Original subtitles

So my nana and my parents are out of town for a week, which means... Hot

bar! I get to crash with Zeke in his new pad. Gonna be awesome!

Playing video games in my undies. Playing foosball in my undies. Eating

in my undies.

Are you kidding? It's gonna be a blast.

I just hope that Luther doesn't spend too much time in his undies.

What's up, homie?

What's up, punk man? Bro, while you're here, I want you to totally make

at home.

Thanks, bro.

You got enough stuff there, bro?

Oh, I almost forgot about my favorite swordfish.

Wait, don't tell me. Dude, you won't believe what happened. No, maybe. Don't

forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy? Someone could be listening to us. Wait,

don't tell me. Not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a problem?

Let's get a pizza.

And just relax like nothing ever happened. Calm down.

It's only Tuesday.

We'll get a pizza.

And hope that no one overheard us talking. Calm down. Cause I'm a genius.

It's only Thursday.

And by tomorrow we'll have everything just fine.

This is it, bro.

One more strike and we become driveway bowling champs of the universe.

Feeling lucky, Luke?

Let it roll, baby!

I was actually thinking that we could just floss our teeth and hit the sack.

Wait, you're kidding, right?

So you're probably wondering, why is Zeke being such a buzz jockey? What is

Luther's babysitter? Well, the answer is, yeah, I am.

You want me to what?

To babysit Lucy while I'm away.

Luther doesn't need me or anybody else to babysit him. He's 16.

I know how old he is. On his last birthday, I gave him a stick horse to

around with.

Yeah, just what every high schooler wants.

I've written everything down on this piece of paper.

Hide his vitamins in a piece of cheese.

Double knot his shoes. Oh, yes.

Check his body for chiggers.

It's chigger season, homie.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Now this is his night -night book.

He cannot go to sleep without it.

Melvin grows up.

Pumpkin? Skip over the scary part.

Can't you believe it? If Luther found out about any of this, he'd freak out.

what can I do? Nana put me in a really weird spot.

If he eats too many fish sticks, rub his tum -tum. I'm not rubbing his tum -tum.

All right, bro, that's probably enough.

Wait, I only have ten.

Sorry, I'm crashing, bro.

Stay tight.

I'm not even tired.

Oh, all right.

Well, would it help if I read to you?

Huh?

You know, something like, I don't know, Melvin Grows a Pumpkin?

What? Bro, that old book? Well, bro, if you have trouble sleeping, I always

think it helps.

I'm always in the mood for escape, but it's midnight.

Oof.

Oof.

The dude was sleepwalking. He had no idea what he was doing. But I had to

it cool because I heard that you're never supposed to wake up a sleepwalker.

Never. Like something really bad can happen. Like they'll turn into a

or their head will spin completely around.

But seriously, Bernice, I love you. See you next week.

Once again, it's Kojo's late night mic night. Bye now. Watch out. I'm Kojo, and

if you think you've got what it takes, come on up, bring it.

Everybody's welcome. Not you, pajama boy.

This ain't a slumber party.

By day, I am a skater. When it gets a little later.

Ooh, I mix my lyrics and become a rap creator. See, my line is kind of scary.

Should be in a library.

I'm a rhyming, walking, talking, talking, rhyming dictionary.

See, the ladies love my jam. I'm talking to the llamas. When I'm talking about

my jam, I'm talking about pajamas.

Because I'm DJ, PJ, skater by day and rapper by night. I'm DJ, PJ, feeling

I'm feeling and keep it all right. I'm DJ, PJ, skater by day and rapper by

night. It's DJ, PJ, I'm DJ, PJ.

Red Bean?

Oh, you think he was a man up there?

Well, I don't see nothing but a refried wannabe.

Sorry about that, Mr.

Master Nest.

Whoa, wait, wait. You're that rapper from East Kilroy, right?

Um, we'll be on our way.

Hey, bro.

How'd you sleep?

Like a baby hamster. What about you?

Not so well. Not so well. See, I was up all night watching this new rapper

perform at dawn.

Yeah?

How was he?

See for yourself.

Wow, he's pretty good.

Bro, that's you.

