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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,730 --> 00:00:09,170 Well, I can think of easier ways to pass your driving test. 2 00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:15,210 And talking of passing tests, today Britain's most qualified criminal was 3 00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:18,670 released from Wandsworth Prison. While serving his sentence, he's gained a 4 00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:25,350 staggering 428 educational qualifications, including 147 O -levels, 5 00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:27,450 -levels, and he's acquired a Liverpool accent. 6 00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:34,150 He's a trained hairdresser, has 19 BSc's, 8 BA's, an MA and 4 PhD's, and 7 00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:38,250 been awarded a gold medal by the Académie Française for his contributions 8 00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:39,250 new cuisine. 9 00:00:39,510 --> 00:00:43,730 And who should this egghead be but none other than one of the notorious Moss 10 00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:48,750 brothers, Karl Moss, who, along with his brother Sterling, pursued a joint reign 11 00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:52,990 of terror in northeast London gangland in the mid -70s. They masterminded a 12 00:00:52,990 --> 00:00:56,770 string of protection rackets, gambling clubs and dress hire shops. 13 00:00:57,340 --> 00:01:01,480 Karl Moss was finally arrested during a bungled robbery, convicted of complicity 14 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:06,320 in the murders of fireplace Eric Driscoll, cheese dish Jim McSweeney, and 15 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:10,640 controversial decision, was sentenced by the notorious Judge Haight to 100 16 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,640 strokes with the lash, transportation to the colonies, and 80 years community 17 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:19,100 service. The sentence was commuted to 30 years imprisonment by the appeal court. 18 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,480 Because of his astounding educational qualifications, 19 00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:27,960 He was granted parole today after serving only five years of his 30 -year 20 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:28,960 sentence. 21 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:34,460 He'll be released into the care of his probation officer and sociology teacher, 22 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,300 Mrs Pauline Sneak. 23 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,960 Well, I wonder if he's passed his driving test. 24 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,220 And that's all for tonight. Tomorrow night, a special report from Gordon 25 00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:48,640 on the missing bicycles of Tottenham. But meanwhile, from Alastair and myself, 26 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:49,900 good night. 27 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,860 You cop while I'm doing a voiceover again, I'll do you. 28 00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:10,680 Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't you kill my brother? 29 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,200 Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't you kill my brother? 30 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,660 Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't you kill my brother? 31 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,100 Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't you kill my brother? 32 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:34,680 While 33 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:41,640 you've 34 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:44,520 been relaxing inside, I've been butting a gut getting you a job. 35 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:12,180 This is where you'll be working. 36 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,580 Years ago, this place used to be a school. 37 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:26,899 Yeah, I know. 38 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:28,540 Me and Sterling, we were kids there. 39 00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:30,260 God, it was a rough school. 40 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,960 All the teachers that were inside us were dead. 41 00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:37,260 You used to have to write on slates as well. It was bloody dangerous going up 42 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,260 the roof to get them. 43 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,600 Part of it's still a community centre and old people's day centre, but they're 44 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:43,600 closing it down. 45 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,680 The new policy is to integrate the old people with society by letting them roam 46 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:48,800 round the streets all day. 47 00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:56,260 Mostly it's a young adults retraining centre, training young adults for the 48 00:03:56,260 --> 00:03:57,840 needs of a technological future. 49 00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,660 You'll be working here until we get married. 50 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,800 Then I think it'll be time for you to move on. 51 00:04:11,079 --> 00:04:15,060 Wainwright and Laidlaw, Conan Friction Drive, Variable Speed Laid. 52 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,579 Never been used. 53 00:04:20,019 --> 00:04:22,600 T .I. Reynolds 531 Cycle Tubing. 54 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,720 Takamichi Mainframe Computer. 55 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,680 God, you could take over the world with that. 56 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,340 Why isn't anybody using this gear? 57 00:04:34,660 --> 00:04:38,940 Technology changes so fast these days, it's better for the kids just to sit and 58 00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:39,940 sit there. 59 00:04:40,510 --> 00:04:44,490 Wait. Yeah, but you can make some great stuff with this equipment. 60 00:04:44,990 --> 00:04:45,990 Making things? 61 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:50,030 I don't want to go on Wogan with a man who makes things. This isn't the 70s. 62 00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:53,010 Anyway, the CBI would never stand for it. 63 00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:59,710 If I catch you making things, you'll be back inside pissing in a tin pot before 64 00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:01,230 you can say Amnesty International. 65 00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:08,030 Carl, you're going to be an unstructured activities coordinator. 66 00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:14,930 Hey, perhaps I could go and stay at the Released Offenders Hostel in Redbridge. 67 00:05:15,450 --> 00:05:18,090 Carl, you're a free man. 68 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,230 You're not going anywhere. 