Original subtitles

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm still here.

You remember those 300 chairs I rented from you for the governor's conference?

Yeah, they got here all right.

No, everything's fine. Just what I wanted.

Next Thursday.

So send over those two gorillas of yours.

You know, the ones that parked the truck on the back porch and then broke for

lunch.

Tell them to get over here and get these chairs out of here.

Benson, when are you going to get these chairs out of my kitchen?

Relax, Kraus. Somebody made a mistake.

Yeah, when they hired you.

Hi, Benson.

Hi, Katie.

Is my lunch almost ready, Miss Kraus? Almost, Liebling.

What is it? Der Sprecher ist vom Haarbraten des vorigen Abends.

What's that?

Yesterday's meatloaf.

Well, we're going to have to get another hotel. The Marquis Plaza fouled up my

reservations again. They put Governor Lyle and Governor Pennington in the same

room. My God, they aren't even in the same party.

Hmm, kinky.

Guess what, everybody?

I have great news.

They canceled the conference.

They did?

They didn't tell me, and I'm the chairman.

They didn't cancel the conference, Governor. What's the news?

Oh, well, I want to tell Katie first.

Honey, you better sit down. It's pretty exciting, Sir Chair Andy.

Katie, my father's coming to visit.

Oh, boy, that's great.

They are pals.

He lives in Colorado now, and he calls her every year on her birthday.

See, my father's Katie's grandfather.

How unusual.

Well, that's just terrific, sir. I'm sure we're all very anxious to meet him.

know I am.

Well, meet him at the door when he comes in.

I mean, he's my father, so naturally I've met him.

Just not recently.

See, what I meant... We got it, we got it.

What is your father like, Governor?

Oh, you'll love him. Everybody loves old Gibson Gatling.

You'll charm the pants right over.

I beg your pardon?

I didn't mean that literally.

See, what I meant was that he... Get

your

grubby mitts off that punch bowl.

There's crowds that doesn't belong here.

But doesn't belong here is you.

I always put the punch bowl next to the orders. It makes it easier for the

guests. And it also makes it easier for the guests to drop their little wieners

into the punch.

I'm putting it back. No, you're not.

Touch it and die.

If I go, I'm taking you with me.

Vincent, I am warning you.

Do not touch the punch bowl.

Looks pretty good.

Are you finished?

Not yet.

Benson, I need a favor.

It seems there's been some flip -up with Governor Joseph's hotel reservation.

Can't help you, Taylor. That's Marcy's department.

Well, I don't want to bother her about this. It seems the hotel didn't have a

room for a certain young lady who recently joined the staff.

I see. Someone he recruited in the lobby.

You think we can help them?

Sure. Let her stay in your apartment.

You think she would?

I've had it.

There aren't any other rooms available, and Governor Sutton isn't happy with

his. He doesn't like the view.

Tell him not to look out the window.

He hasn't got a window.

Hey, is Grandpa here? Yes, honey, he is. But, sweetheart, your grandpa's in a

wheelchair.

Now, there's nothing to worry about. It's just that he doesn't get around as

well as he used to.

Oh,

Miss Krause, I see you've met my father.

Yeah, rather suddenly.

Anybody ever tell you what a gorgeous woman you are?

Once, but she still wouldn't let him in the lifeboat.

Well, Dad, what do you think, huh?

I can't believe it. My son, the governor.

I'm glad I moved out of the state.

Everybody, this is my father, Gibson Gatling. How are you, sir? Forget it.

Where's my granddaughter?

Here, Grandpa.

Come here, honey. Give your old granddaddy a big hug.

Here's a little something I brought for you.

Thank you.

Oh, Dad, this is Taylor, my aide.

It is indeed a pleasure and an honor to meet you, sir.

You got soft hands, boy.

You probably never did an honest day's work.

If you did, we missed it.

Don't trust him. He's got shifty eyes.

Oh, actually, Daddy... Don't back -talk me, Jean.

Uh, Dad, this is my secretary, Marcy Hill. How do you do, sir? Very pretty.

Thank you.

Easy to see why Jean keeps you around.

Mr. Gatling, I'm not kept in any sense of the word.

Just kidding, sweetheart.

How do you do, sir?

I do as I damn well please.

I noticed.

That's what runs the mansion, Dad.

Just see you don't run it in the ground.

Come on, honey, I'll show you how to drive one of these things.

Where's your manners, Gene?

Why don't you show me the rest of the spread?

Isn't he something?

He sure is.

I haven't decided what.

at reception last night, you could have done a lot worse.

Thank you.

You, um, didn't ruin anything yourself.

Thank you.

No wonder they were overbooked at the hotels.

They just took a roll call and found out there were four extra governors.

They're trying to find the impostors.

I've got news for you. They're all in...

Well, sure. Fathers are even worse. All day long, I'm being chased by a

motorized maniac.

Isn't that old man awful? Last night, he was coming on to every woman in the

room. Yeah, this was supposed to be the governor's chance to shine.

