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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:07,800 Previously on Aussie Girl. 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:09,240 Vagina! 3 00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:11,460 Stay true to yourself! 4 00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:15,500 How exactly did this happen there? I got something stuck in my throat and Trisha 5 00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:20,500 Bittsmore handed me a glass of water and... That lollipop -headed, 6 00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:24,780 bitch! I'm a laughingstock, Mum. You remember John, your old manager? He 7 00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:25,980 in L .A. America? 8 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:30,840 Holy... Tim, you're going to love it here. I've brought dozens of horses 9 00:00:30,940 --> 00:00:34,620 and you, darling, are going to be the biggest star of them all. Maybe dreams 10 00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:35,700 really do come true. 11 00:00:35,940 --> 00:00:36,580 You'll be just... 12 00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:42,980 I'm 13 00:00:42,980 --> 00:00:44,480 undeniably me. 14 00:00:45,460 --> 00:00:47,300 Oh, so me. 15 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,300 Undeniably... 16 00:00:59,370 --> 00:01:00,370 Orange cider? 17 00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:01,950 No thanks, dammit. 18 00:01:03,490 --> 00:01:05,510 So, should I just do it? 19 00:01:08,670 --> 00:01:10,130 Yeah, yeah, I guess so. 20 00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:13,950 Which one should I use? 21 00:01:16,530 --> 00:01:17,630 What do you mean? 22 00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:18,930 Which finger? 23 00:01:19,810 --> 00:01:21,150 Should I use a few? 24 00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:27,170 Uh, why don't we start with just one? 25 00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:29,220 And see how it goes. 26 00:01:30,140 --> 00:01:31,540 Okay. Yeah, all right. 27 00:01:31,820 --> 00:01:32,820 All right. 28 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,200 Okay. 29 00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:35,900 I'm going to do it. 30 00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:38,580 Wait. 31 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:44,420 Shouldn't you, I don't know, like, wet it first? 32 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,720 All right, then. 33 00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:57,940 Here it goes. 34 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,800 Well, if it isn't Tubby Tam and Sucks a Dick, it looks like he's about to hop on 35 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:07,800 a whale. 36 00:02:10,039 --> 00:02:13,020 There are times in life when you think you've hit your lowest. 37 00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:15,000 Come get your chickens! 38 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:22,040 Woo! Oh, God. Yeah, baby! And then there are times in life when you dress like a 39 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:23,040 chicken. Woo! 40 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:45,160 I need you to tell us how to get the cable setting off the DVR. Show her the 41 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,260 remote, Mum. I can't talk. 42 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:50,400 We've been stuck on the same setting for almost a week, and all we can watch are 43 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:56,220 reruns of your father's favourite actress, Ashley Jart. I seriously can't 44 00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:57,119 right now. 45 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,800 I've got to go. And you know how randy your father gets when it comes to Ashley 46 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:06,500 Jart. Mum, Mum, I seriously can't talk right now, OK? He gets all worked up, 47 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:07,920 then he sets his sights on me. 48 00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:09,220 Mum. 49 00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:14,580 I can't do this right now. Imagine, all week, over and over again, nothing but 50 00:03:14,580 --> 00:03:18,040 double jeopardy. Mom! I'm worn out like an old wicker keeper's glove. Mom! 51 00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:20,280 Okay, I can't talk. Okay, bye. 52 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,200 Oh, 53 00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:24,779 this guy. 54 00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:27,660 I'm literally getting my right ovary. 55 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:28,899 Or a pear. 56 00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:30,000 I'm seeing this right now. 57 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,440 If everyone can take their seats, we can begin. 58 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,440 This officially can't get any worse. 59 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:51,120 Brushtail possum, native to Australia, has been known to play dead as an 60 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,240 instinctive defence mechanism for deterring predators. 61 00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:59,120 It will literally freeze in place, hoping to blend into its natural 62 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:05,680 surroundings. Also, anatomically, the brushtail scrotum is situated above its 63 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:10,980 penis, which means sometimes you have to go into a situation false first. And 64 00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:13,040 so, dear friends and family... 65 00:04:13,610 --> 00:04:19,810 We remember our dearly departed life not for the tragic way in which it was cut 66 00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:25,710 short, but for the fulfilled and rich manner in which it touched us all. 67 00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:32,430 And now I'd like to call on one of John's many success stories. 68 00:04:32,670 --> 00:04:36,870 In just a few weeks, her promising career has taken off like a rocket. 69 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:42,630 Tricia Pilsmore, could you please come up and grace us with some kind words? 70 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,000 for the love of all that is holy. 71 00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:53,740 Oh. 72 00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:55,320 Oh, John. 73 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,840 Oh, my John John. 74 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,640 Sorry. Sorry. 