Original subtitles

Miss Cassidy, have you seen the governor?

Yes, he's out back.

I asked him to take out the trash.

Since when is he doing chores?

Oh, it isn't a chore.

It's therapy.

In case you hadn't noticed, the governor is depressed.

And you figure a couple of bags of garbage will cheer him up.

Well, a little physical activity always perks a man up.

I wonder if he's depressed enough to wax my car.

Now that's cute.

Well, I'm back.

I better go dig up some more trash.

You okay?

Oh, fine.

I guess you heard the legislature overrode my veto that... awful

bill. Well, yeah, yeah, that's a tough one to lose. Yeah, I've been losing a

of them lately. I am sick of fishing with the wrong worms.

Pardon me?

That's something my father used to say. Didn't I ever tell you that story?

Oh, yeah, wrong worm story. You told me that. No, wait, wait a minute.

No, this bear's repeating.

Why? Because I feel like it. Sit down.

When I was a kid, I guess I was about 10.

No, maybe 11.

Oh, I guess it was 10.

Say ten and a half.

Anyway, there wasn't a sunfish in Lake Gertrude that could resist a gatling

wriggler. Oh.

John?

Oh, oh. Well, one day I got bored with sunfish, so I decided to try my luck

trout. So you didn't catch any trout, and so your father came along.

May I just finish my story, please? Oh, sure, sure. Sorry.

So? I didn't catch any trout, and my father came along and said... You're

the wrong worm. Yeah.

Of course, I didn't believe him, and I continued fishing that stream all summer

long. I didn't catch a single trout, and I drowned a lot of good worms in the

process.

And you feel the legislature's a trout stream, and you don't have the right

bait. No, Benson, I'm just sick of wasting my worms.

So as of tomorrow, you're the governor.

Well, as a solution, isn't that a little drastic?

No, no, I don't think so. Katie's got a week off from school. I've got to get

away from this job.

So we're going to Arizona for a week, and you're acting governor.

Well, why didn't you just say that? You're going on a vacation.

To Dude Ranch.

Dude Ranch. Oh, wow.

Maybe you're right. Maybe if we could wait in here, clear up your mind, you'd

feel better. Yeah, I feel better already just thinking about it. Well, good.

Don't worry about things here.

Oh, no, you'll be fine. You'll be a good governor.

I wonder where I left my boots.

Well, Cash.

Well, don't look at me. You better save it for Clayton.

Oh, is he depressed?

Oh, well, he will be as soon as he finds out I'm the governor.

what you think. Well, you'd better care what I think and you'd better listen to

me. No, you listen to me. Stop it. I've only been governor a week and you've

been arguing the entire time.

Benson, you can end this dispute by simply exercising the powers of the

You are the governor.

Okay, Clayton, you're fired.

This is a 7980 fiscal report.

I got that. I got that.

I got that. I got that.

Hello. Hi, Benson. It's Katie.

Oh, hey. Are you guys back at the airport already?

No, no. We're not at the airport. We're still in Arizona.

Can you come here?

Why? What's happening?

Dad's in trouble. Look, I can't tell you anymore.

Please come. Maybe he'll listen to you.

Well, Katie, I got a full schedule tomorrow here.

Benson, please. This is serious. I gotta go.

What's the matter?

I don't know. It's Katie. She sounds upset. Something about the governor.

I guess I'll have to go to Arizona tomorrow.

I'm going with you. No, no, no. Why? You don't need to go. What do I do?

Katie may need me. I'm going to go call the airlines.

Is there something I can do? Perhaps I should go, too. No, I think it would be

better if you stayed here and kept an eye on things. Of course.

I'll put out a memo right away informing everyone I'm in charge now.

Clayton just answered the phone over the weekend. There's no need to take over

the government.

Me? Take over the government?

There's no legal way I could take over the government.

No, no way.

If you need me, I'll be in the legal department.

Clayton? Clayton?

Gotcha!

complimentary bug board ride, I won't be able to sit down for a week.

You're just a tender foot.

I wish that was the part that was tender.

Taste it, Benson. You are zitty slicker.

Well, at least I didn't point to the first cactus I saw in Yale Indians.

Well, howdy, strangers.

Welcome to Pecos Bob's Dude Ranch.

Howdy. Are you Pecos Bob?

Nope. Pecos Bob is in Martinique.

I'm Pecos Bernard.

How are you?

Nice to meet you. We're looking for Gene Gadley. Oh, he ought to be back soon.

It's almost time for Square Dancer Size.

Good.

Let's hurry up and check in.

No problem. I got a real nice room for you. Two rooms.

Connecting? Different wings.

Sure thing, partner.

Now, what name will you be using?

Well, under the circumstances, I'd like to use my own name. No, no. Oh, no. You

don't understand.

