Original subtitles

When did you feed them as puppies?

People?

Was the steak still on sale?

Yeah, and that's the last time I do you a favor.

There are only five here. I asked you to get me six.

Well, I had to give one to the dogs to get from the car to the porch.

You gave a steak to the dogs?

Be happy there's still five.

I almost had to give them another one to get from the porch to the door.

So, what did you give them?

Your cat.

and I've got some exciting news. Guess what?

Taylor quit.

We're all going to my Uncle Murray's Lodge up in the snow.

I'd like my State of the State speech there and we can ski and play in the

and it would be wonderful for Katie.

Our Cap David.

Or in this case, Cap Murray.

What do you say, Bunsen? Have a real good time.

Oh, no, you're coming too. We're all going. Be a kind of working vacation.

Well, if I wanted a working vacation, I'd be a lifeguard in Acapulco.

Oh, Besson, just think, you can go skiing.

Not me.

I ain't strapping no sticks to my feet to be jerked up a mountain on a wire.

So I can come down again at 60 miles an hour with no brakes.

Best thing I can hope for is to hit a soft tree and break a leg instead of a

neck.

Why don't you try it, Gretchen?

I have shushed all over to Al. I bet you are.

Mr. Taylor? Yeah?

Isn't that great?

Those places are just swarming with ski instructors.

And they're all gorgeous.

There's no such thing as a homely ski instructor. They won't let them on the

mountain.

Oh, that seems so cruel. Well, they do stop them at the chairlift.

All I know is this trip makes terrific press. The governor skis. People love

that stuff.

No, Taylor, all I... water's a quiet vacation. Every once in a while, I've

got to get away from the pressures of this office.

But, sir, think what this could do for your image.

No tailor, no press, nobody is to know about this trip, not even the state

police. I just wish I looked better in the cold.

My face gets all blotchy, my hair gets all stringy, my nose runs and my lips

crack. I'm sorry, I'm going to miss all that.

What's the matter?

Oh, I just remembered my aunt had... guy is flying in from Dusseldorf. I

promised to pick her up. I can't go.

Well, what are we going to do? Marcy can't cook and Taylor won't cook.

I can only make one thing, but who wants peach melba three times a day?

Benson, could you reconsider?

Uh, I'm sorry, Governor, but I have to go to a party at my favorite uncle's.

How was last night?

Same party. That's why he's my favorite uncle.

Benson, please.

Okay, just a minute. Uh, Kraus?

Are you sure you're not going? Ja.

You're staying here?

Ja. So it'll be just the two of us, you and me, here together, by ourselves, all

alone? Ja. I'll go pack.

I wonder if they're any survivors.

Well, at least it's quiet.

Just the sound of the wind whistling through the walls.

Look at this dust.

I'm not feeling well.

Can I go outside and play?

Honey, you can do anything you want to. This is your vacation.

It sure ain't mine.

Thank you, Daddy. You're welcome, sweetheart. For what?

For taking me here. I love you.

Katie?

Try not to track any of this dirt out onto that nice, clean snow.

That's a start of fire. My hands are cold.

Sit on them.

I'm sick, Benson. I think I'm coming down with pneumonia.

When you're sure, call me.

Uh, Governor, would you happen to know where the toilet might be?

Uh, yes, I think there's one in the bathroom.

That's basically what I meant. Oh, where's that?

Oh, through this door and down the hall. Thank you.

In case anyone's interested, I'm dying.

Fine, I'll only set four places for dinner.

I have pneumonia. I'm getting frostbite. My skin is dead. My glasses are frozen

to my nose.

Oh, I can't move.

Now I can't even move.

There's a bear in there. A what? A bear, a bear. There's a bear in the bathroom.

Are you sure?

I'm pretty sure it isn't a plumber.

Well,

that is no reason to panic.

Screaming is the worst thing that you can do to a bear. They'll tear you to

pieces. I'm in a room the size of a walnut with a bear, and he's telling me

to panic.

Who are you, Grizzly Adams?

The thing to do is let him know you're his friend. Let him smell your hand.

Governor, I'm not interested in training him.

They look a lot bigger at the Disney movies.

You can't tell a raccoon from a bear.

It was an honest mistake. They both have fur.

All right, let's get spruced up around here and get things organized.

You and Katie can take that room, and the three of us will take this bedroom.

It's my sinuses I can't breathe.

Sinuses and we're sharing the same room?

Terrific. It's going to be like sleeping with a sealax.

I've got to go to bed.

Wake me when dinner's ready.

Taylor, start sweeping.

Why don't you just kill me, Benson?

Why don't you just kill me now?

Sweep first, then we'll talk.

Walk this way.

Don't talk to me!

Cross, what are you doing here?

I was sleeping until you brought it in.

I thought you had to meet your aunt.

