Original subtitles

Bye -bye.

So, Benson, what have you got in the box? Get yourself a new pair of

The radio antenna.

you need this radio antenna?

It's not mine. It's for the governor's ham radio.

He made a radio out of a ham?

Cross, a ham radio is a shortwave radio.

It's the governor's new hobby.

I thought his hobby was golf.

Well, it is, but this is a rainy day hobby.

When they put the antenna up on the roof, he'll be able to talk to people

over the world.

What's the matter? He forgot how to dial the telephone?

With a ham radio, you can talk to people who don't even have telephones.

Well, if they don't have telephones, they probably don't want to be

If you have a telephone, you're disturbed.

Oh, Benson.

Have the maintenance men come by yet? Have they said if they can put up my

antenna? Not yet.

You're pretty excited about all this, aren't you? Oh, I sure am. Listen, once

get this thing hooked up, we can talk to anybody in the whole world.

Anybody in the whole world who has a ham radio.

I talked to the Pope one time.

Of course, he wasn't the Pope then, and I wasn't the governor.

I was just an American ham, and he was just a Polish ham.

Hello.

What?

Oh, darn.

Well, when can you do it?

Oh, all right.

Well, thank you.

Maintenance can't put it up for another week.

Oh, that's too bad.

Couldn't take more than a couple of minutes to hook this up. Oh, I'm sure

more complicated than that. No, no, no, no. All you do is strap it to the

chimney.

Are you suggesting that we do it ourselves?

Well, not if you don't want to. No, I want to.

Let's do it.

Hey, Beth, I didn't know you were interested in radio.

Yeah, well, I learned about it in the army.

Before that, all I knew about radio was that two white guys played Amos and

Andy.

Okay, Governor, how you doing down there? Oh, been going with you, Benson.

All I have to do is just put this wire through here.

And then...

It gets attached right there. Yeah.

Yeah. Hand me that thingamajig there, will you?

Which thingamajig?

Uh, the one with the yellow handle on it. The screwdriver.

Oh. No, no, no. The other one with the do -whacker on the end.

Will this do -whacker do?

Oh, yeah.

Next time, ask for the Phillips thingamajig.

Okay.

That's fine. No, I think all we have to do is just attach those wires. Yeah, let

me see those instructions.

Yeah, here.

This thing says, uh, be sure that wire A is attached to the

brackets, and then the printing goes off the page.

Oh, let me see that.

Yeah, well, hurry up, because I don't like the way this wind is picking up

Wind? You think this is windy?

Listen, I remember one time... Governor, we've all been in wind before, okay?

Read the instructions.

All right, maybe I can figure it out from the picture.

Let's see now.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Thank you.

Let's get this thing done in a hurry, okay?

Well, I'm for that.

Give me that wrench over there.

Where's the toolbox?

It's right there.

Where? I don't see it.

Well, it was there just a second ago. What'd I do with it?

Oh, there it is. I found it. Oh, good.

Down there with the ladder.

Oh. Well, then I'd better go down and get it. All right.

Well, this I got to see.

Benson, we're stuck up here.

Well, now, don't panic, Governor. All we have to do is yell for help.

But there's nobody around, and they'll never hear us inside the house. Well,

there's got to be a way to get down from here.

Here's a vent pipe.

Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. I remember Cary Grant shimmying down one of these

into Catch a Thief.

Oh, now there was a movie, huh? You remember that scene where he and Grace

into the... Governor, Governor, can we get down first?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. I don't think I'll forget it by then. Yeah, I don't think

so.

Benson, don't you think you should go down feet first?

Boy, you wouldn't want me to go down this without checking it first, do you?

Well, it... What the hell, Cary Grant?

They didn't make the movie on this roof.

Hold my feet. Okay. All right, I got you, Benson. If you go, I'm going with

Yeah, great. You can land on me.

Yeah, I think that'll hold me. That's good. Good.

Okay. Okay. I'll give her the job. Can you land here? Yeah. Okay.

What do you think?

Oh, look.

I've got an idea. Come on. What's that?

Put your foot right here.

Yeah,

put your foot right there.

Come on, I'll give you a boost.

See the hand hold up there?

Yeah, okay.

Come on.

Uh, yeah, uh, I don't really think this is gonna work.

Listen, listen, we've gotta get off this roof. Come on, now, you can make that.

Yeah, this is a lot of fun, but... You know, there's something wrong with this

picture. What do you mean?

We're supposed to be going down, not up.

Oh, oh, yeah, right.

Good night, Katie.

Good night. Oh, wait a minute.

I think I forgot to turn my typewriter off. I'll be right back.

Hurry up. I don't want to miss any of the show.

Where are you guys going tonight?

Pete's taking me to see an operetta.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Naughty Marietta is an operetta?

Yeah. What did you think it was?

You mean there's no nudity?

How gross.

