Original subtitles

Where it is, Mama?

Oh, Benson, guess what Arnold and I finally did last night.

Cross, you're not supposed to kiss and tell.

It wasn't kissing.

Then you're definitely not supposed to tell.

We got engaged. He gave me this ring.

Oh, isn't that wonderful?

Congratulations.

When's the big day?

Well, it depends.

On what? On his mother.

You see, he promised her that he would never marry during her lifetime.

And you're waiting... Until she dies.

Hoping for a June wedding.

You should be relieved to hear that.

Well, whenever it is, you're invited to the ceremony.

Thank you very much.

I wonder what she wants me to do, throw rice or dirt?

So, what do you think, Clayton? Is a vacation home a good investment?

That's hard to say, sir.

I'd have to ask my business manager. He does everything for me.

If only he'd come to work for you.

Good morning, Benson. Good morning, Governor.

Benson, I tried to phone you four times last night about those occupational

outlook figures.

Where were you?

The tenants' association in my building held a meeting, and they elected me

president.

Who on earth would want such a thankless job?

Nobody. But I was the only one late for the meeting, so they elected me.

I was late for a battle one time, and it won me the Purple Heart.

Well, that's a terrific story.

I've got an appointment.

See, I was late for this battle because of those training films on foot fungus.

Did you powder your feet in the Army?

No, sir. The Army had a tendency to frown on makeup.

Oh, in the Navy, they were always harping about the care and maintenance

feet. So this one time, I was down below powdering my feet when suddenly the

ship was under attack.

Oh, Benson, there's nothing worse than being in the wrong place at the wrong

time. You're telling me.

So I rushed up on deck, and there I was, under enemy fire, with no boots on.

Benson, I was barefoot.

Those were the days, wasn't it?

I'd have made it to the gun turret if I hadn't got hit.

You got shot.

No, somebody slammed a hatch on my big toe.

Broke it in three places.

So they gave me the Purple Horde.

You got the purple heart for stubbing your toe?

Benson, I was injured in combat.

Oh, another profile in courage.

Just an amusing story, Benson. I wouldn't have brought it up at all if

hadn't kept going on about the Tenants Association.

Well, I wasn't going on, sir. I just happened to mention that they elected me

president. Well, congratulations.

So what does a president do, anyway?

Well, mostly he just listens to the tenants complain about their apartments.

Why don't they complain to the landlord?

They would if they could find the weasel.

The building's registered under some dummy corporation and all we got is a

office box.

Call the Hall of Records and have them conduct a title search. Well, of course.

Why didn't I think of that? Beats me.

Sometimes you're really out to lunch.

Well, I may be out to lunch, but I never went into combat barefoot.

Never won a Purple Heart, either.

the name of the corporation.

What I need is the name of a human being I can yell at.

Relax, relax.

I'm not yelling at you.

These bureaucrats are sure sensitive.

Now, just take it easy, sweetheart. Now, who owns the building?

Who? Clayton Endicott.

The third?

You're positive?

No, no, no, no, no. I got his number.

Well, thank you very much, yeah.

Clayton, the landlord.

Clayton, when you get a moment, could you stop by my office?

Oh, he's fast.

Come in.

Benson, I know money's tight, but why can't you cut somebody else's budget?

Katie, I handle the state budget. If you're having a problem with your

allowance, your father's office is down the hall. I heard the libraries are

closing on Saturday.

We spent the entire fifth period arguing about it. All the kids blame you for

cutting the budget.

Well, all the kids are wrong. It's not me.

It's the legislature that's cutting city budgets.

Benson, libraries are supposed to be open when people need them. It's like

hospitals and donut shops.

Well, don't tell me, sweetheart. Tell the legislature.

How do I do that?

Well, you and your friends can start a petition, but you'd better hurry because

they vote two weeks from tomorrow.

Okay, Benson, I'll give it a shot. Thanks.

You know, it's not easy being a concerned citizen.

That's why there's so few of them.

Right.

Bye. Hello there, Princess, and how's my favorite little sixth grader today?

Give it a rest, huh, Clayton?

All right, Benson, make it fast. I'm due at the Capitol.

Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you. It's just that I needed some

expert advice, and I had nowhere else to turn.

Oh. Well, I suppose I can spare you a few minutes. What is it? You have money

real estate, don't you?

I believe my business manager has me involved in a few modest holdings.

Why, are you planning on making an investment?

Well, I'd sure love to, but there's so much I don't know. For instance, if I

owned an apartment building, would I be responsible for repairing holes in the

roof? Well, legally, you're responsible for all repairs.

