All language subtitles for The Comic Strip s04e03 GLC The Carnage Continues

Good evening and welcome to the charity
gala premiere performance of the new

motion picture, GLC.

Well, as you can see, it's certainly a
glittering night for the stars here

tonight on this warm evening here in the
heart of London's West End. Earlier on

this evening, I spoke to one of the
stars of GLC, Charles Bronson, who plays

part of Ken Livingston. There's a story
about an ordinary guy.

whose wife and family gets wiped out by
these creeps.

So, naturally, he has to follow them and
wipe them out one at a time in a

prolonged and very cruel way.

Mm -hmm, I see. Thank you. And what next
for Bronson?

Well, we'll get a new twist next time.
We're doing a film about a guy who's...

whose wife and family aren't wiped out,
but who decided to go after creeps just

the same. Well, thank you very much, Mr.
Bronson.

Thank you. Thank you, Alex. God bless
you. We've just heard that Cher has

arrived with the usual phalanx of highly
trained bodyguards.

Miss Cher, Miss Cher.

Excuse me, Miss Cher.

I'm from the BBC.

Might I have a few words with you?

Well, Cher, perhaps... a little nervous
there, obviously rather worried about

what the reaction is going to be to this
highly controversial new film in which

she stars as Joan Ruddock.

But now it's time for us to see what you
at home think while we take a sneak

preview of the exciting new motion
picture, GLC.

You've never had it so good.

And thanks to the Tories, every home has
a colour TV.

And the shops are full of potatoes.

We're the caring party.

Yes, we are.

So vote for me. Vote for Horace.

Vote for free enterprise.

Free petrol.

Hey,

you kids all right in there? You okay?

Kids, kids, kids, hey, what's going on
here?

Cool it, cool it. Get your hands off
that child.

Mommy, mommy.

Who are you?

What are you doing here?

Isn't it a little late to be leaving
your children on their own?

I'm a single mother.

I got no choice.

Somebody's got to stop those cruise
missiles.

Otherwise, none of these kids got a
future.

Babies, not bombs.

Makes sense.

So vote for me.

Vote for Horace. Vote for free gifts.

Free drinks.

Listen to me.

This city's falling apart.

And what's this guy done to help us over
the last ten years?

Nothing.

Well said.

Communist rubbish.

Isn't there anyone amongst you who's
going to take on these fat cats?

I'm Ken Livingstone. I live upstairs.

Not Dr.

Livingstone, I presume.

No, I'm not a doctor. Well, not in a
medical sense.

It was a joke.

A joke.

So who are you?

Joan Reddick Sandy.

Pleased to meet you, Joan.

Horace is running for the leadership of
the GLC again. You're the only man who

can take him on and win.

No, no.

Not me.

I'm through with committees and long
sessions and procedure.

This is my life now.

This old river gives me everything I
need.

You better find yourself another man.

Or a woman.

But what if I told you that Horace is
going to flood the whole of South

He's going to turn it into marina.

County Hall's going to be a yacht club.

He can't do that. He's crazy.

It's the Ice Maiden's idea.

He'll go through with it, all right.

Besides, who's going to stop him?

You've done it, Ken.

You've won.

You're the new leader of the GLC. The
results for the GLC election are... are

follows. Kenneth John Livingstone,
Labour, 9 ,549

,602.

Screaming Anthony Lord Such, Monster
Raving Loony Party, 814 votes.

Sir Horace, Conservative, 64.

Mrs. Thatcher will see you now, Sir
Horace.

You

lost.

Yes.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Thatcher. I really am.

I can paint hard.

I did all I could to hold on to the
marginals.

I really did. I'm sorry.

I'm very, very sorry.

Come here.

Of course you've worked hard. And of
course you're tired and old and useless.

Yes, I need to change. Of course you do.

And you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to change your face.

This is the Greater London Council.

I'm so sorry, the council are in
session.

Who the hell are you? I'm the new leader
of the GLC.

Oh, wonderful. Come on in. Have a drink.

Piece of cake.

You know what I mean. Party's over. Put
your clothes on, honey, and go home.

You can't do this.

You know who I am.

I'm the Lord Mayor of London.

Was it?

Get the hell out of County Hall.

You won't get away with this.

I'll get you for this, you working class
scum.

I'll hunt you down.

You'll see.

Sly, how are you making speeches?

Well, I've never really...

