All language subtitles for Doctor.Who.S25E02.The.Happiness.Patrol.Part1.1080p.BluRay.x264-PFa.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,991 --> 00:00:09,636 Transcripts from novels and synchro: wyxchari 2 00:01:18,493 --> 00:01:20,761 Psst!! Do you want to talk about it? 3 00:01:20,983 --> 00:01:22,226 I don't talk to strangers. 4 00:01:22,426 --> 00:01:23,429 Perhaps I can help. 5 00:01:23,594 --> 00:01:25,147 I didn't ask for any. 6 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,892 You know you shouldn't sit here. It's dangerous. 7 00:01:28,368 --> 00:01:32,422 I don't care anymore. Let them get me. 8 00:01:33,114 --> 00:01:36,023 You don't have to face your suffering alone, you know. 9 00:01:38,209 --> 00:01:39,709 What do you mean? 10 00:01:42,088 --> 00:01:46,356 There's a place. A secret place. Where some of us gather to indulge their depressions, 11 00:01:46,557 --> 00:01:49,334 to share their miseries, with other killjoys like you and me. 12 00:01:49,904 --> 00:01:51,108 I'm not a killjoy! 13 00:01:51,297 --> 00:01:53,422 That's what they would call you. You interested? 14 00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:55,250 Perhaps. 15 00:01:55,548 --> 00:02:01,484 Oooh, it changed my life. Here, my card. Here, take it! 16 00:02:04,532 --> 00:02:05,988 "Silas P" 17 00:02:06,597 --> 00:02:07,745 Other side! 18 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,299 But it says... 19 00:02:11,602 --> 00:02:16,545 "Happiness Patrol, Undercover"!!! Time to get really depressed!!!! 20 00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:23,587 Have a nice death! 21 00:02:31,656 --> 00:02:33,004 How about a triceratops? 22 00:02:33,248 --> 00:02:35,313 A three-horned dinosaur with a mouth like a beak? 23 00:02:37,169 --> 00:02:39,503 The Brigadier saw one in the London Underground once. 24 00:02:39,683 --> 00:02:40,855 And a tyrranosaurus rex? 25 00:02:41,097 --> 00:02:42,296 Met quite a few actually. 26 00:02:42,511 --> 00:02:44,342 Any pterodactyls? 27 00:02:44,628 --> 00:02:50,206 Lots of pterodactyls! We should make a visit sometime. 28 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,259 To Earth in the Upper Cretaceous? Wicked! 29 00:02:53,417 --> 00:02:54,790 A very good time for dinosaurs! 30 00:02:54,933 --> 00:03:02,631 I love dinosaurs! But I hate that. Liff music!! Where are we, Professor anyway? 31 00:03:02,954 --> 00:03:08,935 A planet, an Earth colony settled some time in your future. Do you like it? 32 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,402 No. 33 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:13,982 No, neither do I. Why not? 34 00:03:14,674 --> 00:03:17,762 Too phony. Too happy! 35 00:03:18,002 --> 00:03:21,000 Yes, I've been hearing disturbing rumours about Terra Alpha. 36 00:03:21,447 --> 00:03:23,295 So I thought I'd better look in some time. 37 00:03:23,625 --> 00:03:24,733 So tonight's the night? 38 00:03:24,906 --> 00:03:28,092 Tonight's the night. I've been hearing rumours of something evil, 39 00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:31,169 and we're going to get to the bottom of it! 40 00:03:33,264 --> 00:03:39,302 Your third badge, Silas P! 45 killjoys to your credit! I'm very happy! 41 00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:41,789 I'm glad that you're happy ma'am, but it is actually 47! 42 00:03:42,053 --> 00:03:45,141 I do the counting, thank you, Silas P. 43 00:03:45,448 --> 00:03:46,705 Sorry ma'am. 44 00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:50,453 Still, I like your initiative, your enterprise. I'll see that you go far. 45 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:51,754 I might mean for the top. 46 00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:56,796 Not quite the very top, Silas P? 47 00:04:01,047 --> 00:04:02,861 Professor, this music is winding me up! 48 00:04:03,056 --> 00:04:05,018 Yes, it makes you wonder how the natives stand it. 49 00:04:05,235 --> 00:04:06,402 I don't see any natives. 50 00:04:06,697 --> 00:04:07,868 Here comes one now! 51 00:04:08,195 --> 00:04:09,027 Name? 52 00:04:09,232 --> 00:04:09,858 Ace! 53 00:04:10,004 --> 00:04:13,562 No nicknames, aliases, pseudonyms, nom-de-plumes. Real name! 54 00:04:13,783 --> 00:04:15,681 It is my real name! Tell him Professor! 55 00:04:15,877 --> 00:04:16,915 What's in a name? 56 00:04:17,059 --> 00:04:18,241 I could report you for that! 57 00:04:20,263 --> 00:04:22,164 Can you smell something, Professor? 