Original subtitles

If you thought last season was exciting, just wait till you see me at the

library.

Hi. Oh, no problem.

Yeah. Oh, you need this book.

Or, you know what? I think I could do it with the thumb system.

I don't have one yet.

Oh, I can hook you up. It's so easy. Okay, so. Yeah. We won't even use that.

We'll just use your thumb.

All right. Okay, so first thing I do is I'm just going to.

I know.

The technology now used to just be I would write it down, you know. Oh, boy.

Okay, so then just put the book there.

And I'm just going to ask you for a two -digit passcode.

One, two. One, two. Okay, and do you have like a favorite book?

The Joy of Clicking. That's a great one. Okay, good.

And your birth date, not the year, but just the month and the day. January

January 24th. Okay, perfect.

And your first name?

Kelly with a Y. Kelly with a Y.

K -E -L -L -Y.

Okay,

your last name?

Joan.

Okay, that should do it. Just push your thumb onto there.

Okay.

And that should do it. And just make sure, look on the back flap.

Just make sure that's accurate.

Twelve.

The number should be one, too.

It is a picture. Oh, my God, how did that happen?

Well, what is, we got what? How did I get here?

Oh, right, yeah, well, this is what I was saying. The system, now the book's

paired, so it used to have about the author, and now it's going to be about

borrower.

Take a picture. I don't even know what's happening.

I know.

This is so exciting.

Yeah. My picture's on the back of the book. Right. I know. It's almost as if

wrote it, right? Yes, and I'm like, how long have I been out of the library

since you guys had time to build this? Yeah, I know.

It's absolutely... And you know what I'm telling you? The kids get more excited

now about who used to have the book before them.

So, like, last week we had a book on astronomy taken out by Billy Ray Cyrus.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm going to take a picture of this. Yeah.

I guess it's mine to keep for a while, but ask them in the picture.

The book will sync, and we'll get updates about how much you've read.

So if someone else is interested in that book, I can say, oh, she's on page 56,

or she's going back to reread chapter 2, and we'll have different analytics

that'll show us.

This is amazing.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Isn't that amazing? I have to show them at work. I know. This

is absolutely incredible.

You know what? I have a SIM card that explains how all of this works.

Let me see if I can get it. Hold on one sec. Let me see if I can get that for

you.

Okay.

And, oh, we didn't get you a, did you get a page telly?

No. Oh, okay.

Well, yeah, all the members get the page telly. It's that new little invention.

I don't know if you saw that. I have no idea what that is. It's a voice

-activated reading device.

Okay. You put it next to the book, and after it knows your... You set the...

Get, like, your tone into the copper wire, and then you can work while you're

reading and stuff, and instead of turning the page, it'll hear your voice.

So you just turn.

So this way you can work while you...

While you read, everyone's getting one.

Oh, my gosh. Is this real?

I know. I couldn't even believe it when they figured this out.

It's something like, what was the guy saying? It's like your voice makes like

resonance that like because paper is.

Turn.

Yeah.

Because paper is made of trees.

So they put the word turn somehow is digitized into that.

I think if you say it from there, it'll probably.

Turn.

Turn.

A little louder. Turn.

That's for you.

It's a great one. It's a really great one.

Let me check in the back.

Make sure, because there's something on here.

But that page is going to work for all your books.

Well, hello.

How are you? I'm doing good.

Good. Uh, you look like somebody I know. Who's that?

His name is Dave. I was going to say, hi, Dave. Oh, hi.

No, my name's Stuart.

Nice to meet you, Stuart.

What's the story about the spring fair?

The spring, uh... Fair?

Fair. About the spring fair. Sorry, I have so many books here.

I'm like so overloaded with which ones are fiction and which ones are non

-fiction. Sure, sure, sure. Because they're not all labeled.

Like this one book that I have down here.

Uh -huh.

This is like how to fix things. That would be non -fiction, right?

Would this be a non -fiction?

Because it's a fix -it.

Thank you.

So how -to, right, is nonfiction.

Is that right?

I think. You think? Okay. Then I'm going to put that one in nonfiction. Okay.

Nonfiction.

You're making the funniest face at me. You are really, really throwing me off.

Why is that?

You look very familiar to me.

Like your friend Dave? Yes.

Who is this Dave person?

He's just a friend of mine. A friend of yours? So, do you have information on

this, dear? On the fair?

Um... Let me see if I have.

They just got this.

Romeo and Juliet is obviously non -fiction, right? This would be a non

Oh, my God.

So,

because that's Shakespeare?

Yeah. Even though it can... Who am I? Oh, my God.

