Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

- How long have you been married? - Nearly three years.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

- But... - We met eight years ago.

In the summer of '91.

She's good-looking, in a way.

Kind of sexy.

Cut it out, Frank, she's your therapist.

But you don't have kids, do you?

- No, we don't have much space. - We wanted to wait.

There's no room for kids in the shoe box we live in.

I'm a lawyer, a newly-qualified solicitor.

- They're out to make him a partner. - We hope.

I run a small boutique at Östermalmstorg.

When we can afford a bigger place...

Maybe I should marry her?

No, Nenne and I are so happy.

I wonder if she's horny? She looks kind of horny to me.

Pardon me, but I have a question for Frank.

Would you mind having sex with me?

For therapeutic reasons, of course.

I think that both of you would benefit if you took me right now.

- If Nenne doesn't mind. - Of course I don't.

Listen to her, Frank. It might be a good idea.

It wouldn't count as cheating.

- Did you think it would? - I did, actually.

It would be for you and Nenne.

To improve your relationship.

Frank?

Why do you think your relationship has stagnated?

I guess I don't have much in the imagination department.

ADULT BEHAVIOUR... IT'S ALL IN THE MIND

"ANY TIME NOW THEY WILL REALIZE I'M A FRAUD."

I know you've been worried, but I have good news for you.

The court has awarded you 1.3 million in damages.

Great! How did you swing that?

Well, they had a weak spot.

I just knew this was going to go our way!

The board has decided to present you with a bonus.

- He smells like cheese. - Well, when we get our money.

I know he can't help it, but he does smell like cheese.

It must be his body chemistry.

"The mouse gets the cheese"...

Stop it! That's not what should be on your mind.

Think about how happy you and Nenne will be.

We're headed for a great life together.

This is the drawing room.

The tiled stoves are all in working order.

The kitchen is right over here.

Did I give you a prospectus?

Has the plumbing been upgraded recently?

Why were they selling the place?

I got the distinct feeling they were getting a divorce.

It was in the air.

They must be loaded to afford a fancy place like that.

But they weren't happy. I bet they've stopped sleeping together.

- What about the birth-control pills? - Well, people never stop hoping.

It's impossible to picture the two of them having sex at all.

- He's probably gay. - No, come on now!

It happens all the time. After 30 years of marriage -

- your husband introduces you to his new male lover.

He isn't the type. He's big and hairy - a real stud.

She's tiny. Who knows, maybe he beats her.

She looked unwell and the medicine cabinet was stuffed.

- I bet they're getting divorced. - Right... Or it could be cancer.

Hi!

There's that girl again.

Forget it, she'd never go to bed with you.

Not that I would.

What if I was forced to do it? If someone put a gun to my head?

I wouldn't have a choice, would I? I'd have to make the best of it.

What's wrong with me?

- I would like to file a complaint. - Hey, it was just my imagination!

Frank was thinking about squeezing my breasts.

- It was a joke! - Frank!

What a bitch! It was... what the heck!

- I'll be out for a few hours. - All right.

What a moist voice she has...

I'm going out to lunch, I'll be back by one.

So, the people from Backmans were pleased?

Damn fine work!

To be honest, I didn't think you'd be able to pull it off so well.

I'm glad you're pleased. Well, see you later.

Is he going my way?

I'll pretend I haven't noticed.

Shit!

What do I do now? I'll try and outwalk him.

Slow down, you old fogey!

No more juice in the morning.

It upsets my stomach and leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

I wonder what she has for breakfast?

I bet it's oatmeal, she looks so wholesome.

But for all I know she might spend her days...

There I go again!

No, I didn't. I was going to think about sex, but then I didn't.

I thought about her breakfast habits.

We were planning to make you a partner.

But it turns out you daydream on the subway.

About having sex while eating oatmeal. Is that true?

No, it isn't true and it doesn't matter anyway.

I'm going to quit daydreaming and turn over a new leaf.

No more thinking about sex, or anything else Nenne dislikes.

I'm going to become a bona fide adult.

A marvelous husband who surprises his wife -

- with a fabulous dinner on a weekday.

I'm going to cut out all that immature stuff, like lying -

- having prejudiced opinions of homosexuals -

- and claiming that I saw Jannike Björling in the nude.

- It's me. What's up? - I'm cooking.

I'm at Mom's. I'll eat here and spend the night, she needs some company.

- She took the dog's medication. - The dog takes medication?

He pops pills morning, noon and night.

- Sonja's taken doggy medicine? - Just one dose, she'll survive.

The dog got her beta-blockers, Rohypnol and some kind of diuretic.

- What is the dog on? - Something to stop him shedding.

And some asthma medication, Mom's turned him into a passive smoker.