58 00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:26,558 Now that you come to mention it. You will have to forgive my young friend, 59 00:04:26,761 --> 00:04:29,229 Ace, Mr, um, er you didn't tell me your name. 60 00:04:29,401 --> 00:04:31,438 You're right, I didn't give it to you, but I don't have to. 61 00:04:31,586 --> 00:04:33,646 I'm on official business from Galactic Centre. 62 00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:35,658 How do I know you're telling the truth. 63 00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:37,786 Here, my identification. 64 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:42,836 Thank you, "Trevor Sigma". Actually, my nickname at collge was "Theta Sigma". 65 00:04:43,002 --> 00:04:44,261 No nicknames!! 66 00:04:53,977 --> 00:04:55,429 Right. Over there. This way! 67 00:05:04,744 --> 00:05:05,514 Well? 68 00:05:06,174 --> 00:05:06,973 Bullet holes. 69 00:05:07,899 --> 00:05:11,798 Yes, there is evil on Terra Alpha, and we've got to put a stop to it. 70 00:05:12,953 --> 00:05:13,706 How long? 71 00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:14,898 Tonight! 72 00:05:15,204 --> 00:05:16,265 Won't that be dangerous? 73 00:05:16,495 --> 00:05:18,594 Of course. 74 00:05:19,059 --> 00:05:20,218 Right, where do we start? 75 00:05:20,574 --> 00:05:22,069 First, we get ourselves arrested. 76 00:05:25,703 --> 00:05:26,881 Professor, what have they done!! 77 00:05:27,372 --> 00:05:29,501 Yes, looks good actually. 78 00:05:29,712 --> 00:05:31,515 You look unhappy about something. 79 00:05:31,729 --> 00:05:34,709 No, not really, just admiring your handywork. Miserable looking thing! 80 00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:38,219 Our thoughts exactly. And you? Are you happy? 81 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:44,927 I would say she is, given the deeply distressing nature of some fundamental universal truths. 82 00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:46,106 What do you mean? 83 00:05:46,321 --> 00:05:47,373 She's happy and I'm happy. 84 00:05:47,554 --> 00:05:49,698 Can't you afford a real gun? Gordon Bennet! 85 00:05:51,370 --> 00:05:54,134 I'm glad you're happy, but what are you doing here? 86 00:05:54,574 --> 00:05:58,427 You don't look like locals! In fact you look like killjoys! 87 00:06:01,077 --> 00:06:02,243 What's a killjoy? 88 00:06:02,709 --> 00:06:08,123 Alright, you must be from off-world. In future stay within the specified tourist zones! 89 00:06:08,509 --> 00:06:09,308 What? 90 00:06:09,623 --> 00:06:10,886 You're free to go! 91 00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:12,520 You're not going to arrest us? 92 00:06:12,778 --> 00:06:14,038 I don't see why! 93 00:06:14,324 --> 00:06:15,780 Doctor, they're not going to arrest us! 94 00:06:16,113 --> 00:06:17,040 Badges. 95 00:06:17,347 --> 00:06:17,915 What? 96 00:06:18,172 --> 00:06:21,962 Yes, I believe all visitors are issued badges at customs. 97 00:06:22,523 --> 00:06:25,374 Yes. Where're your badges? 98 00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:26,923 I've got badges 99 00:06:27,205 --> 00:06:28,107 She's got badges. 100 00:06:28,324 --> 00:06:29,354 This one's for top of Everest. 101 00:06:29,566 --> 00:06:30,936 Not interested. Where're your badges? 102 00:06:31,329 --> 00:06:33,583 Oh dear. I've seemed to lost them. 103 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:40,531 He is obviously a spy and she is his accomplice. 104 00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:44,571 He will disappear and she will audition for the Happiness Patrol! 105 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,293 What do you mean? 106 00:06:46,937 --> 00:06:48,420 You're under arrest! 107 00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:51,082 Phew! About time! 108 00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:58,308 What are you watching, dear? 109 00:06:58,573 --> 00:07:05,502 It's a videotape, dear, something called "Routine Disappearance No. 499,987. 110 00:07:05,899 --> 00:07:08,546 Turn that off, dear, that's for my eyes only. 111 00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:09,691 Oh well... 112 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,799 And besides, you're missing my broadcast. 