Original subtitles

These knee pads are supposed to withstand 375 cubic pounds of force,

that means.

It means you could whack me with this canoe paddle and it wouldn't even hurt.

Really? Try it out.

What do you want, Hootie? I'm here on a mission of the utmost

importance. I'm here to speak with Roy Waffles.

Roy Waffles?

Who's Roy Waffles? My little brother, dude. Get to know me.

And I totally forgot Luth even has a little brother. All he does is hang out

his room. The only time I've ever seen him was on their family Christmas card.

So, what do you want with Roy?

Since the two of you never spend any quality time together, your parents

contacted me through the Big Brother Association.

They want me to become...

His role model.

We'll try to get him out of his room because he plays video games 24 -7. At

ease, civilians.

I don't mean to be a nozzle jockey, but

don't you think you should be the one spending time with Roy? I mean, you are

his real big brother after all. Why?

You never spend time with Ginger.

That's not true. We have mandatory sibling hangout time every week.

In your face, Minnie Munch. I could do this all day.

Think of it like this.

With Hootie as his big brother, Roy could turn out as weird as him or

Report to me at once, soldier.

Hit the highway, Hootie. Okay, I'll take the big brothering from here. Roy and I

have a good connection.

Open up, Roy. It's your big brother, Luther.

Luther?

I sat next to you at Thanksgiving.

Beat it! I'm at level five!

He's a cute little guy.

Wait, don't tell me. Dude, you won't believe what happened. Yes, no, maybe.

Don't forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy? Someone should be listening to

us. Wait, don't tell me. Not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a problem?

Let's get a pizza and then we'll act like nothing ever happened. Calm down.

only Tuesday.

We'll get a pizza and hope that no one overheard us talking. Calm down. Cause

I'm a genius.

It's only Thursday.

Goodbye tomorrow. We'll have everything just fine.

whether you like it or not.

Now open up.

My knuckles are swollen.

It's been over a half hour.

You know, I saw this one movie where the bank robbers wouldn't come out of the

bank, so the cops cranked up the heat and sweated them out.

Yeah, that's good.

We'll fry his little fanny.

Yeah, well, I think you're doing a good thing, bro.

You know, there was a time when we used to be real close.

We'd hang out all the time.

Then what happened?

Then he learned how to crawl.

We grew apart and founded video games and... The rest is history.

He's coming.

Bro, you're fine.

My controller!

Hey, you'll get this back when you start bonding with Luther, okay?

Who's this boo face?

I'm Zeke.

He's your big bro's best bro.

No one cares!

Okay, we're gonna go outside and get some fresh air.

Now,

this little place we call Ramp. Best skating spot in Gilroy.

What? The big orange ball in the sky.

Are you kidding? That's the sun.

Look, stupid.

Look, it's not stupid, okay? It's good for heating up stuff.

Killing my eyes.

Bam, bam, bam!

Die, son, die!

Bam, bam, bam!

We're losing them!

I like playing video games, too. But this is the real world, so you're going

have to deal with it.

Look, I got this pamphlet, okay, with suggestions on things we can do.

Right here. Take your little brother swimming.

Know anyone with a pool?

No. It's going to be fun.

Oh, wait. We do have that old slippy slide we found in the dumpster.

Oh, yes.

That's good. Who are those guys? They look really good with this nice short

summer haircut.

Those are the plunks. They're bullies and they shave people's heads, so stay

away from them.

Roy, your brother happens to be an expert at the slippy slide.

The key is use lots of mayonnaise.

Yeah.

If you drop the controller in the bathtub, it doesn't work anymore.

What does that even have to do with anything?

Hey, look, just stay focused, all right?

Luther spending time with Roy made me wonder why I can't be a better brother

Ginger. That's why I made her a meat bouquet.

Girls always love bouquets, right?

Calm, C.

Calm.

It's awkward.

I don't really know how to do this, but I made you this meat bouquet.

First off, I'm trying to find my inner peace with this sniffer. And second,

try. You probably sprayed that with goat spit.

No, no, no, Jens, I'm actually trying to be nice.

This is your idea of being nice?

Giving me rancid meat?

Get out of here, you're stinking of my room!

Calm feet! Calm feet! This isn't going to be easy.

All right, little man, big bro's behind the day.

I'm going to need some money.

Hey, Don, this is my little brother, Roy. Hey.

You look like a mutant mantis from Buttercraft 5.

Yeah. I get that a lot. Wow.

These look super delicious. We'll take three of those.

Dream on.

These babies are like glazed gold.

They're a special order.

I can't really talk about it because it's a top government secret.

What? I didn't say anything.

All right. We'll take whatever you got left.

Sorry. I didn't have time to bake fresh ones.

Okay, so what can we do next?

We can start a leaf collection.

Boring.

What are you doing?

What? I only need to help her.

You're not in your room anymore, okay?

I know.

Otherwise, I'd be having fun.

You just eat your stinking donut.

a special order. You two are worse than flies.

Get your dirty mitts off me. Nobody messes with a plunk and gets away with

Just stay away. Shoo, shoo. Go on.

Oh no, they're coming over here.

Were you looking at us, Waffles?

No, I was just looking through you.

So you're saying we're invisible, like goats or certain goblins?

Charlie, twice.

You didn't mean anything by it, so why don't you just take off? We'll take off

when we're good and ready.

We do whatever we want.

Yeah.

I think I broke her shoes.

You've got wimpy teeth.

Whoa, those guys act like they have 20 bonus lives.

