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1
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Transcripts from novels and synchro: wyxchari
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Psst!! Do you want to talk about it?
3
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I don't talk to strangers.
4
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Perhaps I can help.
5
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I didn't ask for any.
6
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You know you shouldn't sit here. It's dangerous.
7
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I don't care anymore. Let them get me.
8
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You don't have to face your
suffering alone, you know.
9
00:01:38,209 --> 00:01:39,709
What do you mean?
10
00:01:42,088 --> 00:01:46,356
There's a place. A secret place. Where some
of us gather to indulge their depressions,
11
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to share their miseries, with
other killjoys like you and me.
12
00:01:49,904 --> 00:01:51,108
I'm not a killjoy!
13
00:01:51,297 --> 00:01:53,422
That's what they would call you. You interested?
14
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:55,250
Perhaps.
15
00:01:55,548 --> 00:02:01,484
Oooh, it changed my life.
Here, my card. Here, take it!
16
00:02:04,532 --> 00:02:05,988
"Silas P"
17
00:02:06,597 --> 00:02:07,745
Other side!
18
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,299
But it says...
19
00:02:11,602 --> 00:02:16,545
"Happiness Patrol, Undercover"!!!
Time to get really depressed!!!!
20
00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:23,587
Have a nice death!
21
00:02:31,656 --> 00:02:33,004
How about a triceratops?
22
00:02:33,248 --> 00:02:35,313
A three-horned dinosaur with a mouth like a beak?
23
00:02:37,169 --> 00:02:39,503
The Brigadier saw one in
the London Underground once.
24
00:02:39,683 --> 00:02:40,855
And a tyrranosaurus rex?
25
00:02:41,097 --> 00:02:42,296
Met quite a few actually.
26
00:02:42,511 --> 00:02:44,342
Any pterodactyls?
27
00:02:44,628 --> 00:02:50,206
Lots of pterodactyls! We
should make a visit sometime.
28
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,259
To Earth in the Upper Cretaceous? Wicked!
29
00:02:53,417 --> 00:02:54,790
A very good time for dinosaurs!
30
00:02:54,933 --> 00:03:02,631
I love dinosaurs! But I hate that. Liff
music!! Where are we, Professor anyway?
31
00:03:02,954 --> 00:03:08,935
A planet, an Earth colony settled some
time in your future. Do you like it?
32
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,402
No.
33
00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:13,982
No, neither do I. Why not?
34
00:03:14,674 --> 00:03:17,762
Too phony. Too happy!
35
00:03:18,002 --> 00:03:21,000
Yes, I've been hearing disturbing
rumours about Terra Alpha.
36
00:03:21,447 --> 00:03:23,295
So I thought I'd better look in some time.
37
00:03:23,625 --> 00:03:24,733
So tonight's the night?
38
00:03:24,906 --> 00:03:28,092
Tonight's the night. I've been
hearing rumours of something evil,
39
00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:31,169
and we're going to get to the bottom of it!
40
00:03:33,264 --> 00:03:39,302
Your third badge, Silas P! 45 killjoys
to your credit! I'm very happy!
41
00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:41,789
I'm glad that you're happy
ma'am, but it is actually 47!
42
00:03:42,053 --> 00:03:45,141
I do the counting, thank you, Silas P.
43
00:03:45,448 --> 00:03:46,705
Sorry ma'am.
44
00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:50,453
Still, I like your initiative, your
enterprise. I'll see that you go far.
45
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:51,754
I might mean for the top.
46
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:56,796
Not quite the very top, Silas P?
47
00:04:01,047 --> 00:04:02,861
Professor, this music is winding me up!
48
00:04:03,056 --> 00:04:05,018
Yes, it makes you wonder how the natives stand it.
49
00:04:05,235 --> 00:04:06,402
I don't see any natives.
50
00:04:06,697 --> 00:04:07,868
Here comes one now!
51
00:04:08,195 --> 00:04:09,027
Name?
52
00:04:09,232 --> 00:04:09,858
Ace!
53
00:04:10,004 --> 00:04:13,562
No nicknames, aliases, pseudonyms,
nom-de-plumes. Real name!
54
00:04:13,783 --> 00:04:15,681
It is my real name! Tell him Professor!
55
00:04:15,877 --> 00:04:16,915
What's in a name?
56
00:04:17,059 --> 00:04:18,241
I could report you for that!