Call now to order the "Private Double Master".

Dial 0200-388 666.

This is a product many of you have asked for.

The "Private Dildo Harness" is an exclusive strap-on...

It's sick!

Why can't you show something people will understand?

It's meant to provoke people.

They decided to put their divorce on display.

Over half of all Swedish marriages fail. They're being honest about it.

- I think it's sick. - That's because you feel threatened.

They're out to get people like you.

So that's why they're getting divorced! It's for my sake.

They figured: "What the hell, let's get a divorce and provoke Frank."

- Why are they out to get me? - Why do you let it get to you?

- You and your hysterical family! - It doesn't get to me.

I complimented her on her herring and she said: "It was inedible!"

- Maybe she has high standards. - Higher than mine?

- She's oppressed! - She pickles herring.

I'm talking about the deterioration of moral values.

Nowadays people get divorced at the drop of a hat.

Happiness is something you have to fight for.

People give up too easily.

- Markus, people give up too easily. - I don't agree.

People put too much effort into their relationships.

They hang on too long. They should walk away.

I call it the way I see it. It would never occur to me to get married.

Being faithful to one woman all your life is absurd.

It goes against the grain of manhood.

It's not a problem if you're in love with the woman...

Do you know how many beautiful women there are in the world?

- Cut it out! - Not to mention in Stockholm alone.

Be as cynical as you like.

I intend to fight for Nenne and me to be happy.

I thought you were happy.

Happier, then.

Give me some candy.

- Women generally want two things. - I'm all ears.

It's not really love they're after.

They want to be top priority. They want to be important.

They want to know that if something came up -

- you would drop everything for their sake.

- What else? - Sex in unexpected places.

The more unexpected and surprising, the better.

- Sex? - They like it.

What kind of unexpected places?

The kitchen, the woodshed, the woods, an elevator...

- Not here! - Let's have a quickie.

"In the elevator..." Why would that appeal to them?

It's part of the same package, you see.

"He wants me so much and damn the consequences."

That might apply to your arty girls.

- They might go for sex on the floor. - No, all women like it.

Ordinary, square girls like Nenne -

- would demand separate bedrooms if I proposed sex in an elevator.

I know damn well what women want!

- I'd like to buy some flowers. - How about roses?

What about lilies?

They love getting flowers out of the blue.

Here's a four-bedroom duplex on Odengatan.

I read that men think about sex at least 30 times a day.

That's all they do, then. Too bad: "Only legal entities need apply".

Georg says it has to do with reproduction.

If lots of men die in wars -

- somebody has to ensure the survival of the human race.

Would thinking about sex 30 times a day prepare you for war?

If the male population was reduced, the rest would have to get busy.

Frank doesn't worry about war, his mind is filled with legal stuff.

Nothing. There are hardly ever any listings on Wednesdays.

Georg wants to live in Gamla Stan, and not in stuffy old Östermalm.

It's way too expensive. A tiny flat costs millions.

He earns good money, 10,000 kronor for an article.

- Doesn't he have any bad sides? - Nope.

"For you, because you're fantastic."

No, that's too banal.

"Because I love you." That's pretty damn good.

You really know the way to a woman's heart. But why...?

Because I love you.

Excuse me, but I got all choked up.

- What beautiful flowers! - Georg drowns me in flowers.

- How about going out for dinner? - If my brother can come along.

- Isn't he in Spain? - He's back.

- Why? - I guess he felt like it.

- Does he have a new girlfriend, too? - Don't be so negative.

It could be fun, she's American. I said I'd go out with them.

- Here you go... - Let's go to Markus' gallery.

And later on we can have a bite to eat at some cozy little restaurant.

I don't enjoy his stuff. Let's have a drink with my brother.

- Then you can go to your show. - It's not my show.

This one's much better.

- Your brother doesn't care about us. - Of course he does.

What the heck is puckelpist in English?

SEPARATE WAYS The story of a divorce

I called the guy up and asked him why he painted such shitty paintings.

- What did he say? - He told me off, then he said:

"Why don't we get together over a drink?"

- Hi there! - Hi, Frank. Good to see you.

- Have a glass of wine. - Thank you.

- Meet Michaela and Henrik. - What do I say: Happy Divorce?

- What a nice show. - Have you seen it?

God, I'm such a moron! No...

They saw me come in. I'm going to check it out.

Divorce is an interesting concept. That was even worse.

Some people feel the subject is too personal.

But these issues are bigger than our sex life.

That's right.

We've put every aspect of the last year on display.

He only thinks he's a prude.

I'll go and check it out.

This was a sweater I knitted for Henrik.

Do you like it?

It took me eight months to knit, and Henrik never wore it.

He said it was too scratchy.

It really hurt my feelings.

