All language subtitles for The Bob Newhart Show s06e14 Grizzly Emily

I borrowed for a couple of days.

Last year.

Thanks for bringing it back.

Oh, I'd have brought it back sooner,
except I was hoping you'd forget I had

It came in real handy, though, when
Larry and I went to Vegas. Oh.

Oh.

Caesar's Palace ashtray.

Flamingo fountain pen.

Desert Inn drinking glass.

Did you stay at all those places?

No, just visited. But I had my big
purse.

Kansas City is going to meet us up at
the cabin tonight.

Emily, are you sure you want to go
fishing? You know, Larry could book you

great trip to Vegas.

Carol, you can't land a rainbow trout in
Las Vegas.

True, but you can't shoot crabs in the
woods.

You know I love fishing. I used to go
fishing all the time in Seattle with my

dad. Besides, I'm looking forward to
this weekend. Just getting away, you

me and the guys, Bob and his dad and
Jerry.

Jerry?

He overheard Bob talking about it, and
he invited himself along. He said he

loves the outdoors.

Jerry's idea of roughing it is wearing a
short -sleeved shirt.

And how did Bob's father horn in here?
Oh, he didn't horn in. It's his idea.

It's his cabin. Well, if he's anything
like my father -in -law, he's a real

drag.

Carol, shh.

Herb will hear you.

He's in the den tying flies.

To what?

Wait a minute. You call your father -in
-law Herb?

Well, sure. What do you call yours?

Sir.

this on your lordship.

Hi, Carol.

Hi, Mr.

Hartley. All set for your trip. You bet.

Will the fish be biting?

Biting? I'll look at these flies and
they'll ask for the wine list.

Where's Martha? She went to New York to
see her sister.

Years ago we made an arrangement. I
don't force her to clean fish and she

doesn't force me to look at her sister.

I think I got the better of that deal.

Is the coffee ready, Emily? Yeah, it's
in the thermos. Listen, I've got to run

but have a nice weekend.

Oh, hi, Carol. Hi, Emily.

Hi, Al.

Mr. Hurley. Hi, Carol. Hi, Howard. Hi,
Herb. Hi, Carol. Hi, Dave. Hi, Ricky.

That was fun.

You guys getting ready for your trip?
You better believe it. I just got

tying my fly.

Did you break your zipper?

That's rich, Howard.

I thought you were in Kansas City.

There's a baggage handler striking. It's
messed up the whole schedule.

They had to reroute me here.

Yeah, it is too bad, but at least I know
where my luggage is.

Back in Kansas City behind a picket
line.

Well, you will be able to make it this
weekend, won't you?

Oh. Okay, honey, well, then we'll see
you later.

Bob's in Denver. He'll try and make it
to the cabin tomorrow.

Well, I better start taking this stuff
down to the car. Yeah, I better finish

packing that.

You guys have a good time. I'll take
care of things here.

Hey, Howard, if you're not doing
anything this weekend, why don't you go

to the cabin with us? Who, me?

Yeah, there's plenty of room.

Well, I hadn't planned on picking you.
Well, we can always use an extra hand

over the cabin.

Well, I suppose it's okay.

Well, just give me a little time to get
my things together, okay?

Can I ride in the front seat?

getting his gear together.

What's that smell?

Clean air.

Welcome to my mountain retreat.

I hope you two don't mind hopping it.

Where's your jacuzzi?

My jacuzzi's back in Chicago.

That's a long way to go with just a
towel around your waist.

Oh, Herb, the cabin is beautiful.

Hey, my lumberjack jacket.

for this moment.

Yeah, boy.

This is where I really belong.

Oh, Herb, you look right at home.

Yeah. Hey, Cupcake, would you mind
handing me that pillow for my back?

That one?

Yeah.

Yeah. Thanks, Cupcake.

Yeah, I've been waiting for this.

Isn't it nice to get up here where you
can hear yourself think?

I don't hear anything.

Boy, oh boy, oh boy.

This is what I call the wilderness, huh?

Say, Herb, where's the best reception?

Try the second bedroom down the hall.