All the guests at our dude ranch always choose a cowboy name for the duration of

their stay.

So, how's about Lucky?

I was lucky I wouldn't be here.

Wild Bill.

I wasn't planning on having that good a time.

Rusty? Well, I mean, I'd be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I

ever was.

How about calling me Vincent?

Okay, but you're gonna miss all the fun.

Um, I would like a cowboy name.

How about Trigger?

Howdy, Miss Kitty. Kitty, are you all right? Well, I'm glad to see you guys.

Where's your dad?

Tying up Dust Devil.

Is that one of the guests?

No, it's his horse.

He's really been acting weird.

Horses always act weird.

talking about my dad.

Well, in what way is he weird? You'll see. No, no, no, no. I prefer a little

advance warning. What is he doing?

He dresses like a cowboy. He talks like a cowboy. And he spends his whole day

riding with ranch hands.

Well, what's the problem, Katie? This is a dude ranch. He says he doesn't want

to go home. Ever.

Let's get some grub on. I'm so hungry, I could eat the backside of a round

thing.

Benson, can you talk to him? I can't handle a midlife crisis.

I'm still adjusting to high school.

I'll do what I can, Katie.

Well, Benson, Miss Krause, I'll be dog gone.

What brings you out of these parts?

Oh, hi, Governor.

Oh, no, no. Around here, folks all call me Cheyenne. Ain't that right, little

dog? Yep, that's what they call them.

Oh, look at that prairie.

You ever see anything like that in your life?

Oh, no. I think the governor's riding with a loose saddle.

Uh, Katie, why don't you take Miss Cross to her room before somebody ropes and

brands her?

In the meantime, I'll talk to your dad.

Okay, good luck, Benson.

See you later, Dad.

Uh, Cheyenne.

Sure thing, little darling.

Governor.

God's country, Benson.

Come on, let's mosey on over to the couch and have a little power.

Hey, uh, Katie tells me that you're thinking about staying here.

For good.

That little gal sure can't call them square, can she?

Well, it's nice that you had a great vacation, Governor, but it's time to go

home, isn't it?

This is my home, Benson.

Where the deer and the antelope play.

Yeah, but recess is over.

I've thought all this out. I know just what I'm doing.

I want to spend the rest of my time on this earth with straight shooters.

Can we cut the chuckwagon chatter for a moment and deal with the problem at

hand? There's no sense in trying to explain it to you, Bess. It's like

explain the wind.

Well, you don't have to explain it to me, Governor, but you've got to come

The Finance Committee expects to see you Monday at 2 o 'clock, and we're also

going to have a floor fight on that education bill. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It is

late, hombre.

I've made my decision. I'm not going back there.

And don't call me Governor anymore. From now on, that is your title.

Suppose I don't want the job.

You don't have any choice.

It's my resignation.

Oh, give me a home Where the buffalo roam

Where the deer roam

Pecos Bernard?

Oh, that's my name. Don't wear it out.

Have you seen, uh, what's his name, uh, Cheyenne?

Oh, I saw him down by the corral a bit ago. I couldn't swear he's still there.

But he does have to come through here sooner or later, huh? Right?

You seem a little worried about your friend.

Yeah, yeah.

He seems really caught up in his cowboy life.

Have you ever seen this happen before?

You know, I wasn't always a cowboy.

I'm not kidding.

I used to be a slide rule salesman.

Yeah, I wouldn't worry too much about your friend. Maybe he's just going

a phase.

Morning, Pecos. Morning, Cheyenne. Morning, Mr. Governor.

Uh, look, I've been up all night thinking about that. Listen, why don't

along? We can talk on the way there.

On the way where?

Death Canyon.

I'm riding fans today. Come on, we'll saddle up another bra and we can tag

along. No, I don't want to tag along. I want to talk.

Well, then you just plumb out of luck because you're going to have to wait

I get back.

Hasta luego, Mr. Governor.

and dreamer.

How's everything going with Dad?

Oh, fine.

Hunky -dory. Couldn't be better.

You know, I'd like to stick around, but I have to get back to school.

I have a test tomorrow.

Oh, I understand, Katie.

Yeah, Miss Cross is taking me to the airport.

Good, good, good decision.

Benson, is everything going to be all right?

Katie, I think you're old enough to know the truth.

I'll handle it.

Benson. So long, Kitty. Bye.

You know, Benson, I'm depending on you.

Everyone's depending on you. The whole state is depending on you.

I thought I came just right off into the sunset like them white guys.

Benson, the rumor mills are grinding. I have tried to deny that the governor has

slipped a cog, but no one is buying it.

Well, who started the rumor?

I'm afraid it's something I said at my press conference.

Press conference?

Why'd you have a press conference?