69 00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:22,830 Here we are. 70 00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:31,830 You start at nine tomorrow. 71 00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:41,220 Throw it away. 72 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:46,700 Smash it. Smash it. Break it in the pieces. Throw it away. 73 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:21,120 Just to show you that I trust you completely and respect you as a person, 74 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,420 going to give you the keys to the basement where we live. 75 00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:28,340 Why don't you go in first, on your own, in a totally relaxed and casual way? 76 00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:30,040 Oh, OK, then. 77 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:44,420 Daddy, I told you he mustn't know we're connected. Look, shut the door and talk 78 00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:45,420 to me through the letterbox. 79 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,080 Hello? Hello? 80 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:54,960 Hello? 81 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,860 Just stay out of sight. 82 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,800 The thing is that I've found out I've got a brain like an apple Macintosh. 83 00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:38,260 And what I want to do, I want to help people. 84 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:43,980 I want to find a cure for a serious disease or write some beautiful songs 85 00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:44,980 John Denver. 86 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,240 Don't try up with that. 87 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,320 It's not a tea towel. 88 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,560 It's a Herdman's Jalaba from Afghanistan. 89 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,720 You're not going to help people, Carl. 90 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,660 I have plans for you. 91 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,380 It's not every day I cure a diseased psyche like yours. 92 00:07:59,930 --> 00:08:00,930 Leave the knife. 93 00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:04,530 Kids, come and meet Carl. 94 00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:07,050 This is Laura and this is Ashley. 95 00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:10,930 Kids, this is Carl, who's going to be living with us. 96 00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:12,610 Hello there, Laura. 97 00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:13,990 How old are you, then? 98 00:08:14,270 --> 00:08:18,430 Physically, I'm eight, but my teacher says I've got the emotional maturity of 99 00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:21,170 40 -year -old woman, so don't patronise me, right? 100 00:08:21,770 --> 00:08:22,770 Right. 101 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,110 All right, then, Ashley, how's it going, mate? 102 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:27,590 Shut up, you nosy bastard. 103 00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:31,540 Ashley's rather hyperactive, I'm afraid. He was born while I was running the 104 00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:32,539 London Marathon. 105 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,600 He came tenth. 106 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,520 Sorry we're being forced to be on manually. 107 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,520 Is there any way you could have us taken into care? 108 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:43,679 Now, folks, we're having a party tonight to celebrate Carl's coming out. 109 00:08:44,260 --> 00:08:46,620 It's really a chance for you to shine, Carl. 110 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:49,800 Every radical brain in North London will be there. 111 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,040 Come with me, Carl. We'll get you some party clothes to wear. 112 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:58,580 Something basically penitent, but... Still fairly dangerous. 113 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,560 Trouble with me is I'm self -destructive. 114 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,820 Complete bloody recidivist psychopath, weren't you, darling? 115 00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:30,180 Always flagging things, wasting people, turning over their drums, telling 116 00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:33,020 enormous porcupines and superglasses at the Old Bill. 117 00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,520 Go on, you say something in Underworld, I'll go, Carl. 118 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:40,280 Eh, well, I don't really, yeah. That was all before I introduced him to the joys 119 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,280 of an inquiring mind. 120 00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:44,060 I remember when I first met him. 121 00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:48,460 I remember it as if it were... now. 122 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:57,540 OK. Let's get the formalities over to Starwood. My name is Pauline Sneak, and 123 00:09:57,540 --> 00:10:01,660 I'd be happiest if you'd call me either Pauline or Miss Sneak. Right. Are you 124 00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,080 all clear about why you're here? 125 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:07,460 Yeah. I'm here because I killed Detective Sergeant Musgrave. 126 00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:15,560 I didn't mean that. I meant why we're here in this room, right? 127 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:21,500 Well, it's a three -year course leading to an Open University honours degree in 128 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:22,860 infrastructural studies. 129 00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:27,230 Now, for those of you who aren't quite clear what that is, let me explain first 130 00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:30,410 by telling you what it isn't. For a start, it isn't sociology. 131 00:10:31,270 --> 00:10:34,910 Bastards! That bastard governor promised me it wouldn't be sociology! 132 00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,970 He promised me I could do sociology! 133 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:41,070 And now he's pulled off this dirty trick! 134 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:47,370 Another sad victim of Monocle capitalism. 135 00:10:50,390 --> 00:10:51,550 There you go again. 136 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:56,360 I am sick of your rigid Marxist approach. There are more things to 137 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,600 analysis than dialectical and historical materialism. 138 00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:02,740 Name seven, you bourgeois reformist shitbag. 