Original subtitles

Admit it. Miss Kraut seems strange.

Admit it. I'll shout it from the rooftop.

Ben, can you demand if I use your typewriter, do you? No, go ahead, Katie.

Listen, next time you're in the kitchen, give her a good hard look. Will you do

that for me? I sure will. I've got a few thick days coming.

Where's Denise?

Oh, she went to her doctor's appointment.

What are you doing, honey?

Oh, I'm typing up a bunch of junk I've got to do. What kind of junk?

I'm the co -chairman of our school dance.

Uh, Katie, before Denise left, did she say anything about the revenue subsidy

file? Just a minute, Bunsen. Did you say school dance?

Yeah. You mean boys and girls?

Don't start, Dad.

Well, anyway, did Denise mention... Just a minute, Bunsen.

Are you planning to go to this dance, Catherine?

Dad, I'm the co -chairman.

Well, if I could just have... Just a minute, Bunsen.

That doesn't make you old enough to date.

I'm not dating. You just go there and dance with whoever's there.

You mean boys.

Governor, this is all very interesting, but I believe the revenue subsidy file.

It's on your desk.

Thank you.

Benson, when you were 14, did you dance with girls?

I did a lot more than just... Who can remember?

Hi, Benson. Thanks for letting me use your bathroom.

Sure, young man. Who are you?

Winston Lewis, one of Katie's friends.

Haven't she ever mentioned me?

Winston Lewis.

Let me think.

She talks about you all the time.

Oh, yeah. You're the kid who ate the paste.

He was fourth grade. Everybody ate paste.

Well, when I was in the fourth grade, only the rich kids ate paste.

Well, it was nice to meet you. Same here.

By the way, do you know anybody driving to Springfield on Saturday?

Not offhand. Why?

What do you mean?

Katie said you were going to the opening of the state fair.

Oh, right, right. Is that Saturday?

Yeah. I need to catch a ride. I'll split the gas with you.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

I'll be happy to give you a lift if your folks don't mind.

It's just me and my mom. She won't mind.

Okay, then I'll pick you up Saturday around 11.

11? The fair opens at 9.

Yeah, but it takes a couple of hours to get there. You don't want me to pick you

up at 7, do you? You're right. We should beat the traffic. Pick me up at 6.

Why don't I just pick you up at five and we'll go fishing?

Tell you what, I'll be ready when you get there. Good.

You do know the first is over to midnight.

And you do know that your ride will be leaving at eight.

Okay, see you. All right.

Please, honey, you're not listening.

Now, this would save us a lot of money.

I don't care. It's a dumb idea.

Vincent, would you explain to Denise the benefits of owning a motorcycle?

You want me to explain to a pregnant woman the benefits of owning a

Well, it's not for her. It's for me. We're going to still have her car. We're

going to still have your car because we're not getting a motorcycle.

Vincent, tell her what it's like roaring down the highway with the wind in your

hair and bugs in your teeth.

Oh, no motorcycle.

Great. Bugs in your teeth.

Couldn't you have said something good?

Well, I could have told her that your head's so hard you won't need a helmet.

Thanks a lot, pal.

Benson!

Are you alone?

Oh, good grief. I let a frying pan into the nut bowl.

What do you want? Benson, Benson.

I think someone is trying to kill me.

What? It's my dream.

It's my dream, too, but it's not likely to happen.

No, no, no. You don't understand.

It's Clayton. It's Clayton.

For the last three nights, I have dreamt that he's going to kill me.

Why would Clayton want to kill you?

When a man breaks into your room with a chainsaw, you don't have time for polite

conversation.

Oh, that's ridiculous, Krauss.

Clayton isn't going to try to kill you with a chainsaw. The man can barely

handle a nail clipper.

Ah, Miss Cross, there you are. Do you have the keys to the tool shed?

The tool shed.

The tool shed.

What is wrong with that woman?

If I knew, I'd win a Nobel Prize.

I'm building some shelves in my apartment this weekend. I wanted to

tools. The gardener has a key. Oh, thanks.

Oh, incidentally, if you're not busy on Saturday... I am. Would you like to? No.

Fine.

Hi, Benson.

Oh, hi, Katie.

Winston. Oh, great. My dress came. I've got to go try it on. Don't forget we've

got to buy decorations today. I'll be right back.

See you later, Benson.

All right, sir.

So, how are you doing?

Fine. I really had a great time Saturday, Benson. Thanks a lot.

So did I.

Sorry you got sick on the roller coaster.

I didn't get sick on the roller coaster. I told you that. You looked sick to me

in that noise you made.

What noise?

You know, when we went over the top of the hill, you went, whoa.

Can we talk about something else?

Sure. I'd like to take you out to dinner to pay you back.