So I unravelled the damn thing.

I'll go check out the rest, I'm curious.

Who knows, maybe they had a boat.

Either that, or a hangar of some kind.

I'd love to have had an artistic girl like that.

My God, she's gorgeous!

There's something sexy about a woman who looks serious.

I bet she paints.

Or she might be a mime.

She looks like the girl who poured milk over her breasts in Hustler.

What a frame of reference!

She looked at me.

Those art-school hussies probably study everybody...

She gave me the eye!

She wants me. How could I have called her a...?

WHORE

- What do you think? - Maybe Nenne and I should buy this.

The triptychs are more your style.

- Henrik made casts of his penis. - So, it's actually his.

I wondered about that, but it seemed a bit rude to ask.

Let me introduce you to some nice people.

- Have you met Sofia? - It's her!

What am I going to say?

How nice... Say something clever!

Did they model for real?

They showed certain bits...

I'm sorry.

It's easier to identify people by their faces, instead of their...

You reckon?

I thought the motif might have something to do with the divorce.

- A symbolization of infidelity. - No...!

They wouldn't be bothered by a little detail like that.

This reminds me of a comic strip.

This couple had been to marital counseling and one of them says:

"Sex with each other, why didn't we think of that?"

She's all right, and she's giving me the eye.

Maybe I should marry her?

I know I'm married already, but...

We're laughing at what might have been a painful experience.

I guess it's the price they have to pay to create a show like this.

- Art emerges through suffering. - That goes for the tarpaulin, I bet.

Christ, she smells good! And she thinks I'm nice.

I sure fooled her.

I mean, it's impossible that I could be the kind of guy -

- that could attract a girl like her and not know it.

Would you like to come up for a cup of tea?

Sure, I can manage a cup.

I could never cheat on Nenne. This girl's a friend.

We're going to discuss art, not sleep together.

Or we could compromise and do both...

Doesn't your wife wonder where you are?

No, I don't think so.

Do I have a wife? Boy, that sounds grown-up.

If you could do as you pleased, what would you like to do?

Have some tea, and talk.

I'm just curious.

Sometimes guys only have one thing in mind.

What should I say? "They must be morons?"

I didn't mean you were like that. You're a married man, right?

Do you have any middle names?

- I'm just curious, that's all. - Martin Emmanuel.

- That sounds so 19th century. - Does it?

I'm Alice Sofia. I thought about switching to Alice instead.

- Why? - It has a more exciting ring to it.

- Sofia's a nice name. - Really?

I could say that it suits you, but that's too corny.

It suits you. What else could I say?

Won't your being here late at night upset your wife?

There's no harm in talking.

I must be out of my mind!

My God, she's beautiful, and that look drives me crazy.

Why did I turn out the lights? Then she could be just anyone.

Oh no!

I want to look at you.

Bad idea.

Maybe we should take our time. It's not like we're in a hurry.

She sure looks sweet when she's fast asleep

I haven't managed to catch a wink

You know that rest does not come cheap

When you're on the brink...

"I CAN'T DIE NOW, WE'RE THROWING A DINNER PARTY."

It'll be great.

I've heard so much about Georg.

I'm glad she's met a nice guy instead of another loser.

This guy seems like a real winner.

The idea is to inject massive amounts of methanol.

Then you pump in as much air as you possibly can -

- and work those spark plugs.

It's powerful and environmentally friendly...

- You scared the daylights out of me. - What's wrong, are you sick?

- How are you? - Nothing's wrong.

- Why are you in bed? - Why shouldn't I be?

Why aren't you dressed? We're going to Nenne and Frank's for dinner!

I don't have time for dinner parties. I have work to do.

You were watching TV.

Why don't you take a shower?

Why don't you clean this place up and clean yourself up, too?

Rosie, I'm expecting an extremely important phone call.

- What were you eating? - Ice cream.

I happen to be writing an article about the media.

Watching TV is part of my job. I need to watch TV.

Tell me how the hell I can analyze the media -

- if I don't have a clue about what's on TV?

It's part of my job, Rosie.

I shouldn't have bothered with the lights.

Frank, you have just cheated on your wife.

You deserve to die, you've betrayed Nenne.

I can't die yet, we're throwing a dinner party.

Nenne would kill me if I died now that they're coming.

You can't really say that... Can you, now?

Sweetie...

- Aren't you going to get that? - No.

But weren't you expecting an important call?

- Georg here. - I've tried to reach you all day!

- All I get is an answering machine. - You must have the wrong number.

I was looking forward to this evening.

I wanted to show you off.

Don't...

- Hi, I'm Frank. - I'm Georg.

- Sorry we're late. - Hi, I'm Nenne.

Georg had an article to write.

