Original subtitles

No other weapon?

Mm -mm. Just the fireplace.

So it's a crime of passion.

He loves her.

She rejects him. He ends up pushing her against the fireplace.

Or a premeditated murder.

He grabs her and smashes her head into the fireplace and leaves her here to

bleed to death.

You're such a romantic.

Boss.

Yeah. This is the guy who called us, Ira Goldblum. Says he saw him.

Hard to believe.

He was such a good boy.

Who, Mr. Goldblum?

Him.

Claudia's boyfriend, Jeffrey.

You saw him here tonight? They were arguing.

I heard it through the wall.

About what?

I don't know.

Really, I don't know.

Their music was on and my TV.

But the thud was loud.

The thud? Like someone fell.

I came into the hall to see if everything was all right, and that's

Jeffrey leaving.

He swore everything was all right.

But you still called the police anyway.

He was such a nice boy.

Helped me move my furniture.

Find Claudia's phone book.

She's got to have an address.

He fixed my window screen.

Wired my TV for cable.

Let's pick this model citizen up.

Yeah, I'll track down his friends. You know, maybe there's pay stubs. I'll see

where he works.

Caruso, Lopez will have the address.

Go there and wait.

I got it.

No, it's okay, Stan. I'm fine. No, I insist.

You got nicer hands than me. Hey, hey, Pagano. What? What's the big deal if I

pump the gas?

Hands behind your head.

Hands behind your head. All right.

What?

Lost him?

You practically held him a cab, Sam.

Hun?

Which one?

There's two Huns in this house.

And, of course, there's Attila in the guest room. Look at this.

The phone bill of the national debt.

$500 worth of phone calls to 555... F -E -X -X.

It's got to be a mistake.

Oh, boy.

Phone calls start at 3 .30 every day.

Right when David comes home from school.

And there's a break between 6 and 6 .30.

Right when we eat supper.

And they continue till midnight.

No wonder he's been rushing away from the table lately.

It's not a mistake. It's David.

Is he out of his godforsaken mind?

He's playing with sex like it's some kind of game.

What family does he think he lives with?

The Rockefellers?

When I was a kid, you hid a magazine and a flashlight underneath the sheets. It

was free.

First is the phone.

Then it's some prostitute in the streets.

Do you know what $500 would pay for?

A new roof, air conditioning.

You have to talk to him.

$500 would pay for the reform school in Siberia we're going to send him to for

spending $500. We have to put an end to this.

I'll put an end to this.

Now, you tell David that sex can be a beautiful thing, but only when you're in

love. Protected and 30.

What?

Oh, yeah, sure.

But first I'm going to bust these businesswomen.

David's 10.

It's illegal to accept his calls.

555 Sex is going to wish they never heard of me, my son, or my $500.

You gotta do that first thing in the morning?

Not first thing in the morning when you've been up all night.

When are we gonna get some relief?

I don't know. I'm not going anywhere.

Oh, first murder bust, huh?

Yeah.

First of many.

It's what, Cruz?

In about 30 seconds, you're gonna get your chance.

Jeffrey?

She's dead.

She's dead.

They killed her.

I knew she was hurt.

I thought someone would find her. I'm going to come back to myself.

I can't believe it. I killed her.

of you guys last night. According to the gas station owner, the perp ran right

in front of you. If you stuck your foot out and tripped the guy, we would have

had an arrest.

Well, our choreography got a little messed up.

Choreography? You're supposed to chase the guy, not do the two -step.

Does this have anything to do with Stan?

No, I just thought it would be easier if I took the skinnier perp. That's all.

Look, Commissioner, the bottom line is...

that Stan doesn't think I can handle as much as the other guys on the force.

I should have seen that coming.

Stan's been avoiding partnering with the woman for a long time.

I purposely put the two of you together so he'd learn to look at a pretty face

and think cop, not woman.

Yeah, well, he hasn't learned his lesson.

Okay.

The best teacher is experience.

You just gotta give him the right experience.