139 00:11:02,940 --> 00:11:04,860 Come on, Carl. Use your head. 140 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,160 Okay, then. 141 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:19,240 Is that the time? 142 00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:22,150 I've got to go and see Melvin Bragg. 143 00:11:22,870 --> 00:11:23,870 Bye -bye. 144 00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:25,070 Bye. 145 00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:33,330 God, 146 00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:39,750 I need a drink. 147 00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:41,670 I think I'll go down the pub. 148 00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:44,170 But how am I going to get there? 149 00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:46,210 A bicycle. 150 00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:51,320 The most efficient, the most... harmonious form of transport known to 151 00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:56,460 With this pinnacle of engineering perfection, a person can travel a 152 00:11:56,460 --> 00:12:02,420 miles at the speed of a panther using the energy from one two -ounce scotch 153 00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:05,620 with the elegance of an eight -ton walrus. 154 00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:10,460 Bicycles are important in this film. See how many you can spot. 155 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000 Hold it. 156 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,280 Don't move. 157 00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,680 You do know who we are, I suppose. 158 00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:02,520 There's some people here who don't seem to know who they are. 159 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,000 Yes, Mr Chipstick. 160 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,720 That's right, son. 161 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,200 Chipstick. And we've got you, haven't we? 162 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,540 Now, who would like a nice game of cricket? 163 00:13:26,350 --> 00:13:27,350 Go on then. 164 00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:28,790 Go on, ask me. 165 00:13:30,230 --> 00:13:31,490 Alright, what's the time? 166 00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,390 You're out. 167 00:14:05,489 --> 00:14:08,030 So, what happened, Dredd? What's going on? 168 00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:09,830 Easy, no? 169 00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:14,170 Dredd. The man's a true ball head, but the man talks to her in a Dredd -like 170 00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:15,190 style and fashion. 171 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:16,509 Yeah, man. 172 00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:19,070 Me a suffocated, CSE -graded one. 173 00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:20,610 So, what happened? 174 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:24,830 Well, I don't know, you know. All I know is right now, I, man, feel like a 175 00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:28,770 super, well -charged, angry, rude doll. 176 00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:32,350 So, how come the man a deal with the Babylon business? 177 00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:34,090 Say what? 178 00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:35,380 Where my dog? 179 00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:39,480 Babylon Business Retrieve. Yeah, I know her. 180 00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:43,700 Couple man just passed through and dropped some wicked sense upon her eyes. 181 00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:47,260 Until I said I must have the eye bread within this community, aye. 182 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,580 And I support that still, because there's free herbs. 183 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,460 And there's cool runnings in the community, you know what I'm saying? 184 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,780 But them people kind of wicked, wicked. 185 00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:59,580 Make a man feel vexed and massive. 186 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,400 Massive. That place crucial. 187 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,160 Crucial. Well, well, well. 188 00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,000 Oh, Moth. 189 00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:08,820 Good evening, Mr. Chipstick. 190 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,060 Yes, it is I, Chipstick of the Young. 191 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,060 Chipstick the Avenger. 192 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,320 Chipstick the Crime Cruncher. 193 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,920 Chipstick of Bleeding Toy Town. 194 00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:21,940 Tell me, Moth, do I look like naughty to you? 195 00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:26,780 Is there some resemblance to Mr. Plod I previously overlooked? 196 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,580 You can't blame me for your hard luck, Mr. Chipstick. 197 00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:33,180 No. 198 00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:37,780 No? I wasn't difficult to find. You were just looking in all the wrong places. 199 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:39,900 Biggest man under the century. 200 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:43,120 I didn't sleep for two weeks. 201 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,600 I know. That's why I hid in your bed. 202 00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:48,600 And I'd be there still if my brother hadn't grasped me up. 203 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,760 She's a nice lady, your wife. 204 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,480 Thirty I thought you'd get. 205 00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:56,500 But oh no. 206 00:15:56,780 --> 00:15:59,020 Old clever clocks get out in five. 207 00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:02,190 But I'm warning you, Moss. 208 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,490 There are some. 209 00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:07,830 I'm not necessarily saying I'm one of them. 210 00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:14,070 But there are those who are discussing a more permanent solution to the blight 211 00:16:14,070 --> 00:16:15,070 of my existence. 212 00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:25,210 Hey, you. Can you hear me, Carl? 213 00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:26,790 Hello. 214 00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:09,589 Hello, Dave. 215 00:17:09,589 --> 00:17:10,589 Hello, Carl. 216 00:17:10,690 --> 00:17:11,690 Heard you were out. 217 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:15,010 What happened to this place? 218 00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:18,190 It used to be a lovely little wine bar. 219 00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:22,589 Where's the food cabinet with the bits of quiche and the smoked herring? 