Original subtitles

Okay, check them out. New chompers.

Just in time for the French market.

We've got everything. Fresh fruits, fresh cut flowers, samples, gifts.

I sell it all.

You look like you could use a watermelon julep.

What? A watermelon julep.

That looks good.

You ever had super concentrated watermelon?

Oh, it's real good.

Best way to have it.

Okay, good.

Now, ordinarily I would do this, you know, before people came over. I usually

have them all laid out on the table.

So this is going to be a little bit different here.

No, that's okay.

The process is kind of fascinating how it works.

Uses a hair dryer and a watermelon.

Kind of keep the hair inside the bag.

Good.

It's kind of like a raisin.

How a raisin dehydrates down.

Okay.

Good.

Takes 80 % of the water out of the watermelon and leaves it really, really

Yeah, be careful now, though, because it'll...

It can burst.

Isn't that insane?

Yeah.

You're playing with me, right? Yeah, no.

No, this is a concentrated watermelon julep.

That's crazy. You never saw this? Never. Oh, this is the Deep South way to do

it. Oh, man.

Yeah. You use the watermelon.

It's mind -boggling. It is, but to me, you know, it's just watermelon.

I know you can do that with a watermelon.

Yeah, we'll put a little mint in there for you.

A little more ice.

What is that?

You didn't see what he just did?

No. Yeah, he just turned that whole watermelon into that little ball.

How? He put it in a bag, and he melted it, and it just, I don't know how.

It extracts 80 % of the juice, and it condenses the watermelon down, so it

really concentrates the flavors.

I know, I know.

And then this is the best part, because it's so tight. Again, if you can get

through the rind.

There you go.

It'll pop that.

Yeah. And here, you want to taste that?

Yeah. What does it

taste like?

Yeah.

I'm going to get some more watermelons. I only have one left out here.

Yeah, I'm going to try and grab some more watermelons.

Want to taste some tea?

Delicious black tea infused with honey. You good with honey?

Yeah. Okay, all organic.

That's good.

That's good? Yeah, it's not dry at all, thanks.

There you go, a little taste.

I'm going to get you a paraffinated swizzle stick.

It's kind of like what you have on a candle. Yeah. And they dip right in

Because the tea is paraffinated.

Let me show you.

So you'd drink a sip of it, and you'd dip a little bit onto the bottom of that

metal and heat it up just a bit. You can use a candle, or if you're doing this

at home, you can do it on a stove.

But guests like to do it with a candle.

And let it sink to the bottom, and it will paraffinate the wax.

It excites it.

Holy mackerel.

Yeah, it breezes it.

There we go.

And then it's a candle.

Here, hold out your hand.

I can clip that out for you.

That is so weird and wild.

Never in my life.

But do you feel that on your throat? Like the taste of it, it paraffinates

throat. Yeah.

So your throat is actually lozenged with wax.

Yeah, that's actually where the term tea lights come from. No way.

You light it in there. Yeah, here, we'll light it up.

That is the coolest thing ever. Isn't that great? Yeah. This way you can all

have a sip.

We're selling it in gift packs as well.

Yeah.

Let me grab you a gift box. Stay right there. I think I have one over here.

That is amazing.

Wow.

I'm out of gift boxes, but... Wow, that's so wild.

It's really insane.

Yeah. And then if you re -boil it, you can drink it again.

No. Yeah. Blow it out. Make a wish.

Did you wish by chance to be on a hidden camera magic TV show?

Because you are on one.

That's amazing.

Seriously, I'm a magician. That is the coolest thing I ever saw in my life.

I was like, am I going to be okay?

Do you have any other succulents?

I have that one, and then the only other one were these little, little bowls

here. You want to purchase these two? Just one?

Okay, great.

So that is $20 even.

And then how?

Okay, so where should they keep, like, sunlight?

They're actually very good anywhere because we infuse them with broccolini

well. You know how much water broccolini can absorb?

Do they absorb a lot? That's how you really keep your plant life.

I didn't know that. Seriously?

The stalk of the broccolini. How much do you typically put in?

Well, we'll cut it and we'll let it soak in the water.

Just a little piece of it, right?

It kind of sticks to that. Yeah.

And then you fill it with water. So one little piece of that, it's more

absorbent than a sea sponge.

So we put this much water in there first.

Let it absorb it. Yeah, let it kind of absorb that. And then we use this.

