Original subtitles

Yes, this is her.

Oh, well, that is good news. Thank you for calling.

All right.

My pants will be back Wednesday.

What could be taking so long?

Well, maybe they broke the zipper.

I am not talking about the pants. I am talking about the appropriations

committee. Could we just drop the pants?

Whatever turns you on.

I just hope they elect Tom Wembley chairman.

Well, I'll be happy with anyone except Tyler.

Benson, you can take my word for it. Tyler does not stand a chance.

Well, I guess you guys heard.

Tyler won.

Where'd you hear that?

It was on the news bulletin just before General Hospital.

That's going to make it tough to get the unemployment extension passed.

You'll make everything tougher. He has opposed me on every issue. Sir, I think

you're just going to have to put all that in the past. Now, my suggestion is

that we throw a little cocktail party, congratulate him, start things off on

right foot.

Yeah, I could get some pictures of the two of you being real buddy -buddy. I'll

invite some columnists. We'll get coverage on it.

I don't know. What do you think, Bunsen? Well, I really don't see any point in

buttering up that bird brain. He's always been a stumbling block.

He's just going to have to work around him.

Bunsen.

Come in.

Hi. I'm from the phone company. We're installing a new switchboard, and I need

to run some lines in here. It'll just take a few minutes.

Oh, come on in.

Take as many minutes as you like.

Governor, I'll put out the standard release on Tyler's election.

We're pleased, et cetera, et cetera.

That's it.

Hmm? That's it. What is it?

You know who that is?

Who, her? Yeah.

It's a telephone repair lady.

No, that is Betty Braxton. We went to high school together.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

About Senator Tyler, how do you want to handle it?

You were on the fence. She was the cheerleader.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

I hugged my pom -poms.

Uh, could we get back to Tyler's cocktail party?

We didn't say anything about giving him a cocktail party. Could you fellows hold

that thought for just a minute?

Excuse me.

Oh, uh, yes.

I'm Gene Gatling. You don't remember me, do you? Oh, sure, you're the governor.

No, no, that's not it.

We went to Crandall High together.

Yeah, I was kind of short. I had braces on my teeth and a crew cut that sort of

leaned over to the left.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. I do remember.

You were secretary of the student council.

Two years running.

And you took your sister to the prom.

Two years running.

Listen, buddy, I hope you're not embarrassed by this, but...

I sure had a big crush on you back then.

Really? Yeah.

This is ridiculous. He should be taking care of business.

Looks to me like he is taking care of business.

Well, I always thought of you as Mike's girl.

Yeah, Mike.

We got married.

Oh, that's too bad.

I mean, congratulations.

But now we're divorced.

Oh, well, congratulations.

That's too bad.

I hate to interrupt this little class reunion, but I do have a very tight

schedule.

I'll be with you when I'm done, Clayton, not before.

I guess that sort of loosened up your schedule, didn't it?

I'm done here anyway.

Maybe we could talk later.

Oh, I'd like that.

Oh, Governor?

Gene. Gene? Yeah.

I just wanted to tell you, you turned out real nice.

So, what about Tyler?

Brunson, I'm in love.

Good grief. Can you give me a break over here? The girl was just in here two

minutes. You couldn't be in love. I didn't even get her phone number. I'll

right back. What about Tyler? I still think the cocktail party is the best

Oh, I think it's a wonderful idea. It's wonderful.

Finally, the man is making some sense. He's beginning to think like me.

Clayton, the man isn't thinking at all.

Come to think of it, there is some similarity.

Where is the governor? Here's the governor just in time. Governor Gatling,

Senator Tyler.

Senator, nice to see you. Nice to see you, too.

Now, I guess we're both liars.

Very amusing.

Hasn't he got a great sense of humor?

No.

Senator, I don't think you've met my friend Betty Braxton. Betty, this is

Senator Leonard Tyler.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Senator Tyler.

I'll bet you say that to all the senators.

Betty, shall I get you a glass of punch? Oh, thank you, Gene.

Anyway, Dubois, I understand you're still pushing for that unemployment

extension. Senator, there are a lot of people out there who need our help. I

assume you've read the most recent unemployment statistics?

You want to know how to cut those figures in half?