220 00:17:22,990 --> 00:17:24,130 Where's the folk singer? 221 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:28,550 Where's the matcha rose bottle with the khaki candles in them? 222 00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:30,690 What's happened to the old place? 223 00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:32,070 Times change. 224 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:33,830 Been away a long time, Carl. 225 00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:36,150 New people moving in the area. 226 00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:38,010 Architects, designers. 227 00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:39,970 It's a post -modernist backlash. 228 00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:42,310 I don't want sophistication. 229 00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:47,690 Listen, I've got this little room out the back for the lair tonight. 230 00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:51,930 Now, maybe we haven't got the complete range of clarets and the game pies and 231 00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:54,510 all it should be, but it's the best I can do. 232 00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:57,950 So if you'd like to come this way... 233 00:17:57,950 --> 00:18:05,610 It's 234 00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:07,230 OK. This is Karl Moss. 235 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:08,820 Been away. 236 00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:24,880 So, what did it be, Carl? 237 00:18:25,860 --> 00:18:26,860 Well, 238 00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:36,220 I'm impressed by the sound of your Chianti Classico. 239 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:37,779 Robust, is it? 240 00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:38,780 I think you'll approve. 241 00:18:39,260 --> 00:18:40,260 Bottle? 242 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,800 Well, better make it a half. 243 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,860 I haven't drunk anything stronger than shoe polish for the last five years. 244 00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:48,160 Bottle might make me go a bit funny, you know. 245 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,400 Evening, Dave. 246 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,420 Quite a leap for our milch for the lads, please. 247 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,330 Oh, deary me, what a day I've had. 248 00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:12,150 Busy, busy, busy. 249 00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:17,010 Extortion, blackmail, pimping, lording with intent. 250 00:19:17,470 --> 00:19:20,110 And the traffic in the Euston Road is ridiculous. 251 00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:23,450 And the thing is, you can't delegate, can you? 252 00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:28,930 People are ringing me up all day saying, I can't get his arms in the mincer. Or, 253 00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:31,770 which end of the shotgun do you saw off? Exactly. 254 00:19:32,950 --> 00:19:34,190 It's terrible, isn't it? 255 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:36,550 What did you do today? 256 00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:39,510 I got out of prison where you put me. 257 00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:41,170 I never put you there, Carl. 258 00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:43,370 It was your own incompetence. 259 00:19:43,910 --> 00:19:46,110 You should have remembered what Mum taught us. 260 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:49,190 Always grass on your brother before he grasses on you. 261 00:19:49,410 --> 00:19:50,470 Yeah, but I was innocent. 262 00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:53,070 It was you what did for cheese dish and fireplace. 263 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:57,690 The most it could have got me for was listening with an air of approval if you 264 00:19:57,690 --> 00:19:59,610 and Chipstick hadn't fitted me up. 265 00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:01,770 You're a little weed, Carl. 266 00:20:02,010 --> 00:20:04,890 You always was, and you always was be. 267 00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:08,960 Oh, by the way, Mum's really upset that you ain't been round to see her yet. 268 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:14,140 But I told her there was probably some reasonable explanation, like, er, that 269 00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:18,320 you was a bed -wetting, oity -toity little pup who was too stuck up to come 270 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,520 visit his dear old mum. 271 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:25,000 Nevertheless, she still wants you back in the family firm, and we've got a 272 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,320 new racket now as well. 273 00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:31,480 Listen, I've got 428 educational qualifications. 274 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:33,940 I know more than God knows. 275 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,280 And I'm not going to piss all that knowledge up against a wall on cheap 276 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,280 villainy. 277 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:41,020 I want to do something noble. 278 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,960 I want to do something splendid. 279 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,920 I want to do something fine. I want to do something that really fucks you up. 280 00:20:50,060 --> 00:20:53,940 As Bertolt Brecht said, who's the real criminal? 281 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,140 He who robs a bank or he who founds one? 282 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,180 What? You're going to be a bank manager. 283 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,420 Carl's going to be a bank manager. 284 00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:09,740 Smelly vest, smelly vest. Have you passed your driving test? 285 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,540 You can sneer. 286 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,000 Yeah, I can. I can sneer. 287 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,900 Sneering's what I do best. 288 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:23,260 What's he got against cheap villainy? 289 00:21:23,860 --> 00:21:25,560 It's a man's life, isn't it? 290 00:21:26,340 --> 00:21:27,340 Crime? 291 00:21:28,740 --> 00:21:30,580 Property is theft. 292 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:39,560 And if you're very deft, you could be set in the back of a jag. 293 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,260 Right in the wake of a lucrative blag. 294 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,520 Crime? 295 00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,340 You need skill and stealth. 296 00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:57,940 Redistributing wealth. 