Hey, for 15 bucks a ticket, they'd better be in bathing suits.

Katie, I thought you were going out tonight.

I'm going over to Judy Palermo's. Who's on TV?

I don't know. Why don't you check with TV Guide?

No, I mean the rock band.

Oh, a rock band.

What is it called?

Oh. The rock band.

That's right. This is their final concert.

Whose final concert?

Yeah.

Yahoo.

I'm pretty excited myself.

What are you doing tonight?

My favorite pianist is on PBS tonight.

Liberace?

No, Andre Watt's his name.

Beats me. I'm not into classical.

Oh, that's my ride.

Tell Daddy I'll see him in the morning that I left Judy's number on his desk.

Aren't those a little small to keep your ears warm?

Oh.

It's my radio. I want to be in the proper mood for the concert.

We're going to listen to who?

I don't know what I don't know.

I just want to go and wait for Watt.

And they said music was the universal language.

Ah, Miss Krauss, I have arranged for a very important meeting tomorrow morning

between the governor and the state party chairman. They'll be having breakfast.

Here is the menu.

Mm,

croissant, fresh melon, eggs benedict.

Where are they serving this?

Here. I'm expecting you to prepare it. Mm -hmm. You're going to be expecting

longer than a pregnant elephant.

Impertinent Bavarian peasant.

I hear you.

I was counting on that.

Katie!

Katie!

Katie! He can't hear you, Governor.

Must be that darn earphone she's wearing.

Oh, look, there's Clayton.

Hey, Clayton.

Clayton. Clayton. Clayton.

Clayton.

He can't hear us either. It must be the wind.

We're going to have to figure out another way to attract attention.

Right. We're going to have to throw something.

There's a piece of brick back here.

How about that?

Next person that comes out of here, I'm throwing it at them.

With any luck, it'll be Krause.

Okay,

now, Governor, take your time. This is our last chance.

The only car in the parking lot is Pete's.

Besides mine.

I'm sorry about that. I'll replace your windshield.

Oh, look, they're already getting into the car.

only thrown it ten seconds earlier.

Ten feet to the left. Yeah.

Oh, he's stopping.

Well, look, the only reason he's stopping is because he backed into my

It doesn't matter why he's stopping. If you want to take the credit for it, you

can.

Well, you look at that. He's not even stopping. He backed in.

Well, the important thing is not to panic.

Well, I guess we can just sit down here and give it enough time, Neil.

Come and get us. All right.

That's enough time.

You still angry?

Oh, no, I'm having the time of my life.

Well, have you figured out how to get off this roof?

No. All right, look at that tree, huh?

Yeah, what about it?

I could make that in a hop, skip, and a jump.

Well, after the hop, you can skip the jump, because you're going to be up in

your ears.

You think I hurt myself falling? No, landing.

It is three stories.

But there's got to be a way down from here. Benson, everything happens for a

reason. What are you talking about now, Governor?

When you and I got stuck up on this roof, it wasn't by accident.

I was meant to see all this. The car headlights on the highway, and the

the factories, the airport, the Capitol building.

Benson, there are millions of people out there.

Wouldn't you think one of them would look up here?

depend on me, Bunsen. Yeah.

Hope they don't need you tonight.

I mean, when you stopped it.

So what are you looking for now?

I don't know. I'm trying to find something to throw across his window.

Her light isn't on.

No, but tonight's not her bowling night, so she'll be up in her room to watch

TV.

Oh, here's something.

A boat?

No, what you need are pebbles.

Pebbles? Yeah.

That's what you throw at people's windows to get their attention.

Oh, I didn't know there were rules.

There aren't rules, Benson. It's just the accepted norm. I mean, traditionally

speaking, people throw pebbles, not rubber balls.

What difference does it make?

Oh, it doesn't make any difference to me. Go ahead.

Oh, see, her light's on. She's in her room.

Oh, I see her. Miss Crowe. Miss Crowe. She can't hear you.

Oh, she's pulling her shade down. Well, that's a blessing.

Benson. What? Aim carefully. I will. Because, I mean, it's a big target.

But it's a small ball.

Governor, I'm trying to concentrate. Oh, I certainly hope so, because if you

miss, we'll be up here all night.

Okay, Benson, let her rip.

and I could have hit the window.

Well, if you could have hit the window, why didn't you throw the ball? Because I

wanted to throw pebbles.

I would have thrown pebbles if I'd have had pebbles. I didn't have any pebbles.

What are you doing now? I'm making a tent.

What in the world do we need with a tent? To shield us from the rain.

Who says it's going to rain?

Step one, I tie the rope to this television antenna.

Step two, I stretch it to the chimney and pull it tight.

Step three, get a new plant.

Oh, nuts.

Birds must be on the antenna again.

I just have to floss later.

You're still angry?

No, I'm just bored.

I never realized there was so little to do on a roof.

