Original subtitles

Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

Hey, you can't park there.

It's for the commissioner.

Get that German bucket out of here.

No. Whoa, Joe, no.

Don't move an inch.

That vehicle's exactly where it belongs.

Look at it.

I'm in love.

It's all yours, commissioner.

Thanks.

No problem.

Look at that automata.

Only three and four tenths of a mile. Will you look at this baby?

And it's much more affordable than you'd think.

Cars ought to have names, not numbers.

It's for Rachel.

Oh, she's going to flip.

I secretly put away for months for the down payment.

A Continental, that's a car.

5 ,000 ZX, that's that's algebra.

I even made up a special tape for the occasion.

Tunes for cruising.

String of pearls.

Walking my baby back home. Summer wind.

What? No beer hall poker?

You make me feel so young.

You make me feel... You and I are just like a couple of

tots.

Running across the meadow.

It's okay.

There's always a defect in these new cars.

Let's just hope it's only the tape that... Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh!

Oh, no!

I just got this car today, not yesterday, not tomorrow, today.

I just got this car.

I knew eventually it would get dinged, but today?

Don't worry. My insurance will take care of it. I'm sorry, man.

All right.

Let's exchange license numbers and insurance.

Exchange this.

Get your hands up. Back up. Move.

Yeah.

I took my tape.

No,

no, no.

That's cheating.

You're cheating.

You're cheating.

You're cheating.

Orderly Richards.

What is this?

It's all over the floor in the back corner.

That's a violation.

And did you happen to notice...

Patient Thompson gave his medication to patient Tooley this morning.

No, I didn't think so.

Are you with the hospital?

They keep you out of the loop, do they, Richard?

I'm the inspector for the New York Department of Health, Dr. Alan Zalas.

Oh, yes, now you remember.

Dr. Zalas.

He was supposed to show up at nine, but I surprised you.

And I'm here at eight, and I'm going to eat you for breakfast.

I didn't give you such a scathing report.

Okay. I sense some hostility.

What? No, no.

It's fine, Richards. It's healthy to work out these feelings.

If you're hostile toward me, say you're hostile toward me.

I'm hostile toward you.

Then how am I supposed to talk to you?

Buzz me through to Dr. Weber's office.

Excuse me, doctor.

Good morning. I'm Dr. Alan Zell at the Department of Health. I'm here to

the facility.

Look what they did to it.

Take the clean.

Kind of like what a school of piranha can do to a cow.

Why did they do this?

Why didn't they just steal the whole car?

The parts. They can get three times what the car is worth for the parts.

They even took my tape.

Dispatch to X -ray 7.

Respond.

Well, honey, it was a beauty.

It handled like a dream the half a mile I drove it.

Don't worry, honey. We can get another one.

Shouldn't the insurance cover it?

Maybe not all of it.

And our rates might go up, but damn it.

This was your present.

Can I sit in it?

They took the seats.

Oh, I have a good imagination.

Okay, that's it. I want these guys.

Help.

Tony.

I'm all right. I'm all right.

I guess I'm just a little sore from getting rear -ended.

Maybe you should go see a doctor.

Yeah, there's a bunch of them needs to see you at the mental hospital.

He walked right out disguised as a state health inspector.

He was gone three hours before anyone realized it. I mean, it must have taken

him months to put together this plan.

You say this patient has done this type of thing before.

Arlo Mano is a pathological imposter. I mean, the best.

He's passed for a national parks ranger, a Caesars Palace pit boss. He was a

secret service agent for President Bush.

Arlo has lobbied for the timber industry.

He took seven shots on goal for the Nordique. He's lectured law at Harvard,

he thanked his family for their support when he won an Emmy.

How does he do it?

Arlo's sickness is his genius.

He's learned how to exploit our faceless world. He's slipped through the cracks

of bureaucracy.

Why does he do it?

Is it some dysfunctional level of self -hatred, a psychotic need for

sublimation?

