Original subtitles

Well, that just frosts me.

I've only got one song left to record, and my producer up and quits.

He didn't quit. You fired him.

That's open to interpretation, Connie.

You beat him with your shoe and said, Benny, you're fired. What am I missing?

Oh, potato, potato.

The studio's booked. I have to get this thing to the record company by Friday.

Thursday. Oh, my God, they're animal.

Honey, there's no choice. This has to be in the music stores by the first of the

month. Well, who am I gonna get, huh?

Where's my Rolodex?

Just ask her.

No, no, I couldn't. Do you want me to ask? No, no, no.

Don Watson's a good producer. Did I ever hit him with anything?

Yeah, a libel suit.

The problem is, none of these people know how to handle her. I mean, a good

producer would know the sound she wants, bring in the right musicians and

arrange it all to get the most out of the music.

Oscar, you wrote the song for her. You've been with her for 13 years. Take

shot. No, it hasn't been 13 years.

Let me see. I started therapy 12 and a half years ago. No, you're right.

How about Puff Daddy?

You made him cry.

Oh, yeah.

That was fun.

Who else?

Who else?

Oh,

come on. You're always saying how much you really, really want to produce.

Yes, I know that, but that is hardly the point.

You are such a wimp. I am not a wimp. I'm British.

Oh, just drop the subject, please.

Fine. All right. Up to you. I have it.

And it's brilliant.

Oscar, why don't you do it?

Me? Yes.

Well, I never really thought about it.

Yes, all right.

Marvelous. I'll see you in the studio. I have to go get that shoe fixed.

Well, look at me.

Producer.

Congratulations. Good deal. Wear a cup.

Sweetheart, calm down. Calm down. Now listen, where are you? You're not lost.

Just tell me where you are.

Okay. All right. Make your first right.

There you go. Now, now take a left and then right again immediately.

Okay, now just go straight, honey. Keep going.

Are you sure? Because none of this looks familiar.

Oh, hi.

Hello. Gotta go.

Yo, yo, yo, the divide is in the house.

Constance, Mr. Producer.

What's that guy's name? I never remember his name. Ed. Ed.

Edzie!

Oh,

you poor baby, you have a cold.

One more sneeze and he's history.

of magic. Oh, I am, I am.

Marvelous, that's the spirit. So, let's just get on with it.

I'm in your hands.

Where's the band?

No, no, just up.

Really? Yeah, well, that's what I thought, unless you want to change it.

no, no, no, no.

I'm your clay.

Your Van Gogh just mold me.

Yes, Van Gogh was a painter.

That phony British accent certainly has taken you a long way, hasn't it?

Right. All right.

And... Is it cold in here?

Uh, no.

Well, I have a couple of cast -iron hooters that beg to differ.

Excuse me, could we turn the heat up in here a bit, please? Okay, I'm on it.

Thank you. No problem.

And... Should we order food?

Oh, bet.

No, no, not for me. I'm eating with my family. I just don't want to see

Constance go to a restaurant and have to pretend someone's coming.

Well, I had a late lunch, and Connie's on the Mary Lou Henner cleansing fast.

Oh, yes. Have you seen her? She looks 30. Remember that time she sat behind

the death of a salesman? Yeah. Oh, she smelled like she had just come out of

dryer. Oh, yes, I know. But you know what a nerve she had trying to shush us,

huh? Can you imagine?

She is skinny, very skinny. You know, I could use a little Chinese this fast.

It's making me hungry. Go get the menu book.

All right, let's sail through this. I want to be home in time for dinner.

my girl. Ready?

Play me a little bit, just for a second.

Oh,

that is so absolutely beautiful.

100 % almost perfect.

Pardon? I think we need to pep it up a little. No, no, no, no, no, no. Clean

simple. That's how I wrote it. That's how I hear it in my head.

Oh, okay, then that's how we should do it. Well, thank you.

But just to play devil's advocate...

You don't think it's a little busy?

Oh, Oscar, Oscar, how many times have I told you? You can't settle. Remember

that time I asked you what you wanted for Christmas and you told me a toaster,

so I got you those nice leather pants instead?

I got the worst rash.

Because you don't dream big enough.

Ed, could we hear the... Oscar, who are those guys?

Oh, they're from the reggae band next door. You know how I am about strangers

watching me work. Oh, but...

But they're rather large.

I'm a producer. I'm not a bouncer.

Well, produce some cojones and ask them to answer.

There he goes. Look at him.