If the old man keeps it up, he'll hang him out to dry.

Last night, he was telling me to come up to his room.

He's got some nerve.

He's got some guts.

All right.

I'm waiting.

You're waiting?

Not all day, I'm not.

You embarrass me, you embarrass my son.

That party you gave last night, it stunk, and I'm being kind.

We appreciate that.

Listen, my son told a joke last night, and you didn't laugh.

Nobody laughed. It wasn't funny.

Taylor laughed.

Taylor gets paid more than I do.

destined for bigger things.

Now, all of you, you better shape up or there's going to be some changes around

here.

Either he goes or I go.

Either way, I can't lose.

The governor should be informed of the problems his father is causing. You're

right. He's in his office, Benson.

Wait a minute. The governor thinks his old man is a great guy. I'm not going to

walk in there and tell him the truth.

You do it, Krauss.

Well, I'm not so good at that sort of thing. You do it, Marcy.

All right.

Then none of us will tell him.

You mean we're going to let that old man ruin our lives?

Of course.

We'll just let him take over the whole conference and let the governor look

a fool.

Come on, Vincent. You're the only one who can talk to the governor about

something like this. I listen to you.

Vincent, think of the governor's future.

Okay, okay.

I'll go save his future.

And put an end to mine.

Come in.

Oh, hi, Benson.

Uh, Governor, do you have a moment to talk?

No, he doesn't. He has a moment to take care of the state business before he has

to address the conference.

What is it, Benson?

Keep up the good work.

It's about your father, sir. Oh, isn't he too much?

Way too much.

Governor, I'd like to tell you that your father is a funny, lovable, charming

old man.

Thank you, Benson.

That's what I'd like to tell you.

Sir, what Benson is being so insensitive to suggest is that your father is a

royal pain in the neck.

Governor, last night he gave his opinions to everyone. They were usually

opposite of yours, and it's going to be very embarrassing to you. Peter, let me

tell you a story about my father.

Now you've done it.

When I was in high school, I played end on the football team.

Is that the end of the story?

No, no, no, no, no. I remember the one game that my father went to. It was

against St. Joe, and we were behind like 13 to 7 with just a few minutes left to

play. You know what my father did?

I give up.

He sent the coach a note.

And it said, there's only one way to win this game.

Give my boy to the other team.

Of course, the coach laughed. I mean,

everybody did, even me.

Then he took me out of the game.

Well, we lost anyway.

Sir, if I were you, I wouldn't tell that story to anyone else. It might mean the

end of Father's Day.

Just the kind of guy my father is. He'll do anything for a laugh.

He's a real funny guy.

If your father's funny, I'm Earl Butz.

Sir, your father is certainly a unique individual.

I know. I've asked him to stay on with us. You did?

Definitely. For how long?

Indefinitely. What did he say?

Well, he didn't want to be in the way.

and I persuaded him to stay. Oh, no.

Come on, Gene.

Get your tail in gear. You can't keep these people waiting all day. All right,

Father. I'll see you later.

Sir, could you define indefinitely?

My son tell you the good news?

No, he told me you were staying.

Somebody's got to look out for my boy's interests. From top to bottom, he seems

to be surrounded by deadbeats and freeloaders.

But I'll fix that.

So you won't be staying.

You've got a smart mouth, Benson.

But for some reason, my son thinks a lot of you.

Just remember one thing.

Nobody is indispensable.

Nobody.

Right.

Nobody.

made the reservation, but you can't hold me responsible for what happens when

they check out.

Of course I understand.

You know, I should think you'd be flattered Governor Hallett took a few of

towels.

Fine. Send him a bill.

Let's wait for the last of these governors to go home.

Benson. Taylor.

I have to talk to you. I'll check my appointment book.

Vincent, will you listen to me? We are getting national coverage for the press

conference this afternoon. All the wire services are sending their reporters.

Fine, I'll lock up the bar.

The point is, this is the governor's press conference and not his father's.

have to find a way to keep that old man out of the press conference.

What do you want me to do, bend his axle?

I'd like to take it and wrap it around his... Hello, sir!

Just remember your end of the bargain. You gotta do your homework.

But I tricked you. I don't have any homework, Grandpa.

Why, you... You hear that? She got the better of me.

Runs in the family, just like her granddaddy. With luck, she'll outgrow

Oh, hi, Dad.

Oh, Gene. Gene. I know you're nervous about this press conference, but don't

I'll be right there with you. Oh, no, that's really not necessary, Mr.

Button up, four eyes.

Now listen, Gene, these reporters are coming from all over the country. If we

play our cards right, the next stop could be the White House.

Oh, Dad, I don't have the qualifications to be president.

Never stopped anybody before.

You hear that?

Your staff thinks small when they think at all.

I'm telling you, Gene, you'll never get anywhere surrounded by these losers.

You didn't.

deserve that.

I'm sorry.

Now, how are we going to keep that old man out of the press conference? Well,

we'll have to think of something.