He gets the kick out of it. And the harder the person to fool, the bigger

kick.

Well, if it's just kicks, he doesn't sound dangerous.

Well, no. Up to now.

This is his current research.

Based on my therapy sessions with him, I believe they indicate his desire to

fulfill his most dangerous impersonation goals.

The mechanics of the Cessna 150?

He wants to fly a plane.

Great anatomy.

And perform a successful operation.

This is our training manual.

While in police uniform, he wants to engage a suspect in a gun battle.

I'll go to the precinct immediately.

Also, the hospital ER staffs and the local airport.

What's this guy look like?

Make sure we get copies of this. Oh, and this.

And this, too. He sometimes looks like this.

How many of these are there?

Excuse me.

Mike Donnelly, right?

Keep up the good work, Donnelly.

We've got the word out on all our mono.

Airports and hospitals.

Beautiful. Come in here. I want to run something by you.

Trevor.

Mark Trevor.

Right.

You're right.

I've been thinking about this auto theft ring.

What is it?

Your idea first.

You're the boss.

I looked at the reports.

They're stealing imports in the 30K range. Three in the last two weeks. All

the Oakdale area.

Women and middle -aged drivers.

So, we get one of these cars.

We put Carmela in the front seat. Stan in the back, hidden. She drives around,

chumming. They take the car from her and bada -bing, Stan nails them.

As they pinched the car.

Well, what's yours?

I've looked up the reports.

They've been dumping the cars in the River Grove area two to four hours after

they've been stolen.

So, we keep officers on alert.

Next time a car is stolen, we set up a concentrated patrol in River Grove, bust

them as they drop off the car.

That's a good idea.

Well... So is yours.

Only with your idea, another car gets stolen.

True.

But with your idea, we waste man hours driving around gambling that the car

be targeted.

You think I waste man hours?

No, you don't. Your plan does.

I don't want another person to go through the

anger and frustration of having their car stolen.

Well, I don't either. I just happen to think that my setup gives us a better

chance to catch the perps.

But hey, you're the boss.

Boss? Sorry.

Aldrin Field reports a stolen plane, and it's in the air.

Oh, Harlow.

I got an insight heading west on Franklin.

Alert paramedics and fire.

And hook me up with the control tower. We know who the pilot is, and he ain't

pilot.

Tony, are you all right?

Go, go.

Sid, I don't know what's happening. I've never felt such pain.

I think he's trying to land.

It went down.

How bad?

Did it hit anything?

No, no. The plane crashed in the woods.

But I don't see how the pilot can be alive.

My God, he is alive.

This is X -ray 10. Now in foot pursuit.

I want all available units to that area. Code 3.

Alert the fire department.

I need an ambulance sent here for me. No!

Tony!

It's a kidney stone.

Actually, they're kidney stones.

And both are blocking a ureter, consequently causing your pain.

Um, is that serious?

I mean, serious.

No, no, no. Kidney stones are rarely, rarely life -threatening.

Usually we observe a patient overnight, we release them, and we hope they'll

pass the stones at home.

But I have to be frank, Mr. Scali.

The size and shape of these stones concern me.

I had it backwards. Sorry.

I'd like to get them out of you under supervision.

You could be here a few days.

I want you to drink lots of cranberry juice and at least an eight -ounce glass

of water every hour.

Every hour? That's an awful lot of water.

Otherwise, we'll have to try ureteroscopy, in which we insert a fiber

probe into your ureter and pull out the stones.

And, of course, in extreme cases, there's the possibility of surgery.

But let's hold off on that.

I'll tell you what, you're in luck.

Dr. Irving Charles is a visiting specialist, and he's due in tomorrow.

Now, he chairs the Renal Trauma Center in Boston.

I'm going to have him come and take a look at you.

In the meantime, take those painkillers, and, uh, oh, when you go, go into

these. They'll catch the stones.

Well, rest up, Mr. Scali, and we'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you, Dr. Bannon.

