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1
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,240
Let the trial commence.
2
00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:02,700
First, we will hear the case for the
prosecution.
3
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:08,100
You shall not know. These are British
scum who should be killed now and
4
00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:15,860
Well, I've listened to the pros and cons
of the case and the complex legal
5
00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:17,360
arguments on both sides.
6
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,280
My task is not an easy one.
7
00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:24,280
On the one hand, my...
8
00:01:25,230 --> 00:01:27,570
Legal friend says they should die
slowly.
9
00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:35,070
And on the other... Well,
10
00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:40,270
in the light of these new circumstances,
I
11
00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:44,310
sentence you both to be beaten to death.
12
00:01:45,970 --> 00:01:50,930
Do the British spies have anything to
say before sentence is carried out?
13
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:52,190
Yes, I do.
14
00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:54,110
Speak.
15
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,660
Well, I'm not a top British spy.
16
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:04,160
I'm not a top British anything, really.
My name is Stanley Rawlings.
17
00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:09,100
I'm a driver for Stanton Security
Services.
18
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:12,020
Trust is everything in my job.
19
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,760
I wouldn't even nick a biro, never mind
four million quid.
20
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,940
But I did it because of Francis.
21
00:02:19,860 --> 00:02:21,200
So what happened then?
22
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,300
We got caught and sentenced to 30 years
in Dartmoor Prison.
23
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,540
But we managed to escape.
24
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,540
And that's when we headed for Heathrow
Airport.
25
00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:47,800
I'm so nervous. This is the most
security conscious airport in the world.
26
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:49,900
What do we do? Drollo?
27
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:54,440
Look, it's very simple, Stan. When we
get to the gate, just say something
28
00:02:54,580 --> 00:02:58,100
Cor blimey, guv, these Japs eat a lot of
ice cream, don't they, mate?
29
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,960
Nobody says cor blimey any more these
days, brollo.
30
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,520
Well, whatever gauntlet slang you're
happy with.
31
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,100
Cor blimey, guv.
32
00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:10,420
Cor blimey, guv. These ice cream... No,
what was it?
33
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:12,700
Oh, nurse.
34
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,920
Cor blimey, guv. Those ice cream.
35
00:03:20,430 --> 00:03:21,430
What do I do now?
36
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:34,130
Are you sure you know how to play one of
your things, mate?
37
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:36,010
Oh, yeah, I'll put a test in one.
38
00:03:36,270 --> 00:03:38,590
Of course, that was for my first break,
though.
39
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,590
It's all the same thing. It's just a
flick and a couple of pedals.
40
00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:44,710
We were going to die.
41
00:03:45,070 --> 00:03:48,350
That was for certain. But you don't
think of that when you're in love.
42
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:53,310
especially when the one you love is 12
,000 miles away, her precious life at
43
00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:55,330
mercy of those cruel beasts of war.
44
00:03:55,890 --> 00:03:57,990
Well, that's what I thought.
45
00:03:58,870 --> 00:04:01,890
Actually, she was out birdwatching. Can
you see the nest?
46
00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:03,590
It's about ten foot below.
47
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,400
Which there isn't.
48
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,460
And if there isn't one?
49
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:45,320
Which there won't be.
50
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,460
Ladies and gentlemen, we have just
landed at Heathrow Catport.
51
00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:52,260
I'm changing crews here, so I'll come up
after the crew and myself, Captain
52
00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:56,220
Lips. May I wish you a very pleasant
onward journey to...
53
00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:43,870
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Captain Cook welcoming you
54
00:06:44,790 --> 00:06:49,190
We'll be taking off shortly for our
destination abroad and we'll be flying
55
00:06:49,190 --> 00:06:51,190
high and jolly fast.
56
00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:52,670
Thank you.
57
00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:56,610
Cabin doors to Manuel, please.
58
00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:07,270
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard
this flight. The crew will now
59
00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:08,730
the safety features on the plane.
60
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:13,260
There are seven emergency exits which
are clearly marked. One in the upstairs
61
00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:18,460
lounge and six in the main cabin. Two in
first class, two over each wing and two
62
00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:19,460
at the rear of the cabin.
63
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,220
The life jackets are stored under your
seat.
64
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:26,840
Please watch carefully as the cabin crew
will now demonstrate how to put them
65
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:27,779
on.
66
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,980
First, put the life jacket over your
head.
67
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:35,420
Cross the two ties behind your back and
then secure at the front.
68
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,000
Hello, Air Traffic Control.
69
00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:56,820
We've got an RSVP on the winker and our
BAT -69 is at 11 to 1 and stable. Over.
70
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:05,480
Uh, sorry. I can't
71
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,940
find reverse.
