Perhaps they've gone away.

I ask myself if every day must die.

At dusk are we to mourn each day, but silent night makes no reply.

There's nothing left to say.

And yet, who am I to question life as it winds from light to dark and all the

birds do sing?

The earth revolves, but not round me. The sun, it's only king.

So take me, earth, for all I'm worth, and teach me day to day to live and

and love and work, and now and then I'll pray.

Amen.

There is an explanation.

That's okay, Clayton. We're all under great strain.

Good night, sir. Good night, Constable.

Is that anything I can help you with? No, thank you. I was just trying to

out how to pay off that mortgage so I wouldn't lose the lumber mill.

Well, I thought you were going to raise that money through contributions.

You would be surprised how difficult it is to raise funds for a campaign you

just lost.

But you got the profits from the mill.

Won't be enough.

Housing market's so sluggish, there's not much call for lumber.

I took a look at your firm's operation when we were up there.

And the milk and paper itself.

You sure?

Absolutely. Of course, you're going to have to eliminate some of the middlemen,

start marketing the product yourself, and you'll need some new equipment and

some additional personnel, but it can be done.

That's interesting.

Sit down, will you?

What are your plans for the future?

Oh, I've got a little money saved up.

I've always wanted to own my own shoeshine stand.

How'd you like to be my partner at the lumberman? Oh, sir, I don't have that

much money. I'll jail you, partner, but you could work your way up to the top.

I'm not climbing any trees.

You'd be the controller.

You'd be vice president in charge of marketing.

Are you kidding?

Was I kidding about budget director?

No, but look what you got me into.

So what do you say?

Well, if you promise to tell shorter stories, it's a deal.

Okay, partner.

It'll be wonderful, but it's just you and me and Katie and Miss Krause.

Krause? Yeah, I asked her to be my housekeeper.

You shouldn't do things like that without consulting your partner.

Governor! Governor!

Governor! Great news!

She's not coming with us.

Shut up, Benson. This is important.

Calm down, Miss Cross. What is it? I was watching a rerun of Gilligan's Island

when they broke in with a special report.

Daddy, Daddy, I was doing my homework when they interrupted Gilligan's Island.

You won the election.

Oh, I wanted to tell him.

What happened?

The recount in Daly County was in your favor.

You beat Resnick by over 2 ,000 votes.

Hello? Yes, yes, we just heard.

Thank you very much. Good news. The Secretary of State was watching

Island. What?

It's official, Governor.

I'm still the Governor's daughter.

I'm the Governor.

Oh, I really wanted to be Governor.

Yeah, yeah, we just heard Clayton. Yeah, come on over, man. We're going to

celebrate.

Make a toast.

Well, let's see.

Here's to Senator Chapman who had the... wisdom to call for a recount.

Yeah!

And to Gene Gatling, the only independent to ever be elected governor

state. Yeah!

And to four more years, sir.

Yeah!

Spencer, don't feel bad about the lumber mill. We can still be partners.

Well, no need to rush into things, sir. We've got four more years to think it

over. Denise, could you hurry up and set the timer?

Okay, everybody.

Smile.

Benson, would you change places with me? The camera doesn't favor this side.

Neither did Mother Nature.

Here we go. Now, nobody move.

Why are we doing this anyway?

Well, I want a picture of all the Maine people that helped me get re -elected.

Well, Benson, it looks like you and I will be together for four more years.

I demand a recount.