297 00:21:59,300 --> 00:22:01,200 Practice makes perfect, so give it some time. 298 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,120 Step out of line and one day you will shine in. 299 00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:07,540 Christ. 300 00:22:10,020 --> 00:22:11,020 Christ. 301 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,400 Christ. 302 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,120 Christ. 303 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,580 I'm going to live in Stepney. 304 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,940 Corner the market in fruit. 305 00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:29,960 Learn all the underworld. 306 00:22:30,340 --> 00:22:31,340 I'll go. 307 00:22:32,430 --> 00:22:33,770 Spend every day in a suit. 308 00:22:50,230 --> 00:22:52,570 I'm going to go to Tesco's. 309 00:22:53,430 --> 00:22:55,730 Walk out the door with the till. 310 00:22:57,010 --> 00:22:59,730 Give lots of money to boys club. 311 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,940 Give lots of presents to policemen. 312 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,660 I'm gonna cry. 313 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,640 I'm gonna cry. 314 00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:38,780 I'm gonna cry. 315 00:23:39,380 --> 00:23:40,940 I'm gonna cry. 316 00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:45,080 I'm gonna cry when I mention 317 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:25,030 Let's have some service then. Choppy, choppy. Sweet and sour sardine 318 00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:26,009 balls twice. 319 00:24:26,010 --> 00:24:27,030 One curry pork. 320 00:24:27,790 --> 00:24:30,350 Fish spring rolls and a fly like Johnny. Chop, chop. 321 00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:49,940 Wow, 322 00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:52,060 you speak Cantonese? 323 00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:58,280 So, what do you want? 324 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,080 Okay, 325 00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:11,980 okay. 326 00:25:37,340 --> 00:25:39,440 Appearances can often be deceptive. 327 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,140 Wasn't it Dr. Johnson who once said, 328 00:25:46,139 --> 00:25:49,380 Consider also the story of the tortoise and the hare. 329 00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:54,400 Though the race was too swift, the tortoise moved to Los Angeles and put 330 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:55,400 head in a bucket. 331 00:25:56,980 --> 00:25:57,980 Jesus, I'm pissed. 332 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,480 But the thing is, I mustn't make me move. 333 00:26:01,780 --> 00:26:05,120 I must keep me head down until I've prepared me utensils. 334 00:26:05,820 --> 00:26:09,880 No, no, I don't mean utensils. Oh, God, what are them things? Them things, them 335 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,800 long things with bolts on the ends of them and curly bits, you know. 336 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:16,820 That's my bloody bike. 337 00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:19,480 Dr Martens, do your stuff! 338 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,339 Very nice. 339 00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:22,880 How many more for a full load? 340 00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:24,700 Seventeen. 341 00:27:25,380 --> 00:27:26,380 Eleven tomorrow. 342 00:27:26,940 --> 00:27:27,940 Tomorrow? 343 00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:29,640 Why not tonight? 344 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,980 Never put off till tomorrow what you can blag today. 345 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,120 What's this? 346 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:45,640 What? This? 347 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:47,320 It's a bell. 348 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:48,540 And what do bells do? 349 00:27:49,020 --> 00:27:50,020 Tingle in. 350 00:27:50,300 --> 00:27:52,420 I'll tell you what bells do. 351 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,720 Bells do very nicely as optional extras. 352 00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:00,180 That's what bells do. They do not come as standard kits. 353 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:01,800 Get it off. 354 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:22,899 out, Mark. 355 00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:23,839 I heard. 356 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,280 What? Grapevine? 357 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,140 No, telly. 358 00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:29,120 Is he coming at home? 359 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,840 Nah, he's moved in with his sociology teacher. 360 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,820 Oh, God. 361 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:39,300 This would never have happened if your father was still alive. 362 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,200 He's still alive. 363 00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:43,160 I thought I told you to kill him. 364 00:28:43,580 --> 00:28:45,060 Oh, yeah, I forgot. 365 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,160 I'll do it now, if you like. No, no, don't bother. 366 00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:50,780 I'm more concerned about Carl. 367 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,940 He's got some very funny ideas. 368 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,340 Oh, I reckon he's harmless, Ma. 369 00:28:56,540 --> 00:29:01,600 What can he do to hurt the firm? And if he does get uppity -uppity, we'll just 370 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:02,980 arrange a fatal accident. 371 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,040 With some drawing pins. 372 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:11,380 Anything good on the telly? Well, there was a programme on about fish earlier, 373 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:12,740 but that's gone off. 374 00:29:13,140 --> 00:29:15,100 I'm going to bed, then. You all right? 375 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:19,080 Yeah. I might go out a bit later on and gap a few badgers. 376 00:29:19,820 --> 00:29:21,380 Yeah, you do that, then. 377 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,760 See ya. Nighty -nighty. 378 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,580 Oh, me the night boy. 379 00:29:48,060 --> 00:29:50,660 Blessed Virgin, Mother of Four. 380 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,260 Please be merciful on my son. 381 00:29:53,940 --> 00:30:00,100 Not Carl, the one who talks the Liverpool accent, but my little 382 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,860 he's a lovely boy. 383 00:30:04,860 --> 00:30:08,400 Psychopathic, but fair with it, like I've brought him up. 384 00:30:08,740 --> 00:30:12,580 Please see that no harm comes to him, blessed lady. 385 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000 All right. 386 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,240 You'll find the cheque in the post, as usual. 