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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:48,120 Hey, Benson, how's the talent search coming for this year's telethon? 2 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:49,120 is fine. 3 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,440 Do you mind being just a little more specific? 4 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,760 How do you expect me to introduce the acts? 5 00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:57,940 You're the master of ceremonies? What happened to Ernie Depew? Oh, he was 6 00:00:57,940 --> 00:01:02,880 that Sunday show on Channel 3, and he was at the zoo, and he tried to kiss 7 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,060 raccoon, and it made a snack of his nose. 8 00:01:06,460 --> 00:01:09,260 So I am filling in for Ernie Depew. 9 00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:12,530 Too bad you didn't fill in at the zoo. The raccoon could have had a feast. 10 00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:21,170 Well, anyway, I have got a surprise for both of you. I booked a big -name act 11 00:01:21,170 --> 00:01:22,170 for our show. 12 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:22,869 Oh, really? 13 00:01:22,870 --> 00:01:25,390 Who? Did you go to the state fair last summer? 14 00:01:25,630 --> 00:01:26,710 You got Kenny Rogers? 15 00:01:27,030 --> 00:01:29,170 No, no, no. I got the animal act. 16 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,050 Walkers, rats, and cats. 17 00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:37,230 That's a great act. 18 00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:39,130 Rats and cats? 19 00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:43,310 They do a rodeo, a little soft shoe. 20 00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:50,570 But the best part is when they recreate the chariot race from Ben -Hur. 21 00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:54,130 Rats and cats. 22 00:01:55,410 --> 00:02:01,870 This is the greatest animal act since Topo Gigio, and I want it in the star 23 00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:02,870 position. 24 00:02:03,550 --> 00:02:04,550 Sir... 25 00:02:06,090 --> 00:02:08,169 How am I going to introduce a bunch of rats? 26 00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:12,910 Well, you could say, and now, here are some close personal friends of mine. 27 00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:24,250 It's terrible. It's just terrible. One minute you're here, and the next minute, 28 00:02:24,390 --> 00:02:25,390 poof. 29 00:02:25,850 --> 00:02:28,510 I'm so sorry, Governor. It's a tragedy. 30 00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:29,910 What's a tragedy? 31 00:02:30,670 --> 00:02:32,910 Walker's cats ate Walker's rats. 32 00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:37,260 Now, that's what I call real dinner theater. 33 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:43,660 Governor, I called the florist, and they're going to send some flowers to 34 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:49,280 Walker. Thank you, Miss Cross. Yeah. They are yellow daisies in the shape of 35 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,520 wedge of cheese. 36 00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:53,020 That's nice. 37 00:02:55,240 --> 00:03:01,120 Sir, I just heard. It's a tragedy, a horrible, horrible thing. 38 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,560 You laughed when I told you. 39 00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:07,670 Nervous tension. 40 00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:12,710 Who's taking their place? Oh, I haven't even thought about that. 41 00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:17,390 Oh, oh, my mother went to school with Beth Parker. 42 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:22,610 Well, maybe he knows somebody. 43 00:03:24,510 --> 00:03:27,890 Look, I have an idea. How about Gladys Knight and the Pips? Sure. 44 00:03:28,090 --> 00:03:29,950 Why don't we just get Frank Sinatra? 45 00:03:31,390 --> 00:03:32,390 All right. 46 00:03:32,450 --> 00:03:34,930 They're in town, and I kind of know them. 47 00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:39,290 I kind of know them. How come you kind of couldn't get tickets? 48 00:03:40,650 --> 00:03:42,230 Well, I don't know them all that well. 49 00:03:42,470 --> 00:03:44,850 Actually, I only know one of them. You know Gladys Knight? 50 00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:46,090 No, that's not the one. 51 00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:50,250 You remember when I was in the hospital with my allergy? 52 00:03:50,590 --> 00:03:54,130 Yeah. Well, Bubba was in the room across the hall. He's one of the Pips. 53 00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:57,370 He'll never remember you. Sure he will. 54 00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:01,650 Look, I'm going to the concert tonight. I'll drop backstage and ask him about 55 00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,650 doing the telethon. 56 00:04:03,350 --> 00:04:04,350 That's exciting. 57 00:04:04,930 --> 00:04:07,130 Gladys Knight, the Pips. on my telephone. 58 00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:08,930 Yeah, I can get their autograph. 59 00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:11,970 I'm going to go upstairs right now and listen to all their albums. 60 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,090 You got their albums? 61 00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:16,410 Yeah. You look surprised. 62 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,050 A little bit. 63 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:22,970 Just because I'm governor doesn't mean that I can't get down. 64 00:04:59,659 --> 00:05:04,280 This song is called simply Save the Overtime for Me. 65 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:31,870 Benson, are you sure it's okay for us to be back here? Sure. 66 00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:34,470 Who's going to throw us out? Hey, get out of here! 67 00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:37,450 Huh? I said get out of here! 68 00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:38,990 Uh, hi. 69 00:05:41,410 --> 00:05:47,790 I'm a personal close friend of Bubba, and we were in the hospital together. 70 00:05:48,110 --> 00:05:50,170 I don't care if you were in Hello Dolly together. 71 00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:55,750 You can't be back here. Hey, hey, keep your hands to yourself, you big palooka. 72 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,360 Excuse me. 73 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,040 What is your name? 74 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:05,220 Leland. Want to make something out of it? No, no, no, no, no. I just wanted to 75 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:09,540 tell you that we didn't come down here really to see Bubba. We came down here 76 00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:10,540 see you. 77 00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:12,020 Huh? 78 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:16,040 Well, actually, Gretchen came down to see me. 79 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:17,300 Huh? 80 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:23,640 She was watching some of your moves during the show, and she said that you 81 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:24,640 quite a hunk. 82 00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:32,380 Excuse us a moment, Leland. Vincent, may I speak with you? 83 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,260 What are you doing? 