Check out his credentials.

He was too anxious to cut me open, and he had my x -ray backwards.

He could be the imposter. No.

At the mental hospital, they said the harder the person for him to fool, the

bigger the thrill. What bigger thrill than to pull one over on the police

commissioner? Tony, Dr. Bennett is the chief of staff. I mean, his picture is

hanging in the lobby.

Lucknow.

How you doing?

Hi, Sid. Come on in.

Boy, you sure gave us the scare today.

Um, I wanted to apologize for our little disagreement.

I hope that's not what brought this on.

Too much calcium brought this on.

Okay, well, I'll let you go.

Everybody's thinking about you.

I said, look, I don't want to come off like a wuss here, but this really hurts.

Consider me on the DL.

The Eastbridge PD is in your hands for the next few days.

Well, if anything major arose, I would certainly come to you first. I trust

You're the boss. You called the shots. Now go do it.

Lucille? Mm -hmm?

Um, could we swap chairs?

I just feel a little funny sitting in the chair.

It feels funny.

You wanted to see us?

Yeah.

I'd like you two to prepare a patrol of the River Grove area.

Next time a car is hijacked, this patrol will be activated, at which time a

search for the suspect dumping the car will begin, at which point they will be

apprehended.

Problem? Well, I heard that the boss wanted us to requisition an import car

sort of chum for the carjackers.

Yeah, chum.

Well, Commissioner Scali has informed me that this is my call.

So you're calling it?

Yeah.

I have total faith in you.

We'll get right on it.

You want me to bring you a wood plank so you can just sort of lean against it

and not have to sit?

There.

Happy?

Hi.

Oh,

you gotta be Mr.

Skinner.

I'm Sam Alexowski, big fan of your husband.

Oh, you are?

Hardcore. He's what I call a cop's cop.

An 85 % arrest and a conviction rate is outstanding.

Outstanding!

I bet he'd be glad to talk to you when he wakes up.

How old is he?

He's 39.

Then he will be 51.

Yeah, he'll still be alive when I become a cop.

Maybe I'll work for him. Manny, it's time for your treatment.

I'm sorry he shouldn't be bothering you. Oh, no.

He's no bother at all.

My husband would be thrilled to know he has a fan.

That I can come around?

Because I would love to discuss interrogation techniques with this man.

Sure. Anytime.

I'm Mrs. Galley.

I'm Dr. Charles. Dr. Bennett, did you have to drop by?

I hope I didn't interrupt any dreams of sunning on a balmy tropical island with

Mrs. Galley.

No, I dreamt I was in prison working on a rock pile.

Well, at least some part of you was working on breaking down stones.

Tony, this is Dr. Charles.

Oh, hey, you're the kidney guy.

That's right.

Passed anything last night?

I didn't pass punt to kick a thing last night.

Well, we're going to need you to start passing like Joe Willie or else.

Or else what?

Don't be alarmed.

Dr. Bennett probably told you about ureteroscopy.

Is that when the thing goes and then with the pulling?

Tony, nowadays 80 % of stone removal is done through a process called

extracorporeal shockwave lithograms.

You're anesthetized and they use shockwaves to break the stone down into

which you can pass painlessly.

I want that.

Well, Dr. Bennett mentioned the possibility of surgery.

Yes, well, Dr. Bennett seems to think that's the answer for everything.

Look, it's possible, but don't look.

I have to make my rounds.

It was a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Scali.

Keep down on those fluids, Chief.

And I'll see if I can get them to send you some more cranberry juice.

Ooh, that's on me.

That doctor I like.

He knows his stuff.

It's only been a day and a half and I'm already getting punchy.

I wanted you guys to come down so I could hear firsthand how the chumming's

going.

What happened?

Nothing.

They wouldn't give you a car?

No, we have one requisitioned.

Don't tell me it was stolen.

What? Come on.

What's the matter?