Well, her plane was diverted because of bad weather.

Well, how did you get here?

I took a bus to the village and walked up the mountain.

You walked up the entire mountain?

I did it three times a day in Bavaria.

Piece of cougar.

to be 15 below last night. It was freezing.

Freezing? That's freezing?

In Bavaria, that's nippy.

Miss Krause.

Look, Benson, it's Miss Krause. I see her.

On the couch. I see her, I see her.

How'd you get here?

She walked.

What, am I a mute?

I walked.

When did you get here? Last night during the storm. You were all asleep.

Isn't that great?

Now we're all asleep. all here together like one big happy family.

Hey, everybody.

So, Krause, you're staying?

Of course.

Here? Yeah. With us?

Absolutely. Then I'm not needed.

You'll never were.

Last night I walked up the mountain during the storm while you were

Miss Krause, how did you get here?

Do I have to go through this every time someone comes into a room?

Miss Krause! Last night I walked!

Oh.

Well, you won't be needing my services anymore. Krause, have a wonderful time.

All I can say is it's been tense.

to have snowed last night.

You think so?

Only thing I can figure.

You may be right.

Taylor, check the window.

Are we snowed in?

Well, it's hard to tell with all the snow.

How are we going to get to the market?

How do we get to the car?

Taylor, get up.

Stand behind a tree and make mooses like a snowbank.

Oh, God, this is fun.

Okay, that's it.

It's over. It's all over.

What are you mumbling about?

The fold is dead, Benson.

Dead, El Morto.

Zip. Zero zilch.

Katie, I have to discuss something with your father. Would you mind leaving the

room for a moment?

All right, we're all adults, so we have to assess the situation.

We're thrown in, right? Right.

We can't get out, and they can't get in, right? Right.

We can't phone out, and they can't phone in, right?

Right. So, as I see it, we're all gonna die.

will be here soon because the state police knows we're here.

No, they don't.

You didn't tell them?

No, you told me not to.

When did you start listening to me?

Well, we may be here a while, so let's find out how much food we have and start

rationing it.

Well, this is it.

A bag of potato chips, two ding -dongs, and my three diet sodas.

I think the four basic food groups are well represented.

a tootsie roll. Katie.

Sorry. Why don't I tell you about candy? Give it here.

I'll throw these right in the garbage. Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. I'll take

that. You'll ruin your teeth, Benson.

Well, I ain't got nothing to smile about anyway.

Okay, now. For lunch, we each get two potato chips. If you clean your plate,

you'll get a tootsie roll for dessert.

Grace and candy. You know what this diet's gonna do to my skin.

I once saw this movie where a plane crashed on a mountain.

And what the people do is they eat the other people. And then we'll help in the

snow. Why don't we do that?

I think I'd rather have a couple of potato chips.

No, right in the snow.

We will go outside and write help in the snow.

We can't write in the snow. It's too high. We're under it. The roof. We'll

it on the roof. One of us will climb up the chimney and write it on the roof.

Me, me.

Not you.

The way you spell, we'll never get out of here.

I guess it's me, then. I'm the thinnest. No, no, you're too tall. There's a bend

in the chimney. We need someone shorter. Taylor?

I'm not short.

Are you saying that I'm short?

Short enough.

I am not short, Benson. I am not considered a short person.

Fine, you're Wilt Chamberlain. Get up there.

I can't. I have claustrophobia. My blood sugar level is falling.

I'll never make it.

Taylor?

I'll die up there, Benson.

Up there or down here, your choice.

Down here.

All right, I'll go.

Do you see anything?

Yeah, I see the last guy that tried to get out this way.

C -I -Z -Z -A, 18 points.

Great. Six starving people and his word is pizza.

Excuse me.

I don't quite know how to say this, but one of the candy bars is missing.

What do you mean?

I mean someone stole one of the candy bars.

Someone who couldn't share like everyone else. Someone who was worried perhaps

about his blood sugar level.

I did nothing. take your candy bar.

That was not me. I swear it on my mother's head.

Big deal. Your mother is dead.

Then if you didn't take it, what were you doing hanging around the cupboard a

few minutes ago?

Standing. I was standing.

Can a person stand by the cupboard?

You weren't standing. You were stealing.

You were stealing a candy bar from starving women and children.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Marcy. Maybe you miscounted.

bars. Now there are two.

One is gone.

Oh, the Milky Way. Of course one is gone. I put it out in the snow.

In the snow?

Oh, much better frozen.

Give her another half hour.

Happy?

Sorry, I get a little cranky when I miss ten, twelve meals.

Here we are.

Strassenbrunnschampnacht.

That's a good word.

In Germany, that's a good word. In English, that's cheating.

Look at this.

Look what I found. A box of raisin flakes.

An old box of raisin flakes.

