All language subtitles for The Comic Strip s03e05 Didnt You Kill My Brother
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1
00:00:06,730 --> 00:00:09,170
Well, I can think of easier ways to pass
your driving test.
2
00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:15,210
And talking of passing tests, today
Britain's most qualified criminal was
3
00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:18,670
released from Wandsworth Prison. While
serving his sentence, he's gained a
4
00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:25,350
staggering 428 educational
qualifications, including 147 O -levels,
5
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:27,450
-levels, and he's acquired a Liverpool
accent.
6
00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:34,150
He's a trained hairdresser, has 19
BSc's, 8 BA's, an MA and 4 PhD's, and
7
00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:38,250
been awarded a gold medal by the
Académie Française for his contributions
8
00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:39,250
new cuisine.
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00:00:39,510 --> 00:00:43,730
And who should this egghead be but none
other than one of the notorious Moss
10
00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:48,750
brothers, Karl Moss, who, along with his
brother Sterling, pursued a joint reign
11
00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:52,990
of terror in northeast London gangland
in the mid -70s. They masterminded a
12
00:00:52,990 --> 00:00:56,770
string of protection rackets, gambling
clubs and dress hire shops.
13
00:00:57,340 --> 00:01:01,480
Karl Moss was finally arrested during a
bungled robbery, convicted of complicity
14
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:06,320
in the murders of fireplace Eric
Driscoll, cheese dish Jim McSweeney, and
15
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:10,640
controversial decision, was sentenced by
the notorious Judge Haight to 100
16
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,640
strokes with the lash, transportation to
the colonies, and 80 years community
17
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:19,100
service. The sentence was commuted to 30
years imprisonment by the appeal court.
18
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,480
Because of his astounding educational
qualifications,
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00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:27,960
He was granted parole today after
serving only five years of his 30 -year
20
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:28,960
sentence.
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00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:34,460
He'll be released into the care of his
probation officer and sociology teacher,
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00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,300
Mrs Pauline Sneak.
23
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,960
Well, I wonder if he's passed his
driving test.
24
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,220
And that's all for tonight. Tomorrow
night, a special report from Gordon
25
00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:48,640
on the missing bicycles of Tottenham.
But meanwhile, from Alastair and myself,
26
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:49,900
good night.
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00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,860
You cop while I'm doing a voiceover
again, I'll do you.
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00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:10,680
Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't
you kill my brother?
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00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,200
Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't
you kill my brother?
30
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,660
Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't
you kill my brother?
31
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,100
Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't
you kill my brother?
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00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:34,680
While
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00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:41,640
you've
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00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:44,520
been relaxing inside, I've been butting
a gut getting you a job.
35
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,180
This is where you'll be working.
36
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,580
Years ago, this place used to be a
school.
37
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:26,899
Yeah, I know.
38
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:28,540
Me and Sterling, we were kids there.
39
00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:30,260
God, it was a rough school.
40
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,960
All the teachers that were inside us
were dead.
41
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:37,260
You used to have to write on slates as
well. It was bloody dangerous going up
42
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,260
the roof to get them.
43
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,600
Part of it's still a community centre
and old people's day centre, but they're
44
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:43,600
closing it down.
45
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,680
The new policy is to integrate the old
people with society by letting them roam
46
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:48,800
round the streets all day.
47
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:56,260
Mostly it's a young adults retraining
centre, training young adults for the
48
00:03:56,260 --> 00:03:57,840
needs of a technological future.
49
00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,660
You'll be working here until we get
married.
50
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,800
Then I think it'll be time for you to
move on.
51
00:04:11,079 --> 00:04:15,060
Wainwright and Laidlaw, Conan Friction
Drive, Variable Speed Laid.
52
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,579
Never been used.
53
00:04:20,019 --> 00:04:22,600
T .I. Reynolds 531 Cycle Tubing.
54
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,720
Takamichi Mainframe Computer.
55
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,680
God, you could take over the world with
that.
56
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,340
Why isn't anybody using this gear?
57
00:04:34,660 --> 00:04:38,940
Technology changes so fast these days,
it's better for the kids just to sit and
58
00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:39,940
sit there.
59
00:04:40,510 --> 00:04:44,490
Wait. Yeah, but you can make some great
stuff with this equipment.
60
00:04:44,990 --> 00:04:45,990
Making things?
61
00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:50,030
I don't want to go on Wogan with a man
who makes things. This isn't the 70s.
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00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:53,010
Anyway, the CBI would never stand for
it.
63
00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:59,710
If I catch you making things, you'll be
back inside pissing in a tin pot before
64
00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:01,230
you can say Amnesty International.
65
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:08,030
Carl, you're going to be an unstructured
activities coordinator.
66
00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:14,930
Hey, perhaps I could go and stay at the
Released Offenders Hostel in Redbridge.
67
00:05:15,450 --> 00:05:18,090
Carl, you're a free man.
68
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,230
You're not going anywhere.
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00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:22,830
Here we are.
70
00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:31,830
You start at nine tomorrow.
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00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:41,220
Throw it away.
72
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:46,700
Smash it. Smash it. Break it in the
pieces. Throw it away.
73
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:21,120
Just to show you that I trust you
completely and respect you as a person,
74
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,420
going to give you the keys to the
basement where we live.
75
00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:28,340
Why don't you go in first, on your own,
in a totally relaxed and casual way?
76
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:30,040
Oh, OK, then.
77
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:44,420
Daddy, I told you he mustn't know we're
connected. Look, shut the door and talk
78
00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:45,420
to me through the letterbox.
79
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,080
Hello? Hello?
80
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:54,960
Hello?
81
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,860
Just stay out of sight.
82
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,800
The thing is that I've found out I've
got a brain like an apple Macintosh.
83
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:38,260
And what I want to do, I want to help
people.
