Original subtitles

On the last episode of Benson, the party doesn't think Gatling stands a chance

of re -election. Shouldn't the voters have a right to decide that? Oh, it's

late. Oh, he's a nice man and all, but he's a lightweight.

The party already has a candidate.

Senator Bud Resnick. I don't want to be an ambassador.

I want to be governor.

And you damn well should be.

There's no room in this party for this nonsense Harper's trying to pull. Does

that mean you'll be supporting the governor?

Naturally. The delegation from Somerset.

proudly cast its 12 votes for the nominee of this party, the man of the

and the governor for the next four years, Bud Resnick!

You've gone crazy.

Well, Benson, I'm so bored.

Have you considered work?

Oh, what's the point of work?

Everything I do gets to the governor's desk and just sits there.

Come on, Clayton, there's always work to do.

Hey, guys.

See, even Pete's working. Beck, what's a seven -letter word for actor Peck?

You're doing a crossword puzzle?

I'm trying to keep busy. Until the governor okays my stuff from last week,

there's nothing else to do.

There, you see?

What do you think, actor Peck?

I tried stage kiss, but it's too long.

Try Gregory.

The gardener can't even speak English.

Peter, one third of the three musketeers is not caramel.

to work, huh?

Talk to the governor. He's the lame duck.

Well, don't be so hard on him. He just lost the nomination.

Give him some time to get back on his feet.

Yeah, that poor guy's been hurt, battered, and bloodied.

Who is hurt, battered, and bloodied? Keep circling, Krauss. You'll find him.

Oh, there you all are. I've been looking for everybody. I have wonderful news.

We're going to get back to work? Yes, at the lumber mill.

Great. We can cut the budget with an axe.

Listen, I'm sorry, fellas. I know I've been sort of holding things up, but I

just can't work in my office.

Well, use my office.

I need to change the scenery.

I'll put a bush in it.

A lumber mill's a perfect place to work.

I've never been to a lumber mill. Sounds like fun.

Mm -hmm. For Woody Woodpecker.

The mountains? What, are you crazy?

Oh, Miss Cross, I want you to come along, too, to look after Katie.

Oh, thank you, sir. And I could also do the cooking, if you like. Oh, no, up at

the lumber mill, Mountain Man dishes out the grub.

Grub?

Yeah, what do you expect from a guy whose name is Mountain Man?

Crazy to this?

Oh, when you meet Mountain Man, he is real.

I wonder what one wears to a lumber mill.

Something one doesn't mind spilling grub on.

Good morning, Benson.

Oh, you're up early. I knew you'd get into the spirit of country life.

Well, I'd get into the spirit of St. Louis if it would keep me warm.

I'll have a fire going here in no time. Hope you slept well.

Let me ask you something. Do the crickets have a party around here every

Crickets? You didn't hear any crickets? Oh, you get used to all sorts of wild

creatures around here.

Good morning.

Call the ranger station.

It's Bigfoot.

Watch it, Benson.

Oh, don't you love this cold weather?

I'll have a fire going.

day. I had no idea the wilderness could be so exhilarating. The air, the

mountains, the cheerful chirping of the crickets.

Benson, throw off your blanket and become at one with the element.

Governor, is there less oxygen at this altitude?

Maybe that's why I can't get this fire going.

This place is great, huh?

It's freezing.

You, I mean, everywhere you look, nothing but trees.

It's a lumber mill. What'd you expect, rows of corn?

Hi, everybody.

Hey, you were outside already?

Yeah, I took a walk along the lake.

Everything's just the way I remember it.

Doggone, I can't get this fire started.

Yeah, everything.

Do I smell something burning?

Not in here.

Smells like coffee.

Oh, I'll bet Mountain Man came by to make our breakfast. You're gonna love

Mountain Man. He's a legend around here. Sort of a local Paul Bunyan. Folks say

he can out -climb a polecat, stare down a moose, and wrestle a bear.

Must have an interesting social life.