This is broccolini eternale.

That's what extracts the regenerative effects of broccolini. Because plants

regenerate. You know, we can't regenerate our...

bodies when we lose pieces, but plants can and some reptiles can as well.

So yeah, we plowed it up.

It's really wild.

The botany behind it.

The science.

So she shouldn't change the water?

No, I wouldn't change the water in that because that already has this whole

thing in it. So once the water goes down?

Yeah, see?

And that'll pull all the moisture and you kind of warm it with your hands.

That's crazy.

You're going to keep it in the glass if you keep it warm just for a few seconds

in the morning.

That's what you have to do. And then because, look, the smoke pulls the

moisture.

Stop it. So it regenerates an entire broccoli from the one chip. So this can

planted again, and we can make more of it.

That's so crazy.

Yeah.

It's a very zen.

vegetable for a lot of people i just had like a that's crazy you had like a

dream broccolini will do that i mean it is the broccolini eternale which means

eternal broccolini you can never destroy broccoli because it will always

regenerate wow yeah that's why it's so good for you but let me see if i have a

gift box for that one second here so i don't know what you do

These fake tattoos are making sort of, like, lizard -y skin on me, which is,

like, only more appropriate for the Chicago Reptile House.

What are you feeding?

Uh -huh.

He's about ready to go. Yeah.

Oh, is he?

Sorry to hear that, man.

All right. You can wear those if you want, if you're going to be near here.

I'm just going to... Yeah.

I got to do the whitey.

What do you get to do with them? We get a lot of people coming in for feeders,

so... We're splicing feeders now.

Splicing? Splicing feeders.

What the hell is splicing? With this thing. I don't know.

Yeah, well, they're just feeders. They're for people to feed, like you're

feeding your... Yeah?

Yeah.

What are we going to do with him?

Oh, it's like a process. It's a little gene splicer.

Really? Yeah.

So he goes inside here, so he doesn't let the bottom... Oh, yeah. That's wax,

almost like... You know when you have a frog, like a taxidermy?

Uh -huh.

Or when you're going to try dissecting a frog? Yeah. That thing whacks the

bottom of that.

Okay, here we go.

Okay.

So because they're single cells, they'll split.

So we use these as feeders instead.

It's just a more humane way of doing it.

Come here, little guy.

Yeah. You haven't seen us do this before? We do the same thing with the

crickets, too.

Anything that has a...

Single cell.

Single cell mammal or insect.

Yeah.

He doesn't want to go anywhere.

No, he doesn't want to go.

There's always one that's like the alpha, so we'll keep him to grow.

Really? Yeah.

Then he can be split again.

These guys you want to just sell.

But the alpha we always keep.

There we go.

A little feisty little guy, right?

Got to be locked in there.

Yeah, you're standing back, right?

Don't be nervous.

No. I got to do this.

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

So these ones will be just a little bit small.

No freaking way.

Yeah. Look at all those little guys.

Okay, hang on one second.

Get these guys in here.

Yeah, we've just been doing this for like the last three weeks. Have you not

been in here to see this? For feeders, it's more humane to splice them.

Do it with any simple -celled organism up to 18 times, and then they'll start

get a little, you know, wonky.

We call them ploppers, but those will work for feeders too.

Hang on, let me grab your crickets, okay?

We've got to give this guy some tickets.

That is freaking amazing.

Sorry about that.

How does it do it? Huh? How does that do that?

It interrupts the cellular mitosis.

So this laser forces that action.

So it just interrupts that and the cells split.

That's fucking amazing.

That was cool. It's cool, right? It's like the Carbonaro effect.

Do you know what that is?

No. The Carbonaro effect? The Carbonaro effect, it's the name of a hidden camera

magic TV show that you're on.

Yes!

Get out of here!

You son of a gun!

No way, dude.

That was cool.

I'm going like, there's no way you can do that.

Hey, how's it going?

Good. I'm picking up turtle bedding. Oh, sure. Yeah, totally.

Andy, the turtle bedding.

Can I ask you a question? Is this totally weird? I was going to give this

girlfriend. She's really afraid of snakes.

Is that close enough to snakes?

That's because I don't like snakes.

Well, like, they're kind of like snakes, but they're not snakes.

I would say no.

Not that they're good? No.