84
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:43,980
I want to find a cure for a serious
disease or write some beautiful songs
85
00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:44,980
John Denver.
86
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,240
Don't try up with that.
87
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,320
It's not a tea towel.
88
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,560
It's a Herdman's Jalaba from
Afghanistan.
89
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,720
You're not going to help people, Carl.
90
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,660
I have plans for you.
91
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,380
It's not every day I cure a diseased
psyche like yours.
92
00:07:59,930 --> 00:08:00,930
Leave the knife.
93
00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:04,530
Kids, come and meet Carl.
94
00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:07,050
This is Laura and this is Ashley.
95
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:10,930
Kids, this is Carl, who's going to be
living with us.
96
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:12,610
Hello there, Laura.
97
00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:13,990
How old are you, then?
98
00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:18,430
Physically, I'm eight, but my teacher
says I've got the emotional maturity of
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00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:21,170
40 -year -old woman, so don't patronise
me, right?
100
00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:22,770
Right.
101
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,110
All right, then, Ashley, how's it going,
mate?
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00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:27,590
Shut up, you nosy bastard.
103
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:31,540
Ashley's rather hyperactive, I'm afraid.
He was born while I was running the
104
00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:32,539
London Marathon.
105
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,600
He came tenth.
106
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,520
Sorry we're being forced to be on
manually.
107
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,520
Is there any way you could have us taken
into care?
108
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:43,679
Now, folks, we're having a party tonight
to celebrate Carl's coming out.
109
00:08:44,260 --> 00:08:46,620
It's really a chance for you to shine,
Carl.
110
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,800
Every radical brain in North London will
be there.
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00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,040
Come with me, Carl. We'll get you some
party clothes to wear.
112
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:58,580
Something basically penitent, but...
Still fairly dangerous.
113
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,560
Trouble with me is I'm self
-destructive.
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00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,820
Complete bloody recidivist psychopath,
weren't you, darling?
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00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:30,180
Always flagging things, wasting people,
turning over their drums, telling
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00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:33,020
enormous porcupines and superglasses at
the Old Bill.
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00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,520
Go on, you say something in Underworld,
I'll go, Carl.
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00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:40,280
Eh, well, I don't really, yeah. That was
all before I introduced him to the joys
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00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,280
of an inquiring mind.
120
00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:44,060
I remember when I first met him.
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00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:48,460
I remember it as if it were... now.
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00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:57,540
OK. Let's get the formalities over to
Starwood. My name is Pauline Sneak, and
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00:09:57,540 --> 00:10:01,660
I'd be happiest if you'd call me either
Pauline or Miss Sneak. Right. Are you
124
00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,080
all clear about why you're here?
125
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:07,460
Yeah. I'm here because I killed
Detective Sergeant Musgrave.
126
00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:15,560
I didn't mean that. I meant why we're
here in this room, right?
127
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:21,500
Well, it's a three -year course leading
to an Open University honours degree in
128
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:22,860
infrastructural studies.
129
00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:27,230
Now, for those of you who aren't quite
clear what that is, let me explain first
130
00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:30,410
by telling you what it isn't. For a
start, it isn't sociology.
131
00:10:31,270 --> 00:10:34,910
Bastards! That bastard governor promised
me it wouldn't be sociology!
132
00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,970
He promised me I could do sociology!
133
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:41,070
And now he's pulled off this dirty
trick!
134
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:47,370
Another sad victim of Monocle
capitalism.
135
00:10:50,390 --> 00:10:51,550
There you go again.
136
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:56,360
I am sick of your rigid Marxist
approach. There are more things to
137
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,600
analysis than dialectical and historical
materialism.
138
00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:02,740
Name seven, you bourgeois reformist
shitbag.
139
00:11:02,940 --> 00:11:04,860
Come on, Carl. Use your head.
140
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,160
Okay, then.
141
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:19,240
Is that the time?
142
00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:22,150
I've got to go and see Melvin Bragg.
143
00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:23,870
Bye -bye.
144
00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:25,070
Bye.
145
00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:33,330
God,
146
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:39,750
I need a drink.
147
00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:41,670
I think I'll go down the pub.
148
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:44,170
But how am I going to get there?
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A bicycle.
150
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:51,320
The most efficient, the most...
harmonious form of transport known to
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00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:56,460
With this pinnacle of engineering
perfection, a person can travel a
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00:11:56,460 --> 00:12:02,420
miles at the speed of a panther using
the energy from one two -ounce scotch
153
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:05,620
with the elegance of an eight -ton
walrus.
154
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:10,460
Bicycles are important in this film. See
how many you can spot.
155
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000
Hold it.
156
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,280
Don't move.
157
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,680
You do know who we are, I suppose.
158
00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:02,520
There's some people here who don't seem
to know who they are.
159
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,000
Yes, Mr Chipstick.
160
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,720
That's right, son.
161
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,200
Chipstick. And we've got you, haven't
we?
162
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,540
Now, who would like a nice game of
cricket?
163
00:13:26,350 --> 00:13:27,350
Go on then.
164
00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:28,790
Go on, ask me.
165
00:13:30,230 --> 00:13:31,490
Alright, what's the time?
166
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,390
You're out.
167
00:14:05,489 --> 00:14:08,030
So, what happened, Dredd? What's going
on?
168
00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:09,830
Easy, no?
169
00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:14,170
Dredd. The man's a true ball head, but
the man talks to her in a Dredd -like
170
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:15,190
style and fashion.
171
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:16,509
Yeah, man.
172
00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:19,070
Me a suffocated, CSE -graded one.
173
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:20,610
So, what happened?
174
00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:24,830
Well, I don't know, you know. All I know
is right now, I, man, feel like a
175
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:28,770
super, well -charged, angry, rude doll.
176
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:32,350
So, how come the man a deal with the
Babylon business?
177
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,090
Say what?
178
00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:35,380
Where my dog?
