Original subtitles

Come in.

Governor, do you have an aspirin?

Uh, no, I don't think so, Benson. Why don't you try Miss Krause?

No, I've got a headache. I don't need an upset stomach, too.

As your head aches, they kind of go... Governor,

Governor, don't do that.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You seem a little irritable. I certainly am. I just wasted an entire afternoon

with the Public Utilities Committee.

I gave an opening statement covering everything from economic impact on low

-income households to corporate responsibility, and the only thing they

think they asked me was, where'd you get your tie?

the rate hike passed. Of course it passed.

The rich guy gets richer and the little guy gets littler.

I'm fed up.

Come in.

I'm sorry to interrupt, sir, but I have a doctor's appointment.

You're in the wrong office.

How's the arm, Clayton?

Oh, in a couple of weeks I should be back to normal.

Back to normal? You've never even been close to normal.

He's a little irritable.

Public Utilities Commission shot you down, eh, buddy?

No, they didn't shoot me down. In fact, it was a very friendly meeting. They

even asked me, where'd you get your toy?

Well, I'm afraid I've got some more bad news for you, Benson. You know that

health care bill you're so fond of?

Yeah, what about it? Well, the Finance Committee stuck a rider on it, a salary

raise for the legislature.

Oh, those bunch of creeps. It's Chapman, isn't it? Well, I'll veto it.

We can resubmit it next session. Next session is nine months from now,

There are senior citizens waiting for that money today.

Benson, Benson, calm down.

It's just politics.

It's not just politics, Clayton. It's people suffering.

That's what politics is.

Clayton, would you leave me and Benson alone?

Sir, I thought we were going to discuss... All right, sir.

If that's the way you want it, that's just fine.

Benson's in a bad mood.

and I get blamed for it. That's just fine.

What is it?

Well, it's more bad news, Benson. It's about Jessica. Jessica Tate? Did they

find her? No, no. She's still missing.

It's just they're going to petition the court to declare her legally dead.

Isn't that a little drastic?

Well, I'm just a cousin.

The family isn't asking my opinion. They're just informing me.

Well, this really makes my day.

The Public Utilities Commission sticks it to the poor, the legislature sticks

to the elderly, and the Tates are trying to stick Jessica in the family plot.

What in the world is wrong with people?

Well, I'm sorry, Dunson. I know it's depressing trying not to let it get you

down. I'm afraid it's too late for that. It already has gotten me down.

I'm afraid I just don't feel like getting up again.

I'll see you later.

Poor Jessica.

Why poor Jessica?

Oh,

Benson, I've never been poor in my life.

What? Jessica, what are you doing? here. We were just talking about you. Where'd

you come from?

You won't believe where I came from.

First of all, you see, I was kidnapped by revolutionaries and taken to South

America, and then I went to Connecticut, and then I was kidnapped again and

taken to South America.

Then I went to heaven, then I came here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. When you say heaven, do you mean heaven or some

town in Georgia?

Oh, heaven. You know, the real thing. God, angels, the whole ball of wax.

Oh, Benson, you should see heaven.

It's really a lovely place.

Jessica, you haven't changed a bit.

Benson, did Denise go home yet?

Uh, yes, Cross. I'm afraid you missed it. Come on in. Come on in.

Look who's here.

Yeah.

Look at that.

It's your chair.

my chair across, but look who's in the chair.

Is this some kind of joke?

She can't see me.

Only you can see me, Benson.

Is this some kind of joke?

Who are you talking to?

You mean to tell me you don't see anybody in that chair?

Do you?

and I'm tired of playing games.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, Kraus, wait, wait.

What?

Come here, I want to show you something.

What now?

I just want to show you something. Just stand still.

Oh.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Five. It's not such a great trick.

Uh, don't you have something to do in the kitchen?

You just asked me to stay.

Maybe we should talk about this in the morning. Where are you going to spend

this evening?

The same place I always spend it.

I just thought I'd hang around.

Why don't you come to my place?

When will you get it through your head? You don't turn me on.

I can see you, but she can't.

Because those are the rules.

Isn't that neat?

Hell no, it's not neat.

Wait a minute. I'm talking to myself. She's not here.

She's a figment of my imagination.

Well, maybe I should explain.

This is terrific. A figment with an explanation.

See, it's all because of heaven.

Well, I mean, not actually heaven, because I was in a waiting area outside

heaven. You were in heaven's lobby?

But I have seen heaven, and it's stunning.

It looks a lot like the MGM Grand.

I can prove you're not here. If you were here, you'd have a good reason for

being here. Oh, I do have a reason.

