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All language subtitles for Aussie Girl s01e04 Monkey Love

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:08,700 Hi, my name is Tamin Sirsock. Hi. 2 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:15,900 Hi. Hi. Hi, my name is Tamin Sirsock and I'm, um, my name is Tamin Sirsock 3 00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,920 and I'm reading for woman number three. 4 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:51,700 Mom, 5 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,880 I can't talk right now, okay? I literally am trying to find an 6 00:00:55,880 --> 00:01:00,240 just saw a guy who says he's Buffalo Bill with a penis tucked between his 7 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:05,260 He puts the lotion on its skin, or else he gets the hose again. 8 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,580 Mom, why are you crying? 9 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:13,720 Dad, why is Mom crying? 10 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,120 We know! 11 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,930 Dad, are you crying too? 12 00:01:17,230 --> 00:01:20,530 We know what you've done. Oh, my baby girl. 13 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:21,870 What have I done? 14 00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:23,530 Porn! 15 00:01:25,430 --> 00:01:26,430 Is that me? 16 00:01:27,690 --> 00:01:30,870 Holy shit, Paul! It's you, Tim, and it's you. 17 00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:32,730 Oh, no. 18 00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:37,530 She's already fallen into the clutches of an international porn ring. 19 00:01:38,310 --> 00:01:41,970 That's it. I'm sending you a ticket for the next flight back to Sydney. 20 00:01:42,290 --> 00:01:43,350 Why is this happening to me? 21 00:01:43,590 --> 00:01:47,110 In all those years of... Private school and piano lessons. 22 00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:53,010 And this is what it's all come down to. Why is this always happening to me? 23 00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:54,470 Oh, dear. 24 00:01:55,470 --> 00:01:56,890 One second, guys, okay? 25 00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:58,330 Hi. 26 00:01:58,890 --> 00:02:04,050 Do you have a magazine called Cocktucket? US, Australian or French 27 00:02:04,410 --> 00:02:05,430 All three, yeah. 28 00:02:08,570 --> 00:02:10,669 Oh, my God, guys. 29 00:02:13,260 --> 00:02:16,620 I mean, it is me, but it isn't me, but it is me. They probably just found some 30 00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:20,640 picture on the Internet, and now I'm promoting Circle Jack and Boo Cocky. 31 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:24,560 Boo Cocky? Why would they advertise Chinese food? 32 00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:03,570 The church group meets here every Wednesday for Bible study. 33 00:03:04,190 --> 00:03:06,650 Thank you. And you can join if you like. 34 00:03:06,930 --> 00:03:10,610 Of course, you'll have to bring a dish and nothing with too much salt or sugar. 35 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:15,790 We have several members who have hypertension or diabetes, and that was 36 00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:17,430 Matheson who had diabetes. 37 00:03:17,850 --> 00:03:21,150 He died eight or nine days ago. 38 00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:22,610 So sad. 39 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,090 First they had to amputate his toe. 40 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,670 Then it was his foot and his calf and his thigh. 41 00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:32,760 There wasn't much left of him when we buried him, bless his heart. 42 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,540 No sugar. 43 00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:41,760 Check. And absolutely no loud music, unless it's a hymnal. You know, grace at 44 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,940 home is grace in the heart. 45 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,320 Grace. 46 00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:49,980 Check. And I'm sorry, but no young men. I must be firm about that. 47 00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:53,970 I happen to believe that a chaste woman is a desirable woman. 48 00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:58,870 Why would you buy a car when you could get the gasoline for free? You get my 49 00:03:58,870 --> 00:04:00,650 drift? No gasoline. 50 00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:04,810 Check. Ma 'am, I am pure as they come. 51 00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:07,730 Pure heart, pure soul. 52 00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:10,170 I am Australia's sweetheart after all. 53 00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:13,510 I think we would be the perfect roomies. 54 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,390 Well... 55 00:04:18,810 --> 00:04:20,329 Welcome to my home. 56 00:04:21,850 --> 00:04:22,910 Oh, goodness. 57 00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:27,290 Is this you? 58 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,010 Yes, it is me. 59 00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,310 But it isn't me, if you know what I mean. 60 00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:37,530 Look at that gorgeous little hamster. 61 00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:45,030 Oh, my God. 62 00:04:45,650 --> 00:04:46,710 Is that... 63 00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:51,630 Are they trying to shove that... What's happening? 64 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:52,890 What's happening? 65 00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,250 What's happening? 66 00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:57,650 Ma 'am? 67 00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:03,370 Ma 'am? Ma 'am? Ma 'am? Hello? 68 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:04,930 Hello? 69 00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:07,690 Can someone call 911? 70 00:05:08,370 --> 00:05:10,290 There's no one here. I have to call 911. 71 00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:24,290 What is going on here? 72 00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:26,630 What did I miss? 73 00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:29,530 I'm sorry, but the woman in apartment 11 has expired. 74 00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:31,490 Oh, my God. 75 00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:33,510 I killed her. 76 00:05:33,990 --> 00:05:35,170 How did this happen? 77 00:05:41,650 --> 00:05:45,150 Nice photo. 78 00:05:45,790 --> 00:05:48,790 But I don't think this is her copy of Reader's Digest. 79 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:50,590 My issue of Cocksocket Magazine. 80 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:06,720 Okay. 81 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,240 What happened? 82 00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:11,460 I thought she passed out. 83 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,120 I think I actually killed her. 84 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,440 Look, I was desperate to find apartments, and everyone was worse than 85 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,780 until I ran into Mrs. Granger, and she was really lovely. 86 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:23,220 Until she saw me on the cover of Cocksocket magazine, and I didn't do 87 00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:25,460 things. I mean, I really, really love fluffy hamsters. 88 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:30,260 So here I am, literally homeless, out of the country, out of time, with three 89 00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:33,720 months to prove I actually can make it. I'm out of the will to even carry on. 90 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:39,040 Now you probably think I'm some killer and a freak. 91 00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:47,300 Okay, look, you're not going to believe me, but I'm from New York, and I was 92 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:48,800 doing a summer internship with the UN. 93 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:52,740 We were building houses in Sumatra, and one evening, an adolescent orangutan 94 00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:54,880 made his way into our camp and my tent. 95 00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:59,400 Now, what I thought was a dream about a passionate night with Ed Sheeran was 96 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,320 actually an oversexed teen ape. 97 00:07:02,150 --> 00:07:04,510 exploring his interest in proctology with my backside. 98 00:07:05,190 --> 00:07:08,410 Needless to say, the story went viral with my colleagues, and I was forced to 99 00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:12,110 leave my position with my tail between my legs, no pun intended, to start over 100 00:07:12,110 --> 00:07:16,450 here. To this day, I still cannot lose the shape of you without getting total 101 00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:19,330 PTSD. And to make matters worse, the monkey never called. 102 00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:23,890 That's, um... Inspiring? 103 00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:27,050 Brave. 104 00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:30,150 That's definitely... Brave. 105 00:07:30,970 --> 00:07:32,630 That you shared that story. 106 00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,870 I got a ton of those. 107 00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:39,330 My ex -boyfriend, he had a thing for having sex wearing only trash bags. 108 00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:43,150 So for Valentine's Day one year, he got me a box of hefty thin socks. 109 00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:45,890 Which, they're double reinforced. It's actually really sweet. 110 00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:47,850 He just left me. 111 00:07:48,470 --> 00:07:50,550 For a girl who gets off on popping balloons. 112 00:07:56,370 --> 00:07:58,790 I need a roommate. 113 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,120 What do you think? 114 00:08:04,780 --> 00:08:08,460 I think I just found my new best friend. 8361