Huh? Oh, nice to meet you. Oh, my God. Who am I? Who is Dave?

Oh, my... You are too... I can't believe this. What? I can't believe this. What

can't you believe?

I'm having a hard time.

Don't talk to me. What's your name?

My name's Donna. Hi, Donna. Nice to meet you.

You are a little red,

yeah. Am I somebody you know? I watch you all the time. You do.

My name's not Dave.

David. Is it?

Something. David.

What is your name?

What do you watch? You watch my show?

Come here, come here, come here, come here.

I'm going to show you something, and you'll know what show it is.

I know what show it is. It's the magic show. What's it called?

Oh, my God.

The Dave.

The Dave. The Dave.

Chappelle. Chappelle.

Show. Magic show. The Dave Chappelle magic show.

That's me.

Oh, my God. That is me.

In my hometown. Right here in your hometown.

Oh, cool. Right?

How many people can say I have had the Dave Chappelle magic show in my local

library? I'm having a hot flash. I'm having a hot flash. That was so good.

The minute I seen you, I thought, my pleasure. That was so nice.

It was nice. Will you be on my TV show? Do I get a pie? You get to be on TV.

Okay, I'm going to give you a gift for your future.

It's this book.

Oh, my God, Dave.

Dave. Dave Chappelle is giving you a hug right now.

Dave Chappelle, the robot magician.

Who can say Dave Chappelle, the robot magician, has been in their library?

Oh, my God.

You can.

Yes, I can.

All right.

This is just too much.

Pep Boys, this is Peppy Pep, and I'm Peppy.

Pep Boys meeting. Pep Boys, where the peps go.

That's not the slogan, is it?

He'll be right over here with that. Sure, thank you. It's cold out there,

Yeah. I've just been playing with this stuff they sent.

This stuff for windshields.

So you can clean your windshield from both sides.

Both sides? Yeah, like look at this. So if you have stuff on this side,

obviously that's the front.

Oops, I think I'm writing that wrong. It's kind of hard to do that way.

And then the back over here, if I write on the back bit.

Okay.

Now, here, take the cloth. You know, you wipe that away. You can wipe just the

front away, obviously.

Yeah, see, just the front goes.

But a little bit of this, a little microfiber cloth with this.

Right? The AeroSpritz, it'll actually wipe from the other side.

So you can get bugs off that way, or they're using it in high -rises.

it helps get moisture inside of a building.

Yeah.

Yeah,

it's really good. I use this stuff on my glasses.

I think so. You know what I mean?

Spray this.

Wrong side.

But it cleans the impurities from through.

What is going on here?

I think it went through it. Look at this.

Oh, you're kidding me.

Look at that.

Are those prescriptions?

These are prescriptions, yeah.

And it's still... I think I can lose... Oh, that's not bad.

Oh, I see. Okay.

You'll be able to do a solid something with a swift bang of it. All right, I'm

going to give it a try here.

You're supposed to be able to soak it.

Now, I'm not going to light it, but I'm going to take the matches and try that.

Wow, is that wild.

That is something else.

Yeah.

Hang on one second. I got to get... Where is Jerry?

Jerry! The whole solid thing that we were doing on the glass over there.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hi. How are you?

Doing good. Just trying to get this little doohickey to work.

You have a set of keys?

Yeah.

Okay.

Let me put a little.

The car comes with, it thinks with a GPS, and it comes with these little tags

the bottom of it.

It's a teletag. It's the same thing that works with a keyboard.

Okay.

And I'll just stick that right on there.

That's okay, right?

Yeah.

And then you take, if you don't mind.

There's a lot of people over there. All right, I'm just going to.

Sorry. Is that okay? No, it's fine.

Okay. I just want to see if it'll work.

Okay. So this little card gets synced up to the app. It's called Emerging Key.

Okay, you hold this. Okay.

All right, great. It's supposed to keep a sync.

All right, hold it up. See if the light goes on. Hold it up a little higher.

That's good.

Right there?

Okay. So then you put the car down. If you were to lose your keys, you put the

car down.

Right? And you set it off, and it's supposed to, like, sync up.

Does it say anything on it?

Retrieving. Status is retrieving.

I think I heard.

There we go.

It says found.

So now how do you find me?

What's that?

Oh, my God.

Is that it? Oh, my God. Look at this.

Wow.

Look at that.

Oh, my God.

That is insane.

That is insane.

Here, take that. Look at that. It's great. It worked.

Wow.

That is going to change the GPS landscape, let me tell you. I cannot

they work.

I mean, I lose my keys all the time.

