Original subtitles

So you can put down the toss and cut up the fish.

But don't, yeah, don't, don't knock the twist.

Don't knock the twist. Pull down the cha -cha.

Burn up the lid.

But don't, yeah, don't, don't knock the twist.

Don't knock the twist. Don't knock, holly golly, knock.

with.

I'd like to see, boy, America on the move.

Well, if that's America, Chief, I sure don't recognize the coastline.

Progress, boy, progress.

That's what the twist is. New ideas, new dances, new comedy, new faces.

America's always moving forward.

And a TV network has to do the same.

Ah, but, Chief... Watch the screen, son.

You know what you were looking at?

Yeah, I got the girl's message okay. At 12 o 'clock dance time on SBS, modern,

up to the minute.

Today it was the Spice Island group.

Tomorrow it'll be some other hot twist outfit.

Ted Boy, I may not be president of the GBC network long, and you may not be

of special programming long.

If SBS gets out of the barrier first...

Oh, Herb, the twist of the fad. Look, we're starting a long -range program,

the fad will be over before we can get our feet wet. Fad.

Why, women haven't had so much fun doing things with their hips since they wore

bustles. So we'll get Hinkley Brunkley to do the twist on the news broadcast.

You have one month.

Four weeks today, we are going to present a 90 -minute twist spectacular.

A spectacular?

In four weeks?

August 28th.

That's not enough time.

Why four weeks?

Because on September 15th, FBS is going to kick off their fall season with a

twist spectacular.

And we'll beat them by about two weeks.

But, Herb, four weeks. Move fast. Put on your roller skates.

Line up the best acts around if you have to borrow, beg, or steal.

Or develop new ones.

But get that show ready.

And if you need help, get it.

Don't worry about the expense.

Do I have time for the barber?

Well, you don't need a shave, boy.

No, I want him to cut my throat.

twisting leg, man, or you're out of business.

I'll go right into bankruptcy, that's for sure.

Hey, you're making jokes, but you ain't feeling them.

Well, I got troubles, Chubb. What's the matter?

90 minutes of it.

I'm gonna need your help.

Have you been doing favors for each other for a long time, you know?

Yeah, but this one's liable to strain our relationship a little. Oh, yeah?

Exactly four weeks, one skinny little month, I've got to stage an hour and a

half twist spectacular.

Wow, that's a big order. What are you going to do?

Chubb, you know all the acts circulating around the country. Maybe you can help

me latch on to a few.

This twist stuff is a blast right now, Ted. You know that. All the good, good,

good acts are booked.

They're doing that big FBS show in September.

You too?

I turned on a network show.

I've got a corporate date and recordings in September.

But August, I'm your boy.

I'll just forget that vacation I was going to take.

Oh, no, I couldn't let you do that, Chubb.

It's all right. Don't worry about it. Who needs resting, sleeping, and eating?

Eating?

Look, Ted, I don't mind being called chubby, but not fat, though.

Man, I'm gonna owe you a pocket full of favors.

Hey, how about the Carroll brothers? I can give a fast pitch for your show.

You can put the clinch on them tonight.

I'll be here.

Good. I'll save you a table. Hey, uh, for two, huh?

The same gal?

Mm -hmm.

Dorothy Corbin.

I sure don't see who else.

Okay, table for two.

Thanks, Chuck. See you later. All right.

My latest creation comes under neither the Rome nor the Madrid influence.

You will notice the soft drape across the body.

And the lovely, clean stone.

And for those very special formal occasions, I have used what I call after

flames.

The back interest gives it a great deal of dignity and

yet movement.

That concludes my latest fall and winter fashions. I can only hope that you as

editors of the world's leading fashion magazines have found my offerings worthy

of your critical approval.

Thank you.

Thank you, Dulcie. Good night.

Helen.

The truth.

Unvarnished. Naked.

Dulcie, how can I say it?

Try using words.

All right.

They're dull.

Smart without being inspired.

Pretty without being startling.

