subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for The Comic Strip s02e02 Dirty Movie

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:55,600 Um, you haven't got a letterbox. 2 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:57,880 I know. 3 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,960 That's because I never get any letters. 4 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:02,640 Well, you've got one today. 5 00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:04,660 Oh. 6 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:08,639 Have you got a chisel? 7 00:02:09,699 --> 00:02:10,780 I'll go and get one. 8 00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:17,240 Hurry up, you lazy bastard! 9 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,560 Sorry, I was as quick as I could be. 10 00:02:35,910 --> 00:02:36,910 What's happening? 11 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:38,390 What's going on? 12 00:02:39,770 --> 00:02:40,910 Look, give me the binoculars. 13 00:02:41,490 --> 00:02:44,870 All right, I can see perfectly well what's happening. Thank you very much. 14 00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:47,910 All right, you can have them. 15 00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:51,070 You're two doors away. 16 00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:58,010 Pass me a sandwich, will you? 17 00:02:58,290 --> 00:02:59,290 All right. 18 00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:08,310 How does it look from the inside? 19 00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:12,690 It's good from here. 20 00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:14,830 Right. Okay, then. 21 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,130 Good morning. 22 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:24,250 Wait a minute. 23 00:03:24,570 --> 00:03:27,710 This isn't for me. It's for number 166 next door. 24 00:03:28,690 --> 00:03:29,690 You see? 25 00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:32,050 I told you I never got any letters. 26 00:03:32,430 --> 00:03:33,950 Yeah. Yes, you're right. 27 00:03:35,510 --> 00:03:36,510 Sorry. 28 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:08,720 Hang on. 29 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,320 There he is. 30 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:26,740 What did you do that for? 31 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,680 Well, I'm a policeman, aren't I? 32 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:30,900 Did I get him? 33 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:49,880 The usual things? 34 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:51,880 Peace? 35 00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:53,420 Happiness? 36 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,700 And you got me off the lavatory to tell me this? 37 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:02,100 I didn't get you off the lavatory. Well, somebody got me off the lavatory. 38 00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:04,940 Were you stuck? 39 00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:06,140 What? 40 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,360 I've got a letter for you. 41 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:20,440 My bloody belt! 42 00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:19,830 Morning, June. 43 00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:31,050 I, uh... I wonder if the post's arrived yet. 44 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:42,750 Ah! The Sound of Muzak. 45 00:07:43,990 --> 00:07:46,650 My most favourite film of all time. 46 00:08:00,650 --> 00:08:01,970 You ask me, it's a stupid idea. 47 00:08:03,090 --> 00:08:05,190 Well, then I'm not very likely to ask you, then, am I, June? 48 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,970 And who's ever heard of a filming show at nine o 'clock on a Monday morning? 49 00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:11,730 I have. 50 00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:23,130 Who's going to want to come and see it at that time in the morning, Terry? 51 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,170 June, have you ever heard of a thing called commuters? 52 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,100 And have you ever heard of a thing called business enterprise? 53 00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:31,940 Hmm? 54 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,320 And have you ever heard of a thing called anything, June? 55 00:08:35,580 --> 00:08:37,020 No. No, you haven't, have you? 56 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:38,960 But I have. 57 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,500 This country needs it. If there were more people in this country like me, if 58 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:49,960 everybody in this country was me... Well, you'd have a pretty weird 59 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:50,960 directory, wouldn't you? 60 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:54,840 Tea? 61 00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:56,380 Well, what do you think? 62 00:08:56,510 --> 00:08:57,570 To get stupid ideas. 63 00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:00,830 All right, well, I'll have some coffee, then. 64 00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:03,650 I'll put my curry powder. 