Ever heard of the spinning wheel bar?

Yeah. It's a tough bar.

Sleazy part of town. I've never actually been there, but... You will tonight.

I got him, boss. The guy that killed the girl last night. The old man was right.

It was the boyfriend. He confessed the whole thing to me in the car.

Nice work, Caruso. Bring him in.

Sit down, Jeffrey.

I'm Commissioner Scali.

I never meant for this to happen.

I just wanted to talk to her. I just wanted her to understand how I felt.

Sir, not now.

I think for this you want to be interrupted.

What? I got a guy confessing to the murder last night.

You do?

That's strange.

This guy here says he's the one. He had a witness practically saw him do it.

Mr. Goldblum didn't see Jeffrey kill Claudia.

He saw me.

I did it.

If you think it was

easy getting down here, don't. I had to take the 10 bus and the 115.

I know, Mr. Goldblum. We really appreciate your help.

Bring him in, please.

That's him.

That's Jeffrey.

The man you saw leave Claudia's apartment.

Number four.

Okay, next group.

Next group?

How many groups?

It's not like I can stay here all day and... I know, Mr. Goldblum. Please try

and bear with us, okay?

Thank you.

I told you.

That's him, the one in the center.

Uh, Mr. Goldblum, they're twin brothers.

You only saw one man leave Claudia's apartment, right? Right. Can you tell me

which one?

Bring 4A back, please, and stand him next to 3B.

Oh, my.

I had no idea.

How could I possibly tell them apart?

Well, is one's eyes set differently?

The one on the left seems slightly taller than the one on the right.

I'm an old man, Commissioner. I don't know which of those men did it.

Maybe their mother could tell them apart.

But not me.

Hey,

Dad.

Sit down.

Mom says I should come by.

Yeah.

That's because I don't know what time I'll be home tonight.

I'm working on a pretty serious case.

Actually, two serious cases.

Really? What?

Well, the first one's a murder. Twin brothers. Don't know which one did it.

Neat. And the second is the reason I asked you to come here.

It involves a very large, very mysterious phone bill that came to our

David, calling strange women late at night

on the phone is very expensive.

Come on, David, we got the bill. Those calls cost $500.

That's a lot of money.

Sure is.

Well, I didn't do it.

Look, uh... I can understand it's fun.

Talking to pretty women, pretending you're older, hearing dirty words, and

you gotta do is dial the phone.

Really?

David, I'm a seasoned interrogator. Don't test me.

Dad, I don't know what you're talking about.

You know, even worse than spending this money is you lying to me.

I'm not lying, Dad.

I thought we trusted each other more than that.

I don't understand.

I loved her. How can love make such terrible things happen?

Love didn't kill Claudia, Jeffrey.

A person did.

I would have done anything she wanted.

I never felt that way about anyone except maybe my brother.

He's an architect, you know. He designed the Clemson building.

No, I didn't know.

Claudia was a waitress.

That's how we met. We saw her at a restaurant.

Greg stopped her at the cash register and told her I thought she was pretty.

And I made dinner for her the next day.

Have you continued seeing her?

Last night made it three months.

For our one -month anniversary, Greg suggested a gold bracelet.

And after two months, she picked out earrings.

Last night for our three -month anniversary, I surprised her with a

diamond. As in, will you marry me?

I thought she'd be happy.

I thought it was exactly what she wanted.

But it wasn't?

She said she never wanted to see me again. She said I was weak.

That it bored her to leave me around.

So it was over?

No.

I just kept thinking, what would Greg do?

He'd give her what she wanted. She wanted strength, he'd give her strength.

She wanted force, he'd give her force. So I held her and I shook her.

Told her I could be whatever she wanted.

She screamed how I pushed her.

That's when she hit the fireplace.

And the glass cut her.

What glass?

From the... From the broken picture.

It's our blood.

I just wanted her to know I was strong.

Well?

Motive, opportunity, and a very convincing confession.

