Original subtitles

Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia.

Now there's nothing that wakes me up in the morning better than a long hot

shower. It's the best part of my day.

Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia. Our time is up. You have 15 seconds to vacate the

premises. Hey, beat it, Buttmunch. I'm taking my sweet time.

As you can see, the worst part of my day is having to deal with my cheese

sniffer of a sister, Ginger.

Santa Lucia!

Santa Lucia! Princess, you're one of the great, enduring predators on this

planet, and I look forward to when you return to your natural habitat.

But first, can you do me a little favor?

Santa Lucia!

Santa Lucia!

Santa Lucia!

Oh yeah, baby.

In case you haven't noticed, living with my sister under the same roof can be a

real pain.

I almost lost a toe.

She's cold. She's heartless.

She's a cyborg.

A what?

Half human, half machine. A cyborg. Dude, it's so obvious.

Whatever you say, Luth. Everybody knows cyborgs live among us, okay?

They're everywhere.

Right? Anyway, even though I have to share things with my sister, there's

one place that I get to call my own. A little place called Rant.

It's a skater's paradise.

A little slice of heaven.

There's always something going on.

At the moment, we're just about to start a sweet little construction project.

We're going to turn that pile of junk over there into the tallest, thickest

grind rail ever.

Going to call it Old Nasty.

But what really makes Ram special are the skaters.

There's Snacks Regal.

He doesn't do a lot of skating.

The twins, Ronnie and Donnie.

You can never tell them apart.

And there's everybody's best friend, a guy we call The Cat.

He's not real.

And finally...

Deuce.

He's new in town and doesn't talk much.

But man, that kid is fearless.

Hey, you! Come back here!

Kid,

you're causing me a lot of trouble.

Nice work, Deuce.

Where'd you get that thing?

Uh, let's just say it got found and leave it at that.

You, uh, can just spit on my shoe.

It happens.

Okay, guys, a safety foreman I'm proud to announce gone 30 minutes without an

accident. You have the good work, bro.

Thank you.

Ginger, what are you doing here? This place is off -limits. Skater's over.

Relax, born brain.

I just came to tell you that Mom wants you to unload the dishwasher.

That's it?

You came all the way down here to tell me that? I don't think you understand

much I love annoying you in person.

Get lost, Minnie Munch.

Minnie Munch.

Uh, you just bit on my shoe.

I once complained about having no shoes, so I met a man with no feet.

Really makes you think.

Right.

For the last time, get lost.

Don't worry.

I'll leave it in the cricket liquor.

She gives me a headache.

Yeah.

Ow.

So, we still need to decide who's going to be the first one to take the ride

down Old Nasty.

It's going to be a wild ride.

I'll take a stab at it. Deuce style. Deuce style it is.

What do you want?

Don't get your dog. It's in a bunch.

I just made a few brownies.

What are you doing?

She probably spiked these.

Last week, she made cream puffs filled with gopher guts.

Right, Luth?

Yeah? Oh, yeah. They were gross. I could only eat six of them. Hey, do you mind

helping me out with this?

I don't even do my own homework.

Oh, little man, you got a dart in your arm.

Oh, yeah.

I was skating a stairwell and took a header.

Lost all the feeling in my arm.

You really have no feeling in that arm?

Go ahead.

Take your best shot.

Nothing. Cool.

If I'm going to get this done, I need to go to the smartest person I know.

Ginger, the cyborg.

It's easy to spot a cyborg because they have no emotion.

They rarely blink.

It's creepy.

You see what I mean? She even speaks cyborg again.

Look at that doll hair.

That's not human hair.

What?

The door was open, I swear.

You're squishing my hand with your hydraulic grip.

Do you mind? I'm trying to learn Bulgarian on my computer in case I visit

Bulgaria. No such planet.

Well, I'm having trouble filling out this very complicated form.

Complicated? This is an application.

To rent video games.

Yeah, well, I have trouble with tests or forms or pencils.

Under name, you put Leon.

It's my favorite name. Her address, you wrote, my home, America.

Okay. What's the problem?

Are you going to help me or not?

Okay, fine.

I'll help you out.

But first, you have to help me with something.

Super wobbly.

And as safety inspector, I say, we should go higher.

No, no, no.

Are you serious?

Aw, geez, you're a party pooper. Not that. Look.

My sister's on a skateboard.

This can't be happening.

I must be dreaming.

I'm not dreaming. I'm not dreaming.

That was my limited edition Tony Hawk. I'm such an idiot.

That was the matching mug.

No, not the gravy boat.

Not the gravy boat.

Ginger,

what are you doing here?

And who taught you how to skate? Yeah.

Who taught you how to skate, huh?

Because it wasn't me.

It definitely wasn't me.

It was me.

Of course it was.

Ginger, this is not cool.

Get used to it, buddy boy.

I'm Peter.

This is my world, bugger.

I don't know what you're trying to prove, but you don't belong here.

It's a free country, boring breath.

Leave.

Make me.

Anybody got a crowbar? I nailed my dead arm again.

I got it!

I get that Ginger lives to annoy me, but this was above and beyond.

Beyond? Wait, wait, how beyond? Like half -human, half -military robot

Liz, stop, Lord.

No, no, stop it. No, please.

So I was about to lay down some serious law with her when suddenly it all made

sense. The brownies, the showing up at ramps, the skating.