We could play...

but you threw the ball away.

Now, I am getting angry.

Well, at least you're not bored.

No, I'm bored and angry.

I'm hungry. That, too.

You wouldn't happen to have anything on you to eat, would you?

Wait a minute here.

We're in luck.

What'd you say?

Cinnamon toothpick. A what?

Yeah.

You want one? No, thanks.

Suit yourself.

What do you think, huh?

Not bad.

Now all I need is a steak to clean my teeth.

Well, that cinnamon taste doesn't last very long, does it? No, just long enough

to make you thirsty.

Who's there?

Who's there?

You see that tree over there?

Manson, she'd never make that tree.

Phew, I might fall to the ground and hurt myself.

Well, that's the beauty of this place.

You see, somebody might see your body lying down there and look up here at us.

splashed that old lady on purpose.

You yelled ten points.

Well, what's that supposed to mean?

It was just a joke.

You know, sometimes I wonder what I see in you.

Wait a minute. You're telling me that you're going to break up with me because

some old lady has soggy support hose?

It's not funny.

Oh, good morning, all.

What a storm last night. I thought it was never going to stop.

Peter, Peter, Peter, let me have a look. This is extraordinary.

Neat, huh?

Functional, too.

Yes, I imagine.

It's lucky you weren't arrested for impersonating a school bus.

Now, that's funny.

There's no coffee. No coffee?

You know, it doesn't look like Gretchen did anything around here this morning.

I specifically requested her to have breakfast ready for this morning's

Well, I'm sure... there's an explanation.

That is not good enough. It's important to make some coffee and prepare a

breakfast tray.

Hey, pal, who do you think you're talking to?

Denise. Oh, fine.

Hey, wait a minute. Hold the phone, Clayton. I'm not your servant. I don't

coffee. I'm a secretary with an above -average IQ, which is more than I can

for either you or that empty -headed school bus.

All right. All right. I'll find the governor. You make breakfast.

Hey, you know, I have an IQ, too.

Fine, make something difficult.

And when you're finished, straighten up the governor's office and start a fire.

In the fireplace.

You awake?

I didn't sleep awake.

Me neither.

I had no trouble at all.

It's a Krell family treat. If we're tired enough, we can sleep anywhere,

standing up.

So could a horse.

Morning.

Oh, look, it's almost 8 o 'clock.

Yeah, the beginning of another challenging day here on the roof of the

governor's mansion.

Well, there's one good thing. At least you won't have to go to that breakfast

meeting that Clayton arranged.

That's right.

I had meetings to take place in my office.

Any chance of getting it moved to the roof?

No! This chimney goes down to my office. Maybe if I shout down, somebody might

hear. Oh, that's a good idea. I hope the flue is open.

Ah!

Shouldn't that be help?

There's a fire down there.

What are we going to do?

I don't know, but I wish I were down there in the office.

Hey, well, that's it.

Governor, hand me that tarp.

Kraus, take off your clothes.

What? I haven't been on the roof that long.

Now, maybe we can make a big enough bundle we can block off this flu.

Of course.

And then the smoke will back up and they'll have to check it.

Well,

I'll give you my robe and that's it.

That's plenty.

I realize these pajamas leave little to the imagination.

Now, shut your trap.

Is it open?

What's the matter? You're not eating.

I'm upset.

I never eat when I'm upset.

I'm just the other way. When I get upset, I eat.

Why are you upset?

Denise, my car.

All these eggs going to waste?

It really dismays me that the governor and Benson didn't even show up for the

meeting. Yeah, I know.

After I went to all the trouble of cooking breakfast.

Why would they deliberately try to embarrass me? Who knows?

Eat your eggs.

Well, maybe it's just time to move on.

Well, eat your eggs first.

If they don't want me, I'll resign.

I'll get you a pen.

You are supposed to try and pork me out a bit. Why? You didn't eat your eggs.

Friendship is a two -way street, you know.

Fire! Fire!

Where? In the governor's office!

Everyone out of the mansion!

Who is keeping them? They must have noticed something by now.

The clothes are beginning to burn.

My good robe.

Benson, you'll pay for this.

Cross, I've been up on the roof with you. That's punishment enough.

Listen.

I hear a siren.

A fire engine over there.

Oh, it's coming this way.

Oh, we're going to be rescued. We are saved. We are saved.

I'll go over there and wave to them so they'll know where we are. Miss Cross,

careful. This roof's still slippery from the rain.

Well, Benson, it's all over.

I don't think it's all over yet, sir. Why not?

The fire engine isn't stopping here.

It's working.

I'm getting a message.

Sir, I just want to go home.

Well, it could be Rome. I think it's Australia.

I'll be at home if you need me.

It could be Sydney, but... I'd better give him an answer.

Oh, I wish I had my Morse code book. Well, just have to do it from memory.

That's all, folks.