If I was playing Clue, I'd say Jeffrey did it in the apartment with the

fireplace. Yeah, what about the brother?

I don't know. How do you get a guy to admit he's not guilty?

Hey, Ronnie. Who?

I need a favor.

Sure. You know those 555 sex phone numbers?

You mean the ones you read about in Flesh magazine?

I don't know anything about them.

Yeah, well, my son does. I want you to track down these calls.

My son's underage.

I want you to find out who spoke to him, and we're going to get her.

There's a problem, boss. The station phones are blocked out. You can't dial

-SEX. I think. I mean, I don't know. I'm not sure. Somebody told me that. It's

okay, Ronnie. Just use the phone company, okay?

I know my brother confessed.

But that's Jeffrey for you.

He feels guilty.

After all, I only went there because his girlfriend rejected him.

I wanted to change her mind. It got violent.

I wish it hadn't, but somehow, someway, I pushed her against the fireplace.

Somehow, someway?

What I mean is...

It wasn't intended.

All I meant to do was get her to marry Jeffrey.

Wasn't that his responsibility?

In case you hadn't noticed, Jeffrey's a little... oversensitive.

I, on the other hand, can be very persuasive.

Up until now, it's worked well for us.

I tell him what clothes to wear, what jobs to take, even which girls to go out

with.

Occasionally, if one of them sounds...

Particularly spectacular.

I'll spend a few nights with her myself.

Jeffrey usually gets flowers the next day.

They wonder what the hell got into him.

Were you sleeping with Claudia Henderson?

No.

Like I said, they had to be spectacular.

I believe you're an arrogant son of a bitch.

Unfortunately, that's not a crime.

Screwing with a police commissioner is.

Your brother did it.

You didn't admit it. You're wrong.

An eyewitness said Claudia's boyfriend did it.

I spoke to Goldbloom in the hall.

He'd never know the difference, him or me.

I'm getting really tired of this.

I mean it. What are you going to do?

Beat an unconfession out of me?

Convince me not to turn myself in?

Or just accept the situation?

Because the fact is, you can't do anything at all.

I can't do anything at all?

Me?

No.

No, Greg Foreman.

You're the one at the corner.

You're the one who can't do anything at all.

Does that mean you know who did it?

I would.

They didn't look so damn alike.

Hell, even their fingernails are the same length.

I'd know if their confessions weren't so on the nose, but they're saying the

same thing right down to the temperature in the room.

Most fingerprints were found in the apartment, so that proves nothing.

Clothing fibers don't help. They share the same wardrobe.

Do you realize that we could have been watching this crime with binoculars from

across the street?

and we still couldn't testify who did it?

So we know nothing.

Except what they're up to.

They think we can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt either brother did it.

They think we can't charge two men with the same crime.

They think that as long as both twins are confessing, we can't hold either

They're right.

I can't do anything at all.

But boss, one of these guys is a killer.

Let him go.

Hey, Carmela, did Scali say anything to you about us bungling the liquor store

robbery last night?

Us?

Why? He say something to you?

No. It's just that, you know, we're reassigned to 33rd Street. You know that

Scali's doing.

I've never been there before. You think it's some kind of punishment?

No. Look, the truth is... All right, what do you want me to do? Look,

the truth is that we're assigned to 33rd Street. We'll just have to deal with

it.

The brothers Karamazov?

Yeah, they're on their way home. Two very happy campers. I think they bucked

system. I've seen some crazy murder schemes in my day, but never one as

diabolical as this.

That Greg Borman is evil. Evil enough to be the murderer?

He's on one hell of a power trip, that guy.

What greater power is it than killing another human being?

Manipulating the police so you don't have to pay the price.

Both of them being followed, maybe one of them will return to the scene of the

crime. Uh -uh.

I already put a guard on it.

One of these two guys is lying.

I don't want him going back to that apartment to further authenticate a fake

confession.

M .E. report on Claudia Henderson.

No drugs, no recent intake of alcohol, a relatively high level of estrogen.

Was she pregnant?