57
00:04:20,263 --> 00:04:22,164
Can you smell something, Professor?
58
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:26,558
Now that you come to mention it. You
will have to forgive my young friend,
59
00:04:26,761 --> 00:04:29,229
Ace, Mr, um, er you didn't tell me your name.
60
00:04:29,401 --> 00:04:31,438
You're right, I didn't give
it to you, but I don't have to.
61
00:04:31,586 --> 00:04:33,646
I'm on official business from Galactic Centre.
62
00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:35,658
How do I know you're telling the truth.
63
00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:37,786
Here, my identification.
64
00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:42,836
Thank you, "Trevor Sigma". Actually,
my nickname at collge was "Theta Sigma".
65
00:04:43,002 --> 00:04:44,261
No nicknames!!
66
00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:55,429
Right. Over there. This way!
67
00:05:04,744 --> 00:05:05,514
Well?
68
00:05:06,174 --> 00:05:06,973
Bullet holes.
69
00:05:07,899 --> 00:05:11,798
Yes, there is evil on Terra Alpha,
and we've got to put a stop to it.
70
00:05:12,953 --> 00:05:13,706
How long?
71
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:14,898
Tonight!
72
00:05:15,204 --> 00:05:16,265
Won't that be dangerous?
73
00:05:16,495 --> 00:05:18,594
Of course.
74
00:05:19,059 --> 00:05:20,218
Right, where do we start?
75
00:05:20,574 --> 00:05:22,069
First, we get ourselves arrested.
76
00:05:25,703 --> 00:05:26,881
Professor, what have they done!!
77
00:05:27,372 --> 00:05:29,501
Yes, looks good actually.
78
00:05:29,712 --> 00:05:31,515
You look unhappy about something.
79
00:05:31,729 --> 00:05:34,709
No, not really, just admiring your
handywork. Miserable looking thing!
80
00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:38,219
Our thoughts exactly. And you? Are you happy?
81
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:44,927
I would say she is, given the deeply distressing
nature of some fundamental universal truths.
82
00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:46,106
What do you mean?
83
00:05:46,321 --> 00:05:47,373
She's happy and I'm happy.
84
00:05:47,554 --> 00:05:49,698
Can't you afford a real gun? Gordon Bennet!
85
00:05:51,370 --> 00:05:54,134
I'm glad you're happy, but
what are you doing here?
86
00:05:54,574 --> 00:05:58,427
You don't look like locals!
In fact you look like killjoys!
87
00:06:01,077 --> 00:06:02,243
What's a killjoy?
88
00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:08,123
Alright, you must be from off-world. In
future stay within the specified tourist zones!
89
00:06:08,509 --> 00:06:09,308
What?
90
00:06:09,623 --> 00:06:10,886
You're free to go!
91
00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:12,520
You're not going to arrest us?
92
00:06:12,778 --> 00:06:14,038
I don't see why!
93
00:06:14,324 --> 00:06:15,780
Doctor, they're not going to arrest us!
94
00:06:16,113 --> 00:06:17,040
Badges.
95
00:06:17,347 --> 00:06:17,915
What?
96
00:06:18,172 --> 00:06:21,962
Yes, I believe all visitors
are issued badges at customs.
97
00:06:22,523 --> 00:06:25,374
Yes. Where're your badges?
98
00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:26,923
I've got badges
99
00:06:27,205 --> 00:06:28,107
She's got badges.
100
00:06:28,324 --> 00:06:29,354
This one's for top of Everest.
101
00:06:29,566 --> 00:06:30,936
Not interested. Where're your badges?
102
00:06:31,329 --> 00:06:33,583
Oh dear. I've seemed to lost them.
103
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:40,531
He is obviously a spy and she is his accomplice.
104
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:44,571
He will disappear and she will
audition for the Happiness Patrol!
105
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,293
What do you mean?
106
00:06:46,937 --> 00:06:48,420
You're under arrest!
107
00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:51,082
Phew! About time!
108
00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:58,308
What are you watching, dear?
109
00:06:58,573 --> 00:07:05,502
It's a videotape, dear, something called
"Routine Disappearance No. 499,987.
110
00:07:05,899 --> 00:07:08,546
Turn that off, dear, that's for my eyes only.
111
00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:09,691
Oh well...
112
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,799
And besides, you're missing my broadcast.