- But we really wanted to come. - I'm doing research on the media.

Wow, she has great tits! What if I gave them a squeeze?

That would definitely ruin the evening.

I try to keep work and play separate.

I never bring work home. I like to enjoy my free time.

That's so typical of people in the Western world.

- It's so middle-class. - What's his problem?

Do I have to listen to this crap?

...compared to primitive cultures.

That's why you find immigrants working in the service sector.

They have a different take on work.

Saved by the bell, thank you!

Hi, Frank. It's Sofia.

Remember me? We met yesterday.

I think we need to talk.

- I don't think it's possible. - I want to explain.

She can't just call me at home. Is she nuts?

- Well... - About last night...

- It's a burst vessel in the brain. - Are they calling from work?

- It could be a tumor. - We need to talk.

Our client's position makes that difficult.

Stop it! We need to...

This is utterly unacceptable.

So, he doesn't mix work and play on principle.

Finish your call, Frank.

That's right. You're welcome. Good bye.

She wanted to talk. What have I gotten into?

I shooed her away like a fly.

What else could I do? But what if she loves me?

- What if she kills herself...? - Answer Rosie's question!

- What question? - I asked you about law school.

Do they expel students that flunk a single exam?

No, not exactly...

I was offered the job of editor in chief for a major salary -

- including perks, but I turned them down.

I need to enjoy what I'm doing.

I need to feel happy and well-balanced.

Like when I met Lisa Söderberg...

What if she kills herself while I'm listening to a pathological liar -

- who claim to have taken a sauna with Sven-Bertil Taube?

I'm true to myself, and she said: "People like you are priceless."

- Hi, it's Frank. - Excuse me...

You mentioned that you are writing an article...

...about the media, isn't that right?

Forgive me for saying this, but I find you...

- ...extremely attractive. - Oh, thank you.

- What magazine...? - I just had to let you know.

You're very...

- Very attractive. I'm sorry. - Why are you apologizing?

I don't know. I don't want to give you the wrong impression.

You're an amazingly attractive woman.

- I love compliments. - You deserve more than that.

Gerhard knew all about the papers.

- Pardon me, but who is Gerhard? - My youngest paternal cousin.

He's married, but his brother Ragnar, the family trustee, is not.

I'm lost.

Do you really think I care about your paternal cousins?

- Do you need to hear it again? - No, it's all perfectly clear.

What if I were to...?

There's Torkel, Alice and Sofia.

Why would I do such a thing? To see his reaction.

It's Sofia! She must be in love with me.

She came here, after all!

She wants us to run off abroad together.

Then my wife said: "Isn't there something called breach of faith?"

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to turn up like this.

I needed to talk.

- I know you're married. - That's not a problem.

- What do you mean? - I'm not all that married...

I am married!

I'd better get a divorce so we can start a new life together.

How would I tell Nenne?

"It struck me that we shouldn't be married any more."

I can't do it, she would be devastated.

Maybe I could pretend to die in an accident?

I'd like you to meet Carl.

- This is Frank Pihlgren. - I'm Carl Molinder from Moventus.

"He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum..." Why a plum?

"He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum"

I guess it rhymes.

He's very sharp, one of our best minds.

He went to her on a cold spring evening.

They were drawn to each other by an undeniable magnetism...

What's wrong with me? I sound like I'm writing a novel.

We're just going to spend a nice evening together.

Fredrik and I are into role-playing.

Role-playing, huh?

He plays in a rock band.

- They're pretty good, actually. - We're pretty damn good.

I don't know if you're into music -

- but we play a kind of rock music that isn't ordinary rock.

We're special, we're sort of breaking new ground.

I can't say for sure, but my gut tells me what we're doing is real.

Our singer has a style all of his own. He's got stage presence.

Like when he sings "my eyes are bleeding," and points like this...

- You really feel his eyes bleeding. - That sounds super.

I can't find the "Backyard Babies" record.

I've missed you.

He won't stay much longer.

- Can you stay? - Not long, but for a while.

Good.

The shadow of your smile when you are gone

You can leave the light on.

- What the hell are you saying? - I'm in love with her.

- Take it easy. You're a married man. - So what?

Less than two weeks ago you were going on about your relationship.

But that was before I met Sofia.

I didn't know girls like her existed. She's changed my life.

My entire life has been a lie.

I'm going to give everything up.

She loves me for who I am, and I don't need anything else.

- Has Mr Billgren called? - Yes, he'll be dropping by later on.

- What's his problem? - Would you cool it?

His ears pop. He commutes twice a week to New York.

Have you talked things over with Nenne?

With Nenne?

"LIFE IS VERY SHORT COMPARED TO DEATH."

- You brought Robin. - It's my Sunday.

