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Honey, you are my shining star.
2
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Don't you go away.
3
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No.
4
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I got it.
5
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Are you sure you don't want... No, I got
it, I got it, I got it.
6
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Look, at that...
7
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in Beverly Hills that don't do such good
work.
8
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I get it.
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Hello?
10
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No, I'm sorry, Russ isn't here right
now. May I take a message?
11
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Bobby from science class?
12
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Uh -huh. And you want to take her to a
concert Saturday night?
13
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Oh, that's fine, Bobby. Be sure to buy
four tickets because her father and I
14
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will be coming with you.
15
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Bye -bye.
16
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A date, huh?
17
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Yeah. When did that happen?
18
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First thing, it's Bobby from science,
and then the next thing you know, it's
19
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from study hall.
20
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,420
We are both rude.
21
00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:12,160
Do you know she was asking me about
colleges the other day? Oh, my God, I
22
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she doesn't apply to Vassar. I told her
I went there.
23
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:20,120
I guess we just got to face the fact
that our little girl is growing up.
24
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Yeah.
25
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You told me you went to Wellesley.
26
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I've got to get my story straight.
27
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I'm doing the Dolly Parton special
tomorrow.
28
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Well, what has that got to do with
anything? I'm resting my voice.
29
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Oh, look.
30
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Meryl Streep built her own shed.
31
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I wish she was my best friend.
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I'm your best friend.
33
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Yeah.
34
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What are all these old costumes?
35
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:06,340
Oh, one for every Halloween of my life.
Yeah, all 30 of them.
36
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:13,560
It wasn't that funny. No, it's not.
37
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,860
Halloween, we met those two guys dressed
as Siamese twins, only it turned out it
38
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wasn't a costume. Ew!
39
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He was a good dancer, though. Mine
wasn't.
40
00:03:23,820 --> 00:03:25,620
Oh, oh, oh, here it is.
41
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,320
Oh, that's cute.
42
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Oh, my mother made this for me when I
was Rose's age.
43
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I'm giving it to her for Halloween.
44
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You think it's too long? No, it looks
all right.
45
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Oscar, why don't you try it on? You're
about her size.
46
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What? Why don't you have Rose try it on?
Shh, I just want to see if I can make
47
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him do it.
48
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Actually, I have to go.
49
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Where? Um, I have a date.
50
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:46,759
Really? Yes.
51
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Huh. What's his name?
52
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Jake. Jake what?
53
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:50,880
Messina. Huh. What's he like?
54
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Italian. Hmm. Where'd you meet him?
Cuckoo Row on Santa Monica. Really? Is
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good? Delicious.
56
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Where'd he go to college? Hair color,
eye color, favorite vocalist? Brown,
57
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,600
brown, brown. You, of course. Oh, he
sounds so nice.
58
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:05,380
What's his name again? Jeff Messina. I
thought you said it was Jake.
59
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:06,580
Damn it!
60
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:10,840
You see, this is exactly why Meryl
Streep will never be your best friend.
61
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,840
Oh, Rose is going to love this.
62
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:17,959
Don't you think she's going to love
this? Oh, I can't wait. We always have
63
00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:18,959
a good time on Halloween.
64
00:04:19,180 --> 00:04:20,420
Oh, oh, look.
65
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A Tootsie Roll.
66
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Hey, hey, you're not going to eat that.
It's got to be 30 years old.
67
00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:28,960
No, I was just looking at it.
68
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,160
Mother,
69
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,300
please, I'm doing my homework. Sorry.
70
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What are you doing?
71
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Just making sure your Halloween costume
fits.
72
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,280
What Halloween costume?
73
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Isn't it cute?
74
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,580
I figured we'd go out at sundown before
all the good candy gets took.
75
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,200
But aren't you doing a special with that
lady?
76
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:52,800
Oh, honey, that's no lady.
77
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,100
That's Dolly Parton.
78
00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:57,300
And why's she always calling me little
Darwin?
79
00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,440
That's just her shtick. She calls me
Pudding Pop.
80
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,300
You have the weirdest friends. Well,
don't worry. We're only taping one
81
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,460
and I'll be home in plenty of time to go
trick -or -treating.