Well, Detective Madison told us to dispense with the shaman plan and work

dump -off area.

How could she do that?

She said you told her she was calling the shots while you were laid up.

Not in this case. She knew how I wanted to proceed.

Well, what do you want us to do?

Well, I don't want to undermine Sid's authority, so her assignment stands.

I'm just reprioritizing your caseload.

Reprioritizing? Right.

So pick up the car and happy chumming.

I don't like being caught in the middle of the brass power plays.

Yeah, I know.

We're doing what the boss wants, but Sid will kill us if she finds out.

If we bust these guys, she can't get too mad at us, right?

So let's do it.

Maybe we should check in with Gordy.

Okay.

X -Ray 9, this is Chum 1.

Respond, please.

It's been looking for you. We got a stolen car report, but it took the

couple hours before he knew to report it.

A couple hours?

Oh, man.

Wait, wait.

Sid says the average drop -off time is two to four hours after the theft.

Maybe we'll luck out and get there before they dump the car off.

I thought maybe we could make Tony proud of us.

I wanted to come through for him because he had faith in me.

Now what are we going to tell him?

You better have a good explanation as to your whereabouts and a damn good reason

why you were driving that car.

Did he tell you to...

I was 14 when I decided to become a cop.

On the corner was the old 63rd. That's where I'd hang out after school.

But in those days, the detectives were really competitive.

They wouldn't share the tricks of the trade with each other, let alone a kid

the street.

So I made myself indispensable.

Indispensable, right.

What do you mean?

I learned how to type.

I took their busy work off their hands, typing up their reports.

Little by little, they all taught me their secrets.

That's where I learned a lot of the techniques I still use today.

Most of my friends don't even like cops.

But I think they're very cool.

It's like your job is to stop bad things before they happen.

I started thinking that way after I got sick.

Hey, time for Dragnet. Want to watch it together?

Friday and Gannon.

Wouldn't want to miss that.

I was trying to get the remote.

I'm watching this.

You are not.

You've had that thing the whole time I've been here, and I was here first.

My illness is worse than yours.

You ever have a kidney stone, pal?

I got two of them.

Well, I have phlebitis. You ain't felt pain until you've had phlebitis.

Osteosarcoma, butthead, top dead.

Hey.

Hey, Sam, take it easy.

That wasn't good police work.

That's just being a bully, and any thug can do that.

See, an officer's best weapon isn't his nightstick or his gun.

It's his brain and his mouth.

See, a good cop regulates human behavior.

Another car got put through a chop shop last night because you chopped my legs

off. Now, maybe it was wrong of me to use your convalescence to do things my

way, but you were way out of line going behind my back after giving me your

confidence. The patrolmen don't know where to look for orders. That's not

bad for us, it's bad for the...

You're right.

I'm sorry.

Oh, okay.

Next time you have something to say to me, just make it to my face.

I thought that's how we worked.

Now, so that we're in sync, I want you to know that I'm having Stan and Carmela

execute your chumming plan starting tonight. Any problems with that, speak

No.

Good.

Hope you feel better.

how I regulated her behavior?

Okay, you guys know the route.

Check in with the dispatcher every 20 minutes.

Hey, guys, I'm sorry about last night.

Tony and I had our signals crossed.

Forget about it.

Yeah, we understand the spot you're in. I mean, it's like everyone thinks they

can handle the job their boss has until they get there.

No, no, no. What she means is, like, you know, you think you can do the

commissioner's job, no problem. The DA probably thinks he should be mayor, and

everybody thinks they can be president, right?

But in reality, it's like, you know, none of us could do a good job.

What I mean is... We'll be going now.

Surgery?

It's Dr. Bennett's idea, but I must concur.

Are you going to do the operation?

No, Dr. Charles feels he's had more experience.

What about that shockwave gun thing?

Tony, in further examination of your case, taking into consideration the

shape, location of your stone, I'm concerned the use of extracorporeal

lithotripsy may cause transient renal trauma.