Okay. I was going to say it's a nice... She gets grossed out by snakes, so I

thought that would be just like... Yeah.

See what you're going for. Yeah, because they're a little bit less snake -like

and they're more caterpillar -y. Oh, God.

You know?

So I thought, you know, like, but would you still...

Would you be afraid of that if you were afraid of snakes?

I'm like a little bit afraid of that.

What did you just do?

Yeah, when they stand up on their end like this, they stay stiff and you can

like their little horn.

They can only burn for about 10 seconds.

They're called candelas, Bolivian candelas.

It's like a thing they do for birthday celebrations.

In Bolivia.

You did not just light those on fire.

Yeah, you can light those little tips.

Yeah, we get a whole case of them in here.

So once they go into hibernation, we were going to, like, sell them as the

candles. And then they only work when they're stiff like that.

Really? Yeah.

I'm going to get these guys back in. Once they start moving again, they won't

that again until the season hits.

When they get scared, they'll stay perfectly stiff.

The same thing we do when we perk up.

And then that becomes...

That's a receptor that if you touch it, it has no nerve endings in it. That's

why you can light it.

And then once they feel the heat, you put them down on top of the mouth.

Bunker. Yeah. But I just don't want her to freak out when I was showing it to

her. So yay or nay on these. I shouldn't do it.

She might freak out.

Yeah? Yeah. All right. Let me go grab your bedding. Okay.

I'm here to pick up a plastic tank.

Okay, hey, hey, Jack.

That plastic tank, is it on the truck?

All right, just get it up. It's the lady's here for the order for you.

How you doing?

Good, how are you? Doing okay.

Don't be afraid of our little snakes over here. Oh, my favorite.

You love snakes?

No, I don't. Oh, they're harmless when they're little. We had a guy in here

doing a seminar teaching snake charming.

Really? Yeah.

So, like, he had a whole thing. We had, like, 15 people in here, and we learned,

like, how to make them, like, it doesn't really work when they're out in the

light, but you have to cover them up and then learn how they respond.

Usually it has to be at night because the mother will move the snake, the baby

snake, by night with high -pitched frequencies.

So they kind of...

Well, wiggle, yeah.

So what type of snake is that? It's a baby corn snake.

And, yeah, the guy, he set us up with, like, these little kits.

It's a special kind of ink that's made from charcoal and mud indigenous to

they live.

And it's all natural.

And it's just used as kind of like a henna tattooing in some countries.

All right, let's see if I can get him to do it.

All right. Come here, you little guy. Don't be scared.

Okay, here. We'll dip his little tail in that.

Okay.

I think that'll work. Okay, let's try it.

Okay, buddy. We'll do it on a blank pad here.

We'll put it underneath it. Okay, ready?

Like that?

That should do it.

And then you make art?

Yeah, you try and let them, like, wiggle and make art.

People do it in the dark.

So, what's your name?

Carrie. Carrie?

Yeah. How do you spell it? K -A -R -I.

K -A -R -I.

All right, little boy.

Let's see.

Oh, my God.

That is great.

Yeah, my boss is really, really good at it. Oh, my God.

Pretty good, right? Yeah, absolutely.

It's kind of like a combination of how you play and the talent of the snake.

Oh, my God. That is amazing.

Yeah, snake charmers were regarded as the highest artists of the village

they would do art and they would be able to, you know, charm the animal life.

That is amazing. Yeah.

Hey, buddy. Good job.

Nice job, little guy. Hang on one sec. I'll get your order.

I'll be right back.

Here, let me hoist it to here.

This side's still a little too low, right?

Yeah, like I'm tripping right now a little bit.

Okay, today we're at Cook's Wholesale Warehouse.

I've got unsuspecting people being set up over there in the toilet paper

waiting for me on walking.

Hey, is this Devante?

Yes, sir.

Oh, it's Michael. You hold my toilet paper?

Yes.

Oh, hey.

What's up? So you're helping me. I'm Michael. Okay, cool, cool. What is the

name? Devante. Devante. Okay.

We are going to be here. Come around here.

Okay. We're going to be setting up right here like a little toilet paper display

right here. Okay. It's got like two signs are going to be right here and the

sign. Well, I'm going to hang a sign in between those two.

Okay. So, yeah. So, come on over here.

And here, you want to push this side.

We'll kind of pull this out of the way.

And slide it back and actually use the crate. Here, hold on. You know what?