179
00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:39,480
Babylon Business Retrieve. Yeah, I know
her.
180
00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:43,700
Couple man just passed through and
dropped some wicked sense upon her eyes.
181
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:47,260
Until I said I must have the eye bread
within this community, aye.
182
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,580
And I support that still, because
there's free herbs.
183
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,460
And there's cool runnings in the
community, you know what I'm saying?
184
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,780
But them people kind of wicked, wicked.
185
00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:59,580
Make a man feel vexed and massive.
186
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,400
Massive. That place crucial.
187
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,160
Crucial. Well, well, well.
188
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,000
Oh, Moth.
189
00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:08,820
Good evening, Mr. Chipstick.
190
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,060
Yes, it is I, Chipstick of the Young.
191
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,060
Chipstick the Avenger.
192
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,320
Chipstick the Crime Cruncher.
193
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,920
Chipstick of Bleeding Toy Town.
194
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:21,940
Tell me, Moth, do I look like naughty to
you?
195
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:26,780
Is there some resemblance to Mr. Plod I
previously overlooked?
196
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,580
You can't blame me for your hard luck,
Mr. Chipstick.
197
00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:33,180
No.
198
00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:37,780
No? I wasn't difficult to find. You were
just looking in all the wrong places.
199
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,900
Biggest man under the century.
200
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:43,120
I didn't sleep for two weeks.
201
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,600
I know. That's why I hid in your bed.
202
00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:48,600
And I'd be there still if my brother
hadn't grasped me up.
203
00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,760
She's a nice lady, your wife.
204
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,480
Thirty I thought you'd get.
205
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:56,500
But oh no.
206
00:15:56,780 --> 00:15:59,020
Old clever clocks get out in five.
207
00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:02,190
But I'm warning you, Moss.
208
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,490
There are some.
209
00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:07,830
I'm not necessarily saying I'm one of
them.
210
00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:14,070
But there are those who are discussing a
more permanent solution to the blight
211
00:16:14,070 --> 00:16:15,070
of my existence.
212
00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:25,210
Hey, you. Can you hear me, Carl?
213
00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:26,790
Hello.
214
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:09,589
Hello, Dave.
215
00:17:09,589 --> 00:17:10,589
Hello, Carl.
216
00:17:10,690 --> 00:17:11,690
Heard you were out.
217
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:15,010
What happened to this place?
218
00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:18,190
It used to be a lovely little wine bar.
219
00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:22,589
Where's the food cabinet with the bits
of quiche and the smoked herring?
220
00:17:22,990 --> 00:17:24,130
Where's the folk singer?
221
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:28,550
Where's the matcha rose bottle with the
khaki candles in them?
222
00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:30,690
What's happened to the old place?
223
00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:32,070
Times change.
224
00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:33,830
Been away a long time, Carl.
225
00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:36,150
New people moving in the area.
226
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:38,010
Architects, designers.
227
00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:39,970
It's a post -modernist backlash.
228
00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:42,310
I don't want sophistication.
229
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:47,690
Listen, I've got this little room out
the back for the lair tonight.
230
00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:51,930
Now, maybe we haven't got the complete
range of clarets and the game pies and
231
00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:54,510
all it should be, but it's the best I
can do.
232
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:57,950
So if you'd like to come this way...
233
00:17:57,950 --> 00:18:05,610
It's
234
00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:07,230
OK. This is Karl Moss.
235
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:08,820
Been away.
236
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:24,880
So, what did it be, Carl?
237
00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:26,860
Well,
238
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:36,220
I'm impressed by the sound of your
Chianti Classico.
239
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:37,779
Robust, is it?
240
00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:38,780
I think you'll approve.
241
00:18:39,260 --> 00:18:40,260
Bottle?
242
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,800
Well, better make it a half.
243
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,860
I haven't drunk anything stronger than
shoe polish for the last five years.
244
00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:48,160
Bottle might make me go a bit funny, you
know.
245
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,400
Evening, Dave.
246
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,420
Quite a leap for our milch for the lads,
please.
247
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,330
Oh, deary me, what a day I've had.
248
00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:12,150
Busy, busy, busy.
249
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:17,010
Extortion, blackmail, pimping, lording
with intent.
250
00:19:17,470 --> 00:19:20,110
And the traffic in the Euston Road is
ridiculous.
251
00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:23,450
And the thing is, you can't delegate,
can you?
252
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:28,930
People are ringing me up all day saying,
I can't get his arms in the mincer. Or,
253
00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:31,770
which end of the shotgun do you saw off?
Exactly.
254
00:19:32,950 --> 00:19:34,190
It's terrible, isn't it?
255
00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,550
What did you do today?
256
00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:39,510
I got out of prison where you put me.
257
00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:41,170
I never put you there, Carl.
258
00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:43,370
It was your own incompetence.
259
00:19:43,910 --> 00:19:46,110
You should have remembered what Mum
taught us.
260
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,190
Always grass on your brother before he
grasses on you.
261
00:19:49,410 --> 00:19:50,470
Yeah, but I was innocent.
262
00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:53,070
It was you what did for cheese dish and
fireplace.
263
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:57,690
The most it could have got me for was
listening with an air of approval if you
264
00:19:57,690 --> 00:19:59,610
and Chipstick hadn't fitted me up.
265
00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:01,770
You're a little weed, Carl.
266
00:20:02,010 --> 00:20:04,890
You always was, and you always was be.
267
00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:08,960
Oh, by the way, Mum's really upset that
you ain't been round to see her yet.
268
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:14,140
But I told her there was probably some
reasonable explanation, like, er, that
269
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:18,320
you was a bed -wetting, oity -toity
little pup who was too stuck up to come
270
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,520
visit his dear old mum.
271
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:25,000
Nevertheless, she still wants you back
in the family firm, and we've got a
272
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,320
new racket now as well.