113 00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:22,528 And finally, Joseph C and I wish to thank you for your stirling work in catching the killjoys. 114 00:07:22,848 --> 00:07:26,218 Sit down my dear, you may find this instructive. 115 00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:33,318 Remember, keep smiling. Happiness will prevail! 116 00:07:39,049 --> 00:07:41,708 I thought we were arrested. I thought we were going to prison. 117 00:07:43,526 --> 00:07:46,283 Hold the two bananas and nudge. Never fails. 118 00:07:49,907 --> 00:07:52,163 Oh well, can't win them all. 119 00:07:52,376 --> 00:07:54,445 That's all right, I don't like to win anymore. 120 00:07:54,676 --> 00:07:55,450 Why not? 121 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:59,573 First of all, I'm a killjoy. And secondly, I don't like the prize! 122 00:08:00,187 --> 00:08:01,313 What is the prize? 123 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,942 You're about to find out. 124 00:08:06,044 --> 00:08:12,582 Congratulations and well played! Here is your prize joke! 125 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:19,257 Did you hear about the killjoy who won an outing with the Happiness Patrol? 126 00:08:19,694 --> 00:08:25,345 He was tickled to death! Enjoy yourself. 127 00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:28,353 I see what you mean. The delivery's terrible. 128 00:08:28,610 --> 00:08:30,339 The joke's not much good either. 129 00:08:30,507 --> 00:08:31,868 You're right. It's tastless, smug, 130 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:35,101 and worst of all it's badly constructed, I mean, who writes that stuff? 131 00:08:35,285 --> 00:08:36,209 I wrote it! 132 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:37,390 YOU wrote it? 133 00:08:37,557 --> 00:08:42,461 That's right. I used to be her gag writer, when I was Harold F. Then my brother disappeared. 134 00:08:42,808 --> 00:08:46,805 I heard of other disappearences. They caught me in the rocket port zone, 135 00:08:46,968 --> 00:08:52,266 trying to contact Terra Omega, and they put me in here and regeraded me to Harold V. 136 00:08:54,931 --> 00:08:58,285 But why are we being kept here? Why don't we just leave? 137 00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,866 Excuse me? 138 00:09:00,177 --> 00:09:00,934 Yeesss? 139 00:09:01,153 --> 00:09:02,066 Is this a prison? 140 00:09:02,273 --> 00:09:06,378 A prison? Of course not! This is the Waiting Zone. 141 00:09:06,762 --> 00:09:11,440 We don't have any prisons on Terra Alpha, miserable places! 142 00:09:11,732 --> 00:09:18,104 So what you're saying that this isn't a place of incarceration, and we're free to go if we wish? 143 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:23,763 Well, yes and no. This isn't a prison... but cross that line, and you're a dead man. 144 00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:45,352 Congratulations. Bad luck, old man. Still, we have to be fair. Wouldn't treat you otherwise. 145 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,990 So what you're telling me is that Helen A punches people for wearing dark clothes? 146 00:09:51,232 --> 00:09:55,089 That's right. It also goes for listening to slow music, 147 00:09:55,342 --> 00:09:58,444 and reading poems. Unless they're limericks, of course. 148 00:09:58,686 --> 00:09:59,603 This is terrible! 149 00:09:59,747 --> 00:10:03,225 Walking in the rain too, if you're on your own and don't carry an umbrella. 150 00:10:03,498 --> 00:10:05,197 Why don't people stand up to her? 151 00:10:05,486 --> 00:10:06,885 The people are scared! 152 00:10:07,204 --> 00:10:09,159 Remember the Happiness Patrol, Ace! 153 00:10:09,474 --> 00:10:10,453 Bunch of ratbags! 154 00:10:10,656 --> 00:10:12,059 Ratbags with guns! 155 00:10:12,318 --> 00:10:18,137 The Happiness Patrol are the nice side of her regime! Do you know who the Kandyman is, Doctor? 156 00:10:18,324 --> 00:10:19,249 Sounds rather sweet. 157 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,088 He's dangerous! He's doing experiments, and that's why we're here. 158 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,439 He needs guinea pigs: guinea pigs like you and me! 159 00:10:27,288 --> 00:10:29,013 What sort of experiments? 160 00:10:29,248 --> 00:10:30,458 Can't find out. 161 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,869 What else does he do, this Kandyman? 