72
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:08,760
Try again.
73
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:18,720
BAT. BAT. Come on, let's turn on a bit.
BAT. That's it.
74
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,710
BAT. Keep going. Plenty of room.
75
00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:23,650
Keep going. Keep going. Left a bit.
Stop.
76
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,270
I'll go forward.
77
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:27,870
Ginger, do not open.
78
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:54,050
Hello, Air Traffic Control, this is Zero
Delta Tango, standing by, ready for
79
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,050
takeoff.
80
00:08:58,010 --> 00:09:02,410
Zero Delta Tango, I am speaking to
Captain Donaldson on time.
81
00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:12,870
Hello, Air Traffic Control, this is
Captain Donaldson. I'm so sorry about
82
00:09:12,870 --> 00:09:13,870
confusion just now.
83
00:09:14,310 --> 00:09:17,910
We just had Princess Michael up here on
the flight deck, and I'm afraid I was
84
00:09:17,910 --> 00:09:18,910
rather showing off.
85
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,000
But Mira Culper, abject apologies.
86
00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:25,640
We're all tickety -boo and ready for
takeoff.
87
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:31,280
Come on, Heathrow. We've got 15 flights
here from Malacca stacked up over
88
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,280
Purley.
89
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,940
Zero Oscar Tango is cleared for takeoff.
90
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:42,960
Well, this is it, Max.
91
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,460
We're all in your hands now.
92
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:42,519
Excuse me.
93
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:43,520
Excuse me.
94
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,820
I can't eat this.
95
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:47,640
Why? What's wrong with it?
96
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:49,460
You taste it.
97
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,360
No.
98
00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:58,300
Disgusting.
99
00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:00,260
Well, I must eat something. I'm very
hungry.
100
00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:01,620
You have something else?
101
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:03,180
Oh, right.
102
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,640
I'll see what else there is. Okay. Well,
of course.
103
00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:08,780
Tickle that.
104
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:16,370
I'll have a Bloody Mary.
105
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:18,970
You've only got Bloody Lark, yeah?
106
00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:38,730
I want a Jack.
107
00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:40,490
When's it my turn?
108
00:11:41,770 --> 00:11:43,790
Um, well, okay, Billy.
109
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,540
Just keep her steady and don't touch any
of these.
110
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:51,720
Ah.
111
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:53,880
Uh -huh.
112
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,040
Oh, it smells so good.
113
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,180
Yes, it does. Can I have the same?
114
00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:02,760
What? Me too, please. No garlic.
115
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,800
I'll have the same with garlic.
116
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,820
Can I have some mushrooms with it too,
please?
117
00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:33,060
Mary?
118
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,200
Max?
119
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:37,259
How are you?
120
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:38,260
I'm fine.
121
00:12:38,820 --> 00:12:41,400
I thought you were in prison. Well, I
was, but we got out.
122
00:12:41,940 --> 00:12:43,560
What are you doing in this plane, then?
123
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,680
I've decided to see my sister in
Vancouver and maybe start a new life.
124
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,980
Oh, don't tell the other passengers, but
this plane isn't going to Vancouver.
125
00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:55,200
It's going to the Falkland Island.
126
00:12:57,660 --> 00:12:58,840
Now I'm going to talk to the captain.
127
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:00,420
Mary.
128
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,200
I am the captain.
129
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:04,520
Oh, my God, we're all going to die.
130
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,200
It's our chance to die again, Mary,
isn't it, eh?
131
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,240
Fallen Islands.
132
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,380
You've always wanted sheep, haven't you?
133
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,500
I mean, it's a chance to start again,
just you and me.
134
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:45,120
This is your captain speaking.
135
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:47,720
Breathe through your oxygen mask.
136
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,020
That's what I'm talking about. That's
what I'm talking about.
137
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:03,860
It is.
138
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,300
I'm sure it is.
139
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:06,780
Look.
140
00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:09,720
Certainly looks like it.
141
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,600
This is it, isn't it?
142
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,440
It's the Falklands.
143
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:27,480
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. This
is Captain Donald Duck here.
144
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,880
We're about to land, so please don't
look down.
145
00:16:15,329 --> 00:16:19,490
So, if Billy and I aren't back in three
hours, you'll come and look for us. You
146
00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:20,490
couldn't rely on it, Stan.
147
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,049
Good luck.
148
00:16:22,050 --> 00:16:23,050
All the best, Stan.
149
00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:02,210
I don't like the look of this, Billy.
150
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:03,610
Look, look!
151
00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:09,890
Francis?
152
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:13,030
Oh, Stan, I'm so happy you're here.
153
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,609
It's okay, Stan's here.