273
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:31,480
Listen, I've got 428 educational
qualifications.
274
00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:33,940
I know more than God knows.
275
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,280
And I'm not going to piss all that
knowledge up against a wall on cheap
276
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,280
villainy.
277
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:41,020
I want to do something noble.
278
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,960
I want to do something splendid.
279
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,920
I want to do something fine. I want to
do something that really fucks you up.
280
00:20:50,060 --> 00:20:53,940
As Bertolt Brecht said, who's the real
criminal?
281
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,140
He who robs a bank or he who founds one?
282
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,180
What? You're going to be a bank manager.
283
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,420
Carl's going to be a bank manager.
284
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:09,740
Smelly vest, smelly vest. Have you
passed your driving test?
285
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,540
You can sneer.
286
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,000
Yeah, I can. I can sneer.
287
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,900
Sneering's what I do best.
288
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:23,260
What's he got against cheap villainy?
289
00:21:23,860 --> 00:21:25,560
It's a man's life, isn't it?
290
00:21:26,340 --> 00:21:27,340
Crime?
291
00:21:28,740 --> 00:21:30,580
Property is theft.
292
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:39,560
And if you're very deft, you could be
set in the back of a jag.
293
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,260
Right in the wake of a lucrative blag.
294
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,520
Crime?
295
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,340
You need skill and stealth.
296
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:57,940
Redistributing wealth.
297
00:21:59,300 --> 00:22:01,200
Practice makes perfect, so give it some
time.
298
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,120
Step out of line and one day you will
shine in.
299
00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:07,540
Christ.
300
00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:11,020
Christ.
301
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,400
Christ.
302
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,120
Christ.
303
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,580
I'm going to live in Stepney.
304
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,940
Corner the market in fruit.
305
00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:29,960
Learn all the underworld.
306
00:22:30,340 --> 00:22:31,340
I'll go.
307
00:22:32,430 --> 00:22:33,770
Spend every day in a suit.
308
00:22:50,230 --> 00:22:52,570
I'm going to go to Tesco's.
309
00:22:53,430 --> 00:22:55,730
Walk out the door with the till.
310
00:22:57,010 --> 00:22:59,730
Give lots of money to boys club.
311
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,940
Give lots of presents to policemen.
312
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,660
I'm gonna cry.
313
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,640
I'm gonna cry.
314
00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:38,780
I'm gonna cry.
315
00:23:39,380 --> 00:23:40,940
I'm gonna cry.
316
00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:45,080
I'm gonna cry when I mention
317
00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:25,030
Let's have some service then. Choppy,
choppy. Sweet and sour sardine
318
00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:26,009
balls twice.
319
00:24:26,010 --> 00:24:27,030
One curry pork.
320
00:24:27,790 --> 00:24:30,350
Fish spring rolls and a fly like Johnny.
Chop, chop.
321
00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:49,940
Wow,
322
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:52,060
you speak Cantonese?
323
00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:58,280
So, what do you want?
324
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,080
Okay,
325
00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:11,980
okay.
326
00:25:37,340 --> 00:25:39,440
Appearances can often be deceptive.
327
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,140
Wasn't it Dr. Johnson who once said,
328
00:25:46,139 --> 00:25:49,380
Consider also the story of the tortoise
and the hare.
329
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:54,400
Though the race was too swift, the
tortoise moved to Los Angeles and put
330
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:55,400
head in a bucket.
331
00:25:56,980 --> 00:25:57,980
Jesus, I'm pissed.
332
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,480
But the thing is, I mustn't make me
move.
333
00:26:01,780 --> 00:26:05,120
I must keep me head down until I've
prepared me utensils.
334
00:26:05,820 --> 00:26:09,880
No, no, I don't mean utensils. Oh, God,
what are them things? Them things, them
335
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,800
long things with bolts on the ends of
them and curly bits, you know.
336
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:16,820
That's my bloody bike.
337
00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:19,480
Dr Martens, do your stuff!
338
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,339
Very nice.
339
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:22,880
How many more for a full load?
340
00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:24,700
Seventeen.
341
00:27:25,380 --> 00:27:26,380
Eleven tomorrow.
342
00:27:26,940 --> 00:27:27,940
Tomorrow?
343
00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:29,640
Why not tonight?
344
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,980
Never put off till tomorrow what you can
blag today.
345
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,120
What's this?
346
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:45,640
What? This?
347
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,320
It's a bell.
348
00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:48,540
And what do bells do?
349
00:27:49,020 --> 00:27:50,020
Tingle in.
350
00:27:50,300 --> 00:27:52,420
I'll tell you what bells do.
351
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,720
Bells do very nicely as optional extras.
352
00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:00,180
That's what bells do. They do not come
as standard kits.
353
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:01,800
Get it off.
354
00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:22,899
out, Mark.
355
00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:23,839
I heard.
356
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,280
What? Grapevine?
357
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,140
No, telly.
358
00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:29,120
Is he coming at home?
359
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,840
Nah, he's moved in with his sociology
teacher.
360
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,820
Oh, God.
361
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:39,300
This would never have happened if your
father was still alive.
362
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,200
He's still alive.
363
00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:43,160
I thought I told you to kill him.
364
00:28:43,580 --> 00:28:45,060
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
365
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,160
I'll do it now, if you like. No, no,
don't bother.
366
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:50,780
I'm more concerned about Carl.
367
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,940
He's got some very funny ideas.
368
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,340
Oh, I reckon he's harmless, Ma.
369
00:28:56,540 --> 00:29:01,600
What can he do to hurt the firm? And if
he does get uppity -uppity, we'll just
370
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:02,980
arrange a fatal accident.
371
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,040
With some drawing pins.
372
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:11,380
Anything good on the telly? Well, there
was a programme on about fish earlier,
373
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:12,740
but that's gone off.