Revealing without being sensational.

In plain words, they were larvae. Darling, you simply must shock today.

Your design's a good year -in, year -out creation, but women want something new.

They have to be jolted out of their complacency. Shock, dear.

Shock, that's the word.

Play a tune that women will follow. Be a Pied Piper playing his magic music.

Do you want a fashion designer or a Benny Goodman?

Dulce, you asked for the unvarnished truth.

I'm sorry, Helen.

Try not to be too hard on me in your review.

I'll be vague, darling.

That always leads to guessing.

Bye.

It's Corbin.

Yes, Amy, what is it? It's Mr. Haver on the phone. He's been hanging on five

minutes waiting to talk to you.

All right.

Yes, Ted, what is it?

Hey, you sound like I owe you money or something.

What's the matter, baby? I forget to tell you that you look beautiful?

I'm sorry, dear. It's not you at all, but...

It's been a miserable day.

My new line is going to be panned by the fashion magazines.

I'm a nervous wreck.

That's rough.

Hey, I tell you what, there's nothing better for the nerves than a couple of

hours of twisting.

How about the Spice Islands for dinner?

And I may have a little surprise for you.

I'm just beat, Ted.

I'm not up to all that violent... The twist.

Of course, the twist.

Oh, darling, I love you. Pick me up at eight.

Bye.

Is something wrong?

Amy, I want the girls to work overtime tonight.

The rush order?

The rushes.

I want this gown finished by seven o 'clock.

Phew, this must be something special.

Shock them, she said.

Shock them and play magic music.

Is that what it's going to be like?

Even more so.

You're going to put it on or paint it on.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, my good friends, the Dovelles, are going to keep

the pot boiling with the Bristol Stomp while I take five to rejuvenate my

vitamins.

And now, the dazzling Dovelles.

The kids in Bristol are sharp as a pistol when they do the Bristol stuff.

Really something when they join is jumping when they do the Bristol stuff.

oh, oh, they're spinning every Friday night.

They dance the greatest and they do it right.

But it's the latest crazy sight to see. The kids in Bristol are sharp as a

pistol.

We'll be right back.

beautifully done by Vic Dana.

Oh,

let me hear you pray.

Little altar boy, I wonder could you ask our

Lord.

Ask him, altar boy, to take my sins away.

altar boy oh let me hear you pray

lift up your

voice

I wonder,

could you pray for me?

Could you tell our Lord I'm gonna change?

holy like you little altar

boy

don't have anything on under it.

Of course I have, darling.

Just enough.

Why, it don't be Corbin.

How did she ever get into that?

She'd better never take a deep breath.

Well, if you're joining us, George, have a seat.

What are you trying to do, win an award for the best undressed woman of the

year?

Do the twist.

Do you

want

to know something?

I'm going to propose to you tonight.

Now I don't know whether to propose to you or proposition.

When in doubt, darling, proposition.

They're playing our song.

You're not going to twist the mat.

But of course I am.

I designed this gown especially for Tristan.

Now, no inhibitions, darling.

I want an honest effort.

I can say this. If she's a famous designer, she must have designs on every

in the place.

You're so right.

Well,

aren't you going to sit down?

You can't propose to a girl standing up.

Just relax, darling.

This is no night to talk about anything as serious as marriage.

Well, what night is? You always seem to have something else to talk about.

Well, you just relax.

I'm going to the powder room. This is the payoff.

Payoff? Just watch.

I don't know about you, dear, but I simply must powder my nose.

What, again?

I think I've just got Dulce's message.

Hi, Ted.

Hi, Vic. Pull up a chair.

Say, that galley here sure blew up a storm tonight.

Yeah, and all the weather reports aren't in yet.

Tell me something.

Do you always get the big parade to the powder room after one of those twist

workouts? Oh, lots of the girls go to the machine shop for repairs.

But I never saw anything like tonight.

Hey, Chubby tells me you're lining up a big show for the end of August.

Biggest money can buy.

