All language subtitles for The Comic Strip s05e04 Gregory Diary of a Nutcase

Hello.

My name's Gregory Dawson.

And this is my video diary.

No one's asked me to make it or anything
like that.

I'm not making it for a TV station.

It's just for me, really.

Just a record of some of the things I
get up to.

That's where I sit down.

At the telly.

some of my collection of videos this is
the kitchen

or kitchenette if you like that's where
i keep my plastic bags don't like

throwing them away i'm not um not really
what you pull much for share i

think beans and mash are my favorite
food i can't see the point in

changing really when you've got
something you like

back in the living room now another
plant not doing very well um

and this is my collection of knives and
blake

Ms. Bromley, I'm Governor Wilkins. I
understand you're doing a thesis on our

famous serial killer, Dr.

Phillips.

Thank you for granting my request to see
him.

My pleasure. Shall we?

After the last escape, it was the
judge's recommendation that we keep him

feet below ground level, 1 ,000 feet of
reinforced ballistic concrete. Every

second level is filled with a specially
designed disorientation vapor.

So how long have you been a police
cadet, Ms. Bromley?

Three days, sir.

Most of that was spent running through
the woods.

Well, no doubt a young, open mind like
yours will uncover everything there is

know about serial killers.

Whereas I, a governor for 30 years, know
nothing, apparently.

You seem a little bitter, Governor
Wilkins.

A little bitter.

And twisted, perhaps.

Sometimes.

Okay, so I'm unlikable.

And the more unlikable I am, the more
popular Dr. Genghis is.

Particularly with women. They find him
very attractive.

In what way?

Oh, he's smart. He's funny.

He's sexy.

He's well -read.

And somehow, he has a way of making us
normal guys look like queens.

This is a picture of me with a heart on
it.

I see nothing.

Sexy about a man who kills and eats
people.

Oh, yeah, that's what they all say.

You'll soon find out.

So he really is that dangerous?

Oh, yeah.

That dangerous.

After you.

Hi.

It's, uh, Monday night.

As you can see, I'm at the cinema.

I'll come here, um...

But every night, really.

I like it.

In the dark, you know, with the big
sound effects.

This is a very popular film.

It's won lots of awards.

It's got lots of killings in it, too.

I'd like to go in, if you don't mind, by
myself, Governor Wilkin.

Are you crazy?

I was sorry to hear about your father,
by the way.

Was the launch time ago?

Yeah. Who cares?

Genghis, wake up. You have a visitor.

He's up to his old tricks again.

He's in there somewhere.

Come on. Get up, Genghis. Hiding in the
straw.

Come on. Yeah!

Governor, governor.

The cell door's open.

My glasses. They've gone.

Oh, no. I can't believe this has
happened again.

The killing's going to start again, and
there's nothing you or I can do about

it.

Killing like this.

And this.

Oh, and this.

And, oh, that's really disgusting.

And this one.

It's okay, sir.

We found him. Back in the dining room
with all the tape.

Nothing yet goes from the top to its
roots.

Ali said to George, you won't beat me in
evidence.

George. George who?

George Foreman.

Sure,

he uses it all the time. The train was
in the tunnel. The wizard was getting

drunk. The princess was crawling, slippy
sliding in us. You monster!

Get him in his cell!

Come on!

Slippy sliding in my Bible.

No one is not in the Bible!

It is not. It is not. No.

Don't hurt him. It is in the Bible.

Give me a kiss.

A kiss. Get this woman out of here. Get
her out of here. Come on.

She's getting moist.

You filthy, disgusting,

dirty, mucky bastard. A bitch. Let's
kiss on my lips, Lucille.

Leave behind your fly me to the bottom.

It's got some good bits in it.

Yeah, ain't that the truth.

There's a bit too much talking in
places, but it must have been so right.

Hey, this is a good bit.

You sure

you don't need a lift home, Patsy?

Forget it.

I won't let you within a mile of my
house.

You're a cop.

I hate this girl.

I'm glad she gets killed.

Sure you're going to be okay walking
across that piece of dark, waste ground

your own?

I'll walk where I choose, asshole.

Well, be sure and call me when you get
home, okay?

Shut up.

See what I mean.

concrete mixer and these bricks and
putting them in the back of the truck.

Okay.

Signature, you know.

Oh, thanks.

It might be easier if you tried sticking
your head in the concrete mixer.

Put my head in what?

Inside the mixer.

You stick your head up your ass.

The film's finished and then I'll just
casually slip out with the rest of the

crowd.

Great film.

It's given me some really good ideas.

Guess what I'm doing?

I'm building a torture chamber.

I got these bricks off a building site,
cost me about 300 quid.