See, the stones are lodged in your canal.

Which canal?

The tube or ureter?

I'm surprised you have to ask, Doctor.

So shall we schedule the surgery for early tomorrow?

As long as you guys have your canals straight.

Don't be concerned, Tony.

This is your best option.

This assures you your safety is literally in my hands.

I'm here.

We could just leave this on the nightstand.

Oh, I'm so sorry. The door was open.

We just wanted to leave this stuff for Sammy.

It's spread to the limit notes.

Just walking my dog. I live a couple blocks away.

Hi, Stan.

Hi.

You can afford this neighborhood on a cop's pay?

I, um, I have a little extra income.

Oh, like stock dividends and trust funds?

No, Pagan.

I take bribes from Colombian drug cartels.

Sid, uh, make sure you curb your dog.

Come on, Serpico, let's go.

Get away from the car.

Did you get their license?

No, I'm afraid they got away.

Maybe not.

I'm telling you, Detective Madison, peak performance auto parts have ancient

history. Yeah, it's just a vacant lot at that address.

Another series of dead ends.

What if Peak Performance is gone but not forgotten?

Let's say the proprietors of that establishment are in the stolen parts

industry, but they find it a safe and sound business practice to occasionally

change their name and location.

Find out who owned Peak Performance.

Then go to records and see if they're operating under a new name.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Yeah, that's thinking like the boss.

He'll make a good commissioner.

We'll get right on it.

Beautiful.

Hey, Doc.

Good news. You can take the day off.

Look.

I've never been under the knife before.

It was a close call.

Not so fast, Tony.

A quick examination of these stones indicates one has been broken.

You may still have deposits blocking your canal.

Oh, no. I'm clean. I can feel it.

Yeah. Or you may soon feel pain like you've never known.

Let me take that down to the lab and run it under the scope.

And if my suspicions are accurate... I'm afraid we're going to have to perform

surgery as scheduled.

Okay, whatever you say, Doc.

I mean, if that's what it takes.

I've got to admit, I'm a little nervous.

As a cop, I've engaged in gun battles and been less afraid.

You've been in a gun battle, huh?

Plenty.

What's that like?

I imagine it's a lot like surgery.

Something you have to have done to really know.

Well, we can swap war stories later.

Let me take this down to the lab so we don't have to postpone.

The commissioner passed his stone.

Just love to stomp on a man's dreams, huh, Dr. Charles?

You were good, Arlo.

But when you didn't know the answer to Dr. Bennett's question about the canals,

and you turned it around so he'd look bad?

That's a technique I use all the time when questioning suspects.

Tony, as your doctor, I gotta say, you're in no condition to be down here.

And I gotta say, as a police officer, you're under arrest.

Are you all right? Yeah. Are you? Yeah, I'll be right back.

Get me security.

Hey, boss, just stopped by to... This is Police Commissioner Scali. I need

people at every exit.

Thanks, Gordy. Come on.

He's about 5 '11", reddish hair.

The early 30s.

But he could look like anyone.

Patient, doctor, candy striper.

Okay, move it out of here.

Oh, my God. The operating room.

Sorry. I have to check everyone.

You see, in a red -blooded American car, these things are easy to find.

I don't know a squat about these foreign jobs.

Isn't that it right there?

Oh, yeah, I guess so.

An oil filtration system is a lot like a car's kidney.

Oh, let's not mention that word for another month.

Good to have you back, Tony.

It's great to be back.

I got to tell you guys, when I passed those stones, I knew what it must feel

like to give birth.

What do we got here?

Oh, Stan and Carmela traced the owners of Peak Performance Auto Parts to a

called On Top Auto Parts down in Jefferson.

Yeah, we caught a break with the last stolen car. The manufacturer marked some

of the major parts with a serial number.

So we got a car and the same making model as the stolen one.

Joe's going to break something.

