Original subtitles

It was me. I did it.

I'm the Riverside killer.

You stopped me while I was on patrol and confessed to the Riverside murder.

Is that correct, Mr. Hurley?

Hector, just call me Hector.

I can't live with myself anymore. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't want to kill her, you know, and I know I should have stayed, but I got

scared and I ran out the back door.

But I'm here now.

I'm here now.

You ran out the back door?

Yes. It was an apartment. There was no back door.

Well, I guess I got turned around on my own and settled state.

Do you still have possession of the murder weapon, a .38 caliber handgun?

I buried it in the backyard.

The woman was stabbed.

That's not what they said in the paper.

I put that in the paper to keep any suspects guessing.

Okay. You're very clever.

I, uh, I didn't shoot her.

I stabbed her.

Repeatedly. She died of gunshot wounds.

.45 caliber.

You just sent it. I said that to see what you would say.

Hector, you're not the Riverside killer.

So if you don't mind, we're very busy. Okay, okay.

You just want to let a bank robber walk out of here.

A what?

I knocked off First National two weeks ago.

Security cameras show that suspect to be a black male.

Yeah.

I'm a master of disguise.

Ricky. Oh, I snatched a purse at the corner of 10th and Main. I got a double

parking citation out against me, and you're not going to let me go.

What you are guilty of...

is obstruction of governmental administration by confessing to a crime

not commit.

Yes.

So?

Throw the book at me.

Hector, it's not customary to smile for a mugshot.

I can't help it. This is the happiest day of my life.

Buongiorno, David.

Buongiorno. Morning, honey.

What are you doing?

Is Mom sick?

Well, is something wrong with Dad making breakfast?

There is if the dad is you. You put too much salt in the food.

Surprise!

Eggs a la Scali.

How many times do I have to tell you you can't use metal with a Teflon pan?

Sorry, sorry.

Look, honey, I made you a favor.

Who could like the eye of a yolk staring up from the plate? It's like some

alien.

Could you make my scramble with onions and hold the salt, please?

This ain't a diner, Arnie.

This ain't a hotel.

This is a house.

A house with a broken storm door.

Oh, what, the U .N.'s not in session because of the storm door?

What, stocks are down because of the storm tour? You were the one who said

you... Oh, please, would you two just cut it out for one day?

I swear you let children... I'm not eating. I'm just going to go to work.

You know how I was three days late and I thought... It started this morning. I'm

not pregnant.

Oh, I'm sorry, Rach.

Well, we'll just try again next month. Try again? We said that last month.

going to say it next month.

Sick of trying.

I like trying.

Yeah, Jerry Suarez, Tony Scali.

I'd like to send some roses to Rachel.

And put it on my tab, please.

And sign it, I'm sorry, love, Tony.

Yeah, the usual.

Thank you.

Anything all right in here?

Yeah. The resident claims she was confronted by an assailant.

But when we got here, the resident didn't want to tell us what happened.

So that's why we've been here, sir, questioning the resident.

It takes six of you guys to question one resident.

Let me guess.

That's the resident.

Excuse me. As you can see, this has not been a great morning. I don't have time

for a door -to -door salesman.

He's our boss.

This is Michelle Carver.

I'm Tony Scali.

Um, can you tell us what happened here, Mrs. Carver?

Michelle, I'd rather show you.

Um, well, since the boss is here, you guys can go. Thank you.

Uh, you guys got enough for a report? Oh, yeah, sure. We'll leave you two

See you, boss.

It's my secret hiding place.

Does it tell you anything?

It tells me you've got something to hide.

Everyone's got a secret.

And yours?

A ring.

Three -carat marquee cut.

How could I have known it was there?

Crooks know that people are creatures of habit.

Everybody keeps their valuables in their bedroom.

Michelle, the officer said you were confronted by a man.

I know this is a sensitive question, but were you attacked by that man?

No.

Well, the officer said that you were confronted.

Oh, I saw him coming in, and I ran, and I called the police, and he probably

heard me and left.