And they're just standing at the end.

And the higher the mixer.

I mean, it all adds up.

It's a bit of a project for me. I've
never done anything like this before.

But I think, you know, if I just take my
time and use a bit of common sense.

I'm just having a bit of a break.

It's about three o 'clock in the morning
now.

I've got a plate of my favourite.

Cup of tea?

Bit of telly?

This is a nice one.

Basic instinct.

This woman, she takes off all her
clothes, sits on this bloke and

stabs him in the eye.

It's about two, one, four, five, I
think.

Well, this is it then.

I think I might put a carpet in here and
I'm finished.

See what it feels like.

I think when it's all done, you know, no
one's ever going to get out of it.

Let's give it a bit of a slam.

Lieutenant Delaney, sir, we've got some
more info on that girl who wound up in

the cement mixer. Yeah.

Turns out she's not just a loudmouth
disposable victim nobody cared about.

She's the daughter of a very rich
senator, Frank.

Okay.

Let's pull out all the stops on this
one.

McFadden, I want Officer Bromley put in
charge of this case.

Sir, she's only 15.

She has no experience police work, sir.
So what?

She's got a feel for this killer.

Bromley, come with me. I want to talk to
you.

Now, understand this, Bromley.

This is a real situation.

There's nothing sensational about this
case. It's real, and we don't like that

one little bit.

In order to help you understand exactly
how real this really is, I'm going to

show you a dead body.

But I'm not going to show it to you in a
sensational way.

No special lighting. The body's going to
be laid on a cold slab.

So that it's horrible, it's disgusting,
it's graphic, it's real, real, real.

And one more thing.

I don't want any girly reactions when we
get in there.

Just keep a blank face at all times,
okay?

Let's go in.

Well,

this is the body, Officer Brumley.

What happened to the leg, Johnson?

Oh, it's here, in a separate bag with
the arm.

Blank face, Officer Bromley.

Wait a minute, what's that?

What?

That postage stamp stuck to your
forehead.

So there is.

I hadn't noticed that before.

Just goes to show what sort of clues are
there right in front of your eyes.

You really are a pain in the ass.

It's Tuesday.

It's about 9 .30. It's just not dark.

And I'm on the common.

Well, actually, it's a bit of waste
ground, really.

It's just used as a shortcut between the
houses back there and the hospital.

People have been complaining that it's
very badly lit.

That's no problem to me now, because
I've got these.

Night vision glasses.

cost about six thousand quid some of
this special faith attachment they're

aren't they

make

everything all green and fuzzy i had to
sell my car to get them

never used it much anyway you can see a
lot of uses for these

though

This is what it looks like.

See, I look really green, don't I?

It's quite dark now, so let's go for a
bit of a prowl around, shall we?

I'm going to be holding the camera as we
go along, so off we go.

That's a bush.

That's a tree.

Looks just like the Gulf War, doesn't
it?

I'd better talk really quietly now, in
case she can hear us.

Oh, it's good, isn't it?

We can see her, but she can't see us.

I hope I don't tread on any twigs or
sticks.

In fact, I can't see where I'm putting
my feet at all.

Come on, let's get a bit closer.

It's very badly lit around here.

I smell gas.

I think it must be in a gas works hole.

Where's Dr. Genghis?

I had him moved to Tennessee.

For what reason, Governor Wilkins?

Oh, the usual motives.

Ambition, malice, jealousy.

Jealous of the way you looked at him.

Of the way he was allowed to talk dirty
to you, and I wasn't.

So I'm just a fleas ball, am I?

Just because I haven't killed anybody,
I'm not so interesting, is that it?

I find your attitude somewhat...
Unpleasant, Governor Wilkinson.

I'll probably get killed. I'm so
unpleasant.

But my unpleasantness is something
you're just going to have to get used

Miss Bromley.

Along with this.

You men have a difficult job here.

What you're harboring here is a beast.

You have to treat him with the greatest
respect.

This man is dangerous.

Now, for reasons that I cannot explain
right now, and probably never will,

it has been decided that we will not
follow the usual procedure concerning

movement of this human killing machine,
which means that rather than stick him

in a high -security jail with all the
lights, the alarms, the cameras,

We're going to put him in this local
library for the night.

Yes, yes, I know. With all the fire
exits and the dark passageways and the

down to the bus stop.

We have to be extra careful.

I want 50 of you guarding him on each
ship.

Charlie, Max, since you were the last to
arrive, you can have the first watch on

Genghis. The rest of you, stand around
looking worried and keep your eyes on...

It's me again.

It's about a week later and I've been

moved to this mental hospital.

Whatever that is.

Mental hospital, physical hospital.

And they've

put

my neck in one of these.