I can think of a lot of things, but none of them are legal.

Where have you been?

Mr. Gibson Gatling sends his regrets. He won't be able to attend the press

conference. Now, that's too bad. What happened?

While he was taking a nap, his wheelchair accidentally rolled down the

into the laundry room.

Ladies and gentlemen, in a way, I'm almost glad the governor's conference

come to an end because... Every time somebody'd say governor, I'd jump up and

whip around, and nine times out of ten, it wasn't even me they wanted.

Aha!

The jokes.

On the serious side, in the last several days, we have opened the door to new

challenges.

What an unexpected surprise. My father...

My son.

He was a kind of an unexpected surprise himself.

Oh, my God. They like him.

There's something you want to say, Dad?

Oh, no, no, Gene. It's your show. You go right ahead.

Well, at any rate, this governor's conference was very successful.

Excuse me. What Gene means is that he has been very successful in getting his

ideas across.

And they're all very good, by the way.

Well, actually, all the governors presented their ideas. Let me tell you

these other governors.

They're all a bunch of good -time Charlies. They're a bunch of party boys.

You've got to get him out of here.

What do you suggest, a tow truck?

Don't make a scene. You'll embarrass the governor.

It's too late for that.

All of the governors agreed that the conference was very worthwhile.

Why wouldn't they? He made them look good.

of the conference was... Watson, what are you doing?

It's time for your medication.

I don't need any medication. You're going to.

You were saying... Oh, well, it would be inaccurate to suggest... That's a good

job if you don't let me go.

If you don't want me, I'll let you take it. Let go!

to request your indulgence for the interruption of these proceedings.

As you no doubt noticed, my father has his own way of doing things.

He was just trying to help me.

I don't in any way apologize for his behavior. I just ask for your

understanding.

Now, as to the specific proposals drafted by the...

Want a magazine or something?

Just how long do you plan on keeping me here, Benson?

Well, as soon as the press conference is over, you're free to go. The further,

the better.

As soon as the press conference is over, you'll be the one to go. If that's what

the governor wants.

It's what I want. And if it's what I want, Gene will do it.

Why don't you get off his back? You've done nothing but hurt him since you came

here. Just who do you think you are telling me what to do?

I'm a friend of your son's.

I'm not sure you can say the same thing.

Stay out of there. He's doing all right without you.

Well, if he is, it's the first time.

That's what you'd like to think, isn't it? That he can't make a move without

you.

It's true.

The hell it is.

He's been doing just fine while you've been sitting on your big spread in

Colorado.

He's run a successful business. He's run for office. He runs this state and he

can run his life.

Now, I'm not saying that there's no room for improvement.

But he must be doing something right.

How come you're the only one who can't see that?

You want to go out there and mess up his press conference? Go right.

What's the matter?

You're afraid you'll go out there and find he doesn't need you?

That he's doing just fine without you?

That he's better than you ever let him believe?

conference went off quite well.

Yeah, well, sure.

Started with a bang.

Gene? Oh, that's all right, Dad. Forget it. Don't interrupt me, Gene.

I want to talk to you.

I'll go pack.

No, no.

You stay here.

Benson says I've been riding you pretty hard.

Well, no more than usual.

I always did it for your own good, you know that.

I'd do anything in the world for you.

I said anything.

Well, how about a pat on the back once in a while?

What for?

You know I'm proud of you.

Well, it's nice to hear you say it all the time I was growing up.

You never once told me that anything I ever did pleased you.

That you loved me.

Words like that just never came easy to me.

I tried to show you how I felt.

Tried to show your ma, the other kids.

Maybe I should have found the words.

I love you, son.

I love you more than anything.

I love you, too.

Well... That's a start.

Dad, I'd like you to stay on here as long as you want to.

I don't get carried away.

Well, thank you, Gene.

I think I would like to stay on a few more days, and then maybe I'll go and

visit the other kids.

Might even mend a few fences there.

Let's start right here.

Vincent?

Vincent, I want you to know that I didn't mean all those harsh things I

you.

Well, Mr. Gatling, I want you to know that I didn't mean all those harsh

I said to you either.

Just some of them.

Morning, Benson. Morning, Governor.

Did your father get off okay?

Oh, fine.

His flight was a few minutes late taking off.

He was probably telling the pilot how to fly the plane.

You know, Benson, in a way...

I feel a little bit guilty.

About what, sir?

Well, I know I shouldn't be, but I'm sort of relieved to see him go, you know

what I mean?

If I ever.

I hope when he's there, he tries to patch things up with my brother Harvey.

Dad hasn't seen him since the day Harvey got married.

Was that Harvey's wedding present?

Well, no. I think it had something to do with the loud... comment of my father's

that the bride had no business wearing white.

That could cause some strain.

Yeah, Harvey.

For some reason, Dad was always harder on him than he was on me. I was always

Dad's favorite.

I could tell.

Benson is videotaped before a studio audience.