Really? Mm -hmm, but...

There are ways around that. Oh, you mean they can't force me to maintain the

building? No, no, no, no, no. You misunderstand. They can indeed force

law is very specific.

But, uh...

Most tenants are woefully ignorant of their rights.

Rights? I didn't know tenants had rights.

Listen, everybody has some rights.

Look, just between you and me, in this state, all they'd have to do is put

complaints on paper and you as landlord would have 60 days to comply. If you

didn't, they could slap a lawsuit on you.

Oh?

Oh, my goodness, it's as simple as that. Well,

that's incredible.

Thank you.

It's my pleasure, Benson. Anything else? Yes, just that.

And with this? That's a list of the complaints from the tenants in my

Why are you giving it to me? Because, according to the Hall of Records, as of

the 27th of last month, you own that building.

I do?

Yes. And you've got 60 days to get your act together.

Tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to save you 59 days.

Sue me.

I don't know, Benson. Two members of the

same staff suing each other. It's got to be like the Yankee outfield.

Well, sir, Clayton left us no choice.

You know, as president of the Tenant Association, I had to recommend a

There was no alternative.

Well, the Cooper sisters wanted to hire somebody to rough him up.

So who's handling your case?

A lawyer named Philo Grillnick.

Crazy Philo Grillnick? I beg your pardon?

He was in my fraternity in college.

Crazy Philo.

Oh, he was like that cartoon character. You know, the one that always had the

rain cloud over his head all the time.

Anywhere Philo went, bad luck was sure to follow.

There's probably some other Philo Grillnick.

No, I'm sure it was the same one. Oh, he's a perfectly fine attorney.

I'm just glad to hear that he's practicing again.

Again?

Yeah, he took a leave of absence for a couple of years.

Had a breakdown.

Oh,

but he's perfectly fine now, I'm sure.

Just don't let him get near a cat.

Why does he always say things like that and leave?

Hey, Vincent, how you doing, Ed? Hi, Pete. Clayton, I want to speak to you a

minute. Peter, please tell Mr. Dubois that my lawyers have advised me not to

speak to him until after our day in court.

I don't think Clayton's talking to you anymore. Clayton, that's no attitude to

take. Clearly, Mr. Dubois has forgotten that he started it.

Well, you started it. I did not. You refused to consider the welfare of the

tenants. Please inform Mr. Dubois that I'm a businessman, not a social worker.

Yeah, well, Clayton doesn't give a damn.

Peter, if you're going to relay my messages, do it verbatim.

Oh, hi, guys. I'm glad I found you. Would you sign my petition?

Of course, sweetie.

We'd be more than happy to sign your little petition.

It's to keep the library open on Saturday.

There we go.

I'll sign it, too.

Thanks, guys. That'll make 241.

Think that'll do it, Benson?

Oh, Katie, I don't think that's going to be enough.

Can you think of any place I can go where there are a lot of people?

Sign the unemployment office.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Thanks.

See you later.

Look, Clayton, the governor is concerned about this lawsuit which is affecting

our situation here at work. Tell Benson that as far as I'm concerned, our work

situation remains exactly the same.

Tell Clayton he's right. As far as I'm concerned, he's a jerk.

Uh, Benson says... I heard him, you ninny.

Why do you have to talk to me like that?

Clayton, deliver your own messages, because I'm not talking to you anymore.

You tell him, Pete. No, you tell him. I'm not talking to him.

Where's my gold pen?

Can you hear something?

Can you take my gold pen?

Yeah, yeah, let me see.

Would you two grow up?

I'll get it.

You know... Oh, yeah, just a minute. Benson?

No.

It's for Clayton.

hasn't called yet, huh? No, I guess he's still in court.

How'd you know?

I've been sitting downstairs listening to you page the last half hour. Well,

sorry. It's my first lawsuit.

I feel like an expectant plaintiff.

You're really concerned about this, aren't you? Well, everybody's depending

me. I knew you'd make a good president. That's why I nominated you. So you're

the one.

You bet.

And I'm agent of Fudge.

Well, Molly, don't try to buy your way out of this.

And I brought my family album. I thought you might like to look at some of the

pictures. You also thought I wanted to be president of this association.

Now, here.

Here is my Uncle Bob and his new Stutz Bear cat.

Molly, I appreciate you trying to take my mind off all this. But you don't want

to see my family pictures.

Well... Oh, I can't blame you.

It's really just the memories of an old woman.

I can understand why they might not be important to everyone.

Mommy, I didn't... No, don't feel guilty.

Because you don't want to see them?

It's not that I don't feel guilty.