Which is quite good really, isn't it?

They said they're going to keep me in
for assessment for a few weeks and I

go until they've done that.

But let me keep the camera, which is
good, isn't it? Because it means I can

on with my diary.

Which they said they'd be very keen to
have a look at.

And there's some quite interesting
people in here.

That's Pete, he's just very depressed

the way he looks at me, Max.

How's he look at you, Charlie?

Well, he looks at me like I'm some kind
of a sandwich.

I mean, you sure it's okay with us two
old guys up here while we got all those

tough guys hanging out downstairs?

I mean, we're alone with him here. We
got no video cameras, no bulletproof

glass. No one's been to see if we're
okay, Max. Charlie, Charlie.

You picked the champagne up.

Oh, no.

Well, you're not scared, are you,
Charlie? I'm scared. You've got

nothing to be worried about.

I'm not worried.

Excuse me. I've come to see Dr. Genghis.

Sure. Help me, Bill.

Oh, can I have your weapon, please,
lady?

Sure.

Sure.

Second door on the left, lady.

Am I the man that you thought that I am?
If I'm not, then I think that you got a

problem about me. But about the way that
I see, am I a hero with a conscience or

just no teeth?

Okay, I look good with my eyes and my
hair, and I can wiggle my way to your

with my stare. Am I worth your interest?
Does anyone care for a man who's a

monster who likes everything rare?

Let's play that game where we're both
blindfolded and we gotta find each

Yeah! Watch my face. It's the face of a
man who goes...

And then I'm stuck in the air. I'm
superior smart and I ain't got much

hair.

I know that you're a monster and that
you've done terrible things, but I can't

get you out of my head, Genghis.

Loda.

I can't resist you. You turn me on so
much.

The way you look at me with those deep,
penetrating eyes, probing my every

thought. Loda.

The way you... Mr.

Genghis, sir.

Here's your second dinner.

How long have we been standing around
here looking worried?

I don't know. A couple hours.

Supposing that guy really is a monster,
and as clever as they say.

How long do you think it would take him
to kill Max, then string up Charlie

after he's found the rope to hang him up
with, swap clothes with Max, or ambide

his face off, then somehow put Max on
top of the elevator and walk out of here

actually wearing his face?

Night, Max.

Run it by me again, Jade.

All right, everyone.

Bedtime now. Back to your rooms, please.

Come on. It's Nurse Larkin again.

When she comes to tell me to go to bed,
I'm going to stab her with this pen, and

then I'm going to put on her dress, and
then I'm going to unlock all the doors

with this pen. And you, Gregory, come
on. Oh, can I have that pen back,

What pen?

The one I lent you to have that last
time.

I'm going to stop you with this pen.

Gregory, if you don't put that pen back,
I'm going to re -break your head.

It's about 15 seconds later now, and
this is what they call a straight

I don't think I'll be seeing you for a
while now, because Nurse Larkin's just

given me a massive dose of...

This is not real anymore.

This is not a real situation. Do you
understand, Officer Bromley? Yes, sir.

I don't want any more of this low -key
police work, month of patient work

looking at files and filling in
questionnaires. From now on, it's

high -risk police work. So any crazy
idea you have, any hunch, I want you to

follow it up. Yes, sir.

Jed, what are the serial killers that
we're chasing?

Postman Pan.

Okay, follow up that stamp clue.

But what about Genghis?

Forget him, Lucille. He's too old for
you.

Yeah? Sir, we've got an address here in
the name of P. Pat.

Someone said they saw someone answer in
the killer's description. Go in there.

Lucille, I want you to check this out.
And I want you to go on your own. No

backup, no radio.

You're on your own, you understand?

Oh, sir.

And the rest of you, no hiding in the
bushes in case anything goes wrong.

Oh, shoot.

Just go there, knock on the door.

If the killer answers, don't try and
arrest him.

Just keep chatting until he gets
suspicious and tries to kill you. And

chase him around the house until one of
you is dead. Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

The rest of you, come with me for a
plane ride.

All right.

They're getting down.

A plane ride.

If never you mind, just take your
travels over.

Hi,

it's me again.

I didn't escape in the end. They had
problems with the budget and they had to

let me go.

Six months went quite quickly, really.

All the drugs they gave me.

And you know that girl that I was
stalking, Helen?

Well, she came to visit me in hospital a
couple of times and she's really very

nice.

In fact, I've got her down here in this
pit.

Gregory!

Yeah?

I had to redo all these bricks. Gregory!

I managed to use all the ones that I had
there before.

I haven't got the same problem with the
door. Now it's more of a pit.

That was a bit of a silly idea, really.