You know, I don't know why you had any doubts about me. He's got everything

under control.

Please, please, please, please, please leave. Please, I beg you. You don't know

what she'd like. Relax, man.

You need to calm down.

Here.

Have a brownie.

No, no, no, no, thank you. I'm not hungry.

He's a special recipe man. I'll take that. No, thank you.

Thank you for dropping by. Thank you.

You look a little flushed. Oh, yeah, I do? Yeah, what?

All right, come here, come here, come here. Go sit, sit, sit, sit.

So, I'm in the kitchen, and I'm getting the menu book, right? But it's way up

high, and suddenly, behind me, I hear this voice say, Excuse me, pretty lady.

May I help you? And I turn around.

And it's in sync.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Which one? Which one? The one with the thing. Oh, my God.

Yes, yes.

They are so cute. They're right down the hall recording, and they are sweet as

can be. Whoa.

Whew. I am a little flushed.

Someone's been double dipping from the estrogen bucket.

Oh, darn. You know what? You know what? I forgot to get the menu book.

I'll be back in a little while. Connie!

Shut up.

It's jolly good. Crisis averted. Now, if you could just get back to the music.

I'd love to.

Okay. Here you go, girl. Thank you.

What's that?

We're celebrating the launching of my new album. If I were a shift, you could

break this over my hall.

Yes, there's a thought.

Now, listen.

I think we should just keep our eye on the original.

Exactly. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. You know, I hear I'm very big in

gay community.

That's why we need a dance mix.

You'll be the most popular performer of 1979.

What you're trying to say is it's not fresh.

Exactly. Well, now that we've got this out of our system, we can just go back

the original, right?

You know what's fresh?

You know what's really, really fresh?

I really think we're on the right track now.

Girls, take five.

If we could just focus here for one second. Oh, Oscar, I'm 150 % focused.

Oh, Connie, what happened to you?

What?

Your lipstick's a little smeary, dearie. Oh, yeah?

I promise you won't judge.

Oh, Connie, you know I can't do that. Yeah, well, okay. So I'm talking to

right? They're recording this song called Uh -Huh. So I say, half -joking,

you should call it Uh -Uh. Well, they thought this was, like, the best idea

ever, and then the really cute one comes to give me a little kiss on the cheek,

only I didn't see him coming, and our lips kind of brushed, and then our

foreheads kind of... bang together, but it was really a very nice moment.

Sounds terribly romantic. Oh, it was, and they want me to sit in the studio

inspiration. Keep a good thought.

Too late.

Ed, could we hear that play back again, please?

What's that?

What is that?

Ed! I didn't hear anything.

Ed! Kill the vocal.

Ridiculous thing. Now kill the music. No, I have to go and be a producer.

What is that? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

No, I have to go and be a producer.

Let's go Latin.

Let's go disco.

Let's go to Bellevue.

Oscar, I realize you're a little frazzled, but you have to realize we all

this to work for you.

All right, okay, well, thank you. I appreciate that. I really do. But, you

nobody knows what's going to make a hit, and all we've got to do is trust in

ourselves and the music.

I know. That's why I'm willing to work all night. Just give me five minutes to

get my adrenaline up. Bless you.

You see, this is what made Puff Daddy cry.

Roses, roses, the color of roses.

I want to be on TV striking poses.

Get me to Target before it closes.

I need a lipstick the color of roses. Who put the hope in Hollywood?

Who's got the goods in y 'all's neighborhood?

Who's got the hip tonight to get the party hot tonight?

Ooh, it's like a breakthrough.

A new turn for a new dude.

That is so dope!

Oh!

Oh! Octavette is so dope. So deeply...

Isn't it? Yes, yes. Well, it's certainly from the dope family.

Look who's here.

Oh, wonderful, wonderful.

Hi. Oh, God.

I'm begging you, please, please, don't talk to her. Don't look in her eye.

distract her in any way. The whole world is a shiny object tonight.

Hi. What are you doing here?

Well, we figured we're working so hard tonight, we'd come by and take you out

dinner. Oh, thank you. Mom, why were they... Isn't that Connie in the ladies'

room pulling her face back?

Oh, that's just a little game we girls play called Remember When.

Wow, this is cool.

Hope you don't mind me tagging along.

Oh, not at all, Herbie.

I love when she remembers my name.

We all do, kid.

I think we're ready for playback.

Wait till you hear this. It's a brand new sound for me. I think you're going

love it.

Roses, roses, the color of roses. I want to be a TV striking poses.