374
00:29:13,140 --> 00:29:15,100
I'm going to bed, then. You all right?
375
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:19,080
Yeah. I might go out a bit later on and
gap a few badgers.
376
00:29:19,820 --> 00:29:21,380
Yeah, you do that, then.
377
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,760
See ya. Nighty -nighty.
378
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,580
Oh, me the night boy.
379
00:29:48,060 --> 00:29:50,660
Blessed Virgin, Mother of Four.
380
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,260
Please be merciful on my son.
381
00:29:53,940 --> 00:30:00,100
Not Carl, the one who talks the
Liverpool accent, but my little
382
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,860
he's a lovely boy.
383
00:30:04,860 --> 00:30:08,400
Psychopathic, but fair with it, like
I've brought him up.
384
00:30:08,740 --> 00:30:12,580
Please see that no harm comes to him,
blessed lady.
385
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
All right.
386
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,240
You'll find the cheque in the post, as
usual.
387
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,420
Yeah, well, basically, Carl, you're on a
standard 40 -hour week, which can be
388
00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:26,020
increased to 45 hours without overtime
payments or time off in lieu.
389
00:30:26,220 --> 00:30:29,360
Right. And that's about it, really,
except for good luck.
390
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,100
Yeah. Look, are you nervous?
391
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,760
Just that a lot of people do find our
young adult a bit overwhelming.
392
00:30:36,620 --> 00:30:40,680
Yeah, well, I've been in a lot of tight
spots and unfamiliar situations over the
393
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:45,000
years, you know, and I've evolved a kind
of methodology for stopping a situation
394
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,140
from getting out of control.
395
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:47,880
I'll be all right.
396
00:31:19,310 --> 00:31:20,310
playing a game.
397
00:31:22,050 --> 00:31:23,050
Oh, yeah.
398
00:31:23,350 --> 00:31:24,350
It's easy, that.
399
00:31:24,910 --> 00:31:26,070
Explosive charge or something.
400
00:31:28,690 --> 00:31:30,710
Hang on.
401
00:31:31,350 --> 00:31:34,610
That's right. There's somebody
downstairs with a... There ain't no
402
00:31:38,890 --> 00:31:39,890
Good.
403
00:31:40,310 --> 00:31:41,370
Good morning, class.
404
00:31:41,730 --> 00:31:44,930
I'm Mr Karl Moss, your unstructured
activities coordinator.
405
00:31:46,310 --> 00:31:48,790
Today... We will do lying on the floor.
406
00:31:49,370 --> 00:31:53,750
You will lie on the floor. You will
continue to lie on the floor. And if you
407
00:31:53,750 --> 00:31:55,950
move a single muscle, I will kill you.
408
00:31:56,430 --> 00:32:00,570
Now, while you're lying on the floor, I
would like to put to you a very simple
409
00:32:00,570 --> 00:32:01,570
proposition.
410
00:32:02,810 --> 00:32:05,250
Consider the wave of the anaconda.
411
00:32:05,450 --> 00:32:07,150
It strikes, but rarely.
412
00:32:07,410 --> 00:32:10,610
It bides its time. It waits for its
moment.
413
00:32:10,850 --> 00:32:12,390
Then it strikes.
414
00:32:13,510 --> 00:32:14,910
Sometimes it misses.
415
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:16,640
Bounds its head on a tree.
416
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:18,960
It's a horrible slimy thing anyway.
417
00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:22,400
Consider this proposition.
418
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,880
Who is the real criminal?
419
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:31,740
He who steals bikes or he who makes
them? Or she who
420
00:32:31,740 --> 00:32:33,480
makes his traps.
421
00:32:36,060 --> 00:32:38,920
Now you are scum.
422
00:32:39,620 --> 00:32:42,100
Filth. The lowest of the low.
423
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:43,660
Petty criminals.
424
00:32:44,190 --> 00:32:46,790
nicking bites from my puss -bag brother.
425
00:32:47,210 --> 00:32:51,090
Now, I too have dedicated my life to
crime.
426
00:32:51,290 --> 00:32:56,250
And as a recidivist criminal, I ask you
this simple question.
427
00:32:57,890 --> 00:33:02,530
Is crime right or wrong?
428
00:33:03,350 --> 00:33:04,870
Right. Wrong.
429
00:33:07,210 --> 00:33:12,090
Politically, philosophically,
politically, morally and mathematically,
430
00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:13,190
are wrong.
431
00:33:13,850 --> 00:33:18,630
Why? Because they are antisocial. They
are people of limited brain power and
432
00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:23,510
even less willpower who break the laws
of society when they should be doing the
433
00:33:23,510 --> 00:33:26,190
real work, which is to change them.
434
00:33:26,950 --> 00:33:32,410
Criminals are people who steal from,
cheat on, grass and betray their own
435
00:33:32,630 --> 00:33:36,630
their own family, their own friends,
their own radio cassette players, their
436
00:33:36,630 --> 00:33:39,010
nice shoes and their own heated towel
rails.
437
00:33:39,330 --> 00:33:41,950
You might think I'm talking rubbish,
but...
438
00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:50,670
My brother Sterling will betray you just
as he betrayed me.
439
00:33:51,710 --> 00:33:53,550
Is there no answer to this dilemma?
440
00:33:54,230 --> 00:33:57,390
Yes, there is an answer. There is an
answer.
441
00:33:57,990 --> 00:34:00,530
For I had a dream, my friend.
442
00:34:00,810 --> 00:34:02,070
I had a dream.
443
00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:08,250
I dreamt that all over this great nation
and all over the great nations of the
444
00:34:08,250 --> 00:34:10,650
world there was machinery like this.
445
00:34:11,159 --> 00:34:16,100
rotting and wasting in schools and
factories and community centres.
446
00:34:16,420 --> 00:34:22,280
And I dreamed that there were people,
people with skills and talents and
447
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:26,280
abilities, like the machines were
rotting and wasting.