What do you want to do, Roy? You want to make a wallet? Yeah, we could go

fishing. Or tennis.

Hmm.

Tennis might work.

All right, Roy, the main thing you need to know about tennis is it's easy.

Any goofball can do it.

That's it, Roy. I've been trying to spend time with you all day. All right,

you're just being a little brat.

So I'm done.

Find yourself a new big brother.

I don't care.

You are boring anyway.

Roy, out.

Even though the whole Luther Roy thing was a complete disaster, I'm not giving

up on Ginger.

Okay, so she didn't take my meat bouquet, so I left some gummy fish on

pillow. They do it in motels, so I know it's classy.

Did you do to my pillow?

I know you love gummy fish, so I just left them there.

No, I swear, I was just trying to be nice.

Well, stop it and leave me alone!

Man, what is with younger sibling?

Open up, Roy! You can have your stupid controller back!

Video message.

He's gone to the plunk side.

Bro, I got your text.

What's up?

Roy is with the plunks now. They've become his big brother.

No, dude, that's horrible.

Are you trying to make me feel worse?

Sorry, what do you want me to say? That it's not that bad?

Yeah. Okay, it's not that bad.

Yes, it is. It's horrible. I'm the worst big brother ever. We both are, okay?

Come on. We've got to go find the plunks.

Here's your order. We're taking them to go.

Hey, can you guys keep a secret?

Yeah. I've got to tell someone. I'm bursting at the seams.

The president's in town for a luncheon, and he's going to be eating my pastry

that I baked with my own two hands.

I should start washing these.

That's great. We've got to roll. Go.

Look, if you want to be a band geek, you gotta have the proper haircut.

Roy, give us the number five salad bowl.

And this bunny thing.

Well done.

You were born to be a plunk.

Look, Charlie!

Let my brother go!

Please?

Why should we?

Well, my mom wrote this note.

Dear Plunk, Roy has to come home for lunch or dinner, depending on what time

is, sign Roy's mom?

This note's a fake.

Oh, no, you should keep reading.

P .S.

This note is not a fake.

It appears the note is legitimate.

No, it's not. Butt Neck here wrote it.

Okay, why don't we just ask Roy what he wants to do? Stay with you guys or come

home with Luther?

That's a good idea.

Roy?

We have big plans later.

What big plans?

None of your beeswax.

Yeah. We're not telling you anything about glazed gold.

Glazed gold.

Glazed gold.

Glazed gold.

It's obvious what's going down here. The plunks and Roy are going to try to

steal the president's fancy dessert cart. This is real bad, okay? If Roy

busted, he'd go to prison.

Oh, we got to stop him.

But how?

You have a plan, man. Just let me think, okay?

I

got

it. What's your genius plan? You are going to be on that caravan of sweets

tonight. How, you ask?

I'm going to bake you inside a large cake.

I'll pass it on to Chef Don.

Hey, what are you doing on my phone?

It rang while you were in the back.

Anyway, I know nothing of what's going on, but that was the president's

assistant, and they want to add to their order.

Boy, that's great.

What does the president want? A cake.

Coconut cake.

Coconut.

Got it.

How big?

Big. Really big. Four feet high, with a hollow center big enough to fit Luther.

Wait a second.

Something's wrong here.

This pen's out of ink.

Hey, sirs, let me ask you something.

Where did you buy those very comfortable -looking pants? When you bend over,

how's the keister? Is the keister cool?

My uncle was in security. He saw an opportunity to move higher up in the

Yeah, the top is always the best when you're trying to move ahead quickly.

Yeah, my uncle was a great guy. He always deserved a wink.

Well, it's great talking to you fine gentlemen, and good luck with those

comfortable pants.

Okay, I'm getting worried. I haven't heard from Luther in over an hour. I

what kind of reception he's getting in there. It took me four hours to finally

get the gummy fish out of my hair. Ginge, look, I promise I'm going to make

up to you. No, don't.

That's Luther.

You're evil.

Luther, what's going on?

Can you see anything?

I think a little.

We're crossing into a park.

Can you see the plunks? Or Roy?

Oh, no! The giant blob is about to attack us!

Oh, wait, wait. That's just frosting on the lens. Let me wipe that off.

What's happening now?

We popped again.

I was so nervous someone was going to try to steal the president's pastries,

hair on my back was standing on end.

Look, I'll show you.

We're in some kind of room.

I think it's that hotel storage bin near your house.

Roy, it's Roy. He's the inside man. Luke, just don't do anything stupid.

I'm in a cage. I can't get more stupid.

Way to go, Roy, man.

I'm allergic to coconut.

There's something whack about that cake.

I know that we don't always get along, okay? But you've got to come home. You

can't hang out with these guys.

Why not?

Because they're using you.

No, they're not. They're the best.

Oh, wait.

Let's roll.

You're drunk. You're drunk.

You're drunk.

Roy just learned a nasty lesson, that the punks are nasty dudes. With the cops

closing in, I had to do what big brothers do.

Teach him something he could carry with him for the rest of his life.

Rub these sticky buns all over your body, okay?

Why? Just trust your brother, Luther. I'm with you.

Keep going.

Look at this mess.

If you had accomplices, then where are they? I swear, they were right here.

I'm completely baffled.

This is so cool, bro.

I know, bro.

Take these yahoos downtown.

That's what they say on those Spanish cop shows.

Being a good big brother isn't about some pamphlet.

Yeah, you have to make your own rules as you go along. The most important thing

is just being there for him.

At least I got him out of his room, right?