All language subtitles for The Comic Strip s01e05 Summer School

I wish you'd stop whining. Fresh air
will do you good.

Beth, I am a seriously ill person.
Please try and understand.

Hello. Hello.

I'm Beth Forrester. This is my husband,
Jake.

Beth Forrester and husband, Jake.

OK, right.

Well, if you can fill in one of these
forms each and bring them back here when

you've finished and then registrations
in E3, OK?

Thank you.

Hi, Julian.

Oh, God.

Can't keep me awake, can you?

Hello, Tarquin.

That's your head there, mate.

Thanks.

And don't forget to put everything on.

There's no, oh, dear, I forgot my
leggings later, you know.

You can't come back.

Yes.

Thank God these ones are a bit tighter
than the ones I had last year.

My bollocks kept falling out for
everyone to see.

I look like a Neanderthal petrol pump.

I tell you, it's bloody cold, though.

Wouldn't it be all right if I get my bra
on?

Can I use you to take it off?

Don't be so pathetic, woman.

Get it off.

There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

We're all going to be seeing a lot of
each other over the next few weeks.

I know that. All right, tell me, tell
me. Did Iron Age woman have a plate

guider? No.

Not on your life.

Come on, get it off her crotch. Oh, I
give up with you feminists.

Hi, gang.

Hi, gang.

Everything OK?

Everybody got everything they need?

Oh, just to let you know that there are
some tools, okay, in the village from

last year, which you can use. But I hope
you all understand that apart from

that, you are all totally self
-sufficient, okay?

So you won't be needing this, Tarquin,
will you?

Okay,

I'll give it back at the end.

Oh, yeah.

No, sorry.

Sorry.

Peter. I prefer Peter.

Yes, I think I might prefer Peter to all
the other men here.

Really?

Well, um, what's your name?

Ursula.

But you can call me Urs.

Ursula, right.

So, Peter.

Yes? Is your seed plentiful?

Hey, Paul, excuse me. Could I have a
Senzano and lemonade for Margaret?

Megumi. Megumi, actually. Of course.

Megumi. You know, that's a very
beautiful name for a very beautiful

Actually, it's incredible.

But my mother's middle name was Megumi.

Could I have quite a real ale, please?

He must be one of us.

Yes.

If by that you mean we are to be fellow
travellers on the path of knowledge

about our forefathers, then yes, I am
one of you.

That's jolly good.

I'm Liz and this is Peter.

I am Lug, son of Mill.

Are you sure this is the way? Yes, of
course. I'm sure it's right over there.

I've never seen it last year.

Well, I can see it so far.

Guess what, Margaret?

I think I'm crazy about you.

Megumi, actually.

Yeah, sure.

There, see, Jake, I told you.

Hello.

How are we doing?

Is everyone here?

One, two, three, five.

No, sorry, could we all just stand still
for a sec, please?

Just so I can do a count.

Thanks. One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Right,

everyone. Hey, sorry I'm late.

Hi.

Fantastic.

OK, well, now everyone's here.

Well, we'll leave you to it, OK?

There is a small crops garden we've
planted from last year.

Afraid we can't tell you where it is,
though. You'll just have to find it,

And you won't be needing this, will you?

No mod cons and all that.

Okay, well, good luck, everyone, and
happy hunting.

Bye. Bye.

I suppose we ought to think about
lighting a fire. Anyone got any flints

Yeah, I've got my lighter.

Oh.

Oh, sorry.

I think they got the message.

Look, calm down and come and sit down,
Tarquin.

I think, really, we ought to sort of
work out some sort of plan for the day

policies for the village in general.
Very good idea.

Right. Absolutely.

Moral codes are very important.

Morning. Hi.

Morning.

I mean, are we going to allow these
people to sort of wander through the

at random?

Well, perhaps we can ask Julian to keep
them away.

Well, I think that we should kill anyone
that we catch.

Steady on, Tark. Look, we should go
ahead and attack if we feel threatened.

Tark, nobody is threatening us.

I know.

And that's why it would be very clever
tactics if we attack them before they

threaten us. Great idea.

Now can we think about some important
things, like food, perhaps?

God, that's strange.

You know something? I had an identical
twin sister called Jane.

She was killed when our pram crashed.

I tried to save her.

We're not sort of thinking how they'd be
thinking anyway. I mean, we don't know.

I mean, look at me. I'm saying cutting
cabbages. They probably wouldn't even

have cabbages.

I feel quite strongly, you know, that
we've sort of come here with more

knowledge of language and communication
than we should have or that they would

have. But we can't do anything about
that now, can we? Yes, I was just going

say that.

Well, we can't pretend we don't know how
to speak.

More water, please, Beth. I must prepare
my body for the sacred conception.

I mean, I know we can't pretend that
we've got no language, but that's why I

think we ought to invent our own, you
know, using grunts and things.

It's a bit of Quest for Fire Desmond
Morris, don't you think, love?

Listen.

Ah.

Do you see?

Well, actually, no.

So what do you think it was?

Something to do with Germany?

No.

Just

like

Queen Mayhem, she radiates light and
warmth.

But when the traveler draws near to
enjoy the heat, he falls prey to a

web.

And though the warmth feels good, it is
the warmth of the fires of hell.

Lug, too, had a wife and proved
unfaithful with Kermit, son of Dagda.

Lug killed Kermit with his magic staff.

Really?

There is a lesson here for us all to
learn.

Is there not?

Oh, Christ, shut up!

Oh, God, that's it. I mean, I haven't
had a decent meal with meat for three

days. I'm going to the canteen. Oh, come
on, Tark, that's not exactly cricket.