Well... I only ask because there's been an assailant in Westbridge.

He likes to work in the morning. He comes through the bedroom window.

His intention is to rob, but he has gone further.

If you saw this guy again, would you be able to identify him?

Yes, definitely.

Curly hair, brown.

Maybe this much taller than me.

Okay, good.

I'd like to have someone over to make a composite.

Wait, does that mean that you're going to put a guard at my door?

Michelle, I can't spare the man.

But I will notify patrol to maintain a high profile in this area.

But he's after me. He's going to try and hurt me.

Well, that hasn't been a trait.

No, I know it. I feel it.

Don't you sometimes just feel things, Tony?

Yes.

I feel that you're going to be okay.

My private line.

If you have a problem, call me there.

Here's my card.

You work in a salon?

Down the west side. Hair, makeup, beauty supplies, you know.

But you know your stuff.

That's my private line right there.

Okay.

Anything new comes up, I'll give you a call.

Get in touch with Westbridge.

Let him know that their problem is now our problem, too.

Let's work together and get this guy.

Michelle Carver says she can make a positive ID.

I'll call Ed Garrison right now. Excuse me, sir.

What's the matter, Ronnie?

I don't know how to say this. I mean, I hate to rat on a guy, especially one I

ride with.

But I just got off call with Jeff Hartley.

What did he do?

It's what he doesn't do is the problem, sir. The guy is... The guy smells rank,

sir.

Man, he stopped showering. And I don't know what to do. I feel really bad about

this. Wait a minute, wait a minute. The guy smells.

I'm in control. I got to lean my head out the window like a dog.

I'm serious, sir.

I can't take another tour with this guy, sir.

I mean, if you can just, I don't know, talk to him.

What do I say?

How am I supposed to tell a grown man to take a shower? I don't even have to do

that with my kid.

Please.

Hey, Jeff.

Morning, sir. Can I ask you a favor?

I'm getting ready for work this morning, and I see I don't have any deodorant.

Caruso only has the Roman.

You got the spray kind?

Oh, no, sir. In fact, I stopped using it altogether.

Showering, too. I take a bath in the East Bridge River once every other week.

Any particular reason?

Yes, sir. Very particular.

You see, this girl I met... She turned me on to the divine teachings of the

master, Swami Siva Kananada.

Kananada? I'm on the path of a seven -stage course of self -evolutionary,

-transcendental, spiritual, and divine self -realization. I think it's making

a better cop.

Better cop?

Yes, sir, and you see, I'm on stage one of the journey, stripping away the gross

Western obsession with the vanity of the body for the enrichment of the soul.

Well, let me see if I follow you.

Enrichment is in, deodorant is out? Yes, sir.

It's already helped me with my duties.

I've become centered and focused in each situation I encounter.

My arrest record reflects that.

All right.

Well, thanks anyway.

You're welcome.

Hi. You're, um, Shelley, right?

Yeah.

Hi.

Stan.

Kelly, right? Right. Hi.

So,

did you have a good day today?

No, it sucked big time.

I got another parking ticket at school today.

That'll be the second $30 parking ticket this semester.

Well, if your day was so bad, maybe we could go out for dinner. I don't know

they expect me to walk from the arts building to the library.

And so now I can't pay for my English lookbook.

Not the big, maybe just a pizza, a couple of beers.

All because of this dumb ticket, I swear.

I can fix it.

Excuse me?

I'm a cop.

I can take care of the ticket, no problem.

Would you like to, I don't know, go for pizza or something?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Commissioner... Scali, please.

This is he.

This is Michelle.

How quickly they forget.

Michelle from this morning?

How could I forget?

Is something wrong?

So this really is your private line?

Yeah. Only my friends can call me on it.

And my wife.

Good.

Always happy to make a new friend.

No, you're more than a friend.

You're my knight in shining armor.

And I'm your damsel in distress.

See you soon.

Ah, just another satisfied citizen.

