Original subtitles

Good night, Gross.

Well, Vincent, you ready for a knock -down, drag -out brawl?

Well, I'm on my way home now.

Maybe tomorrow.

I'm talking about the fight tonight.

You're going to see the champ get pulverized?

Gross, the champ's not going to lose.

Ten bucks says he won't make it to the first round.

You got a bet?

Like taking candy from a baby.

Have the ten bucks with you in the morning.

No way, Buster. I'll be on the receiving end of that bet. That champ will never

hear the bell for the second round.

Gretchen, did you make a bet on the boxing match? Yeah, ten bucks.

Oh, I didn't know you knew anything about boxing.

I don't. It's just fun to irritate Benson.

Boy, I'll be glad when this fight is over with. That is all that Peter's been

talking about all week. I know what you mean. The men around this place have

turned my kitchen into a locker room. Left hooks, right jabs, glass jaws.

You guys talking about the big fight?

Yeah, and we are sick of it. Yeah, that's all any of the guys talk about

anymore. I know, it's the same way at school.

I think it has something to do with being macho.

You know, I don't know what men find so appealing about violence.

First of all, as a group, men are not that intelligent.

Yeah.

My social studies teach me that violence is a reaction to the dehumanizing

elements in our society.

Oh, yeah, like when you want to kill somebody who cuts you off on the

You know what ticks me off? Our banks that put a 10 -day hold on your check.

Sometimes I just want to punch that teller. Oh, people who smoke in

Somebody ought to wring their neck.

How about the jerks that whistle at you on the street? I'd like to make them eat

that whistle and the creeps that call you on the phone that want to sell you

newspapers. Somebody ought to disconnect them permanently.

Yeah.

Well, see you guys later.

Where are you going, Liebschen?

Upstairs to watch Happy Days. I need to reaffirm my faith in the goodness of

mankind.

You better call that cable company again. It still says, please stand by.

Relax, Pete. They said they'd have the picture back on by fight time.

Well, it is fight time. How do you guys like your burgers?

Rare. Medium.

Maybe I should have asked you sooner.

It's on.

It's on. Picture's on. Ten percent.

Ladies and gentlemen, the crowd is on its feet as the current champion enters

the arena.

Come on, then.

Sorry I'm late. Has it started yet?

Champ's just coming on.

Impeccable timing, as usual.

Just listen to that crowd. The champion's still making his way to the

pausing occasionally to wave, to smile, to fall down.

What? What did he say?

Ladies and gentlemen, the champ has tripped over a beer cooler.

Yes, and it looks like he's not getting up.

No, it can't be.

The champ is out cold. He's out cold, and he's being carried back to his

dressing room.

Great. Thanks to a beer cooler, I owe... The crowd's ten bucks.

We're just stupid to eat, aren't we? Yeah, we might as well. We got all this

food here.

Well, then what do we do?

Well, there's four of us. We can play bridge.

Bridge.

Poker. I like it.

Can you guys take a check?

Sure.

I'll get the card.

Governor, a hamburger's coming.

Hamburger? What hamburger?

Anybody want another beer? Yeah. Yeah.

All right, Clayton, I'll see you at five and raise your tanks.

I'm out.

Hey, you couldn't believe the governor stayed in with a pair of fours. Pretty

good, huh?

A pair of fours.

Look at it this way, Clayton, the one that got away.

Hurry up and deal, Clayton. That reminds me of a story.

You develop an instinct.

One that got away from me was a girl named Norma Jean. I thought she was the

most beautiful woman in the world.

Panty up, guys.

And by one look at Norma Jean, those thick, soft, blonde curls and those big,

big eyes alive, any man would say, now, this lady could be a movie star. Movie

star? Yeah. Norma Jean. Yeah.

It was out before she changed her name.

That was several years before I met Katie's mother, and I remember I was

the lumber mill for my dad, and it was a nasty winter.

It snowed almost every day, and the winds were fierce.

I spent most of my evenings up at the main cabin reading by the fire.

Actually, I spent more time trying to keep the fire lit than I did reading. I

think the problem was the flu.

Oh, Reggie Gibson was supposed to clean it out once a month, but he hardly ever

did. Reggie spent almost all of his time fishing.

Reggie Gibson, how good to see you.

Sir, does Reggie have anything to do with Norma Jean?

No, not really.

Then why is he in this story?

Oh, right.

I'm sorry.

Goodbye, Reggie.

I was just crazy about Norma Jean. I was sure she was the only one for me.

I came to these mountains because I needed to be alone.

I needed to think.

I didn't plan on meeting you and...

Falling in love.

Is this a true story?

All my stories are true, Guns.

Don't go, Norma Jean.

I have to. I have to go back to California. Why?

That's where my future is, Jean.

But California's full of misfits.

Don't make it more difficult than it is.

Don't do this to me, Norma Jean.