You can't... Don't give up. Look, I am
ravenous, and all we've got is bloody

grass. You can make a lovely stew out of
this.

Oh, Jake.

Well, listen, Tuck, what about all those
rabbits you said were around?

Well, I don't know.

Just bloody mix them with toasts, isn't
it?

Wait a minute.

Jolly good meal. Well done, girls.

What do you mean?

I killed them.

Yes. Jolly well done, Tark.

I think.

Yeah, well done, Tark. Love you, good
girl.

Love you, good girl.

Um, shouldn't we all be thinking about
the new language?

Forget about trying to think about the
new language.

I think we should be trying to think
about something that's much more

to think about.

Like what?

Like where we're all sleeping tonight.

Yes. Sorry.

I'm talking about sex.

What?

Look, we've all got needs, OK?

And maybe I've got more needs than most,
but we're supposed to be living as near

to the Iron Age culture as possible,
right?

Mm, yes.

Right.

And they must have slept around quite a
bit in those days.

Otherwise there wouldn't be any little
Iron Age people wandering around, would

there? No.

So I think we should follow suit.

Yes. Yeah.

I think we must do this thing properly,
right?

Okay. Okay, now I've been thinking about
this.

And I think the most democratic thing,
right, would be if we shagged the girls

in rotation.

Sorry?

Yeah.

So, who's with me tonight?

Liz, perhaps we could... Oh, yes, of
course, Simon, I'd love to.

Super.

Excuse me, Tom.

Peter, you're my chosen one.

But... No buts about it.

Come on.

We'll go to one of the smaller huts,
then we can be alone.

Well, Linda?

Beth. Of course, how strange.

I want you to know that what you and I
are about to do is all in the course of

duty, yeah?

You know, like we must take on the
responsibility of research, yeah?

Yes, I do see what you mean.

But there is a snag.

What's that?

I'm having my P -E -R -I -O -D.

So I think we should wait a few days.

It's a bit mucky, you know.

Pernod?

This year, I'm going to conceive a
strong warrior man -child.

And that child will be yours, Peter.

Ursula, I'm not exactly sure... Yes,
your manhood will explode within me and

maidenhood will rise to meet it in
perfect union.

And together we will create a strong new
being. And he shall be called son of

Peter. Daughter of Mayerbe.

I chastise you for your faithlessness.

You are wife of Bran.

Second son of Odin, and you bring plague
and disease.

What? Get gone from here, else I shall
use my magic staff to remove

you.

Shut up, Desmond, and piss off.

All right, all right, I'm going.

Be gone, foul temptress.

You pair of perverts.

I'm going to find some real men.

Peter, you must be puzzled.

Well, yes.

Relax, Peter.

Remember the traveler, the fires of
hell.

Yes. Well, thanks very much for saving
me back there.

Relax, Peter, and turn over.

You must contain your strength.

Sleep. Sleep.

Draw those heavy curtains across your
eyes.

Peter.

Yes? Would you like to see how the magic
staff works?

Yes, that would be nice.

Missed you last night.

Really? I would have thought you'd had
quite a good time with Ursula.

I really like her.

Ursula's great, but... Oh, come on.

Blondie bear.

Let's try a new language.

Mm?

Mm!

Mm! Mm!

I really am enjoying this course.

I don't know if it's the fresh air or
what, but I really feel quite gay.

Come on.

Look, I don't know what you're trying to
say.

I said good morning, Tarquin.

What was that?

I said piss off.

Oh, thanks very much.

What's the matter with you this morning?
Nothing.

Come on.

What is it?

Well, if you must know...

I had to spend the whole of last night
in here on my own while you lot all

went off to sleep around.

What about Jake?

What about him? He was here, wasn't he?

Yes. Oh, my God.

What is it? It's Jake.

He doesn't appear to be moving.

I think he's... He's rather dead.

Well, he did say it wasn't feeling very
well.

What a strange position.

Oh, Christ!

I didn't think that I'd talk.

It's all right. Julian's coming.

Julian!

Quick, hide the body.

What? Where?

Look, let's pop him up and sit him in
the zone.

Hi, gang.

Well, it's meditation time, is it?

Meditate with Mother.

No, seriously, could you all listen a
sec? It's about the leaving do and

OK?

No,

sorry. Can we have a bit of hush?

Could we have a bit of hush on this one,
please? A bit of hush.

Thank you.

Jake, isn't it?

Yeah. What we usually do is... What is
it?

Is it some sort of game, is it?

Well, look, somebody better talk
properly soon, OK?

Julian! Jane!

Jane!

Right,

look, all I'm saying is you're going to
miss the disco if you don't know where

it's going to happen, aren't you?

For God's sake, you're behaving like
stupid children.

Well, OK, OK, behave like children. No,
fine, fine, absolutely, absolutely.

You're wasting everybody's time.

Never mind, though, OK, fine, fine.

You realise you won't be getting your
certificates, don't you?

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

I suppose we should notify somebody.

That's going to have a bit of a
headache, isn't she, Tom? Well, at least

not dead.

Son of mill.

Propose we build a funeral pyre.

Noble and high, that we might burn him
and return him to the

soil whence he came.

A sacrificial offering.

Well, I don't know. I mean... It's what
they would have done, of course. Look,

why don't we just call an ambulance?

Then I could make fertility symbols from
his teeth.

The ashes will make really good clay.
Yes. We could all dance around the fire.

Yes. Desmond.

I mean, Lug.

Would you lead the ritual for us?

Of course.

But Peter the Innocent must be my
assistant.

Where's Tarquin? I bet he's got
something to do with this. I can't find

This course has been running for five
years.

Perfectly all right.