Original subtitles

Oh, uh, Donaldo, a dozen chocolate logs to go. And a side of ranch.

Don?

Celebrity in the house.

Take a peek behind you.

It's Wrecker Murdoch, TV's adventure boy. Oh, but be cool.

Celebrities hate when you're not cool.

Adventure boy, we love you.

He's in my donut shop.

He's in my donut shop.

There he was, Rutger Murdoch, a .k .a. Adventure Boy, sitting right there at

Don's. And we never miss his show. The dude is rolling with some major bravery

bags. Sure, Rutger Murdoch's a celebrity, but he's just a regular guy.

So we weren't going to make a big deal about it.

And I've seen all your shows, and I've got the board game, and I'm a card

-carrying member of the Adventure Boy fan club.

Can I nab that, Rutger?

You don't mind selling some internet, right?

So, what brings you to town?

Well, just between our sporthogs.

I'm here to meet a girl I've been missing a long time.

Oh, she's Adventure Boy's girl. She must be smoking.

Well, Adventure Boy does not pick the weak gazelle from the pack, if you know

what I'm saying.

What's he saying?

She's a babe.

She's not my girlfriend yet, but give me a couple of days. I intend to do

everything I can to make her mine.

Here she is now.

Come here.

How are you?

That's not a gazelle.

It's Olivia.

You know the model?

Lives across the street.

Smoking hot, babe. You're in love.

Dilute. Cork it, okay?

Get it. Good to see you.

And you.

The one and only Rutger Murdoch. Here to make a move on Olivia, you must be

bummed. I'm not bummed. You seem bummed. I'm not bummed. Look, I know you and

you're obviously bummed. If you knew I was bummed, why would you bring it up?

I was hoping I was wrong.

The problem is that Olivia's not really my gal.

She's been living across the street for months and I just never made my moves.

If you're gonna make a move, you better make it fast.

Oh,

please don't come over here.

Crocodile.

Hey, guys, come on over.

Hello, Fallon.

Hey, neighbor.

Rutger, enjoying your visit? Oh, yeah.

Liv and I are having a ball getting reacquainted.

Before Rutger got his TV show, we used to model together.

Maybe you remember this guy.

Or this guy.

Babs. This guy.

Work that. You were amazing in Banana Club catalog.

Here, one for the scrapbook.

Add that to the fritter.

It was an amazing shoot.

I do cherish those fond memories.

How about some close -up magic?

How long did you have that in there?

For you.

Rutger, you shouldn't have.

But I did.

Shall we?

Better step your game up, man. You're going to lose your woman.

There's no way I'm going to let that happen. That's the period.

Look, I got to go dog sit Murphy's Poots, so if you need anything, give me

call. All right.

Come on, give Lucy some love.

Come on.

Okay. Okay.

Much love.

Bernie's hair instructions.

Guess your name's Bernie.

Okay.

All right, Bernie.

Come on, boy.

Let's go. Come on.

Let's roll.

Must have been the boy who's taking care of Rufus.

Uh -oh.

He took your instructions, Bernie, not the dog's.

Oh, well.

He's got common sense. He'll figure it out.

Don't look at me, okay? It said on his information list.

If it gets cold, he has to be bundled up.

All right, let's see what else.

It says after a walk.

Do you like one cup of decaf coffee?

Don't you want it in a bowl?

Okay, Mr. Fancy Dog. Cup it is.

Truth is, I always figured I'd find the right time and place for me and Olivia

to, you know, take it to the next level. There was no real hurry until this

adventure boy came to town. It brought up some really serious feelings, like

when my mom sucked up my hamster into the vacuum.

I didn't really miss Norm until he was already gone.

So I guess that's what love feels like.

A hamster lost in a vacuum.

No, you're alive, man.

So the future is now. I'm going to ask Olivia out on a date using this phone.

Pick this up from Luther.

He says being under your bed makes you more confident.

You know, he's right. It's oddly comforting.

Hey, Olivia.

Yeah, it's me, Zeke.

I just want to know if you wanted to go out on a date tomorrow.

Yeah. Yeah, around 4 o 'clock. Beautiful.

All right. Bye.

Okay, uh, there's on your instructions that you love crossword puzzles.

Okay.

Uh,

four -letter word for the top of a house.

Roof?

That's right.

Okay, uh, three down. Famous baseball player.

Babe.

Ruth?

Wow, you are good.

Okay, uh, 14 -letter word for Istanbul.

Okay,

I'll put it down. I don't think it's right. Is that a three O's or four?

One?

Two? Okay.

I was totally lost on this whole dating thing, so I went online and I found this

relationship specialist.

The doctor is in the house.

I should have known.

The Kojo method is simple.

Starts with your eyes.

Your eyes are for gazing.

They're your sole connection to your female lady. You look like a zombie.

A love zombie.

Number two.

It's about listening.

When your lady speaks, it is the most fascinating thing you've ever heard.

But what if she says something dumb?

I never thought of that.

That is really fascinating.

Really? No, dummy! That was dumb!

Well, see how I played you? Watch out!

Now you're gonna need some smooth lines for yourself.

I can get you this one for free.

Oh, baby.

Those lady lips look cold.

How about I warm them up for you?

Okay, okay, no.

No. No, no, no, no, no. Okay.

How about you tell me what I'm supposed to do on my date?

Well, you're up against a venture boy.

He can take her out to fancy restaurants, buy beautiful flowers.

You gotta do something he can't.

I can skate.

On a date?

Yeah, a skate date. That is definitely not prescribed by the doctor.

No, no, this is good. I mean, it's who I am. It's the real me.