She was there for Deuce.

Deuce? Deuce.

Deuce? Deuce.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yes, you do. You like him. But I got a newsflash for you, Missy.

He's not interested.

Why? Did he say something? No, no, no.

Do you really think any skater would want to hang out with a walking pit

like you?

Give me a break.

That's weird. I called her pit sniffer and I got nothing back.

Usually, she's pretty good with the return zingers.

I'm gonna pick her.

Vlog bucket.

Commander hairball.

Yep, something is definitely wrong with this picture.

Yeah, I like that.

So, no comeback for Pit Sniffer?

I don't know. I just saw him hanging around.

Thought he looked kind of cool.

Different.

Maybe he might like me.

A tear?

No, no, no. You were seeing things. No, Luz. I'm telling you, I saw it. A single

teardrop from her eye. What? It's impossible, okay? Cyborgs, they don't

would short out their circuitry.

Unless she upgraded to a new model.

Okay, look, I'm telling you one thing.

My sister is a bum, and I hate to say it, but I feel sorry for her.

It's a brotherly moment there, bro.

I want to throw up.

Safety foreman, hereby deem Old Nasty completely safe and ready to escape.

Sweet.

Safety

foreman,

maybe before Deuce takes the first grind, we should let the captain try it

first. That's a good call, Luth.

Prepare the captain.

Whenever we're not sure about a new ramp, rail, slide, or jump, we like to

it out with the guy we call the captain.

This guy right here is a good guy. He just has a very bad nose -picking habit.

Disgusting. All right, let's hoist him up. Here we go.

Hold on.

Okay, just be slow, slow.

So, Deuce Man, having a little barbecue later on. It's just going to be me and

Luther and my sister.

Just want to know if you wanted to swing by.

Sounds good. I know where I can go or some briquette.

Don't ask.

No, we're good on charcoal, man. Need anything else?

No, thanks.

Lawn domes, sprinkler heads.

I got a couple of fax machines.

Just bring the potato salad, dude.

Challenge.

I like it.

Captain's ready. All right.

Let her rip.

Oh,

no.

I know.

Sorry, little man, but old Askey is not safe yet.

Move aside, people!

Safety first!

You have to have some major figs to ride that rail.

Here's your potato salad.

Hey, man.

That is a lot of potato salad, and I'm wondering where you got it. You sure ask

a lot of questions.

Well, have a seat.

We're just waiting on one other person.

Uh, oh, Ginger, could you come down here real quick?

For a second.

Remember, the whole point of this barbecue is to get Ginger and Deuce

So we have to remember to be as romantic -y as possible.

Don't worry, okay? I speak lovey and dovey.

Bye.

What do you want?

Well, I'm just having a little impromptu barbecue.

Thought I could get you a little FaceTime with Deuce over there.

You can thank me later.

You do not want to tell me. I look like a horse's honey.

And so I was hanging off the back of the bread truck and skated across three

lanes of traffic.

Only way I was off the bridge, fell 200 feet in the river, swam home.

Oh, dude, that is such a great story.

The same sort of thing happened to me last summer. I'm sure you'll appreciate

this. A bee was in the kitchen.

I had to lock myself in the pantry for over five minutes.

That story is weak!

Hey, can you excuse me a sec?

I'm dying over there.

I don't even know how to talk to this guy. You've got to give me something.

I don't know, Ginge. He's an odd guy.

All he cares about is skating and being extreme.

Speaking of which, I'm extremely out of mustard. Excuse me.

Extreme?

I could be extreme.

I love me some mustard.

Where'd they go?

Dude!

It's bad, okay? They went down the ramps. Ginger's gonna skate all nasty.

nasty? That thing's a death trap. Why didn't you stop him?

I'm not finished.

Oh, no, this is bad.

This is really, really bad.

So does Deuce look impressed?

Yeah, everybody's really impressed.

But forget about Deuce, okay? No, guys, we're risking your life.

What am I supposed to do? I can't back down now.

Everyone's watching.

You forget about everyone else.

Forget about Deuce. Just climb down.

All right.

There's nothing to see here, people. She's climbing down.

Ah, boom!

That's good. That's good. Bring her down.

Bring it.

Ginger,

that

was the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Really? You think so? I know so.

Excuse me while I take a shot.

Oh, and when I get back, I'm going to want to hold your hand with my good arm.

Thank you.

Listen, I'm just glad that everything worked out.

Everyone's happy.

No one got hurt.

Don't look out!

and get back on my skateboard.

I tell ya, I'm gonna miss it.

Mind getting that?

Yeah. Juice, I've been thinking.

I don't really think this is gonna work out.

But give me a call on this first deal.

But I don't have your number.

I know.

Ginger?

Wait.

After everything I did to fix you up, you're dumping the guy.

She's one cold, heartless little girl.

Yeah.

Maybe she is a cyborg.

Check this out. I rented the entire Possum Zombie video game collection.

My new rental car.

I'm set for the weekend.

Loser Waffles?

That's me.

Worth the Federal Bureau of Fraud?

Did you fill this application out on your own?

I sure did.

You're coming with us.

Why? Nobody's ever filled one of these out so perfectly.

Too perfectly.

We have reason to believe you're a cyborg. You're coming with us. No, no.

Guys, it wasn't me, okay? It was Ginger!

I swear!

She's a cyborg!