Original subtitles

You're not taking my car, Scorpov. You know that, right?

Of course not.

Where is Pavel Korkov?

What has he done?

He's stolen two million dollars from the devil.

I called the cops. They're on their way. They can't stop it, neither.

You touch her again. This is death.

Are you done yet?

Love?

Love?

Paradise could freeze over before other insurance providers settle your claim.

We give you the help you need when you need it.

We also offer snake bite insurance.

We can't book the church.

We can't shop for the caterer. We can't do the guest list or the invite.

We can't... Shut up.

Pick the bridesmaid's gowns. I mean, seriously, Lou, you've got to pick a

wedding date.

A wedding takes a lot of planning. Orlando and I, we had a year. Still

enough time.

Teresa, I already told you I don't want a big wedding like yours.

So what was wrong with my wedding? Hey, hey.

Where are you going?

I've got to go get my paycheck.

No way.

Look, there's nothing in the account. I'll only be an hour, I swear.

I hate you.

I know.

Ew.

Is he the problem?

Cold feet?

Where's Orlando?

He said he'd help.

Yeah, well, Porto's playing.

You know, my wedding day was the happiest day of my life.

Why would you criticize it?

So how often do you hit the gym? Four, five times a week?

I wish.

You know the hours I'm working, Mr. Pound.

Well, you're doing something right.

You got your checkbook ready, Catherine?

I left it in the car.

Will Paskin, my articling student, meet Catherine, my ex.

The first one. I just got off the phone with Brad, Jay. I gather the marriage is

off. Quote, he's a congenital liar and a philandering bastard.

Unquote. We're here to finalize my client's settlement. Ms. Scott, let's do

on point, shall we?

Absolutely.

Jim, park here.

Come on.

Give me a break, please.

The handy spot's flushed out.

Hey, just let him park. The lot's full.

Whatever. How you doing, Mr.

DeRossi? That's good recall. I'm impressed.

Hey, give me a hand with the wife.

Sweetheart, you remember our insurance adjuster, Jimmy?

Vern, how you doing, Mr. Ross?

Okay, don't drop her. I'm not insured.

You're a funny, funny man, Danny.

Watch your head, sweetheart.

All right, on one, two, and three.

Ah, thank you. All the lawyers from our case upstairs?

Your claim's not still open.

They're going to finalize the settlement today. Mr. Pound, he called us in. Do

you know him?

I'm embarrassed.

It really took this long for it to come full and final?

Come on, it could have been worse.

It's only a year.

In fact, almost to the day of my darling's accident.

You should buy a cake.

Hey, you mind giving me a hand with this stuff?

There was never any rail here?

Not in my shitty lifetime.

How long are you going to be?

Oh, I'm almost done.

I'm sorry to intrude.

They're all sorry.

The landlord, the contractor screwing up, the building inspector for missing

They're all sorry, but where's the money I need to look after her?

Oops.

Sorry, right?

This one's called love, I think.

I hate it.

This is where she fell, huh?

Yes, Mr. Asshole. This is where my wife fell.

Screwing the brains out of her circus act.

Right here.

Right here.

Get the hell out of here!

You gotta laugh.

You doing okay these days?

Time heals.

You gotta turn tragedy into a sitcom if you want to stay sane.

You got that?

All right, darling.

Here we go.

Where has Pavel Korkov gone with all her lovely money?

I told you, I don't know.

Burn his ass again.

Let me fire you.

What a tragedy.

But honestly, how the hell did you break your spine having sex?

She didn't use protection.

I can't eat any more of your shitty sandwiches, Catherine. How many damn

-downs we got to have?

It's already, what, eight, nine already this year.

I may be an underpaid, unappreciated city of Hamilton lawyer, but there's got

be a way we can close this.

We settled the guy who died easy enough.

Yeah, yeah, it's simple. Put your hand in your pocket, hold on to your wallet,

Carl. Yeah, well, sadly, Catherine, our wallet's the only thing you've ever had

in your pocket. Okay, Jay.