Think you can make it? Well, when you said money, you said the magic word.

But I'll tell you this.

My agent will be rough.

See, I have dates for August that'll have to be switched.

And he already turned down the FBS special.

Well, Vic, we want top talent. We're ready to pay for it.

Well, Chubby gave me a big pitch this morning. And any friend of Chubb's is a

friend of mine.

We'll try to work it out.

Thanks. Helped a lot.

My gal's coming back.

Okay, Ted.

Anytime you're ready, just get in touch with my agent. Will do.

How was the payoff?

Those little bright lights on my eyes?

They're dollar signs.

Their trip to the dressing room was worth $6 ,400.

$6 ,400?

Eight new gowns, designed especially for twisting, at $800 apiece.

Money, money, money.

It's exquisite, darling.

All of those fat, juicy little dollar signs.

I just love them.

Dulce?

You and money are carrying on the greatest love affairs with Napoleon and

Josephine. Do you think you have the right to be angry, too?

I don't know.

I thought maybe this gave me the right.

I guess I was wrong.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know.

It's beautiful.

It's an engagement ring in case you're interested.

Marriage is such a big step, Ted.

Well, it's bigger than a bread box, that's for sure.

My business takes up so much of my time, I... All right, skip it.

Ted, I... Dulce, I wanted this date tonight to really be something.

All you wanted was the chance to sell a few dresses.

You know, I should have known I couldn't make a wife out of a fast buck kid in

one easy lesson.

We're both fast buck kids.

That's one of the big things we've had in common.

That's why we've lasted together so long, Ted.

I don't get religion on me.

Ah, Dulce, forget it.

You know, my mistake was thinking about you as Dulce rather than Dulce

Incorporated.

I'll tell you what.

How about spending the weekend with me at my place at the lake?

That'll give us two whole days to talk about marriage.

Maybe I'll take that ring then.

Well, Herb Walcott'll have my head for not worrying about the show over the

weekend.

I guess if you can risk your third finger left hand, I can risk my head,

Well, why'd you want to stop here?

You drive on out to the lodge, darling.

I want to talk to Joe Albright, the fellow that looks after things for me up

here. Well, can't that wait?

We need food, and Joe will help me shop and then drive me out.

It'll save time that way.

Well, all right.

Don't take too long. A lot of talking to do.

Nothing else, but... I promise, not one word about business.

Just us.

I like the Mountain Dew.

That's fine, Wally.

Mrs. Corman.

Hi, Joe.

See you later, Joe.

Surprised? I sure am.

You don't hardly ever get up here in the summer.

Are you giving up water skiing?

Oh, no.

This is something special.

Mr. Haver's with me.

Oh? Where is he?

Well, he went to open up the lodge.

Was something wrong?

No. No, only... Well, I'd have done it for you.

Well, we can go shopping, and then you can drive me up later.

All right, glad to.

I'll get the car.

Oh, Joe, have the Emersons come up yet this summer?

They wouldn't miss it.

Well, would you mind mentioning to them casually that I'm here?

Sure will, Miss Corbin.

Beeping Ted.

No, you don't understand. I'm Ted Haver. I'm a television man.

Oh, you are? Well, the set doesn't need fixing.

You don't understand. I'm with the GBC television network.

Look, my identification.

Look, the Eat Now, Pay Later Club.

The Surgical Operation of the Month Club.

That's a good one. You have three operations. You get the fourth one free.

How about this? A credit card for getting credit cards. And all of them

name on it.

Peeping Ted Haver of the GBC television network.

What do you think?

I don't know. He sounds like some kind of a nut.

But he looks harmless.

Come on, open the window, will you? I have to talk to you.

Come on, open the window.

Boy, you two don't take any chances, do you?

What are you doing in the Corbin house, anyway?

I don't believe that's any of your business.

Maybe not, but it might be yours.

Miss Corbin will be here any minute. Oh, no.

Holy cow.

Well, we were just rehearsing here. Miss Corbin has the best stereo set in town.