No, an ovarian cyst.

These two guys have spent their whole lives as a unit.

How do we separate them?

How do we make one different?

Irv, what was the single greatest character -changing event in your life?

The day I got my gold badge.

For me, it was something different.

Caruso, pick Greg up.

We just let him go.

Bring him in on obstruction of justice.

He'll be out in an hour, but I don't care.

Let me know as soon as he's confined.

That's when I'm going to speak to Jeffrey.

Oh, uh, Ronnie's waiting for you outside.

He's got the address you wanted.

Oh, good.

Very good.

Don't you understand? It's working.

The cops are going in circles.

If we both keep confessing.

They can't charge either one of us, much less send us to jail.

So we both get off completely.

It's brilliant, isn't it?

When the cops brought you in, I realized they don't know who they have, you or

me. They can't know who killed her, you or me.

We could have pulled this off even if Claudia lived.

She couldn't be sure who pushed her, you or me.

So Claudia's dead and nothing happens.

We stay together. That's what happens.

Look, I don't want either one of us to go to jail.

We're a team.

Without you, I'm just another guy.

Have I ever let you down before?

Greg? That's me.

We're bringing you back to the station.

Production of Justice.

Him? What about me?

Warren only said Greg.

So, you want to go to the spinning wheel now or after dinner?

Huh?

The spinning wheel bar.

Come on, I know you know what I'm talking about. Don't even.

Uh -uh.

Dan, the ritual.

It's been around for over like a hundred years.

When a cop gets assigned to 33rd Street for the first time, they gotta prove

themselves with a spinning wheel.

How come I never heard of this?

I don't know.

But I know that neighborhood, and, uh, you know, if you wanna get respect from

the riffraff on 33rd, you gotta go into the spinning wheel, right?

Right. And you gotta lay out the fat guy who sits at the corner stool.

If we can do that... Get their respect.

No trouble.

Yeah, and if we can't, or better, don't.

Trouble.

May I help you?

I'm Commissioner Scali.

Someone here took calls from my son. That's an illegal act. He's 10.

That's not our policy. We're very strict about that.

Well, someone wasn't strict enough.

And I'm going to close this place down.

Ladies, I'm Commissioner Scali. And personally, I don't care if you want

society's lowest common denominator breathing in your ear.

Commissioner Scali?

Tony Scali?

I don't know this woman. I never talked to her before in my life.

Tony Scali, who stifles the creative dreams, hopes, and aspirations of his

brother -in -law?

That Tony Scali?

You know Arnie. He calls every night.

I thought it was your son that was a pervert, not your brother -in -law.

That's legal.

Let me get this straight.

Arnie calls you every night to talk business?

I understand his dream.

His business dream?

Plus, he sounds like a really sweet guy.

Ladies... It looks like there's been a little mistake here.

Girls, go back to your phones.

Lola here, baby.

Your wish is my command.

Look, I think it's great Arnie and you are friends.

I think it's great Arnie does anything that doesn't involve my house, my food,

or my bathroom.

But you gotta do me a favor.

I can't afford to keep this relationship on the phone.

Get Arnie to take you out on a date.

Any suggestions, Hal?

Yeah. Tell him I'm against it.

Hello, Jeffrey.

They just took Greg. Why'd you arrest him again?

May I come in?

You can't hold us.

Greg said... Because you can't possibly be over 50 % sure which one of us did

it. I can't charge either one. It's true.

It's really cold out here. May I come in?

Why are you here? Are you bringing me in, too?

First, I want to talk to you about something.

It may not be my place exactly, but I think you've got a right to know.

Were you aware Claudia was pregnant?

My baby?

That's three weeks.

Did Claudia know?

She didn't. She couldn't.

God, maybe when she found out, she would have married me.

People do that, you know.

I just waited.

I just hadn't done it so soon.

I have to bring you back to the station, Jeffrey.

Sure we should do this?

I'm telling you, this is where the trouble hangs out. We go through with

ritual, buy them all a drink, and they're our friends for life.