82
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,120
Mother, I'm 13.
83
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:11,960
You're 12 and a half.
84
00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:13,530
Well, I don't trick -or -treat anymore.
85
00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:16,270
Well, what do you mean? We went last
year.
86
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,330
Well, last year I was a kid. Now I'm
not.
87
00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:20,570
Nobody told me.
88
00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:25,390
Anyway, I'll just fluff this thing up a
little bit, okay?
89
00:05:26,270 --> 00:05:27,510
Mother, I'm not wearing it.
90
00:05:28,090 --> 00:05:29,630
Well, okay, fine.
91
00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:31,230
Who do you want to go at?
92
00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:34,210
I want to go as a person who's not
going.
93
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Well, I checked the stores, and they're
all sold out of that one.
94
00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,120
or treating.
95
00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:48,620
Oh, honey, no.
96
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:55,500
Hi,
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honey. Hi.
98
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:04,600
What are you looking for?
99
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:07,400
Nothing. I just thought I saw Dolly's
truck outside.
100
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:09,300
That's the pool man.
101
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,120
You know, they got the same Yosemite Sam
mud flaps.
102
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,560
You know, I don't know what you see in
her.
103
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,520
She's so short and busty.
104
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,840
Yeah, that's never been my type.
105
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,840
So what's that thing?
106
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:28,250
Well, it used to be a bridge between me
and my daughter. Now it's just a rag for
107
00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:29,250
me to dry my tears.
108
00:06:30,610 --> 00:06:33,410
Okay, we got any of that good turkey
sausage from last night?
109
00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:38,050
Just a second. I'm crying into a hula
skirt here. Doesn't that even pique your
110
00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:41,230
curiosity? Yeah, I just figured I needed
some energy first.
111
00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:45,090
I'm losing my little girl.
112
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Why? What happened?
113
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Rose refuses to go trick -or -treating
with me.
114
00:06:50,230 --> 00:06:53,030
Oh, well, what are you going to do? It
was bound to happen sooner or later.
115
00:06:53,850 --> 00:06:58,190
You know, it's that kind of
lackadaisical parenting that leads to
116
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How can you whisper heavy petting at
home and then go talk about your boobs
117
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:04,990
The Tonight Show?
118
00:07:05,630 --> 00:07:08,030
I don't know. That is odd, isn't it?
119
00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:13,030
You are a complicated woman. Yes, I am.
120
00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:15,310
Listen, honey.
121
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:19,040
We agreed we have to start to let Rose
make some of her own decisions. That's
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the only way she's going to grow up.
123
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What's the rush?
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Kids today grow up too fast.
125
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,740
Every time I come home, I see that
little boy across the street sitting in
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00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:28,520
front yard smoking a pipe.
127
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That's a garden gnome.
128
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:33,960
Oh.
129
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:37,040
Well, that explains the bird crap in his
hair.
130
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:42,440
Look, honey, if you're that upset about
it, why don't I just go talk to her?
131
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,080
Where is she? She's in the kitchen.
Okay.
132
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No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. What are
you going to say?
133
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:51,000
Oh, I don't know. I'll listen to her
side of the story. We'll get the lines
134
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,300
communication going, and we'll work it
out together.
135
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,200
Great, great, great. Excellent plan.
136
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Excelsior!
137
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She's your mother. Go.
138
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Fine.
139
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,260
Hey, how you doing, Pudding Pop?
140
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:10,980
Fine, Apple Fritter.
141
00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:13,180
You almost ready?
142
00:08:13,290 --> 00:08:16,090
Well, just about. I'll slap on a little
more war paint and I'll be ready.
143
00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:17,349
Where's your people?
144
00:08:17,350 --> 00:08:18,350
What people?
145
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:21,430
Oh, me and Avon's been doing this
ourselves for years.
146
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:24,670
Oh, I heard that. Little Vaseline on the
teeth, pinch my cheeks, and I'm good to
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00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:25,670
go. All right.
148
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:27,530
See you later. Okay.