Start practicing, you're the new Lord
Mayor.

Oh, well, thank you.

Okay.

Those of you that don't know, my name's
Ken Livingstone.

I'm looking for counselors who ain't
afraid to get their hands a little

You, what do you do? London transport,
trains and buses, sir. Half the fares,

old people travel for free.

Sorry, sir? You heard me.

Yes, sir.

Joan, go to the bank, borrow some money
for CND.

I want those cruise missiles out by
Christmas.

Sure, Ken.

You,

I want you to take care of the black
minorities.

Set up theaters, sports centers,
recreational grounds. Yes, sir. And

some women.

You, start a new movement. Call it Gay
Pride.

Let's get those gays out of the closet.

Oh, yes, sir.

All right, let's move it up. Come on,
let's shake this city up.

I can do for you, mister?

What do I smoke?

I suppose you tell me who you are.

My name is Ben.

Tony Ben.

Tony Ben. Well, I'll be damned.

They say you were selling to a firebrand
in your time.

That's what they say.

So you in on this then, Ben?

Maybe.

What in the hell is that supposed to
mean?

You're doing us all wrong.

If you're going to win, you need the
support of the party. Screw the party.

doing this my way.

I knew a guy like you once.

He was a minister in the house.

He didn't know what fear was until he
saw the ice maiden.

Then one day, he tried to take her on,
just like you're doing now.

So what happened?

This.

Well, I'm sorry about your chest, Tony.

But this is one red that ain't staying
under the bed.

Rules!

He's turning this city upside down and
you are doing nothing!

Stop him! Get rid of him!

Tony's much too popular.

Then get rid of the TLC.

Kill Livingston!

Kill him!

Yeah, we'll double the race in the rich
areas.

Yeah, and I want some clamping to start
around here.

Joan, you look terrific.

You forgot.

What? Our dinner date this evening.

Oh, that.

Well, you see, I'm having a barrier
built across the Thames.

I have to go and check that they put it
in the right place, so you see... So

dinner's off.

I'm sorry, Joan.

I need this barrier.

I need to keep the sea out.

No, that's okay.

I ain't hungry anyways already.

Go play with your dam.

I'll eat alone.

Joan?

Joan?

Joan! Go to hell, Mr. Livingstone, you
laughing shit!

Excuse me, Mr. Livingstone, but what
color would you like it, please?

You want it flush red, didn't you,
Harry? No, marine blue, I told you. No,

got to be lagoon blue, isn't it?
Otherwise, how are you going to see it

dark? I'm sorry, guys. I can't make your
color decisions for you.

You'll have to handle it yourselves.

Sable grey?

Crazy kind of light. Have you ever seen
sable grey when it's dry?

your pretty barrier, Ken.

What the hell are you doing here?

I want my gold chain back.

Yes, that was mighty unconstitutional of
you, Ken.

Have you met the boys, Ken?

This is Alderman Crazy James Fairchild
and his half -brother, Giles Cricketbat

Portland.

Just get the hell off my barrier. But we
paid our rates, too, don't we, crazy?

Yes, it's our jam jam, too, you know.
Get it?

Damn!

Are you building any hospitals, Ken?

Because you're going to need one real
soon.

Can I join you?

Sure.

I like what you're doing to Cruz.

Are you trying to pick me up?

No. Well, try.

What have you got to lose?

We are finding peace.

We are finding peace.

What are you trying to do?

Kill me?

Are we getting any, Daddy?

I don't know, but it looks real
friendly.

Have you always been alone?

You mean why have I never married?

I guess so.

Well, you know the old saying.

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a
bicycle.

I guess you just...

Never met the right bicycle.

Maybe.

What does it say?

We're getting a new bicycle.

I knew this would happen. It's getting
worse.

Why? What's happened?

It's banned at the L .C.

Why?

Too wild.

Too popular.

Huh. Too handsome, you mean.

Maybe. Who's too handsome?

You are.

Where are you going?

I've got to see the one man who can help
us.

What's he talking about?

Well, if I was as wild and handsome as
Ken, which I'm not, but if I was,

there's one person I'd want to see.

Who's that?

The Prince of Wales.

Let's grow plums.

That's interesting.

Ever seen this one before?

Try chapter 10, sir.

Growing plums in a clay soil.

It's a good read.

Yes, thank you, I will.

Who are you?

Your Majesty, my name's Ken.