Hey, look, I'm the good guy here. All I want is the best financial package

possible for a paraplegic woman who needs it. And that would also be the

financial package possible for you, wouldn't it, Jay? Oh, did you go pro

You know, I've never really been a big U2 fan.

Let me take a turn at simple for you, shall I? Now, what's holding us back,

Carl, is A, Mr. Pound's unreasonable demands, and B, our own inability to get

our clients to divide damages among them. Yes, protected for the landlord,

Carl, you for the building inspection department, and Raja for the contractor.

Raja doesn't even come anymore. He missed the last two of these. Then we

on without him. Now, my notes here remind me that the city was willing to

% of the original settlement.

That's still true, Carl.

More like 20. The city's hurting.

Help me watch the dogs chase their tails, young pup.

May I remind you, too, that I have a three o 'clock?

Is there anything you want, girl?

Is that a trick question?

What, are you moving in here?

No, sometimes she has these attacks, but she can't breathe, and I gotta take the

oxygen tank everywhere.

Still living at that loft?

Nope, too impractical.

Too haunted, you mean. We're living in assisted housing, but once we get our

money, we'll buy our house. She can roll around in, right, sweetheart?

No, when my money comes in, I'll buy you your divorce, sweetheart.

Isn't she great?

Hey, can you get accounting to hustle with my paycheck? I'm off today.

Thank you.

I got a hustle after a meeting.

We're moving house today. My girlfriend will kill me if I don't get back soon.

Oh, I know the feeling, brother. Thank you.

So how are you going to hold up your end of the child care?

Same as always, Catherine.

I did everything for you. I will handle it.

Mr. Pound, your clients are here.

I think you took their parking spot.

Rossi? Good luck.

Stay and see us get our money.

Mr. Rossi, how may I help you?

So, is our money good to go?

Look, this is an involved process. You hired me to be your advocate, all right?

Let's let the... And I'd like to make a point on that very point, Mr. Advocate.

No, you have to make an appointment.

Okay.

You feel like a cuckold? Danny, what the hell are you doing?

Leave. Okay? All I want are all the lawyers, Mr. COO, and my asshole

there, okay?

The rest of you, get out.

Go on.

Is this because of us? No.

This is because of me.

you do for insurance before the cop you're picking guy liar you have the

of an adjuster like mr asshole move leave him alone i know that voice i know

that voice i know that voice hello protected mr burn isn't in hello

miss scott is unavailable oh yes oh yes mrs arasi i've taken a message no

go get out of here go get out of here

Okay, you, I need you to lock the door so no one gets out. Go on.

Go!

You.

You, young man. Yes, you. You, come here.

Come here. Come here. Come here. I need you to reconsider your satanic career

path. Do something worthwhile. Get out of here. Go.

Go.

Okay, go on.

Go. The rest of you!

Get those calculators humming. We've got work to do.

Work, work, work, work.

Is he crazy?

No, he's an artist.

Very nice.

That's very good. Let's go.

Let's go.

Work, you two assholes.

You two.

Okay?

Go work.

The one year of a living hell. We are finally going to reach closure in Sonia

DeRossi. You're boring me, Danny.

Can we go home? Whatever your grievances are, maybe we can just sit down. Yeah,

yeah.

Like my wife. Go ahead. Okay.

You, Mr. Photocopy Guy, come here.

Come here. I want you to set up the webcam and the rest of my stuff over

Come on.

Just bring it over there. Danny?

And if you got a problem with how I handled your claim, we can talk about

you and me.

All right? But she has a seven -year -old kid. Yeah, I know that. With him,

advocate. I know. I've done my research, Mr. Ray.

But I'm afraid that my grievance is a bit bigger than you.

Look, the police are coming, Mr. Rosso. As your lawyer, I advise you... Well,

you at least get my name right!

Who cares if the cops are coming, okay?

They can see the show on www .unprotected .b .s .com.

Mr. Coo.

Mr. Asshole. I want you to tie the lawyers to their swivel chairs tight

their legs like my wife.

You're a prick. Yes, I am. But some hell or high water, honey, they're going to

know what it's like to be a cripple. What about the other three? What are

going to know? What it's like to be a martyred husband?

Close enough.

