Original subtitles

Oh, yeah, Crouch. And I tell you, while I'm in Albuquerque, the men are coming

to insulate the attic.

Someone should insulate your attic. You told me three times.

What are you so nervous about?

Well, I'm not nervous. I got a lot on my mind. Sure wish I didn't have to go to

that solar energy conference.

A lot on your mind. Any idiot could set up a hospitality suite.

Then why ain't you doing it?

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

Well, I ain't carrying them for you.

Not the luggage.

I hate thinking about flying.

I hate waiting to fly. I hate flying.

And you know what I hate worse than flying?

Falling.

Why can't we take the train?

Well, I'd be happy if we could take a scheduled airline instead of a charter.

Well, Benson, maybe that's what you're so nervous about, flying.

I'm not nervous.

No, you're scared stiff.

I love to fly.

I really don't want to talk about flying.

I think I'll wait in the car.

I used to date a pilot.

He did all sorts of dangerous stunts. Besides dating you?

Sometimes I think I was born to fly. I almost wish I had wings.

I do, too. Then maybe you'd have something to flap besides your beak.

Well, you're off.

Goodbye, sweetheart. See you in a week. Bye, Daddy.

Miss Cross, if there are any problems, call me in Albuquerque. Yeah, yeah.

And when my ex -wife calls. I know. The checks in the mail.

Benson, have you seen the governor?

Distinguished looking man. Always wears a suit around the house.

Katie, where is Daddy?

I don't know where yours is, but mine's out in the car.

Well, so long, sugar.

Bye, Benson. Have a good time.

He's looking to choke, kid.

Benson, aren't you going to say goodbye?

Are you going to be here when I get back? Of course.

Then what's the point?

What are you two doing buckled in already?

Oh, nervous.

Oh, I understand.

I was nervous, too, the first time I ever flew. Did I ever tell you that

You suppose he waited until we got buckled in?

Yeah, sir, we really should get busy with this speech. In just a minute,

Clayton. I was telling the story at the first flight. You want to hear it? The

Wright Brothers, Kitty Hawk, 1903. I've heard it, sir.

I'll be waiting.

Well... Anyway, we were all in the plane. See, it was my first time. Oh,

was I nervous.

But everything turned out all right, huh? Well, it would have if we hadn't

into that chain -link fence.

Chain -link fence?

At the end of the runway.

This story isn't cheering me up.

Was anybody hurt?

Only the pigs.

Don't look at me. I ain't asking.

Pigs? The plane came to rest in the pig sty.

But fortunately, everybody was safe.

By the hair of their chinny -chin -chins.

Buckle up, folks. We're about to take off.

Watch out for the pigs.

How do you suppose those wings stay on with those heavy motors stuck in them?

Thanks for bringing that up, Marcy. That's one I haven't thought of.

Now, look here.

Flying works.

It's been proven over and over again. There are laws that govern it.

It makes...

Absolutely logical fence.

If you're a physics major.

But I'm not.

I'm a perfectly normal person who knows you cannot keep six tons of steel in the

air.

I think they're going to try it anyway.

Oh, here's something funny. My initial... Response is no.

Guess what's happening in Albuquerque, the home of the solar energy conference.

It's raining.

That's a good guess, Buster.

That's a great plan, isn't it? So far.

Did I ever tell you I took flying lessons?

Really? When? Thanks, Martin.

Always a few years ago.

I could have been first in my class, but something got in the way.

Are there pigs in this story?

Oh, no.

See, I never finished my lesson because I decided to run for governor.

At least I got that off the ground.

Did he buckle then?

No. Marcy,

what are you doing?

I was practicing my crash position.

What? Well, it's all here on this emergency card. Do you want to read it?

Not if it tells me to tuck my head between my legs and die with my face in

pillow.

This is important stuff, Benson. Now, did you know this?

In the unlikely event that we should be required to land in water, do not panic

as this craft... will stay afloat for several minutes.

Exactly how long is several?

Oh!

Oh!

It's coming from the cockpit. I don't like the sound of that.

Nothing to worry about. We're on automatic pilot.

We can have a little indigestion. Oh!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my heavens! What's happening? It's okay. I'll be all right in a minute.

Somebody better tell the co -pilot about this. That's a good idea, Benson.

Unfortunately, we don't have one.

There is no co -pilot.

Then who's flying the plane?

Well, as the pilot said, it's on automatic.

Is that a nice way of saying that nobody's flying this plane?

Oh, my God.

We're all going to die.

We're going to crash.

We're going to die. Benson, if you slap me, I'll slap you back.

Why, to get control of yourself, this is no time to panic.

I'm going to take over the controls.

Now you can panic.

That's okay for now, but if we hit an air pocket... So did you keep both hands

on the wheel?

You know, this is a lot bigger plane than I'm used to. But you do know what

you're doing.

Actually, this will be the first real plane I've flown.