And he makes great flapjacks. Come on, Miss Cross, let's help.

Yeah, I've never met a man yet who knew what to do with a skillet.

When he meets you, he'll know.

Sir, where should we set up the office?

How about a holiday inn?

Let's not worry about the office yet.

Yeah, we got to eat breakfast first.

Yeah, this is your first day here. I want you to get acquainted with the

That's very thoughtful of you, sir, but I do have a deadline on that highway

budget. Oh, well, we can work on that tonight, Benson. There's nothing much

to do around here after dark. Yeah, one more day won't hurt.

Yeah, I'm going to do some exploring. I saw this great mountain from my window.

Oh, well, that's Devil's Peak.

Only people like Mountain Man should try that climb.

Of course, Mountain Man can do anything.

Can he make a fire?

You know, I think the sun's beginning to warm things up in here.

Grub's raining.

Is that Mountain Man?

Yeah.

What do you think?

I think you made a mountain out of a molehill.

Benson, I see you're all set up and ready to go.

Yes, sir.

Did you like the hayride last night?

I don't think it'll replace the crosstown bus.

Can we get started?

It's 2 o 'clock.

Oh, 2 o 'clock. I promised Katie I'd take her out in the boat.

But what about the work, sir? Oh, don't worry, Benson. I won't be gone more than

an hour. Unless she wants to roll back.

You want to see me about something?

I see you're working.

I don't want to be no bother.

I'll just wait till you're done.

You mountain man!

Shh, don't go.

You hear something?

No wonder you're known as a legend in these parts.

Oh, mountain man.

Oh, hi, Blondie. I need to check something in this recipe.

A mountain man is teaching me ways to add variety to our menu.

You have a rabbit, deer, moose, and possum.

That's not a menu. That's a Disney movie.

So, mountain man, when do I turn over the squirrel?

When his bottom's crisp.

Come across. I'll just have eggs.

Don't much like squirrel, huh? I haven't tried it. And please, don't tell me it

tastes like chicken.

Don't know.

I'm a vegetarian.

Well, you are what you eat.

So, how do you feel about Blondie?

Krause? About the same way as I feel about a burst appendix.

Don't say I didn't check with you before I stole your woman.

How long have you been up here on the mountain?

Long enough to know about human nature.

There's something electric between you two.

More like static clean.

You mind if I get back to work?

Makes me know never mind.

But he's real upset.

Who? Who I've been talking about.

Gene.

He's being dumped by the party.

Reminds me of the time when he was 14.

He ever tell you that story?

Probably.

Well, sir, he spent every day out there on the lake practicing for the big log

rolling competition.

He was happier than a kitten following a leaky cow.

Can't get much happier than that.

Do you interrupt Gene when he tells his stories? Oh, sorry, sorry.

Anyway, when the big day finally came, the judges raised the age

limit to 16.

Well, Gene was so mad, he started his own log rolling contest and offered $10

prize money.

And the governor won, right?

No, fell off that dang log and lost the 10 bucks.

Is there a point to this story?

No.

Gene's stories have points.

Mine are pure entertainment.

I'm so glad we had this time together.

You're right, we did.

Well, the world burns easy, you know.

I'd best get back to the kitchen.

Kitchen.

Guess he knows the shortcut.

Benson, this may be my favorite spot in all the world.

You better enjoy it quick because the boat is moving.

Don't worry, Benson. You've got your sea legs in no time.

There's not enough legs I'm worried about.

How old is this boat anyway?

Oh, I've had it since I was a boy.

You're not enjoying this, are you?

Well, I'm sort of torn, sir.

Half of me wants to be back at the lodge in a warm bed.

And the other half?

Back at my apartment in a warm bed.

Don't be upset, Bunsen. After all, I kept my promise. Just you and me. No

interruptions. Lovely, sir. And where do I plug in the adding machine?

You're upset.

No, sir. I got up at 5 .30 in order to get some work done, not go fishing.

I didn't bring you out here to go fishing, Bess.