Jerry, how can you watch television in
the middle of these beautiful woods?

You've got a point there, Emily. Those
tall trees will really screw up my

picture.

I've got to hurry. The Fighting Irish
are around soon. The Fighting Irish?

Has my dad got that thing settled yet?

This weekend, take my advice. Don't go
near any woodpeckers.

And second thought, do.

I love the sound of the wilderness.

No, that's my radio phone.

Oh, I love the sound of radio phone.

Is that coming to Prince's model?

Next year. Hello.

Hello, Mr. Hartley.

Oh, Sybil Jenkins, the local operator.

What's new, Sybil?

Mrs. Bennett's having an affair with a
game warden.

Sounds like he's bagged his limit.

Sybil knows everything about everybody.

Heard you were up here with your pretty
daughter -in -law, a guy with a color

TV, and some fellow who brought up the
rear and the brains line.

Better turn that down. Jerry might hear.

Look, Sybil, in case you haven't heard,
my son Bob will be joining us up here

later on tonight.

Was he calling from Kansas City?

Nope. Dallas.

He got rerouted again.

Thinks he'll be able to make it up to
the cabin late tomorrow.

Did he sound upset?

Well, he didn't have much time to talk.
He was trying to catch up to his

luggage.

Thanks, Abel. Talk to you later.

Oh, poor Bob.

Don't worry. When the going gets tough,
the hearty gets going.

Really? Bob usually gets cranky.

Hey, we got a couple of good hours.

light yet. Oh, right. Let's put him to
good use.

How about it, Howard?

Want to go see if we can catch a couple
of big ones?

No, thanks. I think I'd rather go
fishing.

Does he ever stop?

One right after the other.

Hey, Cupcake, I can't tell you how glad
I am you came along on this trip. Oh,

I'm glad you asked me, Herb. I can't
tell you how I've been looking forward

it. Yeah, it's been ages since I had a
woman up here to clean up the place.

All right.

The fish are jumping. Yeah, they're
probably nervous because they heard we

coming. Yeah. Hey, Cupcake, the steel
wool is under the sink.

Oh, thanks.

Why, you all... Fishermen.

Yeah, we practically had to beat the
fish away with a stick, Cupcake.

You should have been there. Yeah, I
should have.

Herb made me throw it back in. He said,
no newts is good newts.

That's a little fishing humor, Emily.

Well, I'm glad you two had a good time.

I had great fun cleaning the oven.

Yeah, and you did one heck of a good job
with it, sweetie.

I was hoping that maybe you could
defrost the refrigerator.

But you can let it go until morning.

Thanks.

Look, Herb, you know, I didn't mind
straightening up the cabin. And, I mean,

didn't mind cleaning the fish.

Much.

But I think you ought to know that I do
expect to go fishing tomorrow.

Oh, you hear that, Howard? She expects
to go fishing tomorrow.

Isn't that cute, Howard?

I'm serious, Herb. Oh, you are.

Well, Emily, we don't mind you coming
along and watching, but you know, the

currents out there in that river are
pretty swift.

Hey, come on, let's relax around the
fire. Oh, good idea, Herb, good idea.

Emily, the dishwashing detergent is
under the sink.

The dishwashing soap.

I'm not going to wash the dishes while
you two sit and talk.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

Don't worry. Noise won't disturb us.

Howard, do you mind? You're sitting in
Old Red.

Paul, did I get any on my Wranglers?

No, Old Red is my Redwood rocker.

I've had hers since I bought this cabin
back in 42.

Well, now I'll just sit here on Old
Maroon.

Yeah. 42.

That was the year I caught that 12
-pound catfish.

What kind of mice did you use for bait?

A good one, Howard.

What?

You know, I've had a lot of adventures
up here at the cabin.

Never forget the year the bear came by.

Bear? Yeah, a mean old grizzly. Had the
whole lake terrorized for months.

Finally, I had to go out and chase him
off.

Boy, you've been roughed up.

Rules in nature.

You know, a bear won't harm a man unless
he shows fear.

How does a bear show fear?

Howard, Howard, you're better than Bob
Hope.