387 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:22,420 Yeah, well, basically, Carl, you're on a standard 40 -hour week, which can be 388 00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:26,020 increased to 45 hours without overtime payments or time off in lieu. 389 00:30:26,220 --> 00:30:29,360 Right. And that's about it, really, except for good luck. 390 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,100 Yeah. Look, are you nervous? 391 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,760 Just that a lot of people do find our young adult a bit overwhelming. 392 00:30:36,620 --> 00:30:40,680 Yeah, well, I've been in a lot of tight spots and unfamiliar situations over the 393 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:45,000 years, you know, and I've evolved a kind of methodology for stopping a situation 394 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,140 from getting out of control. 395 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:47,880 I'll be all right. 396 00:31:19,310 --> 00:31:20,310 playing a game. 397 00:31:22,050 --> 00:31:23,050 Oh, yeah. 398 00:31:23,350 --> 00:31:24,350 It's easy, that. 399 00:31:24,910 --> 00:31:26,070 Explosive charge or something. 400 00:31:28,690 --> 00:31:30,710 Hang on. 401 00:31:31,350 --> 00:31:34,610 That's right. There's somebody downstairs with a... There ain't no 402 00:31:38,890 --> 00:31:39,890 Good. 403 00:31:40,310 --> 00:31:41,370 Good morning, class. 404 00:31:41,730 --> 00:31:44,930 I'm Mr Karl Moss, your unstructured activities coordinator. 405 00:31:46,310 --> 00:31:48,790 Today... We will do lying on the floor. 406 00:31:49,370 --> 00:31:53,750 You will lie on the floor. You will continue to lie on the floor. And if you 407 00:31:53,750 --> 00:31:55,950 move a single muscle, I will kill you. 408 00:31:56,430 --> 00:32:00,570 Now, while you're lying on the floor, I would like to put to you a very simple 409 00:32:00,570 --> 00:32:01,570 proposition. 410 00:32:02,810 --> 00:32:05,250 Consider the wave of the anaconda. 411 00:32:05,450 --> 00:32:07,150 It strikes, but rarely. 412 00:32:07,410 --> 00:32:10,610 It bides its time. It waits for its moment. 413 00:32:10,850 --> 00:32:12,390 Then it strikes. 414 00:32:13,510 --> 00:32:14,910 Sometimes it misses. 415 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:16,640 Bounds its head on a tree. 416 00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:18,960 It's a horrible slimy thing anyway. 417 00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:22,400 Consider this proposition. 418 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,880 Who is the real criminal? 419 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:31,740 He who steals bikes or he who makes them? Or she who 420 00:32:31,740 --> 00:32:33,480 makes his traps. 421 00:32:36,060 --> 00:32:38,920 Now you are scum. 422 00:32:39,620 --> 00:32:42,100 Filth. The lowest of the low. 423 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:43,660 Petty criminals. 424 00:32:44,190 --> 00:32:46,790 nicking bites from my puss -bag brother. 425 00:32:47,210 --> 00:32:51,090 Now, I too have dedicated my life to crime. 426 00:32:51,290 --> 00:32:56,250 And as a recidivist criminal, I ask you this simple question. 427 00:32:57,890 --> 00:33:02,530 Is crime right or wrong? 428 00:33:03,350 --> 00:33:04,870 Right. Wrong. 429 00:33:07,210 --> 00:33:12,090 Politically, philosophically, politically, morally and mathematically, 430 00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:13,190 are wrong. 431 00:33:13,850 --> 00:33:18,630 Why? Because they are antisocial. They are people of limited brain power and 432 00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:23,510 even less willpower who break the laws of society when they should be doing the 433 00:33:23,510 --> 00:33:26,190 real work, which is to change them. 434 00:33:26,950 --> 00:33:32,410 Criminals are people who steal from, cheat on, grass and betray their own 435 00:33:32,630 --> 00:33:36,630 their own family, their own friends, their own radio cassette players, their 436 00:33:36,630 --> 00:33:39,010 nice shoes and their own heated towel rails. 437 00:33:39,330 --> 00:33:41,950 You might think I'm talking rubbish, but... 438 00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:50,670 My brother Sterling will betray you just as he betrayed me. 439 00:33:51,710 --> 00:33:53,550 Is there no answer to this dilemma? 440 00:33:54,230 --> 00:33:57,390 Yes, there is an answer. There is an answer. 441 00:33:57,990 --> 00:34:00,530 For I had a dream, my friend. 442 00:34:00,810 --> 00:34:02,070 I had a dream. 443 00:34:02,650 --> 00:34:08,250 I dreamt that all over this great nation and all over the great nations of the 444 00:34:08,250 --> 00:34:10,650 world there was machinery like this. 445 00:34:11,159 --> 00:34:16,100 rotting and wasting in schools and factories and community centres. 446 00:34:16,420 --> 00:34:22,280 And I dreamed that there were people, people with skills and talents and 447 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:26,280 abilities, like the machines were rotting and wasting. 448 00:34:26,620 --> 00:34:31,800 And I dreamed of taking those resources, those people, those machines, and with 449 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:36,199 them, forging a new spirit in the world, a spirit of trust. 450 00:34:36,730 --> 00:34:39,810 and cooperation and enterprise and creativity. 451 00:34:40,090 --> 00:34:43,969 Oh, yes, I had a dream, my friends. I had a dream. 452 00:34:44,330 --> 00:34:50,770 And I dreamt that this new spirit would seize the imagination of a generation 453 00:34:50,770 --> 00:34:57,670 until everywhere this new economy was the only economy. Oh, yes, I had a 454 00:34:57,750 --> 00:35:01,810 my friends. I had a dream. And then, then... 455 00:35:02,170 --> 00:35:06,970 Suddenly my dream changed and I was in a swimming pool and the swimming pool was 456 00:35:06,970 --> 00:35:11,610 full of small brown puppies and each of the puppies had the face of a 19th 457 00:35:11,610 --> 00:35:15,010 century politician and one of the puppies, one of the puppies that had the 458 00:35:15,010 --> 00:35:19,670 of Lord Palmerston suddenly started shouting at me, where's the spoons? 459 00:35:19,670 --> 00:35:21,750 the spoons? Where's the bloody spoons? 460 00:35:26,210 --> 00:35:27,210 Any questions? 461 00:35:27,530 --> 00:35:30,790 What happens if we don't take any notice of what you say ever? 462 00:35:34,609 --> 00:35:35,609 Yeah, I see. 463 00:35:36,630 --> 00:35:38,330 Well then, what is it we're going to build? 464 00:36:15,740 --> 00:36:17,060 After this bike! 465 00:36:21,460 --> 00:36:22,780 It's easy this, isn't it? 466 00:36:23,140 --> 00:36:28,980 Consider the ways of the grebe. They swim, they fly, but do they road test 467 00:36:28,980 --> 00:36:31,220 bicycles? Do they shite? 468 00:36:52,970 --> 00:36:53,970 Hello, Mum. 469 00:36:54,010 --> 00:36:56,310 Hello, Sterling. Killed your dad yet? 470 00:36:56,690 --> 00:36:59,090 No. I had him cornered, but he ran off. 471 00:36:59,430 --> 00:37:04,430 Your dad's a nice enough man, but he let his glasses fall in the custard once 472 00:37:04,430 --> 00:37:05,430 too often. 473 00:37:06,790 --> 00:37:07,790 What are you reading? 474 00:37:08,550 --> 00:37:09,670 The dictionary. 475 00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:12,630 Compassion. 476 00:37:13,330 --> 00:37:15,390 I don't know the meaning of the word. 477 00:37:15,830 --> 00:37:16,830 Me neither. 