113
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:22,528
And finally, Joseph C and I wish to thank you
for your stirling work in catching the killjoys.
114
00:07:22,848 --> 00:07:26,218
Sit down my dear, you may find this instructive.
115
00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:33,318
Remember, keep smiling. Happiness will prevail!
116
00:07:39,049 --> 00:07:41,708
I thought we were arrested. I
thought we were going to prison.
117
00:07:43,526 --> 00:07:46,283
Hold the two bananas and nudge. Never fails.
118
00:07:49,907 --> 00:07:52,163
Oh well, can't win them all.
119
00:07:52,376 --> 00:07:54,445
That's all right, I don't like to win anymore.
120
00:07:54,676 --> 00:07:55,450
Why not?
121
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:59,573
First of all, I'm a killjoy. And
secondly, I don't like the prize!
122
00:08:00,187 --> 00:08:01,313
What is the prize?
123
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,942
You're about to find out.
124
00:08:06,044 --> 00:08:12,582
Congratulations and well
played! Here is your prize joke!
125
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:19,257
Did you hear about the killjoy who won
an outing with the Happiness Patrol?
126
00:08:19,694 --> 00:08:25,345
He was tickled to death! Enjoy yourself.
127
00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:28,353
I see what you mean. The delivery's terrible.
128
00:08:28,610 --> 00:08:30,339
The joke's not much good either.
129
00:08:30,507 --> 00:08:31,868
You're right. It's tastless, smug,
130
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:35,101
and worst of all it's badly constructed,
I mean, who writes that stuff?
131
00:08:35,285 --> 00:08:36,209
I wrote it!
132
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:37,390
YOU wrote it?
133
00:08:37,557 --> 00:08:42,461
That's right. I used to be her gag writer, when
I was Harold F. Then my brother disappeared.
134
00:08:42,808 --> 00:08:46,805
I heard of other disappearences. They
caught me in the rocket port zone,
135
00:08:46,968 --> 00:08:52,266
trying to contact Terra Omega, and they
put me in here and regeraded me to Harold V.
136
00:08:54,931 --> 00:08:58,285
But why are we being kept
here? Why don't we just leave?
137
00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,866
Excuse me?
138
00:09:00,177 --> 00:09:00,934
Yeesss?
139
00:09:01,153 --> 00:09:02,066
Is this a prison?
140
00:09:02,273 --> 00:09:06,378
A prison? Of course not! This is the Waiting Zone.
141
00:09:06,762 --> 00:09:11,440
We don't have any prisons on
Terra Alpha, miserable places!
142
00:09:11,732 --> 00:09:18,104
So what you're saying that this isn't a place of
incarceration, and we're free to go if we wish?
143
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:23,763
Well, yes and no. This isn't a prison...
but cross that line, and you're a dead man.
144
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:45,352
Congratulations. Bad luck, old man. Still, we
have to be fair. Wouldn't treat you otherwise.
145
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,990
So what you're telling me is that Helen
A punches people for wearing dark clothes?
146
00:09:51,232 --> 00:09:55,089
That's right. It also goes
for listening to slow music,
147
00:09:55,342 --> 00:09:58,444
and reading poems. Unless
they're limericks, of course.
148
00:09:58,686 --> 00:09:59,603
This is terrible!
149
00:09:59,747 --> 00:10:03,225
Walking in the rain too, if you're on
your own and don't carry an umbrella.
150
00:10:03,498 --> 00:10:05,197
Why don't people stand up to her?
151
00:10:05,486 --> 00:10:06,885
The people are scared!
152
00:10:07,204 --> 00:10:09,159
Remember the Happiness Patrol, Ace!
153
00:10:09,474 --> 00:10:10,453
Bunch of ratbags!
154
00:10:10,656 --> 00:10:12,059
Ratbags with guns!
155
00:10:12,318 --> 00:10:18,137
The Happiness Patrol are the nice side of her
regime! Do you know who the Kandyman is, Doctor?
156
00:10:18,324 --> 00:10:19,249
Sounds rather sweet.
157
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,088
He's dangerous! He's doing
experiments, and that's why we're here.
158
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,439
He needs guinea pigs: guinea pigs like you and me!
159
00:10:27,288 --> 00:10:29,013
What sort of experiments?
160
00:10:29,248 --> 00:10:30,458
Can't find out.
161
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,869
What else does he do, this Kandyman?