448
00:34:26,620 --> 00:34:31,800
And I dreamed of taking those resources,
those people, those machines, and with
449
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:36,199
them, forging a new spirit in the world,
a spirit of trust.
450
00:34:36,730 --> 00:34:39,810
and cooperation and enterprise and
creativity.
451
00:34:40,090 --> 00:34:43,969
Oh, yes, I had a dream, my friends. I
had a dream.
452
00:34:44,330 --> 00:34:50,770
And I dreamt that this new spirit would
seize the imagination of a generation
453
00:34:50,770 --> 00:34:57,670
until everywhere this new economy was
the only economy. Oh, yes, I had a
454
00:34:57,750 --> 00:35:01,810
my friends. I had a dream. And then,
then...
455
00:35:02,170 --> 00:35:06,970
Suddenly my dream changed and I was in a
swimming pool and the swimming pool was
456
00:35:06,970 --> 00:35:11,610
full of small brown puppies and each of
the puppies had the face of a 19th
457
00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:15,010
century politician and one of the
puppies, one of the puppies that had the
458
00:35:15,010 --> 00:35:19,670
of Lord Palmerston suddenly started
shouting at me, where's the spoons?
459
00:35:19,670 --> 00:35:21,750
the spoons? Where's the bloody spoons?
460
00:35:26,210 --> 00:35:27,210
Any questions?
461
00:35:27,530 --> 00:35:30,790
What happens if we don't take any notice
of what you say ever?
462
00:35:34,609 --> 00:35:35,609
Yeah, I see.
463
00:35:36,630 --> 00:35:38,330
Well then, what is it we're going to
build?
464
00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:17,060
After this bike!
465
00:36:21,460 --> 00:36:22,780
It's easy this, isn't it?
466
00:36:23,140 --> 00:36:28,980
Consider the ways of the grebe. They
swim, they fly, but do they road test
467
00:36:28,980 --> 00:36:31,220
bicycles? Do they shite?
468
00:36:52,970 --> 00:36:53,970
Hello, Mum.
469
00:36:54,010 --> 00:36:56,310
Hello, Sterling. Killed your dad yet?
470
00:36:56,690 --> 00:36:59,090
No. I had him cornered, but he ran off.
471
00:36:59,430 --> 00:37:04,430
Your dad's a nice enough man, but he let
his glasses fall in the custard once
472
00:37:04,430 --> 00:37:05,430
too often.
473
00:37:06,790 --> 00:37:07,790
What are you reading?
474
00:37:08,550 --> 00:37:09,670
The dictionary.
475
00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:12,630
Compassion.
476
00:37:13,330 --> 00:37:15,390
I don't know the meaning of the word.
477
00:37:15,830 --> 00:37:16,830
Me neither.
478
00:37:17,810 --> 00:37:18,810
Where's the kids?
479
00:37:18,930 --> 00:37:20,550
Kids? Yeah.
480
00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:22,310
They're not in the yard.
481
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,180
They haven't been there for days.
482
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,300
I think they've gone, ma 'am.
483
00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:27,540
Where?
484
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:29,480
I don't know.
485
00:37:29,660 --> 00:37:32,860
We've got a big order to fill as well,
and nobody to do the nicking.
486
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:35,780
Quite frankly, I'm anxious, ma 'am.
487
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:41,700
I reckon our car's got something to do
with it. He's uppity, uppity, and he
488
00:37:41,700 --> 00:37:43,320
needs some lessons teaching.
489
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,000
I'll deal with him.
490
00:37:45,700 --> 00:37:46,700
Yes, ma 'am.
491
00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:51,200
Sterling, I know that look.
492
00:37:52,490 --> 00:37:54,430
Are you going to do something silly?
493
00:37:55,350 --> 00:37:56,350
No, ma.
494
00:37:59,350 --> 00:38:01,230
Bing, bong, bing, bong.
495
00:38:01,730 --> 00:38:02,730
What am I, ma?
496
00:38:03,410 --> 00:38:05,550
You're a silly bugger, Sterling.
497
00:38:07,550 --> 00:38:08,550
Compassion.
498
00:38:12,930 --> 00:38:13,970
You can't leave.
499
00:38:14,210 --> 00:38:15,210
You can't!
500
00:38:15,810 --> 00:38:17,390
Where the hell do you think you're going
to go?
501
00:38:17,830 --> 00:38:19,510
I'm going to stay at Naples Street.
502
00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:20,830
It's not residential.
503
00:38:21,610 --> 00:38:22,610
Anyway, I love you.
504
00:38:25,110 --> 00:38:26,170
What's going to happen to me?
505
00:38:26,410 --> 00:38:27,510
What about my reputation?
506
00:38:28,570 --> 00:38:30,150
Well, if you won't think of me, think of
the kids.
507
00:38:30,370 --> 00:38:31,890
What are they going to do without you?
508
00:38:32,290 --> 00:38:33,810
We're going with him.
509
00:38:34,890 --> 00:38:38,810
I've wallpapered the utility room.
There's some macaroni cheese in the
510
00:38:38,810 --> 00:38:39,810
now. Fuck off.
511
00:38:40,550 --> 00:38:41,550
Come on, kids.
512
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:58,960
Never cross swords with the Trotskyist
child of the middle classes, Carl.
513
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:01,520
Bastard! Cross!
514
00:39:02,620 --> 00:39:04,500
Bastard! Bastard! Cross!
515
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:07,900
Bastard! Cross! Sign these, Eddie.
516
00:39:08,380 --> 00:39:09,480
What are they?
517
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:14,480
Carl's parole order at section 27 and a
check for 800 pounds. As Carl's
518
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,400
probation officer, social worker and
licensed driving instructor.