154
00:17:16,890 --> 00:17:17,890
Where are they?
155
00:17:17,990 --> 00:17:20,010
Who? The arches!
156
00:17:21,550 --> 00:17:23,490
Look, Stan, there's something I've got
to explain to you.
157
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:27,690
France, I mean, Sir Cathy, was insanely
jealous, you see.
158
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:31,710
And when she found out that, in fact,
you preferred me in the photograph, then
159
00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:35,030
she went berserk and started fantasising
crazy things about Argentinian
160
00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:37,770
soldiers. So there are no Argies?
161
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,390
Well, where's the mad mouse you are now?
162
00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:46,950
Well, you see, the night before last,
she ran out of this hut screaming in
163
00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:48,930
Argentinian and simply...
164
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:51,510
She threw herself over the cliff.
165
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:57,160
Hello, you're still alive. I thought
you'd be dead by now.
166
00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:58,380
Help me!
167
00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,520
Help me!
168
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:00,680
Help me!
169
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:06,040
Oh, actually, before you go, the most
amazing thing has happened. Your
170
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,100
has turned up.
171
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:12,140
He's come to rescue you from all those
cruel Argentinian soldiers.
172
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,040
Stan!
173
00:19:14,580 --> 00:19:17,080
My goodness, this thing's so heavy. No!
174
00:19:51,870 --> 00:19:54,770
Why don't you try and eat some of this,
Humbert?
175
00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:15,930
I'm, um, looking for some toothpaste.
176
00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:18,350
I haven't brushed my teeth for a week.
177
00:20:38,150 --> 00:20:39,590
What's my call sign?
178
00:20:41,430 --> 00:20:43,010
Um, seven...
179
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:45,800
You're not Frances, are you?
180
00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:47,060
No, I'm not.
181
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,780
I'm not Cathy, either.
182
00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:55,100
If you're so keen on blonde, then why
don't you take this one?
183
00:21:20,910 --> 00:21:21,910
Sons of spin!
184
00:21:47,570 --> 00:21:49,730
You've done so well, my little...
185
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,760
of death.
186
00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:59,920
First, we captured the island
undercover, thanks to the courage of our
187
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:04,640
agent here, who has done so much for the
flesh's cause in Argentina.
188
00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:08,200
Long live General Calciere!
189
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,480
Hold on. Hold on, Francis.
190
00:22:31,220 --> 00:22:32,220
I can't.
191
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,340
I'm coming. I'm coming.
192
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,360
Stretch.
193
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,000
I can't.
194
00:22:39,220 --> 00:22:40,240
Grab my foot.
195
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,520
Now, see if you can climb up me.
196
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,640
Now, don't let go of my underpants,
whatever you do.
197
00:22:56,860 --> 00:22:57,860
I won't.
198
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,380
I'm so glad to see you.
199
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,760
And that's how it happened.
200
00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:37,000
I didn't come here to cause any trouble
or anything or upset anybody.
201
00:23:37,540 --> 00:23:42,000
I came here because, well, because I
love Francis.
202
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,440
I've no idea who's got the most right to
these islands.
203
00:23:46,730 --> 00:23:48,530
I don't know why we can't all live here.
204
00:23:49,270 --> 00:23:50,490
They're nice, these islands.
205
00:23:51,770 --> 00:23:53,070
Peaceful, by the sea.
206
00:23:54,530 --> 00:23:57,990
If I wasn't going to die, I'd like to
have got hold of one of those stone huts
207
00:23:57,990 --> 00:23:58,990
up there.
208
00:23:59,070 --> 00:24:00,490
Could be nice done up there.
209
00:24:00,930 --> 00:24:02,930
Crazy paving, double glazing.
210
00:24:03,270 --> 00:24:06,990
Your Worship, my clients have changed
their plea.
211
00:24:07,770 --> 00:24:09,550
They want to be kicked to death.
212
00:24:13,290 --> 00:24:16,510
So, Stan, you came all this way looking
for...
213
00:24:16,730 --> 00:24:18,850
Love and crazy paving.
214
00:24:19,430 --> 00:24:22,990
And all you found was crazy death.
215
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:24,880
for me, my darling.
216
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:01,200
They're back, so -called South Atlantic
raiders, who robbed a bank in the
217
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:05,480
Midlands to finance a bazaar to support
them in search of two missing British
218
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,860
girls. The Home Secretary has just made
this statement.
219
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,440
In the light of the courage and bravery
that these poor men showed of preventing
220
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:18,120
what could have been a major attack by
the Argentine forces, I've decided,
221
00:26:18,260 --> 00:26:23,640
therefore, that their 30 -year prison
sentence should be reduced to one year
222
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:24,640
an easy prison.
16913
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