Are you enjoying the fudge? All right, all right, I'll look at the pictures.

All right, now, here.

Guess what this is.

It's a building.

What building?

An old building.

Doesn't it look familiar?

Wait a minute.

That's this old building? Mm -hmm. I didn't recognize it without the

I'm glad Uncle Bob wasn't around to see what they did to his building.

Did Uncle Bob own this building?

No, he designed it.

Then what on earth is this over here? Oh, that.

That's a picture of me playing Peter Pan.

Well, that's either Tinkerbell or the lawyer.

Hello? Oh, hey, Philo. How'd it go?

Hey, man, don't be joking around.

Look, this isn't funny.

all right, I'm going to bring the cat over to your office.

I knew that would bring you around.

No kidding.

Hey, that's great.

Thank you very much. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

He won? The court has instructed Mr.

Endicott to repair his building within 60 days. Oh, that's wonderful.

Oh, I am so glad you convinced us to go to the mat with him on this. The victory

belongs to all of us. No, it was your idea.

The tenants would have backed down if it hadn't been for you. Oh, come on. No,

the credit is all yours.

Come in. You know, we should celebrate.

All right.

Come in.

I've got some wine in the refrigerator.

All right, all right.

What are you doing here?

Well, I came to congratulate you on your victory in port and to post this

notice. Notice of conversion?

What does this mean? You're a born -again landlord?

No, it means that since I'm now forced to make all these very expensive

the only way I can recoup my investment is to convert this building into

condominiums. Condominiums? Of course, the current occupants will have the

option to buy. However, should you choose not to exercise that option, your

recourse will be to pack up and get out.

Hymeniums.

Does it say how much they'll cost?

Well, they start at $80 ,000.

I don't have $80 ,000. What am I going to do?

I don't know, Molly.

Well, you knew before.

Take him to court.

Let's fight him to the finish.

Well, we're finished now, Mr. President.

I'm going to see that you're impeached.

You are leaving early, Benson.

Yeah, I'm moving tomorrow. I've got to go home and pack.

I can't believe you are letting Clayton throw you out into the street. What kind

of man are you, anyway?

The kind who won't be forced into buying a condo.

Vincent, that place is your home. It has memories.

You're going to miss it.

Yeah, I did have some wonderful times there.

Like the time Arnold and I dropped by at 2 o 'clock in the morning?

That wasn't one of them.

Would you like us to come over and help you pack?

No, it's okay. Pete's going to lend me a hand.

It's no trouble. I just have to drive out and pick up Arnold at his private

office. Private office? Cross the man works in the toll booth.

Yeah. Well, he's a senior exact change man.

It's a tough job, Benson. People are always throwing foreign objects into the

change basket.

Oh, that's how he met you.

Daddy, I'm sorry. I just can't get enough sleep. Signatures on the

Katie, I'm sorry. I have to go make a speech.

Say, listen, why don't you come with me? There'll be a lot of people at the

federal building.

Okay, Daddy. What's the speech about?

I'm dedicating a plaque to a famous architect.

You'll love it. Anything to get more signatures. Fine.

Miss Krause, we'll be back in time for dinner.

Yes, sir.

Governor, I know it is none of my business.

What is it?

But we have to talk about what Clayton is doing to Benson.

Not now, Miss Gross.

Oh, yeah, I know you're busy. No, I'm just so steamed up about Clayton, I'm

afraid I'll say something that I'll regret later on. Yeah, Daddy's afraid he

might call him a nerd.

I could do a lot better than nerd.

So can I.

Now, listen here, you two. If you can't say something nice about somebody, don't

say anything at all.

Hello there, everybody. Sorry I missed you all at lunch today, but I had a

meeting with my contractor.

The sketches for the condo were breathtaking.

But I'm afraid I greatly underestimated the cost per unit. So, unfortunately,

I'm going to be forced to raise the price.

Never mind.

We can talk about it later.

How much do you want for this lamp?

Pete, this is not a rummage sale. I'm simply moving.

Yeah, but this would look great in my bedroom.

It looks great in my bedroom.

You know, I don't know why you're going to a hotel. You could stay at the

mansion until you find a place. I can tell you that in one word.

Krause.

Benson, you gonna save this?

Well, of course I'm going to save it, Pete.

It's my television set.

Just checking.

Don't you gonna throw anything out?

You if you keep this up.

Look, the governor's on TV.

Must be important.

He's preempting the green grocer.

I am very pleased.

Turn out at today's dedication, J. Robert Emerson was not only a famous

architect, he was also a very concerned member of our community.