She's tried climbing out of this a
couple of times, but you can't do it,

you, Helen?

Fucking little wanker. I'm going to shut
that camera so far up your ass when I

get out of here. You don't want to live
in holy fucking terror!

Hi, it's about 20 minutes later, and
I've just been trying to explain to

what it is that I enjoy about this
situation.

And it's really the sense of power that
I have over her.

And, you know, her subservience to me.

And, you know, generally the whole air
of hopelessness in the situation.

I'm so frightened, Gregory!

I'm raining.

Then I'm going to put your head in the
car boot and drive away. The only reason

I'm keeping it down there is I'm a bit
scared of what she might do to me when I

let her out.

Don't answer the door, Gregory. The
neighbors will get suspicious if you

it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I better hide.

I live just down the street, and I've
lost my cat.

Can I come in? You've lost your cat?

Yes. What's his name?

Fluffy.

Fluffy? Yes.

I don't recall seeing a cat by that name
around here.

Are you sure I can come in one way?

Did you ever want to be the fairy on the
Christmas tree?

Yeah. I did.

You have a problem with your roof?

A problem? Oh.

Must be a hole in the attic. I haven't
been up there for so long.

Do you have a problem being a girl?

Because I used to have a problem being a
girl.

And I found that those problems led to
other problems.

And sometimes I find people like you a
problem.

Jingle bells, jingle bells.

So you haven't seen any cats, then?

Cats? Oh.

Fluffy.

Well, maybe I'll just go look in the...

We do have many other times in
opportunities, both in East Germany and

And, of course, for a legal sum of £4
,000, you've got to find the evidence.

It's not me you want. It's my twin
brother. I am the fairy on the Christmas

tree. I'm talking you to killing 400
people.

Prove it, sister.

This table she's got a letter. Five
years ago.

Okay. Rock and roll.

Let's party.

Five minutes later now.

As you can see, things aren't doing very
well for me.

Ow!

I think I'm being buried alive.

I tried it.

Helen?

Helen!

Help!

Helen!

Hello.

It's been two days now.

I thought they'd have found me by now.

We have been shouting, but no one seems
to have heard me.

I better save the battery.

I don't know how long I've been here
now.

I think I'm going.

I think I'm going.

Oh, bollocks.

Well, Lucille, on behalf of the
department, I'd like you to accept this

token of our esteem.

Thank you, sir.

We've just heard that Dr. Genghis is in
Tahiti.

He's just eaten Governor Wilkins.

Oh, my God.

He had it coming. Nobody can act like
that and expect to live.

But he told me he changed.

You can't change a man like Genghis.

You've got to love him for what he is.

And anyway, most of his victims are
pretty anonymous.

What do you mean, anonymous?

Nobody knew him. Nobody cares.

That's just the way it is.

They're gone.

He's still loose.

And you know something?

I quite like it that way.

Excuse me, Officer Bromley. There's a
Dr. Genghis on the line.

What should I do?

Well, if he asks you out to dinner, go
vegetarian.

Now get out of here.

Yeah. Yes, I'll pray to her. I'll accept
the charges.

Hi.

How are you?

I really don't know what my feelings
are.

I've got nothing to wear.

What is it about a mass murderer with an
English accent that women find so

attractive?

I wish I knew.

I just don't think it's a good idea.

Just one of those things, I guess.

Flight number what?

I hope it works out for them.

She's met a match, Jeff.

He's smart.

He's sexy.

He's her intellectual equal.

Sure it'll work out.

Hi. I'm back in hospital for good this
time.

Must have been down that hole for about
five days.

Think I passed out twice.

Think Helen must have tipped off the
police if they came and got me out.

at all.

Still, at least she didn't torture me.

Much. All right, Gregory, turn that
camera off. I'm computing it. Am I

Yes, nurse.

Anyway, the good news is that Central TV
have bought my diary and they're going

to show it late one night on telly.

It's good, isn't it?

Is there anything?

Really killed someone that they would
have shown at prime time.

Still, you can't have everything, can
you?

Good night.

On a brighter note.

Thank you for joining us live on the
air. My pleasure.

One nation under God has turned into one
nation

under the influence.

Of one drug.

Television. The drug of a nation.
Breeding ignorance and feeding

television. The drug of a nation.
Breeding ignorance and feeding

TV. Its satellite links our United
States of unconsciousness.

Apathetic, therapeutic, and extremely
addictive.

The methadone metronome.

pumping out 150 channels 24 hours a day,
where toothpaste in cars have become

sex objects, where imagination is sucked
out of children by a

cathode ray nipple. TV is the only wet
nurse that would create a cripple.

Television, the drug of a nation,
breeding ignorance, feeding radiation on

television.