84 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,340 I'm trying to buy some time. 85 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,840 With my body? 86 00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:44,800 You're right. I may need to throw in some cash. 87 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,320 Forget it. 88 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:50,640 Krauss, it's for the telethon. Just hang it. 89 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:57,040 So, uh, Gretchen, how would you like to see me flex my pecs? 90 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:01,840 Do what? 91 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:05,200 Just humor him. Right, right. 92 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:11,980 So, Leland, what exactly are pecs? 93 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,280 Here, I'll show you. 94 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,100 Oh! 95 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:45,720 Counting every second. 96 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,700 Is this another one of your wacko friends? 97 00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:47,560 I think he broke my toe. Hey, brother, this guy broke William's toe. 98 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:53,280 Oh, what a great audience. I'm telling you, they were something else. They even 99 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,120 applauded when I dropped the microphone. 100 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:58,960 Well, that's because you were so wonderful this night. 101 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:00,440 Thank you. 102 00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:01,580 Who is he? 103 00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:04,120 Well, actually, I'm a friend of both. 104 00:10:05,060 --> 00:10:07,200 Well, was this another one of your wacko friends? 105 00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:10,420 Wacko, yes. 106 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,160 No. 107 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,640 Well, we only met briefly. I'm Budget Dubois, the state Benson director. 108 00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,020 Uh, 109 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:24,780 my name is Benson Dubois. 110 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,440 I'm the state budget director. 111 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:27,980 Benson? Mm -hmm? 112 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,700 You got some great moves for a budget director. 113 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,140 Well, thank you. Thank you very much. 114 00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:35,860 I'm sorry about barging in on your act that way. I hope I didn't ruin anything. 115 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,260 My toll. 116 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,640 Let it die home. 117 00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:45,500 What the heck were you doing out there? 118 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,260 Well, I was trying to escape from Leland. 119 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:55,320 Oh, the guy with the pants. Yeah, I just thought I'd come by and ask you 120 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:56,320 all a little favor. 121 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,080 If you're bucking to be the fourth pimp, forget it. 122 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,380 No, no, I'll never try anything like that again. 123 00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:06,660 Actually, the favor is not for me. It's for the Meyerson Children's Clinic. 124 00:11:07,569 --> 00:11:08,329 Children's clinic. 125 00:11:08,330 --> 00:11:13,390 Yeah. You see, every year they do a telethon to raise money. Money. Yeah. 126 00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:17,330 Because without money, we wouldn't have any sick children. 127 00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:26,190 I mean, we would have sick children, but they wouldn't have a place to be sick 128 00:11:26,190 --> 00:11:27,190 in. 129 00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:29,750 Well, I mean, they'd be sick all over the state. 130 00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:35,190 I'm not explaining this very well, but you want us to be on the show, huh? 131 00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:36,109 you. 132 00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:38,290 Right. When is it? Day after tomorrow. 133 00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:42,370 Oh, I'm sorry. We booked in Mount Brewster day after tomorrow. 134 00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:44,470 Oh, fiddlesticks. 135 00:11:46,150 --> 00:11:47,770 I don't suppose you're lending me one pip. 136 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:52,710 Maybe another time. It was really nice meeting you, Benson. Thank you very 137 00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:55,510 It was a wonderful show. Thank you all. Thank you. Maybe next year. Yeah. 138 00:11:57,270 --> 00:11:58,830 Tough luck, Leadfoot. 139 00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:02,410 Well, keep in touch. 140 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:04,530 Okay. Straight ahead, brother. 141 00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:09,460 Well, it's just great. 142 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:15,740 Pips are on the road, and Ernie Depew is in the hospital, and Walker's rats are 143 00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:16,740 in his cats. 144 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:20,080 Great day. 145 00:12:29,660 --> 00:12:31,960 Shame. Real shame. 146 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:36,620 Well, I'm sorry, Governor. They just weren't available. 147 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,760 You know, I really believed you knew Gladys Knight and the Pips. Me too. 148 00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,380 Why did you fib? 149 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:43,760 I didn't fib. 150 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:49,340 I said I kind of know them, and I do kind of know them. Well, I kind of know 151 00:12:49,340 --> 00:12:52,240 them. Oh, I have all their albums. 152 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,200 But I don't go around bragging that I can get them on the show. 153 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,340 Well, Dad's mad. 154 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,900 How am I going to explain this to the kids at school? 155 00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,140 I told them I could get Gladys Knight's autograph. 