Yeah. That is. My boyfriend loses his all the time, but his are a little

heavier. I don't know if it would still probably. If you have heavier keys, I

think you might want to get the Sema.

Oh, my God. Yeah, pretty great. Here, let me pick up your order. Okay. That is

insane. Feel free to play with that. How did it grab the keychain, though?

Huh? How did it grab the keychain?

How did it grab the keychain?

I think it's able to grab onto that.

With the Carbonaro effect.

I don't know what the Carbonaro effect is. Oh, the Carbonaro effect is the name

of the hidden camera magic TV show.

Oh, okay.

That you're on right now. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You're joking. I'm not joking.

I'm on TV. What's your name? Marilyn. Marilyn. Are there cameras in someone's

mirror? That's what that is. I thought this was really weird. It was really

weird, right? A little Twilight, though.

Oh, my God. You're joking.

Hold on. I'm talking to a new friend.

Is that insane?

Are you joking?

I'm completely telling the truth. What if I told you that these weren't my

glasses? I could say these are my glasses.

I was in disguise because some people know the show. This isn't my eye color.

Look at this.

A lot of people do that. A lot of people do that. That's not my eye color. See

that? Okay.

And this isn't my mustache. Not a lot of people do that, right? Okay, I don't

know. That's a little different.

A little strange. I have a little thing in my ear to listen to the people in the

truck that are watching us. I haven't had cable in like five years.

Do you believe me now?

I guess so. Would this have been better?

Can I help you pick up your order?

How much to put air in tires?

How much to put air in tires? Oh, we could do that for you.

We got a little low tires?

Yeah. Everything's going out today. Our barbecue went out.

Barbecue went out?

Yeah. Well, we bring our stuff from home, and sometimes a shrimp or whatever

is, and at lunch we heat up the barbecue.

It's like doing it at a tailgate party.

You ever hear a tail piping?

Tailpiping? Oh, it's what you do at a tailgate. Oh, like with the barbecue?

Exactly. Yeah, but you use the tailpipe. You use like a... I'm going to use an

exhaust tip.

Let me show you.

That looks good.

All right, so this guy... Here, you know what? Will you hold that for a moment?

You need... Obviously, when you're at an event and you're tailgating, your car's

running, which is better if you let the car run for a little while.

Gotcha.

But you put... I'm going to get a glove on, keep this safe.

All right, good.

So now I think the bend part of it is best to stick the tip up through like

this. Okay.

There we go.

Have that stick out.

This is where you have to be careful, okay?

So I'm going to hook up the positive charge first and the negative charge

Okay, watch out now.

What are you taping it?

No, I'm on FaceTime.

Oh, you're on FaceTime? Yeah. Okay,

here we go.

Okay, we'll put the positive.

All right. This is it. Here we go.

Touch that.

Good. And you just kind of spark it up. There we go.

Great.

That ought to do it.

The heat's in the cylinder, so it wraps around it. Let's see how we did here.

Back to the bit on my IG story.

Keep going.

Oh.

Yeah. That looked good.

It worked.

Oh, yeah. It works.

It totally works. We can totally do this today, guys.

We're tailpiping.

We just made a whole shish kebab.

Yeah. Who is that? That's my friend.

Oh, hi, friend.

Yeah, we made some shish kebabs together here.

That works really well for shish kebabs or kielbasa.

You can make a whole meal with a car.

You can, yeah. Well, listen, I got some Cornish hens marinating in some

antifreeze. I'll be right back. I'll get you a part.

Okay,

now you pick up and shake with me.

Stand up.

One, two, three.

Oh, okay.

Oh, my God.

Hey, we're here at Relax the Back today, and I'm here with my friend Galia. You

ready to give somebody a not -so -relaxing experience?

Oh, yeah. Let's do it.

Hey,

guys. Thanks so much for helping.

Armari. What's her name?

Armari. Armari. Nice to meet you, too. Hi, Galia.

Galia. Oh, interesting names to help.

Armari and Galia. Okay, Michael.

So, I just need some people out on the floor. I have some stock coming in, and

just need... if anybody wanders in somebody to be friendly and you know

them a little relax the back experience okay so when they come in the store

first thing you want to do smile say hello welcome to relax the back and kick

off your shoes and slide into this thing it's like flipping into a dream it's

got a five minute demo and i like to put each customer into it here we go

And you know what? I'll teach you the bed. Well, you both learned both, but

show you both. So the sleep system, if somebody is serious about trying this

out, these work in tandem with the software inside of that tablet that

to the comforter and the foam of the bed.

So it knows your body weight, and it's going to regulate all of that across

of the trigger pressure points of your back and your pelvis.