65 00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:06,270 What is the matter with you this morning, Joan? 66 00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:07,790 Sorry, Joan. 67 00:09:10,890 --> 00:09:12,990 The stupid getting -up -early business. 68 00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:15,910 I mean, what's the point? Nobody's going to come. 69 00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:17,830 They're all too busy doing jobs. 70 00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:24,870 Absolutely nobody is going to want to come and see the sound of music if you 71 00:09:24,870 --> 00:09:26,230 show it at nine o 'clock this morning. 72 00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:32,330 Do you really think so? 73 00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:34,110 Right. 74 00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:43,770 A nine o 'clock showing. 75 00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:45,690 How enterprising. 76 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:50,250 That's just the ticket for shift workers like me that finished work at 8 .30. 77 00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:52,510 Breakfast, dear. 78 00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:54,370 Oh, thank you, Monica. 79 00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:57,730 Hello, breakfast. 80 00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:00,810 I hope you haven't double parked. 81 00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:03,050 No, dear. 82 00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:09,370 What are you going to do with yourself today, my darling? 83 00:10:10,970 --> 00:10:15,250 I'm going to see the nine o 'clock showing of The Sound of Music. 84 00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:19,030 A nine o 'clock showing? How enterprising. 85 00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:21,110 Sweetheart. 86 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,380 I think breakfast is escaping. 87 00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,600 He's been restless all morning. 88 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,540 I think he wants to go out. 89 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,260 Do you want to go for a wee -wee, hmm, breakfast? 90 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,800 It's a funny name for a lobster. 91 00:11:14,030 --> 00:11:15,030 Good morning, Chief. 92 00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:16,090 Correct. 93 00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:23,030 Good morning. I found this on my front doorstep. 94 00:11:26,690 --> 00:11:30,010 It looks like a police bullet, Chief. 95 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,870 I know it doesn't. 96 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:38,570 That bullet was used to immobilize my front doorbell. 97 00:11:39,370 --> 00:11:40,370 However... 98 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:44,360 I'm attaching absolutely no importance to it. It's just one of these things. 99 00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:51,520 Ladies and gentlemen, this is a naked 100 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,520 woman. 101 00:11:53,960 --> 00:12:00,800 I have reason to believe that a motion picture film using images such as 102 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,260 these is in our town. 103 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,460 This is photography. 104 00:12:09,130 --> 00:12:15,090 photography and i will not pornography chief thank you sergeant smart alec 105 00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:21,830 bastard in our time i want this film behind bars i want the purveyors 106 00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:27,410 of this film behind bars i want anyone who's seen this film or contemplated 107 00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:33,630 going to see this film behind bars and that gentleman is your job we know chief 108 00:12:33,630 --> 00:12:38,190 you told us all this yesterday did i oh well there you go then all right 109 00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:43,920 Actually, I'm going your way, my darling, so I may as well walk with you. 110 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,980 On second thoughts, it might be quicker the long way round. 111 00:13:14,410 --> 00:13:16,130 or some bastard will take my parking place. 112 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:58,239 See you there, June. 113 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,080 June, don't be late. 114 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,440 What do you think you're doing? 115 00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:44,740 This is private property. 116 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,160 I've come to see the film. 117 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,580 Oh, I was wrong, darling. I do apologise. 118 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:50,920 Shut up, June. 119 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,640 What film? 120 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:55,520 The Sound of Muzak. 