What? Bro, I've never rapped a day in my life.

And besides, I never left this room. I was sleeping.

You were sleepwalking. You got up, went to Don's, and rapped.

You're DJ PJ.

I'm DJ PJ?

What? This is huge.

Who knew I had this hidden talent?

It's like the time I realized I could crack a walnut with my armpit.

Bro,

this is awesome. Okay, I'm a rapper now with mad skills?

This is a total game changer.

Let's go.

It's going to be hard for me.

I'm going to try to say it anyway.

About what you did last night.

This is tougher than I thought.

Here it goes.

I'm a good rapper.

DJ PJ, can we have your autograph?

Yeah, yeah. DJ PJ's all about giving back.

Hey, Z, you got a piece of paper?

Oh, no, no, bro.

Bro, that's mine.

Babysitting Luther with?

Nothing. So you're babysitting me now?

It was your nana. She still thinks you're a little kid.

I'm not a little kid.

I'm DJ PJ.

I'm a rapper.

I don't need a stinking babysitter.

Two more bunches, Betty, please. Usually this makes me feel better, but today,

nothing.

I'm tired of you strutting around acting like you're the man.

So this is how it's going down.

You and Master Nasty.

Wait, what? You want to rat battle me?

Tonight at the abandoned warehouse, we battle for our whip.

Wait, our whip?

Yeah.

Unless you have to ask your mommy first.

I don't have to ask my mommy. Okay, I don't have to ask Zeke.

I don't have to ask anyone.

Yeah. You're all nasty.

So what's it going to be, huh? Red liquid schwips?

Give me your car keys.

Okay.

I don't leave my licorice in my car.

We're not battling for licorice whips, Ding Dong.

We're battling for our cars.

That's what a whip is.

Our cars?

This is not good.

I'm getting into a rap battle with Master Nasty for our car.

This is right here in the rap section of Gilroy Gazette. Master Nasty won his

last 12 rap -off.

He rhymed a guy so hard one time, he ended up in the hospital.

Zeke's not going to be happy about the whole car thing.

Bro, I've been looking all over for you. I want to apologize.

I should have stood up to your nana and said, you don't need a babysitter. You

can take care of yourself.

About that, yeah, I kind of got myself into the sticky sitch.

Kind of funny, actually. I'm doing this whole rap battle thing with Master

Nasty.

Or our cars.

You bet our car. Are you nuts?

I told you it was funny. Have you seen the rap section today? The dude's never

lost. There's got to be some way out of this. There's no way, okay? He's got our

whip keys.

Our what?

That's what kids are calling cars these days, okay?

Whips. Get a clue.

Bro, what are we going to do?

The only thing we can do.

You're gonna have to beat him.

What? Bro, you're DJ PJ.

You're the greatest rapper I've ever seen. Yeah, but I've only done it one

Which is why we need to find a place for you to practice.

Keep you on top of your game.

And I think I know just the spot.

Beat seven.

Yes!

One more and I got bingo.

Excuse me.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are gonna take a break from bingo to bring you some

musical entertainment.

of the Senior Center?

Hey, it's an audience.

Besides, old people love everything they clap for pudding.

Hey!

Unless you're about to say I -12, I don't want to hear a peep from you

Let's climb!

No, no, no, no. Mr. Johnson, we're just spreading a little hip -hop magic to you

and your friends. So hold on to your bingo cards because you're about to be

blown away.

Yeah, I'm here to rap for you!

Rapping all day because the guy is... Wow.

Peaches and cream are sort of fine. That's why I like to wrap a... Can of

peaches, y 'all.

Give me that microphone.

Let me show you how this is done.

This boy is awake.

His rap's done its race. His rap's not crying. He's just spilling the space.

His words are absurd.

He don't know the lingo. I say, shut up, and let's get back to bingo.

Oh, yeah, and let's get back to bingo.

My man, let's get back to bingo.

Let's get back to bingo.

Man, that was terrible.

Okay, I just got outrapped by a million -year -old astronaut.

So weird.

When you're awake, you're terrible.

But when you're asleep, you're DJ PJ.