Get me to Target before it closes.

I need a lipstick the color of roses.

Oscar, I think we've finally done it.

You know, you're in the right direction, but you should do whole Alma hip -hop.

You've been playing it safe too long.

See? Listen to him.

This is the reason I'm not on MTV.

Okay, first of all, what we need is a... Out, out, you very much.

Out, out, out, out, out, out, out. And you, out.

Okay.

You build me a volcano for my science class. Done. It's got to erupt. Done!

Did you get Herbie's notes? Yes, they were brilliant.

Now listen, I assumed you asked me to be your producer because you trusted me.

Oscar, look at you.

You're all tense.

Who's tense?

Because I went to chiropractor college.

What for?

You have a job.

Please, you have five more people than a circus cannon.

That's good.

We should use it in the act.

Come on, honey, I'll adjust you. All right. Get in there.

Roy, what are you doing?

I'm starving.

Well, honey, what about dinner?

Well, I... I gotta go get a snack.

Get a Twix. We'll split it.

And where are you going? With NSYNC. They finished their song. We're taking a

romantic drive to celebrate. I'll be back in ten minutes. Ten minutes?

They're 18.

Ten minutes.

Yeah, man.

I lost 50 bucks in that thing today.

Great.

Want a brownie?

Thanks. Roy?

Honey?

I've been looking for you for 20 minutes.

Hi. What you up to?

Oh, about 186, but they say your clothes add five pounds.

My mouth is so dry, I need a soda or something.

Roy, why is recording always so scary?

Gee, I just want to sing my song and know that someone's going to hear it.

That's deep.

Hey, I got chips.

Are you listening to even one thing that I'm saying? Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, okay.

You know, I've been thinking.

It's about chips.

What is?

What's the matter with you? No, no, no. Hear me out, okay?

You see, you got these chips, right?

And some of them are plain and some of them got ridges and some of them are

Pringles, but they're always just a little bit greasy, right?

So you just lick your fingers and you keep the faith and you hope that you can

just hang in there and hang on and it's not going to slip away, but then there's

always those little crumbs at the bottom of the bag, right? And then they get

all over your shirt and that's really a bummer, right?

So you either got to change that shirt or live with the chaos.

So there you are, standing in front of God, naked.

And that's what you should be singing about.

for a very, very long time.

Next time we do it, hold it, choir, hold it. I want the choir and the harlots to

alternate verses like the classic battle between good and evil.

Oscar, what do you think?

Oscar?

Crimony, where'd he go?

Oh, my stars.

What happened to you?

They just wanted me to buy them beer.

Oh, Connie.

Oh, yeah. Then they threw my purse out the window and left me at a 7 -Eleven.

will be boy bands.

I gotta go find Oscar.

Oscar, what are you doing? Come on, let's get back to work.

Come on!

I think we've made a terrible mistake.

What are you talking about?

Look, it's very clear to me that I'm in the way over my head here. Oh, don't be

silly. It's not you, it's me.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not you, it's me.

I'm telling you, Oscar, it's definitely me.

Yes. Actually, you're right.

Did you?

Well, excuse me for trying to express my creativity.

Oh, God. This is just impossible.

We're never going to get this right. You know what, Oscar?

You're probably right.

It's a pretty song.

What is it?

It's the one we've been working on all night.

No. Really?

Have you even heard it?

Of course I have.

Oh, really? Well, tell me what it's about, then. You tell me. You wrote it.

did, yes.

I wrote it about you.

Well, then why did you let me put us through all this? What am I supposed to

tell you to shut up and sing?

Yes, you're the producer.

Right, well, then shut up and sing!

Fine! Fine! Fine!

But first, I just want to... Just sing it.

I held you close to me once in a distant dream Far

from the shores of my fear I sailed on

the ocean wave All I imagined Could happen And now

you are here It's so hard to touch What is

out of our hands To know and to trust What the heart

understands Only the ones who believe

Ever see what they dream Ever dream What comes true

Life brings its magic And life brings

its tragedy Everyone suffers some loss

Still we have faith in it Childlike hope

There's a reason that outweighs the cost

Gravity throws

All these rules in our way And sometimes the spirit refuses

to play Only the ones who

believe Ever see what they dream

Let us not miss one kiss.

Oh, add my regret to the tears in the rain. For

that's what the color of rose.

Ever dream what comes true.

Give me more brownies. Only those who can dream. Ever see what they dream.

Ever dream what comes true.

I do