At what?

Hey, Emily, as long as you're up, you
mind filling my pipe?

Herb, I am washing your dishes.

Oh, that's all right. I'm in no hurry.

I'll wait until you dry your hands.

Just a minute, Herb. Now look, cupcake.

It's not like I'm asking you to chop
down a tree or anything like that. Just

little favor for a man who's been out in
the wilderness all day stalking your

dinner.

All right, Herb.

I'll fill your pot.

Actually, I'm trying to quit

anyway.

little bit scrappy.

That's wonderful, Howard.

Yeah, Howard, take my trout over to the
sink there where Emily can clean it. Put

it in the icebox, Howard.

Emily doesn't feel like cleaning fish
tonight.

I mean, by now he's been in the water
all day.

for pizza? The nearest pizza restaurant
is 200 miles away.

They deliver?

Sure, put them on.

Hi, Dad.

Yeah, hi, son. Where the heck you been?
We got shuttled to Miami, and I'm afraid

I won't be able to make it to the cabin
at all this weekend.

I know I feel terrible about it, too.

Especially when I think of the great
time you guys must be having.

Isn't Emily a great little outdoors
woman, Dad?

Yeah, yeah, great.

Isn't Dad something with those fish,
Emily?

He's something, all right.

I'll call you all later.

Wish I was there.

Yeah, bye, son.

Goodbye, Bob.

Bye.

Oh,

Herb, this is ridiculous. We're being
silly.

That's right, Emily. You are being
silly.

I mean, we both are. Now, look, I'm not
the one who poured the soapy water in my

father -in -law's pipe.

Well, you deserved it. Why? What'd they
do?

Herb, ever since we got up here and you
put on this ridiculous jacket, you have

turned from a perfectly charming father
-in -law into Nanook of the North.

What are you talking about?

Herb, why wouldn't you let me go
fishing?

But I told you already, those waters are
treacherous.

Oh, that creek is about as treacherous
as a bubble bath.

And believe me, if you and Howard... can
handle it.

I mean, I certainly can.

Now, listen to me, Emily.

Now, maybe woman's lib is all right in
this city where we can't do much harm.

But up here in the high country,
everybody's got to pull his own weight.

where the strongest and the most
experienced have to be the leaders.

You Tarzan, me Jane.

What does that make me?

Now, Emily, I know it sounds old
-fashioned, but I'm doing this for your

good. Look, Herb, I'm trying to be nice
because I like you and because you're my

husband's father.

And one of my major rules in life is
never to call my husband's father a

mushroom head.

But you, Herb, are a mushroom head.

You see, Emily, you're losing your cool,
just like a woman. Oh, I just don't

believe this conversation.

You can say what you want, Emily, but I
simply will not subject you to the

dangers of the wild.

Dangers? The only dangers I've had to
face since we got up here are dishpan

hands. That's because you stayed inside
where you belong.

Oh, I cannot talk to you up here.

It's all right with me, Emily.

One thing I can do without up here in my
cabin is a woman's idle chatter.

Well, I think I'll go out and get some
wood.

Good idea, Howard.

Looks like it's going to be a darn cold
night.

Yeah, I'll be right back with that wood.

Eight -foot bear gets off the woodpile.

Ranger Davis, look.

Well, I'm glad we finally got you.

This is Herb Hartley. Look, I want to
report a bear sighting right outside my

cabin. Oh, yeah?

Did you get any pictures?

Well, no.

Howard here is the only one who saw him
here. Describe him.

Breaker, breaker.

The alleged bear had brown eyes and
brown hair.

He was kind of portly, tall, four paws.

Oh, yeah, he was naked.

I'll check back with you in the morning.
Oh, all right.

Yeah. Well, sure.

I hope I don't have to go down and look
at the lineup.

You know, that Ranger Davis is a pretty
good fella.

That's exactly the course of action I
was going to recommend.

That bear won't stay around here once he
realizes that there's no food around

here. Yeah, but there is food. Us.

Yeah, frozen food.

Fire's almost out. We're going to need
some wood before the night's over.

Well, who's going to go and get it?