162 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,943 He makes sweets. 163 00:10:36,232 --> 00:10:37,666 You wanted to see me ma'am? 164 00:10:37,892 --> 00:10:43,898 Just curiousity. I wanted to know what the Kandyman had cooked up for us tonight? 165 00:10:44,231 --> 00:10:46,519 It's a 'fondant surprise'. 166 00:10:46,995 --> 00:10:48,253 Flavour? 167 00:10:48,609 --> 00:10:50,152 Strawberry. 168 00:10:50,452 --> 00:10:53,727 Delicious! My favourite. 169 00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:03,402 So you reckon the Kandyman's the one behind all the disappearances? 170 00:11:03,577 --> 00:11:07,345 One of the ones. There are 3 ways to disappear on Terra Alpha. 171 00:11:07,675 --> 00:11:14,122 The Late Show at the Forum, a visit to the Kandy Kitchen, and something else. 172 00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,551 What sort of something else? 173 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:22,403 I don't know. Rumour has it that Helen A prefers the firing squad. 174 00:11:23,108 --> 00:11:33,329 It says here, that you have been "found guilty of an ostentatious display of public grief"? 175 00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:36,020 Oh dear! 176 00:11:36,289 --> 00:11:37,476 PATROL!!! 177 00:11:41,778 --> 00:11:46,180 And so you have been sentenced to the severest penalty decreed by Helen A! 178 00:11:46,535 --> 00:11:49,480 PATROL, DISMISS! 179 00:12:56,299 --> 00:12:58,205 The fondant supreme! 180 00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:00,812 Time we were going, Professor? 181 00:13:01,134 --> 00:13:04,286 We've got a night's work ahead of us, and I think we've learned enough. 182 00:13:04,515 --> 00:13:05,729 Ace! A prison break! 183 00:13:05,924 --> 00:13:07,818 A waiting zone break. 184 00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:10,392 And I think we'll take our new friend with us. 185 00:13:10,744 --> 00:13:11,434 What's that? 186 00:13:11,588 --> 00:13:12,482 We're going to escape. 187 00:13:13,508 --> 00:13:14,840 There is no escape. 188 00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:18,144 Well, I must be going. 189 00:13:18,335 --> 00:13:22,507 So soon. We haven't finished yet. There's still his brother Harold V to deal with. 190 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:24,298 Ah yes, his brother. 191 00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:28,334 Families are very important to people's happiness. 192 00:13:38,248 --> 00:13:40,461 I think he got a buzz out of that. 193 00:13:40,704 --> 00:13:41,367 Shut up! 194 00:13:41,542 --> 00:13:42,280 Easy, Ace! 195 00:13:42,383 --> 00:13:44,185 Rather a shocking experience. 196 00:13:44,342 --> 00:13:45,257 Let me get at her! 197 00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:46,453 Save the anger. 198 00:13:48,498 --> 00:13:50,189 You're no good to me like this. 199 00:13:51,026 --> 00:13:55,098 I want to nail those scumbags. I want to make them very, very unhappy. 200 00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:58,654 Don't worry. We will. 201 00:14:12,486 --> 00:14:14,893 What time you cook this? 202 00:14:31,142 --> 00:14:32,660 - Tell me. - Yes. 203 00:14:32,897 --> 00:14:34,851 I was wondering about your go-kart. 204 00:14:35,022 --> 00:14:37,287 - It's not my go-kart. It's the waiting zone gokart. - Yes. 205 00:14:38,118 --> 00:14:39,638 I was *****. 206 00:14:39,832 --> 00:14:42,019 If I were to get into it and drive off, what would you do? 207 00:14:42,891 --> 00:14:44,293 - Nothing. - Nothing? 208 00:14:44,861 --> 00:14:46,000 Nothing. 209 00:14:46,273 --> 00:14:49,954 - You wouldn't raise the alarm, shoot us. - Nothing. 210 00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:56,235 You're right. It is booby-trapped. 211 00:15:07,152 --> 00:15:10,492 You dear me you my darling? 212 00:15:11,212 --> 00:15:15,985 Well, you *****. I ***** now. 213 00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:19,755 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 214 00:15:20,009 --> 00:15:22,361 - You're not thinking of starting that? - No. 215 00:15:22,823 --> 00:15:24,627 - Are you sure? - Yes. 216 00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:35,351 Give it to me. Get off. 217 00:15:35,553 --> 00:15:37,383 It's a bomb, isn't it? 218 00:15:37,745 --> 00:15:39,521 I'm trying to defuse it. 219 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:40,968 Let me have a go. 220 00:15:41,338 --> 00:15:43,912 I'm trying not to blow us both to pieces. 