What's his name, Lily?

I heard Scarlet himself talk about it just the other day.

Come on, guys, let's get in the room.

Hey, look at this guy. What is she going to do?

Hey.

I don't think this is a good idea.

Yeah, well, I do.

Hey, this is for the Eastbridge PD.

We're on

duty. No, we gotta go.

We gotta go.

I'm back anytime.

I didn't know you were that strong.

I think I dropped my keys.

I'll be back in a sec.

Thanks. I think it worked.

For Commissioner Skelly Anita.

Yeah. Thanks a lot.

I brought you back in, too?

Don't worry.

The lawyers just left. This obstruction of justice charge is bogus.

We'll be out of here soon.

I don't care about getting out.

Jeffrey, don't start that garbage again. You don't belong in jail.

Didn't Scali tell you?

Scali didn't tell me anything.

Claudia was pregnant.

Jeff, calm down.

Three weeks ago, Claudia and I conceived my child, and now I will never see her

again.

I will never see my child.

Look, don't be so sure about this child idea.

Child idea?

Scali will say anything to get one of us to break.

This room is probably bugged.

Child would have meant everything to me.

Don't think about it.

I would have read to him and...

Played with him and taught him. Stop it. Don't tell me what to do.

He would have been my son.

Finally something in my life that was mine and not yours.

Someone has to go to jail for this.

Jeffrey, watch what you're saying. My child is dead. Someone has to go to

No one meant to do it. It doesn't matter. You killed Claudia. Jeffrey,

You killed my baby.

Greg Borman, we're charging you with the murder of Claudia Henderson.

I told you, you idiot. They heard everything.

This isn't legal. It can't be legal.

We got a court order.

He did it, right?

Yeah, he did it.

Like I said.

For God's sake, Jeffrey, you're blowing it. Congratulations, Greg.

We finally believe your confession.

I recant.

It isn't true. I didn't do it.

Come on. All day you've been begging us to believe you killed Claudia because

she hurt your brother.

I only did it to protect Jeffrey. He did it.

And now he can't face the fact that he killed his own kid and he's blaming me.

That's crazy. I loved her.

I wouldn't kill her. How could I?

Damn it.

With the twins pointing the finger at each other, we're right back where we

started. We still can't prove which one did it. Now what?

Is the crime scene preserved?

Yeah, of course. Good.

Make sure it stays that way. Those guys are going back to that apartment.

I thought you didn't want them there.

That was when they were confessing.

Now they're both accusing.

All gloves are off.

Jeff, I think you're innocent.

Thanks. Thanks for believing me.

Problem is proving it.

So what do we do?

I want to take you both back to the scene of the crime.

Greg will never go.

He will if you will.

Otherwise he'll look guilty.

Greg, I think you're innocent.

Smart man, Commissioner.

To prove it, I want to take you both back to the scene of the crime.

Jeff's a very sensitive guy.

He'll crack.

If he goes.

He'll go if you do.

Otherwise, he'll look guilty.

You know, one of you guys should write a book.

Things they don't teach at the academy. I would have gone right out on 33rd

Street by myself.

That's why they make senior officers.

Is that the guy?

Yep.

Now, since you're a new cop, we've got to gain their respect.

Okay, when I knock him off his chair, you'll see. These guys are our friends

life.

Hi, I'm Stan Kelly, and this is for the East Bridge PD.

I'm going to kill you.

What's going on here? You got company?

No.

Arnie does.

Arnie never has company.

Arnie doesn't have friends.

He met a girl.

She really likes him.

A girl?

Rachel, we got to talk about something.

You cannot wait till later. You're not being very hospitable.

Come on. Come on and meet her.

This isn't a good night. I have to work after dinner.

You were involved in the early designs of the artificial heart?

Yeah, yeah. I met the guy in the men's room at Madison Square Garden. I

discussed the whole thing with him. But you know that Dr.

Jarvik, he's such a publicity seeker that he never mentioned my name once.