And besides, nobody ever uses it. Rehearsing?

Rehearsing for what? Who are you, anyway?

I'm Madge Albright. My father manages this place for Miss Corbin. This is my

brother, Billy. Yeah, we were just going over our dance, but tonight we weren't

hurting anything.

Well, I don't feel flipper lit if she catches you here, you know, I think you

better get out while you still can You mean you won't tell her cross my heart

hope to die chief. Thanks. Mr. Come on, sir I'm sorry for calling you a peeping

Tom.

That's all right.

Besides the way you look I'm thinking about becoming one. Hey, come on By

mistake. Yeah, are you gonna get back our cars around the back?

Oh

Hello, Madge. Hi, Pop.

Where's Billy?

He had to take some stuff over to the hall for tonight.

How come you weren't over at the Corbin place?

We were.

Good thing that Mr. Haver got there first.

He found you there?

He promised he wouldn't tell Miss Corbin.

Well, I hope he's the kind that can keep a promise.

Oh, he is.

Well, how do you know so much about him?

Really, Daddy?

Don't you think I can tell an honest face when I see one?

Honest? Huh.

Why, him and that Dolphy Corbin spend the weekend together.

Alone. He is?

I mean, they are?

They keep talking about marriage, but you ask me, that's all it is. Just talk.

Well, I still think he has an honest faith.

Don't you go getting ideas about fellas like that, young lady.

Do you think I get ideas about every honest faith I see?

No, I don't know.

I think some honest faith is getting some pretty fancy ideas about you.

You just stay away from... women.

Thanks, Pop.

What for?

For realizing I'm a woman.

Well, I'm ready to start talking about... You're working.

Please, Dad, no theatrics.

I know I promised to forget about business while we're up here, but, well,

all these ideas when I was driving up with Joe, and I just simply had to put

them down before I forget them.

Dulcy, what kind of astute do you take me for?

There you go.

Over -dramatizing.

Isn't it enough that you're the only man I care to be with?

A man is just a convenience to you.

The only thing you really care to be with is your bank book.

Well, at least I don't ask some man to support me.

Is that all marriage means to you?

I didn't mean it that way. It's just that... Please try to be reasonable.

What happened the other night at the Spice Island Club gave me the idea.

A whole line of twist outfits.

Not just to count like I wore the other night, but twist outfits for every kind

of occasion.

It's the answer to the criticism I'm going to get from the critics.

Oh, please, Ted.

I've worked so hard at my business, I... I just can't let them ruin me.

And... After dinner, and we can talk, and all day tomorrow.

Dorothy.

I'll get it.

Well, Ruth, how nice of you to call.

No, we're just here for the weekend.

Tonight?

Oh, I'm sure we can make it.

Yes, but we'll see you there.

Bye.

Darling, it was Ruth Emerson.

How'd she know we were here?

I'm sure I don't know.

There are no secrets in a small town, you know that.

They've invited us to a dance tonight.

Dance? Well, I thought we were going to stay in... Ruth says the dance is up

here, really, something.

Some of the youngsters get together and they put on a show that... Did you tell

Ruth we'd go?

Well, of course. Why miss it?

We can still talk.

Yeah, a real private conversation.

Here, baby.

You hold it.

When you're ready to wear it, let me know.

The kids come every Saturday night and have a marvelous time. Oh, good, we're

just in time for the show.

Don't tell me that's Jo Albright's little mag.

Little? She's only little in the right place, sir. And those pants look good,

the way capri pants should.

If you were wearing contact lenses, they'd be all steamed up.

Huh? Oh.

You know that

girl's as good as a pro.

Hey, fella, what's the name of that crazy dancer doing?

Mashed potatoes, man.

Where you been?

Look at that girl go.

Now, I bet she never had a lot.

Just doing what comes naturally.

The way she uses her body.

Yes, yes, Ted, you're right.

Darling, I'm a genius.

Well, it takes one to know one.

Oh, to be sensational.

Those these incorporated would be the talk of the industry.