Oh, you don't have to do that. I want to. I really do.

Okay. When?

Tonight. Tonight it is. What are you up for, burgers or pizza?

How about a real home -cooked meal? Where would we get that?

At home.

All right, talk to Mom.

She said you could come over for dinner.

Okay.

What time?

About 6 .30.

That's good. All right.

Clayton going into the tool shed.

Well, so what, Krause? He's just going to put some shelves up in his closet.

yeah, sure. That's what the guy in Psycho said. I'm just going to put some

shelves up in the shower.

Why don't you put some shelves up in that empty space you call your head?

Better get washed up, honey. Mr. Dubois will be here pretty soon.

What are we having for dinner?

Tuna casserole. Tuna casserole?

Mom, where's your imagination?

It's in the casserole along with everything else in the kitchen. Now,

get moving.

I got it.

Good evening.

How are you doing, Winston?

Hi, Vincent.

I mean, Mr. Dubois. Want a martini?

Not in the hallway.

Oh, yeah, come on in.

Hello, Benson.

It's nice to see you again.

Nice to see you, Carol.

That's a great jacket, Benson.

You mean Mr. Dubois? Don't you think that's a great jacket, Mom?

Oh, I think it's a very nice jacket, Winston. Well, thank you very much. I

everybody likes ice cream.

Mom made this dress, you know. Oh, that's a wonderful dress.

The ice cream's running.

Oh, I'll take it and put it in the freezer.

Here, I'll put it away.

Well, I can get acquainted from here. It's more comfortable over here.

Okay.

I'll be back, but not too quickly.

Boy, he's really excited tonight.

It's because you're here.

Winston, it's too dark, huh?

Unless we're going to develop pictures.

lights back on.

Can I get you something to drink? Beer will be fine. Great. I better go take

care of dinner.

Honey, try to behave yourself.

Do you like music?

Yeah. Mom loves music.

And can she dance? She loves to dance.

Should I be making a list?

No.

You know, she'd probably have a great time.

school dance well why don't you get her to be a chaperone chaperones going

couples are you trying to get me to take your

mom to your school dance come on you

two salads on mom business just had a great idea he wants to take you to my

school dance i didn't exactly say that

Winston, now, if you're not going to behave yourself, you're going to have

dinner in your room, okay?

I'm sorry, Benson.

Well, that's all right, Carol. It isn't every day that I get invited to a junior

high school dance. But I wouldn't dream of taking up your time.

I'll demand volunteers.

Winston, it's not another word.

Carol, I'd be delighted to take you to the dance.

Benson, you don't have to do that. Well, it's not because I have to. It'll be a

lot of fun.

Besides, if you're there, he'll be happy.

And you know you love to see me happy.

Thank you, Benson. I'd love to.

And, Winston, you and I are going to have a little chat later on.

Excuse me, Benson. I'm going to get dinner. Sit down.

Well,

Benson, what do you think?

I think when you and your mom have that chat, you better put a book in your

pants.

I'm not taking it back. You are.

What is going on?

We were looking at my motorcycle.

He's taking it back. I'm not taking it back. Why should I take it back? Because

the way you drive, you'll splatter yourself all over the highway.

She has a point, Pete.

I see.

You think I'm incompetent. You think I'm a wimp, a jerk.

No, I don't think that.

Yeah? Well, think again.

He has a point, Denise.

I had to go and marry a daredevil.

Oh, by the way, you have a visitor.

So do you.

Oh, hi, Benson.

Hi, Winston.

I just wanted to check and make sure you were still coming to the dance tonight.

Oh, sure, I'm coming.

Good, I washed your car.

You washed my car?

And this is for you to give to my mom.

Oh, how thoughtful of me.

Winston, I think Katie wants to see you before you go. Thanks, Miss Krause. She

had to dance, Benson. Okay, Winston.

Benson, Benson.

I dreamt about Clayton again.

Krause, I don't want to hear about it. Now I am positive the man is plotting to

kill me.

Please don't tease me this way.

Fine.

Ignore it.

I am prepared to defend myself.

Just returning these scissors.

Do you know what this is all about?

Yes.

Miss Grouse.

Who is it?

Governor Gatling.

Miss Grouse.

don't like to pry, but you've been very jumpy lately.

Well, I'm afraid to fall asleep.

Why?

I dream.

Everybody dreams.

Yeah, well, my dreams come true.

You don't believe that.

Oh, yeah?

I dreamt that they would make Hawaii a state.

You do?

And I dreamt that a man would walk on the moon.

I see.

Well, actually, in my dream, it was a monkey that walked, but it's the same

principle.

Well, I hope you're wrong about dreams coming true, because last night I dreamt

that Katie ran off with a boy who looked like Jack Palance.

Well, it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on her.

But now you will excuse me.