478 00:37:17,810 --> 00:37:18,810 Where's the kids? 479 00:37:18,930 --> 00:37:20,550 Kids? Yeah. 480 00:37:21,010 --> 00:37:22,310 They're not in the yard. 481 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:24,180 They haven't been there for days. 482 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,300 I think they've gone, ma 'am. 483 00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:27,540 Where? 484 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:29,480 I don't know. 485 00:37:29,660 --> 00:37:32,860 We've got a big order to fill as well, and nobody to do the nicking. 486 00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:35,780 Quite frankly, I'm anxious, ma 'am. 487 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:41,700 I reckon our car's got something to do with it. He's uppity, uppity, and he 488 00:37:41,700 --> 00:37:43,320 needs some lessons teaching. 489 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:45,000 I'll deal with him. 490 00:37:45,700 --> 00:37:46,700 Yes, ma 'am. 491 00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:51,200 Sterling, I know that look. 492 00:37:52,490 --> 00:37:54,430 Are you going to do something silly? 493 00:37:55,350 --> 00:37:56,350 No, ma. 494 00:37:59,350 --> 00:38:01,230 Bing, bong, bing, bong. 495 00:38:01,730 --> 00:38:02,730 What am I, ma? 496 00:38:03,410 --> 00:38:05,550 You're a silly bugger, Sterling. 497 00:38:07,550 --> 00:38:08,550 Compassion. 498 00:38:12,930 --> 00:38:13,970 You can't leave. 499 00:38:14,210 --> 00:38:15,210 You can't! 500 00:38:15,810 --> 00:38:17,390 Where the hell do you think you're going to go? 501 00:38:17,830 --> 00:38:19,510 I'm going to stay at Naples Street. 502 00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:20,830 It's not residential. 503 00:38:21,610 --> 00:38:22,610 Anyway, I love you. 504 00:38:25,110 --> 00:38:26,170 What's going to happen to me? 505 00:38:26,410 --> 00:38:27,510 What about my reputation? 506 00:38:28,570 --> 00:38:30,150 Well, if you won't think of me, think of the kids. 507 00:38:30,370 --> 00:38:31,890 What are they going to do without you? 508 00:38:32,290 --> 00:38:33,810 We're going with him. 509 00:38:34,890 --> 00:38:38,810 I've wallpapered the utility room. There's some macaroni cheese in the 510 00:38:38,810 --> 00:38:39,810 now. Fuck off. 511 00:38:40,550 --> 00:38:41,550 Come on, kids. 512 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:58,960 Never cross swords with the Trotskyist child of the middle classes, Carl. 513 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:01,520 Bastard! Cross! 514 00:39:02,620 --> 00:39:04,500 Bastard! Bastard! Cross! 515 00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:07,900 Bastard! Cross! Sign these, Eddie. 516 00:39:08,380 --> 00:39:09,480 What are they? 517 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:14,480 Carl's parole order at section 27 and a check for 800 pounds. As Carl's 518 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,400 probation officer, social worker and licensed driving instructor. 519 00:39:18,170 --> 00:39:22,470 I want to revoke his parole and commit him to a dangerously unsupervised mental 520 00:39:22,470 --> 00:39:25,990 hospital. Anything you say, Pussy Willow. 521 00:39:27,010 --> 00:39:32,030 Now, all we have to do is to get him to that community centre and serve it on 522 00:39:32,030 --> 00:39:33,030 him. 523 00:39:36,110 --> 00:39:37,330 Well? All right. 524 00:39:37,670 --> 00:39:40,490 Well, due to my brilliant thousandship, we're already in business with one of 525 00:39:40,490 --> 00:39:41,490 Sterling's old customers. 526 00:39:41,950 --> 00:39:46,010 The union of nostalgic butcher's boys want 20 traditional roasters by Monday 527 00:39:46,010 --> 00:39:47,170 with baskets. 528 00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:48,468 Oh, brilliant. 529 00:39:48,470 --> 00:39:52,810 It'll mean working two shifts, but we can do it. Come on, girls. 530 00:39:53,230 --> 00:39:54,230 Factory's open. 531 00:40:23,660 --> 00:40:28,160 Making bikes down Old Naples Street School and using our bloody kids. 532 00:40:28,500 --> 00:40:29,399 He's never. 533 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:32,140 I'll kill him. No, you won't. 534 00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:35,020 I'll kill him. It's my turn. 535 00:40:36,060 --> 00:40:37,720 You killed the coal man. 536 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:42,820 Yeah, and you killed that lady what come with the make -up. And all the meals on 537 00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:43,820 wheels, people. 538 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:45,420 Oh, they don't count. 539 00:40:45,780 --> 00:40:46,780 They don't, eh? 540 00:40:47,660 --> 00:40:49,960 Well, look what I've got. 541 00:40:51,790 --> 00:40:53,110 Sterling, that's my stick. 542 00:40:53,570 --> 00:40:55,510 That's my lucky stick. 543 00:40:55,990 --> 00:40:58,110 It's my stick now, isn't it? 544 00:40:58,470 --> 00:41:03,030 You stay here, Mum. I'll fix Carl. Mickey, run. 545 00:41:04,150 --> 00:41:07,550 Sterling, Sterling, that's my lucky stick. 546 00:41:12,370 --> 00:41:14,230 Hey, Sterling's coming. 547 00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:34,100 Here's cold runny nose playing with the littler kids again. 548 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:35,480 Piss off, Sterling. 549 00:41:36,580 --> 00:41:40,700 We can't have this, can we, Mr. Oh -So -Mighty -Gender -Bender? 550 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:45,240 If our dear old mam had wanted you to be a bike manufacturer, she would have 551 00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:48,540 given you a Meccano set and not nervous eczema. 552 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,260 You're always trying to break my toys, Sterling. 553 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,820 I was breaking the wrong things then, wasn't I? 554 00:41:54,180 --> 00:41:55,560 It's you I'm going to break. 555 00:42:26,060 --> 00:42:29,200 You should always put a dead badger on a head wound. 556 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:38,000 Now, if we could just get in there mob -handed and smash up all his equipment, 557 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,720 then he wouldn't be able to make any bicycles no more. 558 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,140 But he's got that place sealed up tighter than a very tight thing. 559 00:42:44,580 --> 00:42:45,580 So? 560 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,620 So, how are we going to get in there, Mum? 561 00:42:49,060 --> 00:42:51,780 Oh, they must open the door sometime. 562 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,100 Yeah, but when? 563 00:42:55,760 --> 00:43:00,300 Four, five, four. I smell the blood out of Babylon. 564 00:43:00,780 --> 00:43:06,820 North, south, west and east. The one thing we love is the community, people. 565 00:43:06,820 --> 00:43:08,400 are community rocking. 566 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,480 Lord me God, community rocking. 567 00:43:11,740 --> 00:43:12,740 Yeah. 568 00:43:37,750 --> 00:43:40,770 You can't come in unless you're accompanied by senior citizens. 569 00:43:41,250 --> 00:43:42,550 Who do you think this is? 570 00:43:42,930 --> 00:43:43,990 Ben Kingsley. 571 00:43:44,530 --> 00:43:45,530 I'm 85. 572 00:43:46,590 --> 00:43:48,130 Yeah, she's 85. 573 00:43:48,750 --> 00:43:50,870 You still like her, don't you, dear? 574 00:43:51,130 --> 00:43:54,770 I may be a lovable old cockney racist. 