Thank you very much, Governor Gatling. Incidentally, my daughter Katie is

involved in a public project right now that might interest your viewers. Right,

Katie? Daddy, this is embarrassing.

What project is that, Miss Gatling?

No comment.

Katie, this is your opportunity to talk to more than 241 people.

Oh, well, I think the library should stay open on Saturday.

Are you talking about the proposed budget cut?

Yeah. Some people don't have a chance to go to the libraries during the week.

They're too busy.

People have to speak up about this.

Hey, Katie is great.

You know, we could use her on the road next election.

She's got style. She's got charisma. She's got presence.

She's got school.

If there isn't enough money, maybe they need volunteers.

My friend Benson thinks... I'm sorry to interrupt you, Katie, but I'm afraid

we're out of time.

Don't you want to hear what Benson thinks?

Let the kid talk.

Thank you very much, Miss Gatling. Wait, I'm not finished yet.

Libraries are very important to our future.

She's right, you know. Thank you, Governor.

All you people out there, call your legislators.

Again, thank you, Miss Gatling. I'm sure the public will respond to your plea.

This is Morgana Nelson. Just a moment, Miss Nelson.

Isn't that the lady that lives downstairs?

Yeah. Who's she doing there?

This is Molly Emerson, the niece of the man that we honored today.

I watch you all the time. Thank you. Governor, I just wanted to thank you for

the wonderful things you said at the dedication.

I only wish my Uncle Bob could have been here.

Uncle Bob?

J. Robert Emerson.

Her uncle is the famous architect J. Robert Emerson.

I know, I can hear. No, Pete, you don't understand, no.

J. Robert Emerson designed this building. This is Morgana Nelson

from the Federal Building.

And this is Benson DuBois.

Reporting things are looking up.

And then when I walked into the cafeteria, all the kids cheered like I

kind of hero.

Well, you are a hero. If all those people hadn't seen you on TV and written

their legislator, the libraries would be closed on Saturday.

Yes, a first political victory. I'm really proud.

Chip off of the old block, right, sir?

Oh, I hope not.

He's on his way up. He's on his way up.

Everybody look like they're having fun.

There you go, Pete.

What is that you're wearing?

I'm just pretending I'm at a party.

Take that off.

Some party.

Boy, is he tense.

Ah,

Clayton, come on.

Come on in, Clayton. Join the fun.

Well, Benson, I must say you're being a surprisingly good sport about this.

Well, you know what I say. What's past is past. I'm sure if our positions were

reversed, you'd feel exactly the same.

Well, I suppose.

Still, I feel out of place. And after all, I am the reason you're moving.

We're getting it. We're getting it. Come on and make yourself at home.

What am I saying? It is your home.

and you're just in time. We were about to play charades.

Yeah, charades. And I have the papers with the movie title.

Oh, I haven't played charades since I was at Princeton.

Well, what are we waiting for? Who's going to go first?

Oh, I'll go first.

Okay. All right. All right. All right.

All right.

Okay.

Here we go.

That's a movie. Movie.

Right.

on with the game, sir. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, here we go.

Um,

come through over the cuckoo's nest.

How did she get that so quickly?

Takes one to know one.

Okay, Scott, let's see you show your stuff.

Dr.

Jekyll and Mr.

Hyde. Easy.

All right, ready?

It's a movie.

First one.

My own money.

My. No, no. My.

My. My. My. My.

My. My.

My. My. My. My. My.

My.

My.

History. History.

Historical.

Historical. My building is historical.

Gene Harlow.

Land.

Land. Landmark.

Landmark.

Landmark. I thought you people knew how to play this game.

What kind of answers are you giving me? My building.

historical landmark. Wait a minute.

My building is a historical landmark. It's the very first building designed by

J. Robert Emerson.

And that means you cannot convert it into condominiums.

I can't convert it. What am I going to do with this heap of bricks?

Fix it!

Fix it!

Here's to Clayton Indicott III, statesman, investor, landlord.

You've got 60 days.

Oh, Gretchen, that's a lovely ring.

Would you like to see a snapshot of my Arnold?

Well, it's everybody else's leftover an hour ago.

Don't be a party pooper, Benson. Molly wants to see Arnold.

Give her 50 cents. Let her visit him at the toll booth.

He's right. It is late. I'll see her tomorrow, Molly. Good night. Good night,

Molly. I thought she'd never leave. Cross,

what does that mean?

I wanted to be alone with you.

You're engaged.

Yes, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Now that Arnold has given me a ring, what does that entitle him to?

Combat pay.

No, I mean, is he allowed to take liberties?

Yes, one every 30 days.

Good night, Frank.