75 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,160 Thank you. 76 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:09,800 Success. 77 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,780 That is the word I think of most when I think of John Higgin. 78 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:19,290 A man who touched... so many lives by recognising who was really talented. 79 00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,610 Especially those who really stood out. 80 00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:26,310 Like, well, like me. 81 00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:29,550 Biting tongue, biting tongue. 82 00:05:29,770 --> 00:05:33,530 As many of you may know, I've been coming back and forth from Australia to 83 00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:36,330 States, you know, just to give a bit of a go of it. 84 00:05:36,690 --> 00:05:41,830 And wouldn't you know it, with John's guidance and his personal belief in me 85 00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,270 how amazing I am, 86 00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:47,250 Biting tongue off. 87 00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:51,270 Biting tongue off. Things have gone extraordinarily well. 88 00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:58,590 So, as we think of John, let's pause a moment to think of ourselves. 89 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:05,930 To think of our own greatness. And how truly special we each are. Because 90 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:09,810 what John stood for. What a giant pile of shame shits! 91 00:06:12,810 --> 00:06:13,810 Hi. 92 00:06:14,730 --> 00:06:15,730 Everyone's looking at me. 93 00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:17,850 You all look lovely. 94 00:06:19,190 --> 00:06:20,190 Beautifully dressed. 95 00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:25,330 That's not what John stood for. 96 00:06:25,930 --> 00:06:31,210 He was all about having a dream and following that dream no matter where it 97 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:37,050 you. Even if it means standing up to certain people who'll do whatever it 98 00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:38,750 to get what they want. 99 00:06:38,970 --> 00:06:44,390 Like poison your drink at the Loggie Awards in front of all 100 00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:49,900 Yeah. 101 00:06:50,220 --> 00:06:54,740 Colonel Mustard, in the library, with a lead pipe, for the win. 102 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,860 I don't even know if I'm extraordinary or amazing. 103 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:04,280 But John was all about accepting your faults and your insecurities. 104 00:07:05,820 --> 00:07:07,700 So I might be dressed like a chicken. 105 00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:10,480 Yep, it's a chicken. 106 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,540 But I am anything but. 107 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,260 Regardless of what you might all think. 108 00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:20,360 make something of my life, okay? 109 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,820 Yeah. A new life. An American life. 110 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,680 An Aussie in America. An Aussie girl. 111 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:28,920 We've had a theme song. 112 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,320 Cute right now. 113 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,040 I'd walk out with my chicken head held high. 114 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,620 Ooh. Sorry, little dove. 115 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,200 I usually play sports events on the weekends. 116 00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:45,300 Anyway. 117 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:49,599 I don't want to. 118 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,400 Oh, God. 119 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,080 I do. 120 00:07:58,700 --> 00:07:59,519 It's me. 121 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,800 A little bit of pride. I have left. 122 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:06,440 Oh, and Trish. 123 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:09,460 I could be a heck of a chicken, too. 124 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:21,850 Excuse me. Excuse me. 125 00:08:22,130 --> 00:08:23,370 Hi. Hi there. 126 00:08:23,890 --> 00:08:24,890 Hello. Hi. 127 00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:27,310 Excuse me. Hi. Hi. Hi. Sorry to bother you. 128 00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:30,930 If you're here with a daily mail, I have no comment, okay? No, no. I'm not even 129 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:35,350 Australian. I'm just Andrew. I'm an agent, actually, and I saw you in there, 130 00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:38,450 that was really spunky and cool, and I think maybe we could work together, you 131 00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,450 know? Well, I'm a junior agent. 132 00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:44,550 I'm only allowed to hip pocket, so that means you're not really with the agency, 133 00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:48,270 and no one will return your call or fight for you, except for me, but people 134 00:08:48,270 --> 00:08:51,330 don't. People don't usually listen to me unless I'm getting them coffee, so 135 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,430 they're... I have an agent? 136 00:08:53,670 --> 00:08:54,790 Yes. Yes. 137 00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:56,510 You have an agent. I'm your agent. 138 00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,670 Okay. All right. I have cards. Okay. 139 00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:02,050 And they're in this fancy case. Really fancy? Here you go. Oh, my God. And I 140 00:09:02,050 --> 00:09:04,910 want to start getting to work for you right now. I'm going to go do it. I'm 141 00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:05,910 going to go make calls. 142 00:09:05,930 --> 00:09:06,930 Rally. Oh, wait. 143 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:13,510 I have a thing about agents crossing the street. Can you just... It's a long way 144 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:14,510 around. Yes. 145 00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:15,730 Anything for my client. 146 00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:17,210 You got this. 147 00:09:17,430 --> 00:09:19,950 All right. I'll talk to you soon. I'm going to work for you right now. 148 00:09:20,610 --> 00:09:21,610 Okay. 10785