Business again?

Oh, but it's for both of us, darling.

When the dance is over, I simply must talk to that girl.

Now, wait a minute. She's wonderful.

Just right.

I tell you, Joe, your daughter will be a star overnight.

I know how corny it sounds, but nobody ever had a promotion like Madge again.

Now, let me get this straight, Miss Corbin.

You want Madge to be the dulce girl.

That's right.

She'll have an immediate identity for the public.

And then once she's learned to do this, uh, this twist dance, why, she'd make a

lot of appearances always wearing new stuff you design.

That's right.

She'd not only sell herself, but she'd sell my dress.

and I'll put her under personal contract at a guaranteed salary.

Well, why me, Miss Corbin? You must have lots of models working for you already.

I want someone new, Madge. A face and figure that hasn't been used by every

designer in the industry.

Someone fresh, like yourself.

A modern girl for modern dresses.

It could also be that she's a terrific dancer, not just a clothes horse, right?

Right. And that's where you come in, my darling.

You want something to set up your TV spectacular big?

Fine, you'll have it.

The Dorsey girl.

And you know how big an audience you'll have of women who want to see the new

twist fashions.

You know something? You're right.

Herb Walcott will grab at this idea.

Mr. Albright, Madge, this can be a tremendous opportunity.

Opportunity for what, Mr. Haver?

Maybe Madge doesn't want a life like that.

Dad's right.

Look, I told you, Mr. Haver, the only reason we put on a show every Saturday

night is to raise money for the summer orphanage camp.

Dancing isn't our business.

How much money do you raise for that orphanage over a summer?

Oh, $1 ,400, $1 ,500.

Suppose I told you that you can give them ten times that amount if you wanted

to. Ten times?

Holy cow!

Look, I can get Chubby Checker up here to help build a spectacular around you.

How about it, Madge? We work on this together?

Well, would it all work out just like you say? I mean about the orphanage and

everything? I promise you that.

And would all the kids go to dance in the show?

If they want to go to New York, I can use them all.

All right.

Dad, I want to do it.

Fabulous. Yeah, fabulous.

Simply fabulous.

Madge will never regret it.

I'm going to leave for New York in the morning, draw up the contracts, start

working on your new costumes.

Ted, you and Chubby start teaching Madge and the kids some of the quick

routines. We can get started immediately.

Just like Cinderella.

Yeah, Cinderella in tight pants.

Okay, you set up the arrangements.

Holy cow, New York.

The Dulce Girl.

Long may she wave.

last time was smooth, loose, and easy.

I'm so loose I could fall apart.

Yeah, real easy.

Listen, maybe I could tell you something to make you feel better.

How would you kids like to do a dress rehearsal of that last number at your

Saturday night dance?

Now, wait a minute.

And how would you like it if the GBC network donated $1 ,000 to your orphan's

camp? Oh, Mr. Hamer, that's wonderful.

Maybe you should have made it $2 ,000. Miss Corp might object.

Okay, kids, Saturday night.

contact. Well, little Miss Wibblehips is all mine.

But when is the all -right girl coming down here for fittings? We have so

time. But she'll be here when we need her.

This says, when I say jump, she jumps.

Well, as soon as you give us the last two designs, we can finish up the whole

line. Relax, Amy.

Why don't you sharpen up your needles?

You don't seem afraid to leave Mr. Haver up in the mountains with Nature Girl?

Afraid?

I have dead eating out of my hand.

The way to keep a man, Amy, is to keep saying no.

Until he meets someone who starts saying yes.

Hey, Chubb, it's 2 .30 in the morning. How come you're still up? Still up? Who

can sleep the way the phone's been ringing around here?

What's the matter? Somebody's house burning?

Uh -uh, but a couple of people are.

Madge's father and Dulcy Corbin. Ooh, take them in order.

Madge's father kept calling because you kept Madge out so late. What happened?

Just on a date. She's no kid.

To him, she is.

And Dulcy sure didn't believe you out rehearsing all that time.