He wanted to see you.

So I figured we could have a fun day together.

- How are you doing, Robin? - Daddy's place was a mess.

So we had to come here instead.

- What are we going to do, Daddy? - Nothing.

- There's nothing to do here. - I guess not.

- Doesn't she have toys? - No.

- Why not? - Because no kids live here.

- Why not? - Be quiet.

- Well, we could... - When did Grandpa die?

- He died a long time ago. - A thousand years ago?

- Don't touch that! - It's all right.

Why don't we do something, what about going on an excursion?

An excursion?

He's so cute.

There's something kind of touching about him.

He's a grown man, but sometimes he's like a little boy.

- I have to tell you something. - Don't tell me he's married.

- Hasn't he told you that? - Of course he has.

- He did that right away. - He's very married.

I don't want you to get hurt or anything.

He may be interested in you now, but they've built a life together.

That's all right, then I know how things stand.

That's one way of looking at it.

Should you really be fooling around with married men?

Don't I have the right to be seduced and pampered?

- We'll just have to wait. - I don't want to wait.

- What about Robin? - What about him?

We could do it in the bathroom. Yes, we could.

What are you guys going to do in the bathroom?

I'll get you some paper and a pen so you can draw.

What are you guys doing in there?

- What's going on? - We'll be right out, Robin.

Weren't we supposed to go somewhere?

I thought you were going to draw pictures...

What a clever boy you are!

Too bad I don't have paints or you could have colored it in.

Don't you have any video tapes he can watch?

- No, all I have are workout tapes. - Put one on.

He'll watch any colorful piece of crap as long as it moves.

Georg, he's only six.

- This isn't a good idea. - Then ask somebody over for coffee.

- And we can sneak off and do it. - No, I can't do that.

Why should one miss out and never steal a tiny kiss?

It may be the sweetest kiss of a lifetime

Hi... No, we weren't doing anything in particular.

We were thinking about looking at material.

Coffee? That sounds nice.

When? Right away?

- Frank might not want coffee. - Yes, I do.

- How long is a dead person dead? - He takes lots of milk.

- I can speak for myself. - Didn't you have an ulcer?

- Just indigestion. - How long are you dead for?

- You're dead forever. - Will that be fine?

But what about a thousand years from now?

It makes no difference.

- I'll help myself to a cookie. - Hi, honey.

- Would you still be dead? - We have a neighbor. He's...

- What about a million years later? - Same thing.

Excuse me.

We have this neighbor who's always at it.

- It doesn't seem to bother him... - Start over from the beginning.

- We hear our neighbor... - Excuse me.

Rosie, could you give me a hand?

What can you hear?

- This man, you see... - Frank!

He does lots of silly things.

Life sure is short compared to death.

That's true.

TWO WEEKS LATER...

Are you going to work on a Saturday?

I was off yesterday.

I'm as disappointed as you are.

What would you do if you knew?

- Will you be gone all weekend? - No...

It never occurred to me I could be gone all weekend.

We decided to finish up -

- so we're going to spend the weekend at Peder's country place.

I'm just as disappointed as you are.

Kiss, kiss. Bye.

Some animals get turned on by the strangest things.

Baboons use their bright pink behinds as a sexual signal.

But that's not the same thing at all.

No, but animals do get turned on by the weirdest things.

Females do outrageous things to attract males.

I don't like that 'male' business, I see her with a gang of gorillas.

I once saw a TV show which showed that female beetles -

- were turned on by beetle males with big stingers.

The bigger, the better.

What if you had a giant stinger on your butt -

- that really turned me on?

A humdinger of a stinger!

- Like "I have to bag him"...! - Wouldn't that be a bit primitive?

Primitive's good...

What if Nenne saw me now? She might be cheating on me.

With three black men...

- What are you thinking about? - How much I like you.

What if I were deaf?

And I shouted like this all the time.

Would you still like me?

Can't we just spend the day in bed?

I could really go for croissants.

- What are you doing here? - What am I doing here?

Nothing in particular. I'm... working.

- What did you get? - Buns.

- The yummy kind? - They're ordinary.

Why am I lying? I'm sorry, I've got to run!

It's my turn!

- Frank is having an affair. - Hold your horses.

He's the last guy you'd picture doing something like that.

- The very last! - Calm down.

I have to tell Nenne, but how?

"Your husband is cheating on you." "Oh, would you like some coffee?"

You don't know for sure, do you?

I heard him call someone and I saw him with that bag of buns.

- It's my turn now, Daddy. - I've made it play the song.

That's what a top is for. It's a crappy top.

But it's my top.

He was obviously hiding something. What am I going to do?

- I just have to talk to Nenne. - What if you're wrong?