You said you took lessons.

In a simulator.

This is the first time I've flown over four feet off the ground.

So you passed the Rockies yet?

I'm not sure where we are. Nothing out there looks familiar.

There should be some aerial maps in that pocket over there.

I don't know how to read these things.

Oh, I think I can. You take the wheel while I lift the map.

Say what?

It's okay, Benson. You just keep her steady as you go.

These wheels are synchronized, so we have to be careful what we do.

You put your right hand on your wheel while I take my right hand. off and

for the map.

Ready? Go.

Now, same with the left hand. Except, of course, that I won't be reaching for

the map.

Ready? Go.

Good.

Now you're flying the plane.

Relax, Benson. We're perfectly safe as long as she stays in the air.

I hope we got enough gas to grow old gracefully.

in bad shape.

I guess that... Oh, my God!

Benson's flying the plane!

Must have taken that personally.

You're kidding. Those are my sentiments exactly.

Did you find us on the map yet?

You know what the trouble with maps is? Unless you know where you are, you can't

figure out where you're going.

Well, maybe I should try to get somebody on the radio.

Wish I knew how.

Why don't you take the wheel and I'll try to find the radio.

Ready? Get set?

Just take the wheel.

You know, this baby is a lot easier to fly than that simulator.

Any luck with the radio?

Any one of these dials could be the radio.

How about that, Bob?

Oh, yeah.

The one marked radio.

It's the right frequency.

Well, let's turn it on and find out.

Let's just assume it's the right frequency and start talking.

to broadcast your distress signal into the cabin.

You're scaring the hell out of us back there.

You're scared?

I could end up being the first black on Mount Rushmore.

Help! I hate to bother you, but your left turn signal's on.

That's not the left turn signal, Marcy. That's the low fuel warning light.

I have a reserve tank.

I can just remember where that switch was.

Help! Help!

Anybody out there?

I can't raise anybody on this radio.

Just keep trying different frequencies, Butcher.

Governor, are you writing a farewell address?

No. I'm trying to figure our fuel consumption rate, and it'll tell us how

this reserve tank will keep us in the air.

I hope the pilot's feeling better. So do I.

I was absent the day we studied landings.

Well, there it is. How much time we got? According to my figures, we've got

enough fuel for either an hour and 41 minutes or six weeks.

I guess six weeks is too much to hope for.

True, sir.

But what if the pilot's not feeling any better before we run out of gas?

I'll just have to try to land this baby myself.

Hope we're near an airport.

Hope we're right side up.

Keeps him in his locker.

I'm going to turn off my record player and watch it. Okay.

There are several bloody noses, but it looks like they've stopped the fight.

...to Municipal Airport with this live minicam report.

This is Bill Kent at Municipal Airport, where we have just learned that a

private plane carrying Governor Gene Gatling is missing on a flight to

Albuquerque.

Officials here fear the worst. Oh, no.

Oh, please, God.

Mr. Dibuliski, you've indicated to us that your last contact was...

What was that, Liebling?

I'll tell you what I wanted for dinner.

But aren't we going to watch TV?

There's nothing on but hockey.

What's the matter, Miss Krause?

Nothing, nothing, Liebling.

Let's you and I go out for dinner.

But we can't. Daddy's supposed to be calling.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I forgot.

Benson, I need to talk to you. What is it, Marty?

Benson.

Our governor, I... It's all right, Benson.

Everything's under control.

I'll be right back.

I'll be here.

Keep him flying, Ace.

What is it?

Where's the pilot?

He's in the restroom.

Is he feeling better?

He isn't feeling anything. He's dead.

No. Yes.

I guess it was a heart attack.

Oh, God.

He went just like that.

Women always win, Benson.

Pete, not now.

They always win.

If I die before the divorce is final, Janine gets everything.

Fate is funny, isn't it, Benson? Pete, will you pull yourself together?

Benson, if you make it and I don't, do me a favor.

Burn my Cordoba.

Janine doesn't deserve rich Corinthian leather.

Pete, you're going to make it. In fact, we're all going to make it.

All we have to do is establish radio contact so somebody on the ground can

the governor down.

Benson, that sort of thing only works in Charlton Heston movies.

We're all going to die unless somebody does something.

So what do you suggest we do?

I found three parachutes. Well, I hate to point this out, but there are six of

us. So, three of us get parachutes and the rest get flotation cushions.

None of us are leaving this plane.

Well, I plan to jump.

Fine. Leave the parachutes and close the door behind you.

We're getting something on the radio.

Restricted airspace under the jurisdiction of North American Air

Command. Please identify yourself.

Hello, how...

Force to what?

Hello? Hello? Force to what?

Calm down, Benson. Governor, force to sounds very much like a threat.

Let's turn back and see if we can pick up that radio signal again. Hold on,

Benson. I've got to make a right turn here. Okay.

But look out for this jet coming up on your wing.