This must be about 15 years old. Let me see. No. Come on, you have to know. You

should give her a chance. We should share them equally.

You are stepping on them. You are stepping on the flakes. She's stepping

flakes. Stop it. Stop it, all of you. Look at you.

Grown -ups killing themselves.

over some stale food.

Look at that, would you? There were so many more raisins in those days.

Quiet. What was that sound?

Maybe it's a grizzly bear coming to eat us.

That's stupid. There are no grizzlies here.

Oh, where are they? In Bermuda for the winter?

Did you hear that?

Maybe they've come to rescue us. Oh, take me first. I've got well.

Take me.

Oh, thank God.

We were stranded in our car. We saw the chimney.

Someday for a drive.

My wife is pregnant.

I was hoping she was hoarding food.

When I heard a storm was coming, I wanted to get in town just in case she

to labor.

We were almost up to the house when the snow gave way and we dropped into your

tunnel. When do you do?

In two weeks.

Oh, good. Then there's time.

Not a lot.

I'm in labor now.

Oh, well, let's get her into the bedroom so she can lie down.

Oh, you poor thing.

I know.

I want you to know, Marvin, I'm not going to forget all this.

Ma?

I didn't know what to do.

Didn't know what to do? You were full of ideas nine months ago.

You'll break your caps.

It's all my fault. This is all my fault. You can say that again.

We're almost ready, so bring in the water just as soon as it boils.

Are you sure you know what you're doing? Oh, absolutely no. Don't worry about a

thing. Listen, I'm an old hand at this. When I was a kid, I spent summers on my

uncle's farm. I used to deliver pigs all the time.

Life is in any sense, but the principle is the same.

Sir, we are talking about a baby here.

Everything will be fine, Benson. You know how to do it, huh? More than

else here does. That's not saying a lot. No, but I don't see that we have much

choice.

Benson. What is it, Taylor?

I am going for help.

Come on, Taylor. Not even smoking a bear would be out on a night like this.

There are women and children here, Benson. If I don't go, they will starve

death.

If I do go, there's a chance.

It's a slim chance, but a chance nonetheless.

And I must take that chance.

So I'm going, Benson.

I'm going.

So don't try to stop me.

It's no use, Benson.

You couldn't stop me if you tried.

So don't try.

Benson, in case I don't make it back, there's something I want you to know.

What's that, Taylor?

I never really liked you.

Come in. It's okay. I'm fine. I don't want my baby here.

Where do you want it? Out here?

When I tell you to push, push.

Okay, you won't be needing my services anymore. Thank you very much. Have a

day.

Just relax.

Take a slow, deep breath.

It's going to be easier than the pigs.

The pigs didn't push.

Oh, she's having a baby, Katie.

If she doesn't be quiet, she's going to wake it up.

Are you sure the governor knows what he's doing? If the governor says he can

it, he can do it. He said he could balance a budget. Look at the mess he

This is terrible.

There's no food. How's the baby going to eat?

From her mother. She's got milk.

I mean, I feel I should be with her. She's very delicate.

She's stronger than you think, man. And so is the baby.

I figure God sort of worked it out that way because he had to keep us going

until somebody came up with the idea of hospitals.

I don't think God's making them as strong as they used to.

It's awfully quiet. Why is it so quiet?

Did something happen?

I think your wife...

She's fine.

And you have a son.

Congratulations. Are you sure?

I double checked.

A son?

I have a son.

Oh, God, thank you.

A son.

How is he? Is he okay? Does he have everything? Five fingers and toes?

Ten. He's got ten.

Fine, ten. What difference does it make? I love him anyway.

Thank you, Governor. Thank you.

Next time I'll vote for you. I promise.

Can I go in? Can I see them? Sure.

Do you think it'd be right if I saw the baby?

Yeah, sure.

Come meet my son.

Well,

I'll be darned.

Yeah, me too.

I didn't think you could do it.

Yeah, me too.

done and you did it.

Feels good, doesn't it?

Like I said, there was a slim chance.

Are you all right?

I said that I would bring back help and I did.

This was so cold.

There was absolutely no shelter from the wind.

I was almost to the sleep of death. And then, like a miracle, I saw him.

We found him sitting on the roof, crying.

Well, I must say, it's good to be back.

Good? I've never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. Thank you.

Anybody want anything to eat?

No, I stuffed myself at the diner. Is there any ice cream in the freezer?

Sorry, bad choice of words.

I'll go get you some fruit.

I don't think I have the strength to chew.

Look, before I go home...

I just want to clear up any misunderstandings that you all might

isn't necessary, Taylor. We understand you two well already.

Now, we've all done things under stress that we're not too proud of.

Yeah, but, you know, up there, under those circumstances, you really fight

what you're made of.

That's why we didn't eat you for breakfast.

Cranston is videotaped before a studio audience.