149
00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:34,250
Okay, people, I need two lines here. If
you're on makeup, nails, or body paint,
150
00:08:34,370 --> 00:08:37,590
get to the left. Who's on hair? Show of
hands. Very good. Honey, what do you do?
151
00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:40,570
Soft back rub. Tell her she's fabulous.
All right, get in there. Now the rest of
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00:08:40,570 --> 00:08:43,270
you, let's get busy. And remember, no
one looks her in the eyes. Go, go.
153
00:08:45,950 --> 00:08:47,550
You are fabulous.
154
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:49,010
Thank you.
155
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:50,150
It takes a village.
156
00:08:50,670 --> 00:08:53,770
Did you tell Dolly I have to be by six
to go trick -or -treating? Yes, she said
157
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:57,010
no problem. Really? Actually, she said
something about the moonies and over the
158
00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:58,130
holler, but the yes was implied.
159
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,180
Rose and I are going to have fun, aren't
we? We sure are.
160
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:02,640
You're fabulous.
161
00:09:02,860 --> 00:09:03,860
Stay on it.
162
00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:06,260
How come she doesn't want to do stuff
with me anymore?
163
00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:08,700
Honey, she's growing up. Oh, well, I
don't know if I care for that.
164
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,500
Right.
165
00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:12,860
Okay, whenever you're ready, then.
166
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,160
Where'd you get that?
167
00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:19,500
Dolly gave it to me. I think she's one
of the sweetest people I've ever worked
168
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,500
for. Really? Yes.
169
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,520
Well, I have a present for you, too.
170
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:23,559
Oh, really?
171
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:26,180
Mm -hmm. It's something a little more
personal than a watch.
172
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:29,460
Oh, wow.
173
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:30,660
Ten dollars.
174
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:32,800
You're welcome.
175
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:34,660
I thought it was five.
176
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,360
That's fabulous.
177
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,580
Well, who are all these people?
178
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,120
My kinfolk. Beat it.
179
00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:49,680
Oh, Connie, I cannot thank you enough
for making this all happen. You are so
180
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:54,560
sweet. This is for you. Oh, Dolly, thank
you. Well, I don't know what to say.
181
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:57,440
You're welcome.
182
00:10:00,970 --> 00:10:01,970
this show on the road.
183
00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:03,810
Oh, gee, is it time to go already?
184
00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:06,210
I wouldn't know.
185
00:10:07,410 --> 00:10:08,950
I don't have a watch.
186
00:10:10,630 --> 00:10:12,170
You ain't getting one.
187
00:10:17,970 --> 00:10:18,970
All right.
188
00:10:19,130 --> 00:10:20,130
From the top.
189
00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:21,990
Anything you say, love.
190
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:23,470
She's so nice.
191
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:25,510
She's why I believe in God.
192
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,940
swinging those fish sticks like that,
I'm going to have to throw you back.
193
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:38,820
Maybe you ought to calm it down just a
smidge. Dolly, I've been slapping this
194
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,680
tail for 30 years. I know what I'm
doing.
195
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:01,840
Somebody cooking salmon?
196
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,180
That's your wife.
197
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,400
Hey, what happened to you?
198
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,260
Well, I think Dolly tried to cut a few
corners on the scenery.
199
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,580
Very flimsy. This is going to take
longer than I thought.
200
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,100
What are you wearing?
201
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,760
Oh, just a little something I put on for
Halloween.
202
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:20,340
Howdy, Dolly. Well, look at you, ain't
you the handsome cowboy?
203
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,640
Well, thank you, ma 'am.
204
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:23,880
Why, you smell like Christmas.
205
00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:35,060
Look how excited she is.
206
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:38,980
Look, I know I promised you that I'd be
home in time, but we got to go trick -or
207
00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:39,899
-treating around here.
208
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:42,520
We only have one hour before they get
the cameras back up, okay?
209
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:44,960
Here you go, pumpkin.
210
00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:49,080
This one's for you, and it has a timer
on it. Wow, thank you. It's so cool.
211
00:12:49,660 --> 00:12:50,660
Get one for me.
212
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,000
Hey, you two have a big time.
213
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:55,720
Roy, are you going to come with us, or
are you going to wait for us here?