You're all I've ever wanted in a woman, all I've ever hoped for.

I think I should tell you a story.

Great. A play within a play.

When I was about 16, there was this girl.

Oh, no, that doesn't really make my point. Oh, I know.

No, Gene, don't.

I just want you to hold me in your arms while we watch the fire.

And tomorrow...

You can drive me to the bus stop.

That's exactly what we did.

Except for the time I spent trying to keep that fire lit.

Believe me, you can't let a flu get clogged up.

And even when you do get the fire started, the smoke backs up into the

What happened to Norma Jean?

She went back to California and changed her name. Right.

Are you telling us what I think you're telling us? Of course he is, Vincent

Norma Jean.

Hazel eyes, blonde hair, changed her name, California.

It all adds up. I can't believe that with all the stories you've told me, you

never told me this one.

Vincent, Vincent, please, a little discretion. The governor might want to

the details confidential.

Details are fine.

You act like it's nothing that you had an affair with Marilyn Monroe.

I did?

Didn't she go on to become Marilyn Monroe?

Yeah. Not that I know of. Last I heard, she was Sister Mary Augustine.

You mean the one that got away was a nun?

Not until after she got away.

The deal is that... I know how you feel, Governor, though.

I let the girl of my dreams slip right through my fingers.

Pete, because you're telling us your story, it doesn't count as the ante. You

owe the pot.

I was in Vegas for a weekend writing a restaurant piece for an auto club

magazine.

Now, I'm not much of a gambler. Yeah, we can see that.

I was walking through the casino and I stopped at the roulette wheel and I won

$10 ,000.

And after I win the 10 grand, one of the casino bigwigs comes over to me. He

offers me the penthouse suite for the night.

Well, naturally, I accept.

You know, I figure I deserve a little special treatment.

But even I am unprepared for how special this place is.

I notice a scent of perfume in the air.

Then I hear a soft, sultry voice.

Hi there.

She's stunning, and she's sitting on the bed.

I saw you in the casino, and I just had to meet you.

Imagine the most gorgeous creature in the world wanted to meet me.

I can't imagine.

Yeah, Pete, might you be exaggerating just a bit?

Maybe. Only just a little bit.

I mean, I did win, but it was only about five grand.

So I didn't get a penthouse, just a regular suite.

But... When I walk in, oh, I still hear that soft, sultry voice.

Hello?

There's a nice -looking chick standing near the bed.

The hotel must be overbooked. Hope you don't mind sharing a room.

Overbooked? Do hotels really do that?

About as often as Pete wins $5 ,000.

Okay. Now that I think about it, maybe that's not exactly what happened.

Did anything happen at all?

Yeah.

Maybe I wasn't a big winner.

Maybe I wasn't a winner at all.

Okay, I broke even.

I had to pay for my own room.

But still.

When I walk in, I hear that soft, sultry voice.

Hey, Mac.

The truth, Peter.

She's, uh, turning down the bed.

But she did talk to me.

Here's some towels for the John.

It was a short relationship, but it was real.

Okay, get to betting, King.

Okay, one little red one.

Uh, I think I'll fold.

Like it?

I, too, have a tale of star -crossed lovers.

I was in the Foreign Service, summer intern.

My tour of duty was Abu Dhabi.

Ah, yes, the old Abu Dhabi duty.

Are you trying to tell us you had a girlfriend in Abu Dhabi?

It wasn't just a girlfriend.

She was a princess. Her name was Princess Leila Johanna Jasmine

I called her Sandy.

We'd been seeing each other for several weeks when she summoned me to her tent.

You sent for me, my princess?

Yes, Clayton.

Why else would you be here?

Oh, Layla, Layla, Layla.

My love, have you considered my proposal of marriage?

Yes, my love.

And I wish to marry you very much.

But it is not up to me.

My father demands a test.

A test?

A test.

Well, then we have nothing to worry about. I'm good at tests.

I carried a 3 .6 average all through college.

Then I shall tell my father that you accept the challenge of the vipers. Oh,

course, of course.

Vipers?

Does, um, does vipers mean the same thing in your language and that it means

my language?

Snakes.

It means the same thing.

Listen closely, my beloved.

Here.

Tonight. Here. When the moon is full.

Oh, yes.

You will return to this place. Oh, yes, I will.

There will be two blue tents next to the date palm.

Uh -huh, uh -huh, uh -huh.

I will be in one of the depths. Ooh.

Anointed with the bridal oil.

And waiting to receive you in the embrace of love. Oh.

And you know what's in the other tent.

The reception?

A hundred vipers.

Oh.

Wouldn't be much of a test without the vipers.

So what happened?

What do you think happened? I caught the first flight out of Abu Dhabi. You

never took the test?

Well, if I'd gone into one tent, I'd have been killed by vipers. If I'd gone

into the other tent, I'd have had to marry the girl who put the vipers in the

first tent.