They caught a guy in Westbridge last night. Imagine the description you gave.

I'm not positive.

I don't think I can pick the right guy.

You said you got a good look at him.

I was scared.

It was dark.

It was morning.

But my blinds were drawn.

I'm sure that none of these men is the guy that attacked me.

You said you weren't attacked.

I mean the one who broke in.

Michelle.

We were counting on you. Without your ID, we can't hold anyone.

Tony, I have to go.

Can I call you later? Can we talk, please?

Yeah, sure.

Take him back.

Tell Westbridge we're back to square one.

What was that?

Yesterday, she said she could definitely ID the guy.

Why'd she bother coming down here?

She didn't come down here to see them. She came to see you.

Get out of here.

Anthony.

Something going on?

Irv. Come on, I'd like to think you're capable of human frailty. I'm married 15

years. All the more reason for you to be curious.

She's attractive.

You gave her your private line because you wanted to see what would happen.

So she could make the first move.

No. There's no moves here.

Nobody's moving.

You get curious, sir?

If curiosity killed the cat, I'd died nine lives ago.

Hey, Jeff, you got a second?

Sir, something wrong?

Uh, yeah.

Hey, Jeff, uh...

You're a good guy, and I respect your journey to perfection and all, but I

want to get a drink at the fountain over there, and your lingering B .O. turned

the water into soup.

You see, here in America, we hide our many smells.

We fought wars for that privilege.

So, for your country, it's your patriotic duty to shower. For your

your fellow officers, I'm ordering you to use deodorant. And if I get one more

complaint, you're out.

Okay. And you're the boss.

Tell me to shower, I'll shower.

Great. Thank you, Jack.

So here's to, um... Finally working up the nerve to ask me out.

Geez,

I guess I'm glad you got that ticket.

My brother is not happy.

Your brother?

Yeah, I think it's him.

Parked on a hill and didn't turn his wheels to the, uh... Away from the curb.

Right. Who would ever remember that?

How bummed.

Well, um, bring it upstairs to me if you want.

Really?

You can take care of it?

No problem.

You're such a good friend.

You're not going to get any trouble, are you, Stan?

Me? No.

Listen.

It's not how the system works, silly.

It's how you work the system.

I'd like to take care of some tickets.

It'll be

$122.

Hello? Tony.

Tony, I need help.

He's trying to get in. Please hurry.

Michelle.

See anyone?

We just got here. Camilla's checking down the street.

Go back her up.

Michelle, is he still in here?

Tony, I'm so glad you're here.

I was afraid you weren't coming.

Are you cold? Do you want some coffee, some Irish cream, maybe?

Irish cream? What the hell's going on here?

Oh, Tony, don't be mad.

I heard something on the porch. I think he rattled the doorknob.

You think he rattled the doorknob?

You made it sound like someone was knocking the door down.

Listen, when someone pulls a fire alarm and it's a false alarm, they're in big

trouble. This is no different.

Tony, I've never had anybody special like you before.

Maybe I overreacted when I called tonight, but... There was never anyone,

there?

Not the first time, not tonight.

No, there was the first time. And he hurt me.

He'll try and hurt me again. He's out to get me. Who?

I can't help you if I don't have the truth.

Or my husband.

My ex -husband.

Richard, he hates that I've left him, and somehow he's found out where I live.

And he's the one who broke into the house?

Yeah, he took the wedding ring.

Then press charges against him.

I can't.

Because you didn't see him take it?

Well, because you never saw anyone.

No, because I can't.

Well, when you can, let me know.

You were supposed to hang the storm door. But now we're working together.

You know, making life easier for Rachel.

And really, for ourselves, huh, Tom?

Kind of our own little New World order.

Don't you think?

Yeah, I think.

Oh, hey, Tom, look at this. Wow.

A skylight kit.

You know, I could use more light in my room. It'd stop the mildew.

All you have to do is you cut a hole in the roof.

Pick him up.

Who says you can never find a cop when you need one?