162
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,943
He makes sweets.
163
00:10:36,232 --> 00:10:37,666
You wanted to see me ma'am?
164
00:10:37,892 --> 00:10:43,898
Just curiousity. I wanted to know what
the Kandyman had cooked up for us tonight?
165
00:10:44,231 --> 00:10:46,519
It's a 'fondant surprise'.
166
00:10:46,995 --> 00:10:48,253
Flavour?
167
00:10:48,609 --> 00:10:50,152
Strawberry.
168
00:10:50,452 --> 00:10:53,727
Delicious! My favourite.
169
00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:03,402
So you reckon the Kandyman's the
one behind all the disappearances?
170
00:11:03,577 --> 00:11:07,345
One of the ones. There are 3
ways to disappear on Terra Alpha.
171
00:11:07,675 --> 00:11:14,122
The Late Show at the Forum, a visit to
the Kandy Kitchen, and something else.
172
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,551
What sort of something else?
173
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:22,403
I don't know. Rumour has it that
Helen A prefers the firing squad.
174
00:11:23,108 --> 00:11:33,329
It says here, that you have been "found guilty
of an ostentatious display of public grief"?
175
00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:36,020
Oh dear!
176
00:11:36,289 --> 00:11:37,476
PATROL!!!
177
00:11:41,778 --> 00:11:46,180
And so you have been sentenced to the
severest penalty decreed by Helen A!
178
00:11:46,535 --> 00:11:49,480
PATROL, DISMISS!
179
00:12:56,299 --> 00:12:58,205
The fondant supreme!
180
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:00,812
Time we were going, Professor?
181
00:13:01,134 --> 00:13:04,286
We've got a night's work ahead of
us, and I think we've learned enough.
182
00:13:04,515 --> 00:13:05,729
Ace! A prison break!
183
00:13:05,924 --> 00:13:07,818
A waiting zone break.
184
00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:10,392
And I think we'll take our new friend with us.
185
00:13:10,744 --> 00:13:11,434
What's that?
186
00:13:11,588 --> 00:13:12,482
We're going to escape.
187
00:13:13,508 --> 00:13:14,840
There is no escape.
188
00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:18,144
Well, I must be going.
189
00:13:18,335 --> 00:13:22,507
So soon. We haven't finished yet. There's
still his brother Harold V to deal with.
190
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,298
Ah yes, his brother.
191
00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:28,334
Families are very important to people's happiness.
192
00:13:38,248 --> 00:13:40,461
I think he got a buzz out of that.
193
00:13:40,704 --> 00:13:41,367
Shut up!
194
00:13:41,542 --> 00:13:42,280
Easy, Ace!
195
00:13:42,383 --> 00:13:44,185
Rather a shocking experience.
196
00:13:44,342 --> 00:13:45,257
Let me get at her!
197
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:46,453
Save the anger.
198
00:13:48,498 --> 00:13:50,189
You're no good to me like this.
199
00:13:51,026 --> 00:13:55,098
I want to nail those scumbags. I
want to make them very, very unhappy.
200
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:58,654
Don't worry. We will.
201
00:14:12,486 --> 00:14:14,893
What time you cook this?
202
00:14:31,142 --> 00:14:32,660
- Tell me.
- Yes.
203
00:14:32,897 --> 00:14:34,851
I was wondering about your go-kart.
204
00:14:35,022 --> 00:14:37,287
- It's not my go-kart. It's
the waiting zone gokart. - Yes.
205
00:14:38,118 --> 00:14:39,638
I was *****.
206
00:14:39,832 --> 00:14:42,019
If I were to get into it and
drive off, what would you do?
207
00:14:42,891 --> 00:14:44,293
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
208
00:14:44,861 --> 00:14:46,000
Nothing.
209
00:14:46,273 --> 00:14:49,954
- You wouldn't raise the alarm, shoot us.
- Nothing.
210
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:56,235
You're right. It is booby-trapped.
211
00:15:07,152 --> 00:15:10,492
You dear me you my darling?
212
00:15:11,212 --> 00:15:15,985
Well, you *****. I ***** now.
213
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:19,755
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
214
00:15:20,009 --> 00:15:22,361
- You're not thinking of starting that?
- No.
215
00:15:22,823 --> 00:15:24,627
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
216
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:35,351
Give it to me. Get off.