Why couldn't I have ulcers like everybody else?

It all started when I filled out this application for heaven. Application?

I suppose there's a written exam, too.

And a credit check.

I need a vacation.

A long vacation.

You see, I applied to be an angel because I look wonderful in chiffon.

They said to me, of course, that I was no angel, and they were right. I mean,

the things I've done.

Not to mention the things I've thought.

First off, you don't have a reason.

Oh, yes, I do. You see, I have to do a good deed on Earth so that I can qualify

for my wings.

Qualify for your wings? I'm listening to this. I'm sick.

Either that or I'm having a conversation with a dead person.

I don't think that I'm dead.

Then you're alive, but invisible.

That doesn't sound right either. There are only two choices.

I think that I am somewhere in between.

Yeah.

I think I'm somewhere in between, too.

In between one oar in the water and no oars in the water.

I'm going to go home and get a good night's sleep, and when I return, this

all be over. Good night, Jessica. It was wonderful seeing you again. Lock up

before you vanish.

Oh, good morning, Ben.

Good morning, Cross.

Look who's here.

Who, who, who?

All the kitchen chairs.

Perhaps you'd like to introduce them to your office chairs.

Yeah, I'm sure they'd like that.

About last night, Krause. No need to explain, Benson. So you talk to your

You're not the first middle -aged man to go cuckoo.

I am not cuckoo.

That's your opinion. In my opinion, you're Dipsy Doodle.

Benson? Oh,

Benson, I've got good news. I vetoed that health care bill this morning. Good

idea. Old sick people don't vote anyway.

Benson! Just a minute, Benson. We're all on the same side.

I am not on your side, Clayton. You've been against this bill from the

beginning. I was trying to be pragmatic. I was playing devil's advocate.

We know. He's had you on retainer for quite some time.

Benson, if you'd just listen, you'd find out that I resubmitted the bill.

In its original form, at my suggestion.

It won't pass, but we'll make our point.

Did he come drunk?

I'm sorry I brought the whole matter up. I'm going back to my office, if that's

all right with you.

Did you want some coffee, sir? Oh, I don't need any coffee. My adrenaline's

already pumping.

But thank you for asking anyhow, Clayton. What are you still doing here?

Benson, most of the time, I like your direct approach. I'm not...

lay this one off on me. You got yourself into this all by yourself.

I don't think I've ever seen him this angry. What a glorious day.

I've never seen Gene lose his temper before.

You really ought to be careful what you say, Benson.

Okay, I've got to face some facts. Fact one, she's here. Fact two, no one can

see her but me. Fact three, I'm not confident to be listing facts.

Oh, Benson, why can't you just accept the fact that there are certain things

don't understand?

That there are bonds of friendship that are so strong that their energy can send

a message out through time and space.

Next time, send a postcard.

Anyway, I just dropped by to say good morning before I take off.

You're leaving?

Yes. I'm going to be out all day today looking for a good deed.

Will I see you this evening?

That depends on whether I'll be seeing you.

I was afraid of that.

Hi, Benson.

What? Oh, yeah, hi.

You okay?

Some say yes, some say no.

Anything you want to talk about?

No. No, thanks for asking.

Well, you never know. I might be able to help.

Okay.

What do you know about angels?

Are we talking baseball or theology?

I'm talking about angels with wings and a halo. Too bad.

I could have told you about baseball.

Everybody else gets a visit from their relatives.

I get a visit from an angel.

Dipsy doodle.

ready to price padded wallpaper.

Did you say something?

Oh, me? Oh, no.

I, uh, just, uh, thinking, uh, out loud.

This is going to be much more difficult than I thought, Benson.

I need your help. What do you need my help for?

You're the one with friends in that big casino in the sky.

What can I do for a good deed?

How about feeding all the hungry children of the world?

See, you think you're so smart. I'm not allowed to do that because that would be

considered divine intervention, and man is supposed to solve that problem.

Hmm, fat chance.

How about world peace?

Man?

Racial harmony.

Definitely man.

Well, what in the world do they handle? Lost luggage?

What do you want, Clayton?

At three o 'clock this afternoon, the Finance Committee will rehear your

testimony on the health care bill.

I am not going to testify again. Let him read the transcript from the last

meeting. He's kind of cute.

When are you going to realize that you

can't do things like this?

Yes, I can.

If you insist on maintaining this childish attitude, you're going to wind

with nothing.

If you don't get out of my office, you're going to wind up with a mass set

arms.

The committee meets at three o 'clock. Be there.