Come on, I'm trying to pick out a new lock for my drawer. Help me pick one up.

Come on.

This is a little outside your neighborhood, isn't it?

Oh, Tony, you don't think I'm following you, do you?

No, no.

If I may solicit your professional opinion, which one would you suggest?

Uh... Well, if you want to keep me out, um...

Two -inch reinforced deadbolt ought to do it.

I don't want to keep you out.

I want to keep out my husband.

In fact, I'd even give you one of the spare keys.

Michelle, I... Oh, you know, I almost forgot I have something for you.

Um, I was going to drop it off later.

I'm sorry about the other night.

I hope you forgive me.

Gibraltar double pain.

Good choice, Arnie.

This will be phenomenal.

Took less time to build the Lincoln Tunnel, but Arnie, it's done.

One small step for man, huh?

Look, Arnie, the hardware store, I don't know what you

heard, but it's not what you think.

That woman, Michelle, she...

Oh,

great.

Thanks, honey.

Mom, this is great.

Can I get some more? Yeah, it's in the kitchen.

Where did a Jewish girl learn to cook manicotti like this?

From your Italian mother.

So, Tony.

Who's this babe throwing herself at you in the hardware store?

What was her name?

Michelle?

Michelle? Yeah, you know, the one who asked forgiveness for the other night?

What was that all about?

Oh, is this the woman that works in some salon?

You know, Tony, you should clean out your pockets if you want to hide things

from me.

I don't want to hide things from you.

What happened to the New World Order?

I don't know.

I kind of miss the old world.

Rachel. Honey.

This woman, Michelle Carver, she'd been robbed.

She claims that her husband has been out to hurt her. I see no evidence of this.

She's a scared person and lonely.

So desperate that people have to back away from her.

I don't see you backing away.

Rachel, this isn't like you.

All right.

I know that you're upset about the baby, and I know I haven't been

particularly... It's not just about the baby.

You're the only one in my life since high school.

Maybe that's the problem.

Maybe you're curious.

You've been talking to Irv.

I've just been listening to myself.

What do you mean? What are you saying?

Come on, Tony.

You're out there every day, and so am I.

I see all these women, and they're looking up to you, turning to you for

You don't see them first thing in the morning or a wreck after eight hours

teaching third graders.

Well, you don't see guys with guts in old boxer shorts yelling at their in

all day.

Does it bother you?

That I'm the only one you ever had sex with?

Oh, come on, Rachel. What kind of a question is that? If I say no, then you

I'm lying. See, it does bother you.

I know it bothers you.

Because it bothers me.

Does that mean we're in trouble?

No.

I don't think so.

It just means we're honest with each other. I think that's good.

Yeah, it's good.

You know, I give my student A's in conduct for honesty.

Yeah. He's here.

He's here, Tony.

Who is this?

Michelle. Michelle?

How'd you get this number?

I think he wants to kill me, Tony.

Michelle, if you're telling the truth, call 911.

I need help.

I need you.

Call 911. They can get there a lot quicker than I can.

Please believe me.

Oh, God.

Call 911.

I help you with something? I'm looking for a cop.

Well, you're in the right place.

You in some kind of trouble?

No. The cop is.

I'm gonna kick his ass.

He fixed a traffic ticket so he could get a date with my girlfriend.

Oh, really?

Huh. Well, uh, I know a bunch of cops around here.

Maybe I can help you. What's his name?

Kelly.

Stan Dweebo Kelly.

Stan Kelly.

Yeah.

You might try the next apartment in the Yonkers.

Tony, I thought you'd want to know. Carmela and Rose answered a call last

Yeah? That lady you know, Michelle Carver, guy broke into her home, beat

pretty bad. She's down at County.

Did your husband do this to you?

Talk to me.

I'm sorry.

I... I guess I was confused about our friendship.

Maybe I came on too strong.

Richard wouldn't let me make my own friends.

I'm out of practice.

He's a big shot vice president at IVK.