That's crazy. Now, do you sleep on your back, your front, your side?

My back.

Okay. Well, lay down on your back, if you don't mind. You said your shoe's

right? Yes. Okay, good. Lay down, and go ahead and go for the whole experience.

Tuck your feet right up on in there. Okay.

It's almost like a sleeping bag feeling. You're really encapsulated in that.

Yeah. Okay, now hold on. Before you lay back. Oh, yeah.

This is the tricky part with the customer.

You're not sleeping on me, are you? No.

So this is the part you have to ask the customer their weight.

So how much do you weigh?

99.

99? Yes. Right on the nose. All right, so you type in their weight, right?

99.

And then it will begin. Okay.

Wow. Oh, my God. It's so soft. Isn't that wild?

It's going to know you're 99 pounds.

Now, it's made with blackout curtain fabric.

So you could take a nap in the middle of the day. It'll be pitch black. Can I

cover you up? Yeah, sure. Okay.

Actually, the comforter is going to read you. There's 500 stitches in the front

that's reading your body map.

Hold on. There's a pillow that goes with it, too.

Hang on a second.

All right.

I got it over here.

Oh, my God.

This is so soft.

This is super comfortable.

Wow.

Yeah, here it is. This is what you want.

You want the pillow that goes... Is he okay?

Oh, did you... I'm sorry.

System inbound.

Sorry, was that weird?

Hello?

Where'd she go?

Hello? Did she get scared?

No, she's in... No, no.

What happened? Where'd she go? She was in there.

No, I know, I know, but I think... It might feel weird without the pillow, so

she probably got uncomfortable.

No, she was there.

She was in the bed?

Yeah, and she just... Did she get out?

No, she was in there, and she just... Are you serious?

No, wait, hold on, hold on.

She definitely didn't get out? Oh, my God, I'm scared.

Come on, you're kidding me.

Wait a minute.

Hold on, hold on. Let's think this through.

Hold on, hold on.

I put 99 pounds.

Wait, what is that?

Oh, shoot.

I put 990.

Oh.

I put 990.

Oh.

Okay, that's my fault. So what happened to her though? Well, I think it got way

too soft.

I know, but, like, where did she go? Because she didn't leave, like... This

came in on Monday, so I'm forgetting. Because I saw it, like, shrinking, and,

like, the bed was going down, and it just... Let me feel.

Because this stuff has, this has central density.

Let me see if I can, can you help me?

This is, um, I saw the guy doing this in the video, but I didn't watch it. I

just pushed the density of the foam toward the center.

Good. All right. Wait, hold on. You push your end down, and I'm going to shake

to the middle. Hold yours down.

I'm going to shake the weight to the middle.

Okay, good.

Okay, now you pick up and shake with me.

Okay, ready? Up.

Stand up. Stand up, right? And we're going to shake three. Ready?

One, two, three.

Oh, okay.

Oh, my gosh. Are you... Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

I can't breathe.

Okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on up. Yeah, you're okay. You're totally

okay.

I am so sorry. What just happened?

I think that you went inside here. Do you want to get some water?

I can't breathe. There's water in the back. There's a restroom. Are you okay,

though?

You're okay. There's water.

You're okay. Just get a little bit of water. There's water back here?

Yes. Okay. Have a seat and relax.

You're back.

I am... Oh, my God.

Okay.

Oh, my God. She was in there? She was in the foam.

I know.

That's what he said. The customers have to be careful. Where did she go? I just

saw her, like, slowly.

Like, she was in the bed, like, slowly sinking in. And I'm like, what? How did

she? How?

Yeah. That's crazy. It's suction foam.

It's suction foam. But it looked, like, regular. Like, it didn't look like her

body was in there.

And you know what? I feel bad because they told me that. That's just insane.

Like, this needs to be on TV.

It does need to be on TV. You know where this would be good? Oh, my God. On that

TV show, The Carbonaro Effect.

Have you heard of that before?

No. The Carbonaro?

My name's Michael Carbonaro.

I'm a magician.

Oh, yeah. And you're on my TV show right now.

This is Galia. You were so awesome. Come on over here. You were so great.

Girl, did you really, like,

not be able to breathe?

I was perfectly safe the whole time.

No, you were not.

Because you were like, I can't breathe. I'm like, what is going on? No, like, I

really freaked out. And then you're like, did she leave? I'm like, no. Her

are right there. She, like, fell.

Like, I wish I would have just, like, recorded this.

Don't worry, we did.

We recorded it. I know, but, like, for my own, like, keeping, like. Well, we're

going to put it on national TV and you can record it.

Yeah.

How did you even fit in the mattress? That's my question.