Well, I don't do water ballet.

The truth is, I never caught a fish in this lake.

Then why'd you bring me out here?

Can I tell you a story?

How far is it to shore?

I'll go to swim around it.

What's the story?

This is a story about a fellow that grew up just on the other side of that

ridge, right over there.

And his life was going along pretty much the way he expected.

And some people came to see him one day and told him that they needed him to be

governor.

And then a few years later, they came back to see him and they said they

need him anymore.

And that's the whole story.

Sir, I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but you left an awful lot out of

that story.

Oh, I don't think so, Benson. I'm just trying to describe how I'm feeling.

It's not bitterness, not self -pity. It's

frustration, helplessness. I don't know how to describe it.

Maybe you're angry.

No, not angry.

I've been there, sir. It's anger. No, it's not.

Sir, you never lie to other people. Don't lie to yourself.

So you don't understand.

You're going to tell me that I don't understand, that I don't know what

feeling? You let me tell you a little story.

One day, when I was out on the road, I went by a diner to get a hot meal.

The place was empty, but the guy still took an awful long time to take my

Well, he finally did.

But when he brought the food, it wasn't even cooked.

I mean, it was raw.

When I complained, he started shaking violently.

But he did manage to smile. He said, that's the way we cook it here.

He shoved a check at me and told me to pay up.

I refused.

He grabbed a meat cleaver and said, give me the money.

I didn't.

And he raised the meat cleaver as though he was going to strike me.

Well, all I could think to do was stare at him.

He finally...

Backed off yelling and screaming and he went back toward the kitchen cursing and

calling me names that I Thought I'd forgotten I

Walked out the front door got in my car and drove off Bouncing you won.

No, sir. I didn't mean Can't win with people like that

But you can't hold on to your dignity party tried to humiliate you

The way that guy tried to humiliate me.

Don't tell me you're not angry.

I know I was.

All right, Diamond, I'm angry. Then don't cave in.

What am I going to do? I mean, I'm out.

The party dumped me.

That's their problem. You can't change them.

Your problem is how you're going to handle it.

Handling? How?

Fishing.

That's not what you did when they threw you out of the log rolling competition.

Did I tell you that story?

Yes, sir. Mountain Man did.

He said you went into business for yourself. That's right. I started my own

contest. Why not do the same thing now?

Oh, no. I haven't been on a log in years.

I'm talking about the election, sir.

If you really want to be governor again, run as an independent.

That's without party support.

I'd stand as much chance of winning as I would of catching a fish in this lake.

Ladies and gentlemen, I call you the next governor of our great state, Gene

Gadley.

Sir, when we win this election, it will prove that people really do make a

difference. Oh, that's right, Clayton, but it's sure not going to be easy.

But we can do it, sir. I'm sure of it. The element of surprise is on our side.

That's true.

Neither party expects a challenge from an independent.

Why not?

Because they never win.

It's hopeless, sir. We haven't got a chance.

Clayton, would you find an opinion and land on it?

I am just trying to face the reality of the situation.

Well, the reality of the situation is that the governor is in the race and

going to help him win it. And we can do it, sir. I'm sure of it. Do we have

enough time to organize a campaign?

The question is, do we have the money?

Sir, when we lost the party's support, we lost all our campaign funds.

Don't worry, Benson. I've got a list of all the supporters who helped us in the

past. We've got to get on the phone right away.

How can we raise all that money on the phone?

Easy. We're going to reach out and touch someone.

Sir, I made sandwiches so that you could work through lunch. Oh, thank you, Miss

Cross.

What kind of sandwiches are they?

Just regular ones, nothing special.

You can't do nothing special with snake meat.

Oh, son, well, you're easy.

Maybe we should save some for Pete. He'll be hungry when he gets back.

He's not back yet?

The dang fool probably got lost.

Lost? I told him not to try it by himself.

Try what?

Scaling Devil's Pete.

So that's why he borrowed my mess kit.

You mean you got a kit to make you look like this?