Yeah, what'd she want?

Well...

She says we've got to bring Madge to New York right away for costume fittings or

the stuff will never be ready on time.

Well, back to the rat race.

Madge will be going with you, Ted.

Is it showing me, Chubb?

I mean, the way I feel about Madge.

You know something, Ted? The only time I've ever seen you happy was when she

around. No kidding.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I'm just beginning to realize that.

Oh, hey, did you tell Dulce about the Salome costume?

Ah, that's your department.

She's not going to like it.

There'll be a couple of things she won't like.

Salome costume?

Salome? Are you talking about that cotton -picking wench that did the dance

the seven veils and walked around with her head on a tray?

I am.

Well, you can put the tray away.

I'm not designing any outfits I can't sell.

And the Salome costume went out of style a few thousand years ago.

Come on, Dulce. We've built up a big Salome production number for the finale.

All we're trying to do is show that Salome did a version of the twist in

days. It seems to me you're making a choice, Ted.

You seem more interested in promoting Mads than my dresses.

I'll be silly.

Just what kind of magic did that little witch practice up at Magic Lake?

Look, Dulce, she's a decent kid.

Why? Because she dances on Saturday night to make money for an orphan's

Yeah, maybe that's part of it. You know, it's nice finding out there are people

in the world who don't go to bed every night praying, Dear Lord, please don't

let anything happen to Fort Knox till I get mine.

Little Miss Swivelhip.

Sugar and spice and everything nice.

Dulcy, you're sick.

You seem pretty sure of yourself.

I'll design the Salome costume.

Well, that was a quick switch.

What's the matter? You have a sudden attack of conscience?

I never do anything I'm sorry for.

You still want a match for your fashion show next week?

Of course.

All right, we'll get our routines ready.

In case you're interested, you left the switch open.

I didn't miss a word.

It makes no difference, Amy.

Do you mind if I ask you why you decided to do this loamy outfit?

Have you ever seen a man with his dream castles pulled down over his ears?

I don't drink.

Should be a most edifying sight.

Let's see how Mr. Haver looks that way.

Have the invitations for the fashion show been sent out yet?

They're going out tonight.

Well, be sure you send one to Mrs. Arnold Morrison.

Morrison? The one whose husband owns the FBS network?

That's right.

You want her to see Madge? She might find out what Mr. Hayward's network is

to, and... That would be a pity, wouldn't it?

Hiya, Ted.

Hi, Vic.

Vic, meet Madge Albright. Very happy to meet you. Vic Dana?

I have your records. They're wonderful.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

I guess you know why I'm here, huh?

Yes, and it's all set for me to be on your show.

In fact, my agent will probably call you in the morning.

Thanks, Vic. That's going to help a lot.

Well, I'm glad we could work it out.

Hey, are you going to hang around?

Gene Chandler's going to sing Duke of Earl in about a minute.

Sure. Good, then we'll see you both later.

I guess you kind of shook him up.

He's used to seeing me here with Dulcy.

With her making me wear all Delphi dresses now, I feel like she's still

Well, she isn't, Madge, in any sense. So forget her, huh?

I walk through this world.

Nothing can stop me. You

are my girl.

And no one can hurt you. Oh no.

Yes I.

Dutchess of air We'll walk through my

dukedom And the paradise we will share

I could slow dance after all that rehearsing.

If you hold me up.

My pleasure.

I had a blow -up with Dulcy.

Oh? Over the salami costume.

She may try to take it out on you, Madge.

Why?

I don't know. Maybe she's beginning to realize how I feel about you.

How do you feel?

And I like your...

Father will never have to worry about it again the rest of his life.

For hours.

Say, that fashion show's tomorrow.

Madge, don't let Dulcy tell you any fears while you're in there.

She's tough.

Stop at nothing.

Oh, Ted, now that I know how you feel about me, she can't hurt me.

Nothing can.

And now we come to that part of the show I know you've all been waiting for.