- I'm not. I've got to talk to Nenne. - How can you be so sure?

It's not like you saw him with somebody.

Can't we do something different today?

Why don't we behave like grownups?

And go to a museum?

Or do something that Robin likes.

Whatever for?

"That you take responsibility for causing my client inconvenience."

- Does the board approve the terms? - Could Nenne be on to me?

She's been asking a lot of questions lately.

What am I doing, lying and cheating like this?

I'm out of control. I might start taking drugs.

Maybe I've lost my sense of judgement.

I might just toss my briefcase into the water.

Why would I do such a thing?

- Did you throw the contracts away? - He needs help.

Are you fooling around? Give me those contracts!

Dive in and get them, then into the fireplace you go!

It would be an insane thing to do. When am I ever going to grow up?

- The real-estate agent? - He looked like a serial killer.

It doesn't usually show, though.

- Serial killers look normal. - This guy looked like a killer.

But serial killers don't look like killers.

They look normal.

That's what's so scary about them, it doesn't show.

Anybody could be a killer. Don't you ever think of that?

- Your boyfriend could be a killer. - You've got to be kidding.

I've got an hour. Let's say it takes 15 minutes to eat.

How long does sex take? 20 minutes should do it.

It takes ten minutes to get back.

That leaves ten minutes for foreplay.

I have something to tell you.

That's the difference between Sweden and the US:

- They have real serial killers. - We've had our share.

- They're not as specialized. - What do you mean?

Killers in the States specialize.

Some only kill prostitutes, others kill blacks or college students.

Our serial killers just kill people willy-nilly.

Why do the others specialize? Instead of killing at random?

- I guess they have a defect. - A defect?

- They have some sort of disorder. - Don't they all? Jeez!

I mean that they have some special kind of disorder.

What if Nenne walked in?

It's improbable, but it could happen.

Let's say she came to read the meters. You never know...

There is something I want to talk to you about.

If you knew a person was cheating -

- or if you suspected something was going on...

Would you talk to the person in question?

I'm not sure. I really don't know.

I'll take care of that customer.

"I HAVE TO PICK A PERSON ON THE ESCALATOR" -

- "AND SLEEP WITH THEM."

Is this supposed to be art?

It looks like a place for people to lay down and die.

You're so narrow-minded. They're ordinary hospital beds.

So that's what they are. I was wondering about that.

- People loved last Sunday's show. - Does anyone actually buy this junk?

Remember the coffee tables with embroidered incest motifs?

That's the best show I've had in years.

- Hello. - Hi, it's me.

- How are you doing? - I'm in Göteborg right now.

I'm on my way in to a meeting.

- Is it an overnight stay? - I'll be back by tomorrow night.

I'll go straight to work in the morning.

- So you're in Göteborg. - I'm staying over at Sofia's.

What the hell, Frank!

She never used to check up on me before. Never.

She's on to me!

Why did you say you were in Göteborg?

Help me out here!

I'll become a part of the show. Maybe a Japanese guy will buy me.

I heard that you had been admitted to a gallery.

When are you planning on returning to work?

Are you running a temperature?

How does it feel to be here?

You moron! You can't go on like this.

It's too risky.

- What do you mean? - It's risky to lie.

How about going out tonight?

Georg is busy tonight. He's going to a writer's conference.

I'm not up to it, I want to spend an evening at home.

What if someone sees you?

Sees me! Who would that be?

We're going to a tiny little restaurant on a poky side street.

Who would see me there?

I should talk more.

I should be sensitive. Girls go for that in a guy.

Gee, kids sure are cute!

My sister has a two-year-old.

I baby-sit her a lot. She's a doll!

But sometimes I get these compulsive thoughts.

I worry that I might drop her on purpose.

Or that I might throw her out the window.

I would never do such a thing, but those weird thoughts pop up.

- You have thoughts like that? - Sure, don't you?

Of course you do.

It's not like you'd actually do such things.

You look at your watch and think:

I've got to reach the top of the stairs before eight, or I'll die.

I thought I was the only one who did that.

Everybody does it, they just don't talk about it.

You'd look like a fool.

It's like how everybody goes around thinking about sex.

Don't pull that 'I am such an adult' act. Of course you do!

- It happens occasionally. - I do it every time I see a guy.

- I wonder if it will happen or not. - What do you mean?

If we're going to end up in bed.

- I thought everybody was like that. - Well...

All right, it happens that I have thoughts like that.

It happens?

- It's your turn. - To say what?

I'll pick a girl on the escalator going in the opposite direction.

And I'd have to sleep with her.

And maybe the first girl I see isn't all that fine -

- and I'll think: "Wait for a prettier girl to appear."

And only guys will be on the escalator.