Hopefully the guys down at On Top Auto Parts will try to replace it with the

stolen car's part.

Well, Joe, what are you waiting for?

Break something.

My pleasure.

Well, it looks like you got a cracked oil pump.

How'd you do that?

Oh, it must have been that ditch outside of Binghamton.

Yeah.

Can you fix it?

I don't know. That part's going to take at least a week to get.

A week?

We have to be in Trenton the day after tomorrow.

Isn't there something you can do?

I don't mind paying a bit more.

Yeah.

Let me see what I can do.

How about that?

Talk about luck, huh? We have one more left. Yeah, I can have it ready for you

day after tomorrow.

Officer, present yourself.

Alexowski reporting for duty.

Welcome to the Eastbridge PD, Alexowski.

Sir, I'm proud to be one of Eastbridge's finest.

To fail, you're with Miller.

Donnelly, ride with Fall Pink.

Steven, you're with Trevor.

Gally, you're with... Alexowski?

I'm in the field today.

Okay, don't forget to be on the lookout for Arlo Mono.

He could be impersonating an officer.

Smith. Oh, wait, wait. One more thing.

Be careful out there.

Sam, there.

A 10 -30 in progress.

Hit the lights and call it in.

It's not Maine.

Roger that.

You're on PA.

Stop! That's the police!

Stop! Put your hands on your head!

Look,

officer, I can explain.

Don't, Silk.

You were running home to catch the first half of the ball game.

Gee, I ought to use that.

Shut up, punk, and put your hands behind your back.

Moran dies in Malachowski.

You have the right to remain...

You give up the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used

against you in the court of law.

Samuel Alexowski, in acknowledgement of your courageous service with Eastbridge

PD, it is my honor to award you with the Distinguished Officer's Cross for Valor

Above and Beyond the Call of Duty.

Congratulations, son.

Thank you, sir.

There you are.

Well, she's all fixed up.

Maybe so are you.

Pop the hood.

Hey, what is this? Who are you?

Eastbridge PD.

Open it.

What's the problem here? Am I in some violation?

Just stand back, sir.

Okay.

Adam Mark Thomas 58873.

You reading the old pump?

Yeah. A -M -T 58873.

Not even close.

Look, you're wasting your time.

But I got the part serial number right here on the invoice, direct from the

dealer.

It's brand new.

Now, that'll be $175, parts and labor.

Bill me.

Oh, and officers, know that the pump heads on this make of car rarely crack.

And never that cleanly.

You make me feel so young. Hey, what is that crap? Turn it off!

I can't. There's a tape stuck in the machine.

And every time I see you grin, I'm such a happy

individual.

Here, let me show you.

I want to run, play, hide and seek.

I want to go...

Tunes for cruising.

All right, where's the rest of my car?

Well, after enlightening our mechanic on prison time, he finally rolled over on

the carjackers. Stan and Carmela are picking him up now.

Hmm. Good, good. Great.

I, uh, just wanted to apologize.

For a button heads with you.

I'll forget about it if you will.

It's all said and done.

Neither of our plans got them.

Boss, we got some big week New York State police guy here in the squad room.

Something about a surprise inspection.

Surprise inspection?

Detention inspection.

Wait, this guy about 570 pounds kind of got a wild look in his eye? Yeah.

Grab him. Cuff him. We finally got Arlo Mono. I'll be right in.

Arlo! Arlo!

Time to face the facts.

You are what you are and there's no way around it.

As Popeye says, I am what I am.

What I am is the state police inspector.

What I am is a personal friend of Mario Cuomo.

Arlo's at large.

He's still out there. And you'll be out there with him if I spend another second

in these cups!

Dear Commissioner Scali, I thought you might like a couple of photos from Sam's

time spent with East Bridges Finance.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart to see Sam so happy and full of life

that day.

That one precious moment is how we choose to remember our little boy.

Please give our best love to Rachel.

Love, Bill and Janet Alasowski.