There's a jet coming up on your wing!

I've got to talk.

Any suggestions?

Are you a religious man?

I see, I see.

Yeah, yeah, it's terrible.

Well, thank you for telling me.

Katie, I have something very difficult to tell you.

Katie, earlier I fibbed when I told why your father

didn't call.

The truth is, the pilot of the plane is very, very thick.

And your father is flying the airplane now.

They are on their way to an airport in Las Vegas.

He has to try and land the plane.

Are they going to be all right?

Katie, I don't know.

I'm scared, Miss Krause.

Yeah, me too.

Are you still there, Clayton? I thought you left.

Benson, do you realize we are being followed by two sinister -looking

They're not following us. They're escorting us to Las Vegas. We're going

there. The governor can't land this plane.

It's just not fair.

I've waited all my life for someone like Dan.

Now I'm not even going to get the chance to tell him.

Well, isn't that just the way of life? One day you fall in love, and the next

day you're in a plane wreck.

She don't think that way.

We'll make it.

You'll see Dan again.

Oh, come on, Benson, face it.

Life has just handed us our pink slip.

I didn't come back here to hear all this moaning and groaning. I just came back

here to tell you to fasten your seatbelts, extinguish your cigarettes,

your trays to the upright position.

Come on, Benson, guys, we're going to be landing in a few minutes, and I just

wanted you to know that even though we've had our differences, you're all

special to me.

Don't worry, my...

He knows we're gonna die.

Oh, shut up.

People do not make speeches like that unless you're gonna die.

Well, I, for one, am not just going to strap myself in and die like some

lemming. What are you gonna do?

First thing I'm going to do is get rid of excess weight. I'm not jumping.

I'm talking about luggage.

No, not that. If we live, I'm gonna need my... makeup case.

Marcy, my life is more important than 20 pounds of lip gloss and eyeliner.

Now give me this case.

Throw out your own stuff. As long as we're gonna die, I'd like to get

off my chest. I think you're the most inconsiderate, self -centered,

boob I've ever had the misfortune to meet.

Self -centered and egotistical mean the same thing.

Oh, yeah.

You know, I just realized what would be the worst thing about dying.

It's not the things I'd miss, like sunsets and Christmas.

Divorce court?

It's not even the things I'd never get to do, like having children.

The worst is the people who are left behind, knowing how it'll hurt them.

approach vector in three minutes.

Thank you, Vegas Control.

How's it going, Governor?

Thinking positive thoughts, Benson.

Governor, this is Tango 4.

I had to veer off for a minute. Somebody was throwing luggage at me.

You're on your own now.

Good luck. I'm heading back to base.

Couldn't bear to watch, huh?

Oh, Benson.

Now it's just you and me and the plane.

And the runway.

Listen, Benson.

I get pretty busy around here in a few minutes, and I might not get a chance to

say this, so thank you.

For what?

For seeing me the way I see me.

I know a lot of people think I'm an airhead, and I don't know what's going

You always seem to realize that when I can't keep up with a small talk, it's

because I'm thinking more important things.

Right now, the very top of my list of priorities is thank you.

You know what I'm saying?

I do.

You know

what's

going through my head right now?

All the scrapes I've been in. All the surviving.

I remember one time when I was 14, a gang chased me down an alley for my

newspaper money.

I talked my way out of that one.

Then when I was in Korea, I got pinned in a mud hole for 13 hours. Shot my way

out of that one.

And now I'm up here in this situation.

Sure miss Korea.

Governor, this is Vegas Tower again. You're on your final approach.

Do you remember everything we discussed about the landing?

Trip. Watch airspeed.

Flaps. Pull back on the throttle.

Uh... Oh, there's one more thing.

The landing gear!

I don't think so, Governor.

Tower, please advise.

Does your runway have a neon flamingo?

Negative, negative.

Bear to your right. That's the Las Vegas Strip.

Okay, we have you on visual.

There's the runway.

Here we go.

You're looking good.

Looking good.

Steady as she goes.

Steady as she goes.

My knees are shaking so bad I can't stand up.

I see what you mean.

Listen, as we were landing, did your whole life flash in front of your eyes?

Marcy, these need to be typed.

My, my, my.

Aren't we extravagant? Another designer original we're wearing?

Well, I'm glad you like it, Clayton. You're paying for it.

I beg your pardon?

You threw the rest of my clothing out of the plane, remember?

Marcy, I am perfectly willing to reimburse you.

Oh, thank you.

If you can provide me with the receipts.

Good news, guys.

Nevada State Police call. They have our luggage.

Terrific. Perfect.

Yeah, I'm off the hook.

Not so fast.

It seems an old prospector is the one who found our luggage.

Oh, is it damaged?

No, the luggage survived the fall, but the prospector won $600 from you,

Clayton. What, as a reward?

No, damages.

Your suitcase bombing killed his mule.