575 00:43:55,340 --> 00:43:58,460 But I do like my reggae music. 576 00:43:59,620 --> 00:44:00,940 Come on, darling. 577 00:44:01,420 --> 00:44:02,640 Give us a hand. 578 00:44:31,470 --> 00:44:32,510 Evening, piglet. 579 00:44:33,370 --> 00:44:34,730 Oh my god! 580 00:44:36,330 --> 00:44:39,250 Dare I dare I dare I dare I dare. What's the matter with you? 581 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:40,840 So cold, isn't it? 582 00:44:41,100 --> 00:44:45,140 You had such eye -opes for the lad, didn't you? You thought the people would 583 00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:49,800 look at you and say, there goes the redoubtable Pauline Lord Longford sneak. 584 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:54,820 There goes the bird what turned a crazy, mad psychopath into a cross between 585 00:44:54,820 --> 00:44:58,880 Albert Einstein and the proprietor of an arrogant gift shop. 586 00:44:59,380 --> 00:45:01,660 Well, he's laughing at you now. 587 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,280 Laughing, laughing, laughing. 588 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,820 Ha, ha, ha. 589 00:45:07,100 --> 00:45:08,100 What do you mean? 590 00:45:09,130 --> 00:45:11,050 He's back to his old ways, isn't he? 591 00:45:11,570 --> 00:45:16,370 Operating an illicit bicycle factory on these very premises, using young people 592 00:45:16,370 --> 00:45:19,670 who up to now have been gainfully unemployed to make things. 593 00:45:20,530 --> 00:45:21,530 Making things? 594 00:45:22,390 --> 00:45:24,790 That makes my gall dry as it does. 595 00:45:25,070 --> 00:45:28,310 I reckon this probation officer should do something about it. 596 00:45:28,830 --> 00:45:29,830 She will. 597 00:45:30,850 --> 00:45:34,970 We've got to do it all legal like, though. What we need is our policeman. 598 00:45:36,510 --> 00:45:37,710 Isn't it funny, eh? 599 00:45:38,140 --> 00:45:41,100 Whenever you want one, there's always fucking millions of them. 600 00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:42,760 Free! 601 00:45:44,180 --> 00:45:45,860 Nelson Mandela! 602 00:45:48,380 --> 00:45:49,380 Free! 603 00:45:50,860 --> 00:45:52,800 I've got a present for you, Mr Chipstick. 604 00:45:53,260 --> 00:45:54,440 Not now, Sterling. 605 00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:56,020 Just leave it in the usual place. 606 00:45:56,280 --> 00:46:00,580 Nah, this is better than that. This is something which means that you can stop 607 00:46:00,580 --> 00:46:02,820 being Chief Inspector Goody Two -Shoes. 608 00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:07,300 You can stop being the good apple that spoils the otherwise rotten barrel and 609 00:46:07,300 --> 00:46:09,360 get back to some proper pleasing. 610 00:47:17,740 --> 00:47:19,000 He's upset, isn't he? 611 00:47:19,700 --> 00:47:22,580 That's when I used to break his toys in there, when we were here at school. 612 00:47:23,140 --> 00:47:25,840 He'd go where he used to go then, when he was upset. 613 00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:23,260 Smelly vest, smelly vest, have you passed your driving test? 614 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:36,980 So, is the little boy what was sticking his shoe on Coronation Day? 615 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:49,880 Me alone. 616 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:51,600 I can't do that. 617 00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:53,120 I mean, we're twins. 618 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,280 We're intrinsically linked. 619 00:48:55,860 --> 00:48:59,740 We feel the same feelings, think the same thoughts. 620 00:49:00,300 --> 00:49:04,000 I mean, that's why I didn't feel too bad about sending you away for 30 years. 621 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:06,760 I knew that we were serving the time together. 622 00:49:07,340 --> 00:49:12,400 I never saw you in the cell. I was there in spirit, intrinsically linked -like. 623 00:49:13,620 --> 00:49:14,900 Can't go on like this. 624 00:49:15,850 --> 00:49:18,250 Two bodies fighting over the same personality. 625 00:49:19,150 --> 00:49:24,210 It's like two hyenas fighting over a dead Zimmerman's gazelle. 626 00:49:24,730 --> 00:49:25,810 You know what happens. 627 00:49:27,150 --> 00:49:29,350 Eventually one hyena kills the other. 628 00:49:30,010 --> 00:49:31,010 No, it doesn't. 629 00:49:31,410 --> 00:49:38,170 If I remember your sociobiology tutorials, one hyena proves itself 630 00:49:38,170 --> 00:49:40,730 other submits, and now blood is shed. 631 00:49:41,470 --> 00:49:43,890 It's no life for a psychopath, then, is it, eh? 632 00:49:44,110 --> 00:49:45,250 Being a hyena. 633 00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:10,820 Dad. Good boy. 634 00:50:11,380 --> 00:50:12,380 Out of the way. 635 00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:17,050 You know, It's not a bad racket here, dear. 636 00:50:17,530 --> 00:50:18,590 Idealistic socialism. 637 00:50:18,930 --> 00:50:20,830 I think I might give it a go myself. 638 00:50:24,210 --> 00:50:27,490 I revoke your parole and sentence you to death. 639 00:50:27,690 --> 00:50:28,750 You're too late. 640 00:50:32,290 --> 00:50:36,670 If this is Karl Moss, why has he got Stirling's haircut? 641 00:50:37,990 --> 00:50:41,610 How do we know that you are Stirling, Stirling? 642 00:50:43,630 --> 00:50:45,070 How do we know that you're not Carl? 643 00:50:46,430 --> 00:50:47,430 Carl? 644 00:50:49,910 --> 00:50:52,930 Mrs. Moss, surely you can tell? 645 00:50:53,150 --> 00:50:55,590 You're Sterling, aren't you, Carl? 646 00:50:55,890 --> 00:51:00,530 My boy, back in charge of the old gang again. 647 00:51:00,870 --> 00:51:03,030 Yes, but which one? 648 00:51:03,530 --> 00:51:10,530 And now our story's finished. Our 649 00:51:10,530 --> 00:51:11,830 tale is almost told. 650 00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:17,140 But can we find a moral in the story of the Moss Brothers so bold? 651 00:51:17,740 --> 00:51:19,960 Well, this country's based on stealing. 652 00:51:20,220 --> 00:51:22,200 The poor are on the rack. 653 00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:28,780 But men like me will always be plotting to steal this country back. 654 00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,460 Here, didn't you kill my brother? 655 00:51:46,740 --> 00:51:48,380 Shut up and keep walking. 656 00:52:18,860 --> 00:52:21,060 Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't you kill, my brother? 657 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:24,600 Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't you kill, my brother? 658 00:52:26,940 --> 00:52:29,600 Where's the spring? Where's the bloody spring? 659 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,800 Smelly bass, smelly bass, exit off your driving test. 660 00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:38,060 I haven't killed your dad yet. 661 00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:40,580 I can't get his arms in the mincer. 662 00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:45,160 Didn't you kill, didn't you kill, didn't you kill, my brother? 663 00:52:46,020 --> 00:52:49,200 Didn't you kill? Kidney killed. Kidney killed. My brother. 664 00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:08,420 Hearted in a very tight thing. 49225

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