I've got to talk to you.

Charlie! Charlie!

Charlie!

Come on, you bad money.

Come on, you potty prince!

Charlie!

Time for your special bickies!

Hey! Lubey! Where are you? I'm just
coming. Listen, your people need you.

they? Have you any idea what's happening
in your kingdom?

The Ice Maiden's trying to destroy it,
and you're the only person who can stop

her. But, you see, I have to remain
impartial.

It's very important for democracy.

Take a look over that wall and see how
impartial you feel then, sir.

Oi!

What are you doing up that ladder, you
constitutional crap -pot, you?

I want one of those recorder things so
that I can make a speech on the

It ain't even Christmas time yet, Loopy.
Yeah, so get down off the ladder and

come and have one of your special
bickies, you raw nutcase you are.

No!

Good evening.

It is my sad duty to have to inform you
that our beloved Prince of Wales, whom

all of you know has been unwell for some
time, is unlikely ever to appear in

public again.

Of course, his head will remain on the
money and on the stamps, but not on his

shoulders.

You can wipe that bit.

I can assure you he is receiving the
very best medical attention from my

own personal surgeon.

It's midnight, Charlie. Only six more
hours to go.

I brought

you

some hot coffee.

Lacked the three sugars, wasn't it?

Do you remember?

I remember a lot of things.

I remember a time when you would have
been out there doing what Ken's doing

right now.

Maybe. Two parts pee to one part sand.

Now that's interesting.

I'd finish that book later if I were
you, sir.

Hold on tight it's a long way down.

I'm 20.

Go with that.

Holy shit.

And over there.

Looks like this is it, Tony.

And don't say maybe.

Why not?

You say it all the time. It's all you
ever say.

Maybe.

See there, you said it again.

Did I? Yeah.

Send out Ken Livingston and no one will
get hurt.

We only want Ken Livingston. That's all
we're here for. Ken Livingston.

Well, you heard what the man said.

What do you want to do?

Actually, I wouldn't mind actually
staying in the fight, but I'm a family

and I've been really out there. Yeah,
okay.

Go to your family, Roy.

Good luck, everyone.

Anyone else?

What about you, Kinnock?

Uh, well, I... I think we ought to take
a vote on it.

Don't you?

If voting changed anything, that'd
abolish it.

Oh, I agree, I agree. But I think, uh, I
think my time would be better served if

I, uh, used my influence in the House of
Commons.

Yeah?

Like you did in the abolition debate?

I, I, I... I...

I really don't know what you mean.

I've been wanting that for a long time.

What about you alternative comedians?

You're pretty hot at the benefits. How
are you in a cura?

Well, actually, I've got a voiceover at
five.

We're doing lunch with Michael Graves.
Yeah, great, Jess.

Sorry, Ken, I'm opening a supermarket.

Floms be cold and moist.

There be two sorts of them, black and
red.

What about you, Scargill?

You got a voice over at five o 'clock?

Just give me a gun.

What about you, McGaffey?

I'm in.

Alfred?

Hatton? Hatton?

He's at Springfellows.

Is that everybody?

I'm staying.

No, Joan, not you.

Oh, yeah?

What about sexual equality?

There's nothing sexy about one of these,
Joan.

It's concerning.

They have virtue to smooth and polish ye
bowels.

What do you think?

Sam is here.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm going to speak to them like you said
I should.

British people haven't killed a monarch
in 300 years.

Doesn't mean they won't start now.

One has a duty.

I don't care if your blood's blue or
not.

It sure ain't yellow.

Thank you.

I was reminded, on my way to County
Hall, of that very amusing

sketch by the goons, in which Blue
Bottle, dressed as an Eccled Cake

and singing Ying Tonged Lai Po, falls
backwards into a vat

of the Queen's household custard.

I don't get it, do you?

He's got a good sense of humor, though.
And that's very much how I feel today.

Looking down on these superb weapons
trained on oneself.

That was funny.

I don't get it.

Looks like the kid's done it.

It is therefore my profound hope.

that the power of this country should
rest with the people, and not with a

whom one suspects is not of this earth.

And now, it gives me very great pleasure
to present to you the man who's done

the most to save this great city of
ours. I give you the leader of the GLC,

Mr. Ken Livingstone.

You better get out there.

Couldn't have done it without you, Ben.

Get out there.

You're the handsome one.