519
00:39:18,170 --> 00:39:22,470
I want to revoke his parole and commit
him to a dangerously unsupervised mental
520
00:39:22,470 --> 00:39:25,990
hospital. Anything you say, Pussy
Willow.
521
00:39:27,010 --> 00:39:32,030
Now, all we have to do is to get him to
that community centre and serve it on
522
00:39:32,030 --> 00:39:33,030
him.
523
00:39:36,110 --> 00:39:37,330
Well? All right.
524
00:39:37,670 --> 00:39:40,490
Well, due to my brilliant thousandship,
we're already in business with one of
525
00:39:40,490 --> 00:39:41,490
Sterling's old customers.
526
00:39:41,950 --> 00:39:46,010
The union of nostalgic butcher's boys
want 20 traditional roasters by Monday
527
00:39:46,010 --> 00:39:47,170
with baskets.
528
00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:48,468
Oh, brilliant.
529
00:39:48,470 --> 00:39:52,810
It'll mean working two shifts, but we
can do it. Come on, girls.
530
00:39:53,230 --> 00:39:54,230
Factory's open.
531
00:40:23,660 --> 00:40:28,160
Making bikes down Old Naples Street
School and using our bloody kids.
532
00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:29,399
He's never.
533
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:32,140
I'll kill him. No, you won't.
534
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:35,020
I'll kill him. It's my turn.
535
00:40:36,060 --> 00:40:37,720
You killed the coal man.
536
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:42,820
Yeah, and you killed that lady what come
with the make -up. And all the meals on
537
00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:43,820
wheels, people.
538
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:45,420
Oh, they don't count.
539
00:40:45,780 --> 00:40:46,780
They don't, eh?
540
00:40:47,660 --> 00:40:49,960
Well, look what I've got.
541
00:40:51,790 --> 00:40:53,110
Sterling, that's my stick.
542
00:40:53,570 --> 00:40:55,510
That's my lucky stick.
543
00:40:55,990 --> 00:40:58,110
It's my stick now, isn't it?
544
00:40:58,470 --> 00:41:03,030
You stay here, Mum. I'll fix Carl.
Mickey, run.
545
00:41:04,150 --> 00:41:07,550
Sterling, Sterling, that's my lucky
stick.
546
00:41:12,370 --> 00:41:14,230
Hey, Sterling's coming.
547
00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:34,100
Here's cold runny nose playing with the
littler kids again.
548
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:35,480
Piss off, Sterling.
549
00:41:36,580 --> 00:41:40,700
We can't have this, can we, Mr. Oh -So
-Mighty -Gender -Bender?
550
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:45,240
If our dear old mam had wanted you to be
a bike manufacturer, she would have
551
00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:48,540
given you a Meccano set and not nervous
eczema.
552
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,260
You're always trying to break my toys,
Sterling.
553
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,820
I was breaking the wrong things then,
wasn't I?
554
00:41:54,180 --> 00:41:55,560
It's you I'm going to break.
555
00:42:26,060 --> 00:42:29,200
You should always put a dead badger on a
head wound.
556
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:38,000
Now, if we could just get in there mob
-handed and smash up all his equipment,
557
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,720
then he wouldn't be able to make any
bicycles no more.
558
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,140
But he's got that place sealed up
tighter than a very tight thing.
559
00:42:44,580 --> 00:42:45,580
So?
560
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,620
So, how are we going to get in there,
Mum?
561
00:42:49,060 --> 00:42:51,780
Oh, they must open the door sometime.
562
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,100
Yeah, but when?
563
00:42:55,760 --> 00:43:00,300
Four, five, four. I smell the blood out
of Babylon.
564
00:43:00,780 --> 00:43:06,820
North, south, west and east. The one
thing we love is the community, people.
565
00:43:06,820 --> 00:43:08,400
are community rocking.
566
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,480
Lord me God, community rocking.
567
00:43:11,740 --> 00:43:12,740
Yeah.
568
00:43:37,750 --> 00:43:40,770
You can't come in unless you're
accompanied by senior citizens.
569
00:43:41,250 --> 00:43:42,550
Who do you think this is?
570
00:43:42,930 --> 00:43:43,990
Ben Kingsley.
571
00:43:44,530 --> 00:43:45,530
I'm 85.
572
00:43:46,590 --> 00:43:48,130
Yeah, she's 85.
573
00:43:48,750 --> 00:43:50,870
You still like her, don't you, dear?
574
00:43:51,130 --> 00:43:54,770
I may be a lovable old cockney racist.
575
00:43:55,340 --> 00:43:58,460
But I do like my reggae music.
576
00:43:59,620 --> 00:44:00,940
Come on, darling.
577
00:44:01,420 --> 00:44:02,640
Give us a hand.
578
00:44:31,470 --> 00:44:32,510
Evening, piglet.
579
00:44:33,370 --> 00:44:34,730
Oh my god!
580
00:44:36,330 --> 00:44:39,250
Dare I dare I dare I dare I dare. What's
the matter with you?
581
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:40,840
So cold, isn't it?
582
00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:45,140
You had such eye -opes for the lad,
didn't you? You thought the people would
583
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:49,800
look at you and say, there goes the
redoubtable Pauline Lord Longford sneak.
584
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:54,820
There goes the bird what turned a crazy,
mad psychopath into a cross between
585
00:44:54,820 --> 00:44:58,880
Albert Einstein and the proprietor of an
arrogant gift shop.
586
00:44:59,380 --> 00:45:01,660
Well, he's laughing at you now.
587
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,280
Laughing, laughing, laughing.
588
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,820
Ha, ha, ha.
589
00:45:07,100 --> 00:45:08,100
What do you mean?
590
00:45:09,130 --> 00:45:11,050
He's back to his old ways, isn't he?
591
00:45:11,570 --> 00:45:16,370
Operating an illicit bicycle factory on
these very premises, using young people
592
00:45:16,370 --> 00:45:19,670
who up to now have been gainfully
unemployed to make things.