Around the leg.

There's nothing personal, Gorgia. Nothing personal, okay?

All I need is to put this gas hose into your colon and ask you a few questions.

That's it.

Okay, listen.

At first, it's going to feel like bad constipation. But then when pressure

rises... Blood vessels in your large intestine will start to burst.

That's it.

Well, we're going to talk, all right? Okay.

It wasn't me. It wasn't us, I swear.

Someone else must have helped him.

Who? All right.

Insurance.

He must have had insurance help.

How else could he have gotten the phony policy on the dealership?

Very good.

Cool.

Papa, he's a dirty shit.

at Unprotected Insurance, where I, Danny Rossi, am having a very good day after

a very, very bad year.

Three of our guests are wheelchair -bound, like my beautiful wife.

And three are their long -suffering caregivers.

You can quit any time. You can just walk away.

That would be my beautiful wife.

We're going to come to closure for her today.

Now, I've had a long time to study up on how insurance doesn't work, and I know

we need to figure out three simple things before my dear heart gets her

One, how much money should they give?

Two, how do we divide up the percentages, i .e., which of these

what? And three, the big one, which asshole in the room is most to blame?

Time's a -ticking. Start with money.

As if you ever made any.

Couldn't even get a goddamn arts grant.

That's exactly right. You were the breadwinner.

Okay? So, take out your calculators and your actuarial tables and figure out

loss of income, loss of children, loss of conjugal privileges.

What privilege?

He couldn't even get it up at the best of times. Irrelevant.

Irrelevant. They're just going to come up with a statistical average. We're

playing the blame game here, darling.

And the first thing they need to do is decide how much you are worth.

You remember that, Mr. Asshole?

I gotta tell you, I'm not really comfortable doing this without you

lawyer, Mr.

Taurasi.

I don't want a lawyer. I want this over as quickly as possible.

I've already got bills.

It's gonna take lottery -sized money to look after her, just to ask you

questions. Okay.

All right, then let's start with income.

How much would you say your wife made last year?

About a hundred grand. She was doing a show in Vegas most of the year.

Danny? Just hold on a second, sweetheart.

And how long...

Would you estimate her career could have been?

She's amazing.

Forever.

Do you have a ballpark figure?

Ten years.

Daniel, I need you now.

Forever. I pissed myself, asshole. Are you happy?

Just give me a couple seconds.

Someone much wiser than me said. He said to borrow any lower, Don.

This artist, he said, a cynic knows the price of everything and the value of

nothing.

They put a price tag on everything.

They don't know shit.

Before you give me your numbers, you take a look at this.

Where are you going, honey? Away from you.

Away from this shit.

That performance.

What is she worth? What is she worth?

What is that worth?

Hmm?

How do you put a price tag on that?

Zero. Oh, you've got balls, sister.

Go to hell.

4 .5 mil, that sounds like a lot.

You try looking after a woman for 50 years on that. Plus, I've got to give my

advocates cut, right? I've got to pay you.

Back off, tough guy.

Oh, yeah.

The Hammer's shitty in -house lawyer is a lowballer.

Son of a bitch.

Mr. Coop, push him out of the boardroom, please.

What the hell are you doing?

What? No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, please, come on. No, come on, come on, come on.

Please, please, no, please, stop.

Shame on you.

Oh, come on.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please.

Go ahead, in the bathroom. No, no, no, no.

Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.

Bring him in here.

Bring him in here and I'll back off.

What do we do?

What do we do?

We rule.

How, Dick?

I got... I got his keys from his bag. That's good for one or two.

Who gets the thing? I've got a better idea.

Dine has a... has a... has a stun gun in her desk.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Hey.

I'm not going to let him hurt you, okay?

Okay?

Nothing bad.

Nothing bad.

Round one is over.

On to round two.

But first, move out of the boardroom. Move. Come on. Come out here.

Sniper will be looking for a shot.

Dick. What?

Is Di's gun still charged?

I don't know. I haven't seen her use it on anyone in quite a while.

Just don't, Dick. Don't touch me.

Two. What?

Come here.

Come here, Mr. Koo.