Still, he agreed the heart is just a big toilet.

Lots of pipes.

Fluid goes in, goes out.

And the surgeon's simply a plumber. I drew it out on a napkin for him.

Commissioner Scali.

You two know each other?

Arnie didn't mention how he and Gloria met?

No.

Excuse me.

Arnie, did you ever consider being a doctor?

You've got a surgeon's hand.

I've been told that.

Scali here.

The spinning wheel bar?

Hey, Pagan, you've got to teach me that move. You were great, man.

Someone want to tell me what happened here?

He jumped me.

Sorry,

boss.

I told him the story of the spinning wheel ritual.

The story I made up?

The story meant to prove to Stan that women are his equal?

Okay, okay.

It was a stupid idea.

I should have just walked right up the stand, looked him straight in the eye,

and told him face to face, never underestimate a woman.

Send me the bill, okay?

We're going to recreate this murder down to the last detail.

This is the time the M .E. said that Claudia was killed.

Were you smoking that night, Greg?

This is ridiculous. I told you I wasn't here that night.

Well, we're reenacting this confession, the one you swore to before you changed

your mind.

Now, were you smoking?

No. When I made that confession, I said I wasn't smoking.

Then put out the cigarette.

It says here the argument started on the couch.

I don't know where the argument started. I wasn't here. Sit on the couch.

What happened next?

Uh... I only know what Jeffrey told me. Great.

Pretend you're Jeffrey.

She yelled at you, you yelled back at her. She got up off the couch.

I followed her. I grabbed her. She screamed, stop.

I pushed her against the fireplace, and the stupid picture of the marching man

fell off the wall. Okay.

It says here, charming man.

In your confession, you said the picture was printed with the words, charming

man. It's a typo.

I'll talk to the dental.

Can I see Jeff read the confession, please?

Bring Jeff in here?

Same typo.

It's weird.

You did it, Jeff.

You killed Claudia.

Well, what did he say?

Read this.

Whatever he said, he's lying. I asked you to read it. Why? I didn't do it.

The charming man. So what?

Greg's lying.

I know you did it.

You're dyslexic.

So I had trouble reading sometimes. Who cares?

You had trouble reading the night you killed Claudia, didn't you?

You read the picture wrong.

Then when you told Greg what happened, you repeated the misread words.

That's why Greg used the wrong words in his confession.

Jeff, it's going to be okay.

If Greg was actually here, he'd have known the right words.

You killed her, didn't you, Jeffrey?

It was all his fault. Greg told me to come back here.

He said Claudia was making a fool out of me.

I didn't want you to kill her, Jeffrey.

You told me to be more forceful.

You said I could change her mind. You made me kill my baby.

You didn't kill your baby, Jeffrey.

Claudia wasn't pregnant.

You lied to me.

I'm sorry, Jeff.

I let you down.

Please believe me, I never meant to let this happen.

Take him in, boys.

It's over.

You awake?

Yeah.

I

know

you weren't lying, David.

I should have known better.

I should have believed you.

It's okay.

Good.

And if you do have any questions about girls, anything at all, all you got to

is ask.

There is something.

Yeah? What?

What's the number you call to hear pretty women talk about sex?

I'll pay for it. Out of my life.

You are absolutely out of your mind. You just met this girl tonight. But it's

right, Rachel. I can feel it.

They were loafing.

You and Gloria?

And the two of you aren't living here.

Congratulations.

They're rushing into this, honey. It's way too soon. She understands me.

Well, I gotta go. We're leaving for Tahiti tonight.

Tahiti. Bon voyage.

I'll miss you, Rach.

Hi, Tony.

Send us a card, Arnie.

I don't believe this.

My brother is eloping to Tahiti with a phone sex operator.

Oh, come on.

They got a lot in common.

She's in sales.

He'd like to be in sales.

She's great with people. He wishes he were great with people.

Obviously, they both love Tahiti.

How much was that phone bill for?

$500. We've got to fix the roof.

$500. Money well spent.