221 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,339 I never get to have any fun. 222 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,063 Start the go-kart. 223 00:15:55,797 --> 00:15:56,735 You can drive. 224 00:16:38,352 --> 00:16:39,368 What do you want, Professor? 225 00:16:39,577 --> 00:16:41,188 I haven't caught you at a bad time. 226 00:16:42,145 --> 00:16:42,815 *****. 227 00:16:47,468 --> 00:16:48,381 Hey! 228 00:16:48,723 --> 00:16:51,748 I arrest you for the evasion of Happiness Patrol auditions. 229 00:16:51,963 --> 00:16:56,367 Where are they? What do you mean? The question is, are they ready for me? 230 00:16:56,539 --> 00:17:02,019 Take her back to the Happiness Patrol headquarters and we'll continue the search for the spy. 231 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:10,042 That should do it. Ace? 232 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:13,576 Nice of the Happiness Patrol to leave us in peace. Ace? 233 00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,047 I think enjoy this. 234 00:17:23,363 --> 00:17:25,120 OK, stop there Ace now. 235 00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:27,295 Good. Do you know any jokes? 236 00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:28,963 I always forget jokes. 237 00:17:29,141 --> 00:17:30,369 How about songs? 238 00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:33,485 I know this great song about this guy and his girlfriend. 239 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,537 She drops the ring he gave her on a railway track, 240 00:17:35,691 --> 00:17:37,613 and when she goes back to get it she's killed by a train, 241 00:17:37,835 --> 00:17:41,211 so he's really miserable for the rest of his life. It's fantastic. 242 00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:44,792 Happy songs, Ace. Songs about sunshine and furry animals. 243 00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:12,183 I woke up one morning... 244 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:13,572 I know that song. 245 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,094 There are a million blues songs that start like that. 246 00:18:16,786 --> 00:18:21,412 But I did wake up one morning. Suddenly something was very clear. 247 00:18:22,228 --> 00:18:27,018 I couldn't go on, smiling. Smiling while my friends disappeared. 248 00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:31,083 Wearing this uniform. Smiling and trying to pretend I'm someone I'm not. 249 00:18:31,729 --> 00:18:33,791 Trying to pretend I'm happy. 250 00:18:36,495 --> 00:18:38,148 Better to let it end. 251 00:18:38,753 --> 00:18:41,778 Better just to relax and let it happen. 252 00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:48,106 I woke up one morning and realized, it was all over. 253 00:18:49,914 --> 00:18:51,446 Look, I'm sorry. 254 00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:53,825 I think we'll abandon our rehearsal. 255 00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:57,102 I'm not Happiness Patrol material anyway. 256 00:18:57,708 --> 00:18:59,631 They stand for everything I hate. 257 00:18:59,992 --> 00:19:04,872 Like you said, smiling all the time, smiling when it doesn't mean anything. 258 00:19:06,442 --> 00:19:12,479 I'm not one of them. I can't twirl a baton; I can't dance; I can't sing. 259 00:19:14,461 --> 00:19:17,262 No, but there is one thing you might be very good at. 260 00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:18,750 Oh yeah? 261 00:19:18,978 --> 00:19:20,421 A disappearing act. 262 00:19:21,696 --> 00:19:22,790 What do I have to do? 263 00:19:22,998 --> 00:19:30,625 It's simple, I ***** the sky and I close my eyes. When I open them you're gone. 264 00:19:58,382 --> 00:19:59,155 Excuse me. 265 00:19:59,487 --> 00:20:02,244 You wouldn't have a small automotive jack, would you? 266 00:20:02,447 --> 00:20:06,002 I'm afraid not. But I can offer you the hand of friendship. 267 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,291 Sit down. Tell me about yourself. 268 00:20:10,938 --> 00:20:13,433 I'm looking for Helen A. Perhaps you could point me in the right direction. 269 00:20:13,619 --> 00:20:14,877 I can tell you where to find her. 270 00:20:15,069 --> 00:20:17,298 - But when you meet you make sure you're smiling. - Smiling? 