121 00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:58,100 Oh, it's off. 122 00:14:58,980 --> 00:14:59,980 What do you mean? 123 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,040 Er, we've left the film. 124 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,160 Well, what's that? 125 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:11,349 There it is. 126 00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:12,390 We found the film, June. 127 00:15:12,610 --> 00:15:13,650 Didn't know we'd lost it, dear. 128 00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:14,890 Shut up. 129 00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:17,390 Bloody hell. 130 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,450 Bloody hell. 131 00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:20,730 Bloody hell. Bloody hell. 132 00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:22,690 Bloody hell. Bloody hell. 133 00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:27,330 It'll be open in just a minute and then you'll be able to buy your ticket and 134 00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:28,330 some cigarettes. 135 00:15:32,050 --> 00:15:33,050 Some chewing gum. 136 00:15:38,530 --> 00:15:39,530 Some Smarties. 137 00:15:43,180 --> 00:15:44,860 It's turned out nice again, hasn't it? 138 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,520 I've got to clean the carpet when I get home. 139 00:16:22,030 --> 00:16:23,030 Thank you, June. 140 00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:28,390 Righty -ho, then. Well, if you're ready, I'll open the doors, then, shall I? 141 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:30,510 OK, love. 142 00:16:56,810 --> 00:16:58,270 Shut up! Excuse me. Shut up! 143 00:16:58,710 --> 00:16:59,850 Excuse me. Shut up! 144 00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:04,250 What? 145 00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:09,890 Um... Well, I was first in the queue. 146 00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:11,250 Yeah? 147 00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:13,250 So how can it be full? 148 00:17:14,329 --> 00:17:15,329 What do you mean, full? 149 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,329 Look. 150 00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:21,030 House full. 151 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:24,829 Oh, sorry, yeah. 152 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:26,560 It's the wrong notice again. 153 00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:28,319 Stupid me. 154 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,680 There's no need to. Here they come. 155 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,880 Ahoy! Comfortable! 156 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,380 Yeah, 157 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,640 this looks like a cinema, all right. 158 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:19,580 Hey, cinemas show films. 159 00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:21,180 Oh, the penny snaps. 160 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:24,440 Let's go! 161 00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:35,850 What's your game, Sonny? 162 00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:40,170 Well, I was just trying to say this film. 163 00:18:40,390 --> 00:18:43,230 I bet you were. I bet you were, you dirty bastard. 164 00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:45,470 Oh, I get it. 165 00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:48,310 Dirty bastard, dirty film. 166 00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:50,510 Right, now then, what's your name? 167 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,110 Nigel. Not you, Nigel. You. 168 00:18:54,770 --> 00:18:55,870 Mr Bean. 169 00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:57,790 That's a funny name for a lobster. 170 00:18:58,590 --> 00:18:59,590 Sarge. 171 00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:06,870 Sarge. He's not a lobster, Sarge. I know. I'm just trying to disorientate 172 00:19:07,190 --> 00:19:08,550 Don't do that. You'll get him confused. 173 00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:10,930 That's the whole point. That's what I'm trying to do. 174 00:19:11,210 --> 00:19:13,410 Oh, I get it. 175 00:19:14,950 --> 00:19:16,390 There, that's confused him. 176 00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:17,810 Now, get up. 177 00:19:18,590 --> 00:19:20,310 And that is just a warning. 178 00:19:21,530 --> 00:19:26,970 A warning about what, exactly? A warning about... Tell him, Nigel. 179 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:32,260 That is just a warning about what it's like to get smashed in the face, sonny. 180 00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:34,180 Don't you forget it. 181 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,000 What? This. 182 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,620 Now then, tell us about this film. 183 00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:46,960 Well, it starts off with this nun. Yes, yes, yes. We know it's dirty, but where 184 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,160 is it? I don't know. 185 00:19:49,380 --> 00:19:50,460 Don't mess with the boat. 186 00:19:59,050 --> 00:19:59,809 Oh, no. 187 00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:00,810 Another suicide. 188 00:20:01,290 --> 00:20:03,030 You must be more careful, Nigel. 189 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:05,790 Let's stick him down that manhole. 