Besides, he didn't want to go on an Abu Dhabi honeymoon.

What a sad story.

Yeah, you think that's sad?

I'm broke.

It's getting a little late for me, too.

Wait a minute. You guys can't leave. We haven't heard Benson's story.

My story?

Drive safely, guys.

Maybe some other time, Benson. Yeah, thanks for the hospitality, Benson.

Hey, Clayton, can I bum a ride?

Yeah, I suppose.

You don't have any snakes in the back seat, do you?

Man, Clayton, gee.

Well, Benson, my driver doesn't come for another 20 minutes.

You want to play some gin on me?

No, thank you.

Tell me about it, Benson.

There really wasn't any one special person? Sure there is.

There always is.

You know, the one you still think about even though you promised yourself you

never would.

The one you still wonder about, what if I'd handled it differently?

Don't you ever think about what does she look like now?

Oh, yeah.

Her name was Mary Ann.

Mary Ann.

Yeah.

Of course, that was a long time ago.

It was just right after I went into the Army.

There's also a complete schedule of other weekly activities.

Please feel free to take a copy.

And here's your ticket for the door prize.

The drawing will be held at the end of the night.

Enjoy your evening.

Hi. Hi, welcome to Honolulu Serviceman Center.

Thanks. Our law dancers are held here every Friday night.

There's also a complete schedule of other weekly activities. Please feel

take a copy.

And here's your ticket for the door prize.

The drawing will be held at the end of the night.

Enjoy your evening.

I bet you say that to all the guys.

It's my contribution to the war effort.

Does that contribution include dancing, too?

Sometimes, when I'm asked.

It's just that I thought that, well, maybe if you get a chance, if you want

of course, you could maybe, you know... Dance?

How'd you know I was going to say that?

Just a lucky guess.

Okay, well, I'll look for you later.

Or you can look for me.

Yes, you get it. You know, you want to.

I'm the one in the uniform.

Hi, welcome to Honolulu Serviceman Center.

Our lower dances are held here every Friday night. Here's the complete

How's the punch?

Did you make it?

No, I only work the reception table.

Awful.

My mother made it.

Awfully good.

I'm just kidding.

You don't have to keep drinking it.

Well, I just feel silly standing here moving to the music. Oh, I know what you

mean.

If I was dancing, I wouldn't have to drink this punch.

Well, it is getting kind of late.

Maybe next week.

Not much chance of that. I'm shipping out for Korea tomorrow morning. Tomorrow

morning. Will all you guys learn that line in basic training?

Well, I've been using it for years. I just always get a...

Very strange response in junior high school.

My name's Mary Ann.

Hi, Mary Ann. I'm Vincent.

And you really should get a better line than I'm shipping out in the morning.

I'll try to work on something while I'm over there.

Well, come on.

No, I am shipping out tomorrow morning.

Honest? Honest.

You know, it's not as late as I thought.

May I have this dance?

I am all yours.

So my father was stationed here and the whole family moved with him.

You don't know how tough that is when you're the youngest child.

Well, it's not the easiest thing in the world, being the oldest.

Did you ever have to take four brothers and sisters along on a date?

No. But were you ever third in line to wear your sister's dress?

Okay, so it's a draw.

On the other hand, with four sisters, I didn't have to do the dishes every

night.

Sounds like you miss them.

I do.

Especially after meals.

Well, listen.

That is my favorite song ever.

Mine, too.

Now.

And then if I can save that much each week, I'll be able to buy the Studebaker

by the end of the year.

What do you think?

I think I'm in love. Oh, you like Studebakers, too?

I hate Studebakers.

That meant I'm in love with you.

You come up with some of the most worn -out lines.

It's not a line, Mary Ann.

It wasn't a line when I said I was shipping out for Korea, and it's not a

now.

Benson, you're just lonely and a little scared.

Yeah, I am both of those things.

I'm lonely and I'm scared.

I'm also in love.

Oh, gosh.

Now I'm scared.

Don't be scared. Let's get married.

What? Let's get married.

Look, I don't have to be back at the base for six hours.

We can check the phone book and find a justice to the peace.

And before the sun comes up, you'll be Mrs. Benson Dubois.

What's the matter? You don't like the name? I'll change it.

It's not that, Vincent. It's just that we can't just pick up and... Oh, okay.

You really had me going there for a minute. I have never met anybody that

to kid around as much as you do.

Married.

You don't even know my parents. I haven't graduated.

And we just met each other.

You were kidding, weren't you?

Yeah.

That's me.

Anything for a laugh.

Well, it looks like they're closing the place up.

He's getting late.

You never saw Marianna again?

No, I never did.

I wrote to her once.

After the war.

But I didn't get an answer.

Oh, well, that's life.

Thank you for the evening, Nelson.

Oh, my pleasure, Governor.

Sorry, we didn't get to see the pipe.

See you on Monday.

Good night.