They'd ruin him.

What is he doing to you?

I don't want him to go to jail. I love him.

I just want him to love me too.

Is that such a crime?

You're not a criminal.

He is.

Do something about it.

The first day I met you, I called the police.

And when you got there, I couldn't tell the truth.

I just recovered for him like I always do.

Michelle, you're going to have to defend yourself.

If not through the law, then physically.

I can't beat him up.

No, but you can get a good thumb in the eye.

Or a kick in the groin or a knee?

What am I supposed to do? We're work boots around the house.

I'm not telling you to be Bruce Lee.

Just enough to incapacitate him so he can get out of the house.

I know about all those things.

I just can't bring myself to use them.

Well...

At least let me get a court order to keep him away from you so you can have

to think without being afraid.

At least do that for yourself.

Jeff, I thought we had an agreement.

Something about water and soap.

Yeah? Well, I've been thinking, and you've got no right to tell me what to

I don't. And you went on about this being American.

Well, in the Bill of Rights, one of the Ten Amendments says we've got this

freedom of religion thing here, and you can't tread on me.

Jeff, I don't care what your religion is.

I can respect the guy for making a moral choice, but the bottom line is, you

smell bad.

I'm filing a grievance with the union.

File away.

And I'll file a hundred against you for every officer who's subjected to Ode to

Hartley.

You know, you will never obtain divine transfiguration.

Never.

Oh, you can sure say that again.

I hope I'm in the right neighborhood.

I'm looking for a Richard Carver. You know him?

I got a restraining order here forbidding him to get 50 feet of this

I'm him.

Richard sent flowers to me.

I let him come over and we talked about things.

He cried and he promised that he'd never hit me again.

How many times has he broken that promise?

I can make this work out.

So I'm revoking my complaint.

I need this.

He's really sorry.

I am too.

I got a special assignment.

A little internal affairs work.

And since we don't have an IA division, when something comes up, I assign these

plum cases to the best.

You interested?

Yeah, absolutely. Very interested.

I got a tip that one of the cops on our force is fixing tickets.

I don't know the guy's name.

Is this really a big problem?

Huh. He could be taking kickbacks.

But even if he's not, this guy's hurting the work of his fellow officers.

And he's making it look to people like justice is for sale.

Okay.

You understand me?

Yes, sir.

The tickets in question are in that box over there. Maybe they'll help you.

I know who it is, boss.

Stan, you're a miracle.

Two minutes on the job and you already caught the guy.

Chief, let me explain.

I don't have a way with girls, okay? I mean, I just can't seem to get the ball

rolling, you know? I don't even know how to get it started.

But with the tickets, I could get it started.

I'm going broke paying them myself, but it feels good.

I mean, I think she...

She really likes me.

I'm sorry.

So what are you going to do to me?

Stan, what do you think I should do to you?

Um... I don't know.

A day or two on traffic duty, writing tickets.

Three days.

A week.

A week of, uh...

Traffic duty.

Beautiful.

Hi. Hi.

I'm looking for Michelle Carver. Yeah, she's just at the last chair.

Excuse me. Michelle Carver?

Hi. I had a little accident. I fell ice skating.

I'd like to get my hair done.

You know, we work by appointment only here, and I've got somebody coming in

right now. So do you want to set another time?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

What's your name?

Rachel.

Let's go.

Mr. Manwaring is here from the Policeman's Union, and Officer Hartley

way.

Mr. Manwaring, always a pleasure.

Hello, Scowler.

Kind of hot in here, ain't it?

Sorry I'm late, Commissioner.

Mr. Manwaring, thanks for coming down.

Please, have a seat.

Now, you boys have a grievance against me.

You've really stepped over the line this time, Scali.

We've got you cold.

Interfering with a man's right to practice his religion.

You sure you don't want to open a window in here, Scali?

Can you believe it?

It's painted shut.

You said his religion stinks.

His religion's fine.

He stinks.

Oh, again with the smelling.

