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Where's Benson?
Will he really throw his hat in the ring?
You know, I've never actually seen Benson wear a hat.
Please, Governor, what's going on? All right, now, calm down, everybody. I'll
tell you exactly what happened. The first thing that happened was Benson got
the limo. In the back, with me. And then we discussed Senator Chapman's meeting.
We made jokes about Senator Chapman's toupee. Benson calls it his rug.
Excuse me.
Sir, do you think we could just cut to the heart of the matter? Is Benton
running for lieutenant governor or is he not?
What's all this? I want a straight answer and I want it now. Are you
lieutenant governor or not?
Didn't you tell him?
I wish people would quit picking on me.
Okay, let's make it official. As you know, Lieutenant Governor Decker has
impeached and removed from office.
That's going to create a vacancy.
And I intend to fill that vacancy.
I still don't know if he's running.
I'm running. I'm running.
I've got the champagne. I've got the glasses. I've got some bean dip in my
I hope it's in the can.
Do you want it or not?
Not.
Now, make no mistake.
this race is going to be no picnic. And your political opponent, Senator Tyler,
knows every dirty trick in the book. Well, tomorrow morning, I'm going to go
down to the Secretary of State's office and file the papers.
Here's to our new lieutenant governor.
Here!
Now, I'd like to put in my two cents worth.
My first campaign contribution.
Now, all joking aside, Benson, deep in my political gut, I have a notion that
you can win this election.
You bet he can.
And to help you attain that goal, I hereby pledge myself as your campaign
manager. Yay!
Clayton, don't get yourself all heated up. And that, Benson, I am not going to
take no for an answer.
Clayton, you are penurious, parsimonious, mean -spirited, money
venal. What exactly are you trying to say, Benson?
You're just the man for the job.
about me?
You're a good man, too, but he asked for it.
No, I mean I want to help, too, but I have to be in charge of something, not
just a grunt.
Fine, fine. You can be in charge of scheduling.
Peter, you can handle the press chores.
Denise, you can manage the campaign headquarters.
What'll I do?
You've already got a job. I do? You're the governor.
Oh, right.
Can't you stand around here? We've got a campaign to get rolling. Yeah, we'll
get out that press release. Yeah, let's get clacking. I'm going to call little
Petey, tell him the good news.
Then, sir, we're going to make a great team.
Gee, I hope I'm doing the right thing.
You make a fine lieutenant governor.
Well, I'm not worried about that.
What is it, then?
It's having both Krause and Clayton on my side.
thee, so listen up. Colonel Krause is in charge of scheduling.
And it does not allow time for small talk.
From what I've seen, it doesn't allow time for sleeping either.
You can sleep after you are in office.
Well, there's a campaign slogan.
Today we move into your campaign headquarters.
You will meet me in the parking lot in 48 seconds.
Somebody's got to tell that woman that running for office is just an
You know, this reminds me of the first time I ran for office.
Oh, gee, I only got 30 seconds.
Well, this is a pretty funny story. It's about the guy that talked me into
politics as a profession.
Mm -hmm.
Good old FDR.
FDR? Yeah. What happened?
Well, no, you better go ahead. You don't want to keep Miss Krause waiting.
Yes, I do.
Yeah, Roosevelt's always been one of my favorites. Roosevelt?
Yeah, FDR, the guy that started you in politics.
My fat FDR!
This FDR was a druggist in my hometown.
I used to work at the FDR drugstore every day after school. And it turned
there was an opening at senior class president.
Saved by the bell.
Yes, yes.
Uh, well... As I said before, Governor, I guess this is it.
See you around.
Somewhere.
Menton, you are not hearing me. Yes, I am, Clayton. I'm hearing you, and I have
the headache to prove it.
Am I your trusted political advisor or what?
Worth Lakewood has a reputation as a political wheeler -dealer. Right.
So? I don't want that kind of individual connected with this campaign. I'm not
meeting with Worth Lakewood. Worth Lakewood influences a lot of big
contributors. One word from him could put this campaign in the black.
Yeah, but where will it put the black in the campaign?
I'll give up.
Say, Benson, did you see the polls this morning?
No. Good.
Benson, you've got a radio interview at 6 .15 tomorrow morning. I'll pick you up
at 5 .30. We'll miss the traffic.
Yeah, by about three hours.
Listen up.
Tomorrow evening, you speak at a dinner in Walnut Grove for parents without
partners. Can I go without a date?
Initial this and put it on my desk. Schnell.
Oh, listen, Denise.
Send some flyers and posters over to Mrs. Betts' teacher union.
We can't, Benson. The printer called. He said he'll vote for you, but until you
pay him for the last order, he can't send any more posters.
Why haven't we paid him?
If we pay him, we can't pay the campaign workers.
Yeah, but we need those posters. We've got to have publicity.
I keep telling you, Benson, it takes money to run a campaign. Lots of it.
I know that, Clayton, but it is possible to run a campaign without compromising
your principles.
Principles? Meanwhile, what do you expect your campaign workers to do when
find out that you cannot pay them?