All right. That's good.

That's good. That's good. So, that's what's going to.

No.

Those shouldn't be stacked up there individually like that.

Yeah, see how these are all shrunk wrapped? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're

usually shrunk wrapped into these cubes.

Ah, okay.

I'll probably fix that.

Well, we'll do the banner first, and then we can fix that.

All right.

But, you know, we can maybe use these for the pyramid.

Gotcha. And we can use what's in here, too.

Yeah, we'll use the ones in here and the ones over there.

So I guess, you know, what's going to be good for you to do is, like, just help

me, like, make sure it's straight. Like, I could probably use your eye.

Okay.

All right, good.

Fine here.

Pillow there.

I dropped a pillow back there. Will you grab that?

We'll put it up later.

So let me unfurl this here. Will you make sure it doesn't hit the ground?

That's nice.

Okay, I think that'll straighten it out. Okay, good. Yeah, it won't hit the

floor, right? No, no, no. Oh, that's perfect.

All right, so yeah, stand back and tell me when it pulls up perfectly straight.

Looks like... Horizontally or vertically?

Well, I want it to kind of be between these two. Oh, yeah.

Here, let me hoist it to here.

This side's got to be a lot.

Hold on a minute. No.

This side's still a little too low, right?

You okay?

Hello?

Hello?

Yeah, I'm here.

Could you help?

Yeah, where are you at? I'm trying to look for you.

Somehow, I think I slipped inside this.

How did you get in the crane?

Could you help?

Yeah, where are you at? I'm trying to look for you.

Somehow, I think I slipped inside this.

How did you get in the crane?

How did you even get in the crate?

Through the top somehow.

Okay. All right. Hold on. Hold on. I didn't... Where's the toolbar?

Over here. I got you.

Okay. I can't hear... There's like plastic all around me.

How the hell did this happen?

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Whoa. How did you actually get in there?

Dude,

how did you get in there?

I have no idea.

Like, I'm tripping right now a little bit.

How did you?

Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.

How'd you end up in the box?

Dude, it was like something hit me in the head. I saw the top of the box, and

then it was dark, and I was like, there was plastic, and I'm inside.

Dude, there's no freaking way. Somebody left these crates outside, so I think

perhaps the wood... But we would have seen where you went in. When wood gets

damp... Yeah, no, it bends. No, it can swell and expand between the cracks, so

must have flipped... There's no... I'm not trying to be that guy, but there's

way... Well, no, but they were outside and they were damp, so maybe it was

overnight. But you were standing on top.

Yes. And I am telling you, this is what's trippy here.

It's not going anywhere.

No. You know what I'm saying? So how did you end up inside? Because I was

surrounded by V.

Wow, that's trippy as fuck.

All right.

Oh, my God.

You're good, though? I'm good. I mean, you know what?

That's like one of those weird things where like, you know, like dry paper,

wood, Carbonaro effect.

No way.

Yeah. No way. Do you know what that is? The Carbonaro effect? Yeah, yeah. I've

seen the TV show. Oh, you have? Yeah.

But that's still trippy as hell. Wait, that's a TV show?

That was like a science thing. No, it's actually, well, there's a TV show called

The Carbonero Effect, and they play tricks on people.

Not tricks, but like, they're optical illusions, that type of deal, so.

Right, right, right. Who does it? I don't know. Some guy. Some dude? Yeah.

still just trying to, I thought two plus two equals four, but it doesn't here.

No. It does not here. It's definitely MC squared.

I'm MC.

Yeah, MC squared here.

MC squared.

No, seriously, I'm Michael Carbonaro. Okay, heck yeah. That's what's up, bro.

All right.

Devante, what if I told you that you were on the Carbonaro effect right now?

No way. No way. My name's Michael Carbonaro.

I'm a magician.

You're on that TV show. You were joking. The one that you're just talking about.

You were literally joking right now. I'm not joking with you. You were joking.

Nope. I'm a magician.

And this is the Carbonaro effect right now.

Yo.

Yo. Yo.

You are not. You are not. You are not. Are you serious? I'm serious.

Are you serious? I'm not lying to you. I'm not lying to you. Because how the

hell did you even know?

Exactly. I'm like the Carbonaro. Dude, I'm a magician.

Dude, you know what's crazy? You kind of look like him. You have to check me

out. But it looks like the same.