What are we going to do? The battle is in an hour.

I have to get you to fall asleep. I can't go to sleep right now, okay? Look

me. I'm a nervous wreck.

You don't have a choice.

Okay.

Lift up, lift up.

Just lift, lift.

There we go. A couple bacon bits here and there.

Getting sleepy?

No, I'm wide awake.

Your Nana wants to know how the babysitting is going.

Wait, that's it.

When your Nana was giving me instructions, she also gave me this book

used to read you as a kid. Okay, I told you, Melvin's a dumb squash licker. It's

our only shot.

It's not going to work. Melvin, blame me.

Chapter one.

Melvin always wanted to grow a pumpkin.

All right, y 'all, this is it.

A big battle. We got DJ PJ against Master Nasty.

And we here to see the big showdown.

That's it.

He's not showing up. I win again.

Well, looks like Master Nasty wins by default.

Hey, Nasty.

Not so fast.

You are better off not showing up, punk.

I'm going to eat you alive.

I don't think so.

This tiger's about to eat you alive.

Roar! Yeah, let's go, bro.

All right, DJ, do your thing, and we're going to start this off with Matt, the

Nat.

Everybody put your hands up.

Check it. Here we go.

DJ, DJ, what you going to play? You got to have a plan when you're taking on the

game. Checking out your face. I think I see some spots.

With all those pretzels, I can play connected to our face.

at the dock. If I were you, I'd get back to the local skate park. This sucker

ain't no G, more like G -Wid.

And I'm just wondering how he's blanking.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Yo, DJ just got slammed.

What's he got up his sleeve?

We gonna see. He's up next.

Hey, yo, anybody home, Julio?

Have you seen Lucy? Did he get here? Is Lucy here? Where's Lucy?

Banana, what are you doing?

Well, I just got back, and everyone's talking about this off -the -hook rap

battle with my little Luthi. You were supposed to take care of him. Nana, we

have bigger fish to fry. Trust me, everything's going to be okay. Are you

kidding? Look at Luthi up there. He's going to get his tushy served by Master

Nasty. Don't you read the rap section?

Of course I read the rap section.

Yo, yo, he's got nothing. He's coming up zero.

Now everybody in the basement freeze. Put your hands up now and just follow

Oh, Masanasi. Yeah, I can tell.

They call you Masanasi because of the way that you smell.

Oh, I smell his aroma.

People get a whiff like all the way to Oklahoma.

Walking around now putting cows in a coma.

And I really hope you don't melt the microphone.

Gas is the air.

And I really have to stare at his hideous glare that's coming from up

If I were you, I would go today and buy myself a nice red toupee.

I'm gone.

Joe, you're master nasty. You won't take that.

You better stop, carrot top, or I will be the only thing that...

because you've been trash -talked.

I don't know what to say.

Just got fooled by DJ PJ.

DJ PJ.

DJ PJ. Yo, yo, yo.

Winner by verbal knockout.

DJ PJ.

Oh, you killed it. Slow butter.

No one's jacking my ride.

What are you talking about DJ PJ beats you fair and square?

Remember when I told you something really bad can happen when you wake up a

sleepwalker? Well, it happened, and it was pretty freaky.

Get you an ice pack for your neck.

No, I'm fine.

Oh, Ruthie, did you ever bring it? I'm so proud of you, homie.

Look, Anna, I have to talk to you.

See, I'm not a five -year -old anymore.

Oh, I know.

I've been such a dunderhead. I just couldn't stand the thought of my little

Ruthie growing up.

But seeing you up on that stage, kicking it old school, made me realize that

you're a big boy now.

And, Zeke, I still want to pay you for helping me out.

That won't be necessary, Nana. DJ PJ just wants a sweet new ride.

Oh, honey, they're called whip.

Here it comes, bro. I hope it's a limo. With a loom roof and a hot tub in the

back?

What? This is your car?

She's a real beauty, isn't she? We've been through so much together.

Treat her well.

You should look.

Look, Mr.

Nasty, you can keep it.

I can?

Thank you, DJ PJ.

But I want to keep the chain.

Hey, guys, a little help here?

Oh no.