The new twist fashion.

I call our little presentation A Girl's Life.

And you will see twist fashions for every occasion.

First you will see my boy meets girl capri twit suit.

And then will be my boy dates girl swimsuit for twisting.

And next will be, as it should be, my boy marries girl twist outfit for

reception.

And last, and for the most charming of all occasions, My Boy Honeymoon's Girl.

Twist fashions for people who want to be alone together.

All depicted for you by the Dulce Girl and Billy.

Boy date girl.

Boy, now I'm girl.

Roy Hunnam's girl.

My dear, what perfectly ravishing conception, these twist fashions.

young, so full of vitality.

That's the whole idea, Mrs. Morrison.

They're meant to make a girl feel even girlier.

And that dancer, why, she was so, so fluid.

Did you really like her?

I have her under contract, you know. Under contract?

Why, you're positively prophetic.

That girl could be a star.

In that case, I'm lucky your husband didn't discover her first.

Yes.

Yes, that's true.

When she's ready, I think I might put her on some television shows.

Not on GBC.

Well, I... If you don't introduce her on my husband's network, I... Do you think

I'd risk losing my very best customer?

Tulsi?

I see no reason why she shouldn't appear on the big SBS show in September.

Why, she'd be just right.

Oh, September.

I don't know.

We have so many other obligations.

Oh, my dear.

SBS has a great deal of money.

I think they can afford to make you forget those obligations.

I might be able to get out of them.

I should know in the next day or two.

My husband will be in touch with you.

Mr. Haver called again.

About the tsunami costume?

Uh -huh. They're having a dress rehearsal in the morning and they need

Well, call Mr. Haver and tell him he'll be there by ten.

You still serious about sending over that costume?

Of course I am.

The sensors will blow a fuse, Miss Corbin. I wear more than that when I

bath. Just see that the costume is there by ten.

Get me John Ackerman on the phone.

He's the editor of the Morning Bulletin. The editor, yes, ma 'am.

Mr. Ackerman on two, Miss Corbin.

Hello, John?

Dorsey?

How are you?

No, darling, this has nothing to do with fashion.

It's about all those censorship for television editorials you've been

those lusciously vitriolic blasts at violence and sex on TV.

Oh, I know the government feels that way, too, and so do I.

That's why I want to be patriotic and tell you there's going to be a divine,

utterly divine blast at GBC tomorrow morning at 10.

Yes, during rehearsal in Studio B.

How do I know?

Darling, I'm practically underwriting it.

You just send a reporter and photographer to Studio B at 10 o 'clock.

I'm sure you'll get some simply scandalous material for your editorials.

Oh, you're entirely welcome.

Yes, darling.

See you soon.

Bye.

No, no, Harry.

Number one camera moves in first. Number two holds position.

Hey, Chubb, that's the only costume to get here yet.

Not that I know of.

Delphi promised me she'd be here at 10 o 'clock.

Well, I hope she's not pulling anything.

Don't worry. If she says it's going to be here, it'll be here.

Who are those guys?

Hey, I know them. Guys from the Bulletin.

Bulletin? Yeah.

The newspaper's been wrapping TV, hasn't it?

Yeah. I wonder what they're doing sniffing around here.

Quiet. Quiet on the set. Everybody simmer down.

Chubb, I'd better watch this number.

Hey, where's Madge?

In the dressing room waiting for the costume.

When it gets here, will you make sure she gets it?

Okay. Thanks.

The messenger just got here with the salami outfit. I sent him on the

Thanks, Chuck.

I think the boss was kind. Where's the big explosion that was supposed to

happen? I don't see anything that could even light a fuse.

Hi, baby. How's the costume?

Well, I'm not sure.

You ready, Madge?

Uh, yes.

Okay, everybody on stage for the salami twist number.

Salami twist?

Maybe he means salami twist. A new kind of a sandwich.

Mads, is that the outfit?

I thought it was a little too daring, but... Daring?

You'll get the whole network raided. Somebody just lit the fuse. Grab one.