217
00:15:35,553 --> 00:15:37,383
It's a bomb, isn't it?
218
00:15:37,745 --> 00:15:39,521
I'm trying to defuse it.
219
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:40,968
Let me have a go.
220
00:15:41,338 --> 00:15:43,912
I'm trying not to blow us both to pieces.
221
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,339
I never get to have any fun.
222
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,063
Start the go-kart.
223
00:15:55,797 --> 00:15:56,735
You can drive.
224
00:16:38,352 --> 00:16:39,368
What do you want, Professor?
225
00:16:39,577 --> 00:16:41,188
I haven't caught you at a bad time.
226
00:16:42,145 --> 00:16:42,815
*****.
227
00:16:47,468 --> 00:16:48,381
Hey!
228
00:16:48,723 --> 00:16:51,748
I arrest you for the evasion
of Happiness Patrol auditions.
229
00:16:51,963 --> 00:16:56,367
Where are they? What do you mean? The
question is, are they ready for me?
230
00:16:56,539 --> 00:17:02,019
Take her back to the Happiness Patrol headquarters
and we'll continue the search for the spy.
231
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:10,042
That should do it. Ace?
232
00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:13,576
Nice of the Happiness Patrol
to leave us in peace. Ace?
233
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,047
I think enjoy this.
234
00:17:23,363 --> 00:17:25,120
OK, stop there Ace now.
235
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:27,295
Good. Do you know any jokes?
236
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:28,963
I always forget jokes.
237
00:17:29,141 --> 00:17:30,369
How about songs?
238
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:33,485
I know this great song about
this guy and his girlfriend.
239
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,537
She drops the ring he gave her on a railway track,
240
00:17:35,691 --> 00:17:37,613
and when she goes back to get
it she's killed by a train,
241
00:17:37,835 --> 00:17:41,211
so he's really miserable for the
rest of his life. It's fantastic.
242
00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:44,792
Happy songs, Ace. Songs about
sunshine and furry animals.
243
00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:12,183
I woke up one morning...
244
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:13,572
I know that song.
245
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,094
There are a million blues
songs that start like that.
246
00:18:16,786 --> 00:18:21,412
But I did wake up one morning.
Suddenly something was very clear.
247
00:18:22,228 --> 00:18:27,018
I couldn't go on, smiling. Smiling
while my friends disappeared.
248
00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:31,083
Wearing this uniform. Smiling and
trying to pretend I'm someone I'm not.
249
00:18:31,729 --> 00:18:33,791
Trying to pretend I'm happy.
250
00:18:36,495 --> 00:18:38,148
Better to let it end.
251
00:18:38,753 --> 00:18:41,778
Better just to relax and let it happen.
252
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:48,106
I woke up one morning and
realized, it was all over.
253
00:18:49,914 --> 00:18:51,446
Look, I'm sorry.
254
00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,825
I think we'll abandon our rehearsal.
255
00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:57,102
I'm not Happiness Patrol material anyway.
256
00:18:57,708 --> 00:18:59,631
They stand for everything I hate.
257
00:18:59,992 --> 00:19:04,872
Like you said, smiling all the time,
smiling when it doesn't mean anything.
258
00:19:06,442 --> 00:19:12,479
I'm not one of them. I can't twirl
a baton; I can't dance; I can't sing.
259
00:19:14,461 --> 00:19:17,262
No, but there is one thing
you might be very good at.
260
00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:18,750
Oh yeah?
261
00:19:18,978 --> 00:19:20,421
A disappearing act.
262
00:19:21,696 --> 00:19:22,790
What do I have to do?
263
00:19:22,998 --> 00:19:30,625
It's simple, I ***** the sky and I close
my eyes. When I open them you're gone.
264
00:19:58,382 --> 00:19:59,155
Excuse me.
265
00:19:59,487 --> 00:20:02,244
You wouldn't have a small
automotive jack, would you?
266
00:20:02,447 --> 00:20:06,002
I'm afraid not. But I can offer
you the hand of friendship.
267
00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,291
Sit down. Tell me about yourself.
268
00:20:10,938 --> 00:20:13,433
I'm looking for Helen A. Perhaps you
could point me in the right direction.
269
00:20:13,619 --> 00:20:14,877
I can tell you where to find her.
270
00:20:15,069 --> 00:20:17,298
- But when you meet you make sure you're smiling.
- Smiling?