If Pete doesn't get back before it's dark, he'd be stranded up there all

Maybe somebody should go after him. Okay, I'll pack up my gear.

Uh, Governor, with all due respect, Mountain Man can hardly find a mountain,

alone Pete.

Mountain Man, it has been a long time since you made that climb.

No, last time was just about four years ago, in 59.

Sir, I'll go with Mountain Man. Oh, sorry, Bondi. Those woods are plump full

nasty critters. Then one more won't hurt you.

Oh, the man's right. I'll go with him. Oh, now, sir, you can't go wandering

around in the woods. You're the governor.

Okay, you go.

Oh.

Well, I would, but I have some phone calls to make. Benson can go.

What? That's a great idea. Get going, Benson. Governor.

Oh, don't worry about us, Benson. We'll be fine. Now, wait a minute.

Don't panic, son. I know that area like the back of my hand.

I sure hope we find him before nightfall.

I hope we find him before you fall.

Now that we're back home, go to your room and stay there.

What's the big deal? It's not like I was lost.

Just didn't know how to get back.

I was fine. When you found me, I was building a shelter, wasn't I? You were

making a pile of leaves.

It's a shelter.

That's a nest.

Oh, hi, folks.

Hi, Governor. We found Pete.

Oh, hi, Pete.

So where's Mountain Man?

Well, he went straight back to his cabin. He wanted to get out of his wet

clothes. Yeah, he fell into a creek.

According to him, there was a footbridge at that spot.

Well, as long as everybody's okay.

Is there something bothering you, sir?

No, I'm just tired. Clayton and I have been working all afternoon raising funds

for the campaign.

Oh, yeah. Benson told me about that. How'd it go?

Well, we fell a little short of the 1 .2 million.

How much short?

1 .1 million.

You mean you only raised $100 ,000?

We gave it our best shot.

So the fat cats are afraid to back you, huh? Well, we don't need them. We can go

to the people for contributions.

Pete, without that million dollars, the people won't even know we're running.

Without the people, we don't stand a chance.

It's all over.

Look, Clayton, all I want to do is get the work done and make a smooth

transition to the new administration.

If we've got to go, let us at least go in style.

I am in total agreement. I'm simply trying to impress upon you that in five

months we're all going to be out of work and I, for one, intend to move up the

ladder. Painting houses or washing windows?

Good morning, mountain man.

Yep.

Beautiful day, isn't it? Cold.

Starting a fire?

Nope.

Well, at least I'm glad I got to see this place.

The governor has a real piece of paradise here.

It's just possible returning to the mill will be the best thing that ever

happened to him. Could be.

At least his future is secure. I imagine the mill provides a tidy income.

Yeah, and all the sticks you can whittle.

I'm really going to miss this place.

Well, I'm not.

Kraus is such a sentimental fool.

No, I mean I've made a decision.

When the governor comes back to the lumber mill, I'm coming with him. Katie

needs an understanding woman to talk to.

And you're going to give her some phone numbers.

I think you're making a good decision, Gretchen. You'll be very happy here once

you get used to the raccoon.

Yeah, I've already started to love the place almost as much as the governor

does. Where is the governor anyway?

Oh, probably upstairs packing.

Hey, guys.

It's almost time to go. Where's your luggage?

It's right over... It was right over there.

Mountain man, did you see our luggage?

Luggage? No.

But your laundry will be back Wednesday.

Hi, everybody. We're back.

Where have you been?

We took a walk into town.

Daddy had some great news.

We're back in business, gang.

I'm running for governor.

Only we don't have any money for the campaign.

We do now. I just borrowed it.

You borrowed a million dollars?

Mm -hmm.

How?

I mortgaged the mill.

Next on Benson, Gatling commercial take two.

Action. Good evening.

Thank you for letting...

to have the minimum if you want to play the game.

This guy's got bad knees all the way up to his ears.

Well, we did our best.

We've got that to be proud of.

You know, I never thought I would lose.