593
00:45:20,530 --> 00:45:21,530
Making things?
594
00:45:22,390 --> 00:45:24,790
That makes my gall dry as it does.
595
00:45:25,070 --> 00:45:28,310
I reckon this probation officer should
do something about it.
596
00:45:28,830 --> 00:45:29,830
She will.
597
00:45:30,850 --> 00:45:34,970
We've got to do it all legal like,
though. What we need is our policeman.
598
00:45:36,510 --> 00:45:37,710
Isn't it funny, eh?
599
00:45:38,140 --> 00:45:41,100
Whenever you want one, there's always
fucking millions of them.
600
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:42,760
Free!
601
00:45:44,180 --> 00:45:45,860
Nelson Mandela!
602
00:45:48,380 --> 00:45:49,380
Free!
603
00:45:50,860 --> 00:45:52,800
I've got a present for you, Mr
Chipstick.
604
00:45:53,260 --> 00:45:54,440
Not now, Sterling.
605
00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:56,020
Just leave it in the usual place.
606
00:45:56,280 --> 00:46:00,580
Nah, this is better than that. This is
something which means that you can stop
607
00:46:00,580 --> 00:46:02,820
being Chief Inspector Goody Two -Shoes.
608
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:07,300
You can stop being the good apple that
spoils the otherwise rotten barrel and
609
00:46:07,300 --> 00:46:09,360
get back to some proper pleasing.
610
00:47:17,740 --> 00:47:19,000
He's upset, isn't he?
611
00:47:19,700 --> 00:47:22,580
That's when I used to break his toys in
there, when we were here at school.
612
00:47:23,140 --> 00:47:25,840
He'd go where he used to go then, when
he was upset.
613
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:23,260
Smelly vest, smelly vest, have you
passed your driving test?
614
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:36,980
So, is the little boy what was sticking
his shoe on Coronation Day?
615
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:49,880
Me alone.
616
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:51,600
I can't do that.
617
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:53,120
I mean, we're twins.
618
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,280
We're intrinsically linked.
619
00:48:55,860 --> 00:48:59,740
We feel the same feelings, think the
same thoughts.
620
00:49:00,300 --> 00:49:04,000
I mean, that's why I didn't feel too bad
about sending you away for 30 years.
621
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:06,760
I knew that we were serving the time
together.
622
00:49:07,340 --> 00:49:12,400
I never saw you in the cell. I was there
in spirit, intrinsically linked -like.
623
00:49:13,620 --> 00:49:14,900
Can't go on like this.
624
00:49:15,850 --> 00:49:18,250
Two bodies fighting over the same
personality.
625
00:49:19,150 --> 00:49:24,210
It's like two hyenas fighting over a
dead Zimmerman's gazelle.
626
00:49:24,730 --> 00:49:25,810
You know what happens.
627
00:49:27,150 --> 00:49:29,350
Eventually one hyena kills the other.
628
00:49:30,010 --> 00:49:31,010
No, it doesn't.
629
00:49:31,410 --> 00:49:38,170
If I remember your sociobiology
tutorials, one hyena proves itself
630
00:49:38,170 --> 00:49:40,730
other submits, and now blood is shed.
631
00:49:41,470 --> 00:49:43,890
It's no life for a psychopath, then, is
it, eh?
632
00:49:44,110 --> 00:49:45,250
Being a hyena.
633
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:10,820
Dad. Good boy.
634
00:50:11,380 --> 00:50:12,380
Out of the way.
635
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:17,050
You know, It's not a bad racket here,
dear.
636
00:50:17,530 --> 00:50:18,590
Idealistic socialism.
637
00:50:18,930 --> 00:50:20,830
I think I might give it a go myself.
638
00:50:24,210 --> 00:50:27,490
I revoke your parole and sentence you to
death.
639
00:50:27,690 --> 00:50:28,750
You're too late.
640
00:50:32,290 --> 00:50:36,670
If this is Karl Moss, why has he got
Stirling's haircut?
641
00:50:37,990 --> 00:50:41,610
How do we know that you are Stirling,
Stirling?
642
00:50:43,630 --> 00:50:45,070
How do we know that you're not Carl?
643
00:50:46,430 --> 00:50:47,430
Carl?
644
00:50:49,910 --> 00:50:52,930
Mrs. Moss, surely you can tell?
645
00:50:53,150 --> 00:50:55,590
You're Sterling, aren't you, Carl?
646
00:50:55,890 --> 00:51:00,530
My boy, back in charge of the old gang
again.
647
00:51:00,870 --> 00:51:03,030
Yes, but which one?
648
00:51:03,530 --> 00:51:10,530
And now our story's finished. Our
649
00:51:10,530 --> 00:51:11,830
tale is almost told.
650
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:17,140
But can we find a moral in the story of
the Moss Brothers so bold?
651
00:51:17,740 --> 00:51:19,960
Well, this country's based on stealing.
652
00:51:20,220 --> 00:51:22,200
The poor are on the rack.
653
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:28,780
But men like me will always be plotting
to steal this country back.
654
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,460
Here, didn't you kill my brother?
655
00:51:46,740 --> 00:51:48,380
Shut up and keep walking.
656
00:52:18,860 --> 00:52:21,060
Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't
you kill, my brother?
657
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:24,600
Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't
you kill, my brother?
658
00:52:26,940 --> 00:52:29,600
Where's the spring? Where's the bloody
spring?
659
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,800
Smelly bass, smelly bass, exit off your
driving test.
660
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:38,060
I haven't killed your dad yet.
661
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:40,580
I can't get his arms in the mincer.
662
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:45,160
Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't
you kill, my brother?
663
00:52:46,020 --> 00:52:49,200
Didn't you kill? Kidney killed. Kidney
killed. My brother.
664
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:08,420
Hearted in a very tight thing.
49225
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