Finally some fat, ugly woman will pass by -

- and I end up having to pick her.

I really need to talk to you.

May I come in? It's important.

I was just going to go to bed. Let's talk in the morning.

I'm so incredibly tired.

- This won't take a minute. - I'm not up to it.

- This is really important. - But I told you how I feel.

Sure, but it's...

We can't go on like this.

What did she want?

What did she want?

She knows something's up. Why else would she come here?

I have no idea...

But there's no reason you should go all neurotic on me.

You told me you were going to talk to her three weeks ago.

You were the one who told me not to tell her!

Christ, she'll be more upset with you than with me.

I'd like to ask you a question. Why do you like me?

You could have chosen anyone.

It's because you're you, and you're gorgeous.

- So you only want my body? - No!

I want you to want my body.

- Does that sound strange? - Yeah.

Slightly strange.

Listen...

You're the married one.

Think about it.

I have never been on your case.

It's just that I...

...want you so very much.

You want me?

Don't you think I want you?

It's not like I was the only one holding things back.

Nenne, we're in this together.

We need a place to live, an apartment of our own.

What about your inheritance?

I don't have access to the money yet.

The executor died, too.

Everything's just a big mess.

But you must realize that I feel jealous that you have sex with Rosie.

It was so humiliating to have coffee at your place and the two of you...

I didn't know she would call you.

What was I supposed to tell Rosie? "I can't fuck you right now."

"Because I'm having an affair... Because I love Nenne."

- I couldn't say that! - I can't see how you can do it...

You must realize that it was humiliating.

I could hear you going at it.

- Could you hear us? - Of course I could!

- You and Frank must fuck. - Not very often.

He has a weak sex drive.

I don't give a damn about Frank!

Don't you understand that I'm upset?

Won't you comfort me?

Sure.

Thanks.

Let me know if you need me.

He's so sweet.

He's thrilled that you're going to the zoo.

Call me if you need me.

Yeah, we'll call you. Bye.

There's some leftover cake.

- Would you like some? - No, I'll just have coffee.

That's wise, there's orange peel on it.

Peel is refuse and should go in the wastebasket.

But people use it to decorate cake.

What should we talk about?

Has anyone seen the movie "Show Me Love"?

I don't go to the movies very often.

I don't really enjoy going to the movies on my own.

- But my wife isn't interested. - I prefer to go on my own.

It's so embarrassing if you pick a movie that's no good.

I know what you mean. You feel ashamed.

As if you were the screenwriter, director and everything.

That's true.

Isn't it odd how your thoughts can run away with you?

You imagine the most amazing things that you would never tell a soul.

- Absolutely. - Lots of things.

Do you ever have thoughts like these on the escalator...

Do you know what I want?

I want us to die at the same time -

- and that you get to be really old.

How old?

At least a hundred years old.

Why is that?

I want us to die at the same time, then nobody has to be sad.

I didn't quite get that.

Would you have to sleep with them all?

Not really. It was...

- You might have other fantasies. - I think our coffee break is over.

- I was just thinking about you. - We need to talk, Frank.

Can we go somewhere?

The game is up.

- Will you be having a meal? - Yes.

- Follow me, please. - She knows everything.

Hi there!

- Are you going to have dinner here? - Yes, we are...

So, you're...

- I'm sorry? - What?

You made a humming noise.

Oh, that didn't mean anything in particular.

- These dolmar are delicious. - Yes. Excuse me.

The subject is interesting.

Our King Charles XII taught the Turks about them.

He exported it.

- Stuffed cabbage, that is. - I didn't know that.

I thought it was the other way around.

That the Turks introduced stuffed vine leaves to us.

Excuse me...

I need to go to the restroom, too.

- What the hell are you doing here? - What about you?

- We were hungry for God's sake. - I can't handle this kind of stuff!

- There's no way I can stay. - Would you calm down.

Who is that girl?

The one you have on the side?

She's...

What do you care?

Rosie, please don't tell Nenne.

She wouldn't understand. She would misunderstand it all.

Do you think so?

Sorry...

Hi, it's Frank. Rosie's on my case.

Then you have to have it out with Nenne.

It's better she hears it from you.

It makes you seem more honest.

I'm on my way to a very important meeting.

What about Frank? No, just stay calm.

- Look, Daddy! - I have to make a call.

They want me to be on a panel for a TV program.

Hi, honey.

That's too bad.

I have to talk to Sofia first.

Listen to me, it's the logical first step.

It's like when you move, you don't start by selling your flat.

You buy a new flat first, and then you sell the old one.

Listen to me, we're talking about your wife, not a flat.

No, this flat's on Stora Nygatan.

I might have another lead. A four-bedroom flat.

Please, Daddy, do it again.