Hey, you with the camera!

Come on, stop those guys!

Take it easy, Ted. You can't stop them by getting rough.

Oh, Ted, I'm sorry.

It's all right, baby. They wouldn't have been here in the first place and let

someone tip them off.

And I think I know who.

Corbin, please.

Dulcy Ted.

Well, darling, how did you like the costume?

Or had poor little Madge caught cold in it already? I hope.

Look, what kind of an idiotic trick was that anyway?

Dulcy, what do you have to gain?

You know we'll only have to get a new costume or add about ten yards of

to that one.

You dare change one stitch of that costume or put Madge in a new one and

yanking her off the show.

Are you crazy? We built the whole show around her.

Sure, I know that's my worry. The censors are my worry, too.

Look, what do you want, the FCC to cancel the show? Is that what you're

I don't think the FCC will get a chance to, darling.

Your sponsors will probably cancel it after they see the morning bulletin.

Ah, she has us by the fetlocks, Teddy boy, by the veritable fetlocks.

Only horses have fetlocks.

All right, all right. But if we were horses, she'd have us by the fetlocks.

I think we're both blowing our lids. A nervous breakdown is a luxury you can't

afford. Put your mind to work, boy. Think, think.

The only thing I can think of is twisting Dulcy's neck with one of her

outfits. Well, there has to be an answer. There has to be.

Oh, there are three of them.

One, we wait for the morning bulletin to come out and blast us. Two, we start

packing the things in our desk.

Three, I'll see you at the unemployment office.

And I'm quite sure, Mrs. Morrison, that nothing will stand in the way of Madge

Albright appearing on your husband's show in September.

Without that horrible Salome costume, of course. Excellent.

I'll have my husband draw up the contracts and you'll have them within a

days.

Wasn't that a simply terrible thing that happened at the GBC network?

Just awful.

It seems almost incredible that they allowed such a silly thing to occur.

It's beyond me.

Well... One man's meat is another man's poison.

And if you're smart, the other fellow always gets the poison. Right, Mrs.

Morrison? How true.

You will have my order for three new dresses at your outrageous prices in the

morning. Au revoir. Au revoir.

On the double.

What? On the double.

Well, what's all this?

Ted, this is Mr. Fullerton and the Defense Committee.

The Defense Committee?

Well, I realize the administration in Washington is a little young, but...

It's impossible.

Well, Mr. Fullerton, the committee came down from the orphan summer camp at

Magic Lake.

Oh.

Hi, kid. How's it going?

Mr. Haver, in memory of the fine work you did for us, we, the members of the

summer camp, have formed a committee representing the entire body to come to

your defense.

Oh, well, I think that's... I haven't finished.

I'm sorry.

We also wish to come to the defense of our loyal supporter, Miss Albright.

whom we know could never overstep the bounds of decency, like that old

said.

The children voted to send the committee down here, Mr. Ava. We all want to

help.

Help? Well, you can save our lives.

Herb, this is it.

That's what comes from casting bread upon the water.

Or do unto others as you would have... Okay, okay, I know those bits.

Do you think you could stick around long enough for me to get the newspaper

people here?

Not that mean old morning bulletin.

Everyone but, honey. Of course we'll stay, Mr. Haven.

Thank you.

Well, won't you all be seated?

Excuse me.

What do you want? Mr. Morrison's on the phone. He sounds very angry. Well, tell

him I've gone to China.

Yes, ma 'am. Red China or Nationalist China?

baby

She's gonna lose the seven bales. She's gonna lose the seven bales.

One bale, two bales. Dropped on the floor, cha -ba -da -ba -da -ba -three

Four bales, the boys were yelling more. Ching -a -ching -a -ching -a -five

bales. Six bales, the king was keeping score.

Then suddenly, the lonely stopped. The king said she was mean.

So that she could be the queen.

So that she could be the queen. Tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink.

tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink.

And she gave it to the happy king on the happy wedding day.

Cha -cha!