Oh, Benson, that's a wonderful idea.

I'll fix Clayton's arm. Make one arm like the other.

No, wait!

Clayton, are you all right?

This is not going to count as your good deed, you know.

in, got his coffee, said some nasty things to me, and left.

There's nothing strange about that.

He seemed normal to me.

Well, Governor, he's been sitting in his office talking to himself all day.

The health care bill was the third bill in a row he's lost.

Maybe the pressure's getting to him.

Well, so we are all agreed.

Benson is Looney Tunes.

Maybe I should talk to him.

Aaron!

Hudson, you have a minute?

Sure. Come on in.

What's up?

Bunsen?

Ah, I beat around the bush.

I'm worried about you, Bunsen. Well, you're not half as worried as I am.

Just a minute.

I need to talk to you.

Now we're alone.

That makes two of us.

That's right.

You and me.

Nobody else need ever know anything about this conversation. Now, tell me

wrong.

Well, I don't know. I just feel like I'm... Don't stop, Hudson.

Banging my head against a brick wall here. That's right. Get it off your

You win one, you lose two. What's the point?

Now, go on.

Think I've got snagged you?

Oh, it's big luck, not you.

See how he's looking at you?

He thinks you're a seven -layered fruitcake.

You're not helping any.

Would you like to speak to a professional? They're going to come and

away, Benson.

What was that all about?

Aerobics.

Governor,

thank you for stopping by. I appreciate all you've done, but I...

I don't want to dance.

Oh, well, listen, me either.

Take my advice. Get some professional help.

Good. Now we can talk about my problem.

Your problem?

My co -workers and my boss think that I've gone into the cuckoo closet.

I'm not sure they're wrong.

I adore you, and I always have, but when you're in this kind of a mood, you're

no good to anybody.

I'll come back later when we can talk.

I don't think so.

Could you leave me alone for a while?

Okay, sure.

Come in.

Governor, you got a minute?

Sure.

About this afternoon, I just didn't want you to think that I

had...

Slipped off your pulley?

Yeah.

It's just that I don't think I'm cut out for this kind of work.

Maybe it's selfish, but I need to feel like, you know, I'm doing some good.

You are, Benson.

You are a little good here, a little good there, and all that's up.

Go there, Benson!

Goodness!

The health care bill passed the finance committee without the rider.

What? What happened?

Well, Chapman wasn't there, so Rigetti ran it through based on Benson's earlier

testimony. Chapman wasn't at his own committee meeting? Why?

Sir, I think you're going to love this story.

After working out at his health club, he got dressed, put on his toupee, and

headed for the Capitol. Well, apparently the glue wasn't dry because the wind

blew the toupee off his head and into the park. And while he was searching for

it, a kitten jumped out of a tree onto his head and got stuck on the glue.

Chapman and the kitten were rushed to the emergency ward, and by the time they

pried the kitten off of Chapman's head, the meeting was over and the bill had

passed.

Could you repeat that?

I can't. So,

Rigetti rammed it through, huh? Well, maybe I should get with him and we can

work on some strategy for the general session.

Oh, Benson, it's good to have you back.

The press is waiting for a statement.

Come on, let's gloat a little bit.

Oh, sir.

Congratulate me.

I did my good deed.

Congratulations.

Well, it seems like things worked out for the best for both of us.

What was your good deed?

Amazingly enough, something very small.

You see, I was in a park, and I helped this little kitten out of a tree.

You know, that's the first time I've laughed in weeks.

Thank you, Jessica.

Well, what are friends for?

Oh, I've got to fly.

Fly? Yes.

This is goodbye, Benson.

Already?

Seems you just got here. I still don't understand any of this. You know, you're

being here, you're not being here.

I don't understand it myself, but I did learn one thing.

I am positively not dead.

I'm in a coma somewhere in South America.

But don't worry, I'll get out of it all right.

I always knew you'd find a loophole.

I've missed you, Benson.

I wish we didn't have to say goodbye.

Will I ever see you again?

Oh, sure.

It's a small cosmos.

We'll have lunch.

Then let us not say goodbye.

Okay.

I love you.

And I love you.

Take me with you, cowboy.

I've outgrown Abilene. I'm not a cow -town girl anymore.

That's no good. I should be more forceful.

Take me with you, cowboy.

I've outgrown Abilene. I'm not a cow -town girl anymore.

Out it takes.

Who are you talking to?

I'm speaking to your gentleman caller.

Do you see anybody in that chair?

Do you?

Of course not.

Gipsy doodle.