They are going to work harder than ever because they believe in Benson.
They don't mind waiting for their paychecks.
Come on.
Even you don't believe that.
I certainly do, and I will prove it. All right, everybody.
Listen up, right now.
Kraus, Kraus, I don't think that this is the time to... Don't worry about it,
Benson. Just leave this to me. I can handle it.
Quiet, everyone, right now.
Kraus.
Benson has something to say.
Thank you, Gretchen.
Ladies and gentlemen, first of all, let me say that I am very pleased with the
way the campaign is going. You are all doing a wonderful job.
Now, we knew that this was going to be an uphill fight, but so far we've
to keep our heads above water.
And we are going to come out on top and win this election.
For as long as we believe in what we're doing and we stick together, victory
will not only be ours, but it will also belong to the people of this state.
Now, did you say we weren't going to get paid? Well, actually, I was just
getting to that.
To be sure, you know, we're always a little low on money, so we won't be able
pay any of you this week.
Well, what about next week?
Well, actually, I was just getting to that.
We won't be able to pay any of you for quite a while, but as long as we stick
together... What, is it lunchtime or something?
Better this way, Benson. Now you know who you can depend on. I'd rather have
found out after the election.
Got no money, got no campaign workers, got to the bottom of the polls, but as
long as you got your principles, you got it made.
Now, wait a minute, Clayton. Just because nobody in this state knows who
is and they hardly have enough money to keep things going and his chances of
getting elected are practically zero doesn't mean you have to be such a
gus.
Krauss, that's just the kind of speech that makes me glad you're not my
speechwriter.
Hey, don't pick on me. I'm on your side, but I'd give you the shirt off my back.
Please, I'm depressed enough already.
Hi, guys. Look, I got the kids in my art class to do a poster for Benson. Oh,
that's splendid. Sid Liebling, would you hand me those mailing lists, please?
Sure. Are you finished with the carbon paper, Pete?
Yeah. Be careful, it's our last one.
You know, I gotta hand it to us.
Even though we ain't got much money, we're still getting the job done.
Oh, Pete, Vincent.
I gotta get approval on this, sir, personally.
Oh, yeah? Well, I'll read it as soon as I catch my breath. Give it to me, I'll
proof it.
Uh, Vincent, I... I had a telegram from the Bay City Ranchers Association. I
know. 2 .15, luncheon, 20 -minute speech. I know the scheduling.
Not so fast, Mr. Schmart, Alec.
They canceled.
Canceled? Why?
Well, we have a little problem here.
Wait a second. I was the first problem.
Well, that's something we all agree on.
Hey, look, everyone. Ben's is on 6 o 'clock news. Oh, turn it up. Okay.
Dubois' lackluster fit for the... The office of lieutenant governor appears to
be grinding to a screeching halt. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
Meanwhile, in the northern part of the state, the well -oiled Tyler political
machine chalked up another impressive showing. At the Bay City Ranchers
Association, Tyler had this to say.
Well, it's been my experience that it takes two runners to make it a race.
Unfortunately, my opponent seems to be stuck in the starting block.
Or maybe he hasn't found his way out of the locker room.
That guy gives me gooseberries.
Hi, everybody.
I tried to call you, but the phone company said you'd been disconnected.
Disconnected? Didn't we pay the bill? Well, sort of. Well, we paid it, but the
check bounced.
We're broke.
Flat, busted belly up.
Well, what about the money I bought? Gone.
That includes 900? Gone.
We even spent the money in a coffee kitty.
Hey.
You know, you don't need money for everything.
I mean, look at these posters.
I got them for free.
Vote for Benson. He's a neat guy.
Benson, a radical dude.
Well, thank the kids, Katie.
That's very nice.
Okay.
Governor, speak to you in a minute. Sure, Benson.
Do you know this guy, Worth Lakewood?
Only by reputation.
You think I'm being bullheaded by not meeting with him?
Well, Benson, we both know that politics is a matter of give and take, and
stubborn people don't get very far.
So you do think I'm being bullheaded?
Well, it wouldn't hurt to hear him out. You don't have to commit to anything.
Yeah, well, I guess it wouldn't hurt.
Clayton? Mm -hmm?
I guess I'll meet with this Lakewood guy.
You know, call him and send him. Can I get right on it?
Oh, wait.
Remember. And I mean this.
No deal.
Benson, Benson, Benson.
Let me handle this.
I'll just make a few calls.
From somewhere else.
Listen, everybody.
There's no reason to be concerned about these minor setbacks.
Benson's absolutely right. I've seen this happen with many a campaign.
Of course, all those people lost.
What I'm trying to say is if we all work hard, we're bound to see the light at
the end of the tunnel.
In the meantime, I guess we'll have to depend on the light at the end of the
street.
And last spring, my Queen Elizabeth Rhododendron blossomed two weeks early.
I can't tell you what a surprise that was.
Yes, yes, yes, I can imagine.
Oh, Duncan.