156 00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:12,170 Benson, Benson, Benson, I have just written my introduction for Gladys 157 00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:15,750 and the Pips. I'd like to run it by you. That won't be necessary, Clayton. 158 00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:16,870 Benson, may I finish? 159 00:13:17,410 --> 00:13:19,630 Just once. I wish you would let me finish. 160 00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:20,930 All right, here we go. 161 00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:46,830 except the part where you said they are here. 162 00:13:48,090 --> 00:13:50,290 What's wrong with that? They're not going to be here. 163 00:13:50,710 --> 00:13:51,710 What? 164 00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:55,050 Benson kind of exaggerated his friendship with them. 165 00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:56,630 You mean he doesn't know them? 166 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:57,870 Right. 167 00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,610 Benson, Benson, Benson. 168 00:14:01,910 --> 00:14:04,590 Who would have thought you'd think this low? 169 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:09,170 That's the last thing I'll volunteer for. 170 00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:10,570 Hey, Benson! 171 00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:12,830 Get you here. I don't care. 172 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:15,480 Mattis, Nate, and Bubba. 173 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,240 Pete, I don't want to be teased. 174 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:20,680 I'm serious. 175 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:21,700 Look. 176 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:22,880 Look. 177 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,560 Landis, Bubba, what are you guys doing here? We had to cancel our concert in 178 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,540 Mount Brewster. They just got 15 inches of snow. 179 00:14:33,060 --> 00:14:34,980 Do you still need someone to help out the kids? 180 00:14:35,260 --> 00:14:36,039 What are you saying? 181 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,440 We can do the telethon. 182 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:38,659 You're kidding. 183 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,780 He's kidding. You're not kidding. You're not kidding. 184 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,180 I gotta ask you one small favor in return. 185 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,140 You name it, Mama, you got to get it. You caught me with it. 186 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,080 I'd like for you to sing with me. 187 00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:58,980 You got to be kidding. 188 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,720 Me sing with you? Oh, I couldn't sing with you. 189 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,640 That's what I thought. 190 00:15:08,590 --> 00:15:12,550 It'll be fun. And all the people around here who know you will get a kick out of 191 00:15:12,550 --> 00:15:14,530 it. It'll be great for the telethon. 192 00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:16,890 I'll take that as a yes. 193 00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:20,050 Now, we have an interview to do, so I got to run, okay? 194 00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:21,350 I'll see you later. Okay. 195 00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:26,910 We'll call you later about rehearsal. 196 00:15:44,430 --> 00:15:47,150 that you had a surprise for them. I certainly do. 197 00:15:47,570 --> 00:15:50,710 Gladys Knight and Bubba were just here, and they are going to do the telephone, 198 00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:53,670 and what's more, they want me to sing with them. 199 00:15:54,890 --> 00:15:56,290 Oh, Benson. 200 00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:07,250 So let's keep those phones ringing, and we'll be right back after these 201 00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:08,250 messages. 202 00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:10,810 Well, sir, how am I doing? 203 00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:13,750 Well, I don't know. You seem so at ease. 204 00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:19,130 Considering... Considering what? 205 00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:23,430 Well, considering all those millions of people watching you on their TVs. 206 00:16:24,590 --> 00:16:30,770 Imagine all of those millions of strange faces staring up at you. 207 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,530 Think of all those eyes. 208 00:16:34,470 --> 00:16:37,270 Kind of creepy, isn't it? 209 00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:39,710 Oh, I think you're right. 210 00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:50,940 look funny to you? He always looks that way. 211 00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:52,860 He looks sick or something. 212 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,660 You should help him. 213 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,220 Oh, yeah, I'll take care of it. 214 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,960 Hey, Clayton, how you doing, old buddy? 215 00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:07,099 This man's something else, isn't he? Huh? He's really come a long way. 216 00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:08,640 He was a very ugly baby. 217 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,920 How ugly was he? 218 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:17,800 He was so ugly, he had to sneak up on his teddy bear. 219 00:17:20,910 --> 00:17:21,910 Get ready to go on. 220 00:17:22,010 --> 00:17:23,230 He had a very friendly sister. 221 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,329 Everybody liked her. I mean everybody. 222 00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:27,730 She was picked up so many times, she grew handles. 223 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:33,630 Got a message here. 224 00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:37,250 Shut up and introduce the next act. 225 00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:40,170 Say goodnight, Clayton. 226 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,160 in the pit. 227 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:33,720 living hurt so much you can't believe it 228 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:39,960 turn around and see my smiling face 229 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:46,880 waiting to lend a hand just when you 230 00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:58,550 I'm staring. 231 00:19:48,959 --> 00:19:55,500 You should know that I'm someone who tears 232 00:19:55,500 --> 00:20:02,100 enough to pull you through my situation. 233 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:10,140 And when you need a shoulder, 234 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,540 I'm standing... 235 00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:49,780 And when you think you've had enough and you're crying from the strain, 236 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:56,940 take a sip from my French soup cup. It'll help to ease the 237 00:20:56,940 --> 00:20:57,940 pain. 17437