I don't need a lecture from you. If you want to squelch this rumor, you better

be sure that you have the governor back here at 2 o 'clock for the finance

meeting. Don't worry, I'll have him there if I have to hog time.

Good, good.

Now, Clayton, one other thing.

You know what? Get out of my chair and turn out the lights when you leave my

office. I'm not in your office.

I'm... I'm making this call from the limo.

Clayton? All right, all right, I'm going. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Oh, Benson, Benson.

There is still no sign of Cheyenne. I'm getting worried.

It's pitch dark out there, and his horse doesn't have headlights.

What are you talking about? The horse will find his way.

Are you crazy? What are you wearing?

It's a little something I picked up in the gift shop.

I feel just like Annie Oakley.

You look like Annie Oakley.

Yeah? Put it in a feed bag.

All right, everybody, saddle up. We're...

We're creating a posse.

What is it?

It's a group of men who get together and look for somebody.

Krauss, I know where the posse is.

I just want to find out what the problem is. Dust devil's back, and Cheyenne

ain't on him. All right, that settles it. I'll need a horse.

What about me?

Good. Saddle her up.

Dust Devil is right out back, but... Good.

I'll take him.

Did you see the way the woman jumped on that horse?

Yep. Too bad she's facing the wrong way.

Yep. Look, I'm still gonna need a horse. A somewhat more amiable critter than

Dust Devil.

I think I have just the animal for you.

Henry.

Henry?

I like the sound of that.

Come on.

We gotta wake him up.

There's a star in the sky. A cowboy can find his way back from camp.

Of course, it's a little cloudy tonight.

So how you doing, Henry?

Will you stop it? I didn't ride out here in the middle of the night on the only

animal more cantankerous than Kraus to watch you play cowboy.

Oh, speaking of Kraus, I saw her gallop past here about 20 minutes ago. She sure

had a tight grip on that horse's tail.

Governor, this has gone too far.

You got to stop playing cowboy.

I'm not playing, Benson.

It's what I was.

Come on, help me with this fire.

Look, Governor.

Don't call me that.

Well, I'm certainly not going to call you Cheyenne.

So call me Gene.

What? Gene?

It's my name.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you got me so rattled, I was thinking Gene Autry.

Can we talk, Gene?

Shoot. I'd love to, but we'd better talk first.

You know, it's all right to love this cowboy stuff, but it's not right to try

and live it. It's my own life, Benson.

And frankly, I don't need your input.

You're going to get my input, because this decision of yours affects a lot of

people, including me.

Benson, just between you and me and Henry here, I am tired of worrying about

other people.

It's time for my dreams.

Well, that doesn't sound like the man I know.

A man who went into politics to change things? And found out he couldn't and

can't. Nothing changes.

One man or another.

It doesn't make any difference.

That was made very clear to me.

Out here a man can do things, he can accomplish something.

Hell, you can't even get that fire started.

Oh, yeah?

Okay, I'll give you that.

But you didn't do it like a cowboy.

Sure I did.

The Marlboro Man.

No, you were facing reality.

Why rub two sticks together when you can buy a 49 -cent lighter?

That's the reality you live in.

All right, you want to talk about reality.

Reality is a guy with a lot more years behind him than he has in front of him.

I woke up one morning.

I found out I was not the man I wanted to be.

Not the kind of man I admired when I was a boy.

Yeah, but Gene, if every boy fulfilled his childhood fantasy, every man in this

country would be a fireman, a policeman, or a Michael Jackson lookalike.

You don't understand, Benson.

I want to be... a hero.

You think that hat makes you a hero?

What's the matter? You don't like my hat?

No, no, the hat's fine. It's what's going on underneath it that worries me.

do you think a hero is anyway? He's somebody that everybody looks up to.

why do we look up to him? Because of the way he dresses? No!

Because of his job? Oh, no, of course not. Because of his character, his

integrity, his willingness to sacrifice himself for the good of other people.

And who do you think you've just described?

Gary Cooper, no doubt about it.

You've described Gene Gatling.

Oh, no. Yeah.

How do you figure that?

Because Gene Gatling has all those qualities.

Why do you think he's so popular with the people of the state?

Oh, Benson, I don't even think we're talking about the same thing.

Look, do you trust me?

You know I do. Then believe me.

In spite of everything you're thinking, you were a hero to a hell of a lot of

people.

What do you mean, were?

A hero doesn't run from a fight.

I'm not running.

I'm... You want to be a hero?

Do your job.

Isn't it beautiful out here? Did you ever see a sky like that?

No.

Look at those stars.

Do you ever think they...

Kit Carson and Wild Bill Hickok, Wyatt Earp.

They all looked at those same stars.

I wonder what they were thinking about when they looked at them.

Probably the same thing we're thinking.

Yeah. Why am I here? What's it all about?

Will the Redskins win this year?