Oh, am I interrupting?
Oh, no, Governor, no, no. You know Miss Hotchkiss.
Oh, how do you do?
Miss Hotchkiss, why don't you tell the Governor about your poor begonias? Yes,
you'll get a tear out of this.
Are you familiar with the begonia family?
Well, now, you know, the name Ruby Begonia does ring a bell.
Clayton, when is this Mr. Lakewood going to get here? I'm starting to get cramps
in my mandibles.
Listen to me, Benson.
Worth Lakewood is a very important man who might make a very big contribution,
but only if you remain on your very best behavior.
Well, if I'm very nice to Mr. Lakewood, will he take us to Dairy Queen?
Oh, he's here. Now, straighten up. Let me fix your tie.
Get away from me.
Mr.
Lakewood, so good to see you. Allow me to present Benson Dubois.
How do you do?
Well, it's a pleasure to meet you at last, Mr. Dubois. I've been following
campaign. Oh, so you're the one.
I was telling Clayton just last Sunday at the club.
Dubois has the charisma, the leadership qualities, and the gut to really go
places in politics.
And I'm not just talking lieutenant governor either.
Exactly what he said.
Precise words.
Well, I certainly appreciate your confidence.
But I'm taking this one campaign at a time.
Well, as far as this one's concerned, I think you can still pull it out.
We see a bright future for you. You're the best man for my money.
How much of your money did you have in mind?
Just a joke. Just a little ha -ha.
Well,
excuse me.
He's nothing like his father.
He certainly isn't. Oh, well. Now let's talk turkey, Mr. Dubois.
Now, I know that running a campaign can be an expensive undertaking.
Well, you'll get no argument from me.
But I happen to be in a position where I can raise a sizable amount of money for
you. Say, to the tune of $75 ,000.
How does that sound?
Very musical.
It does have a nice ring to it. Yes, it certainly does.
But just for my own peace of mind, just why are you interested in giving me this
money? Oh, now, wait a minute, Mr. Dubois. I'm not giving you the money.
I'm... investing it in your candidacy. Well, what I'm trying to say is I
certainly will accept your offer if you're offering it because you believe
and the things I represent.
I'm certain we share some ideas about government.
Well, I'm not.
I'd like to know specifically what you expect from me. Now, you don't need me
spell it out for you. I mean, you're an intelligent man.
Take the money. Don't ask so many questions.
Oh, well, when you say don't ask many questions, that makes me nervous.
Now, you must understand, if you don't, you're very naive.
Oh, I understand that one must make compromises, but I just want to make
it's a compromise that I can live with.
All right, let's just cut right through it.
Here's how it works.
If you get elected, you can accomplish some of those things you believe in.
If I help you get elected, you can help me accomplish some things.
But without my $75 ,000, you can't even get elected.
So what you're saying is if I take your money, somewhere down the line, I owe
you. You can put it that way if you like.
Well, it's a debt I don't want to pay.
Oh, now, come on. You must know the score. If you don't owe me, you'll owe
somebody else.
It's been very nice talking to you. Now, look, you.
How many chances is a guy like you going to get?
I beg your pardon?
You're an unknown, under -financed black candidate. You don't have many options.
I've got this option.
You can take your money, your politics, and your big -shot attitude and stuff
them in a trash bag because you're talking garbage.
Oh, don't give me that.
That holier -than -thou attitude.
You can't win this election without people like me, buddy.
Well, let me tell you something, buddy. Until you start putting the emphasis on
caring and forget about winning, you're nothing but a boy on the backside of
democracy. Good day!
And after
Mr.
Dubois' public tirade, he left the Promenade Hotel without comment to the
This ill -timed burst of temper may prove to be the final blow to a
who's had his back against the ropes from the start.
Boy, did you see that?
He really lost his cool.
I don't think I've ever seen him look so angry.
You'd think he's a terrible person if you didn't know him.
Yeah, and the voters don't know him.
Well, I don't care. I'm still proud to call him my friend.
Too bad we can't call him our next lieutenant governor.
How you doing, buddy?
Well, not too good, according to the late edition.
They say I'm finished.
Oh, don't worry about tomorrow. They'll wrap fish in that paper.
You look at that picture. Makes me look like a raving lunatic.
I'm not even sure I'd vote for this guy.
I'm still gonna vote for you. Ditto.
You're the best man for the job. Yeah, who needs that jerk's money?
Have a delivery for Benson Dubois?
Here you are. Saw your picture in the paper.
Sign here.
Thanks.
You know, you don't look nearly as crazy in person.
Thank you.
A towel? A towel?
A note.
What does it say?
In case you don't have... one to throw in.
Tyler. That jerk.
That's it. I'm gonna go kick his tail. Pete, Pete.
Well, it's been a long day. Why don't you guys go on home? I'll lock up.
Listen, if you want some company, I'll be happy to stay. Yeah, me too.
No, that's all right. I'll stay. I'd really rather be alone.
Well, chin up, you bozo.
It'll be okay.
Hang in there, friend.
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