190 00:20:35,469 --> 00:20:36,750 Right, up on the roof. 191 00:20:39,810 --> 00:20:42,290 Well, the film's all fixed and ready to roll, June. 192 00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:46,790 What a pity I inadvertently gave Felix the projectionist the day off today. 193 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,450 I'll have to show it myself. 194 00:20:51,570 --> 00:20:55,230 Have, er... You went to the toilet recently, June? 195 00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:57,470 Yes, dear. 196 00:20:58,150 --> 00:20:59,150 Why, I reply. 197 00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:00,450 Was it for friendly interest? 198 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:08,779 Nine o 'clock. 199 00:21:08,780 --> 00:21:09,780 I'd better show the film. 200 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,440 But, Terry, no -one's bought a ticket. There's nobody to show it to. Yes, I 201 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,440 that, June. 202 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,380 But I thought I'd better just check it, you know. 203 00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:26,820 You know, you'd better stay in here and not go out at all in case of late 204 00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:27,820 arrival, see? 205 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:33,300 And seeing as how it's a special day today, June, you can eat as many sweets 206 00:21:33,300 --> 00:21:34,300 you want. 207 00:22:52,270 --> 00:22:53,970 You're right Sarge, we'll have to use the ladder. 208 00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:22,610 All right, then. You go, Poe. 209 00:23:46,070 --> 00:23:49,730 One for the stalls, please. 210 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,020 Yeah. Do you want confectionery? 211 00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:04,080 What have you got? 212 00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:07,620 About half a Mars bar somewhere. 213 00:24:12,420 --> 00:24:16,920 I don't think I'll bother, thank you. 214 00:24:18,540 --> 00:24:21,160 Is that the way out? 215 00:24:24,909 --> 00:24:25,909 It's locked! 216 00:25:11,189 --> 00:25:13,390 Yes. It's a dirty movie, all right. 217 00:25:20,470 --> 00:25:21,630 He's digging his own nest. 218 00:25:23,450 --> 00:25:24,409 Right, then. 219 00:25:24,410 --> 00:25:26,030 Shall we go down and nab him, Sergeant? 220 00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:27,249 No, no. 221 00:25:27,250 --> 00:25:30,350 Let's let him see the whole film through, then the sentence will be more 222 00:25:31,110 --> 00:25:32,110 Good idea. 223 00:25:32,610 --> 00:25:33,770 Can I turn first? 224 00:26:07,950 --> 00:26:08,950 Various things. 225 00:26:10,090 --> 00:26:13,290 Leaves and notices. 226 00:26:15,290 --> 00:26:16,830 Oh, look, some nuns. 227 00:26:17,750 --> 00:26:21,530 We're 16 going on six. 228 00:26:22,650 --> 00:26:24,070 Hello, miss. I'm an orphan. 229 00:26:24,590 --> 00:26:26,850 Would you like to enter me for a singing competition? 230 00:26:27,630 --> 00:26:28,690 Yes, I would, miss. 231 00:28:37,770 --> 00:28:39,830 Excuse me, I'm disabled, thank you very much. 232 00:28:42,430 --> 00:28:43,430 Santa Monica! 233 00:28:44,490 --> 00:28:45,590 Just the ticket! 234 00:28:49,250 --> 00:28:50,370 Scooba -dooba! 235 00:28:57,270 --> 00:29:02,610 There he is! 236 00:29:02,990 --> 00:29:04,050 Stop that wheelchair! 237 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:10,520 What's this? 238 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:15,640 Perhaps they're the wheelchair catchers. Look, I have told you before, I am not 239 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:16,640 a lobster. 240 00:29:20,940 --> 00:29:26,760 Oh, my God. 241 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:28,480 Dawn, what have you done? 242 00:29:29,060 --> 00:29:31,160 I just didn't see it. You mean you didn't look? 243 00:29:31,380 --> 00:29:32,700 Well, how was I supposed to know? 244 00:29:33,060 --> 00:29:34,420 I mean, I just wasn't thinking. 245 00:29:34,700 --> 00:29:37,020 Well, perhaps you should have thought about it. Dawn, that's a piece of life 246 00:29:37,020 --> 00:29:39,020 you've raped there with this invalid car. 247 00:29:39,999 --> 00:29:40,999 Stupid cow! 248 00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:43,220 Look, it's not my fault, right? 249 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:44,440 It's not her fault, Jennifer. 250 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:46,600 It's the film industry's fault. 251 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:52,100 The blame for this lies fairly and squarely on the shoulders of the British 252 00:29:52,100 --> 00:29:53,100 industry. 253 00:29:58,300 --> 00:29:59,560 I don't like that ending. 254 00:29:59,980 --> 00:30:00,980 It's the only one we've got. 255 00:30:01,340 --> 00:30:02,340 I know, I know. 256 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:03,840 I just don't like it. 257 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:05,480 What are we going to do, then? 258 00:30:06,620 --> 00:30:07,620 You're the director. 259 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,420 Yeah, but you and Rick are the writers. 260 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,060 Yeah, yeah, but you get paid more than me. 261 00:30:13,460 --> 00:30:14,460 Do I? 262 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:16,700 Well, let's just leave it obscure. 17230