214
00:12:56,160 --> 00:13:00,620
Well, I suppose a feller can hole up
here for a spell, breathe in the night
215
00:13:00,820 --> 00:13:02,060
roll up a cigarette.
216
00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:05,330
the hell's wrong with you?
217
00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:06,830
Huh?
218
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,230
Hey, I've got my fry daddy out in the
van. Anybody want chicken?
219
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:12,750
Oh, that would be lovely.
220
00:13:13,370 --> 00:13:15,430
She never gives me so much as a tomato.
221
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:20,110
Well, I bet she'd certainly never dream
of giving you free tickets to Dollywood.
222
00:13:20,830 --> 00:13:22,570
I love you, Dolly Park.
223
00:13:23,950 --> 00:13:24,950
Come on, cowboy.
224
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:26,610
Y 'all have a good time out here. Bye.
225
00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:28,210
You look great.
226
00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:31,050
Okay, now I'm gonna need a costume. Come
on.
227
00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:01,650
wasn't I in that movie?
228
00:14:01,910 --> 00:14:03,030
Was I in that movie?
229
00:14:04,950 --> 00:14:06,650
Open your coat. Nobody can see the
costume.
230
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:10,890
Who do we have here?
231
00:14:11,290 --> 00:14:13,530
Mae West and a little sailor boy.
232
00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:15,570
Trick or treat.
233
00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:17,410
Yeah.
234
00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:19,350
Reach in.
235
00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:24,930
One piece, sweetie.
236
00:14:25,150 --> 00:14:26,150
She got two.
237
00:14:26,270 --> 00:14:27,630
Just for that, you don't get any.
238
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,200
Doggie?
239
00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:07,970
honey. You're 12 and a half.
240
00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:11,630
Really? I go through all this trouble
just to show you a nice time.
241
00:16:11,910 --> 00:16:14,130
Oh, come on. It's not like we even did
this for me.
242
00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:16,130
What's that supposed to mean?
243
00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:18,390
This whole Halloween thing is just for
you.
244
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:21,510
Yes, of course.
245
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:25,970
No, you don't understand. I'm saying the
whole night has been about you, not me.
246
00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:27,650
Exactly.
247
00:16:28,610 --> 00:16:29,770
Okay, you're not getting this.
248
00:16:29,970 --> 00:16:30,969
I get it.
249
00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:33,910
You didn't want to go out. I made you go
out.
250
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,560
I needed you to be a kid just one more
Halloween. Okay, so I'm done.
251
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:39,300
You can grow up now.
252
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:45,120
So you want to do just one more house?
253
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:24,960
Excuse me.
254
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:28,260
Miss Parton?
255
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,020
Yes? Would you come with us, please?
256
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,040
What's this about?
257
00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:39,220
Well, now, this must be some sort of
misunderstanding.
258
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,640
But I'll be right back. This won't take
long.
259
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,240
What was that about?
260
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,460
I knew she stole those watches.
261
00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:57,970
I get the M &M's.
262
00:17:58,710 --> 00:17:59,710
They're my favorite.
263
00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:01,150
I get the all the joy.
264
00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:04,270
They're my favorite. I get these things,
whatever they're called. I just love
265
00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:05,270
them. Love them.
266
00:18:06,270 --> 00:18:08,970
Okay, that just leaves me with loose
raisins and a bun.
267
00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:12,310
Okay, you take it all.
268
00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:14,430
Hey, it's your last Halloween.
269
00:18:15,190 --> 00:18:16,190
Yeah, I guess.
270
00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:18,050
What?
271
00:18:18,810 --> 00:18:19,810
I don't know.
272
00:18:21,130 --> 00:18:22,290
You mean you had a good time?
273
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:23,870
It was okay.
274
00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:25,850
Just okay?
275
00:18:26,890 --> 00:18:28,930
All right, Mom, it was fun. Are you
happy?
276
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:30,770
I'm Mom again!
277
00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:37,830
It was kind of cool the way you screwed
over Dolly Parton and everything.
278
00:18:38,810 --> 00:18:39,990
You like that, huh?
279
00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:41,850
Who can we get next year?
19816
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