Well, I don't know who is, but I know
who isn't.

The cupcake.

Of course you're not, Emily. This is a
job for a man.

Herb, you're the closest to the door.

I don't see anything out there.

Let me take a look. I know what he looks
like.

There's only one thing to do.

I'll be right back.

Herb, you're not going out there.

That's right, Emily.

It's my cabin. It's my duty.

Herb, you don't have to prove anything.
Not to anyone.

I mean, a bear is a very dangerous
animal.

You may have to be there off the wave
when you're ready to pounce. No, no,

Howard!

Now, you know what?

With my coat on, it's not too bad in
here.

Hey, would you believe it? that the
thermometer has gone up to a nice toasty

degrees.

Yeah.

No wonder I'm sweating.

I've never been so cold in my whole
life. Me either.

Well, of course you're going to be cold
if you stand around with nothing on you.

Come on now, put on your coats and your
mufflers and everything, and first thing

you know, you'll be roasting.

Yeah, we may even have to open up a
window.

Yeah. Herb, you really think we're going
to be warm enough? No, we're going to

have to get some wood before the night's
over, that's for sure.

Well, there's no need to go outside for
all the wood around here. Here, here,

look at these pencils.

They're highly flammable, you know. They
ought to burn for minutes.

Yeah, and that newspaper will burn. No,
no, I haven't read the funnies yet.

Yeah, that'll be blazing in no time.

Herb, you know, we can't really get by
without a fire.

Well, no need, no need. Not with all the
wood in here, that table, that table,

and...

Oh, Herb, not old Red.

No, Emily, it's only a chair.

Oh, Herb, that was your favorite chair.

What, this old thing?

I haven't been able to get rid of this
junk for ages.

Jerry, were you just outside?

Yeah, I went out the back way and left
my radio in the car.

Did you happen to see a bear out there?

Oh yeah, the big brown furry thing over
by the woodpile. Cute.

You sleep well?

Yeah.

You?

Well, I had this terrible dream that I
was locked inside of a refrigerator.

I realized I was still awake.

You know, I lay in bed there last night
listening to Howard's teeth chatter.

Suddenly dawned on me I'm not as young
as I used to be.

Oh, well, we're all getting older, Herb.

I mean, we're older than when we woke up
this morning.

Now I'm even more depressed.

You know, Emily, I... I really loved old
Red.

I know you did, Herb.

I don't know what got into me last
night.

Oh, who do I think I'm fooling? I know
what got into me. Fear.

Large dose of runaway fear.

I just got scared silly at the idea of
facing that bear.

You chased bears before?

What about that one you ran off in 42?

Well, Emily, that wasn't really a bear.

It was more like a bull.

Really what it actually was, like a cow.

Well, Herb, you know, cows can be mean.

You know, I've been thinking, Emily.

I've been coming up to this place for
nearly 40 years.

I'm getting old.

Maybe I ought to sell this place.

You know, I think that's a good idea,
Herb.

You do?

Yeah, you bet.

You know, a man of your years ought to
get into quieter hobbies. You know, like

checkers or cribbage or lawn bowling. I
hate those things.

Well, I mean, you'll get used to them in
time. I mean, Herb, you'd have so much

time to spend with your wife's
relatives.

Are you crazy?

You're not going to put me out to
pasture. Now, look here, Emily.

Oh, I know what you're doing.

And it worked.

Oh, boy, how it worked.

Herb, Herb, you belong here.

That's right.

And, you know, you don't have to be
Daniel Boone to prove it.

You know, I've been treating you pretty
shabbily.

Bears and women make me act foolish
sometimes.

I'm sorry.

Oh, Herb, it can happen to the best of
us. It's okay.

Want to go fishing?

Hey, Herb, I would love it. You catch
him, I'll clean him.

Hey, Howard!

Emily and I are going down the river.
Want to come along?

I better not. That bear may be looking
for me.

After all, I'm the one to put the finger
on him.

Come on, let's go catch our dinner.

I'm with you, cupcake.

like a weekend in the wilderness to make
you really appreciate nature, huh?