Oh. Come here.

Rapid response, Mr. Koo.

Don't be an asshole, asshole. I'm watching you.

It takes a very careless caregiver to lose his cripple.

He's very, very disappointed.

Get in there.

Do you believe in God, Mr. Cree?

Jimmy, what are you doing?

Shh.

He's in your office.

Now, I want you to sit there.

Sit there in quiet and think about how you failed him.

Think about your sin!

Did somebody do it?

Stupid.

Put that down.

You put it down right there. Right there.

And walk away from it.

Hands down.

Don't you know insurance heroes are an oxymoron? Jimmy!

He's going to be okay.

You understand?

Nothing bad.

I thought Jimmy was coming back.

Linda would pull the same stunt.

What is this?

Jimmy.

Are you sure? Because it looks like a girl.

Oh! Why? You don't want to see pictures of his ex -girlfriends?

No. Lisa, I said leave it. Okay, fine.

Ooh, she's exotic.

African. And now Portuguese.

Hey, let's see if we can find a hot Asian in here.

Stop it.

Okay. God, we're just having fun.

Sorry I'm late.

Sorry I'm late.

Look who I brought.

Hey. Lucia? Teresa?

by the church and the good father insisted on helping out where's jimmy i

know get up you think i get time off

you get me a coffee black two sugars

you want one sweetheart

This is the percentage round.

The two remaining lawyers have got to divide up the portions that the three

guilty bastards have got to pay.

The landlord, the contractor, the building inspector.

Now, this is the hard part.

But... The two lawyers used to be married.

Married couples always have an easy time coming to agreement. You're the

asshole, Danny.

You got five minutes.

Go.

I don't know. I don't remember what cost. You said 20%. I think we should go

40%.

Dead right now, but I'm not. Man, I'm alive.

I've never felt so alive.

I've got to get out of here. I can't stay. They're still in there. Big. Yeah,

but I rolled.

What did you do? You rolled.

I rolled.

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Awesome.

You come with me, Mr. Paco.

Man for protected mug.

Go ahead.

You're not working hard enough, Mr. and Mrs. Lawyer. Come on, come on, come on,

come on. What do you think, you're billing me by the hour? You can't argue

percentage until we've established blame, okay? It's basic litigation.

Who's responsible to what degree? That's what you hired me for, Mr. Roxy.

Keep emotion out of this, not this.

This is bullshit.

Listen to Mr.

Reason over Passion.

Stop it, Danny.

Don't you know there's no reason for what happened to my wife? It's all

It's all good luck or bad.

And you are the lucky winner.

What are you doing? Stop!

I'm the one that's going to get you your money!

I'm sorry!

Stop pissing me off, asshole.

You bastard.

You goddamn bastard.

If you touch her, you're dead.

Is this love, I think?

I'm so sorry.

He didn't put you in that chair. You did.

Go careful, Mr. Asshole.

Because love is dangerous.

Okay, listen up out there. This is the big one. This is very exciting.

We're going back to the conference room for the final round.

The big one, people.

Blame.

So who here is most to blame?

Thank you for your help, Father.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

Think about what we talked about.

You know, marriage is always a leap of faith, so if you and Jimmy are ready...

Thank you.

See you tonight at 7, right?

Yeah.

Boy.

What's this?

It's nothing.

Arlindo and I are just, um, we're just seeing him for some counseling.

That's all.

Marriage?

Yeah.

Teresa, why are you so keen on me having a big wedding if you and Arlindo are...

Because.

We have to go to Jimmy's work. There's been some trouble.

What? What trouble? Get your coat. Come on, let's go.

You hate me so much? Will you stop talking like a crazy person?

It's not about the money, Danny.

Or them.

This is about me.

The fact that you can't stand the sight of me.

You can't stand living with me. You can't stand thinking about me with Eric.

Shut your mouth.

Pardon my dear wifey's delay, so I ask you again.

Who in this room is the most guilty?

You are, Mr. Asshole.

Excuse me?

Yeah.

That's right.

What do you think you're doing?

Look.

There, you see that?

I'm Jimmy Byrne, Mr. Miles. I just started here.