Looking good, neighbor. You got some skills.

Now step off your board.

Okay. Try to pop it up into your hand.

I'm sorry!

It's okay, I'm fine. I'm good. I must admit, I was a little wary at first, but

this has been so much fun.

And I love the board you made me.

The skull is surprisingly festive.

Okay, I want to do it again, but hold me till I get started.

Okay.

Now push off, and keep your eyes where you want to go.

Stay focused.

Knees loose.

Like this?

No, no, no. Don't look at me. Keep your eyes where you want to go.

Are

you

all right? Oh, I'm fine. My

ankle feels a little bit wonky.

I arrived at precisely the right moment.

I've always had impeccable timing.

You, get some water, quickly.

Okay.

Come on, man. Okay, hold on.

Here we go.

Thanks.

I've parched.

Oh, family.

You don't have to carry me. But I must.

Oh.

Nice try sport, but eventually always win

Hey

Bernie,

I'm sorry

Murphy's let him listen to opera. All I had was rap.

So spoiled.

I tell you, Luth, there's something about Rutger Murdoch that just doesn't

up. And I know what it is.

What is it?

Long johns.

Long johns? Exactly.

When he swooped in and ruined my skate tape, I noticed a little chink in his

armor.

Long johns.

Did you reuse the finest in long underwear?

Redker Murdoch, this is not over.

Bro, what are you talking about?

Luce, don't you get it? If he's so rough and tough, why is he wearing long johns

when it's 77 degrees out? I don't know, bro. You sound kind of desperate.

Maybe you know you should just admit you can't compete with Redker Murdoch. He's

Adventure Boy.

Episode 35, he punched a walrus in the tusk just to save a baby seal.

No, Luce. I'm telling you, something stinks.

Help me find a plastic bag.

Maybe Luth was right. I was desperate, but I knew in my gut that there was

something fishy about Rutger Murdoch. I just needed proof.

So I went super spy on him and shadowed his every move.

And that's where it got interesting. For example, on his show, Rutger climbs the

Andes in search of ink and ruins.

But look what we have here.

I caught him scared to even go up a flight of stairs.

All right, now here's Adventure Boy exploring a live volcano in Hawaii.

The dude's walking on lava, but look what happens when he takes a sip of hot

chocolate.

And here's the capper.

Now there's Rutger on his trip into the Sahara.

Now he wore the same nasty shirt for 43 days.

But look what happens when I catch him spilling jelly on his pants.

So I have to tell Olivia because he's

not the guy she thinks he is. And it's not to make me look better, okay? That's

not the point.

Okay, it's kind of the point, but it's not the main point.

Okay. That's the main point.

Says after his nap he gets one piece of lemon meringue pie.

I mean, I could buy the crossword puzzle, but pie?

Come on, this is nuts.

Bernie, I said one piece.

Hey, hey, boy, hey.

Why does it say Rufus?

Must have put on the wrong dog collar.

Dogs are so dumb.

Wait.

Your name really is Rufus.

These instructions were never meant for you.

I was about to give you pie, but sweets make dogs crazy.

Okay, stay calm.

Stay calm, Rufus.

Come on, I'm the one who massaged your bunions, remember?

Rufus, please.

Excuse me.

Olivia, we need to talk.

Excuse me, Sparta.

We're on a picnic.

And unfortunately, I only baked enough cherry cobbler for two.

This will only take a second.

Rutger is a total phony. I have it all on videotape.

A phony? Yeah.

Episode 34, Adventure Boy in the Andes. He climbs the tallest peak in South

America, but down at the pier, he can't climb a flight of stairs without

clutching the handrail like my grandma.

It's true.

I do cling to stairwells. Aha!

I knew it. But only because I suffer flashbacks from a fall I took off the

Matterhorn. 6 ,000 feet.

Oh.

What about when you were babysipping your hot chocolate? Was it too hotty

-wotty? My tongue was frostbitten in the Arctic, if that's what you find so

amusing.

What about your pants? You seem pretty freaked out about a little jelly stain.

Explain that, sir.

Oh, this one I'm a little embarrassed about.

I plan to donate those slacks to the Make a Dream Foundation, an orphan boy's

last wish.

Zeke, I think your behavior here has made you look rather small.

May we... resume our picnic now.

No, Rufus, I said stay! Stay! No pie for bootches, okay?

No!

Rufus? No!

You're scaring me, man.

Stay, boy.

Stay, boy.

up with your dog rufus he's on a sugarfield rampage man okay he's eating

cotton candy a lady's purse thought it was a bunk cake now he's heading for the

picnic area olivia's at the picnic area ah she'll be fine as long as she's not

eating any sweet bakery items dude she's eating cobbler cobbler cobbler oh no

folks there's nothing to see here except a huge dog gone bonkers you should see

it

I need to save Olivia.

You distract the cop, and I'll sneak by.

Aggressive moves are not necessarily the proper response to a canine animal

thing.

Everybody just stay calm.

Hey!

Bertha, what's wrong with you?

Look, I'm not the brave guy you think I am.

Stuntmen do all the real brave stuff. I just hang back at the studio and try and

look pretty.

Okay, everyone, just take it easy.

Rufus just wants the cobbler.

Olivia, throw me the cobbler.

You? I'm fine.

So, you were right about Rutger.

I'm so sorry I didn't believe you.

It's okay.

Adventure Boy fooled a lot of people.

Do you want to go on another date -date sometime?

Sure.

I'll even paint you a new deck.

All right, bro, let's move out.

Come over, I'm dog sitting.

Okay, love you too.

Mushrooms!