Get the housewives out of the job market. Oh, that's a good idea.

Why should families eat three meals a day anyway?

Benson!

Women have the right to work, too.

Betty!

But they don't have to work. That's why they have husbands.

Leonard!

Suppose the woman doesn't have a husband.

Then maybe she should start working on her figure, sweetie.

It was an accident.

Senator, let me in.

This bimbo just threw a drink on me.

Bimbo? Now, here's your punch. Bad timing, Governor.

What happened? What did I miss?

Somebody's going to pay for this.

Senator, Senator, wait, wait for me.

Well, that's our show for tonight, folks.

Thanks for coming. Drive safely.

I don't want to hear any more about what Betty did last night.

Sir, I don't think you can afford to associate with someone who reflects

on this administration.

Then I guess that means you'll have to resign.

Well, we're the headline in Capital Channel today.

Let me see that.

Governor Gatling's newest flame made a splash last night.

Unfortunately, the splash was a drink thrown in Senator Tyler's face. The

senator made a quick exit.

And a large puddle.

Don't laugh.

The guys in the press room are calling this Bettygate.

Warning, Governor.

I've heard enough.

If you're going to find your dates in the yellow pages, next time look under T

for Tack.

This will be filed under G for garbage.

I care about Betty, and nothing is going to come between us. Not you, not the

press, and not this office.

How do you like that, bucko?

I like it, I like it.

Any other opinions, Pete?

Oh, I don't have any opinions, Governor. I'm married.

Well, Branson, do you have anything to say about Betty Gate?

Not at this point in time.

Nothing, just sitting up here reading with my feet propped up.

Yeah.

What?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Come on over.

That's all right. Take your time.

Don't you like Betty?

Sure, I like Betty. What? You just slammed the door in her face.

Oh.

Hi. Hi.

Gene said that since we were in the neighborhood, you'd be insulted if we

drop by.

Oh, well, thank you for sparing my feelings.

Come on in. Thank you.

Can I get something to drink?

Oh, I'd love a diet soda. Oh, okay. Well, come on, sit down. Have a seat.

night, Clay?

Oh, thank you very much.

Can I help?

Listen, I hope this isn't too much of an imposition.

Oh, no, no, no, no. It's no imposition.

I thought you guys were going to the movies.

Well, yeah, we want some privacy.

Oh. I thought you'd come over here.

Listen, it's not what you think.

I'm not thinking anything.

You think that I'm afraid to be seen in public with Betty because of what that

got -up column said, aren't you? No, I thought you came over here for privacy.

That's right. That's all we want is privacy.

Whatever you say.

Okay, here.

Thank you. Sure.

I haven't seen a good movie in ages.

Would you two be upset if I went to the movies?

No.

No.

No.

Good.

Then that's what I'll do.

I'll just go over here and get my coat and jacket out of the closet.

See, I got my keys.

I got my wallet.

Excuse me.

Keys.

You guys have a good time. Of course, I don't need to tell you that.

I should be pulling into the driveway.

Life easy, showing up at 11 o 'clock.

Don't start with me, Krause.

I'm angry, irritable, and in pain.

Last night I stubbed my toe on a petrified gumdrop.

Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds kinky.

No, it's not kinky.

I went to the movies last night and I forgot my shoes.

I bet you just want people to look at your feet.

Where'd you get your brain? A mail order catalog?

So what was the movie about?

Oh, I don't know. It was an Italian.

Something about an old guy with a bicycle who gives an electric train to a

Steal his horn.

Well, I don't remember that part.

When I stubbed my toe, I started hollering and they asked me to leave in

languages.

Hi, Benson.

Gee, I'm so sorry that I'm late.

Don't apologize to him. He just came in himself.

Don't worry about it, Denise.

I'm going to be in my office. I got any appointments?

Not until three.

Good. Then I'll be sleeping.

evict the gypsies.

So is it nice?

Oh, yeah. It's got four rooms and a monkey cage.

Oh, good.

Then Pete can have an office at home.

Tour starts at three o 'clock, buddy.

Oh, how's it going, Dubois?

Oh, Senator Tyler, what brings you to the mansion?

Oh, just trying to get the feel of the place. You never know.

or you just fall right over.