You got a minute?

Okay, make it quick.

I got this loft sex accident file.

A what?

It's a claim.

Now, I took this at the loft next door. It's the same contractor, same landlord,

metal guardrail firmly in place.

This is the loft where the woman fell. See, no guardrail. But the guy swears

there never was one.

But here.

Shit, that's butt ugly. What the hell am I looking at? The guy's some kind of

artist. Does that look like a piece of guardrail to you?

See, I think he took it down and used it in this crap and is trying to hide it.

I get it. I'd be showing all this crap to our in -house mascot.

Yeah, yeah, I did. She wouldn't have it. She's too busy.

Okay, fine. Then you move on. Put it all in her inbox.

Go to your next claim.

Well, yeah, but... Still here?

Listen to me.

If you're looking for the truth, you're in the wrong goddamn business. This is

insurance.

Not the goddamn priesthood, so... Why don't you let God Affairs of God work it

out, okay?

You used the guardrail to make your shitty artwork.

What was that called?

Love, I think.

And then you tried to hide it for money.

Because you felt so guilty. Shut the hell up, okay?

A word of truth at last.

You think I didn't notice, Danny?

I'm a paraplegic, sweetheart. I'm not blind.

Just don't say anything. They're going to take it out of your money. No, no,

it won't.

It won't. You see, even if you admit to a degree of culpability, it won't affect

your settlement.

It might even speed it up.

That's madness.

I'm not going to let them cheat you.

Do you have a shot? Over.

No, not without endangering the hostages. Hold the shot.

Repeat, hold the shot. You do not shoot the handicapped. Excuse me.

Excuse me. I need to know my husband's in there, please.

Hold him back.

Hey, stay. Where you going? Where you going?

Stop. Stop. No.

Stop!

I'm gonna go and get the other lawyers. Maybe we can wrap this up before the

cops come in.

For your wife's sake, Mr. Asshole.

They're dead.

No.

I don't think so.

I think...

This is just a sad sack performance like she said.

Well, sure, you shot down the leaderboard, but you've done shit since

could have shot Popple, but you didn't, Danny.

Why?

Why?

Because you got red -shelled and you got blue -shelled.

And right now, you're all blue.

You sure about that?

I'll take my chances.

No, Jimmy, don't!

Stop! I said stop!

Give me that. Here.

Sweetheart, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that.

You want to leave me, Danny? Go ahead and leave me. But don't do this. Don't

turn my loss into some pathetic piece of your art.

Is that what you think this is?

This is about you and me, Danny. Yes, I'm guilty.

Okay? I slept with Eric.

More than one husband, and I... I loved it.

I loved it. Do you hear me? I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. Go ahead.

Go ahead.

Do it.

You okay, counselors?

Stay here, okay?

Stay here.

They're okay.

It's a fake.

Hey, don't go dumb on me, dummy.

Red is real.

Okay? Read it for real.

So don't go anywhere out there.

We're gonna cut to the finale.

Oh, what? You're playing Jesus now?

You think you're Mel Gibson?

Stop it.

Stop it. I'm trying to get you your money.

Danny? Danny?

Danny? I want you to know that I loved this woman.

I love her still.

I only came here to get her what she needs.

What she deserves.

If you want to stay safe, don't fall in love.

Daddy! Daddy!

Do you have a shot? Over.

Asshole, don't die.

Don't die.

Don't you leave me.

professional services, but they are no longer required.

Sit. Sit with your friends.

You look like three ugly monks who've done something bad to a nun.

But we are all victims here of Pavel Korko.

Yaro knows you are innocent.

It's not a lie.

But someone has to pay Yaro the three million dollars stolen from him.

Interest, too.

And that someone is you three ugly monks.

And you, too, my beauty.

She I like.

You I don't.

I'm so afraid I thought I lost you.

It's okay.

I'm okay. I'm fine.

I want to set a date, Jimmy.

Right now, I'm sure of it. Slow down.

No, I'm sure.

No more thinking.

I want to leap with you.

So when do we jump?

A month. A month? Luke, that's crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy.

We're crazy.