So you think this is funny, do you?

Hello.

I'm sorry, we were just horsing around.

No, he's staying with me today, but I have a sitter for the evening.

I have to work.

What's that? No, tell me.

- Come on, Daddy! - He threatened you?

I just spoke my mind.

This is not going to work.

I'll have to do something.

"OH FRANK, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL."

We've received a reply from the Court of Appeal.

I'll propose to her immediately.

We'll go on a honeymoon to France, the Riviera, Italy...

She'll be lovely in a sheath, with her head wrapped in a scarf.

Why would she wear a scarf? Nobody wears scarves nowadays.

Why should things look like they do in my parents' photo album?

Maybe I'm conditioned to picture happiness that way.

"Oh Frank, you're absolutely wonderful."

Do you agree, Frank?

- Where's Robin? - We stopped by Rosie's shop.

He played there, and Rosie offered to fix him a snack.

- I thought it was a good idea. - You did?

Yes, we need to talk without Robin being around.

All right...

So he's at the shop right now.

Could you spare me a minute?

- Hi there! - How can I help you today?

- I would like some roses. - We have some lovely red ones.

- Did she like the tulips? - They were very nice...

- Where did the baby-sitter go? - I don't know.

- She told me she'd be back. - Can you read to me?

Open wide.

No problem, it's a black one.

Great! I'm amazing.

Yes, how about one more?

I'm going to figure out every last piece of candy.

I'll outsmart that damn bag. Wait a minute.

Fire away!

- That's easy, it's green. - You're wrong, it's pale yellow.

Damn it! Yellow, you say?

I never fail!

That's got to be a yellow one.

- Who's that? - Would you like some coffee?

- Who's that? - She's...

She's the baby-sitter.

Nenne - Kajsa.

She's great with kids.

I came here to tell you I found us a flat in Gamla Stan.

We've been through that.

I thought I told you...

The area reeks of urine and it's a real tourist trap.

We've fucked, that's all.

She doesn't mean anything to me, really.

You told me you loved me.

That you wanted us to have kids together.

And then I find you with this little tramp? Tell her to go!

She's on her way already.

I'll tell Rosie!

- You're cheating on Rosie! - A little...

She's upset.

Yeah, because he tricked her.

You cheating dog, you!

You're nothing but a bastard!

- Take it easy. - You bastard!

I've been trying to get rid of her, so cool it.

I was just horny, that's all.

She's only the sitter, it's not like she's important. She was just a lay.

"What's going on?"

"Rip! Gulp!"

"Ow!"

They're fighting.

Look, he got a boo-boo!

"Sproink!"

You're a...

We're through!

- Here you go. - For me?

- I have a class to go to. - I know.

- Is all this for me? - Come here.

Don't shower me with gifts. It makes me uncomfortable.

- We have something to celebrate. - We do?

I hope so.

Would you marry me?

I'm sorry.

How the hell could you do such an incredibly stupid thing?

Get up out of that bed.

It's already been sold to a German for two hundred thousand.

Didn't you realize she'd turn you down?

I thought we loved each other.

She's 24 years old and you've only known each other a couple of weeks.

- Nearly a month. - Whatever.

- You scared her off. - Why would that scare her?

What am I going to do?

It's hopeless...

- I can't go on like before. - No, that would be difficult.

I screwed up.

How the hell could I be so stupid?

Answer my question first.

- What question? - How the hell could you be so stupid?

- What's happened? - You see...

I've been thinking things over.

How I've...

I want to tell you, I have to tell you that I've been...

...a liar.

And things got messy when the sitter was here.

I'll tell you the whole story later on.

I promise.

Here's a little guy who really misses his dad.

How are you doing?

Why don't we...

...drop everything and do something fun?

- I figured maybe the zoo. - That would be great!

Let's go. I know the guy who runs the place.

We won't have to pay.

How should I put this? We've had our ups and downs lately.

I agree, but now we're back on track.

We know what we want... We do.

When you say you were growing apart -

- can you explain what you mean?

Did either of you find someone else?

- No, no! - No, not at all.

But you were considering getting a divorce?

- Absolutely not! - It never went that far.

- We just started to grow... - ...grow apart.

We've decided to really give our relationship a chance.

We're going to clear the air and move on.

We have a strong foundation to build on, our love.

And we're going to be totally honest with each other.

- I love you. - I love you too.

That sounds like the best starting point you could possibly have.

It's amazing that we're back together again.

I love Nenne more than anything.

We're headed for a great life together.

I'm glad we switched therapists. The new one's mature.

She seems so safe, experienced, and...

She looks horny.

THE END

Translation: Ingrid Eng-Rundlöw Subtitling International

Subtitle preparing for DVD Satellittext@Euromail.se