271 00:20:17,451 --> 00:20:20,574 She hates miserable people. Haven't you heard about the massacre? 272 00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:21,914 I've heard rumours. 273 00:20:22,056 --> 00:20:25,361 She sent out her spies to find the most depressing township on the planet. 274 00:20:25,585 --> 00:20:28,390 The Happiness Patrol went in and razed the place to the ground. 275 00:20:28,565 --> 00:20:29,765 But why? 276 00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:33,905 Policy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to distress you. 277 00:20:34,078 --> 00:20:36,456 I'm not distressed, I'm angry. Why do the people let her walk all over them? 278 00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:40,429 There are lots of reasons. The Happiness Patrol, the Kandy Man. 279 00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:42,861 The Kandy Man! He's next on my list of people to see. 280 00:20:43,048 --> 00:20:47,114 Then I'd cross him off fast if I were you. He's Helen A's henchman, does all her dirty work. 281 00:20:48,864 --> 00:20:54,605 There are small pockets of resistance, though. Quiet murmurings of rebellion. 282 00:20:54,793 --> 00:20:55,997 - Are you interested? - But of course. 283 00:20:56,155 --> 00:20:58,023 There's a place, a secret place, 284 00:20:58,196 --> 00:21:01,078 where we're planning for the day when Helen A and the Kandy Man will be called to account. 285 00:21:01,702 --> 00:21:03,288 Here, my card. 286 00:21:03,779 --> 00:21:07,272 - Thanks. Silas P. - Other side. 287 00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:10,854 Happiness Patrol undercover. Excellent! Perhaps you could take a message... 288 00:21:15,299 --> 00:21:16,531 - Are you a musician? - Sort of. 289 00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:19,124 - Shall we go? - You better go. 290 00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:33,311 You not can help me Silas. ***** 291 00:21:34,389 --> 00:21:35,847 No! Wait! 292 00:21:40,426 --> 00:21:42,345 - I'm the Doctor. - Earl Sigma. 293 00:21:43,743 --> 00:21:44,986 A sort of musician? 294 00:21:45,222 --> 00:21:47,637 No. Realy a medical student. Fifth year post med psychology. 295 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:48,976 What does the Sigma stands for? 296 00:21:49,170 --> 00:21:51,089 Stands for alien. All visitors are called Sigma. 297 00:21:51,380 --> 00:21:52,790 So you're travelling through the colonies? 298 00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:56,080 Yeah, I'm on vacation, paying my way with music. But I kind of got stuck here. 299 00:21:56,278 --> 00:21:58,664 It's a interesting planet from a psychological standpoint. 300 00:21:58,856 --> 00:22:02,341 - Yes. You better go. - No. This way. There's someone I'd like to meet. 301 00:22:11,384 --> 00:22:12,614 What is this place? 302 00:22:12,818 --> 00:22:14,961 I believe it's where they make sweets. 303 00:22:16,276 --> 00:22:17,601 ***** 304 00:22:34,684 --> 00:22:40,458 They think it's easy. A thousand pounds of praline cracknel indeed! 305 00:22:40,761 --> 00:22:44,340 They don't know about his moods. He's terrible when he's roused. 306 00:22:44,733 --> 00:22:48,259 I tell them but they don't believe me. They're lucky they get any sweets at all. 307 00:22:48,656 --> 00:22:51,807 Enough! Where are my specimens? 308 00:22:51,982 --> 00:22:54,777 If they think it's so easy they should have a go at making sweets themselves. 309 00:22:55,011 --> 00:22:57,665 Most of them wouldn't know popcorn from peppermints. 310 00:22:57,838 --> 00:23:03,170 I said where are my specimens. It's time for an experiment. 311 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,027 I think they just nipped under the table. 312 00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,405 There's no one here. 313 00:23:09,601 --> 00:23:11,470 - But I saw them. - Show me. 314 00:23:17,355 --> 00:23:20,794 Well I'll... I could have sworn they were under here. 315 00:23:21,015 --> 00:23:24,653 I can feel one of my moods coming on. 316 00:23:27,813 --> 00:23:31,113 Welcome to the Kandy Kitchen, gentlemen. 317 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:33,899 I'm sure the pleasure will be ours. 318 00:23:34,087 --> 00:23:40,851 I do hope so, I like my volunteers to die with smiles on their faces. 25290

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.