That's funny, Dubois.

Incidentally, we might get your unemployment extension passed.

Gatling invited me to your progressive government club wing -ding tonight.

I think I might just get a public apology.

As a trade -off for the unemployment extension?

Whatever. That's not the kind of thing the governor does.

Well, maybe you don't know the governor as well as you think you do.

See you tonight.

Yeah, come in.

Governor, can I talk to you a minute? Oh, sure, Benton. Thank you so much for

letting us have your apartment last night. I'm sorry about your toe.

Well, that's not what I want to talk about. Oh, is it the dirty glasses we

to clean up and we just forgot?

Well, no, it's about Senator Tyler.

I understand you invited him to the meeting tonight?

Yeah, we want to patch up some political fences.

Did you promise him a public apology?

I didn't promise.

I sort of indicated that during my speech tonight that might be possible.

Well, what do you have to apologize for?

Betty did throw a drink on him.

Two drinks for that matter, but I still don't see what you have to apologize

for. Is he going to apologize to her for the things he said? Betty doesn't

expect an apology. The senator does.

I don't believe I'm hearing all this.

Neither do I.

Betty, I didn't know you were there.

I'm sorry.

You don't have to apologize to me, Gene, and you don't have to apologize for me.

Wait just a minute, Betty. I don't think you understand.

If I felt I owed the senator an apology, I'd have done it myself.

Well, I should be getting back to my office.

Wait a minute.

Benson, you brought this whole thing up. Now you tell her she's got it all

wrong. Well, I'm not telling her anything. That's why she's wearing that

belt.

No, Gene.

You've got it all wrong.

Stay around, Vincent.

Goodbye, Gene.

I know what you're thinking.

I'm not thinking anything.

You think I'm weak, don't you?

What difference does it make what I think? It makes a great deal of

to me. As a friend, I want you to tell me what you think. All right, I think

you've blown it.

You've let Clayton Tyler and some stupid gossip column dictate your feelings

about Betty. I don't think that's right. Oh, is that so? You know what your

problem is, Benson? You don't know when to keep your nose out of other people's

business.

But I do know when to get my tail out of the ringer.

She's out of my life, Benson.

Let's not talk about that, Governor.

I can't even eat.

Every time I open the refrigerator, I see Betty's face.

We'll send out for pizza.

How do you want me to introduce you?

Let's face it, Benson.

I'm a spineless weakling. Ladies and gentlemen, a spineless weakling.

It's time to introduce the Governor.

Are you ready?

Why not?

Okay, ladies and gentlemen.

If I could have your attention for a moment, please. It is now my great

to introduce our keynote speaker for the evening, the governor of the great

states.

Stall. I'll be right back.

Hold it. Where are you going?

I remember the first day I met the governor.

He was just beginning his term.

The legislature was challenging him.

The press was raking him over the coals.

The mood throughout the land, to say the least, was somber. As I entered his

office, it was a... But

enough of this chit -chat about the governor.

Let's get down to some cold, hard, personal details.

He's six foot three.

enjoys fishing, and he's a Sagittarius.

You're boring.

Where's the governor?

The chair recognizes Senator Tyler.

I'm sure you all recognize him. He's the balding boob in the bow tie.

I didn't come here to be insulted. Where do you usually go?

It would be nice to me if you expect my cooperation.

I don't expect your cooperation. Nobody expects your cooperation because you are

an uncooperative little snot who only cares about his own importance.

I assure you, Senator Benson's opinion is entirely his own.

This is more than I can say for you.

You're right, he's a snot.

Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. My pleasure to introduce a man of honor,

Governor Gene Gatlin. Thank you, Doctor.

Now, before I begin, I would like to introduce my... Well, my girlfriend,

I guess.

Betty Braxton.

Senator Tyler, would you join us at the podium?

My pleasure.

Senator Tyler came here this evening expecting a public apology.

I think this is the perfect time for it.

Senator, would you apologize to Betty or should I get her a glass of punch?

You're not getting any apology from me.

Oh, yeah?

Well, as my colleague Benson Dubois would say, what would you say, Benson?

This is the kind of stunt that's going to cost you my support.

Senator...

Your support is about as welcome as a skunk in a space shuttle.