271
00:20:17,451 --> 00:20:20,574
She hates miserable people. Haven't
you heard about the massacre?
272
00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:21,914
I've heard rumours.
273
00:20:22,056 --> 00:20:25,361
She sent out her spies to find the
most depressing township on the planet.
274
00:20:25,585 --> 00:20:28,390
The Happiness Patrol went in and
razed the place to the ground.
275
00:20:28,565 --> 00:20:29,765
But why?
276
00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:33,905
Policy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to distress you.
277
00:20:34,078 --> 00:20:36,456
I'm not distressed, I'm angry. Why do
the people let her walk all over them?
278
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:40,429
There are lots of reasons. The
Happiness Patrol, the Kandy Man.
279
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:42,861
The Kandy Man! He's next
on my list of people to see.
280
00:20:43,048 --> 00:20:47,114
Then I'd cross him off fast if I were you. He's
Helen A's henchman, does all her dirty work.
281
00:20:48,864 --> 00:20:54,605
There are small pockets of resistance,
though. Quiet murmurings of rebellion.
282
00:20:54,793 --> 00:20:55,997
- Are you interested?
- But of course.
283
00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:58,023
There's a place, a secret place,
284
00:20:58,196 --> 00:21:01,078
where we're planning for the day when Helen
A and the Kandy Man will be called to account.
285
00:21:01,702 --> 00:21:03,288
Here, my card.
286
00:21:03,779 --> 00:21:07,272
- Thanks. Silas P.
- Other side.
287
00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:10,854
Happiness Patrol undercover. Excellent!
Perhaps you could take a message...
288
00:21:15,299 --> 00:21:16,531
- Are you a musician?
- Sort of.
289
00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:19,124
- Shall we go?
- You better go.
290
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:33,311
You not can help me Silas. *****
291
00:21:34,389 --> 00:21:35,847
No! Wait!
292
00:21:40,426 --> 00:21:42,345
- I'm the Doctor.
- Earl Sigma.
293
00:21:43,743 --> 00:21:44,986
A sort of musician?
294
00:21:45,222 --> 00:21:47,637
No. Realy a medical student.
Fifth year post med psychology.
295
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:48,976
What does the Sigma stands for?
296
00:21:49,170 --> 00:21:51,089
Stands for alien. All visitors are called Sigma.
297
00:21:51,380 --> 00:21:52,790
So you're travelling through the colonies?
298
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:56,080
Yeah, I'm on vacation, paying my way
with music. But I kind of got stuck here.
299
00:21:56,278 --> 00:21:58,664
It's a interesting planet from
a psychological standpoint.
300
00:21:58,856 --> 00:22:02,341
- Yes. You better go.
- No. This way. There's someone I'd like to meet.
301
00:22:11,384 --> 00:22:12,614
What is this place?
302
00:22:12,818 --> 00:22:14,961
I believe it's where they make sweets.
303
00:22:16,276 --> 00:22:17,601
*****
304
00:22:34,684 --> 00:22:40,458
They think it's easy. A thousand
pounds of praline cracknel indeed!
305
00:22:40,761 --> 00:22:44,340
They don't know about his moods.
He's terrible when he's roused.
306
00:22:44,733 --> 00:22:48,259
I tell them but they don't believe me.
They're lucky they get any sweets at all.
307
00:22:48,656 --> 00:22:51,807
Enough! Where are my specimens?
308
00:22:51,982 --> 00:22:54,777
If they think it's so easy they should
have a go at making sweets themselves.
309
00:22:55,011 --> 00:22:57,665
Most of them wouldn't know
popcorn from peppermints.
310
00:22:57,838 --> 00:23:03,170
I said where are my specimens.
It's time for an experiment.
311
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,027
I think they just nipped under the table.
312
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,405
There's no one here.
313
00:23:09,601 --> 00:23:11,470
- But I saw them.
- Show me.
314
00:23:17,355 --> 00:23:20,794
Well I'll... I could have
sworn they were under here.
315
00:23:21,015 --> 00:23:24,653
I can feel one of my moods coming on.
316
00:23:27,813 --> 00:23:31,113
Welcome to the Kandy Kitchen, gentlemen.
317
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:33,899
I'm sure the pleasure will be ours.
318
00:23:34,087 --> 00:23:40,851
I do hope so, I like my volunteers
to die with smiles on their faces.
25290
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