I'm going to go to my room and nail my window shut.

I should have sent Katie to an all -girls school.

Oh, hi, Vincent. Listen, I gotta run over to the dance. I'll see you later.

Why are you going so early?

Well, I want to see if there are any dark corners on the dance floor.

Dark corners, huh?

Well, yeah, I better get a move on.

I gotta change. Oh, shoot, I left Winston's corsage in my desk.

Winston's wearing a corsage to the back?

No, no, no, no, no. He bought it for me.

You're wearing a corsage to the back?

Don't you have some dark corners you want to check on?

I'll see you later.

Oh, uh, Benson, have you seen Miss Krause? No, I've been spared.

Miss Krause.

Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Wait a minute here.

What are you yelling help about?

You have me pinned to the table.

Why are you yelling help? Because you are trying to kill me.

Why would I try to kill you? Because you don't like me.

Well... You don't like me either, but you're not trying to kill me. Are you?

You mean you're really not going to hack me up with a chainsaw?

Of course not.

Oh, brother. Is this going to be hard to explain?

Well, I see you two made up.

Look at that couple over there.

That's Winston's math teacher and our husband.

Oh, I wish I'd known that earlier. I just told him to stop nicking in the

hallway.

Hey, you know you don't want to spend all your time here.

The wrestling room's open.

What a shame I didn't bring my trunks.

I think there's a blow phone coming up in case you two want to dance.

Thank you.

Have you seen Katie?

No, not in the last few minutes.

Did you know that the wrestling room is open?

Thanks, but we're waiting for a slow dance.

I can't find Katie anywhere.

What are you doing now?

Counting the boys.

Hi, Dad.

What are you doing?

Keeping time to the music.

I think that boy over there is trying to get your attention.

Yeah, he wants me to dance with him. Ignore him, Katie.

Why? He's sort of cute.

Cute boys are not for you.

You mean no boys are for me.

It's just a dance.

Oh, I don't know. What do you think, Ransom?

Looks like a dance to me.

Well, I guess you're right. Why don't you go ahead and dance?

Thanks.

I can't look.

What's she doing now, Bunsen? Carol, would you like to dance?

Love it.

Tell you one thing.

Junior high school dances haven't changed much since we were kids.

Yeah, well, it's changed a little bit.

Oh.

Those chaperones are a lot younger than I remember.

Mrs. Lewis, I do believe you're flirting with me.

No, there's something in my eye.

There,

I think you've got it out.

Let's get out of here before it gets dangerous.

So good to see you again.

Listen, Benson, I've been acting like an old scotch shirt.

I'm just trying to keep Katie a little girl.

My little girl.

I know that she has to grow up, but it's so hard to let go.

Governor, do let go. My arm is asleep.

She'll be all right.

Sure, she'll be fine. She knows what she's doing. She knows a lot more than I

at her age.

I better go lock up the wrestling room.

Hey, congratulations, Miss Lewis Benson. I just heard.

Heard what?

That the two of you are getting married.

The whole school knows.

How did you hear that? I am going to kill him.

Maybe I better go look for Dad.

How could he?

Where is that? No, I see him.

Do you mind if I talk to him first?

No, go ahead.

Benson, I'm very sorry about this.

Oh, how does one be sorry about Carol?

Winston.

Oh, hi, Benson. How's the date going? Isn't Mom great? She certainly is.

Sit down. I want to talk to you.

Have you been telling people that your mother and I are going to get married?

Well, I didn't exactly say that.

What did you exactly say?

Well, I think I said something like, you'll be a great dad.

You and Mom like each other a lot. And who knows?

I know.

Winston, your mother and I are not going to get married.

You mean there's no chance?

Well, there's always some chance. But if I were you, I wouldn't rush out and

rent a tuxedo.

She's a great cook.

Did I tell you that?

Yeah.

Look, I know you want your mother to be happy.

I wasn't just thinking of her. I was thinking of me.

I love Mom.

She can't be a dad.

Come on, he can point to them and say, that's my old man.

Yeah.

It's a shame things don't work out the way we want them to.

My dad and I are going to do so much together.

Yeah.

My dad died when I was young.

Then you ought to know what it's like.

I do know what it's like.

But I guess you got to learn the same things that I learned.

There's no such thing as an instant father.

But you and I can do some of the things that a father and a son would do.

Certainly.

You're going to teach me how to drive a car?

As soon as your feet touch the pedal.

Can you get the governor to open the wrestling room? As soon as you're old

enough to vote.

You're okay, Benson.

You're an okay guy yourself.

There's the sunglasses I'm going to play for you and Mom.

I hate to see it go to waste.

Mom does like to dance.

I have an idea.

I'm way ahead of you, Benson.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go dance with my mom.

Alrighty.