You're a witness, Mr. Manwary.

Believe me, I'm more than a witness.

Son. You are emitting.

Well, whose side are you on?

Look, Western culture has turned its back on the natural sense of smell.

Now, I want to push this all the way up. Son, what you should be pushing up is

the inside of a deodorant container.

We'll never win this one.

Well,

I guess you win.

No.

The way I see it, Jeff,

We have achieved a divine union of spiritual transfiguration which has

both to grow as officers and gentlemen.

Moshe Bava.

I've got something to tell you.

Tony, I saw Michelle Carver today.

That's the long way she works.

Rachel, I told you she's back with her husband.

She had a black eye. Her lip was all cut.

She told me that it was an accident ice skating.

They always say that.

Well, they were made to say it.

I had a little accident. No.

It's hurting her again.

Isn't there something you could do?

There's always something you can do.

Oh, Michelle, there's a man sitting in your chair.

Can you take a little off the top? Very little?

If you know what I'm saying.

I know what you're thinking, but I swear I had a little accident.

I fell when I was ice skating.

Why are you lying?

I wouldn't lie to you, Tony.

Not to me.

Don't you get sick of having to cover for him?

I'm not going into this blind.

I haven't even moved back in with him yet.

He's staying at my apartment until I'm sure.

But, Tony, it's going to take some time for him to get better, and he promised.

And I know he's got it in him because he's so loving when he says he's sorry.

Michelle, it takes a lot of heart to overcome this.

He doesn't have it. You do.

When Richard abuses you, he takes your strength. That's why he does it.

How hard I have.

What are you waiting for?

I'm here to help you.

You know, maybe... Maybe if we talk about this before it happens. You know,

haven't done that before.

Is he a morning person or a night person?

What do you mean?

Is he in a better mood in the morning and the work day gets him aggravated so

he's a creep at night?

Or... Morning.

Okay.

Tomorrow morning, make him a nice breakfast.

Let him shower, get all woke up and together.

Then talk to him.

Tell him you love him, if you do.

Oh, yeah.

Then ask him why this happens.

Offer to work it out.

And tell him he has no other choice.

Or you leave.

And Michelle, if he gets violent, you have to defend yourself. I don't want to

see you in the hospital again.

Jeez, last night that would have sent shockwaves.

Last night was an earthquake. That was just a tremor.

What is going on here?

Flowers are pretty.

Richard, can we talk?

Sure.

I want to talk about what happens.

What happens when?

When we fight.

No, not that. Let's talk about last night.

No. Listen, I love you so much, but we can't fight anymore.

We? You mean me, don't you? I'm the bad guy, right?

No, I'm not blaming, I swear.

Is that what this is?

The flowers, the breakfast?

Is this some kind of setup?

No. Listen to me. I want us to be together.

I want us to talk.

We never talk until after you hit me.

Okay, we talked.

What did I do to deserve that?

I just want to talk.

I know. I'm sorry, babe. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Let's find out.

No. No. Richard, I'm sorry. No.

No. No, Richard, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No. You drive me to do this.

Don't you realize the pressure I'm under enough without you driving me crazy?

Yes. Don't you? Yes.

I think she smashed my kneecap.

Yes, uh, IVK?

I'm calling for a Richard Carver.

He won't be in today. He's, uh... He's had an accident.

Hello, Rich.

There we go.

You okay?

Nice boots.

Thank you.

This is all done.

I hope you don't get mad at me. I sent flowers to Michelle Carver from the both

of us.

She's pressing charges against her husband, and I want her to know that she

friends who support her.

That's nice.

Why do you think I'd be mad?

For the same reasons you went down there to check her out to begin with.

I went there to get my hair done.

All right, I confess.

I went there to check out the competition.

She's a very pretty girl.

I mean, she looks like someone that's got everything.

She doesn't have me, if that's anything.

I guess you're mine.

Curiosity and all.

In all these years of marriage, when you get right down to it, I'm still mostly

curious about you.